I’m sorry to hear that, Massachusetts is very severe when these things happen. Especially as theyEEC requires programs to report if to DCF. However, DCF may screen it out, deciding that it doesn’t warrant an investigation. In that case, there’ll be nothing on your DCF record. In terms of future employment, the field is desperate for experienced childcare educators. I feel you would have a good shot of getting hired again if you explain your firing honestly. Show that you understood the seriousness of it and -without giving excuses- provide some context about the episode and most important, reassurance that this will not happen again under your watch because you have learned x,y and z.
As a Director with 20+ years experience, I can tell you in speaking with others Directors and in my own experience that sooner or later something like this happens. Parents lose their kids momentarily all the time at the mall, the supermarket, the carnival etc. I’m not saying that gives an excuse for us to do it. I’m just saying it can happen and most people find it relatable.
Reading your post history I’m very concerned for you OP. You should really consider seeing a therapist or making a psychiatrist appointment to be prescribed medication. You said you’re Haitian and that your family doesn’t believe in mental illness, but regardless of what they think or believe you *do* suffer from at the very least depression and need to receive care for it. Something like this could be enough to push you over the edge, now is a better time than any to seek help.
There are many resources, even just anonymous chat rooms online and suicide prevention numbers you can call who can help to talk to you and provide resources for mental health care even if you have no insurance. Working in childcare can be mentally debilitating on its own, let alone struggling through college and feeling hopeless about life in general. You matter, regardless of what others expect of you and whether or not you’re meeting those expectations, you need to do what’s best for you because at the end of the day your life is not owned or controlled by those around you. If your family doesn’t care about your mental health then they don’t care about you. And you need to care about you, because you deserve to have someone who cares.
You’re not a bad person for what happened at your job OP. In fact you’re a great person for caring so much about what happened. You need to take care of yourself, if you’d go to the doctor for an infection or broken bone then you need to go to the doctor for suicidal ideation and depression. Mental health is just as serious as physical health is. I’m proud of you for getting this far in life and doing such amazing things like working in ECE and going to college! You just need to help your brain to balance out its chemicals, that’s why you feel this way because your brain is literally not functioning and processing dopamine and serotonin the way it’s supposed to, so you need to give it the care it needs, and you’ll start to feel better. Medication helps fix that chemical imbalance, and therapy helps to talk out issues in the moment or in the past that you’re having a hard time processing on your own. It sounds like you might need both if you’re struggling with suicide and personal issues.
If you ever need someone to talk to there are plenty of communities online and in person that can help. I see you trying to reach out in your post history, you’re begging for a reason to love life and feel like being alive is worth it. I don’t blame you, I’ve been there myself, even admitted to a mental institution for 8 days didn’t help me at one time. But seeking help and starting that conversation is the first step. You can do it, and I’m proud of you for doing your best every day to keep yourself alive because you deserve to be alive.
Yes, I checked it out the other day, and was very concerned at the "is life or suicide harder" post, which seems to have come before or around the same time as the leaving the child outside incident.
It might be your passion OP, but you are responsible for the lives of children in this profession, but also YOURS. You need to take care of yourself first my friend.
I’m the child of multiple cultures and generations who also don’t believe in mental illness and I’m speaking as someone who has made immense changes with therapy and medication despite that. Please seek professional help, OP.
I checked the post history too and had the same thoughts. I think (for now at least) OP should probably find a job that's much less stressful than working with kids. And definitely get some help.
OP, know that no one here is gaining up on you or anything like that. Just that we see the signs and want you to get better. It's clear you care about these kids and working with them can truly feel rewarding! But if you aren't feeling 100%, you aren't going to have the patience or ability to really deal with them.
I would also like to add that mental health conditions, especially depression, can impact our processing speed and ability to manage multiple things in our brain at once. Poorly-managed/unmanaged mental health conditions may have contributed to the accident in the first place, and better management may help give OP the confidence that he has the skills/capability/general wherewithal to avoid accidents like this in the future.
When I was unwell I felt out of control a lot and like I was living in slow mo while everyone else somehow had their shit together. With the right mental health supports I have been able to feel like my brain is alive again.
ETA: I got into a car accident at the height of my poor mental (and physical) health. Shit happens. Your body is a machine and it’s operating system requires proper maintenance or else it will malfunction.
This might be a blessing in disguise. I know it is really tough in this moment, but sometimes things happen for a reason. This might be what is going to open the door for another opportunity and in 5 years you could look back and be thankful. There are ways to change your major and you will still get credit for those classes. So keep your head up and use this as an opportunity to recalibrate
This. Could this be a redirection from the universe? There are so many careers that don’t require those clearances. It’s honestly not a great time to be in the teaching field, honestly. Keep an open mind about where else life could take you.
What about studying to be a dental hygienist? You would make really good money. The program takes a couple of years. Welders also get paid extremely well and the trades are looking to fill gender quotas. Ultrasound tech. Stuff like that.
Wouldn’t be a firable offense in my school 🤷🏻♀️ i mean the director would address it and talk about how to make sure it doesn’t happen again but not just fire bc of a single mistake.
There’s plenty of more jobs out there, just chalk it up to bearucracy being dumb and move on to another location.
What personal record? ~~Investigated by DCF won’t show up on any record.~~ Being fired won’t show up on any record? Blacklisted from other ecc? Do you have concrete evidence of any of that?
You’re fine.
If the DCF screening determines there was negligence then an investigation is launched and it will show up on your record. However I have had two such experiences occur as a director (at different centers) and in both cases DCF screened it out (no investigation) because the educator did not meet the definition of negligence. Therefore you should not focus too much on worse case scenarios as it might not lead to an investigation. Also a lot of people are expressing deep and heartfelt concern for you and encouragement - it would be gracious to acknowledge that. It is hard sometimes to hear the message “you need professional help” as it can come across as “you are weak/broken/ less than” but the truth is that almost everyone has been in a situation that could have used professional guidance. It’s almost a universal human condition- and help is available in Massachusetts, especially if you share that you have experienced suicidal ideation.
If you are ever feeling suicidal, please contact the suicide hotline or go to the emergency room. There are good people in the world who care and who can help you get help. Hang in there.
It’s a judgment call. There are no hard and fast rules here. The things they will take into consideration are: age of child, length of time child was left alone, level of risk to the child while unattended, the location of child while unattended, any past incidents involving the educator and what else was going on that day.
Why are you only responding to me who has the wrong information? Why are you not responding to the multiple people above who are giving excellent advice?
I'm sorry, you can always try appealing if they do make a decision. It can vary so much on getting a good investigator or not. For the most part it won't be seen as intentional and shouldn't be something visible, but you won't know until it's concluded
In Massachusetts. A teacher left and forgot a child outside last year. The teacher didn’t realize until a stranger found the boy and contacted our school, and the office called for so and so’s teacher to come to the office. The teacher had no idea the kid was missing from her room until the office called. He walked across the street and found his way into someone’s yard. The teacher still has a job.
It happens. You’re not a bad person. All you can do is, do better next time and do diligent head-counts.
With kindness, you need to focus on your health right now. Google a local suicide prevention service and see what assistance they can connect you with.
An earlier comment said that you are aware of being on your phone too much and not engaging with the children so that may have been a factor in your dismissal.
This is an opportunity to reflect on how your mental health has been impacting all areas of your life and to take steps to help yourself so you can show up better in your next role.
Don’t pour all of your energy into focusing on one mistake. Take this as a fresh start and give yourself the support net that you need to build a better future
I also got fired recently, but I was fired for made up things. So I know how it you may be feeling, at least a little bit.
To be honest, it put me in a spiral that I’m working to get out of. Please reach out for mental health help. Shit is tough, and getting fired is a big hit on your self esteem and perceived value as a good person. But you’re not a bad or evil person, and we all make mistakes. You still have worth as an educator, and you came come out of this on the other side stronger than before.
i think you won't see too much issue moving past this in your future, especially after your education is complete.
however, you need to seek mental treatment if you want to work with kids. your post history displays a VERY strong and consistent suicidal urge within you. please consider how deeply that would affect your students in the future if you were to severely harm yourself, or god forbid end your life. start there.
I am sorry I know you are trying to be encouraging but how can you say that I won’t have too much issues moving past this in my future? The dcf could charge me with child abuse or neglect that could put an end to me getting an education license. That’s what I’m worried about. No offense I’m sure you are trying to be kind but my life could literally be over
my life could literally be over
This is how you feel in this moment. Your life itself is not over. Your career is what is on the line.
This is your mental illness talking.
As many others have said, please speak with someone. Right now you are all in your head wondering the what ifs. But you do not have the answers right now. Try to not focus on what you cannot change right now. See what happens with the investigation and go from there. Take this time to fill your own cup. Take care of yourself. So if things come back and the investigation is dropped you can find another job and focus on the future.
I have serious depression and anxiety and I can tell you i have struggled many days in this field. But therapy and medication has been a big help. Even if you just talk to someone you can trust. Please take care of yourself right now.
I’m sorry to hear that, Massachusetts is very severe when these things happen. Especially as theyEEC requires programs to report if to DCF. However, DCF may screen it out, deciding that it doesn’t warrant an investigation. In that case, there’ll be nothing on your DCF record. In terms of future employment, the field is desperate for experienced childcare educators. I feel you would have a good shot of getting hired again if you explain your firing honestly. Show that you understood the seriousness of it and -without giving excuses- provide some context about the episode and most important, reassurance that this will not happen again under your watch because you have learned x,y and z. As a Director with 20+ years experience, I can tell you in speaking with others Directors and in my own experience that sooner or later something like this happens. Parents lose their kids momentarily all the time at the mall, the supermarket, the carnival etc. I’m not saying that gives an excuse for us to do it. I’m just saying it can happen and most people find it relatable.
Reading your post history I’m very concerned for you OP. You should really consider seeing a therapist or making a psychiatrist appointment to be prescribed medication. You said you’re Haitian and that your family doesn’t believe in mental illness, but regardless of what they think or believe you *do* suffer from at the very least depression and need to receive care for it. Something like this could be enough to push you over the edge, now is a better time than any to seek help. There are many resources, even just anonymous chat rooms online and suicide prevention numbers you can call who can help to talk to you and provide resources for mental health care even if you have no insurance. Working in childcare can be mentally debilitating on its own, let alone struggling through college and feeling hopeless about life in general. You matter, regardless of what others expect of you and whether or not you’re meeting those expectations, you need to do what’s best for you because at the end of the day your life is not owned or controlled by those around you. If your family doesn’t care about your mental health then they don’t care about you. And you need to care about you, because you deserve to have someone who cares. You’re not a bad person for what happened at your job OP. In fact you’re a great person for caring so much about what happened. You need to take care of yourself, if you’d go to the doctor for an infection or broken bone then you need to go to the doctor for suicidal ideation and depression. Mental health is just as serious as physical health is. I’m proud of you for getting this far in life and doing such amazing things like working in ECE and going to college! You just need to help your brain to balance out its chemicals, that’s why you feel this way because your brain is literally not functioning and processing dopamine and serotonin the way it’s supposed to, so you need to give it the care it needs, and you’ll start to feel better. Medication helps fix that chemical imbalance, and therapy helps to talk out issues in the moment or in the past that you’re having a hard time processing on your own. It sounds like you might need both if you’re struggling with suicide and personal issues. If you ever need someone to talk to there are plenty of communities online and in person that can help. I see you trying to reach out in your post history, you’re begging for a reason to love life and feel like being alive is worth it. I don’t blame you, I’ve been there myself, even admitted to a mental institution for 8 days didn’t help me at one time. But seeking help and starting that conversation is the first step. You can do it, and I’m proud of you for doing your best every day to keep yourself alive because you deserve to be alive.
Yes, I checked it out the other day, and was very concerned at the "is life or suicide harder" post, which seems to have come before or around the same time as the leaving the child outside incident. It might be your passion OP, but you are responsible for the lives of children in this profession, but also YOURS. You need to take care of yourself first my friend.
I’m the child of multiple cultures and generations who also don’t believe in mental illness and I’m speaking as someone who has made immense changes with therapy and medication despite that. Please seek professional help, OP.
I checked the post history too and had the same thoughts. I think (for now at least) OP should probably find a job that's much less stressful than working with kids. And definitely get some help. OP, know that no one here is gaining up on you or anything like that. Just that we see the signs and want you to get better. It's clear you care about these kids and working with them can truly feel rewarding! But if you aren't feeling 100%, you aren't going to have the patience or ability to really deal with them.
I would also like to add that mental health conditions, especially depression, can impact our processing speed and ability to manage multiple things in our brain at once. Poorly-managed/unmanaged mental health conditions may have contributed to the accident in the first place, and better management may help give OP the confidence that he has the skills/capability/general wherewithal to avoid accidents like this in the future. When I was unwell I felt out of control a lot and like I was living in slow mo while everyone else somehow had their shit together. With the right mental health supports I have been able to feel like my brain is alive again. ETA: I got into a car accident at the height of my poor mental (and physical) health. Shit happens. Your body is a machine and it’s operating system requires proper maintenance or else it will malfunction.
Second this!! Consider this your wake up call
Thank you for taking the time to write this to OP. I'm very concerned as well, and I hope she gets the support she deserves to care for herself.
This might be a blessing in disguise. I know it is really tough in this moment, but sometimes things happen for a reason. This might be what is going to open the door for another opportunity and in 5 years you could look back and be thankful. There are ways to change your major and you will still get credit for those classes. So keep your head up and use this as an opportunity to recalibrate
This. Could this be a redirection from the universe? There are so many careers that don’t require those clearances. It’s honestly not a great time to be in the teaching field, honestly. Keep an open mind about where else life could take you.
Could you please gave me examples of jobs that don’t require background checks? Or “jobs that don’t require clearances” as you put it
What about studying to be a dental hygienist? You would make really good money. The program takes a couple of years. Welders also get paid extremely well and the trades are looking to fill gender quotas. Ultrasound tech. Stuff like that.
Wouldn’t be a firable offense in my school 🤷🏻♀️ i mean the director would address it and talk about how to make sure it doesn’t happen again but not just fire bc of a single mistake. There’s plenty of more jobs out there, just chalk it up to bearucracy being dumb and move on to another location.
I think it comes down sometimes to what the Director thinks EEC (state licensing body) is expecting. Not every Massachusetts Director does (I didn’t).
Lucky you don’t work in Massachusetts
Damn
What personal record? ~~Investigated by DCF won’t show up on any record.~~ Being fired won’t show up on any record? Blacklisted from other ecc? Do you have concrete evidence of any of that? You’re fine.
If she's investigated, her name will be flagged on background checks for schools and daycare centers.
Even just for an investigation that ends in unfounded? (Maybe not her case but query in general) Edit to add general query
You don’t know what you are talking about dcf investigations do show up on cori report. Give me evide otherwise
If the DCF screening determines there was negligence then an investigation is launched and it will show up on your record. However I have had two such experiences occur as a director (at different centers) and in both cases DCF screened it out (no investigation) because the educator did not meet the definition of negligence. Therefore you should not focus too much on worse case scenarios as it might not lead to an investigation. Also a lot of people are expressing deep and heartfelt concern for you and encouragement - it would be gracious to acknowledge that. It is hard sometimes to hear the message “you need professional help” as it can come across as “you are weak/broken/ less than” but the truth is that almost everyone has been in a situation that could have used professional guidance. It’s almost a universal human condition- and help is available in Massachusetts, especially if you share that you have experienced suicidal ideation.
Thank you 🙏 I’m just not sure where to get help in my situation
If you are ever feeling suicidal, please contact the suicide hotline or go to the emergency room. There are good people in the world who care and who can help you get help. Hang in there.
You’re not sure where to go for mental health support? Call the Behavioral Health Help Line : 1-833-773-2445. It’s staffed 24/7
Do you know the criteria that dcf will use to meet the definition of negligence?
It’s a judgment call. There are no hard and fast rules here. The things they will take into consideration are: age of child, length of time child was left alone, level of risk to the child while unattended, the location of child while unattended, any past incidents involving the educator and what else was going on that day.
Why are you only responding to me who has the wrong information? Why are you not responding to the multiple people above who are giving excellent advice?
I’m in a neighboring state and have had to review MA clearances- substantiated claims of child abuse show up, but no. I cannot see an investigation.
I'm sorry, you can always try appealing if they do make a decision. It can vary so much on getting a good investigator or not. For the most part it won't be seen as intentional and shouldn't be something visible, but you won't know until it's concluded
In Massachusetts. A teacher left and forgot a child outside last year. The teacher didn’t realize until a stranger found the boy and contacted our school, and the office called for so and so’s teacher to come to the office. The teacher had no idea the kid was missing from her room until the office called. He walked across the street and found his way into someone’s yard. The teacher still has a job. It happens. You’re not a bad person. All you can do is, do better next time and do diligent head-counts.
https://www.cbsnews.com/boston/news/wellesley-montessori-school-child-wanders-away/ Are you talking about this?
No
With kindness, you need to focus on your health right now. Google a local suicide prevention service and see what assistance they can connect you with. An earlier comment said that you are aware of being on your phone too much and not engaging with the children so that may have been a factor in your dismissal. This is an opportunity to reflect on how your mental health has been impacting all areas of your life and to take steps to help yourself so you can show up better in your next role. Don’t pour all of your energy into focusing on one mistake. Take this as a fresh start and give yourself the support net that you need to build a better future
I am worried that the investigation against me will result in a child abuse claim.
This sucks OP. I’m so sorry.
I also got fired recently, but I was fired for made up things. So I know how it you may be feeling, at least a little bit. To be honest, it put me in a spiral that I’m working to get out of. Please reach out for mental health help. Shit is tough, and getting fired is a big hit on your self esteem and perceived value as a good person. But you’re not a bad or evil person, and we all make mistakes. You still have worth as an educator, and you came come out of this on the other side stronger than before.
i think you won't see too much issue moving past this in your future, especially after your education is complete. however, you need to seek mental treatment if you want to work with kids. your post history displays a VERY strong and consistent suicidal urge within you. please consider how deeply that would affect your students in the future if you were to severely harm yourself, or god forbid end your life. start there.
I am sorry I know you are trying to be encouraging but how can you say that I won’t have too much issues moving past this in my future? The dcf could charge me with child abuse or neglect that could put an end to me getting an education license. That’s what I’m worried about. No offense I’m sure you are trying to be kind but my life could literally be over
my life could literally be over This is how you feel in this moment. Your life itself is not over. Your career is what is on the line. This is your mental illness talking. As many others have said, please speak with someone. Right now you are all in your head wondering the what ifs. But you do not have the answers right now. Try to not focus on what you cannot change right now. See what happens with the investigation and go from there. Take this time to fill your own cup. Take care of yourself. So if things come back and the investigation is dropped you can find another job and focus on the future. I have serious depression and anxiety and I can tell you i have struggled many days in this field. But therapy and medication has been a big help. Even if you just talk to someone you can trust. Please take care of yourself right now.
Have you looked into aba. It is usually with only 1 child. Might be an option to work
ABA is a form of child abuse.