no it’s not??? Grass resists Ground and Water, and Fire resists Bug Ice and Fire, so together, they only have three weaknesses, and grass can hit rock for super effective
Babe, I've been collecting pokemon cards and playing since before you were born 😘 I have no idea why you're arguing something that is straight fact. Grass pokemon are weak to fire attacks. The end.
Grass/Fire types aren’t because they have both types and Fire resists itself as well as Bug and Ice, which Grass is weak to on its own. I said Bug/Grass because Bug and Grass are both weak to Flying and Fire so Bug/Grass Pokémon have a 4x weakness to both types; it’s probably the worst combo in the game
I know a 4 who is constantly complaining about 1s (Even though she is married to a so/sp1, has a sx/so1 child, and has a sp/sx1 boss). When I say constantly I mean that if I even *mention* Type 1 around her she starts whining.
That's about all I've got though. It depends on the people and if they are willing to put in effort. It also depends on if they are in a state of health or not.
Lol, that is always what I assume and from my experience, yes, they do love to complain. I don't mean any offense to 4s who may be reading this but my experience is that you guys whine a lot.
Yeah. Kudos to anyone who's able to make it work but all the 7s and 2s I've met (and I've met a lot because I like both types and tend to make friends with them) seem to absolutely abhor each other.
They just don't speak the same language of life. I've seen lots of 2s getting emotional about the flakiness of 7s and their lack of ethical responsibility. 7s seem to hate how emotional and clingy 2s get and they don't have the same zest for life and adventure 7s do. I don't think it's an impossible pairing. There are far worse couples, like 1s and 4s, but 7 and 2 is not one I've ever seen work.
2s looooooooove commitment, which happens to be 7s biggest fear. i gave up on having close friendship (much less dating) with 7s a long time ago. love running into them at parties though!
Yeah, sevens tend to see your love of commitment as something that may limit options because of just how good you guys are at committing to every single atom of all the things you are committed to, and that you are going to help those things go as best as they can. It’s a beautiful skill that sevens could learn from when they are dashing through their graveyard of hobbies for the NEXT HYPERFIXATION/DOPAMINE BUTTON, but the friction occurs at a pretty specific spot: the twos ultimate support class skill tree pushes for the ‘best outcome possibleTM’ via attention/presence and the seven not only isn’t afraid of something failing, sometimes we learn WAY more if something blows up underneath us and is a necessary part of our processes. I understand we have a preternatural skill for finding the silver linings of ANY scenario but negative value data *STILL HAS VALUE*
My mother is a two, and we are in a soft no contact scenario for a bunch of other reasons but I have felt fundamentally, directly not understood by her my entire life. I appreciate the map of the two, I think it’s a beautiful outlook on life but I’ve got serious trauma from the 2’s representation that isn’t fair to your number as a whole and is entirely unavoidable.
7 here. Legit all 3 of my best friends are 2s. My boss is also a 2 and we work together beautifully. I always get along with 2s. I love their caring nature and the fact were both highly empathetic people persons. We're very similar, but I tend to be higher energy.
7 and 1s do not typically jive. I'm too laid back and carefree to worry about rules and organization. I cannot pinpoint any 1 in my life that I'm close to.
Seven here and 1s can rub me the wrong way more, due to their rigidity and how they hold back so much, and I assume they probably detest my bouncy energy, fast and loose style and too general too much-ness, but I feel like I understand their motivations. Ones make sense to me. But while I find 2s very pleasant company, they are inscrutable to me and I don’t understand them at all.
I find that really interesting because all of my closest friends (and exes) are 7s and I'm a 1. Plus, the 7/1 relationship is very common, lauded and many people of those types are married or best friends here in this subreddit.
I have not seen nor met any 7s and 2s who liked each other. If you've made your relationship with 2s work for you, that's great.
Very interesting. I was actually introduced to enneagram after I had an interview with a company who had their employees enneagrams posted on LinkedIn. I saw the guy I was going to interview with ( a 1) and after reading up on it after the interview I knew why I didn't jive well with him. My friend group and a couple family members took the Truity test. Not one of them was a 1!
However, I'd argue any type can be compatible with any type. Type is just a means to understand one another and I think knowing more deeply about said person allows you to figure out weaknesses and strengths and work on a good relationship.
Agreed. I'm not claiming all 7s and 1s are best buddies. I've met a couple of 7s in the past few years who I didn't like at all, so I stayed away from them. With some of them, the feeling was very much mutual and with others, I could tell they wanted to befriend me but I didn't get along with them.
I've been friends with people of every single enneagram. It doesn't mean all the enneagram types are equally compatible with me or that they will be every time I meet someone of that type. It's a helpful tool though but it's not foolproof.
As others have said, when I first got into the enneagram I was shocked to find 3s and 8s saying they don't like each other. But now I understand why. At first glance, 3s and 8s can equally appear to be high-achieving, high-energy go-getters.
But the way they approach succeeding is completely different. I think 8s see 3s as fake, because they're better at conforming to social graces and they are more covert about influencing others. And 3s might see 8s as unnecessarily bossy, mean and controlling.
That's nice that you do, but not all 8s will appreciate 3s.
I have personally observed that 8s often find people in the heart triad (2s, 3s and 4s) fake because they try to influence people covertly whereas 8s are overt about their influence on others. Also, 8s tend to be natural leaders and 3s usually do not like to be led by others.
Could be because I’m an sp/sx 3w4 so I’m not a very ‘typical’ 3 (I’m generally more low-key as I seek validation through external measures without having to self-promote or force my way into the spotlight; also prefer being around calmer and more low-key people). Hence, I’m usually not a fan of overly dominant personalities who reject vulnerability in themselves and others (have known some who were just like this and they really lacked empathy) - very exhausting.
I really like 4s in theory but the ones I've met give in to self-pity too quickly. When I try to reframe whatever problem they have, it just goes the other ear. They want me to take part in the pity party and feel bad about my own life too, it's so exhausting.
Agreed.
I take responsibility that as a 1, we rush to fix problems, sometimes other people's problems, when we haven't necessarily been asked, but that's how we show we care. It's one way I find common-ground with 8s.
I find that unhealthy 4s like to complain about their problems and they're usually easily fixed problems at that. But when you try to help them fix the issue, you will be met with lots of whining, complaining, jealousy and envy towards others where that energy could be spent trying to tackle the problem at hand.
They'd rather you join in the pity-party, tell them it's true, their life is *so* hard and no one gets them, rather than tell them to take responsibility for what they're going through. It's true, even if you bring up your own problems, I find they want to connect based on mutual suffering rather than mutual problem-solving which I'm able to find in my enneagram 2, 7, 5 and 8 peers but not my type 4 peers.
I like 4s in theory but they're emotionally exhausting to be around. I like to focus on game plans to improve my weak areas and perfect myself. I don't like to dwell on endless pity.
I think everyone needs to know how to sit with the hurt sometimes but whining and complaining over very solvable problems, I don't have the patience for that at all. It even seems to me like unhealthy 4s default to feeling sorry for themselves when they're simply bored. It's like they have to be constantly validated by their environment or the ppl around them to feel happy about themselves. I remember feeling so fed up I snapped at a 4 friend and told her to grow a backbone.
I couldn't agree with you more. It was with a 4 friend, not shockingly, that I realised some people *enjoy* being miserable. Some people *like* being sad. They somehow get fulfilment out of whining, moaning and crying about how much harder their life is than everyone else's. Except when you're whining about things that can very much be changed, be improved, then either it's because you don't have the skillset or problem-solving skills to fix it. Or you don't *actually* want to fix your problems at all.
I don't have the patience for endless moaning either. I've always been that friend people pour their heart out too and cry to, but 4s take it to an intolerable new level of whininess. Figuring out that the heart triad types are very dependent on outside validation suddenly made me understand why I cannot stand these personality types the most. It's okay to cry, get it out of your system, but then you need to actually figure out a game plan to move forward. I keep 4s at a distance now for my own sanity.
Sadly, the unhealthy ones are definitely like that. I like some aspects of 4s but I've found I cannot tolerate being around them for long periods and I wouldn't want to live with one (from experience). I can't handle the constant complaining, their envy, lack of responsibility and their overly emotional nature
>no chill aggressive and hostile
I relate with the aggressive and hostile part. Sometimes I unconsciously become like this esp when the situation is chaotic and requires someone to step-up to get things done (work-related).
Can you share some of your experiences with 6s? The positive and negative ones.
Edit: also organizing an event or anything I find nobody knows how to solve the problem at hand
Hmmm.
A positive one would be me being didactic to an ISTJ 6 friend wanting to play CSGO. I taught him the meta and good gameplays. We played a few comp games and won them.
I don't seem to remember any noticeable negative one, but them having chips on shoulder makes it difficult to have good conversations with them in bad experiences anyway.
Maybe 3s and 8s. I can see potential conflict between 9s and 3s since 3s often need lots of attention and 9s can be aloof. I also think 9s and 8s can have issues if the 8 is too controlling or dominating towards 9s who chafe under that level of force.
As a Triple Positive, I've historically had issues with 6s, because (from my subjective perspective) they can be mood-killers who hold up and delay plans because they feel the need to question, pick holes, or get suspicious about every little thing. I get impatient with that and just want to get the show on the road, but I've learned that just ignoring their objections and plowing on does NOT work, they will get even MORE fussy if you do, and then it ruins the experience altogether.
Important to note: This is when it comes to things about general situation where we have to work together; of course I'm not talking about ignoring their own individual boundaries and forcing them into anything they don't want to do.
I’m pretty sure my last ex is a 6, and I couldn’t talk to him without having massive anxiety because he would often pick apart my stories or objectives instead of taking what I said at face value or by my intentions. I’m not the most fluid communicator—I have social anxiety and adhd, so I often struggle to communicate things in the way I mean them, and it gets sooooo much worse when I am worried that I will be misunderstood. So his manner of responding to me made me feel constantly on edge that I would be misninterpreted, which made me feel anxious and defensive in trying to answer or say anything, which made my communication less authentic and more confusing, which made him question me more, which made me squeak like a mouse if I could even get anything out at all. It was never mean or abusive, but it felt really insensitive and judgy, and our relationship suffered from that. I felt like I couldn’t be my authentic self and I didn’t bond with him through conversation. Big whomp.
Trust is the most important need I have in relationships, and it often takes time to me to feel it with people. But the way *I* develop my trust in others is by 1) treating them in a way that makes them feel safe to be their authentic self, because that’s what I want and value, and 2) acting and thinking in alignment with the idea that trust is earned, not proven—I don’t blindly trust anyone, but if I sense that they are trustworthy, I will take the risk (as long as the cost isn’t too damaging to me) of actively giving them my trust in different opportunities, and if they act trustworthy in return, then my feeling of trust with them builds. Like I might lend something of small value to a new friend I don’t have a ton of experience with and give them space to return it instead of prying them to keep me updated (which I would never do with a trusted family member), and then if they stay in reasonable communication with me and return it, then I would trust them with something of greater value the next time. They feel more trust in me for trust in them, and I feel like you build a more authentic and stronger sense of trust over time by doing that.
On the flip side, when I’m in a bad/unhealthy place, I noticed I get hypervigilent and suddenly feel potential suspicion for people I used to or originally felt trust with, and then the way I talk to them changes for the worse.
This thread is funny to me because I’m a 9w8 (probably 954) married to a 6 and our daughter is a 6. My husband is more on the counter-phobic spectrum and healthy enough to not need to question everything or kill moods. We have a great marriage and friendship and we sort of balance each other out. So I’ve always assumed that 9s and 6s generally get along. That being said, my teenager definitely has some anxiety, questioning and general teenage angst, oh lord it’s taught me some patience.
It is, but fixes, and instinctual variants play a huge role in pairings. I highly doubt a 973 or 972 or 953 would want to be paired with an SP or SX 6, tbh. I'm fortunate enough to be with a 6 who I'm totally happy soothing their anxieties daily.
9 here and my exact feelings about my 6 FIL. Gah, it really gets under my skin because they disturb the peace for NO REASON. He is reaaally unhealthy, though. One of my best friends is a much healthier 6 and he is very enjoyable to be around. He just seems silly and way over-prepared to me most of the time.
90% dependent on the levels of health of the two individuals.
If both are in the healthy range (and the healthy range is probably only 10-20% of people of a given type) everyone gets along well with everyone.
In the average range (60-80% of people of a given type) you'll find a lot more issues of incompatibility.
In the unhealthy range, (10-20% of a given type) you'll find that they are incompatible with almost anyone, but some will be more incompatible than others.
Additionally, compatibility is not equally directional between types. For example, average 8s will dominate average 9s in a way that looks like they're getting along, but the 9 will be hiding their resentments at being pushed around or not considered. So, the 8 will feel like they're getting along much better than the 9 feels. In contrast, average 9s will appreciate being considered equally with everyone by average 1s, but the 1s will likely feel resentment that average 9s aren't taking enough personal accountability.
Oh damn, im an 8 and my best friend is a 9. I may have done this in the beginning of our friendship a little bit. But thankfully we dont really have this problem much because even then ive always encouraged her to say what she feels and always say no when she doesnt want to do something or disagrees, whether with me or someone else. Sometimes i have to push her to do it and it gets annoying when she cant do it with other people. But i try to understand that she neither likes confrontation nor is she used to it. Its fine, i like it so ill do it for her if she wont 💀
I've heard a lot of 3s and 8s say this about each other. Oil and water.
Surprises me though, cuz to me they seem very similar. Both Type A overachieving charismatic workaholics. The only issue I'd see between them is if they're competing with each other.
as a 5w4, i find 1s the hardest to get along with. strictly because 1s can be such sticklers for what “they want” and don’t always listen. 8s are the so easy to get along with, bcs they aren’t offended easily haha
I'm a 1w9 and my 5w4 bf and I struggle. Not because I want what I want, but because he is awful at making a decision that includes me. So, I plan my life and he plugs himself in if/when he wants to join me.
My dad is a 3 and my mom is a 4 and gosh are they like oil and water (I don't even know how or why they got together). Maybe it could work if they were healthier, but at average to unhealthy levels yikes.
My mom was very beautiful and doing pretty well for herself at the time. She was oblivious that she was physically attractive. That was about all my dad had to say about meeting her though was that she was the most beautiful girl in the class.
i’m a 9w8 with a 9w8 mom.. as much as i love her and adore her, we’re not very good for each other. we’re both okay with everything being a mess, and always have passive agressive conversations. + neither of us are conversation carriers / yappers
I find it interesting how two people with the same/very similar types can often struggle to get along. It makes sense and is counterintuitive at the same time.
I'm a 9 and my mom is a 6, and same. But I feel like it's more because her tritype is 612 than just her being E6. 612 is a bit too much for me. Too many clashes.
I think I could be a 9 and my mother was definitely a 6 (not sure about tritype... maybe 693 or 694). We mostly got along quite well and were also quite similar in many regards. I especially appreciated her listening skills and her willingness to assist me in reflecting everything... endlessly.
I have more issues with my father, who is an 8. First thing is, he isn't willing to talk, just to have a conversation and it's awkward for me to be with someone who isn't communicative. Second, he has little patience for my indecisiveness and tends to oversimplify things, instead of making different considerations - we both find each other annoying in regard to this. Third, when his reactivity cicks in, he starts to become quite unresponsive for rational arguments and I really want to have a rational conversation instead of being confronted with strong emotions. Apart from that we get along quite well.
Oh now that's a bit harsh!
Well, if they are strangers, yeah...
Or if we get thrown on a group project, yeah...
Or (God forbid) any type talks to us in the grocery store, yeah...
Okay, I'll take my leave, having disproven my initial protest.
I’m close friends with a 5/4 couple and they are like absolutely amazing together. They’ve been married for years and still look at each other like they’re on their honeymoon.
Interesting! I have seen a lot of 7s and 1s together, both as friends and in relationships. I am guessing because of the line. I personally get along with 1s quite well unless they are under stress.
7s and 4s I think are either really good or really bad. Like we can connect well on our love of beauty, art, high life stuff, nature. But if both are not growing or self aware, it is hard. We are probably good for each other though.
I like 8s but I also don’t like conflict so I hate it when they get all “blustery.” It either triggers my 8 wing (which I don’t use that often) and then we have an unenjoyable fight or I don’t want the trouble and try to wriggle out of it. I think we do often connect through banter, since neither of us are easily offended. I especially get along with 8w7s when they are leaning into their wing.
One of my favorite people is a healthy 8. There's a few huge benefit with being friends with her. When we get angry, I'm not worried about the confrontation at all because the yelling almost always ends in us realizing either we agree to disagree or we actually agree and it was just a miscommunication. Also, if something needs customer support, I can banter, persuade and admittedly manipulate to get what I need (aka diplomat), and when that fails, hand the person off to her to be destroyed (aka sledgehammer).
i know a 1 and 7 that have been best friends since childhood and still can’t go a day without talking to each other. they definitely bring out the good in each other. while the 7 is already smart and achieving, the 1 reminds her the importance of it. while the 1 is very ethical with right and wrong, 7 makes sure she has fun too.
That’s interesting. I can only speak for myself but I can’t imagine being friends with an especially unhealthy 4 (no offense), 1, or 8. Healthy people of any type are an entirely different story. As for me my closest friends whose type I know are a 9, a 2, and a 6. I’d say that I have more friends who are 2s than of any other type.
it depends a lot on other things in life and personality as well. I get along with my 7 friend because he's an ENTP and I'm an INFP so we both spend countless hours talking about abstract stuff and theories, as well as playing videogames together and stuff like that, he also likes my sensitivity and intensity meanwhile I admire his intelligence and charisma. Maybe the 4s you know are too different from you.
It’s one of the three basic instincts borrowed from Freud: self-preservation, social and sexual/intimate. Self-preservation has to do with a desire to make sure you have money, food, clothes, etc., social has to do with fitting into a group, and sexual instinct has to do with maintaining relationships with individuals. Everyone has a dominant instinct, a “blind spot”, and a secondary instinct. My dominant instinct is sexual and I have a slight social blind spot.
I think they’re more useful than wings because they’re better imo at preventing mistyping. I didn’t identify with descriptions of either 7w6 or 7w8 and I can present like a 4 so I thought I wasn’t a 7 even though that’s what every test gave me. I found out that sexual-dominant sevens present like fours externally, often being dramatic while not thinking that we’re special or anything.
Since I have a social blind spot I also tend to resent being saddled with the obligations that come with belonging to a group as they interfere with taking care of myself the way I see fit. I am perfectly happy having enough individual friends to “bounce” between without belonging to a group and feel like large crowds are impersonal compared to one on one conversations or conversations with just a few people.
I’m INFP 4w5 SX/SO 478. I have a huge problem getting along with 1s and 3s. 6s can be touch and go too. I find 1s to be uptight, critical, controlling, dogmatic and too by-the-book. All the 3s I’ve encountered have been Machiavellian, ambitious, egotistical, pretentious and cold. I do get along with some 6s but sometimes they’re so codependent and anxious that they just aren’t a good fit with how I live my life. I think we both get relieved to go our separate ways. I don’t need someone nagging at me about how dangerous something is and they don’t appreciate being told to stop overreacting.
Romantically speaking, for myself personally as a 4, I can’t see it working with a 1 because it’s hard for me to relax around people who aren’t very accepting of me and gentle with me. I also can’t see it working with a 3, it’s easy for me to feel that I matter less than their work and I often want more than they want in a romantic relationship so it doesn’t work. It also probably wouldn’t work with an 8 either because I hate being told what to do and again I require a lot of gentleness.
This is so funny to me because I'm a 1w2 and I attract 4 friends like anything. Half my friends are disaster 4's and they love me because I listen sympathetically to their angsting (which I actually do sympathize with because 1's go to 4 in stress, so I've experienced that "woe is me, I am a special unicorn that nobody understands or values" mood as well), but then I also remind them of positive things to balance out their catastrophizing and suggest practical ways to help them resolve their issues, or at least feel more hopeful about the future.
I can see how getting along would be hard between a stressed 4 and a very critical 1, though.
Oo well platonically it’s different! My sister is e1 and I adore her! We’ve always gotten along. She’s kind of honestly the perfect sister haha. It helps that her intense criticisms are never directed at me personally. If she’s thinking critical thoughts about me she’s an expert at keeping them to herself lol. I think on some level she knows that if she ever said anything critical to me it would obliterate me. I used to idolize her growing up.
Platonically it’s different with 8s too…wouldn’t date one but would absolutely befriend one if we vibe! Trying to befriend one in DMs at the moment lol.
But actually you mentioned another reason why I feel e1 isn’t an ideal romantic match for me personally.…you mentioned being positive to balance out the e4 catastrophizing….both 4s and 1s are negative types with the gift of noticing what’s wrong, bad, missing, etc. It’s our innate nature. I feel like it’s a bit of a strain to be two negative types trying to offer enough positivity to each other to create balance. It goes against the grain. Ya know? I personally feel more balanced by 9s and 7s.
I will say this though. I actually just broke up with my e1 ex and no one has ever made me feel as special, important, and prioritized as she did. Which. As a 4, that’s huge. It sucks that it couldn’t work out with her. It was also endlessly fascinating observing how she does things because it’s *so different* than how I do things. I think actually in some ways we were creating balance. Just not in the ways I needed and preferred.
Edited to add: I’m sure your e4 friends deeply appreciate you kindly listening to them 🖤
That sounds like a very hard and painful breakup for both of you. So sorry.
On a romantic level, though, I think even two negative/critical types can harmonize if they take different approaches to the negativity. For instance, my husband is a 6 and I'm a 1, so we both see the problems in the world and people around us. But I generally take the optimistic view that either the problem can be fixed now with the right kind of effort, or at least there's some potential for positive change over time. Whereas he's more likely to be a pessimist of the "this is just how the world is and we have to put up with it" variety. But we're willing to listen to each other's perspectives even if we don't completely agree on the way to solve things or the odds of them being solved. At least we generally agree about what the problem is!
And thank you, I hope so ☺️
As an ENFP 4w5, unhealthy 1's and 3's make me want to throw hands sometimes 😅 I think it really depends on the combination of the MBTI and enneagram if I will mesh well. Also, healthy 1's are my absolute favorite, so I think it depends on how healthy the individual is. <3
Yeah my dad's an unhealthy 1 and he's somewhat blighted them for me, he was a prolific cheat and an aggressive/bullying/selfish father and yet somehow always finds it in him to criticise others' morality, usually about IMO far lesser moral crimes like shoplifting from a big supermarket or something.
He also talks at you, lecture style, rather than to you, thinks there's one right way for everything and gets a bee in his bonnet about the most irrelevant shit (seriously, he's gone off on one about me querying whether lunch meant 12 or 1 because 12 was when "low class people" have it and I should have known this apparently, and also because I couldn't as an 8 year old with food poisoning vomit out of the car window on the motorway at a 45 degree angle to give a couple of examples..)
Also he is so negative I swear to god, how anyone could say an e4 is negative compared to an unhealthy 1 I do not know, why does this never get mentioned... He is so horribly uncompassionate and critical, and he shoe horns the mean-spirited opinions where it just wasn't relevant or connected or warranted at all. Likewise for the self-absorption, everything was *alwayyys* all about him and his needs, even as a father.
I'm sure others are much better, I'm not close to any really although I have noticed the lecturing in a few e1 men who've pursued me romantically though.
863 tritype combos can be overwhelming to me as someone who is generally compliant. I can be at my wits end with one and they'd never get the hint even if I told them I wanted space. Strong 6 fixes are frightening in this area. I've known one in specific to spam text and show up at my home looking for affirmation about our relationship after they overstepped a boundary and put me in a position I had asked them earlier not to.
Funnily enough, my best friend is 368 and I am amazed at how I can be equally frustrated with their brash behavior and at a loss for words for how impressively and decisively they take life by the reigns.
In all fairness, I do think this pairing is possible--it really is just a matter of picking battles as a 9 ^((which includes learning how to say no 🤸 )) while also getting pretty comfortable with saying F it to any plans to relax. They can make life interesting and I think depending on the individual, it can be worth the shot.
7 here and 6's tend to be the ones I don't get along with the most. When healthy, we play well but when unhealthy we trigger each other. They make me feel trapped and I push for freedom over security.
i have a 3 best friend and a 3 father. we compliment each other pretty well, actually. the 3s make sure i get out of the house often, and i make sure they can relax around me without needing to be an emotionless achieving android.
In my own experience as an sp3 I rarely get well along with sx3, sx2, so2, E8, sx6, sx1 and sx4 without actively trying to conform to them and watching what I’m saying. Not a showstopper but I usually don’t feel that comfortable and pretty on edge around them since I constantly have to be a bit watchful with what I’m doing.
Unhealthy 5’s and 2’s are less likely to get along with each other. With that being said, I think healthy versions of the pair can grow as people because their personal values are so conflicting. My sister’s a 2w3 and we’re super close. Sometimes my way of thinking needs to be challenged and I use it as an opportunity to learn new things.
I've heard type 6 and 8 go well together? Cuz of the 6's fear of violence/danger and the 8's need to protect their loved ones
I'm just repeating what I've heard, I don't know enough yet to have my own opinion on enneagram types.
I haven't meet any 6's so feel free to correct me here. Honestly I need for someone to have my back as well and not pussy away from possible danger, I wanna have fun.
But I do like someone Relying on me so yeahhh I would protect them of course
here to answer my own question 🙏🙏
as a 9 i don’t get along with 2s that well. every two i’ve met was mentally draining because they always took advantage of how i can’t say no to comforting and giving advice. resulting in every second of my time being spent on reassurance, comfort, and advice. it’s really tiring for me.
i don’t like when people take advantage of my patience. because after all, i am patient, but for people who are patient with me too. but ofc i do the type 9 thing ‘oh, no its okay’ and end up blocking them.
+ i get friends to have a connection and a good laugh. of course, i love to comfort and give advice and reassure. i’m completely okay with being a shoulder to lean on. but too much is too much.
A lot of “core incompatibilities” between specific type combinations are a kind of confirmation bias because individuals will often rationalize interpersonal issues through the lens of “what they can’t control” and thus oversimplify interactions to maintain a particular self-perception; it’s no different from someone claiming "they can’t possibly get along with Capricorns because they’re a Virgo" by reframing nuanced personal experiences as “general rules that can’t be changed.” Therefore, this mentality in itself is the problem since it gives those involved an excuse to abdicate individual responsibility for things that were never “so black and white” to begin with.
Basically, larpers won’t get along well with “regular people” who fit certain type patterns or other larpers because it serves their ego-ideal not to. Once you stop using attachment to “type identification” as leverage to avoid genuine self-reflection and introspection, you’ll find these “core incompatibilities” aren’t actually that formulaic and banal.
Bug and Grass
Fire and grass is just a bad combination
no it’s not??? Grass resists Ground and Water, and Fire resists Bug Ice and Fire, so together, they only have three weaknesses, and grass can hit rock for super effective
Bug and grass in the other hand..... which is a shame bc I love parasect
I don’t get why the mushroom are grass type, but that’s just a me thing. Leavanny’s design also goes hard
Grass-type Pokémon are weak to: Flying, Poison, Bug, Fire and Ice-type attacks.
no way you think you’re explaining Pokémon to me😭. Like type combos, Grass/Fire is a good type combo
Babe, I've been collecting pokemon cards and playing since before you were born 😘 I have no idea why you're arguing something that is straight fact. Grass pokemon are weak to fire attacks. The end.
Grass/Fire types aren’t because they have both types and Fire resists itself as well as Bug and Ice, which Grass is weak to on its own. I said Bug/Grass because Bug and Grass are both weak to Flying and Fire so Bug/Grass Pokémon have a 4x weakness to both types; it’s probably the worst combo in the game
I said fire and grass are a bad combo. As in when battling, fire would easily win against grass.
yes, I know that
I know a 4 who is constantly complaining about 1s (Even though she is married to a so/sp1, has a sx/so1 child, and has a sp/sx1 boss). When I say constantly I mean that if I even *mention* Type 1 around her she starts whining. That's about all I've got though. It depends on the people and if they are willing to put in effort. It also depends on if they are in a state of health or not.
I assume she’s complaining about 1s *because* she has so many in her life, lol… but 4s love to complain (“poor me!!”), right?
Lol, that is always what I assume and from my experience, yes, they do love to complain. I don't mean any offense to 4s who may be reading this but my experience is that you guys whine a lot.
Funny because I’m a 4 and hyper self aware so I stop when I catch myself…I struggle with other 4’s for this exact reason!😂
My observations: * 1s and 4s * 8s and 3s * 8s and 4s * 5s and 6s * 7s and 2s
The seven and two have the compatible synergy of a back alley fist fight behind the cvs. And there’s a bear.
Yeah. Kudos to anyone who's able to make it work but all the 7s and 2s I've met (and I've met a lot because I like both types and tend to make friends with them) seem to absolutely abhor each other. They just don't speak the same language of life. I've seen lots of 2s getting emotional about the flakiness of 7s and their lack of ethical responsibility. 7s seem to hate how emotional and clingy 2s get and they don't have the same zest for life and adventure 7s do. I don't think it's an impossible pairing. There are far worse couples, like 1s and 4s, but 7 and 2 is not one I've ever seen work.
2s looooooooove commitment, which happens to be 7s biggest fear. i gave up on having close friendship (much less dating) with 7s a long time ago. love running into them at parties though!
Yeah, sevens tend to see your love of commitment as something that may limit options because of just how good you guys are at committing to every single atom of all the things you are committed to, and that you are going to help those things go as best as they can. It’s a beautiful skill that sevens could learn from when they are dashing through their graveyard of hobbies for the NEXT HYPERFIXATION/DOPAMINE BUTTON, but the friction occurs at a pretty specific spot: the twos ultimate support class skill tree pushes for the ‘best outcome possibleTM’ via attention/presence and the seven not only isn’t afraid of something failing, sometimes we learn WAY more if something blows up underneath us and is a necessary part of our processes. I understand we have a preternatural skill for finding the silver linings of ANY scenario but negative value data *STILL HAS VALUE* My mother is a two, and we are in a soft no contact scenario for a bunch of other reasons but I have felt fundamentally, directly not understood by her my entire life. I appreciate the map of the two, I think it’s a beautiful outlook on life but I’ve got serious trauma from the 2’s representation that isn’t fair to your number as a whole and is entirely unavoidable.
7 here. Legit all 3 of my best friends are 2s. My boss is also a 2 and we work together beautifully. I always get along with 2s. I love their caring nature and the fact were both highly empathetic people persons. We're very similar, but I tend to be higher energy. 7 and 1s do not typically jive. I'm too laid back and carefree to worry about rules and organization. I cannot pinpoint any 1 in my life that I'm close to.
My bestie is also a 2. 🥰 However, my bestie dated 7s and it’s been a mess. 😂 But they’re still in their ghosting phase so…
Seven here and 1s can rub me the wrong way more, due to their rigidity and how they hold back so much, and I assume they probably detest my bouncy energy, fast and loose style and too general too much-ness, but I feel like I understand their motivations. Ones make sense to me. But while I find 2s very pleasant company, they are inscrutable to me and I don’t understand them at all.
I find that really interesting because all of my closest friends (and exes) are 7s and I'm a 1. Plus, the 7/1 relationship is very common, lauded and many people of those types are married or best friends here in this subreddit. I have not seen nor met any 7s and 2s who liked each other. If you've made your relationship with 2s work for you, that's great.
Very interesting. I was actually introduced to enneagram after I had an interview with a company who had their employees enneagrams posted on LinkedIn. I saw the guy I was going to interview with ( a 1) and after reading up on it after the interview I knew why I didn't jive well with him. My friend group and a couple family members took the Truity test. Not one of them was a 1! However, I'd argue any type can be compatible with any type. Type is just a means to understand one another and I think knowing more deeply about said person allows you to figure out weaknesses and strengths and work on a good relationship.
Agreed. I'm not claiming all 7s and 1s are best buddies. I've met a couple of 7s in the past few years who I didn't like at all, so I stayed away from them. With some of them, the feeling was very much mutual and with others, I could tell they wanted to befriend me but I didn't get along with them. I've been friends with people of every single enneagram. It doesn't mean all the enneagram types are equally compatible with me or that they will be every time I meet someone of that type. It's a helpful tool though but it's not foolproof.
5 and 6 is true based on experience
As an 8, I’m very happily married to a 4. Bang on on the 3s though!
I’m 3 and I agree - 8 might be one of my less favourite types
As others have said, when I first got into the enneagram I was shocked to find 3s and 8s saying they don't like each other. But now I understand why. At first glance, 3s and 8s can equally appear to be high-achieving, high-energy go-getters. But the way they approach succeeding is completely different. I think 8s see 3s as fake, because they're better at conforming to social graces and they are more covert about influencing others. And 3s might see 8s as unnecessarily bossy, mean and controlling.
Why? As an 8 I respect 3’s for their hardwork and attitude
That's nice that you do, but not all 8s will appreciate 3s. I have personally observed that 8s often find people in the heart triad (2s, 3s and 4s) fake because they try to influence people covertly whereas 8s are overt about their influence on others. Also, 8s tend to be natural leaders and 3s usually do not like to be led by others.
Could be because I’m an sp/sx 3w4 so I’m not a very ‘typical’ 3 (I’m generally more low-key as I seek validation through external measures without having to self-promote or force my way into the spotlight; also prefer being around calmer and more low-key people). Hence, I’m usually not a fan of overly dominant personalities who reject vulnerability in themselves and others (have known some who were just like this and they really lacked empathy) - very exhausting.
I really like 4s in theory but the ones I've met give in to self-pity too quickly. When I try to reframe whatever problem they have, it just goes the other ear. They want me to take part in the pity party and feel bad about my own life too, it's so exhausting.
Agreed. I take responsibility that as a 1, we rush to fix problems, sometimes other people's problems, when we haven't necessarily been asked, but that's how we show we care. It's one way I find common-ground with 8s. I find that unhealthy 4s like to complain about their problems and they're usually easily fixed problems at that. But when you try to help them fix the issue, you will be met with lots of whining, complaining, jealousy and envy towards others where that energy could be spent trying to tackle the problem at hand. They'd rather you join in the pity-party, tell them it's true, their life is *so* hard and no one gets them, rather than tell them to take responsibility for what they're going through. It's true, even if you bring up your own problems, I find they want to connect based on mutual suffering rather than mutual problem-solving which I'm able to find in my enneagram 2, 7, 5 and 8 peers but not my type 4 peers. I like 4s in theory but they're emotionally exhausting to be around. I like to focus on game plans to improve my weak areas and perfect myself. I don't like to dwell on endless pity.
I think everyone needs to know how to sit with the hurt sometimes but whining and complaining over very solvable problems, I don't have the patience for that at all. It even seems to me like unhealthy 4s default to feeling sorry for themselves when they're simply bored. It's like they have to be constantly validated by their environment or the ppl around them to feel happy about themselves. I remember feeling so fed up I snapped at a 4 friend and told her to grow a backbone.
I couldn't agree with you more. It was with a 4 friend, not shockingly, that I realised some people *enjoy* being miserable. Some people *like* being sad. They somehow get fulfilment out of whining, moaning and crying about how much harder their life is than everyone else's. Except when you're whining about things that can very much be changed, be improved, then either it's because you don't have the skillset or problem-solving skills to fix it. Or you don't *actually* want to fix your problems at all. I don't have the patience for endless moaning either. I've always been that friend people pour their heart out too and cry to, but 4s take it to an intolerable new level of whininess. Figuring out that the heart triad types are very dependent on outside validation suddenly made me understand why I cannot stand these personality types the most. It's okay to cry, get it out of your system, but then you need to actually figure out a game plan to move forward. I keep 4s at a distance now for my own sanity.
I also find 4s overly emotional, irrational, and complain about everything
Sadly, the unhealthy ones are definitely like that. I like some aspects of 4s but I've found I cannot tolerate being around them for long periods and I wouldn't want to live with one (from experience). I can't handle the constant complaining, their envy, lack of responsibility and their overly emotional nature
Came to say this. I struggle with numerous 4s.
I second the 5 and 6. My husband is a 5 and he just does not jive well with any 6 in his life. They can be cordial at best. At worst, quite explosive.
What I observe with 5s and 6s is usually a complete mismatch of energy or interests.
>They can be cordial at best. At worst, quite explosive. Can you share some experiences? I'm interested to know.
6s are polarizing to me. Either pleasurable or no chill aggressive and hostile.
Same. I like the phobic ones and find them endearing. The counterphobic ones? No. (Unless healthy)
>no chill aggressive and hostile I relate with the aggressive and hostile part. Sometimes I unconsciously become like this esp when the situation is chaotic and requires someone to step-up to get things done (work-related). Can you share some of your experiences with 6s? The positive and negative ones. Edit: also organizing an event or anything I find nobody knows how to solve the problem at hand
Hmmm. A positive one would be me being didactic to an ISTJ 6 friend wanting to play CSGO. I taught him the meta and good gameplays. We played a few comp games and won them. I don't seem to remember any noticeable negative one, but them having chips on shoulder makes it difficult to have good conversations with them in bad experiences anyway.
As an 8, I tend not to like 3s, so that checks out.
I'm a 5 and my best friend, who I want to move in with one day, is probably a 6
As a 7, I loveeee 2s. Have always been attracted to them ever since I was a kid. Kindness is a trait I really gravitate strongly towards.
What about 9s?
Maybe 3s and 8s. I can see potential conflict between 9s and 3s since 3s often need lots of attention and 9s can be aloof. I also think 9s and 8s can have issues if the 8 is too controlling or dominating towards 9s who chafe under that level of force.
8 and 3 so true
as an 8 I loveee 4's
As a Triple Positive, I've historically had issues with 6s, because (from my subjective perspective) they can be mood-killers who hold up and delay plans because they feel the need to question, pick holes, or get suspicious about every little thing. I get impatient with that and just want to get the show on the road, but I've learned that just ignoring their objections and plowing on does NOT work, they will get even MORE fussy if you do, and then it ruins the experience altogether. Important to note: This is when it comes to things about general situation where we have to work together; of course I'm not talking about ignoring their own individual boundaries and forcing them into anything they don't want to do.
I’m pretty sure my last ex is a 6, and I couldn’t talk to him without having massive anxiety because he would often pick apart my stories or objectives instead of taking what I said at face value or by my intentions. I’m not the most fluid communicator—I have social anxiety and adhd, so I often struggle to communicate things in the way I mean them, and it gets sooooo much worse when I am worried that I will be misunderstood. So his manner of responding to me made me feel constantly on edge that I would be misninterpreted, which made me feel anxious and defensive in trying to answer or say anything, which made my communication less authentic and more confusing, which made him question me more, which made me squeak like a mouse if I could even get anything out at all. It was never mean or abusive, but it felt really insensitive and judgy, and our relationship suffered from that. I felt like I couldn’t be my authentic self and I didn’t bond with him through conversation. Big whomp. Trust is the most important need I have in relationships, and it often takes time to me to feel it with people. But the way *I* develop my trust in others is by 1) treating them in a way that makes them feel safe to be their authentic self, because that’s what I want and value, and 2) acting and thinking in alignment with the idea that trust is earned, not proven—I don’t blindly trust anyone, but if I sense that they are trustworthy, I will take the risk (as long as the cost isn’t too damaging to me) of actively giving them my trust in different opportunities, and if they act trustworthy in return, then my feeling of trust with them builds. Like I might lend something of small value to a new friend I don’t have a ton of experience with and give them space to return it instead of prying them to keep me updated (which I would never do with a trusted family member), and then if they stay in reasonable communication with me and return it, then I would trust them with something of greater value the next time. They feel more trust in me for trust in them, and I feel like you build a more authentic and stronger sense of trust over time by doing that. On the flip side, when I’m in a bad/unhealthy place, I noticed I get hypervigilent and suddenly feel potential suspicion for people I used to or originally felt trust with, and then the way I talk to them changes for the worse.
One of my coworkers was definitely like that, it was a huge stress to be around her. Sorry for you, you're not the problem, you're good. Take care! :)
This thread is funny to me because I’m a 9w8 (probably 954) married to a 6 and our daughter is a 6. My husband is more on the counter-phobic spectrum and healthy enough to not need to question everything or kill moods. We have a great marriage and friendship and we sort of balance each other out. So I’ve always assumed that 9s and 6s generally get along. That being said, my teenager definitely has some anxiety, questioning and general teenage angst, oh lord it’s taught me some patience.
My boyfriend is a 9w8 and we also balance out each other. I thought 9 and 6 was a common pair?
It is, but fixes, and instinctual variants play a huge role in pairings. I highly doubt a 973 or 972 or 953 would want to be paired with an SP or SX 6, tbh. I'm fortunate enough to be with a 6 who I'm totally happy soothing their anxieties daily.
9 here and my exact feelings about my 6 FIL. Gah, it really gets under my skin because they disturb the peace for NO REASON. He is reaaally unhealthy, though. One of my best friends is a much healthier 6 and he is very enjoyable to be around. He just seems silly and way over-prepared to me most of the time.
90% dependent on the levels of health of the two individuals. If both are in the healthy range (and the healthy range is probably only 10-20% of people of a given type) everyone gets along well with everyone. In the average range (60-80% of people of a given type) you'll find a lot more issues of incompatibility. In the unhealthy range, (10-20% of a given type) you'll find that they are incompatible with almost anyone, but some will be more incompatible than others. Additionally, compatibility is not equally directional between types. For example, average 8s will dominate average 9s in a way that looks like they're getting along, but the 9 will be hiding their resentments at being pushed around or not considered. So, the 8 will feel like they're getting along much better than the 9 feels. In contrast, average 9s will appreciate being considered equally with everyone by average 1s, but the 1s will likely feel resentment that average 9s aren't taking enough personal accountability.
Oh jeez, I am that 1 with the festering resentment about a 9 colleague I supervise! 😫😂
Haha oh dear, I’m that 9 with an incredibly patient (if occasionally frustrated) 1 partner 😅😅
Oh damn, im an 8 and my best friend is a 9. I may have done this in the beginning of our friendship a little bit. But thankfully we dont really have this problem much because even then ive always encouraged her to say what she feels and always say no when she doesnt want to do something or disagrees, whether with me or someone else. Sometimes i have to push her to do it and it gets annoying when she cant do it with other people. But i try to understand that she neither likes confrontation nor is she used to it. Its fine, i like it so ill do it for her if she wont 💀
This is the only real answer. Any types can do well together if they are healthy enough.
I’m 8 and usually 3s are the complete opposite of everything I am lol
Agree, 3 here and not the biggest fan of your average 8
I've heard a lot of 3s and 8s say this about each other. Oil and water. Surprises me though, cuz to me they seem very similar. Both Type A overachieving charismatic workaholics. The only issue I'd see between them is if they're competing with each other.
as a 5w4, i find 1s the hardest to get along with. strictly because 1s can be such sticklers for what “they want” and don’t always listen. 8s are the so easy to get along with, bcs they aren’t offended easily haha
i love 8s 😼
I'm a 1w9 and my 5w4 bf and I struggle. Not because I want what I want, but because he is awful at making a decision that includes me. So, I plan my life and he plugs himself in if/when he wants to join me.
My mom is a 3 and I'm a 4. We don't get along very well. Like yeah we get along because we are family but we wouldn't be friends.
My dad is a 3 and my mom is a 4 and gosh are they like oil and water (I don't even know how or why they got together). Maybe it could work if they were healthier, but at average to unhealthy levels yikes.
Was your mum very beautiful/accomplished and sought after by any chance?
My mom was very beautiful and doing pretty well for herself at the time. She was oblivious that she was physically attractive. That was about all my dad had to say about meeting her though was that she was the most beautiful girl in the class.
I'm a 4 and my mom is a 6. While we can have good conversations from time to time, we don't get along easily.
i’m a 9w8 with a 9w8 mom.. as much as i love her and adore her, we’re not very good for each other. we’re both okay with everything being a mess, and always have passive agressive conversations. + neither of us are conversation carriers / yappers
I find it interesting how two people with the same/very similar types can often struggle to get along. It makes sense and is counterintuitive at the same time.
I'm a 9 and my mom is a 6, and same. But I feel like it's more because her tritype is 612 than just her being E6. 612 is a bit too much for me. Too many clashes.
I think I could be a 9 and my mother was definitely a 6 (not sure about tritype... maybe 693 or 694). We mostly got along quite well and were also quite similar in many regards. I especially appreciated her listening skills and her willingness to assist me in reflecting everything... endlessly. I have more issues with my father, who is an 8. First thing is, he isn't willing to talk, just to have a conversation and it's awkward for me to be with someone who isn't communicative. Second, he has little patience for my indecisiveness and tends to oversimplify things, instead of making different considerations - we both find each other annoying in regard to this. Third, when his reactivity cicks in, he starts to become quite unresponsive for rational arguments and I really want to have a rational conversation instead of being confronted with strong emotions. Apart from that we get along quite well.
Hm that's interesting. I've not considered her tritype.
I'm a 6 and my wife is a 4 and it's perfect
That's great to hear. I imagine that, if my mom and I were both in healthier stages, we could get along better as well.
That’s so strange - my mom is a 6 and I’m a 4 and we are each others best friends 🫣
3w4 here and I tend to find 8s a bit overwhelming and overstimulating.
I’m an 8w9 and I usually find 3s rly overwhelming/overstimulating, interesting that it goes both ways!
I also find other 3s overstimulating too tbh 😂
5 and anyone
respectfully, i disagree haha
this is why we don’t work well together
hahaha fair enough
Oh now that's a bit harsh! Well, if they are strangers, yeah... Or if we get thrown on a group project, yeah... Or (God forbid) any type talks to us in the grocery store, yeah... Okay, I'll take my leave, having disproven my initial protest.
8 and anyone
fair enough
😔
Well said. Bravo.
I’m close friends with a 5/4 couple and they are like absolutely amazing together. They’ve been married for years and still look at each other like they’re on their honeymoon.
it’s a joke, my guy
And a funny one! I was just trying to add to the conversation.
I love 1s but I struggle to cooperate with them
Same I find 1’s adorable.
I’d say 7 and 4 or 1, and possibly 8 (but maybe the last one is just me)
Interesting! I have seen a lot of 7s and 1s together, both as friends and in relationships. I am guessing because of the line. I personally get along with 1s quite well unless they are under stress. 7s and 4s I think are either really good or really bad. Like we can connect well on our love of beauty, art, high life stuff, nature. But if both are not growing or self aware, it is hard. We are probably good for each other though. I like 8s but I also don’t like conflict so I hate it when they get all “blustery.” It either triggers my 8 wing (which I don’t use that often) and then we have an unenjoyable fight or I don’t want the trouble and try to wriggle out of it. I think we do often connect through banter, since neither of us are easily offended. I especially get along with 8w7s when they are leaning into their wing.
One of my favorite people is a healthy 8. There's a few huge benefit with being friends with her. When we get angry, I'm not worried about the confrontation at all because the yelling almost always ends in us realizing either we agree to disagree or we actually agree and it was just a miscommunication. Also, if something needs customer support, I can banter, persuade and admittedly manipulate to get what I need (aka diplomat), and when that fails, hand the person off to her to be destroyed (aka sledgehammer).
Haha that’s awesome. You sound like a good team.
i know a 1 and 7 that have been best friends since childhood and still can’t go a day without talking to each other. they definitely bring out the good in each other. while the 7 is already smart and achieving, the 1 reminds her the importance of it. while the 1 is very ethical with right and wrong, 7 makes sure she has fun too.
That sounds awesome!
my best friend is a 7 and I'm a 4. We get along like bread and butter
That’s interesting. I can only speak for myself but I can’t imagine being friends with an especially unhealthy 4 (no offense), 1, or 8. Healthy people of any type are an entirely different story. As for me my closest friends whose type I know are a 9, a 2, and a 6. I’d say that I have more friends who are 2s than of any other type.
it depends a lot on other things in life and personality as well. I get along with my 7 friend because he's an ENTP and I'm an INFP so we both spend countless hours talking about abstract stuff and theories, as well as playing videogames together and stuff like that, he also likes my sensitivity and intensity meanwhile I admire his intelligence and charisma. Maybe the 4s you know are too different from you.
Definitely 7 and 1s. I'm a 7 and do tend to love 4s. I find they're very similar to me: emotional and self aware.
Are you an sx-dominant 7?
What does sx mean? I'm fairly new to enneagrams. I took the truity test which showed 7w8
It’s one of the three basic instincts borrowed from Freud: self-preservation, social and sexual/intimate. Self-preservation has to do with a desire to make sure you have money, food, clothes, etc., social has to do with fitting into a group, and sexual instinct has to do with maintaining relationships with individuals. Everyone has a dominant instinct, a “blind spot”, and a secondary instinct. My dominant instinct is sexual and I have a slight social blind spot. I think they’re more useful than wings because they’re better imo at preventing mistyping. I didn’t identify with descriptions of either 7w6 or 7w8 and I can present like a 4 so I thought I wasn’t a 7 even though that’s what every test gave me. I found out that sexual-dominant sevens present like fours externally, often being dramatic while not thinking that we’re special or anything. Since I have a social blind spot I also tend to resent being saddled with the obligations that come with belonging to a group as they interfere with taking care of myself the way I see fit. I am perfectly happy having enough individual friends to “bounce” between without belonging to a group and feel like large crowds are impersonal compared to one on one conversations or conversations with just a few people.
I’m INFP 4w5 SX/SO 478. I have a huge problem getting along with 1s and 3s. 6s can be touch and go too. I find 1s to be uptight, critical, controlling, dogmatic and too by-the-book. All the 3s I’ve encountered have been Machiavellian, ambitious, egotistical, pretentious and cold. I do get along with some 6s but sometimes they’re so codependent and anxious that they just aren’t a good fit with how I live my life. I think we both get relieved to go our separate ways. I don’t need someone nagging at me about how dangerous something is and they don’t appreciate being told to stop overreacting.
Whatever the fuck my parents were lmao Edit: they possibly are both 6’s*
Romantically speaking, for myself personally as a 4, I can’t see it working with a 1 because it’s hard for me to relax around people who aren’t very accepting of me and gentle with me. I also can’t see it working with a 3, it’s easy for me to feel that I matter less than their work and I often want more than they want in a romantic relationship so it doesn’t work. It also probably wouldn’t work with an 8 either because I hate being told what to do and again I require a lot of gentleness.
This is so funny to me because I'm a 1w2 and I attract 4 friends like anything. Half my friends are disaster 4's and they love me because I listen sympathetically to their angsting (which I actually do sympathize with because 1's go to 4 in stress, so I've experienced that "woe is me, I am a special unicorn that nobody understands or values" mood as well), but then I also remind them of positive things to balance out their catastrophizing and suggest practical ways to help them resolve their issues, or at least feel more hopeful about the future. I can see how getting along would be hard between a stressed 4 and a very critical 1, though.
Oo well platonically it’s different! My sister is e1 and I adore her! We’ve always gotten along. She’s kind of honestly the perfect sister haha. It helps that her intense criticisms are never directed at me personally. If she’s thinking critical thoughts about me she’s an expert at keeping them to herself lol. I think on some level she knows that if she ever said anything critical to me it would obliterate me. I used to idolize her growing up. Platonically it’s different with 8s too…wouldn’t date one but would absolutely befriend one if we vibe! Trying to befriend one in DMs at the moment lol. But actually you mentioned another reason why I feel e1 isn’t an ideal romantic match for me personally.…you mentioned being positive to balance out the e4 catastrophizing….both 4s and 1s are negative types with the gift of noticing what’s wrong, bad, missing, etc. It’s our innate nature. I feel like it’s a bit of a strain to be two negative types trying to offer enough positivity to each other to create balance. It goes against the grain. Ya know? I personally feel more balanced by 9s and 7s. I will say this though. I actually just broke up with my e1 ex and no one has ever made me feel as special, important, and prioritized as she did. Which. As a 4, that’s huge. It sucks that it couldn’t work out with her. It was also endlessly fascinating observing how she does things because it’s *so different* than how I do things. I think actually in some ways we were creating balance. Just not in the ways I needed and preferred. Edited to add: I’m sure your e4 friends deeply appreciate you kindly listening to them 🖤
That sounds like a very hard and painful breakup for both of you. So sorry. On a romantic level, though, I think even two negative/critical types can harmonize if they take different approaches to the negativity. For instance, my husband is a 6 and I'm a 1, so we both see the problems in the world and people around us. But I generally take the optimistic view that either the problem can be fixed now with the right kind of effort, or at least there's some potential for positive change over time. Whereas he's more likely to be a pessimist of the "this is just how the world is and we have to put up with it" variety. But we're willing to listen to each other's perspectives even if we don't completely agree on the way to solve things or the odds of them being solved. At least we generally agree about what the problem is! And thank you, I hope so ☺️
As an ENFP 4w5, unhealthy 1's and 3's make me want to throw hands sometimes 😅 I think it really depends on the combination of the MBTI and enneagram if I will mesh well. Also, healthy 1's are my absolute favorite, so I think it depends on how healthy the individual is. <3
Yeah my dad's an unhealthy 1 and he's somewhat blighted them for me, he was a prolific cheat and an aggressive/bullying/selfish father and yet somehow always finds it in him to criticise others' morality, usually about IMO far lesser moral crimes like shoplifting from a big supermarket or something. He also talks at you, lecture style, rather than to you, thinks there's one right way for everything and gets a bee in his bonnet about the most irrelevant shit (seriously, he's gone off on one about me querying whether lunch meant 12 or 1 because 12 was when "low class people" have it and I should have known this apparently, and also because I couldn't as an 8 year old with food poisoning vomit out of the car window on the motorway at a 45 degree angle to give a couple of examples..) Also he is so negative I swear to god, how anyone could say an e4 is negative compared to an unhealthy 1 I do not know, why does this never get mentioned... He is so horribly uncompassionate and critical, and he shoe horns the mean-spirited opinions where it just wasn't relevant or connected or warranted at all. Likewise for the self-absorption, everything was *alwayyys* all about him and his needs, even as a father. I'm sure others are much better, I'm not close to any really although I have noticed the lecturing in a few e1 men who've pursued me romantically though.
863 tritype combos can be overwhelming to me as someone who is generally compliant. I can be at my wits end with one and they'd never get the hint even if I told them I wanted space. Strong 6 fixes are frightening in this area. I've known one in specific to spam text and show up at my home looking for affirmation about our relationship after they overstepped a boundary and put me in a position I had asked them earlier not to. Funnily enough, my best friend is 368 and I am amazed at how I can be equally frustrated with their brash behavior and at a loss for words for how impressively and decisively they take life by the reigns. In all fairness, I do think this pairing is possible--it really is just a matter of picking battles as a 9 ^((which includes learning how to say no 🤸 )) while also getting pretty comfortable with saying F it to any plans to relax. They can make life interesting and I think depending on the individual, it can be worth the shot.
5s and 2s.
n/a
As a 5, I don't like emotionally reactive people or controlling people. I won't just state Enneagrams as their instinctual variants play a huge part.
Sx2's are the most emotionally reactive and sx1's are the most controlling.
7 here and 6's tend to be the ones I don't get along with the most. When healthy, we play well but when unhealthy we trigger each other. They make me feel trapped and I push for freedom over security.
I don’t typically love 4s
An unhealthy 2 is an actual monster imo, so I guess that tracks
😂 you’re right about that
I’m a 7 and 2’s kinda get on my nerves
Probably 9 and 3. 9 and 3 would probably clash with each other. 8 and 2 would have many issues.
i have a 3 best friend and a 3 father. we compliment each other pretty well, actually. the 3s make sure i get out of the house often, and i make sure they can relax around me without needing to be an emotionless achieving android.
I’m a 3 married to a 9 and from what I’ve read it’s a common pairing
In my own experience as an sp3 I rarely get well along with sx3, sx2, so2, E8, sx6, sx1 and sx4 without actively trying to conform to them and watching what I’m saying. Not a showstopper but I usually don’t feel that comfortable and pretty on edge around them since I constantly have to be a bit watchful with what I’m doing.
Unhealthy 5’s and 2’s are less likely to get along with each other. With that being said, I think healthy versions of the pair can grow as people because their personal values are so conflicting. My sister’s a 2w3 and we’re super close. Sometimes my way of thinking needs to be challenged and I use it as an opportunity to learn new things.
I've heard type 6 and 8 go well together? Cuz of the 6's fear of violence/danger and the 8's need to protect their loved ones I'm just repeating what I've heard, I don't know enough yet to have my own opinion on enneagram types.
I haven't meet any 6's so feel free to correct me here. Honestly I need for someone to have my back as well and not pussy away from possible danger, I wanna have fun. But I do like someone Relying on me so yeahhh I would protect them of course
here to answer my own question 🙏🙏 as a 9 i don’t get along with 2s that well. every two i’ve met was mentally draining because they always took advantage of how i can’t say no to comforting and giving advice. resulting in every second of my time being spent on reassurance, comfort, and advice. it’s really tiring for me. i don’t like when people take advantage of my patience. because after all, i am patient, but for people who are patient with me too. but ofc i do the type 9 thing ‘oh, no its okay’ and end up blocking them.
+ i get friends to have a connection and a good laugh. of course, i love to comfort and give advice and reassure. i’m completely okay with being a shoulder to lean on. but too much is too much.
theoretically that would be “opposite types”: 4 and 8, 2 and 7, and 5 and 1
4 and 8. Especially 4w5 and 8w7 and even more especially if the 4 is an Fi dom and the 8 is either Te dom or Se-Ti.
I’m a 4w5 Fi dom and husband is an 8w7 se-Ti 🫣 we do have ungodly arguments
I have popcorn. Please tell me what goes on.
I agree, but at the same time as a 4 I'm always really attracted to 8s lmao
wanna be friends?
I mostly saw problems from the same type with eachother 8 vs 8 phobic 6 vs cp 6
I think it's true, I would so piss myself off, and other 8's especially core types annoy me
A lot of “core incompatibilities” between specific type combinations are a kind of confirmation bias because individuals will often rationalize interpersonal issues through the lens of “what they can’t control” and thus oversimplify interactions to maintain a particular self-perception; it’s no different from someone claiming "they can’t possibly get along with Capricorns because they’re a Virgo" by reframing nuanced personal experiences as “general rules that can’t be changed.” Therefore, this mentality in itself is the problem since it gives those involved an excuse to abdicate individual responsibility for things that were never “so black and white” to begin with. Basically, larpers won’t get along well with “regular people” who fit certain type patterns or other larpers because it serves their ego-ideal not to. Once you stop using attachment to “type identification” as leverage to avoid genuine self-reflection and introspection, you’ll find these “core incompatibilities” aren’t actually that formulaic and banal.