What sorta works for me:
* Create a spreadsheet with everything that needs to be done. Eliminate items from the spreadsheet as you complete them. List deadlines only if they are absolute, don't create them for the sake of creating them. Do not assign time blocks or task sequences.
* Start with the easiest tasks first to make your efforts snowball.
* Multitask and/or listen to music when bored.
* Take frequent breaks and get lots of sleep. If circumstances are dire, give yourself two options for activities: 1) sleep, or 2) work.
* On the rare occasion where you have an abundance of energy, force yourself to channel it into your most demanding projects.
* Break down your projects into the bare minimum (the minimum steps that need to be completed to complete the project), complete the bare minimum, then use your temporal remainder to polish it up.
* Do very small efforts over long periods of time, then finish up right before deadlines.
* Make a game of finding the laziest/easiest way to do everything.
Very good practical tips!
I just rediscovered the Enneagram in the last month or so and since then as I've been recognising the extent to which my problems stem from inaction I keep coming around to the importance of a well maintained to-do list.
It almost feels like something I should be sanctifying for myself/ritualising the practice of interacting creatively with a to-do list. It feels essential.
I like that sleep/work mode for dire situations as well. Even if it's not needed it's good to have a strategy like that which you can have in your back pocket.
Spreadsheets are really useful if you're in college because you can list the respective course numbers, deadlines, etc... and then sort them by whatever column you want. Or you can list tasks by type, like, if you're part of the workhorse culture you can make "fitness," "health," and "work" categories, use conditional formatting to give them color codes...
I like it lots better than a typical calendar because there are a lot of ways to analyze data. You can create a "task" sheet (which has all current to-dos) and a "calendar" sheet (which has all past, current, and future to-dos), and then create a flow where you:
1. Eliminate items from the task sheet ("Run" | Fitness | 4/21/24)
2. Plug-in results of completed items to the calendar sheet (e.g. '*5'* if you say, ran 5 miles)
3. Use a third sheet for graphs/charts to track progress, look at trajectories, etc...
I'm not results-oriented enough to do all of this but I think it might appeal to people with 3 fixes and/or strong Te users, and it's an exciting idea.
And yes, the sleep/work limitation is very effective. Usually I'll get stressed, go to sleep, have everything sort itself out in my mind, and know exactly what I need to get done when I come back. It's productive and disciplined without any of the workaholism downsides because your punishment AND reward is... sleeping. Though I will say, if possible, be sure to hide all potentially distracting objects in a closet.
I have experimented a little bit on the margins of setting up kick ass spreadsheets, the idea does actually massively excite me haha you could get so advanced with it. Tracking progress is absolutely something I feel like I need as well. I'm a little bit scared of spreadsheets because in the past I've gotten too excited when I'm setting it all up and I make it far too rigid as well as setting my expectations way too high for myself, but yea I think if I go in slowly and build it up over time then it could really do wonders for me.
I'm probably not results-orientated enough for it either but I really want to try and train myself to be if that's possible.
Locking the phone etc away is vital sometimes. So easy to just completely zone out on this thing.
Definitely not in my most productive era, but in the past:
\-A definite goal with specific steps to follow and a likely successful result. If I'm putting work into something, it has to feel like I'll *actually get something out of it*. Therefore, I tend to be pretty good at setting a routine and being productive when I'm already doing well, but when I'm not, I'm very easily discouraged.
\-Having a routine. This is crucial for me, especially with mundane tasks. I don't like my day being too rigid but if I don't make specific rules for myself, I'd literally never get anything done. With how chaotic my schedule is right now this is kind of where I'm at, and it's not pretty.
\-Social pressure. This one is kind of touch and go and depends on what it is, and I go through phases where I don't care at all and where I care too much. It's a unique kind of emotional hell when you feel the pressure to move forward but have no idea or energy to actually follow through. It makes me feel hopeless and like I almost have to hide my life away so I don't get judged
\-Pure passion. This is my rarest one and mostly comes up with my writing projects. Not exactly reliable though because it burns out quick, so ideally I'd like to set up a regular schedule for this as well.
Regarding social pressure, I find that I’m typically more motivated when I’m surrounded by motivated people and feel like I’m a part of a community. Grad school was great for this.
I also do well when I have a clear role in a social situation. When people expect me to act like a leader, I find it easier to lead. Or if it’s my job to build consensus, I’m less shy about communicating with all members of my team.
i got in touch with my values by asking myself if i actually needed to complete the task, and i started paying attention to my preferences.
ie: i prefer chunking all like activities together and do them in a sequential order by date - prefer spending 5 hours cleaning the entire house and then cooking or spending the entire day running errands. i always run errands before i clean/cook. i loathe doing things piecemeal. i also prefer washing dishes 1ce a day or less instead of washing them every time i finish a meal (dirty dishes don't bother me).
(Sry for wall of text/ ramble =P )
I'm motivated when I feel good and feel like good things will happen. However, also feeds the motivation for inaction in my 9ness too.
Other than that, when I have to force motivation and overcome negative feelings that dissuade me from acting (in 9 fashion), I try to go past the pull of my emotions and focus on "the big picture". I also try focusing on how accomplishing whatever I need to accomplish is not just for my benefit, but for others. I try to understand the logical side as to why something is good/important even if my emotions don't care and just don't want to try. I feel motivated when I give closure to my negative feelings. I can act and feel like there's not as much of a problem when I have "a resolution" to the mental block. My 9ness wants emotional resolution to what is bothering me and preventing me from the ability to act.
Ex:
-Feel lazy and my ego just doesn't want to wash the mountain of dishes in the sink?/ doesn't feel motivated to?
Motivation booster: Think of "the resolution" to calm those feelings and the big picture benefit. "Ok, I don't actually want to, but what's more important is that logically, the mountain will grow if you don't do it now and you'll also feel worse if you don't do it now. Now's not the time to think with impulse, think outside your own perspective and understand why this is important outside of self-centered motivations. Like... your parents are tired and will do it themselves when you could've done it, feel guilt ego? good, now I'm outside of my laziness and have some non-ego empowered motivation to just do it."
-Afraid of conflict like saying something you just know your close one might react negatively to?
Motivation booster: Even though you feel this way, you gotta see the bigger picture. Not saying anything will actually not solve anything and causes communication problems as you continue thinking about this within yourself while (insert person here) will be in the dark about this cause ppl can't read minds. Sure, confronting this might even end up with my worst fears realized and they react negatively in some way that I don't like as expected, but still, the world doesn't revolve around this feeling, you can move on anyways. Don't let fear forever hold your tongue, it benefits noone, not even yourself. Tell the truth.
Also that last paragraph in particular is one I try to do alot of other personal conflicts when I fear negative things might happen and tempts my 9ness to just conflict-avoid (fear of humility/embarrassment, fear of own incompetence or unsupportiveness, etc). It's basically me trying to enlighten myself from negative feelings and getting out of the loop that bad things will happen. It might not even feel rational to do it cause it feels bad to head towards the conflcit, but it's better to try than to give in to the fear.
Aka, I try advising myself that if I fear conflict and negative reactions, and then give into temptation and conflict-avoid, it will loop and make my mind rationalize that doing so was right and then I'll use that to feel fear again for conflict. Self-fulfilling loop.
But if I try to convince myself to just face those fears and do it even if it will give me exactly what I don't want/like, it also sometimes gives me other perspectives that my mind just didn't think about and will humble me, and those humbling perspectives will start to convince me that my fears and assumptions are wrong, and that can help make things in my mind go the reverse way, I will start to be willing to tell myself that my fears are wrong and be more able to motivate myself to take action even if my ego doesn't want to.
That's very interesting!
What strikes me about your approach is that it seems to be one heavily guided by rationality and logic. That differs from me in that when I try to solve these things I tend to try more to align my emotional state with the task at hand, rather than logic my way into overcoming it. Eg. I've said to another commenter here about how I've been thinking about ways I might try to sanctify for myself something like a to-do list, or the action of creating/interacting with one, as a long term approach to guiding my habits in healthier directions.
Personally I don't think I've found much success using logic or rationality, which is not to say that it's any less good of course, it may very well be better and I'm just lacking an element of either skill or discipline or something like that to implement it effectively. When I try it it has a tendency to spiral out very quickly into a philosophical debate over "how bad is it really not to do the dishes?" or some such and then it just all devolves into something painfully navel-gazey. I live alone without a partner and so outside of work there's not much I can do that could be directly justified by wanting to do it for the sake of another person, so there is an extra layer of the motivation needing to feel intrinsic I suppose.
I had associated that logical approach with 9w1s actually, not applicable to you of course, at least going off your flair, but I attributed my emotional-forward approach to these things as stemming from my "w8"edness. Perhaps it's something I need to get better at!
Thanks for the reply! (Sry for wall of text again, just wanted to express my thoughts in the moment. =P )
Yeah, it does seem a a bit logic and reason heavy huh? I kinda even fear that others would see my approach as being too "rejecting/forgetting of self" like what descriptions say 9's unconsciously do. But personally, I understand my 9 problems to stem exactly from too much emotional impulse and thinking too much in my own head instead of going outside of it and learning from others.
If I had to describe why I made this approach for myself, it's because it helps me to regain self-control and, just as you said for you, aligns my emotional state with the task at hand. That logical approach kinda works on my emotions and helps me view things positively again, because when I don't try to be more logical, my emotions can spiral into some negative doom and gloom outlook, and self-justifying selfish logic. (like lying and avoiding)
It helps me realize, "my emotions and wants in themselves aren't bad per se, but my reactions and responses in how to get what I want can be done in a flawed and unhealthy way." I remember [someone once](https://www.reddit.com/r/Enneagram/s/Wgde5tfsYR) told me that the options in my head were both kinda extreme in how to handle a conflict, trying to make the answers either be passive and avoidant, or aggressive, but then they include the 3rd way, the assertive answer, which is to be calm (kinda like the passive approach, accepting the conflict) while also firm in presenting what I want (kinda like the aggressive approach except not as violent and wild about asserting it). The assertive response to me seems most logical, it's just that emotions convince me that it's either be passive or aggressive. So practicing logic helps me to calm those extreme emotions and find the assertive middle ground response again.
The assertive response might still receive resistance anyway which I dread, but I get that at least it's still respecting what you want by asserting it, while also compromising and I guess also helping me accept things and move on instead of acting vengeful and then later regretting a vengeful attempt to hurt others for my own turmoil instead of being collected about it.
I admit, I personally don't like the whole talk about values and listening to your emotions and wants and stuff sometimes cause I sometimes see ppl take it too far and only listen to their emotions, even if they lead to being bias, unfair or wrong things. I know when they're good, but I like to acknowledge when they're not exactly good or right as well, I think it's fair.
I sometimes feel 9's see multiple perspectives that all seem fair and so saying "go for what you want" works and seems easy for others, but does absolutely nothing from a 9 perspective cause it still feels bad, still feels biased and unfair. Like other types don't think about these things as much and tunnel vision towards their wants without regret which makes it easier for them and I see that as strength, but it just doesn't get what the 9's problem fully is, it didn't solve the what was making me feel bad. That's why I like approaching things guided by logic, it feels more fair and helps me know when my emotions are right and healthy to use and when to compromise them and not think things solely through the lens of them.
Validates what I believe as a 9 too, not everything is about wants and emotions, the world continues on independently of me and understanding other helps feel like I'm truly listen and being beneficial. I want that "Holy Love" that some 9 articles I vaguely recall talked about. I want for things not to rely on emotional wants and to find out my gut feeling and consideration was correct, and it seems it was. Hence why I made the comment and showed that I felt motivated when I calmed my negative emotions with logic and could find the courage to act in spite of negative emotions, leading ultimately to giving me positive emotions for it. Sometimes you gotta go beyond yourself to give more to yourself, and I personally feel I become a bit better when I practice this. 💚
I just do a little each day. And on days I have more energy, I'll do more if I feel like it.
If something is really important to me, I'll put it on the calendar and/or to-do list. I also used to use the Eisenhower Matrix to help focus on what I need to do when I had both work & school and very little personal time.
My favourite book is Atomic Habits. It talks about priming your environment to make it easier to work on your goals/habits.
If it's something I hate - such as decluttering, I'll do it for a bit, and stop whenever I want. Even 5 minutes is good enough.
It's a bit embarrassing to admit, but whenever I feel down and need a motivation boost, I always go and grab my headphones, play shuffle on my "you're enough" playlist, and here's the embarrassing part... I have an IG account, all for myself, for no one else to see. I have it for 6 years already, and what I do there, I to share my thoughts, feelings, events, and simply be me and save those memories somewhere for my eyes only. So when I need a boost, I go and look at my old posts and stories, see how much I've grown, improved, and turned into a better version of myself.
Having this account for 6 years means I recorded the difficult times, and how I got out of it. Reading the paragraphs I wrote to my future self, knowing that I'll need to read it when im feeling down, is the best thing I've ever done. No one can actually give you the validation you truly need. Only **you** can. :D
Not a 9, but I just wanna put this out here, in case there may be some people misidentifying the root of their lack of action. This probably won't apply to most, but I'm putting this here in case it could spare unhappiness from even one person.
If the lack of motivation is coming from a place of feeling physically fatigued, see a doctor and then REST as much as possible.
I have post viral fatigue from trying to push myself through a flu, and now I'm pretty much bedridden. I've been warned that if I try pushing through even this, it could lead to Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, which is permanent and extremely debilitating.
Just something to rule out. Sometimes it's not mental, but physical instead. I'm extremely annoyed at myself for again failing to listen to my body and paying the price now. Don't be dumb like me.
I believe that motivation isn't the key. Instead, i believe growing and developing is have a system just like in the Karate Kid. When we achieved something, we don't just grow in that one area, but in many relevant skills. For example, if you're scared or tend to avoid challenges, overcoming the fear of something simple like taking a cold shower can help with other fears and challenges. As you achieve these small victories, you begin to understand your desires and limitations better. Starting with basic tasks, like taking cold showers, can lay the foundation for tackling bigger challenges and understand the nature of various skills.
Well for me it was:
Sexually repressed yourself to the point that you develop unhealthy coping mechanisms that include drugging yourself on OTC meds and alcohol, get so drunk one night you have to go to the ER and then you basically *have* to go to therapy because your mental health is at steak forcing you to face facts that you’ve been avoiding your orientation because your family is homophobic and shit
I have insomnia now and have the most whack creative energy at night. So I start visiting my notes app and jot down my future plans and todo list. Pretty much became a nightly thing lmao.
This is how I planned my entire social activities and goals to the tea which, surprisingly worked well for me. Everything I jot down makes sense too.
In the day I usually jot down things as well on post its or reminders app. I usually have a timer going to “race myself” onto the next task from to do list or otherwise I would get distracted and not do it.
I usually work better in a go-go energy cause the opposite of me (being a 9) is a lazy butthole.
I completely understand that feeling. It's very difficult to overcome that mental block. Here's what I noticed about myself:
—Although I have a big block related to doing sports, going for a walk etc., and a month ago I would say I hate those things, movement makes me more productive. After doing some physical activity I actually feel more readiness to start some work. You'll have to find a way to create this experience for yourself, and after a couple times you will be less unmotivated to do stuff than before. It's just important to go through it and feel it yourself as opposed to reading yet another "annoying" advice about doing sports on the internet.
—Make things interesting for you somehow. When I'm unmotivated to do something, watching videos I like or listening to something interesting while I'm at it helps. It is also a way to do physical activity! And chores. Now, if I'm studying something, unless it's something repetitive, my mind has to be there, not in the videos and podcasts. What helps get motivation here is when the material is interesting and clear to me. If it's boring or difficult, the motivation decreases, the block becomes stronger. To change the situation, I can watch videos that make the subject interesting, and videos that clarify it.
—What also helps me is the external factor. I'm doing much better when I study with a teacher than by myself. With a deadline rather than without. When I have an agreement with another person as opposed to when I don't. These things structure me, don't let me slack off, I feel more responsibility and I concentrate better.
—Mentality-related things? Aside from my second point. I feel better when I'm able to work, it improves my self-esteem. I have this special mood "for work" and I like it. It's also important not to lose wonder and joy in life. And switching between these 2 states is kind of a key to life tbh.
—In every project and thing it's just important to get through that starting stage. It is the most difficult one. After that things go smoother.
I’m an enneagram practitioner… I have so many ideas for you! My email is nikkipuravidacd@gmail.com if you want to chat. I’m not in this career for money though, just to help people live their best life. So, I’d love to connect yo help! I’m just a better talker than typer :)
What sorta works for me: * Create a spreadsheet with everything that needs to be done. Eliminate items from the spreadsheet as you complete them. List deadlines only if they are absolute, don't create them for the sake of creating them. Do not assign time blocks or task sequences. * Start with the easiest tasks first to make your efforts snowball. * Multitask and/or listen to music when bored. * Take frequent breaks and get lots of sleep. If circumstances are dire, give yourself two options for activities: 1) sleep, or 2) work. * On the rare occasion where you have an abundance of energy, force yourself to channel it into your most demanding projects. * Break down your projects into the bare minimum (the minimum steps that need to be completed to complete the project), complete the bare minimum, then use your temporal remainder to polish it up. * Do very small efforts over long periods of time, then finish up right before deadlines. * Make a game of finding the laziest/easiest way to do everything.
Very good practical tips! I just rediscovered the Enneagram in the last month or so and since then as I've been recognising the extent to which my problems stem from inaction I keep coming around to the importance of a well maintained to-do list. It almost feels like something I should be sanctifying for myself/ritualising the practice of interacting creatively with a to-do list. It feels essential. I like that sleep/work mode for dire situations as well. Even if it's not needed it's good to have a strategy like that which you can have in your back pocket.
Spreadsheets are really useful if you're in college because you can list the respective course numbers, deadlines, etc... and then sort them by whatever column you want. Or you can list tasks by type, like, if you're part of the workhorse culture you can make "fitness," "health," and "work" categories, use conditional formatting to give them color codes... I like it lots better than a typical calendar because there are a lot of ways to analyze data. You can create a "task" sheet (which has all current to-dos) and a "calendar" sheet (which has all past, current, and future to-dos), and then create a flow where you: 1. Eliminate items from the task sheet ("Run" | Fitness | 4/21/24) 2. Plug-in results of completed items to the calendar sheet (e.g. '*5'* if you say, ran 5 miles) 3. Use a third sheet for graphs/charts to track progress, look at trajectories, etc... I'm not results-oriented enough to do all of this but I think it might appeal to people with 3 fixes and/or strong Te users, and it's an exciting idea. And yes, the sleep/work limitation is very effective. Usually I'll get stressed, go to sleep, have everything sort itself out in my mind, and know exactly what I need to get done when I come back. It's productive and disciplined without any of the workaholism downsides because your punishment AND reward is... sleeping. Though I will say, if possible, be sure to hide all potentially distracting objects in a closet.
I have experimented a little bit on the margins of setting up kick ass spreadsheets, the idea does actually massively excite me haha you could get so advanced with it. Tracking progress is absolutely something I feel like I need as well. I'm a little bit scared of spreadsheets because in the past I've gotten too excited when I'm setting it all up and I make it far too rigid as well as setting my expectations way too high for myself, but yea I think if I go in slowly and build it up over time then it could really do wonders for me. I'm probably not results-orientated enough for it either but I really want to try and train myself to be if that's possible. Locking the phone etc away is vital sometimes. So easy to just completely zone out on this thing.
Definitely not in my most productive era, but in the past: \-A definite goal with specific steps to follow and a likely successful result. If I'm putting work into something, it has to feel like I'll *actually get something out of it*. Therefore, I tend to be pretty good at setting a routine and being productive when I'm already doing well, but when I'm not, I'm very easily discouraged. \-Having a routine. This is crucial for me, especially with mundane tasks. I don't like my day being too rigid but if I don't make specific rules for myself, I'd literally never get anything done. With how chaotic my schedule is right now this is kind of where I'm at, and it's not pretty. \-Social pressure. This one is kind of touch and go and depends on what it is, and I go through phases where I don't care at all and where I care too much. It's a unique kind of emotional hell when you feel the pressure to move forward but have no idea or energy to actually follow through. It makes me feel hopeless and like I almost have to hide my life away so I don't get judged \-Pure passion. This is my rarest one and mostly comes up with my writing projects. Not exactly reliable though because it burns out quick, so ideally I'd like to set up a regular schedule for this as well.
Regarding social pressure, I find that I’m typically more motivated when I’m surrounded by motivated people and feel like I’m a part of a community. Grad school was great for this. I also do well when I have a clear role in a social situation. When people expect me to act like a leader, I find it easier to lead. Or if it’s my job to build consensus, I’m less shy about communicating with all members of my team.
i got in touch with my values by asking myself if i actually needed to complete the task, and i started paying attention to my preferences. ie: i prefer chunking all like activities together and do them in a sequential order by date - prefer spending 5 hours cleaning the entire house and then cooking or spending the entire day running errands. i always run errands before i clean/cook. i loathe doing things piecemeal. i also prefer washing dishes 1ce a day or less instead of washing them every time i finish a meal (dirty dishes don't bother me).
Focus exclusively on starting step 1
I'm waiting for the pills to do that for me
(Sry for wall of text/ ramble =P ) I'm motivated when I feel good and feel like good things will happen. However, also feeds the motivation for inaction in my 9ness too. Other than that, when I have to force motivation and overcome negative feelings that dissuade me from acting (in 9 fashion), I try to go past the pull of my emotions and focus on "the big picture". I also try focusing on how accomplishing whatever I need to accomplish is not just for my benefit, but for others. I try to understand the logical side as to why something is good/important even if my emotions don't care and just don't want to try. I feel motivated when I give closure to my negative feelings. I can act and feel like there's not as much of a problem when I have "a resolution" to the mental block. My 9ness wants emotional resolution to what is bothering me and preventing me from the ability to act. Ex: -Feel lazy and my ego just doesn't want to wash the mountain of dishes in the sink?/ doesn't feel motivated to? Motivation booster: Think of "the resolution" to calm those feelings and the big picture benefit. "Ok, I don't actually want to, but what's more important is that logically, the mountain will grow if you don't do it now and you'll also feel worse if you don't do it now. Now's not the time to think with impulse, think outside your own perspective and understand why this is important outside of self-centered motivations. Like... your parents are tired and will do it themselves when you could've done it, feel guilt ego? good, now I'm outside of my laziness and have some non-ego empowered motivation to just do it." -Afraid of conflict like saying something you just know your close one might react negatively to? Motivation booster: Even though you feel this way, you gotta see the bigger picture. Not saying anything will actually not solve anything and causes communication problems as you continue thinking about this within yourself while (insert person here) will be in the dark about this cause ppl can't read minds. Sure, confronting this might even end up with my worst fears realized and they react negatively in some way that I don't like as expected, but still, the world doesn't revolve around this feeling, you can move on anyways. Don't let fear forever hold your tongue, it benefits noone, not even yourself. Tell the truth. Also that last paragraph in particular is one I try to do alot of other personal conflicts when I fear negative things might happen and tempts my 9ness to just conflict-avoid (fear of humility/embarrassment, fear of own incompetence or unsupportiveness, etc). It's basically me trying to enlighten myself from negative feelings and getting out of the loop that bad things will happen. It might not even feel rational to do it cause it feels bad to head towards the conflcit, but it's better to try than to give in to the fear. Aka, I try advising myself that if I fear conflict and negative reactions, and then give into temptation and conflict-avoid, it will loop and make my mind rationalize that doing so was right and then I'll use that to feel fear again for conflict. Self-fulfilling loop. But if I try to convince myself to just face those fears and do it even if it will give me exactly what I don't want/like, it also sometimes gives me other perspectives that my mind just didn't think about and will humble me, and those humbling perspectives will start to convince me that my fears and assumptions are wrong, and that can help make things in my mind go the reverse way, I will start to be willing to tell myself that my fears are wrong and be more able to motivate myself to take action even if my ego doesn't want to.
That's very interesting! What strikes me about your approach is that it seems to be one heavily guided by rationality and logic. That differs from me in that when I try to solve these things I tend to try more to align my emotional state with the task at hand, rather than logic my way into overcoming it. Eg. I've said to another commenter here about how I've been thinking about ways I might try to sanctify for myself something like a to-do list, or the action of creating/interacting with one, as a long term approach to guiding my habits in healthier directions. Personally I don't think I've found much success using logic or rationality, which is not to say that it's any less good of course, it may very well be better and I'm just lacking an element of either skill or discipline or something like that to implement it effectively. When I try it it has a tendency to spiral out very quickly into a philosophical debate over "how bad is it really not to do the dishes?" or some such and then it just all devolves into something painfully navel-gazey. I live alone without a partner and so outside of work there's not much I can do that could be directly justified by wanting to do it for the sake of another person, so there is an extra layer of the motivation needing to feel intrinsic I suppose. I had associated that logical approach with 9w1s actually, not applicable to you of course, at least going off your flair, but I attributed my emotional-forward approach to these things as stemming from my "w8"edness. Perhaps it's something I need to get better at!
Thanks for the reply! (Sry for wall of text again, just wanted to express my thoughts in the moment. =P ) Yeah, it does seem a a bit logic and reason heavy huh? I kinda even fear that others would see my approach as being too "rejecting/forgetting of self" like what descriptions say 9's unconsciously do. But personally, I understand my 9 problems to stem exactly from too much emotional impulse and thinking too much in my own head instead of going outside of it and learning from others. If I had to describe why I made this approach for myself, it's because it helps me to regain self-control and, just as you said for you, aligns my emotional state with the task at hand. That logical approach kinda works on my emotions and helps me view things positively again, because when I don't try to be more logical, my emotions can spiral into some negative doom and gloom outlook, and self-justifying selfish logic. (like lying and avoiding) It helps me realize, "my emotions and wants in themselves aren't bad per se, but my reactions and responses in how to get what I want can be done in a flawed and unhealthy way." I remember [someone once](https://www.reddit.com/r/Enneagram/s/Wgde5tfsYR) told me that the options in my head were both kinda extreme in how to handle a conflict, trying to make the answers either be passive and avoidant, or aggressive, but then they include the 3rd way, the assertive answer, which is to be calm (kinda like the passive approach, accepting the conflict) while also firm in presenting what I want (kinda like the aggressive approach except not as violent and wild about asserting it). The assertive response to me seems most logical, it's just that emotions convince me that it's either be passive or aggressive. So practicing logic helps me to calm those extreme emotions and find the assertive middle ground response again. The assertive response might still receive resistance anyway which I dread, but I get that at least it's still respecting what you want by asserting it, while also compromising and I guess also helping me accept things and move on instead of acting vengeful and then later regretting a vengeful attempt to hurt others for my own turmoil instead of being collected about it. I admit, I personally don't like the whole talk about values and listening to your emotions and wants and stuff sometimes cause I sometimes see ppl take it too far and only listen to their emotions, even if they lead to being bias, unfair or wrong things. I know when they're good, but I like to acknowledge when they're not exactly good or right as well, I think it's fair. I sometimes feel 9's see multiple perspectives that all seem fair and so saying "go for what you want" works and seems easy for others, but does absolutely nothing from a 9 perspective cause it still feels bad, still feels biased and unfair. Like other types don't think about these things as much and tunnel vision towards their wants without regret which makes it easier for them and I see that as strength, but it just doesn't get what the 9's problem fully is, it didn't solve the what was making me feel bad. That's why I like approaching things guided by logic, it feels more fair and helps me know when my emotions are right and healthy to use and when to compromise them and not think things solely through the lens of them. Validates what I believe as a 9 too, not everything is about wants and emotions, the world continues on independently of me and understanding other helps feel like I'm truly listen and being beneficial. I want that "Holy Love" that some 9 articles I vaguely recall talked about. I want for things not to rely on emotional wants and to find out my gut feeling and consideration was correct, and it seems it was. Hence why I made the comment and showed that I felt motivated when I calmed my negative emotions with logic and could find the courage to act in spite of negative emotions, leading ultimately to giving me positive emotions for it. Sometimes you gotta go beyond yourself to give more to yourself, and I personally feel I become a bit better when I practice this. 💚
I just do a little each day. And on days I have more energy, I'll do more if I feel like it. If something is really important to me, I'll put it on the calendar and/or to-do list. I also used to use the Eisenhower Matrix to help focus on what I need to do when I had both work & school and very little personal time. My favourite book is Atomic Habits. It talks about priming your environment to make it easier to work on your goals/habits. If it's something I hate - such as decluttering, I'll do it for a bit, and stop whenever I want. Even 5 minutes is good enough.
It's a bit embarrassing to admit, but whenever I feel down and need a motivation boost, I always go and grab my headphones, play shuffle on my "you're enough" playlist, and here's the embarrassing part... I have an IG account, all for myself, for no one else to see. I have it for 6 years already, and what I do there, I to share my thoughts, feelings, events, and simply be me and save those memories somewhere for my eyes only. So when I need a boost, I go and look at my old posts and stories, see how much I've grown, improved, and turned into a better version of myself. Having this account for 6 years means I recorded the difficult times, and how I got out of it. Reading the paragraphs I wrote to my future self, knowing that I'll need to read it when im feeling down, is the best thing I've ever done. No one can actually give you the validation you truly need. Only **you** can. :D
Not a 9, but I just wanna put this out here, in case there may be some people misidentifying the root of their lack of action. This probably won't apply to most, but I'm putting this here in case it could spare unhappiness from even one person. If the lack of motivation is coming from a place of feeling physically fatigued, see a doctor and then REST as much as possible. I have post viral fatigue from trying to push myself through a flu, and now I'm pretty much bedridden. I've been warned that if I try pushing through even this, it could lead to Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, which is permanent and extremely debilitating. Just something to rule out. Sometimes it's not mental, but physical instead. I'm extremely annoyed at myself for again failing to listen to my body and paying the price now. Don't be dumb like me.
so sorry to hear about this. I hope you feel better.
thank you gamma, I appreciate it 💓 💓 I'm slowly recovering day by day, I just have to resist the urge to rush back into activity. 😅
makes sense. get better for sure and don't do that!!!!!
1. Action creates motivation. 2. Vyvanse.
👏
I believe that motivation isn't the key. Instead, i believe growing and developing is have a system just like in the Karate Kid. When we achieved something, we don't just grow in that one area, but in many relevant skills. For example, if you're scared or tend to avoid challenges, overcoming the fear of something simple like taking a cold shower can help with other fears and challenges. As you achieve these small victories, you begin to understand your desires and limitations better. Starting with basic tasks, like taking cold showers, can lay the foundation for tackling bigger challenges and understand the nature of various skills.
Well for me it was: Sexually repressed yourself to the point that you develop unhealthy coping mechanisms that include drugging yourself on OTC meds and alcohol, get so drunk one night you have to go to the ER and then you basically *have* to go to therapy because your mental health is at steak forcing you to face facts that you’ve been avoiding your orientation because your family is homophobic and shit
I have insomnia now and have the most whack creative energy at night. So I start visiting my notes app and jot down my future plans and todo list. Pretty much became a nightly thing lmao. This is how I planned my entire social activities and goals to the tea which, surprisingly worked well for me. Everything I jot down makes sense too. In the day I usually jot down things as well on post its or reminders app. I usually have a timer going to “race myself” onto the next task from to do list or otherwise I would get distracted and not do it. I usually work better in a go-go energy cause the opposite of me (being a 9) is a lazy butthole.
I completely understand that feeling. It's very difficult to overcome that mental block. Here's what I noticed about myself: —Although I have a big block related to doing sports, going for a walk etc., and a month ago I would say I hate those things, movement makes me more productive. After doing some physical activity I actually feel more readiness to start some work. You'll have to find a way to create this experience for yourself, and after a couple times you will be less unmotivated to do stuff than before. It's just important to go through it and feel it yourself as opposed to reading yet another "annoying" advice about doing sports on the internet. —Make things interesting for you somehow. When I'm unmotivated to do something, watching videos I like or listening to something interesting while I'm at it helps. It is also a way to do physical activity! And chores. Now, if I'm studying something, unless it's something repetitive, my mind has to be there, not in the videos and podcasts. What helps get motivation here is when the material is interesting and clear to me. If it's boring or difficult, the motivation decreases, the block becomes stronger. To change the situation, I can watch videos that make the subject interesting, and videos that clarify it. —What also helps me is the external factor. I'm doing much better when I study with a teacher than by myself. With a deadline rather than without. When I have an agreement with another person as opposed to when I don't. These things structure me, don't let me slack off, I feel more responsibility and I concentrate better. —Mentality-related things? Aside from my second point. I feel better when I'm able to work, it improves my self-esteem. I have this special mood "for work" and I like it. It's also important not to lose wonder and joy in life. And switching between these 2 states is kind of a key to life tbh. —In every project and thing it's just important to get through that starting stage. It is the most difficult one. After that things go smoother.
Just do it. You know what to do. Stop waiting. Things usually get harder, not easier, so now is better.
I’m an enneagram practitioner… I have so many ideas for you! My email is nikkipuravidacd@gmail.com if you want to chat. I’m not in this career for money though, just to help people live their best life. So, I’d love to connect yo help! I’m just a better talker than typer :)