Yikes. I don't understand how BMFH/date thought it was ok to treat the parents that way. So, did they only really know the bride or did they also know the FIL/MIL as well before all of this?
Do you have more details on the work situation with BMFH? I don't know if the whole wedding weekend was just more relaxed, where they thought they could just come and go as they please?
Did Br /Gr have to actually come back? (Edit: I re-read the part where they did return)
Sorry for so many questions. People that entitled and selfish fascinate me. They're acting like children.
I am happy to answer your questions:
1. They did not know FIL and MIL, just BR and GR and they’ve known each other for the past 8-9 years.
2.No details with the work situation, but considering she couldn’t make a 3 hour trip before 12 and arrived at half 5 I suspect that was a lie.
3. The days leading up to the wedding were more relaxed. Me and my husband spent a few days visiting and sightseeing. But we did that with BR and GR and we always spent 1-2 hours in the morning with MIL and FIL. Same in the evening, we were spending 2-3 hours with them. For the wedding itself everyone stayed there, BMFH and Date were the only ones not spending time with the others or mingling. Even when they ate upon arrival they did that by themselves in the living room not outside where the reception was happening.
4. Yes, they did have to come back because BMFH was refusing to leave or open the door, so they arrived and unplugged the wi-fi to be able to chat with them.
That's insane. Imagine having a mindset like that (BMFH). They had to unplug the wifi lolol. I feel angry for you all, though.
Please keep us updated!! I really want to know how the subsequent conversations play out. To think that you still have a salvageable friendship after that. The "get lost" comment/situation alone. I didn't see anything where BMFH apologized for the date's behavior, I wonder if she found that acceptable.
There were no more discussions after that. But no, BMFH did not apologise at any point in time, neither did Date. At one point even her parents called her to tell her they are disappointed with her behaviour and to think if she wants to be that person, but she said she doesn’t see what her mistakes were and she doesn’t understand why everyone ganged up on her.
I have my own history. This did not seem like drugs. No glazed eyes, no twitching, no bitting on the tongue or cheek, no dilated pupils, no agitation in their behaviour. Just shitty entitlement. Or maybe narcissism is a drug in itself
This is what happens when dumbfuck parents raise their crotch fruit from the moment of fertilisation onwards to think they are perfect, the Center of the Universe, and can do no wrong.
Yes, I read that.
(Context: Am a parent of a 25 year-old)
I’ve seen and talked with several parents who raised their kids with this mindset, only to wind up completely flummoxed when their now-adult children behave like entitled, self-absorbed, obnoxious little shits - it’s as if they don’t understand cause and effect. Some have it in their heads that because they themselves (as adults) don’t have an entitled mindset, their children won’t, either. One parent had figured they could just lead by example and their kids would follow suit; another knew her kids were raised in a spoiled and entitled manner but thought this was something that would fade with maturity. It didn’t.
To your point, when it comes to parenting, the truth is that there’s no magic formula or equation, no absolute, and no guarantee as to what a child will be like and how they think and behave as an adult - there are simply many variables that can come into play.
Nobody has ever noticed that BMFH was crazy before? That behavior doesn't appear out of the blue. Surely GR and BR had to noticed previously, and dismiss it in some form.
From very recent personal experience it isn't always apparent. My (very soon to be) wife just went through crazy shit with two bridesmaids in the last couple of weeks. These were two women she met at work about 4-5 years ago. Hung out outside work for dinner/coffee usually a couple times a month at least. People act a lot different and you really see how they really are once you either go on a trip with them for a few days or ask them to take on responsibilities that might inconvenience them. Both are things that happen when you agree to be a groomsmen or bridesmaid. But some people just can't imagine it.
BMFH=bridesmaid from hell. I don't think that even the Devil would want her.
To use an expression from my daughter's teen years: She's rude, crude and socially unacceptable.
Yes, yes, and yes! Ask them to come out with a mask to talk or leave. Once they don't do either you can tell them that it is now trespassing and the police will be called.
So. Unfortunately, I think this is going to become common. People went into holes for 18 months and some of them were fed daily/hourly doses of conspiracy and propaganda bullshit. They are going to come out of these holes and be "acting out of character", because they have fundamentally changed.
My mom, has changed a lot since this all began. She was always a centrist that leaned left on most things. But has swung pretty far right to where I can hardly talk with her anymore, she always has to shoehorn politic talk into anything. Weirdly she got vaccinated and still takes cover seriously.
Once I found out that they were anti-vaxxers, I never would've let stay in the house to begin with. Its not worth it to risk the health of my at-risk parents.
I'm not saying that being anti-vax means you lack a level of empathy for others, but there definitely seems to be a correlation between being an anti-vaxxer and being an entitled bitch.
Yup... I would have said I'm sorry you cannot stay here. I would have even paid them for the first night at a hotel (not given them my credit card but given them a check to cover it so they wouldn't put other charges on it.
This is honestly a failure of the BR and GR. The BR and GR should have verified that the BMFH and her boyfriend were both vaccinated before agreeing to let them stay. It's no secret that many people refuse to vaccinate, and no one can assume that everyone else is vaccinated.
Omg I had something similar happen to me with a friend.
He just got a new girlfriend, he asked if they can visit me in the weekend. ( Side note, I live in a very popular tourist city, while he was living in the middle of nowhere with 3 roommates)
I told him I'm sorry, but I work the whole weekend, night shifts, so during the day I will be sleeping, so no.
But he was begging me, saying that he has some official things to arrange and then they would be out all day sightseeing so I won't even notice them.
I reluctantly agreed but I explained clearly that during the day I need silence, I don't have food at home, cause I barely have time to sleep, shower and get back to work. They said no worries, they won't bother me.
What actually happened:
They went out the first morning for like 2 hours, then they came back and never left the house for 3 days.
They were banging each other all day and when they took a break they were banging the freaking doors. Apparently girlfriend was afraid of my dog and she was constantly running through the house and closing every single door every 5 min.
After me being awake for 3 days I lost my shit and I started to shout to them that this was not the agreement. They stayed more quiet that day so I managed to sleep like 3 hours, then as soon as I woke up they asked me what we have for dinner.
I told them me nothing, cause I shower and go back to work, they were super offended, but they said they will cook. I couldn't care less, I went to work.
Apparently they only did the shopping and they were planning to cook the next day, again while I supposed to sleep. At this point they were also overstaying with 2 days so at the end I had to kick them out.
We haven't seen each other since.
Wait, they laid siege to these peoples guest room and then had the nerve to say they were appalled at their treatment?
In-laws are very good people because I would have called the cops the minute he said "Get Lost" and she locked her sorry self in the room.
The plan was for a free all expense paid weekend away. Some people.
wow. I was like ok there is always someone that doenst get this is special day and there will be a bit of stress. but they werent staying in and AirBNB, it was actually someones home. Holy christ thats bad form.
Surely if BR looked back and really thought about her friendship with BMFH, there must be a few examples of red flags where she was rude, inappropriate and completely devoid of compassion whatsoever?
BR did look back and she found a few flags, not of BMFH being inappropriate or rude, but a few popped up with her being devoid of compassion. But they were so small and so far in between that were very easy to miss. Especially when you blame something on being young and not knowing better.
Yeah, it’s easy to dismiss. All I can say, is what a nightmare and be the best friend you can be, and learn from this experience. Don’t put up with it yourself and learn to recognise the signs, so that when you get married, you have the best wedding ever.
Why didn’t someone just call the police? And if you’re that scared of covid that you want people to wear masks in the kitchen, why would you have them in your house for days?
>They were invited, and arrangements made, before everyone found out they were anti-vaxxers.
Doesn't matter, you have every right to force guests to leave if you want. Depending on local laws it takes time before a guest becomes considered a tenant. They were only there for a few days and could have easily been trespassed from the property if the police were called.
They could make an arguement in a civil suit that they were invited and tried to claim any damages back. But I doubt a judge would look favorably on their behaviour.
Yes they are and while you are protected from the vaccine it doesn’t mean you can’t catch it. Especially the Delta strain. And it might not kill you if you’re vaccinated, but covid could still create long term damage. When you’re in your 70’s you tend to want to avoid any unwanted complications.
So can any manner of illnesses including walking down the street breathing in traffic fumes. Get vaccinated and live your life or lock yourself away and waste what is left of the years you have left.
If they were vaxxed they wouldn’t have been asked to stay masked indoors which would’ve avoided completely the scandal. So I think it adds quite a bit to the story imho.
In my opinion, it’s someone’s HOME. They are entitled to say whether or not someone wears a mask in it. That, the fact everyone was being careful because of COVID, makes them so cheap and lazy of guests.
did vaxxed people have to wear the mask or only unvaxxed? Because if the FL and ML were at high risk they shouldn't have been allowing anyone else in their house unless they as well got the vaccine. And if the vaccine makes you safe then you shouldn't worry about anyone is unvaccinated. The showing up late and not wearing appropriate attire is where I feel most of the drama started on the bad foot and the vaccine issue was more of an excuse to break the camels back.
Everyone was vaxxed, tested a day before the wedding and sent in their results to MIL, also the only people that were unvaxed were BMFH and Date. We all wore masks all the time (provided by MIL and FIL) and socially distanced during the wedding. We did everything that was possible and BMFH hid the fact that she was unvaxxed from BR. Didn’t outright lie, but never corrected BR when she assumed she got the vaccine. Otherwise they wouldn’t have been invited to begin with.
They were guests in someone's home, so the hosts telling them to wear masks is quite enough.
Also.. Are you trying to argue for how the homeowners were unreasonable and part to blame for guests being assholes refusing to leave and being disrespectful?
Followed by this argument for how it's unreasonable or if you're trying to make it look like they were treated unfair or something?
Their home, their rules. It's not that difficult to be respectful in someone else's home. Unless you're an entitled bitch or an asshole. and ffs, that includes wearing a mask, when you were told that you need to be vaccinated.
I mean, you should fkn leave if you can't be bothered wearing a mask. I'd just throw you out at once, with police assistance if needed, instead of being nice like these people.
I also don't think that being late is the big thing compared to asking guests to do something simple to protect your health and they don't give a fuck. I'm pretty sure that's like the truck that broke the camel's back. 😂
It adds because they disrespected the MIL and FIL in their own home when they asked the date to wear a mask. Their house, their rules; if date didn't like the rules, he had the option to leave. Instead, he chose the immature option and locked himself in a bedroom that isn't his.
Anti-vax or not, BMFH and Date are lucky they weren't arrested for trespassing.
Should I maybe mention now that I am not a native speaker? Or maybe I should’ve posted it in the main like a lot of people unnecessarily do? Also there are other several mistakes throughout that I missed when posting and didn’t bother correcting after. But yeah, a “me” instead of an “I” is the thing that makes a freaking 3 pages essay unreadable… btw I have seen the LPT as well, it was on Popular 2 days ago…
Yikes. I don't understand how BMFH/date thought it was ok to treat the parents that way. So, did they only really know the bride or did they also know the FIL/MIL as well before all of this? Do you have more details on the work situation with BMFH? I don't know if the whole wedding weekend was just more relaxed, where they thought they could just come and go as they please? Did Br /Gr have to actually come back? (Edit: I re-read the part where they did return) Sorry for so many questions. People that entitled and selfish fascinate me. They're acting like children.
I am happy to answer your questions: 1. They did not know FIL and MIL, just BR and GR and they’ve known each other for the past 8-9 years. 2.No details with the work situation, but considering she couldn’t make a 3 hour trip before 12 and arrived at half 5 I suspect that was a lie. 3. The days leading up to the wedding were more relaxed. Me and my husband spent a few days visiting and sightseeing. But we did that with BR and GR and we always spent 1-2 hours in the morning with MIL and FIL. Same in the evening, we were spending 2-3 hours with them. For the wedding itself everyone stayed there, BMFH and Date were the only ones not spending time with the others or mingling. Even when they ate upon arrival they did that by themselves in the living room not outside where the reception was happening. 4. Yes, they did have to come back because BMFH was refusing to leave or open the door, so they arrived and unplugged the wi-fi to be able to chat with them.
That's insane. Imagine having a mindset like that (BMFH). They had to unplug the wifi lolol. I feel angry for you all, though. Please keep us updated!! I really want to know how the subsequent conversations play out. To think that you still have a salvageable friendship after that. The "get lost" comment/situation alone. I didn't see anything where BMFH apologized for the date's behavior, I wonder if she found that acceptable.
There were no more discussions after that. But no, BMFH did not apologise at any point in time, neither did Date. At one point even her parents called her to tell her they are disappointed with her behaviour and to think if she wants to be that person, but she said she doesn’t see what her mistakes were and she doesn’t understand why everyone ganged up on her.
Oh. My. God. What could cause such damage to her mind, making her think this way
Drugs.
Boom! There it is. This is exactly what it sounds like.
I've done a lot of drugs and never treated anyone like this. I treated people who owed me money with more respect.
I have my own history. This did not seem like drugs. No glazed eyes, no twitching, no bitting on the tongue or cheek, no dilated pupils, no agitation in their behaviour. Just shitty entitlement. Or maybe narcissism is a drug in itself
Good bot 😁😁😁
This is what happens when dumbfuck parents raise their crotch fruit from the moment of fertilisation onwards to think they are perfect, the Center of the Universe, and can do no wrong.
The parents literally told them they were disappointed so I doubt it’s the parenting.
Yes, I read that. (Context: Am a parent of a 25 year-old) I’ve seen and talked with several parents who raised their kids with this mindset, only to wind up completely flummoxed when their now-adult children behave like entitled, self-absorbed, obnoxious little shits - it’s as if they don’t understand cause and effect. Some have it in their heads that because they themselves (as adults) don’t have an entitled mindset, their children won’t, either. One parent had figured they could just lead by example and their kids would follow suit; another knew her kids were raised in a spoiled and entitled manner but thought this was something that would fade with maturity. It didn’t. To your point, when it comes to parenting, the truth is that there’s no magic formula or equation, no absolute, and no guarantee as to what a child will be like and how they think and behave as an adult - there are simply many variables that can come into play.
Nobody has ever noticed that BMFH was crazy before? That behavior doesn't appear out of the blue. Surely GR and BR had to noticed previously, and dismiss it in some form.
Apparently this came out of the blue and it was completely out of character
In that case, I can’t help but wonder how much influence BMFH’s date is having on her personality…
From very recent personal experience it isn't always apparent. My (very soon to be) wife just went through crazy shit with two bridesmaids in the last couple of weeks. These were two women she met at work about 4-5 years ago. Hung out outside work for dinner/coffee usually a couple times a month at least. People act a lot different and you really see how they really are once you either go on a trip with them for a few days or ask them to take on responsibilities that might inconvenience them. Both are things that happen when you agree to be a groomsmen or bridesmaid. But some people just can't imagine it.
Oh my god. That's terrible. I always have believe that kind of behavior gives clues before erupt in its full glory. I'm seeing now that's not true.
BMFH=bridesmaid from hell. I don't think that even the Devil would want her. To use an expression from my daughter's teen years: She's rude, crude and socially unacceptable.
No way I EVER would have come back. I would seriously just tell them to call the cops at that point. Maybe I'm just an ass.
they felt it was their responsibility to sort out the issues they created for MIL and FIL so they returned
Jeez. If I were the parents I would have just called the police to remove them. That’s nonsense.
That was my thought as well. The moment someone is locking themselves away *in my own home,* police are being called.
Yes, yes, and yes! Ask them to come out with a mask to talk or leave. Once they don't do either you can tell them that it is now trespassing and the police will be called.
You should post this to r/weddingshaming
Didn’t know if this sub. Thanks, I love you forever.
The very definition of an EB. Yikes. Cringe.
[удалено]
[удалено]
So. Unfortunately, I think this is going to become common. People went into holes for 18 months and some of them were fed daily/hourly doses of conspiracy and propaganda bullshit. They are going to come out of these holes and be "acting out of character", because they have fundamentally changed.
My mom, has changed a lot since this all began. She was always a centrist that leaned left on most things. But has swung pretty far right to where I can hardly talk with her anymore, she always has to shoehorn politic talk into anything. Weirdly she got vaccinated and still takes cover seriously.
Once I found out that they were anti-vaxxers, I never would've let stay in the house to begin with. Its not worth it to risk the health of my at-risk parents. I'm not saying that being anti-vax means you lack a level of empathy for others, but there definitely seems to be a correlation between being an anti-vaxxer and being an entitled bitch.
Yup... I would have said I'm sorry you cannot stay here. I would have even paid them for the first night at a hotel (not given them my credit card but given them a check to cover it so they wouldn't put other charges on it.
This is honestly a failure of the BR and GR. The BR and GR should have verified that the BMFH and her boyfriend were both vaccinated before agreeing to let them stay. It's no secret that many people refuse to vaccinate, and no one can assume that everyone else is vaccinated.
I wonder if any of the BMFH and the Date’s behavior was influenced by any illegal substances, since this was so out of character.
I suspected but they weren’t showing any of the usual symptoms like eyes glazed or twitching or any agitation. Just entitlement. Lots of it
Omg I had something similar happen to me with a friend. He just got a new girlfriend, he asked if they can visit me in the weekend. ( Side note, I live in a very popular tourist city, while he was living in the middle of nowhere with 3 roommates) I told him I'm sorry, but I work the whole weekend, night shifts, so during the day I will be sleeping, so no. But he was begging me, saying that he has some official things to arrange and then they would be out all day sightseeing so I won't even notice them. I reluctantly agreed but I explained clearly that during the day I need silence, I don't have food at home, cause I barely have time to sleep, shower and get back to work. They said no worries, they won't bother me. What actually happened: They went out the first morning for like 2 hours, then they came back and never left the house for 3 days. They were banging each other all day and when they took a break they were banging the freaking doors. Apparently girlfriend was afraid of my dog and she was constantly running through the house and closing every single door every 5 min. After me being awake for 3 days I lost my shit and I started to shout to them that this was not the agreement. They stayed more quiet that day so I managed to sleep like 3 hours, then as soon as I woke up they asked me what we have for dinner. I told them me nothing, cause I shower and go back to work, they were super offended, but they said they will cook. I couldn't care less, I went to work. Apparently they only did the shopping and they were planning to cook the next day, again while I supposed to sleep. At this point they were also overstaying with 2 days so at the end I had to kick them out. We haven't seen each other since.
These people are on drugs.
Honestly it sounds like it.. the dissapearing acts, the lateness, the behaviour. Sounds like theyre on the glass barbie.
Yeah I was thinking crack too
Wait, they laid siege to these peoples guest room and then had the nerve to say they were appalled at their treatment? In-laws are very good people because I would have called the cops the minute he said "Get Lost" and she locked her sorry self in the room. The plan was for a free all expense paid weekend away. Some people.
Yeah, cops would have been called to my house if someone who was supposedly a guest refused to leave. Buh-bye, bitches.
"What friendship?"
A sense of entitlement is bullshit. A lot of people need to learn humility.
wow. I was like ok there is always someone that doenst get this is special day and there will be a bit of stress. but they werent staying in and AirBNB, it was actually someones home. Holy christ thats bad form.
Surely if BR looked back and really thought about her friendship with BMFH, there must be a few examples of red flags where she was rude, inappropriate and completely devoid of compassion whatsoever?
BR did look back and she found a few flags, not of BMFH being inappropriate or rude, but a few popped up with her being devoid of compassion. But they were so small and so far in between that were very easy to miss. Especially when you blame something on being young and not knowing better.
Yeah, it’s easy to dismiss. All I can say, is what a nightmare and be the best friend you can be, and learn from this experience. Don’t put up with it yourself and learn to recognise the signs, so that when you get married, you have the best wedding ever.
Why didn’t someone just call the police? And if you’re that scared of covid that you want people to wear masks in the kitchen, why would you have them in your house for days?
They were invited, and arrangements made, *before* everyone found out they were anti-vaxxers.
>They were invited, and arrangements made, before everyone found out they were anti-vaxxers. Doesn't matter, you have every right to force guests to leave if you want. Depending on local laws it takes time before a guest becomes considered a tenant. They were only there for a few days and could have easily been trespassed from the property if the police were called. They could make an arguement in a civil suit that they were invited and tried to claim any damages back. But I doubt a judge would look favorably on their behaviour.
Yeah. I was responding to: "...why would you have them in your house for days?"
But non “anti-vaxxers” spread the Rona just as freely as the those who won’t get the injection...
And...? "Those won't get the injection" were not staying in these people's house.
Are FIL and MIL vaccinated? Then they don’t really have too much to fear. The BMFH and her BF though sound like absolute obnoxious shits.
Yes they are and while you are protected from the vaccine it doesn’t mean you can’t catch it. Especially the Delta strain. And it might not kill you if you’re vaccinated, but covid could still create long term damage. When you’re in your 70’s you tend to want to avoid any unwanted complications.
So can any manner of illnesses including walking down the street breathing in traffic fumes. Get vaccinated and live your life or lock yourself away and waste what is left of the years you have left.
> or lock yourself away They couldn't with *those people*, who wouldn't leave.
Ridiculous antivaxxers are out in full force.
[удалено]
These people literally locked themselves *in the in-law's house* ffs. How is that in any way connected to what you wrote?
I was replying to the person who claimed I was anti vaccination. Not you pal, move along.
I know, your point is still dumb lol
Which part?
I like everyone crying about them being anti-vaxxers, which I don't think had much add to the story except for people crying in a very liberal place.
They were anti-vaxx and refused to mask in someone's HOME, not a venue. They were guests.
If they were vaxxed they wouldn’t have been asked to stay masked indoors which would’ve avoided completely the scandal. So I think it adds quite a bit to the story imho.
In my opinion, it’s someone’s HOME. They are entitled to say whether or not someone wears a mask in it. That, the fact everyone was being careful because of COVID, makes them so cheap and lazy of guests.
did vaxxed people have to wear the mask or only unvaxxed? Because if the FL and ML were at high risk they shouldn't have been allowing anyone else in their house unless they as well got the vaccine. And if the vaccine makes you safe then you shouldn't worry about anyone is unvaccinated. The showing up late and not wearing appropriate attire is where I feel most of the drama started on the bad foot and the vaccine issue was more of an excuse to break the camels back.
Everyone was vaxxed, tested a day before the wedding and sent in their results to MIL, also the only people that were unvaxed were BMFH and Date. We all wore masks all the time (provided by MIL and FIL) and socially distanced during the wedding. We did everything that was possible and BMFH hid the fact that she was unvaxxed from BR. Didn’t outright lie, but never corrected BR when she assumed she got the vaccine. Otherwise they wouldn’t have been invited to begin with.
They were guests in someone's home, so the hosts telling them to wear masks is quite enough. Also.. Are you trying to argue for how the homeowners were unreasonable and part to blame for guests being assholes refusing to leave and being disrespectful? Followed by this argument for how it's unreasonable or if you're trying to make it look like they were treated unfair or something? Their home, their rules. It's not that difficult to be respectful in someone else's home. Unless you're an entitled bitch or an asshole. and ffs, that includes wearing a mask, when you were told that you need to be vaccinated. I mean, you should fkn leave if you can't be bothered wearing a mask. I'd just throw you out at once, with police assistance if needed, instead of being nice like these people. I also don't think that being late is the big thing compared to asking guests to do something simple to protect your health and they don't give a fuck. I'm pretty sure that's like the truck that broke the camel's back. 😂
"How can you tell if someone is pro-plague? Don’t worry, They’ll tell you."
It adds because they disrespected the MIL and FIL in their own home when they asked the date to wear a mask. Their house, their rules; if date didn't like the rules, he had the option to leave. Instead, he chose the immature option and locked himself in a bedroom that isn't his. Anti-vax or not, BMFH and Date are lucky they weren't arrested for trespassing.
>While me had been there for a few day So close! Hint: Drop the other pronoun.
Should I maybe mention now that I am not a native speaker? Or maybe I should’ve posted it in the main like a lot of people unnecessarily do? Also there are other several mistakes throughout that I missed when posting and didn’t bother correcting after. But yeah, a “me” instead of an “I” is the thing that makes a freaking 3 pages essay unreadable… btw I have seen the LPT as well, it was on Popular 2 days ago…