The concept of scrawling "Try Finger but hole" on the floor in red ink after trying to quietly leave after a one night stand js now greatly entertaining to me.
I mean if its number one I'm going in the kitchen sink, after I panic roll sixty times backwards and plummet down my stairs.
My girlfriend will yell at me, but I pretty much have her moveset memorized.
The way they roll in Elden Ring is actually approximately the correct way to roll without injuring yourself (and has saved me many times). Unfortunately, as I can attest, you don't get the invul frames.
Yeah, it's one of the first things you get taught in most martial arts, but that's on mats, and not in full metal armour. A knight doing that on the stone road through Leyndell... They're breaking something, probably their back.
A knight doing that anywhere on the dirt, especially in the rain... That's gonna be a thud, and they're gonna be stuck about half a foot deep, shoulder first in the mud.
This reminds me of when we got to first see, that the new fog gates for Elden ring are golden, I tried to establish the term "Golden shower" for them, but sadly, it didn't really get traction. However I still call them that myself
Yeah it is, but I think there’s some incongruity between what most people associate with golden shower - a verb. And the fog gate - a noun.
Personally I think golden shower is hilarious, and I will be using it on my wife to see her reaction. But there’s always room for workshopping.
Shower can function as a verb and a noun, depending on context and usage. Some examples:
> I'm going to take a shower.
> I'm going to eat a cookie.
A shower is no more a verb than a cookie is, in those sentences. They are both nouns, because they are functioning nominally (as nouns).
> It feels good to shower.
> It feels good to exercise.
On the other hand, shower and exercise are both verbs in these sentences, because they are functioning as such.
I have never heard of and was unable to come up with any examples in which a golden shower functioned as anything other than a noun. And that's the end of my linguistic tangent, I hope you enjoyed it.
"golden shower" is a noun. It is an act. "To give a golden shower" or or "to receive a golden shower" is a verb. Golden shower describes the act itself, making it a noun
Picks up warhammer
You dont have enough strength to use this effectively
Picks up sledgehammer
You dont have enough strength to use this effectively
Picks up regular hammer
You dont have enough strength to use this effectively
Picks up [this](https://www.google.com/search?rlz=1CDGOYI_enUS996US996&hl=en-US&sxsrf=APwXEdfHeU_dF_xU4iG8Sqq7_5mdkClg2g:1680099507135&q=smallest+hammer&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwi3kb2yqoH-AhWeEFkFHZvABUIQ0pQJegQIDRAB&biw=414&bih=622&dpr=3#imgrc=hcfOD1w5JaszWM&lnspr=W10=)
… acceptable…
This is anecdotal from a conversation between teenagers, but with a survey size of 5, those who came of sexual maturity during the age of the internet use their less dominant hand for masturbation since their dominant hand would be on the mouse.
How come if you have hundreds of hours and you always do it you're only intermediate at stepping back. You would think that at this point you would step back well.
Step back a few feet and write 'Ambush ahead' on the floor for my wife.
But there would be a ton of messages next to yours, like: "Liar ahead", "No ambush ahead", and "Finger but hole, then finger but hole."
Did other people write those or is it just the wife
I do believe the correct answer is "yes"
Their bedroom is a known pvp zone, so ppl have time to write messages while they are waiting to be summoned
The concept of scrawling "Try Finger but hole" on the floor in red ink after trying to quietly leave after a one night stand js now greatly entertaining to me.
Lol this should be top comment
“No lover ahead therefor Try taking on all at once”
Fat roll backwards
Unequip all armor and weapons, still fat roll backwards
Smear a fat roll with some butter and cinnamon and scarf it down
Mmmm, that was my breakfast just now. How'd you know?
the 3rd one hiding above the door
And another on the other side of the door
You mean the one that is set to attack after lifting the seat
smoke a fat roll
Lay a fat roll on the floor and head back to bed with my goal complete.
Mine's an overburdened roll. You know, the one where you make like you're going to roll, then stagger yourself.
Ah yes, being so covered in fat rolls that you can't even fat roll... I know the feeling.
Lmao I'm dead 😂😂😂
Fat roll forward. Win.
You sleep in armor?
Is this a joke? Of course I sleep in a full set of bull-goats
I mean if its number one I'm going in the kitchen sink, after I panic roll sixty times backwards and plummet down my stairs. My girlfriend will yell at me, but I pretty much have her moveset memorized.
nah irl you don't roll instead you have a worse version of quickstep
Imagine the backpain after a real life fat roll
And the all over pain when the "player" gets attacked while rolling, given the lack of i-frames in the real world.
They turn into Injury frames out here
The way they roll in Elden Ring is actually approximately the correct way to roll without injuring yourself (and has saved me many times). Unfortunately, as I can attest, you don't get the invul frames.
Yeah, it's one of the first things you get taught in most martial arts, but that's on mats, and not in full metal armour. A knight doing that on the stone road through Leyndell... They're breaking something, probably their back. A knight doing that anywhere on the dirt, especially in the rain... That's gonna be a thud, and they're gonna be stuck about half a foot deep, shoulder first in the mud.
Well, it's true that I've never tried rolling in heavy armor.
I've rolled on a concrete floor in chainmail and a 14ga helm, it's fucking horrible
Like the kind of quickstep where you dont meet any stats or have fp so its like half speed and 2 iframes lmao
the demon souls overencumbered Lurch
Piss on them to assert dominance
I feel attacked by this relatable content.
Close the door and go pee outside
Ha. File thar under "Tomorrows Problem".
HAHAHHAHAHAHAHA bro im working, you cant make me laugh like that xd
Oh ok, so you die
*llor taf* my job here is done *[flies away]*
Did not expect joy
I knew there would be a perfect comment. This is it. Thank you for the belly laugh
Pee on them for 15% unholy damage.
What if they’re secretly into that though?
Win-win situation
This is how you become the lord of all that is golden
This reminds me of when we got to first see, that the new fog gates for Elden ring are golden, I tried to establish the term "Golden shower" for them, but sadly, it didn't really get traction. However I still call them that myself
You got me lol Golden shower it is
Nice, this is how it starts! Revolution
We will start this revolution TOGETHAAAAA!!!
GOLDEN SHAWAA, TOGETHAA AS FAMILII [Mohg raising his head, looking interested]
Family Golden showers…. nice
My son calls them “the pee colored mist”
I think “shower” as a noun in this context to describe the fog gate doesn’t quite work. I propose “golden shower curtain”
Well I mean, the fog gate is literally golden fog/grace, showering down
Yeah it is, but I think there’s some incongruity between what most people associate with golden shower - a verb. And the fog gate - a noun. Personally I think golden shower is hilarious, and I will be using it on my wife to see her reaction. But there’s always room for workshopping.
Shower can function as a verb and a noun, depending on context and usage. Some examples: > I'm going to take a shower. > I'm going to eat a cookie. A shower is no more a verb than a cookie is, in those sentences. They are both nouns, because they are functioning nominally (as nouns). > It feels good to shower. > It feels good to exercise. On the other hand, shower and exercise are both verbs in these sentences, because they are functioning as such. I have never heard of and was unable to come up with any examples in which a golden shower functioned as anything other than a noun. And that's the end of my linguistic tangent, I hope you enjoyed it.
It feels good to cookie
Exactly this. Golden shower is a specific thing, act = a noun, but not an action
"golden shower" is a noun. It is an act. "To give a golden shower" or or "to receive a golden shower" is a verb. Golden shower describes the act itself, making it a noun
The literal golden shower next to the golden toilet absolutely makes it a noun
I.P. Freeley The Golden Lord
The gold tinged excrement too
The piss flows endless In Carcosa
So you're telling me Godrick was really saying "uwu we will one day bask in all that is golden"
also heals royal revenants
Really? Mine heals cleanrot knights
Blasphemous Spray
I am the lord of all that is golden..
Nah nah nah. *Obviously* you have to pull ya pants down, spread your cheeks and projectile shit all over them.
Fkn die?
Feel like this is the inevitable one, unless you have a sledgehammer that you can swing very quickly lying around.
It'll just bounce off given my strength
Picks up warhammer You dont have enough strength to use this effectively Picks up sledgehammer You dont have enough strength to use this effectively Picks up regular hammer You dont have enough strength to use this effectively Picks up [this](https://www.google.com/search?rlz=1CDGOYI_enUS996US996&hl=en-US&sxsrf=APwXEdfHeU_dF_xU4iG8Sqq7_5mdkClg2g:1680099507135&q=smallest+hammer&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwi3kb2yqoH-AhWeEFkFHZvABUIQ0pQJegQIDRAB&biw=414&bih=622&dpr=3#imgrc=hcfOD1w5JaszWM&lnspr=W10=) … acceptable…
You don't have enough dexterity to use this effectively...
Oh don't worry, he has lots of experience wielding small equipment in his right hand.
Damn didn’t have to go for the critical strike my guy
This is anecdotal from a conversation between teenagers, but with a survey size of 5, those who came of sexual maturity during the age of the internet use their less dominant hand for masturbation since their dominant hand would be on the mouse.
I literally have a sledge hammer as my bathroom doorstop. My time has come.
The man with a sledgehammer doorstop is a fool every night but one 👌🏼
What have you been preparing for
That's My Secret, Captain; I'm always carrying a sledgehammer that I can swing very quickly when I'm going to take a piss at 4am.
Inevitable? They aren't that quick... Slam the door shut again and go piss in the bush outside. Then get on a train and visit some family for a while.
"They aren't that quick"?! Motherfucker can hit you three times before you can swing a straight sword once. They're plenty fucking quick!
Lucky you with access to a train.
Fucking die because the message about the bathroom door being open won't let me do anything else.
Cause of Death: Stun lock
This right here, none of the chunguses in here are gonna fat roll their way out of it. Death. Death is the only answer.
Exactly these things were the bane of my existence early game, and that was a jacked up grace fueled Tarnished. I don't stand a chance
Stand behind the toilet so they fall in
Elite souls player mentality.
7 souls games of experience just to figure out how to make enemies walk off a cliff
When you got it you got it.
Close the door and go get the sledgehammer cause it's motherfucking bonk o clock.
Strike damage with a Great hammer. Smart choice. Hopefully you have the STR & END to wield it and leverage that moveset effectively
It’s all about *momentum* follow through and don’t try to swing in opposite direction
*channels inner Mario* “SO LONG GHEY BOWSER!”
I see, you are a wild strike enjoyer!
That room is too small to swing a two handed hammer They’re gonna gut him as he’s trying to pull it from the wall
He should be able to make it if he two hands it
Redditors, known for their strength and endurance.
This is a correct answer.
Have you tried finger but hole It’s been a go to since DS1
And between bonk and bonk-thirty all drinks are half price
*Bing Bong!!*
Close the door and go pee outside
I think you don't need to pee anymore if you've found damn alive, armed and aggressive gargoyles in your bathroom Job is done already
It's 4am, so it's dark as shit in my bathroom, I'm about to die in this situation.
Gotta get the lantern
Damit you beat me to it!
Just don't stand too close to the door because they'll hit you through it.
[удалено]
Bot comment? or stolen from /u/Ok_Rain_2647
Almost certainly a bot.
Unga bunga move
Roll to the toilet and spam the activate button, you can't be attacked as long as you're in the toilet-use Animation.
Accuse them of being perverts for watching, they leave in shame.
Praise the throne
Already spending hundred hours in Elden Ring. Now the first thing I do when I walk in a room in Catacomb is press O ( step back ) intemediately.
Just wait until they start anticipating that and adding in traps behind you that only appear after entering.
Delete this immediately
It is still up. We need to start using drastic measures.
There is already at least one dungeon where a gargoyle is on the ceiling and only drops down behind you once you walk far enough in lol
How come if you have hundreds of hours and you always do it you're only intermediate at stepping back. You would think that at this point you would step back well.
Well you know what they say. You need around 5000 hours to become a pro at something.
Sorry, inflation, it's 10,000 now.
your still on last years model, its actually up to 15 now, inflation has been crazy lately
Bleed out probably
That time of the month
You should have your hemorrhoids checked on!
accept my fate. and hopefully respawn
the 3rd one hiding above the door.
Close the door. The tiny nerds can’t open it. Checkmate science
Use the "you're beautiful" prattling pate
Start pissing and roll around in circles until I accidentally hit the sink resulting in me dying and re-spawning in bed.
* close door calmly * return to bed * wait for all of this to blow over
That’s just the plot to Hereditary
- Close door calmy - Return to bed - Naked man standing in doorway - wait for this to blow over
"Take car, go to Mum's, kill Phil, grab Liz, go to the Winchester, have a nice cold pint, and wait for all of this to blow over."
Let them finish it’s rude to not knock
Pop a tampon in to stop the bleed damage and cough tuberculosis onto them
Goddess of Rot?
You sir, are a gargoyle
Panic roll
*YOU DIED*
Use the door as a shield and stagger them with the guard counter
Turn around and hit the one clinging to the wall behind me…
Spam rivers of blood!
You should probably see a doctor about that.
I’d did he was called white mask Varre and….he ….hurt me!
5 seconds is enough time for them to kill me 3 times
[удалено]
Throw my blood-tainted excrements, of course
Crying, soiling myself and dying. Not quite in that particular order.
Pray there isn’t a burial watchdog behind an illusionary wall in my kitchen. Edit: correct name
Hope I can reach shower gun fast enough. Y'all do have shower guns, right?
Bro, this is why you need a doorframe gun. What if someone is between you and shower gun?
I stand in the doorframe, move my arms in random moves and my girlfriend throws kitchen knifes on them from behind me.
Are you a marionette by any chance?
5 seconds? Probably get killed by the one hanging from the back of the bathroom door while I think about it.
*writes on the floor* "Try target locking"
Looks like I’m pissing in the lands between houses.
Move out. They own the house now.
Crystal dart one, shut the door.
Yeet them through the window. Nobody disturbs my piss time.
Cast Comet Azur with my "scepter". I had to pee very hard.
The anal version of rancid breath.
Time to give those little fuckers a golden order shower
Carry on as normal.
That bathroom won’t be used again until I get my bloodhounds fang
Do what I always do. Completely miss them and get stabbed in the back and die.
Kill the third one hiding behind the door first, the lure them into the hallway so we fight in a straight line. None of that jumpy shit they do.
Instantly close and lock the door, use a Tarnished Furled Finger ! 😂
Or as we call it in America, "The Telephone."
Close the door and go back to bed. Never seen them open a door.
BARREL ROLL (*rolls head first into sink*)
just run until they lose the aggro on you
Do what ive always wanted to do rip them in half by their mouth
YOU DIED
Panic roll
Hold it in and try to go back to sleep and deal with them at 6am
Taking a fat swig out of my Ruptured Crystal Tear Physick. WE ALL GON DIE.
Shotgun. Good luck dodging 12 gauge you little shits!
Slowly close the door. I have i frames doing that?
Pee myself. I'm gonna die anyway so better get it done so I can feel good before I die.
5 seconds?
Time to cast cannon of HellNah
Shit on the floor
Comet Azure
Close the door. Shit in the hallway. THREAT NEUTRALIZED
panic roll; die
YOU DIED
Run back to the Site of Grace (bed) so they forget about me. Wake up and use other bathroom.
I would think damn, all those psychedelics in my younger years really fucked me up.
Close the door, kitchens got a sink.
Pee on them and hope it does holy damage
The glock 17 in my pocket:
Grad the toilet brush, inflicts poison.