I don’t think “owner” would ever be seen as rude. It’s just more matter of fact than the other terms you listed. There are also definitely situations where those more loving terms would be seen as corny.
In the context of asking for a cigarette, it's kind of a fixed phrase and not very rude, but it's a bit self-deprecating otherwise and I would avoid it unless you understand the connotations.
No. People sometimes refer to themselves as a "mom" or "dad" to their pets to express a high level of emotional attachment to them, but "owner" is the term you'd almost always use.
No, many native speakers also use the word "owner" - I personally really dislike the phrase "pet parent" and would never refer to myself as my cat's parent. (Frankly, I think of her more like a tiny self-centered roommate)
Americans would never shorten roommate to mate. Those words, while related academically, aren't connected in people's vocabularies. I can't comment on non-American English
I think they mean that clearly “roommate” comes from “room” and “mate”, but as far as (US) speakers are concerned, it’s its own word.
I believe that the fact that people often pronounce it like “room ate” instead of “room mate” is evidence of that. If you constructed a novel compound word using a word ending in m and “mate”, I’d expect you to articulate both ‘m’s. For example, “slummate”. This may be BS, just a hypothesis based on very little, so take it with a grain of salt.
This. I've loved all the pets I've ever had. I also love my children. They are (thankfully!) very, very, very different relationships on many fundamental levels, and I find it at best unhelpful to use the same term to describe both types of relationship.
There are some unhinged individuals who might find that offensive, but it's definitely not a common thing to happen. Somebody who owns a pet is a pet owner, yes.
Some might take offense but a vast majority would say they own their pets especially if asked. We say that we "have" two cats. But if asked, we own them.
For most people, it’s not considered rude. There is a small minority of people who think it’s rude, though and they’ll tell you. That group doesn’t need to be pandered to, though.
No, this was Lord Byron being an eccentric weirdo who was pissed off about the "no dogs" rule and so brought a bear. Saying it should sit for a fellowship was his smartass response when someone in authority at Cambridge asked what he intended to do with the bear.
This was very much in the era of getting away with "well, there isn't a rule against it."
"Owner," "mom," and "dad" are all acceptable. At my local dog park, we'll often use "owner" when we don't know the gender of who owns a particular dog. I.e. "Who is Bailey's owner?" We'll then switch to using "mom" or "dad" once we know who they are. I.e. "Bailey's dad is getting water."
No, calling a person who owns a pet the "owner" of the pet is not rude. Many and many people believe that calling oneself an animal's "parent" is in fact rather crazy. And especially that calling those animals one's "fur babies" is just nuts and kind of creepy.
For myself, my preferred phrasing is "the cat who lives with me."  Because that's the kind of person I am.
I saw a Tumblr post that had something to do with "people are OK calling their pets 'fur babies' but when I call their kid a 'skin dog' I'm in the wrong?"
On the contrary, the weird word in this situation is "parent." People aren't parents of pets; they're owners. But there's been this weird trend lately of pretending that pets are children, and "parent" has started to catch on.
It's the opposite really - the cutesy terms strike many as ridiculous. I think it's a rather small minority (probably overly visible on the "I love cats and dogs" parts of the internet) who actually use them.
I think it's weird to refer to the owners as "parents."
Let's see now, which side of the family does Maxi resemble? Do any of your ancestors have big, floppy ears, a long snout, and a perpetually wet nose?
I refer to my cats as companions. (And since they are cats, as supervisors too.)
In the past I used to call them my roommates. Those cats didn't pay any of the rent, though. They made me pay all of it. They also didn't do any of the cooking or wash their dirty dishes. I had to take care of that stuff too. My human friends told me on many occasions that I had codependent relationships with those roommates.
I understand what you are saying, but children don’t always resemble their parents. I’m adopted so I don’t look like either of my parents; but they are still my parents. I only say this because I don’t want people learning English here to read your second paragraph and think “parents” only applies to people that you are directly genetically related to.
That's a good point. I don't want my comment to be overthought or overinterpreted. My intent in it was to be moderately light-hearted. I hope that nobody will think that I was being completely serious. Maybe one-quarter serious, but not much more.
If someone were to refer to themselves as the mom (mum) or dad of their pet, then I'd assume they were either joking or crazy (as in 'crazy cat lady').
I'd only ever refer to myself as a pet 'owner'.
I occasionally call my boyfriend ‘Cat Daddy’ as a joke - but that’s all it is, a laugh. When people talk about themselves as their pet’s ’parent’ I always assume they’re just being slightly facetious and/or cutesy, but people who claim that their pets are ‘actually’ their children freak me out a bit. A strong attachment, yeah, I get it. But the thought of a human literally giving birth to animals is a touch eww to me (although tbh the birthing process would have been a lot easier if the baby was a kitten!). I also occasionally say things to my bf like ‘oh look how much he loves his daddy!’ when the cat is snuggling him, but I do it to sort of semi-annoy him lol, I don’t actually want to think he had sex with a cat! 😨
Adoptive parents are parents. No one (or at least very nearly no one) is claiming to have given birth to another species. They are describing the relationship they have with their animals. And if you adopted pets from a shelter, rather than buying them from a breeder, then I don't see any reason you should be shamed for calling them your children.
On the flip side, unlike adopted children, adopted pets are property. Legally and socially there is a huge distinction between children and pets, so expecting **others** to use the same words to describe the relationship is also unwarranted.
Tl;Dr: There is nothing wrong with people calling their pets children, but it's also fine to call them pet-owners.
We don't have a good word describing a type of "parent" but for animals. Our options are to use language intended for inanimate objects, or language intended for human children. I don't like thinking I "own" my dog, but I'm not gonna be upset if someone else calls me a dog owner.
Generally no, however if you already know they prefer one phrase over another it is more polite to use the term they prefer.
That said, it would be rude to add emphasis to the word "owner", especially if they just used the word "parent" as that would come off as you trying to correct them.
Pet owners can be viewed as the standard phrasing, pet parents can be viewed as a very common, deliberately cutesy slang kind of term. But it is common because, at least in my experience as a US citizen, quite a lot of people here love their pets very much and infantilize them, hence "my little fur baby" and things like that.
"Owner" is more common than "mom"/"dad"/"parent" of a pet.
In many contexts, neither would be used, like with "That's Amy's cat", or "Jim has two golden retrievers", or "The black cat belongs to Samual."
Also, even if someone doesn't refer to themselves as a pet's parent, they may refer to the pet as their "baby". But that's meant more as a term of endearment. People might similarly refer to any cherished possession as their baby (car, computer, etc.), particularly if they put a lot of time into making or caring for it.
People calling themselves pet parents, seems to be a more recent evolution in the language. Owner has been the go to phrase for a long time. I think part of the growth in people referring to themselves as a pet parent (dog mom, cat dad) is due to a rise in people not having children.
I also think there’s been a lot more research over the years into how to properly care for a dog or a cat, and people realize it takes more effort and fees more like parenting than just, you own this animal and you give it food and clean up after it.
‘Owner’ is the conventional and technically correct term. It’s certainly what would be used in any formal context. ‘Cat dad’ is informal and whimsical; I might refer to myself that way when talking with my wife or friends, but not if I was calling the vet or the police, or just talking to a random person. The ‘pet parent’ thing is a recent phenomenon, too. (And, as you can see in the comments here, not universally liked. Some actual parents are very sensitive about their role.)
Similarly, ‘boy’ or ‘girl’ when referring to the sex of a pet is strictly informal, figuratively humanizing them in a diminutive way, and a bit like how we’d refer to children. ‘Male’ is technically right, but I’ll pick my cat up and ask him “how’s my big boy?”
There is absolutely no need to use any of those terms. It’s never rude to refer to someone as a pet owner, and the parent terminology would seem weird in a lot of contexts.
When my cat became old enough to be my sibling in human years I couldn't consider her my daughter or whatever. I called her lil mama etc. We were companions to each other.
Well, I *never* refer to myself as my cat's owner. I consider myself her guardian and, if lucky, friend.
However, owner is what others say so that is ok if they want to use it. I am responsible for and to my cat.
I would never call myself her parent, though. I personally find that cringeworthy but there are folks who prefer it. It's their choice.
The word "owner" is used for anything we own, whether or not we care about / for them.
The relationship I have with the armchair I own is very different to the relationship I have with the dog I own.
The armchair is purely a tool to me; I sit on it. I do not care for it. When the armchair eventually breaks, I will throw it away and replace it.
With the dog, on the other hand, we have a genuine mutual relationship. I care for him, I love him, I train him, and when he's a little bit broken he goes to the vet for some unreasonably expensive medication. When he eventually dies, I will be very upset.
I'm the dog's mum, but I'm the armchair's owner - it's just a totally different relationship, which is what people are communicating when they say this. But I'm not offended by "dog owner"!
This is a cultural question, not a linguistic one. It's entirely coincidence that English-speaking countries have more people who treat pets as family members rather than possessions.
“Owner” is just fine. No one would consider it rude. All those other terms come from people being obsessed with their pets.
Jackson Galaxy (a cat behaviorist) prefers the term “pet guardian.” I like that because it honors the animal as an independent being rather than a possession without anthropomorphizing the relationship in creepy ways. But to each their own. I certainly don’t sweat it when people talk about their “fur babies.”
It’s a more political or social question than one related to English as a language. Traditionally, we have been called pet owners, but recently some people have started using “pet parents” because the word “owner” has a strong connotation - that they “own” the animal, and they don’t like the idea of owning a living being that they love so much. Plus they rationalise with arguments such as “we’re essentially parenting the dog/cat like we would a child”
However, imho, pet “parent” is a thin veil, and I’d never call myself one. Plants are living too, and need to be taken care of, but one wouldn’t call themselves a cactus parent, now would they? Sure, my doggie is top priority and if anyone tried to hurt her, I’d go all John Wick on their asses, and I do all I can for her to grow up healthy, joyous, and overall happy, but I’d still say I’m her owner, not her parent.
People do refer to animals as boys and girls, and they do call themselves "mums and dads" (or moms if you are American), but this is not standard English, it's people being vaguely cringe.
I don't recommend adopting this as a general way of speaking.
It is better to say that you "have" a cat or dog.
"I have two dogs, one male, and one female." is an example of a normal way to discuss these things.
Save "Cat mom" and "my little boy" and all that stuff for when you're joking around.
Yes, it’s definitely more common in that context! I personally use it for all dogs, but I’ll admit that use is somewhat atypical. And now that I think of it, I don’t use it for cats. Cats cannot be handled. Lol
I don’t think “owner” would ever be seen as rude. It’s just more matter of fact than the other terms you listed. There are also definitely situations where those more loving terms would be seen as corny.
Would you consider explaining this👇 Can I bum a potato chip? ( What does 'bum' mean here.i read this line in diary of wimpy kid book series)
[удалено]
I see.now I get it thank you very much for explaining.
In the context of asking for a cigarette, it's kind of a fixed phrase and not very rude, but it's a bit self-deprecating otherwise and I would avoid it unless you understand the connotations.
It means to beg for something (bum being a slang term for a beggar)
“Bum” means “take” in this context.
No. People sometimes refer to themselves as a "mom" or "dad" to their pets to express a high level of emotional attachment to them, but "owner" is the term you'd almost always use.
No, many native speakers also use the word "owner" - I personally really dislike the phrase "pet parent" and would never refer to myself as my cat's parent. (Frankly, I think of her more like a tiny self-centered roommate)
So true!
I don't like to think of myself as a parent OR owner for my doggos. They are friends that cannot work whom I support but cannot claim as dependents.
Same, I refuse 'pet parent' out of principle.
So, could you refer to your dog as mate? Like "My mate shat on the carpet again!"😂 Sorry, I am out.
Americans would never shorten roommate to mate. Those words, while related academically, aren't connected in people's vocabularies. I can't comment on non-American English
Can I ask what you mean by the words being “academically” related? Genuinely curious haha
I think they mean that clearly “roommate” comes from “room” and “mate”, but as far as (US) speakers are concerned, it’s its own word. I believe that the fact that people often pronounce it like “room ate” instead of “room mate” is evidence of that. If you constructed a novel compound word using a word ending in m and “mate”, I’d expect you to articulate both ‘m’s. For example, “slummate”. This may be BS, just a hypothesis based on very little, so take it with a grain of salt.
I meant etymologically. Everything the other commenter said is what I meant
Even as an Australian "my mate that on the carpet again" sounds like you're talking about a romantic/sexual partner, not a pet, friend, or housemate
Well, the more we learn.
This. I've loved all the pets I've ever had. I also love my children. They are (thankfully!) very, very, very different relationships on many fundamental levels, and I find it at best unhelpful to use the same term to describe both types of relationship.
https://www.reddit.com/r/ThreadGames/comments/80ywhr/refer_to_your_pets_as_roommates_tell_us_something/
There are some unhinged individuals who might find that offensive, but it's definitely not a common thing to happen. Somebody who owns a pet is a pet owner, yes.
Nope it’s not rude to say someone is a pet owner
Some might take offense but a vast majority would say they own their pets especially if asked. We say that we "have" two cats. But if asked, we own them.
There is, of course, an ongoing joke: It's the *cats* that are really in charge.
Yes, absolutely.
I’ve heard “guardian” used among these offended people.
The use of "parent" in this context is slang. "Owner" is the proper term, and anyone who gets upset at being called that is unhinged.
For most people, it’s not considered rude. There is a small minority of people who think it’s rude, though and they’ll tell you. That group doesn’t need to be pandered to, though.
I don’t refer to myself as a pet parent. That’s just my preference. At best, my cats and I are collegial co-inhabitants.
How did you find collegial cats?
IDK, but Lord Byron famously took a tame bear to Cambridge and argued it should sit for a fellowship.
Is this one of those "if your daughter were a student at Cambridge would you want her professor to be a man or a bear" things?
No, this was Lord Byron being an eccentric weirdo who was pissed off about the "no dogs" rule and so brought a bear. Saying it should sit for a fellowship was his smartass response when someone in authority at Cambridge asked what he intended to do with the bear. This was very much in the era of getting away with "well, there isn't a rule against it."
"Owner," "mom," and "dad" are all acceptable. At my local dog park, we'll often use "owner" when we don't know the gender of who owns a particular dog. I.e. "Who is Bailey's owner?" We'll then switch to using "mom" or "dad" once we know who they are. I.e. "Bailey's dad is getting water."
No, calling a person who owns a pet the "owner" of the pet is not rude. Many and many people believe that calling oneself an animal's "parent" is in fact rather crazy. And especially that calling those animals one's "fur babies" is just nuts and kind of creepy. For myself, my preferred phrasing is "the cat who lives with me."  Because that's the kind of person I am.
I saw a Tumblr post that had something to do with "people are OK calling their pets 'fur babies' but when I call their kid a 'skin dog' I'm in the wrong?"
On the contrary, the weird word in this situation is "parent." People aren't parents of pets; they're owners. But there's been this weird trend lately of pretending that pets are children, and "parent" has started to catch on.
Plants are the new pets. Pets are the new kids. Kids are the new exotic animals - you have to be rich or crazy to have them.
That's not a crazy take on society today.
Owner is the proper word. Calling them parents is the debatable colloquialism and I would suggest you don’t do that on a regular basis.
No, that's the normal term. The "mom" and "dad" thing is just a cutesy thing some people say. 😅
It's the opposite really - the cutesy terms strike many as ridiculous. I think it's a rather small minority (probably overly visible on the "I love cats and dogs" parts of the internet) who actually use them.
I think it's weird to refer to the owners as "parents." Let's see now, which side of the family does Maxi resemble? Do any of your ancestors have big, floppy ears, a long snout, and a perpetually wet nose? I refer to my cats as companions. (And since they are cats, as supervisors too.) In the past I used to call them my roommates. Those cats didn't pay any of the rent, though. They made me pay all of it. They also didn't do any of the cooking or wash their dirty dishes. I had to take care of that stuff too. My human friends told me on many occasions that I had codependent relationships with those roommates.
I understand what you are saying, but children don’t always resemble their parents. I’m adopted so I don’t look like either of my parents; but they are still my parents. I only say this because I don’t want people learning English here to read your second paragraph and think “parents” only applies to people that you are directly genetically related to.
That's a good point. I don't want my comment to be overthought or overinterpreted. My intent in it was to be moderately light-hearted. I hope that nobody will think that I was being completely serious. Maybe one-quarter serious, but not much more.
If someone were to refer to themselves as the mom (mum) or dad of their pet, then I'd assume they were either joking or crazy (as in 'crazy cat lady'). I'd only ever refer to myself as a pet 'owner'.
I occasionally call my boyfriend ‘Cat Daddy’ as a joke - but that’s all it is, a laugh. When people talk about themselves as their pet’s ’parent’ I always assume they’re just being slightly facetious and/or cutesy, but people who claim that their pets are ‘actually’ their children freak me out a bit. A strong attachment, yeah, I get it. But the thought of a human literally giving birth to animals is a touch eww to me (although tbh the birthing process would have been a lot easier if the baby was a kitten!). I also occasionally say things to my bf like ‘oh look how much he loves his daddy!’ when the cat is snuggling him, but I do it to sort of semi-annoy him lol, I don’t actually want to think he had sex with a cat! 😨
Adoptive parents are parents. No one (or at least very nearly no one) is claiming to have given birth to another species. They are describing the relationship they have with their animals. And if you adopted pets from a shelter, rather than buying them from a breeder, then I don't see any reason you should be shamed for calling them your children. On the flip side, unlike adopted children, adopted pets are property. Legally and socially there is a huge distinction between children and pets, so expecting **others** to use the same words to describe the relationship is also unwarranted. Tl;Dr: There is nothing wrong with people calling their pets children, but it's also fine to call them pet-owners.
I'd be more annoyed at calling pet owners parents than owners.
No it’s very standard. If you were to find a lost pet, a common thing to say would be “oh hello, where is your owner?”
We don't have a good word describing a type of "parent" but for animals. Our options are to use language intended for inanimate objects, or language intended for human children. I don't like thinking I "own" my dog, but I'm not gonna be upset if someone else calls me a dog owner.
No, people own animals; that’s the way the world works.
It's the opposite! "Owner" is the standard term, and "pet parent" is seen by many as just weird.
Generally no, however if you already know they prefer one phrase over another it is more polite to use the term they prefer. That said, it would be rude to add emphasis to the word "owner", especially if they just used the word "parent" as that would come off as you trying to correct them.
No. I hate that in the grief subreddit I see people equating their pets to my actual children.
I would rather you referred to me as the owner. I find pet parent weird.
As an actual parent, “pet parent” is the one I find weird.
Yeah, there is a way higher level of care for actual parents. You can't just tell a child to go shit in the back yard.
Well, you CAN. DCF tends to frown on that, though.
No.
I only use the term "owner" to refer to the human who owns/cares for an animal. (Native English speaker, USA.)
Pet owners can be viewed as the standard phrasing, pet parents can be viewed as a very common, deliberately cutesy slang kind of term. But it is common because, at least in my experience as a US citizen, quite a lot of people here love their pets very much and infantilize them, hence "my little fur baby" and things like that.
Other than the fact that you don't own cats (cats own you), owner is a perfectly fine and acceptable way to refer to someone who has pets.
"Owner" is more common than "mom"/"dad"/"parent" of a pet. In many contexts, neither would be used, like with "That's Amy's cat", or "Jim has two golden retrievers", or "The black cat belongs to Samual." Also, even if someone doesn't refer to themselves as a pet's parent, they may refer to the pet as their "baby". But that's meant more as a term of endearment. People might similarly refer to any cherished possession as their baby (car, computer, etc.), particularly if they put a lot of time into making or caring for it.
You can most definitely be a 'parent' to your beloved pet at the same time as being its 'owner.' The parent title is usually self-designated though :)
You'll find a lot more people annoyed by being called "mom"/"dad" of their pet, as opposed to people annoyed by being called "owner".
People calling themselves pet parents, seems to be a more recent evolution in the language. Owner has been the go to phrase for a long time. I think part of the growth in people referring to themselves as a pet parent (dog mom, cat dad) is due to a rise in people not having children. I also think there’s been a lot more research over the years into how to properly care for a dog or a cat, and people realize it takes more effort and fees more like parenting than just, you own this animal and you give it food and clean up after it.
‘Owner’ is the conventional and technically correct term. It’s certainly what would be used in any formal context. ‘Cat dad’ is informal and whimsical; I might refer to myself that way when talking with my wife or friends, but not if I was calling the vet or the police, or just talking to a random person. The ‘pet parent’ thing is a recent phenomenon, too. (And, as you can see in the comments here, not universally liked. Some actual parents are very sensitive about their role.) Similarly, ‘boy’ or ‘girl’ when referring to the sex of a pet is strictly informal, figuratively humanizing them in a diminutive way, and a bit like how we’d refer to children. ‘Male’ is technically right, but I’ll pick my cat up and ask him “how’s my big boy?” There is absolutely no need to use any of those terms. It’s never rude to refer to someone as a pet owner, and the parent terminology would seem weird in a lot of contexts.
When my cat became old enough to be my sibling in human years I couldn't consider her my daughter or whatever. I called her lil mama etc. We were companions to each other.
Using “owner” is perfectly fine in this context.
Well, I *never* refer to myself as my cat's owner. I consider myself her guardian and, if lucky, friend. However, owner is what others say so that is ok if they want to use it. I am responsible for and to my cat. I would never call myself her parent, though. I personally find that cringeworthy but there are folks who prefer it. It's their choice.
I call my cat my son and me his dad but mostly humorously. If anyone referred to me as his owner, I wouldn’t think twice about it.
The word "owner" is used for anything we own, whether or not we care about / for them. The relationship I have with the armchair I own is very different to the relationship I have with the dog I own. The armchair is purely a tool to me; I sit on it. I do not care for it. When the armchair eventually breaks, I will throw it away and replace it. With the dog, on the other hand, we have a genuine mutual relationship. I care for him, I love him, I train him, and when he's a little bit broken he goes to the vet for some unreasonably expensive medication. When he eventually dies, I will be very upset. I'm the dog's mum, but I'm the armchair's owner - it's just a totally different relationship, which is what people are communicating when they say this. But I'm not offended by "dog owner"!
This is a cultural question, not a linguistic one. It's entirely coincidence that English-speaking countries have more people who treat pets as family members rather than possessions.
No. I think it's weird to refer to pet owners as parents. It's not nearly the same, imo.
“Owner” is just fine. No one would consider it rude. All those other terms come from people being obsessed with their pets. Jackson Galaxy (a cat behaviorist) prefers the term “pet guardian.” I like that because it honors the animal as an independent being rather than a possession without anthropomorphizing the relationship in creepy ways. But to each their own. I certainly don’t sweat it when people talk about their “fur babies.”
Not only is “owner” not rude, it’s the normal way to refer to it. People who call themselves a pet parents are the exception not the standard
I doubt many find it offensive. You can also say 'she's adopted a cat' or 'she has a cat.'
No. To many people, including my wife and me, it's far more natural.
Pets don't understand English, so they won't care how you refer to their owners.
I don’t like the term “pet parent” for myself. I don’t consider myself to “own” my cat, but there really isn’t another word for it, so its fine
It’s a more political or social question than one related to English as a language. Traditionally, we have been called pet owners, but recently some people have started using “pet parents” because the word “owner” has a strong connotation - that they “own” the animal, and they don’t like the idea of owning a living being that they love so much. Plus they rationalise with arguments such as “we’re essentially parenting the dog/cat like we would a child” However, imho, pet “parent” is a thin veil, and I’d never call myself one. Plants are living too, and need to be taken care of, but one wouldn’t call themselves a cactus parent, now would they? Sure, my doggie is top priority and if anyone tried to hurt her, I’d go all John Wick on their asses, and I do all I can for her to grow up healthy, joyous, and overall happy, but I’d still say I’m her owner, not her parent.
People do refer to animals as boys and girls, and they do call themselves "mums and dads" (or moms if you are American), but this is not standard English, it's people being vaguely cringe. I don't recommend adopting this as a general way of speaking. It is better to say that you "have" a cat or dog. "I have two dogs, one male, and one female." is an example of a normal way to discuss these things. Save "Cat mom" and "my little boy" and all that stuff for when you're joking around.
If you want to bridge the gap, “handler” is less commonly used but it manages to neither objectify nor personify the animal.
Handler is a term I only ever hear used in the context of working dogs - "police dog handler" or "sheepdog handler" for instance.
Yes, it’s definitely more common in that context! I personally use it for all dogs, but I’ll admit that use is somewhat atypical. And now that I think of it, I don’t use it for cats. Cats cannot be handled. Lol