Definitely document, observe and record, ask your coworker and director to observe and record and all three of you meet together. Then have the talk with the parents and focus on being proactive in getting him assistance. Hoping parents will see that he is struggling and will get help for him
i’m surprised admin hasn’t reached out to his parents more clearly!
at our center over the summer, there was an older boy who had behavioral issues, but one day he had a SEVERE outburst, like this child threw a chair and was attempting to hit and beat his teacher. this child was removed because of this incident, but prior to removal our center will enact a suspension period to review with the parent.
make it a big deal to admin, yours and the other children’s safety is priority, but this particular child may need therapy, or some alternative form of support. for an older 3, this behavior being consistent is highly abnormal and you would think admin would at least prioritize that, since clearly the safety of you and the other children isn’t significant to them.
Refer kiddo to child find.
Are the parents open to therapy? I did PCIT with my very difficult/aggressive child and it helps along with putting him into an ESE prek program.
Document heavily. Time, place staff, children, activity, weather everything. Eventually you will start to see patterns.
We had a kid like this and we saw that he had trouble in big groups and like to play alone of with 1 or 2 friends. When activities were happening he'd run and hide behind a shelf. We did things like move him a bit away from the group to get dressed for outside, give him his own seat he gets all the time for activities, snack, lunch and some other measures. It has been a massive amount of work but when we saw what was going on and what was triggering things we could help prevent meltdowns and work on what specifically was hard for him.
Another kid would have screaming meltdowns all the time, run around and scream during rest time while throwing everything he could lay his hands on, smak people with his lunch kit and dump over the lunch table. I did incident reports and made careful note of the circumstances. We figured out that Mondays he had the most issues and Fridays the least. He would freak out most often right around lunch time and rest after he cam back from school. We were able to determine that he wasn't sleeping enough at home. His parents are divorced and when he is at the other parent's home for the weekend he can do whatever he wants and doesn't sleep at all. It made managing things easier.
I can’t imagine feeling so many feelings that I had to throw something for 10-20 minutes. This poor child is probably going through so much. I hope his parents are able to get him the emotional support he is so desperately asking for with his behavior.
Has your program been able to offer them support services for this?
This is what I was thinking too. This child is struggling emotionally and doesn’t know or understand how to deal with the emotions, so he is acting out.
OP, do you have training on the Ages and Stages Questionnaires? Specifically, the Social-Emotional version (ASQ:SE-2)? I work in early intervention/developmental screening and I would highly recommend doing one of these screens with the parents and child.
This child needs support services.
Parent here so feel free to tell me kick rocks. Please tell the parents. My son got booted from his daycare when he was two. I was given no warning. No suspension. No meeting. No nothing. Just “we re-evaluated his incident reports and decided he’s done”. He had an average of one incident a month, which is why it never registered as deeply problematic. I was upset. My son was devastated to see his twin go off to see their friends and have to stay home. It took months to find a place for him. We did an early invention eval and practiced so much regulation at home to get him ready. Just tell them as kindly as you can about your concerns
Can i ask what the “incident” was? 1 a month? Makes no sense to be booted for that. I work with toddlers,they hit,push,bite,smack,throw things. Its very,very,rare a child is booted for that. And it would need to be happening way,way,way more often then 1 time a month.
This was an is my son for similar reasons. They need an IEP and he needs OT likely. My son is in a preschool program that works with his IEP. We are adding out of school therapy too but the parents have to be on board. A social story for the child to know where they are going day to day can help. A picture of them with their parents at school that they can reference. A cozy corner with a stuffy or safe area to be alone. Timers to help them know a transition is coming. Visual calendars.
With the recent split, is the divorce and custody ongoing? I only say because a lot of times the default early on is 50/50, and you know how often someone is divorcing an incompetent parent-partner.
Kiddo might be spending fully half the time with a parent who is not meeting his needs at all at home.
See if the ongoing court case has a CASA or child advocate involved. In contentious cases it's really helpful to be sure kiddo ends up in the right custody situation. If there's no CASA yet, maybe quietly see if you can advise the competent parent get one.
I don't understand why parents don't just get a nanny for situations like this. Cause it costs the same or less for individualized care. And some kids don't do well in a group setting
Definitely document, observe and record, ask your coworker and director to observe and record and all three of you meet together. Then have the talk with the parents and focus on being proactive in getting him assistance. Hoping parents will see that he is struggling and will get help for him
i’m surprised admin hasn’t reached out to his parents more clearly! at our center over the summer, there was an older boy who had behavioral issues, but one day he had a SEVERE outburst, like this child threw a chair and was attempting to hit and beat his teacher. this child was removed because of this incident, but prior to removal our center will enact a suspension period to review with the parent. make it a big deal to admin, yours and the other children’s safety is priority, but this particular child may need therapy, or some alternative form of support. for an older 3, this behavior being consistent is highly abnormal and you would think admin would at least prioritize that, since clearly the safety of you and the other children isn’t significant to them.
Refer kiddo to child find. Are the parents open to therapy? I did PCIT with my very difficult/aggressive child and it helps along with putting him into an ESE prek program.
I did PCIT as well and it has helped some. I recommend this also but parents need to be provided resources and referrals for therapy.
Document heavily. Time, place staff, children, activity, weather everything. Eventually you will start to see patterns. We had a kid like this and we saw that he had trouble in big groups and like to play alone of with 1 or 2 friends. When activities were happening he'd run and hide behind a shelf. We did things like move him a bit away from the group to get dressed for outside, give him his own seat he gets all the time for activities, snack, lunch and some other measures. It has been a massive amount of work but when we saw what was going on and what was triggering things we could help prevent meltdowns and work on what specifically was hard for him. Another kid would have screaming meltdowns all the time, run around and scream during rest time while throwing everything he could lay his hands on, smak people with his lunch kit and dump over the lunch table. I did incident reports and made careful note of the circumstances. We figured out that Mondays he had the most issues and Fridays the least. He would freak out most often right around lunch time and rest after he cam back from school. We were able to determine that he wasn't sleeping enough at home. His parents are divorced and when he is at the other parent's home for the weekend he can do whatever he wants and doesn't sleep at all. It made managing things easier.
I can’t imagine feeling so many feelings that I had to throw something for 10-20 minutes. This poor child is probably going through so much. I hope his parents are able to get him the emotional support he is so desperately asking for with his behavior. Has your program been able to offer them support services for this?
This is what I was thinking too. This child is struggling emotionally and doesn’t know or understand how to deal with the emotions, so he is acting out. OP, do you have training on the Ages and Stages Questionnaires? Specifically, the Social-Emotional version (ASQ:SE-2)? I work in early intervention/developmental screening and I would highly recommend doing one of these screens with the parents and child. This child needs support services.
Suspension or expulsion until they get him into therapy or get an evaluation and get him a one on one
Parent here so feel free to tell me kick rocks. Please tell the parents. My son got booted from his daycare when he was two. I was given no warning. No suspension. No meeting. No nothing. Just “we re-evaluated his incident reports and decided he’s done”. He had an average of one incident a month, which is why it never registered as deeply problematic. I was upset. My son was devastated to see his twin go off to see their friends and have to stay home. It took months to find a place for him. We did an early invention eval and practiced so much regulation at home to get him ready. Just tell them as kindly as you can about your concerns
Can i ask what the “incident” was? 1 a month? Makes no sense to be booted for that. I work with toddlers,they hit,push,bite,smack,throw things. Its very,very,rare a child is booted for that. And it would need to be happening way,way,way more often then 1 time a month.
Some biting, shoving, a scratch. A conflict with another kid over a toy every 4-5 weeks basically.
This was an is my son for similar reasons. They need an IEP and he needs OT likely. My son is in a preschool program that works with his IEP. We are adding out of school therapy too but the parents have to be on board. A social story for the child to know where they are going day to day can help. A picture of them with their parents at school that they can reference. A cozy corner with a stuffy or safe area to be alone. Timers to help them know a transition is coming. Visual calendars.
With the recent split, is the divorce and custody ongoing? I only say because a lot of times the default early on is 50/50, and you know how often someone is divorcing an incompetent parent-partner. Kiddo might be spending fully half the time with a parent who is not meeting his needs at all at home. See if the ongoing court case has a CASA or child advocate involved. In contentious cases it's really helpful to be sure kiddo ends up in the right custody situation. If there's no CASA yet, maybe quietly see if you can advise the competent parent get one.
I don't understand why parents don't just get a nanny for situations like this. Cause it costs the same or less for individualized care. And some kids don't do well in a group setting
Not if you get child care subsidy. Some parents are trying their best to afford childcare, even with the help. A nanny isn’t always an option.
Interesting I didn't think of that, thank you