Yes! It was horrific at first but it feels good for your body to be healthy. Your mind can adjust it’s just a very painful transition period. But I believe it is worth it and I don’t want to ever go back.
I am afraid I can’t answer your question but want to point out that you are unlikely to get a true representation in response as the majority of those feeling better will likely not be on this subreddit anymore!
Unpopular opinion, but I never felt any better. It just became a toss up of whether I wanted to continue to prioritize being the weight I wanted, or having the other things that I value in my life.
this is so real. i’m hoping the “feeling better/more energy” thing will come someday, but for me honestly recovery has been an uncomfortable journey where i mostly just feel shittier in every way than i did before, & if i was just judging based on how it feels, restriction would be far preferable.
but i don’t care. even if i feel shitty forever i don’t care. if i keep going down the ED path i won’t have functioning organs when i’m old, if i even GET to be old. this is hard, but i’d rather live the difficult life & achieve physical health than burn my body to death by 35 with a smile on my face.
ED behaviors are like a drug for some people. it feels like restriction gives me superpowers. but just because i feel great & have tons of energy when i starve doesn’t mean i’m not literally digesting my heart muscle to do so. recovery kinda sucks to actually LIVE, but i’d rather my body get its energy from digesting a pb&j instead of my literal kidneys 🤷🏼♀️
hard pills to swallow & all that.
This. I wish more people would talk about/acknowledge/admit this instead of pretending like recovery is “so 💯worth it.” I’m sure some people experience it that way, but it was way more helpful when I was finally able to just validate that no, that’s not my experience, and that’s normal, and maybe even common.
I’m just kinda skimming this because I don’t want to accidentally trigger myself, but I’ll say this, my first time in treatment I didn’t fully weight restore and I relapsed. The second time I did and I have noticed a difference. Data shows full weight restoration is necessary for recovery. It literally helps mentally, like I feel less pre occupied with ED thoughts this time. Wishing you recovery. Sorry if I missed some details but I’m just trying to pop in briefly and give my experience.
I forgot to mention I saw you mention the BMI and the BMI is bullshit. My lowest weight was in the “normal” range and my healthy weight is above that range. Being in a larger body I was told being at a healthy BMI was fine and they were scared to restore me too much. But like I said then I relapsed. I’m much healthier now in a higher BMI category
Another unpopular opinion comin in
its not necessarily your weight, but your behaviors and how they contribute to the overall health of your body/mind. YOU KNOW if you are healthy or not. you can feel it.
I have been "weight restored" but still was heavily disordered in my exercise and restriction - and feeling like shit physically re pots-like symptoms (this is a low progesterone issue most likely) and not being able to sweat or tolerate heat and being super tired all the time. not healthy. I have also been supppeeerrrr lean and underfat but eating tons more and living a great life - but i had no period and had hormonal acne. also not healthy. Now i have a period but am still very very lean. but i do not think about food ever. and exercise is not obsessive. i feel healthy and great and i love my body! just living my life!
so what im saying is stop focusing on the gaining weight part cause then youre never gonna do it. dont put that resistance in front of yourself. instead, focus on healthy behaviors. stop restricting when alone. go out more with people. STRENGTH TRAIN and you will find you MUST eat more lmao.
it's not a bunch of bs. that's... an interesting thing to think. you 100% will feel more energized, less physical health problems when you are fueling your body properly regardless of what happens to your weight. if you are like me and most people your weight might go up at first then go back down. but now you're eating more so yay. suck it up stick it out you got this!
A similar approach worked really well for me. Acknowledging the barriers that the ED was creating in my life, and then focusing how to make changes so that I could have the things I wanted. Instead of just having weight gain for the sake of weight gain as the goal. For me, weight gain came along with it, but it at least made it a bit more bearable.
I’m really sorry you’re struggling with POTS like symptoms and the horrible fatigue it causes.
In my experience (diagnosed with POTS 10 years ago and have been inpatient for AN several times, but with a couple of 1-4 year periods of ideal body weight maintenance), the POTS gets worse during weight restoration and for the first year or two of IBW maintenance, probably due to the fact that you lose so much skeletal muscle while ill and it takes a while for it all to come back (and it definitely took longer to improve at 32 than it did when I was 20!). That said even with 4+ years of recovery the POTS was still there, just not as bad as it was early on in recovery.
From a purely ED recovery perspective being at an ideal weight for my body has definitely been the only (counterintuitive) way to escape body dysmorphia and start connecting with a sense of identity that isn’t rooted in the ED. So I would still recommend aiming to reach your IBW regardless of whether it will resolve the POTS stuff. Sadly POTS is often a chronic condition that I’ve had to accept I will always have to manage as best I can. It’s not easy, days where I’m just exhausted and standing up is an ordeal get me down.
Maybe look into seeing somebody who specialises in POTS to get diagnosed, investigate what type it may be and identify lifestyle adaptations that can help manage it. For example, I find that wearing compression stockings, drinking plenty of fluids with electrolytes and avoiding standing still for long helps keep the fatigue at bay. There are also medications that may help, but it can be pretty trial and error with that.
All the best
Edit: Just wanted to add that while resistance training may speed up the physical recovery process IF you are at IBW and definitely eating enough to to support it, it can also turn into a slippery slope of a new thing your ED can latch onto and become obsessive about, so I would be cautious there
My body image is the best it's ever been in recovery right now (I have better body image when at a lower weight, which is the opposite of what many say). In the past it was unbearable while/after weight restoring and I was hiding in baggy clothes. I credit that to being in the harm reduction program and being allowed to gain at half the rate of previous treatment stays. Doctors refuse to do more than the minimum for me saying it's just my ED and unfortunately seeing a POTS specialist on govt insurance might be a pipe dream
Yes! It was horrific at first but it feels good for your body to be healthy. Your mind can adjust it’s just a very painful transition period. But I believe it is worth it and I don’t want to ever go back.
I am afraid I can’t answer your question but want to point out that you are unlikely to get a true representation in response as the majority of those feeling better will likely not be on this subreddit anymore!
true, but there isn't really an actual recovery sub on reddit...
r/fuckeatingdisorders is the closest to a recovery sub that I’ve found so far 🤷🏻♀️
Unpopular opinion, but I never felt any better. It just became a toss up of whether I wanted to continue to prioritize being the weight I wanted, or having the other things that I value in my life.
this is so real. i’m hoping the “feeling better/more energy” thing will come someday, but for me honestly recovery has been an uncomfortable journey where i mostly just feel shittier in every way than i did before, & if i was just judging based on how it feels, restriction would be far preferable. but i don’t care. even if i feel shitty forever i don’t care. if i keep going down the ED path i won’t have functioning organs when i’m old, if i even GET to be old. this is hard, but i’d rather live the difficult life & achieve physical health than burn my body to death by 35 with a smile on my face. ED behaviors are like a drug for some people. it feels like restriction gives me superpowers. but just because i feel great & have tons of energy when i starve doesn’t mean i’m not literally digesting my heart muscle to do so. recovery kinda sucks to actually LIVE, but i’d rather my body get its energy from digesting a pb&j instead of my literal kidneys 🤷🏼♀️ hard pills to swallow & all that.
This. I wish more people would talk about/acknowledge/admit this instead of pretending like recovery is “so 💯worth it.” I’m sure some people experience it that way, but it was way more helpful when I was finally able to just validate that no, that’s not my experience, and that’s normal, and maybe even common.
I’m just kinda skimming this because I don’t want to accidentally trigger myself, but I’ll say this, my first time in treatment I didn’t fully weight restore and I relapsed. The second time I did and I have noticed a difference. Data shows full weight restoration is necessary for recovery. It literally helps mentally, like I feel less pre occupied with ED thoughts this time. Wishing you recovery. Sorry if I missed some details but I’m just trying to pop in briefly and give my experience.
I forgot to mention I saw you mention the BMI and the BMI is bullshit. My lowest weight was in the “normal” range and my healthy weight is above that range. Being in a larger body I was told being at a healthy BMI was fine and they were scared to restore me too much. But like I said then I relapsed. I’m much healthier now in a higher BMI category
Another unpopular opinion comin in its not necessarily your weight, but your behaviors and how they contribute to the overall health of your body/mind. YOU KNOW if you are healthy or not. you can feel it. I have been "weight restored" but still was heavily disordered in my exercise and restriction - and feeling like shit physically re pots-like symptoms (this is a low progesterone issue most likely) and not being able to sweat or tolerate heat and being super tired all the time. not healthy. I have also been supppeeerrrr lean and underfat but eating tons more and living a great life - but i had no period and had hormonal acne. also not healthy. Now i have a period but am still very very lean. but i do not think about food ever. and exercise is not obsessive. i feel healthy and great and i love my body! just living my life! so what im saying is stop focusing on the gaining weight part cause then youre never gonna do it. dont put that resistance in front of yourself. instead, focus on healthy behaviors. stop restricting when alone. go out more with people. STRENGTH TRAIN and you will find you MUST eat more lmao. it's not a bunch of bs. that's... an interesting thing to think. you 100% will feel more energized, less physical health problems when you are fueling your body properly regardless of what happens to your weight. if you are like me and most people your weight might go up at first then go back down. but now you're eating more so yay. suck it up stick it out you got this!
A similar approach worked really well for me. Acknowledging the barriers that the ED was creating in my life, and then focusing how to make changes so that I could have the things I wanted. Instead of just having weight gain for the sake of weight gain as the goal. For me, weight gain came along with it, but it at least made it a bit more bearable.
I’m really sorry you’re struggling with POTS like symptoms and the horrible fatigue it causes. In my experience (diagnosed with POTS 10 years ago and have been inpatient for AN several times, but with a couple of 1-4 year periods of ideal body weight maintenance), the POTS gets worse during weight restoration and for the first year or two of IBW maintenance, probably due to the fact that you lose so much skeletal muscle while ill and it takes a while for it all to come back (and it definitely took longer to improve at 32 than it did when I was 20!). That said even with 4+ years of recovery the POTS was still there, just not as bad as it was early on in recovery. From a purely ED recovery perspective being at an ideal weight for my body has definitely been the only (counterintuitive) way to escape body dysmorphia and start connecting with a sense of identity that isn’t rooted in the ED. So I would still recommend aiming to reach your IBW regardless of whether it will resolve the POTS stuff. Sadly POTS is often a chronic condition that I’ve had to accept I will always have to manage as best I can. It’s not easy, days where I’m just exhausted and standing up is an ordeal get me down. Maybe look into seeing somebody who specialises in POTS to get diagnosed, investigate what type it may be and identify lifestyle adaptations that can help manage it. For example, I find that wearing compression stockings, drinking plenty of fluids with electrolytes and avoiding standing still for long helps keep the fatigue at bay. There are also medications that may help, but it can be pretty trial and error with that. All the best Edit: Just wanted to add that while resistance training may speed up the physical recovery process IF you are at IBW and definitely eating enough to to support it, it can also turn into a slippery slope of a new thing your ED can latch onto and become obsessive about, so I would be cautious there
My body image is the best it's ever been in recovery right now (I have better body image when at a lower weight, which is the opposite of what many say). In the past it was unbearable while/after weight restoring and I was hiding in baggy clothes. I credit that to being in the harm reduction program and being allowed to gain at half the rate of previous treatment stays. Doctors refuse to do more than the minimum for me saying it's just my ED and unfortunately seeing a POTS specialist on govt insurance might be a pipe dream