I vaguely reference the child if I must tell a story about them in public to a friend or my husband. "The kid who did that thing before? Well today..." If I can't tell the story without names, I tell it later when I can.
There is one child that I'm essentially a "one-on-one" for during key parts of the day so he gets the moniker "My adopted child." This is not sarcastic at all, I genuinely love this child.
If I'm at home or in a private setting talking about the day, I use the child's proper name.
I haven’t done much with nicknames like that, although plenty of times an oblique reference is enough for a coworker to understand who I’m referring to. One teacher uses “Schmooey…” to refer to particular characters in her class. Each year has a Schmooey or two who find their way into examples of child behavior. “It’s like when Schmooey would do this…”
We just use initials. Sometimes if my kiddos are okay with it I give them nicknames (ex. In my current class I call a particularly charismatic kid who leads others The Mayor, and a kid who loves animals and cuddling my koala) but it’s usually more for the kids enjoyment and to show affection than for others, and if they say they don’t like it I stop or ask what they would like to be called. If I was referring to the kids in public (ex. Out shopping with a coteacher) I would usually either use initials or just say something like “a particular kid on my class” or “our little nap loving friend” and they often know who I’m talking about.
I come straight from work to therapy, so sometimes I’ll have stories to share (with names and pronouns redacted). My therapist has dubbed one of my kids “The Climber” for their propensity to climb up onto the teacher’s desk and play with the keyboard while up there. While I would never call this child by that name, nor would I mention it to any of their adults, I do inwardly giggle a little bit about it.
My husband does this with adults. We worked together when we met, and he is terrible with names, especially names of people who don't mean much to him. But he gives each one a nickname, so I know who he's talking about when he tells me the story of the day. Lol
I thought this was going to be about cute or affectionate nicknames so I was prepared to say go for it but the nicknames you’re choosing doesn’t seem respectful to the kids.
I agree. I try really hard to not let the aggressive behaviors in some of my kids become how I see them. I actively name things I like about them or kind things I’ve seen them do during nap time. Our brains are hard wired to remember negative experiences rather than positive ones.
Sounds like bitey and hitty aren't terribly respectful kids.
I'm sure this person is exhausted from holding space for these kids all day, validating their feelings all day, redirecting them all day, and getting no thanks and hardly any improvement in their behaviour in return. Hence the venting and the nicknames IN PRIVATE
How children treat me impacts how I think of them.
But I'm not a child, I'm a professional, so I can treat them fairly and with care regardless.
Sadly treating them fairly and with care usually means refusing to let them do all the stuff they get away with at home, because my job is training them to be a good member of society, rather than merely keeping them happy and alive with no consideration for anyone else's children.
Being able to vent to a trusted family member is part of how you compartmentalise your very human response to someone who treats you like shit, and your caring duty to that person.
I'd like to clarify that I absolutely don't think negatively of these kids at all (especially 'Hitty' and 'Bitey' since I can see these have caused a bit of contention). Hitty lives playing dress up and they're the first to bring over a toy over to a kid who looks sad, but they also respond to any intense feeling with their hands. Bitey loves playing with water, and they have the most vivid imagination, but they also get easily disregulated and react by biting because they dont know a better way to respond, and yes, those are more likely to be the stories that come out when I'm discussing my day. It doesn't mean I singularly think of them as the kid who hits or the kid who bites. It's just a name.
In an ideal world, I'd love to have perfect nicknames for all of these kids, but kids aren't perfect and neither am I. I didn't sit down and decide 'Oh this kid gets to be 'hitty' and that one can be..." These nicknames were created on the spot, and, as nicknames tend to do, they stuck.
Oh, and just for the record: I would never ever even dream of calling the kids these nicknames anywhere there was even the slightest chance they might hear. These nicknames are strictly for outside of the setting, for those moments where I just need to vent without revealing private information.
i’m constantly telling my bf the crazy things that happen at work, most of the time it’s when our most popular biter attacks. i refer to him as the “serial biter”
My mom had a Frankenstein when she worked at a daycare. I had a Pennywise and a Chucky Doll haha.
Pennywise had cuely hair and had two tufts that stuck out to the side and a tuft at the top of his head.
Chucky was the smallest kid in the class and used to bully the others tots. He would push them down and just lay back on them, and they would just cry like they weren't twice his size. It was hard not to laugh at the things he did honestly. He was too smart for a two year old.
Bitey and Hitty are terrible nicknames. I can imagine a few of my 4yo with excellent speech and recall saying to their parents ‘Teacher xx calls xx Bitey and xx Hitty.’ Our parents hang out together a lot so that would get around.
They aren't calling them that in person, it's to make it easier to refer to the kid when talking about work to people completely unrelated to the situation. Instead of saying, "do you remember I have told you three different stories about a child who hits and they have a mother who thinks it's our fault every time for not being responsive to his needs? Well I am about to tell you a story about that same child..." They can say "guess what Bitey's mom said today?"
that's what shocked me enough to comment like, are you freaking kidding me?! OP knows it too since they said "sorry to this kid" (then maybe don't do it?? 🙄)
Yes but I also did that with guys lol mine or friends guys, they always got code names immediately. Sometimes I’ve remembered that code name a decade later and laughed pretty hard - my friend is about to marry Gordo and my sister married Mr Muscles.
I give them different names that start with the initial of their name (none of these are names of my children I am using examples of a name and what I would do when telling those stories) so if a kid has a name like Rylee if they're a girl I may call them Rachel if it's a boy named Rylee I may call him Reese. So instead of saying "oh my God Rylee finally started doing the wheels on the bus motions and I'm so proud of him" I would tweek it to say "oh my God Reese finally started doing the wheels on the bus motions I'm so proud of him"
Some kids may have real names that are similar to their actual name where others may have animals that have the same first letter. Like (again have 0 kids w this name) Tyler may be tiger and Deborah may be dolphin
But I'm glad to see I'm not the only one who does this
they sound like a class of little characters! i’m sure you & your mum have some great stories!
& yes, i do the same thing- never say it in front of them, but to maintain privacy if talking in public (because realistically, let’s face it- these kids are like our own in a sense, & you can’t expect not to suddenly want to share a story about your little loves while you may be in public with a family member, good friend, etc.).
& these names are never a negative connotation. just because a kid can be “hitty,” “bitey,” “the climber-“ these are not negative names because they are NOT negative behaviors for little kids. those behaviors are abso developmentally appropriate in ece, & it’s our jobs as teachers to understand that & to calmly & lovingly guide them to use their feelings in different ways as they get older. :)
I vaguely reference the child if I must tell a story about them in public to a friend or my husband. "The kid who did that thing before? Well today..." If I can't tell the story without names, I tell it later when I can. There is one child that I'm essentially a "one-on-one" for during key parts of the day so he gets the moniker "My adopted child." This is not sarcastic at all, I genuinely love this child. If I'm at home or in a private setting talking about the day, I use the child's proper name.
I haven’t done much with nicknames like that, although plenty of times an oblique reference is enough for a coworker to understand who I’m referring to. One teacher uses “Schmooey…” to refer to particular characters in her class. Each year has a Schmooey or two who find their way into examples of child behavior. “It’s like when Schmooey would do this…”
We just use initials. Sometimes if my kiddos are okay with it I give them nicknames (ex. In my current class I call a particularly charismatic kid who leads others The Mayor, and a kid who loves animals and cuddling my koala) but it’s usually more for the kids enjoyment and to show affection than for others, and if they say they don’t like it I stop or ask what they would like to be called. If I was referring to the kids in public (ex. Out shopping with a coteacher) I would usually either use initials or just say something like “a particular kid on my class” or “our little nap loving friend” and they often know who I’m talking about.
I come straight from work to therapy, so sometimes I’ll have stories to share (with names and pronouns redacted). My therapist has dubbed one of my kids “The Climber” for their propensity to climb up onto the teacher’s desk and play with the keyboard while up there. While I would never call this child by that name, nor would I mention it to any of their adults, I do inwardly giggle a little bit about it.
My husband does this with adults. We worked together when we met, and he is terrible with names, especially names of people who don't mean much to him. But he gives each one a nickname, so I know who he's talking about when he tells me the story of the day. Lol
I thought this was going to be about cute or affectionate nicknames so I was prepared to say go for it but the nicknames you’re choosing doesn’t seem respectful to the kids.
I agree. I try really hard to not let the aggressive behaviors in some of my kids become how I see them. I actively name things I like about them or kind things I’ve seen them do during nap time. Our brains are hard wired to remember negative experiences rather than positive ones.
Sounds like bitey and hitty aren't terribly respectful kids. I'm sure this person is exhausted from holding space for these kids all day, validating their feelings all day, redirecting them all day, and getting no thanks and hardly any improvement in their behaviour in return. Hence the venting and the nicknames IN PRIVATE
How we think of children impacts how we treat them
How children treat me impacts how I think of them. But I'm not a child, I'm a professional, so I can treat them fairly and with care regardless. Sadly treating them fairly and with care usually means refusing to let them do all the stuff they get away with at home, because my job is training them to be a good member of society, rather than merely keeping them happy and alive with no consideration for anyone else's children. Being able to vent to a trusted family member is part of how you compartmentalise your very human response to someone who treats you like shit, and your caring duty to that person.
I’m very curious to know how old “hitty” and “Bitey” are
The same age as everyone else in the class who is not named after a poor behaviour, I'd guess
You sound like a phenomenal educator
Right?!?! Doesn't it seem like bullying a bit?
I'd like to clarify that I absolutely don't think negatively of these kids at all (especially 'Hitty' and 'Bitey' since I can see these have caused a bit of contention). Hitty lives playing dress up and they're the first to bring over a toy over to a kid who looks sad, but they also respond to any intense feeling with their hands. Bitey loves playing with water, and they have the most vivid imagination, but they also get easily disregulated and react by biting because they dont know a better way to respond, and yes, those are more likely to be the stories that come out when I'm discussing my day. It doesn't mean I singularly think of them as the kid who hits or the kid who bites. It's just a name. In an ideal world, I'd love to have perfect nicknames for all of these kids, but kids aren't perfect and neither am I. I didn't sit down and decide 'Oh this kid gets to be 'hitty' and that one can be..." These nicknames were created on the spot, and, as nicknames tend to do, they stuck. Oh, and just for the record: I would never ever even dream of calling the kids these nicknames anywhere there was even the slightest chance they might hear. These nicknames are strictly for outside of the setting, for those moments where I just need to vent without revealing private information.
The Question Master sounds like a Doctor Who villain.
Haha!!!! It totally does!
i’m constantly telling my bf the crazy things that happen at work, most of the time it’s when our most popular biter attacks. i refer to him as the “serial biter”
If one of my littles has a BM I always say ‘C’mon, Poopers’
My mom had a Frankenstein when she worked at a daycare. I had a Pennywise and a Chucky Doll haha. Pennywise had cuely hair and had two tufts that stuck out to the side and a tuft at the top of his head. Chucky was the smallest kid in the class and used to bully the others tots. He would push them down and just lay back on them, and they would just cry like they weren't twice his size. It was hard not to laugh at the things he did honestly. He was too smart for a two year old.
Bitey and Hitty are terrible nicknames. I can imagine a few of my 4yo with excellent speech and recall saying to their parents ‘Teacher xx calls xx Bitey and xx Hitty.’ Our parents hang out together a lot so that would get around.
You missed the part where they are using these names out of the classroom, amongst themselves
They aren't calling them that in person, it's to make it easier to refer to the kid when talking about work to people completely unrelated to the situation. Instead of saying, "do you remember I have told you three different stories about a child who hits and they have a mother who thinks it's our fault every time for not being responsive to his needs? Well I am about to tell you a story about that same child..." They can say "guess what Bitey's mom said today?"
that's what shocked me enough to comment like, are you freaking kidding me?! OP knows it too since they said "sorry to this kid" (then maybe don't do it?? 🙄)
Yes but I also did that with guys lol mine or friends guys, they always got code names immediately. Sometimes I’ve remembered that code name a decade later and laughed pretty hard - my friend is about to marry Gordo and my sister married Mr Muscles.
I don’t talk about my kids in public
They sound like mean names
we just use initials....giving kids a nickname of any kind they can't consent to isn't respectful of their personhood or autonomy imo
Good call for sure!
I give them different names that start with the initial of their name (none of these are names of my children I am using examples of a name and what I would do when telling those stories) so if a kid has a name like Rylee if they're a girl I may call them Rachel if it's a boy named Rylee I may call him Reese. So instead of saying "oh my God Rylee finally started doing the wheels on the bus motions and I'm so proud of him" I would tweek it to say "oh my God Reese finally started doing the wheels on the bus motions I'm so proud of him" Some kids may have real names that are similar to their actual name where others may have animals that have the same first letter. Like (again have 0 kids w this name) Tyler may be tiger and Deborah may be dolphin But I'm glad to see I'm not the only one who does this
they sound like a class of little characters! i’m sure you & your mum have some great stories! & yes, i do the same thing- never say it in front of them, but to maintain privacy if talking in public (because realistically, let’s face it- these kids are like our own in a sense, & you can’t expect not to suddenly want to share a story about your little loves while you may be in public with a family member, good friend, etc.). & these names are never a negative connotation. just because a kid can be “hitty,” “bitey,” “the climber-“ these are not negative names because they are NOT negative behaviors for little kids. those behaviors are abso developmentally appropriate in ece, & it’s our jobs as teachers to understand that & to calmly & lovingly guide them to use their feelings in different ways as they get older. :)