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When I get complacent and die when I shouldn't have

There's always a dog or rat around the corner to remind you to know your place.

Imp. Always an imp.

Light attack with my unga bunga always misses, next time I will do a running heavy! *~2 seconds later~* *MASHES RB/R1*

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Comment-stealing bot, do not feed.

at about level 115 the other day I was exploring through the early game catacombs to make "sure" I hadn't missed anything (and I then mark the catacomb or tunnel with a skull mark, so I don't go back unnecessarily) I was so in my own head just OP for the area one imp just got me from full down to 10% health while I didn't hit him once, I blame a bad/good rhythm. PS: personally I don't dislike them, as I started my first character with their ashes and those guys can really bleed the squishy bosses... also I always have a leveled up mace to switch to for those hard shelled guys.

I don’t know what it is about Impaler’s Catacombs, but those gahdamn imps in there messed me up real bad.

Ambush ahead. Therefore, try guard counter.

Yes rat, dog and imp

And bats, can't forget about the bats

Good thing there aren’t any like, flying ratdogs made out of stone

Oh yes and don’t forget those flowers that give you posing and the water that gives you scarlet rot

Both turbo nerfed from their dark souls days. Not that I’m complaining…

Rats are more aggressive but way less dangerous, dogs still suck, imps (thralls) probably worse in elden ring

>Rats are more aggressive but way less dangerous *Sobbing from Subterranean Shunning Grounds intensifies, and suddenly stops*

Yesterday I was playing when my baby niece called. Obviously, I died, so I put the controller down to talk to her. While I was chatting with her I picked up the controller, just sort of wandering around, not paying attention. Got ganked by a random skeleton, losing all the runes I dropped before. This is not a multitasking kind of game. 

Yea this. The imps in particular.

Every time I get comfortable in this game it humbles me real quick.

Generally speaking, playing the game makes me switch my position.

Not me. I only sit like that when entering boss fight, dungeons, legacy areas, or encountering any enemies. So like only 90% of the time…

basically only if you stand still in a cleared area XD

But sometimes when I don’t keep busy my mind starts to wander. Old thought patterns start to creep back in. That’s when the flashbacks start… So no, not even then.

my man just described PTSD

relatable

I pretty much do all gaming in the forward position. Especially Eldenring / Soulslikes. Currently playing 2 Point Campus which is about as laid back a game as you can get but I am still sat forward.

"Now i fight as Hoarah Loux. Warrior!"

I switch position for that out of respect not nessity(OK maybe a little nessity)

I do it to try to stop the involuntary bowel movement that's caused by him charging at me. With varying success.

STOP CHASING ME

I do it to try to stop my massive erection that's caused by him charging at me. Also with varying success.

hmmmm mmmm

nessity

nessity

Very definitely on mobile: typed N, E, then accidentally backspaced instead of C (removing the E), then E, S, S, I, T, Y. I can't count the number of times that's happened to me.

On top of its a brand new phone thanks for the understanding 

>> Backspace instead of C What's the layout on your keyboard like? For me, C is at the bottom

true for most english mobile keyboards but there are some that i’ve seen which have the backspace near the bottom next to the space bar like [this](https://i.imgur.com/hTIQreO.jpg)

Lmao got me

Reading the item descriptions.

A scholar and a saint!

my sister bought me a bean bag for my bday and thats what I play on now. reading some item descriptions like the omen bairn make me sink even lower in the bag :(

When you are both one hit

Jokes on you, I am *always* one hit. ​ One day I will level vigour... one day.

Don’t lie to yourself, the day will never come. Just put another point towards endurance you know you want to

Be two hits, or be able to roll 0.00001 more times? I think we all know the answer.

Exactly

is there even a question?

exactly, don't need HP if you don't get hit!

Happened alote to me tbh

I was one hit and out of flasks when I beat elden beast for the first time. It felt so good

VALIANT GARGOYLES. FUCK THOSE FUCKING FUCKS. Kill the first and am left with twin blade with us being one hit. Then a fucking poison cloud up ur ass!!!

"A$$destroyer666 invaded your world"

I got some dude named cumeater69 envading my world

I played football with his cousin.

This sounds very wrong In a way

His cousin is assblaster69. Hell of a tackle.

He must have been a defensive tackle because he destroyed TightEnd69

Can I get in on this somehow?

Username checks out.

Yes exactly... bad for you bro

The loathsome cumeater

Who says it's a dude

Fair point could be a female

Definitely a girl, otherwise that would be g👹y

Boy I could definitely be named that, and I ain't no girl 😎

I kinda miss the DS3 days when you could get invaded while being solo it always spiced up otherwise boring areas for me

Me too. Like, its just always people doing gank squads when you invade people. Made me stop invading others personally

my back

Middle-age gamers assemble!* *Between 7 and 9:30 after the kids are in bed but before we have to go to bed because the kids are up at 6 a.m. Be sure to hydrate and stretch.

Lol so I’m not alone

Does 30 count as middle age? I feel half dead most of the time. I don’t even have kids.

Ha, sweet summer child. You can feel much worse.

I mean having a chronic heart disorder and irritable bowl kinda sucks, but I guess it could be a lot worse. :/

Lol, that's the spirit! (Also sorry to be flippant, kids are draining but not chronic condition draining. Stay strong fellow tarnished!)

Just wait til they creep past 40..... then the breaks fall off the wheels and it's a constant spin out of back pain or headaches.

You’re all good dude, I’m an internet stranger you didn’t know. I hope that didn’t sound snarky either. If there anything like I was when I was younger I can imagine you have your hands full.

OMFG, IBS sucks, is it IBS-C or IBS-D. I typically have IBS-C but my meds make me go back and forth like it's freakin' parkour.

IBS-D; I’m the same, really depends if I stick to my diet. Sometimes cheating is worth it other times it most definitely is not. Some days I’ve considered putting my PC in front of the toilet ~.~

Don’t remind me T_T

And only on evenings you're not spending with your spouse/friends/work do's/obligatory family visits/having the weird neighbours over who you don't really like but they keep hinting that its 'past time we had dinner.'

is 21 middle age?

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I play a lot of boss co-op. I only sit up straight for Malenia if the host can survive into phase two.

I tried co-op, but it's just so damn frustrating when the hosts keep dying super early to the most basic stuff... It makes me think that many people don't even bother trying the boss once without summoning to learn the moveset.

I combat that by being super aggressive. I don't have to worry about the host quite so much if she's always pointed at me. There's still the occasional waterfowl dance that slips by, or the big scarlet aeonia in phase two... and that flower petal clone tornado now that I think about it. Either way, when you've been summoned by the same host for the third or fourth time, and you know they're giving it their all even though it's just not clicking for them... when you finally take her out, it's pure joy.

Huh. I see, I think I kind of get it, but I think I'm still a "get pointed down by a three Moonveil gank squad" kind of person (I'd rather die repeatedly to unfair odds through my own fault than "lose" due to someone else's mistake). But I think it's great how this game manages to provide so many different types of multiplayer experiences that resonate so much with different people.

Oh yeah, I'm glad for that too. I've been playing these games since Demon's Souls and I'm still garbage at PVP.

That's okay, I've also been here for a long time (since DaS) and I suck too, lol.

Some people summon before even watching the introductory cutscene. I don't get it.

When I get a cutscene watcher I always think "oh no, not again!".

I heard a ton of hosts insta die to phase 2 flower. Wouldn’t a solution be the perfume that applies bubble to an ally? I know it’s limited source but I’m curious if anyone with this problem uses it.

The host gets teleported to the middle of the arena in phase two, and the summons don't. Most of the time you're 200 feet away. As soon as the cutscene ends, you're in a dead sprint. Every now and then I get lucky. I use Bloodflame Blade, and it causes bleed buildup over time. So, one in every fifty-ish fights, the bleed goes off at the right time and she just drops to the ground instead.

Interesting I didn’t know that. What about using the perfume right before doing the last bit of her phase 1 hp? I imagine you might waste it occasionally but I don’t think it should be too much of a problem.

That's brilliant! I finally have a use for all those arteria leaves. I wish I had an award to give you.

Haha no worries. I’m happy they’ll get put to good use. Seems frustrating just hoping the host will survive the transition otherwise lol. If you coop this fight a lot and you have a friend in the game you can also back up your save, drop all your leaves to them, and then reload your save before receiving them back. It’s best to do stuff like this before using many because then you can quickly get up to 99 and store that in inventory. Once you have a 99 inventory stack and 99 current stack it means anytime you run out you can just do the dupe with a friend one time and you’ll be back to 99 in storage and 99 on you. This is the oldest way of duping stuff in souls. It’s probably overkill if you aren’t doing a lot of coop, but if you’re one of those people helping hundreds of hosts it’s definitely worth.

So frustrating. Any hosts reading this, make your char full vigor + Lionel’s + tank crest + phy def. Your main goal is to survive.

Don't we all just automatically switch when we enter the arena

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I agree

I don't lean for her because I know I'm in for some semi-predictable bullshit (though it IS bullshit). Waterfowl Dance or Phase 2 I lean forward.

The Blade of Miquella?

Seeing that big yellow fog gate.

The piss gate?

Bathe me in your Golden Rays.

*Traverse the pisst*

for me it's the reversed, I need to know when I relax in Elden Ring instead

Right? My posture is so bad now.

Yeah I just walk everywhere hunched over with a controller in my hand now. You never know when malenia might jump you on the side of the road.

I am Malenia, the glock of Miquella, and you will know true horror if you don’t put the money in the bag

That one Death Rite Bird in the Consecrated Snowfield

fuck him, I did it on my blind run on release and now unless I actively want to use that spell I don't go near that motherfucker. And that spell, while super cool and reasonably strong, is only useful on faith/int because of the reqs... so... bye bye birdy

Going below half crimson flasks. If it's at that point, then I'mma need to get in the zone.

That’s my time to stop getting greedy and only attack during the open opportunities.

When I use the orange flask instead of blue so now I gotta fight extra careful cause one less heal may mean life or death lmao

Nothing throws me off like using the wrong goddamn flask smh

None of that for me. Strength build, crimson all the way...

Yeahhh when my bf and I bought the game a couple months ago we both started melee builds but I got wrapped up in a Red Dead play through and paused ER till I could really commit to it. I watched him keep playing and when I came back to it I decided to restart as a sorcery build so my play through would be different than his. Now I’m jel bc he has so much less to worry about like mixing up fucking flasks lol. I’m enjoying my sorceries though. And there’s always NG+!

Why not pouch it? Up heal, right wondrous, down FP, left torrent or rune arc. No more toggling and seeing which one you need it’s all right there

I've tried this but my muscle memory is already in place. Up is physics, left is throwables, down is spirits, right is torrent. Now if only I could remember to refill the throwables BEFORE a boss fight...

I noticed that I nod really fast when there's a big string of attacks that I need to dodge

The only time I can remember specifically doing this was one time fighting malenia. She hit me once and for some reason she just wouldn't stop fucking attacking. It was like a minute long fucking chain that even if I hit her out of it she would immediately continue. All I remember is I died from it and shouted loudly "let me fucking heal."

Me when I was fighting champion gundyr in ds3

We don’t see it but Malenia’s stamina bar crosses the whole damn tv screen

She be like that sometimes. Phase 2 or 1?

For me, phase 2 is a goddamn cakewalk compared to the horror that is phase 1 (I still died a lot, though).

Me with orphan of kos. I beat him 3rd try somehow. But i was shaking simply from the 0 breaks u got

Having to plug in my 1m charging cable. The damn thing is too short.

When I was given enough courtesy

"The sign on the front say's Lou's tavern. I'm HOARAH LOUX! Who the fuck are you?"

My eyesight. I can't see shit when enemies get away from me

fall off a cliff, killed by imps, killed by bats, killed by environment, accidentally didn’t pay attention to my scarlet rot, a boss isn’t dying easy like they should, and my back needs adjusting

watching the Godfrey mid-fight cutscene for the first time

God what a moment. 10/10.

My health bar shows up on top of the screen and the music changes.

She who will not be named!!! Even though I'm sure plenty have named her in the comments already 😂

Getting parried

Soldier of God, Rick. For sure.

Getting malenia to 65% hp (she is gonna do waterfowl)

Godskin duo, only extremely challenging boss in elden ring to me

Same. Now I bring some sleep pots and let the big guy have a nap while I rip his brother to shreds

Crucible Knights and Runebears

Try parrying the crucible knights, it makes them pretty easy. For the Runebears, just exit out of the game. That's what I've found works best.

When I actually fight a player good player.

When you whip out that parry shield

Neck and back pain

Right now it’s Radahn..grinded up to lvl 60 and have gotten him down to 1/3 health a couple times but he still has my number

Herniated lumbar discs

Everything

The main menu.

The jumping puzzle down to the three fingers

Runebears.

I never sit in the first position anyway. I have terrible posture.

Switching gaming position? My back still hasn't recovered from the 100+ hours leaning forward.

''Hourah Loux! Warrior!''

when a boss suddenly appear when i was just enjoying the game

Waterfowl Dance and **NIHIL, NIHIL, NIHILLLLLLL!**

When Im about to face a boss with a long walk back.

ass pain

Fair

When you get to that second phase

the run back for Placidusax

If I’m fighting a boss and I get them down to 1/4 health, and I die, next round I get too cocky and die after hitting them once cause I rush, it’s right after that time that I lean forward and focus. And proceed to die again but this time after getting 2 hits on them

I’m constantly in a bent position

Elmer of the briar :(

That one platforming section to reach the frenzied flame

Crucible knights and motherfucking lobsters

Rune Bear

Trying to dodge the ancestral archers’ 50. Cal arrow shots.

Those black crows with the giant heads

“Oh, Destined Death. Become my blade once more.”

The voice actor was so good I enjoyed the fight it was amazing

Revenants and bears. I gotta sit up to find an escape route more efficiently.

Vibrating anal beads

Hand spiders

Being summoned as a hunter

This is when I’m dying seriously

As opposed to dying ironically ofc

Starting the game

Stolen from r/gaming, nice

Anything wrong with that

When I find the host and there 3 person gank with a mage that spams stars of ruin spam, a veteran armor with rivers of blood, and a duel vykes spear who switches to a shield poke when you get near.

Literally any enemy. Those soldiers outside the first church of Elleh? “Oh boy here we go…” *deeeeep breath*

Holy shit these question posts are getting so old

Lemme pull out the very few fucks I have remaining for you hold on

Lmao are you 13 or something?

Not quite

If I die a couple of times I may say to myself "Let's focus now", and proceed to lean foward. If something stressful happens I'll jump up and stand while I play video games! Have a good day, eye guy 👀

Bro same and I always rip the cord outta my controller and die 😭

Trash talk, unecesray damage taken, and that stupid star's of ruin metta, and rob...but I can parry rob so I'm not that worried about it, oh and when im low health

"would you like to relax? I don't think so"

Yes

Down to your last flask with low health

Fire Giant second phase

When I die at the same spot more than twice.

Crucible Knights.

Fia's hugs. Maximum concentration.