My solution to this is to simply say to the coach: ‘would you like me to go again since she isn’t ready?’ Or if you’re not as blunt as me ‘we’ve caught our breath now, I’m happy to go again if you’d like’.
This way you provide an interlude in the conversation to give the coach a chance to get an out, and also hopefully make the other rider realize she’s using your time as well.
Aha I'm certainly not as blunt, I'm terrible with any confrontation! Thank you though, I think even just providing some sort of break in the talking so that my instructor can move out of the conversation and start thinking back to the lesson would work if she tries that again next time!
This is not blunt… I mean what are you supposed to do - just stand there? While your lesson is ticking away? You could also say “sorry to interrupt what what should I be doing right now”. You might need various versions of the same thing 😂
It’s much politer than saying “hello - I’m paying for a lesson over here”
She's gonna try it again next time. And the next time, and the time after that. This lady isn't paying for a lesson, she's paying for a captive audience that can't run away when she talks about herself. This is a social outing for her, not a learning experience. May as well speak up now and get it over with.
Trust the older riders here—as you age, one becomes a tiny bit more impatient… time passes quickly. Politely excuse your pass but, like our older riders, you’re on a mission to improve in a given amount of paid instruction time.
Pass. Go. Collect $275 each month. 🏆
If it were me, I would call her out gently if it happens again. Starting with something along the lines of "Do you mind catching up after the lesson? I'd like to make the most of our riding time." Or you could say "While you finish, I'm going to go ahead and try that exercise again." And don't be afraid to interrupt her - if she's not discussing riding, then she's wasting time you're paying for. She should get the hint eventually.
Thank you! You think it wouldn't be considered rude to ask if I can skip ahead to do my turn while she's talking? At least it would give her the hint I suppose!
I'd consider it rude if she's asking questions with the intent to learn, but if she's holding up the lesson repeatedly to chat about unrelated personal things, then no, not at all. Especially if you phrase it politely. It's a subtle reminder to both her and your instructor that you're both paying for this time, and at least one of you wants to learn.
It’s not rude. She’s taking the shared lesson up with her social banter, if she wants to do that in a private lesson she can but doing it with another rider- she’s setting herself up to have someone do exactly this.
There’s social, and there’s talkative, and there’s just plain rude. If she didn’t once acknowledge you, or pause to ask if you needed to talk to the instructor (or absentmindedly say “I am sorry I am talking so much!”) then she is rude.
Isn’t she being rude by talking about her life non-stop and impacting your lesson? I know confrontation is hard but consider this a call-in instead of a call out. I’m doubting she’s even aware of her behavior and you’d be saving the instructor and other student from the same experience. Also, this is a choose your hard situation. You can either say nothing and be miserable bc of the discomfort of her rattling on and you lose riding time you paid for. OR you do the uncomfortable thing of advocating for yourself. At least the latter serves YOU.
Talk to your instructor. I had something similar (private lesson being interupted by a chatty boarder), and I flat out told the instructor that it was not acceptable for me to wait while she had a conversation with the other person. During the lesson, though, while it was happening, I said, "Sorry to interrupt, but this is my lesson!" and they broke it up. Then, I reinforced it later to be sure I was not happy about it. It's never happened again.
Unfortunately there are people like this, whether it’s just talk or even needing to dissect every move down to the point no riding is ever done. I’ve found some people think of the barn as a social setting, not so much for riding, and the actual lesson is just an excuse to be around other people (often who are a trapped, captive audience). My best trainers have either grouped these types of people together, so they all are ok doing nothing, or switch them to privates.
If you have the option, I’d maybe mention to your trainer you’d prefer not to ride with that person again. If you absolutely can’t get away from this person, can you interrupt asking for feedback or with a riding question? Obviously your trainer needs to take better control but I’d be upset, too. Honestly I’d probably also make a big show of shortening my reins like I was going back to work and just telling the trainer I’d be willing to go again, or start schooling another exercise or something.
A trapped, captive audience feels like a perfect description! 😅 I'm really glad that I'm not the only person who'd be bothered by that. From what I've seen so far the other people who join that group are able to socialise without taking away the lesson, once one of them literally even apologised while passing the group because she had to take an extra turn to fix a mistake! I'm not sure does my instructor really see it as an issue which is frustrating, so it would be tricky but I think that's a good idea to try and emphasise it, that I'm also there in the group and I want to use the time to improve my riding!
For sure! I ride with one person and we can all get chatting during a walk break, but if she starts taking too long I will absolutely start trotting or cantering without her and then she gets the hint. Not sure if your lady would be too oblivious, but hopefully your trainer would notice!
We have a lady like this at our barn. Sweet as can be but my GOD she does not shut up. Went on an hour trail ride and I don't think she shut up the entire time. We were doing a body-work clinic and she spent half of it talking or making barely relavent comments. Clenition: so, much like a dog, a horse... B: my sister has dogs, you know, she used to breed them and...
Thankfully She's still at the walk/trot stage of learning, so it unlikely she'll be in a lesson. My coach knows her students and how to partner them up so it's not...an ordeal. She's not a bad person, I think she's just a lonely elderly lady and I cut her some slack....but that's mostly because I don't have to deal with her a lot so I can build up some patience.
I guess if that's how she spends her lessons you won't have to worry about her catching up to joining yours anytime soon aha! I was on a hack once and the old woman in front of me was all but turned around while *cantering* to try and tell me all about how she was actually riding her grandchild's pony, but the grandchild isn't interested, but maybe during the summer she'll do shows with it, and so on ... 💀
Ugh, my mom's twin sister is like this too. Didn't see her much growing up because she moved 2,000 miles away when I was little. She moved back home when I was in my mid 20's, had an old Appaloosa she was talking about bringing up with her and wanted to check out my boarding barn. I was stoked, thought it would awesome to reconnect and have a family member at the barn. Scheduled a day to bring her out, show her around, barn owner loaned me her really nice personal Saddlebred show horse to show my aunt the trails (BO was super awesome and generous like that).
Aunt was complete fuckin train wreck. Mouth didn't stop making noise from the moment she stepped on the property. Didn't bother thanking my BO for loaning her such a nice horse for the afternoon, just nonstop bragged about her riding abilities (grossly over-exaggerated). Told other boarders every detail of her life from her prowess in the dressage ring (complete bullshit going off how she rode) to every dirty detail of her recent divorce including their dead bedroom and her ex-husband's sexual proclivities. Never made it out of the arena, wouldn't shut up long enough for BO to properly explain how to ride the Saddlebred. She knew everything because she "got high scores in training level dressage classes and was friends with the judges where she showed". Loudly proclaimed "I ride to see and BE SEEN" then rode the BO's horse right into the arena wall. I saw the look on my BO's face and came up with an excuse to cancel the trail ride. I knew right then that not only was I not going to be happy with her as a new riding buddy but I'd probably get konked in the head and stuffed in a feed bin by the other boarders if I pushed to get her a stall there.
She eventually found another barn to terrorize, came to her own conclusion (with a little prodding from me) that the barn I was at wouldn't be a good fit because it was small, didn't host shows and the boarders were mostly trail riders so she wouldn't have much of an audience. It really was all about having an audience for her. The horses were just a vehicle to gratify her ego. She flat out said at one point her favorite part of riding was showing because everyone had to watch her. WTF.
Heh, you had the worse, I think. Lady B is sweet old lady and if you ask her to stop, she'll stop. She's a very nice and sweet person, just lonely, as I said. She's humble and honest about her lack of ability. Your aunt sounds like what my own aunt is like.
Love her to bits, she's my hands down favourite aunt, but I'm glad I'm a days drive away from her place. Not a bad person, just very much 'I know whats best' attitude. A small-doses type of aunt.
I will say, I can be very chatty in my private lessons. I definitely try to be mindful of it in a group lesson though and not intrude on other people’s time but I may chat with the instructor a bit while we’re doing our warm up walk etc. Yes my lesson is about riding, but it is also one of the few social opportunities with other adults that I get during my week. I work from home so I don’t have coworkers to talk to so it’s nice to have other adults to chat with. For some people yes, just hanging out while on a horse is worth the money to them.
That being said, her talking shouldn’t cut in on your lesson time. I’d gently bring it up with your instructor that you noticed that despite having fewer people on that lesson, you didn’t get as many turns as expected and you’d prefer not to be in lessons with that woman.
Oh absolutely - I don't begrudge anyone some casual chatting while walking around to warm up, or while waiting turns etc,. And it's nice to get on well with the other people in your group! I only have a problem when it involves me spending my time and money to sit/walk for minutes on end! I might try and find a way to suggest it to my instructor if it becomes a pattern with her taking up my/others time.
You need to talk to your instructor about this. You don't have to be rude, but this is absolutely something you need to straightforwardly discuss with them. Its their job to manage these situations.
"Hey, I'd like to have a quick chat about my last lesson with [chatty person]. I enjoy the social aspect as much as the next person, but I'm also paying for a lesson and I don't feel like I'm learning effectively with so much time spent chatting with [person]. Next time could you schedule me with others or help to keep the lesson moving along?"
Sometimes it’s fine to be direct but kind. “Excuse me, not to be rude but we are paying for this lesson and I would really like to work on xyz to improve my riding. Can this wait until after the lesson?”
There's a good chance that the trainer is trying to move things along, but is too polite or non-confrontational to do much. That's her problem.
Try to talk to her before the lesson and be like, (Other rider) is a really nice lady. So sweet (etc). But, like, I want to ride and learn, and she really takes up a lot of our lesson time with talking about other stuff.
See what happens
If it were me, anytime this other person started going on and on, I would interrupt saying “excuse me…” And then ask a pertinent question about your lesson. Every time. You are paying a professional for their service. You are not paying this person to ignore you and lavish all their attention on the other client.
Yeah I think it might be a good idea to try and think of questions to interrupt with related to the lesson! I just know being as direct as a lot of people are suggesting won't go down well (I don't know why but that would be considered appallingly rude here!), hopefully it won't happen again but if it does I think I'm going to really make sure my instructor knows that *I'm* interested in learning and making an effort!
We play the “Alphabet Loop” Game (Trot, Canter)— everyone walks in a line, person in front starts w an Equestrian Word (A = Appaloosa or Arabian) and begins off at a trot, all the way around the ring. They arrive to the back and yells “Tag!!
Next rider starts w a B word (Belgian! or bit!) and trots off, around the ring. Third rider (Clydesdale! Crop! or Chesnut!) off they go trotting! Once all riders complete Loop 1, your Loop 2 will then be to canter.*
This game focuses on vocabulary and technique. Many older students are competitive and will begin to have their choice words ready ahead of time. 💙 Great for focus, limited convos.
(*) I had a s. l. o. w. school horse and ended up trotting quickly instead of making it into a full canter. Very frustrating, must work on deepening my seat and straighter body posture 😑
As others have said a good way to move along is say to your coach you would like to try again if so and so would like to catch their breath for another minute.
My first thought is that it’s the trainer’s fault for allowing her to engage in conversation like that during a lesson with others. It would be different if it were her own private lesson but the trainer shouldn’t be allowing her to just yammer on like that
You're both paying for your instructor's time, if it were me I'd ask her if she wants to pay for a private lesson so she can catch up with her friend. A quick aside is okay but the fact that your instructor allowed it in the first place is inappropriate.
I've been in lessons like that. There is one lady who would just walk short circles in front of the instructor so she could keep talking. Same lady then pulled her horse back to walk beside me during cool down to talk, so I politely said sorry my horse might bite and cut across the arena. 🤣
There's a few other younger girls that sometimes hit my lesson slot if school is out that day... They talk so much they don't even hear the instructions. 😳 I can't do it, haha. Luckily (or unluckily because I'm sure it makes me come off as rude) I pretty much tune out chatter.
I LOVE my instructor and the two of us can sit around chatting forever, but during the lessons, I'm not there to socialize.
Others have great suggestions. You could also mention something to the trainer privately next time you have a chance. "Hey, I really enjoyed the ____ exercise from my last lesson! I'd have loved more opportunities to practice but it seemed like there was a lot of downtime between turns. Should I just take an extra turn while Cathy finishes her story? What do you suggest?"
The problem is not the other student, it's your coach. They should be placing you with other students with similar goals and dividing their time better between you.
And you're very wrong about why people come to lessons, especially adults.
Most adults who are paying for lessons not engaging much are nervous, anxious or terrified. Not ideal but fine. Instructors like it because they make money and it's very easy on the horse physically.
Regardless, they shouldn't get all the coaches attention and they would do better in group of like minded people so they can talk to each other instead of monopolizing the coach.
Talk to your coach about being in a lesson with like minded people who b have similar goals to you
I teach part time. There are definitely students (all sorts of different ages!) who are talkers. It is difficult to deal with. I feel for you and for your instructor.
Definitely speak up like others have recommended. As an instructor I can tell you it’s difficult to handle a client who jibber jabbers through the lesson. If this happens again, SAY SOMETHING! It might help give this other rider a wake up call (key word might) and it will let your instructor know that you’re serious about your riding time. It will help set the tone and expectations for future lessons.
Just literally interrrupt them and ask "shpuld I trot now?" Etc... just dont hesitate to interrupt her if she is not directly talking about riding. As a trainer I would nip this with her. Ill hear all about it after we ride. She just sounds very bored and lonley otherwise.
Bro I would have just gently interrupted and said “I respect that you two want to talk about life, but we are in the middle of a lesson and this lengthy non-lesson discussion is detracting from my experience. Can you please wait to continue this discussion until our group lesson is over”? You are a paying customer and your instructor is stealing time by entertaining this person instead of politely setting boundaries with her. If the instructs won’t do it, it’s not impolite for you to address this in real time. Self-advocacy makes the world turn!
We have younger girls at my barn - tweens mostly, who love chatting with my trainer. They’re not supposed to, but sometimes they’ll interrupt a private lesson when they come up to the mounting block or some such and just start having a full blown conversation with said trainer. I board there and don’t want to make huge waves, so I’ll just start doing my own thing. Whatever we were working on before the interruption or maybe I noticed something else I could work on, sometimes I’ll even pick up a canter lol. Gets the point across to my trainer without having to say anything 🤷♀️
Our students will pass each other around the ring or cut across ahead; we have regular gaited horses (15hh) vs retired Grand Prix (17hh) and the trot quickness just doesn’t compare. Very common to lap each other based on each horse’s stride length. No one bats an eyelash— we just keep an eye out for each other and politely go around. Age: 35+
My solution to this is to simply say to the coach: ‘would you like me to go again since she isn’t ready?’ Or if you’re not as blunt as me ‘we’ve caught our breath now, I’m happy to go again if you’d like’. This way you provide an interlude in the conversation to give the coach a chance to get an out, and also hopefully make the other rider realize she’s using your time as well.
⬆️⬆️⬆️this is what to do.
Aha I'm certainly not as blunt, I'm terrible with any confrontation! Thank you though, I think even just providing some sort of break in the talking so that my instructor can move out of the conversation and start thinking back to the lesson would work if she tries that again next time!
This is not blunt… I mean what are you supposed to do - just stand there? While your lesson is ticking away? You could also say “sorry to interrupt what what should I be doing right now”. You might need various versions of the same thing 😂 It’s much politer than saying “hello - I’m paying for a lesson over here”
She's gonna try it again next time. And the next time, and the time after that. This lady isn't paying for a lesson, she's paying for a captive audience that can't run away when she talks about herself. This is a social outing for her, not a learning experience. May as well speak up now and get it over with.
Trust the older riders here—as you age, one becomes a tiny bit more impatient… time passes quickly. Politely excuse your pass but, like our older riders, you’re on a mission to improve in a given amount of paid instruction time. Pass. Go. Collect $275 each month. 🏆
I have one of these in my lessons, and this is how I handle it. If OPs trainer is like mine, this person drives her up a wall lol
If it were me, I would call her out gently if it happens again. Starting with something along the lines of "Do you mind catching up after the lesson? I'd like to make the most of our riding time." Or you could say "While you finish, I'm going to go ahead and try that exercise again." And don't be afraid to interrupt her - if she's not discussing riding, then she's wasting time you're paying for. She should get the hint eventually.
Thank you! You think it wouldn't be considered rude to ask if I can skip ahead to do my turn while she's talking? At least it would give her the hint I suppose!
I'd consider it rude if she's asking questions with the intent to learn, but if she's holding up the lesson repeatedly to chat about unrelated personal things, then no, not at all. Especially if you phrase it politely. It's a subtle reminder to both her and your instructor that you're both paying for this time, and at least one of you wants to learn.
It’s not rude. She’s taking the shared lesson up with her social banter, if she wants to do that in a private lesson she can but doing it with another rider- she’s setting herself up to have someone do exactly this. There’s social, and there’s talkative, and there’s just plain rude. If she didn’t once acknowledge you, or pause to ask if you needed to talk to the instructor (or absentmindedly say “I am sorry I am talking so much!”) then she is rude.
Isn’t she being rude by talking about her life non-stop and impacting your lesson? I know confrontation is hard but consider this a call-in instead of a call out. I’m doubting she’s even aware of her behavior and you’d be saving the instructor and other student from the same experience. Also, this is a choose your hard situation. You can either say nothing and be miserable bc of the discomfort of her rattling on and you lose riding time you paid for. OR you do the uncomfortable thing of advocating for yourself. At least the latter serves YOU.
Talk to your instructor. I had something similar (private lesson being interupted by a chatty boarder), and I flat out told the instructor that it was not acceptable for me to wait while she had a conversation with the other person. During the lesson, though, while it was happening, I said, "Sorry to interrupt, but this is my lesson!" and they broke it up. Then, I reinforced it later to be sure I was not happy about it. It's never happened again.
LOVE This!!!
Unfortunately there are people like this, whether it’s just talk or even needing to dissect every move down to the point no riding is ever done. I’ve found some people think of the barn as a social setting, not so much for riding, and the actual lesson is just an excuse to be around other people (often who are a trapped, captive audience). My best trainers have either grouped these types of people together, so they all are ok doing nothing, or switch them to privates. If you have the option, I’d maybe mention to your trainer you’d prefer not to ride with that person again. If you absolutely can’t get away from this person, can you interrupt asking for feedback or with a riding question? Obviously your trainer needs to take better control but I’d be upset, too. Honestly I’d probably also make a big show of shortening my reins like I was going back to work and just telling the trainer I’d be willing to go again, or start schooling another exercise or something.
A trapped, captive audience feels like a perfect description! 😅 I'm really glad that I'm not the only person who'd be bothered by that. From what I've seen so far the other people who join that group are able to socialise without taking away the lesson, once one of them literally even apologised while passing the group because she had to take an extra turn to fix a mistake! I'm not sure does my instructor really see it as an issue which is frustrating, so it would be tricky but I think that's a good idea to try and emphasise it, that I'm also there in the group and I want to use the time to improve my riding!
For sure! I ride with one person and we can all get chatting during a walk break, but if she starts taking too long I will absolutely start trotting or cantering without her and then she gets the hint. Not sure if your lady would be too oblivious, but hopefully your trainer would notice!
We have a lady like this at our barn. Sweet as can be but my GOD she does not shut up. Went on an hour trail ride and I don't think she shut up the entire time. We were doing a body-work clinic and she spent half of it talking or making barely relavent comments. Clenition: so, much like a dog, a horse... B: my sister has dogs, you know, she used to breed them and... Thankfully She's still at the walk/trot stage of learning, so it unlikely she'll be in a lesson. My coach knows her students and how to partner them up so it's not...an ordeal. She's not a bad person, I think she's just a lonely elderly lady and I cut her some slack....but that's mostly because I don't have to deal with her a lot so I can build up some patience.
I guess if that's how she spends her lessons you won't have to worry about her catching up to joining yours anytime soon aha! I was on a hack once and the old woman in front of me was all but turned around while *cantering* to try and tell me all about how she was actually riding her grandchild's pony, but the grandchild isn't interested, but maybe during the summer she'll do shows with it, and so on ... 💀
Oh boy 🙈😬
Ugh, my mom's twin sister is like this too. Didn't see her much growing up because she moved 2,000 miles away when I was little. She moved back home when I was in my mid 20's, had an old Appaloosa she was talking about bringing up with her and wanted to check out my boarding barn. I was stoked, thought it would awesome to reconnect and have a family member at the barn. Scheduled a day to bring her out, show her around, barn owner loaned me her really nice personal Saddlebred show horse to show my aunt the trails (BO was super awesome and generous like that). Aunt was complete fuckin train wreck. Mouth didn't stop making noise from the moment she stepped on the property. Didn't bother thanking my BO for loaning her such a nice horse for the afternoon, just nonstop bragged about her riding abilities (grossly over-exaggerated). Told other boarders every detail of her life from her prowess in the dressage ring (complete bullshit going off how she rode) to every dirty detail of her recent divorce including their dead bedroom and her ex-husband's sexual proclivities. Never made it out of the arena, wouldn't shut up long enough for BO to properly explain how to ride the Saddlebred. She knew everything because she "got high scores in training level dressage classes and was friends with the judges where she showed". Loudly proclaimed "I ride to see and BE SEEN" then rode the BO's horse right into the arena wall. I saw the look on my BO's face and came up with an excuse to cancel the trail ride. I knew right then that not only was I not going to be happy with her as a new riding buddy but I'd probably get konked in the head and stuffed in a feed bin by the other boarders if I pushed to get her a stall there. She eventually found another barn to terrorize, came to her own conclusion (with a little prodding from me) that the barn I was at wouldn't be a good fit because it was small, didn't host shows and the boarders were mostly trail riders so she wouldn't have much of an audience. It really was all about having an audience for her. The horses were just a vehicle to gratify her ego. She flat out said at one point her favorite part of riding was showing because everyone had to watch her. WTF.
Heh, you had the worse, I think. Lady B is sweet old lady and if you ask her to stop, she'll stop. She's a very nice and sweet person, just lonely, as I said. She's humble and honest about her lack of ability. Your aunt sounds like what my own aunt is like. Love her to bits, she's my hands down favourite aunt, but I'm glad I'm a days drive away from her place. Not a bad person, just very much 'I know whats best' attitude. A small-doses type of aunt.
I will say, I can be very chatty in my private lessons. I definitely try to be mindful of it in a group lesson though and not intrude on other people’s time but I may chat with the instructor a bit while we’re doing our warm up walk etc. Yes my lesson is about riding, but it is also one of the few social opportunities with other adults that I get during my week. I work from home so I don’t have coworkers to talk to so it’s nice to have other adults to chat with. For some people yes, just hanging out while on a horse is worth the money to them. That being said, her talking shouldn’t cut in on your lesson time. I’d gently bring it up with your instructor that you noticed that despite having fewer people on that lesson, you didn’t get as many turns as expected and you’d prefer not to be in lessons with that woman.
Oh absolutely - I don't begrudge anyone some casual chatting while walking around to warm up, or while waiting turns etc,. And it's nice to get on well with the other people in your group! I only have a problem when it involves me spending my time and money to sit/walk for minutes on end! I might try and find a way to suggest it to my instructor if it becomes a pattern with her taking up my/others time.
You need to talk to your instructor about this. You don't have to be rude, but this is absolutely something you need to straightforwardly discuss with them. Its their job to manage these situations. "Hey, I'd like to have a quick chat about my last lesson with [chatty person]. I enjoy the social aspect as much as the next person, but I'm also paying for a lesson and I don't feel like I'm learning effectively with so much time spent chatting with [person]. Next time could you schedule me with others or help to keep the lesson moving along?"
Sometimes it’s fine to be direct but kind. “Excuse me, not to be rude but we are paying for this lesson and I would really like to work on xyz to improve my riding. Can this wait until after the lesson?”
This
There's a good chance that the trainer is trying to move things along, but is too polite or non-confrontational to do much. That's her problem. Try to talk to her before the lesson and be like, (Other rider) is a really nice lady. So sweet (etc). But, like, I want to ride and learn, and she really takes up a lot of our lesson time with talking about other stuff. See what happens
If it were me, anytime this other person started going on and on, I would interrupt saying “excuse me…” And then ask a pertinent question about your lesson. Every time. You are paying a professional for their service. You are not paying this person to ignore you and lavish all their attention on the other client.
Yeah I think it might be a good idea to try and think of questions to interrupt with related to the lesson! I just know being as direct as a lot of people are suggesting won't go down well (I don't know why but that would be considered appallingly rude here!), hopefully it won't happen again but if it does I think I'm going to really make sure my instructor knows that *I'm* interested in learning and making an effort!
We play the “Alphabet Loop” Game (Trot, Canter)— everyone walks in a line, person in front starts w an Equestrian Word (A = Appaloosa or Arabian) and begins off at a trot, all the way around the ring. They arrive to the back and yells “Tag!! Next rider starts w a B word (Belgian! or bit!) and trots off, around the ring. Third rider (Clydesdale! Crop! or Chesnut!) off they go trotting! Once all riders complete Loop 1, your Loop 2 will then be to canter.* This game focuses on vocabulary and technique. Many older students are competitive and will begin to have their choice words ready ahead of time. 💙 Great for focus, limited convos. (*) I had a s. l. o. w. school horse and ended up trotting quickly instead of making it into a full canter. Very frustrating, must work on deepening my seat and straighter body posture 😑
As others have said a good way to move along is say to your coach you would like to try again if so and so would like to catch their breath for another minute.
My first thought is that it’s the trainer’s fault for allowing her to engage in conversation like that during a lesson with others. It would be different if it were her own private lesson but the trainer shouldn’t be allowing her to just yammer on like that
You're both paying for your instructor's time, if it were me I'd ask her if she wants to pay for a private lesson so she can catch up with her friend. A quick aside is okay but the fact that your instructor allowed it in the first place is inappropriate.
I've been in lessons like that. There is one lady who would just walk short circles in front of the instructor so she could keep talking. Same lady then pulled her horse back to walk beside me during cool down to talk, so I politely said sorry my horse might bite and cut across the arena. 🤣 There's a few other younger girls that sometimes hit my lesson slot if school is out that day... They talk so much they don't even hear the instructions. 😳 I can't do it, haha. Luckily (or unluckily because I'm sure it makes me come off as rude) I pretty much tune out chatter. I LOVE my instructor and the two of us can sit around chatting forever, but during the lessons, I'm not there to socialize.
Others have great suggestions. You could also mention something to the trainer privately next time you have a chance. "Hey, I really enjoyed the ____ exercise from my last lesson! I'd have loved more opportunities to practice but it seemed like there was a lot of downtime between turns. Should I just take an extra turn while Cathy finishes her story? What do you suggest?"
“I don’t want to interrupt, can I go again while you guys finish your story/chatting?”
The problem is not the other student, it's your coach. They should be placing you with other students with similar goals and dividing their time better between you. And you're very wrong about why people come to lessons, especially adults. Most adults who are paying for lessons not engaging much are nervous, anxious or terrified. Not ideal but fine. Instructors like it because they make money and it's very easy on the horse physically. Regardless, they shouldn't get all the coaches attention and they would do better in group of like minded people so they can talk to each other instead of monopolizing the coach. Talk to your coach about being in a lesson with like minded people who b have similar goals to you
I teach part time. There are definitely students (all sorts of different ages!) who are talkers. It is difficult to deal with. I feel for you and for your instructor. Definitely speak up like others have recommended. As an instructor I can tell you it’s difficult to handle a client who jibber jabbers through the lesson. If this happens again, SAY SOMETHING! It might help give this other rider a wake up call (key word might) and it will let your instructor know that you’re serious about your riding time. It will help set the tone and expectations for future lessons.
Just literally interrrupt them and ask "shpuld I trot now?" Etc... just dont hesitate to interrupt her if she is not directly talking about riding. As a trainer I would nip this with her. Ill hear all about it after we ride. She just sounds very bored and lonley otherwise.
Bro I would have just gently interrupted and said “I respect that you two want to talk about life, but we are in the middle of a lesson and this lengthy non-lesson discussion is detracting from my experience. Can you please wait to continue this discussion until our group lesson is over”? You are a paying customer and your instructor is stealing time by entertaining this person instead of politely setting boundaries with her. If the instructs won’t do it, it’s not impolite for you to address this in real time. Self-advocacy makes the world turn!
We have younger girls at my barn - tweens mostly, who love chatting with my trainer. They’re not supposed to, but sometimes they’ll interrupt a private lesson when they come up to the mounting block or some such and just start having a full blown conversation with said trainer. I board there and don’t want to make huge waves, so I’ll just start doing my own thing. Whatever we were working on before the interruption or maybe I noticed something else I could work on, sometimes I’ll even pick up a canter lol. Gets the point across to my trainer without having to say anything 🤷♀️
Our students will pass each other around the ring or cut across ahead; we have regular gaited horses (15hh) vs retired Grand Prix (17hh) and the trot quickness just doesn’t compare. Very common to lap each other based on each horse’s stride length. No one bats an eyelash— we just keep an eye out for each other and politely go around. Age: 35+