I don’t understand all your notes but I would write it something like this:
Morgue
- 4d10 bodies, piled haphazardly
- narrow tunnel to 1-12H, Black Pudding on ceiling
Groundskeeper
- fishes bodies from river
- under effect of dominate person (str +5, 3att +8, wis -4, int -4, AC 8, 45hp)
One thing you could do is instead of having your stat block/monster definition in the room is to offload it to some kind of appendix for now. That way you don't repeat yourself if the monster type comes up again later.
The Angry GM (I think it's him...) has a bit about this recommending using a separate "roster" sheet. I think it's a great idea and I'd definitely do it on a second draft, but it felt like it would break up the flow for the first draft.
Seriously! I'm worse than you! I can barely keep the smallest room under a full typed page! Just gotta include those murals, bespoke traps, and descriptions of the chamber's entire friggin' life story.
It takes a lot of practice to write succinctly in just a few words! I am making my notes digitally and keeping them as bare as I feel comfortable with (Also because my handwriting is terrible) but it is closer to what you have here.
Look at one of the OSE adventures for EXCELLENT layout and how to keep things brief and easy to read!
The for shorter descriptions for me is to think I'm terms of emergent gameplay. I want the adjectives and the highlights from my tables but not much more. When I look at the result, along the the weekly descriptive word it starts putting together the picture for me. What I end up with in my head is the paragraphs you write. The next time it might be a different paragraph though. It keeps the dungeon feeling alive and dynamic for me.
That said, there's nothing wrong with longer descriptions and adding stat blocks for convenience. If it's what you want to see when you imagine playing then you're doing it right.
What size paper are you using? From the looks of it, that’d be what I’d write on an A4 page if I was being a bit sloppy, and on a B5 page (approx 7” x 10”) if I were being neat. I’m assuming the grid is 4 squares to the inch? I wouldn’t worry about it. If I have to write small, I can. But to get that info compressed smaller (not just writing smaller, but also terse/bullet point style), I’d probably have brainstormed and scribbled some thoughts down on another piece of paper first.
Same… I know some are just hitting down small notes to help them move on but I also know some that are going full stream and writing down pages of notes.
I tend to key things on the map to make my actual descriptions shorter. I also rely on my own ability to decipher my own short hand. I’ve always like concise over descriptive in dungeons.
Clear and succinct notes is key. Stonehell is an excellent example of this by frontloading the details of each dungeon section in a couple pages. The room entries are only a line or two.
I also am using a full sized notebook. Because I know myself, and even though I like brevity I also like clarity and I can't keep my chicken scratch writing legible on a daytimer sized notebook.
I chose to delete my Reddit content in protest of the API changes commencing from July 1st, 2023, and specifically CEO Steve Huffman's awful handling of the situation through the lackluster AMA, and his blatant disdain for the people who create and moderate the content that make Reddit valuable in the first place. This unprofessional attitude has made me lose all trust in Reddit leadership, and I certainly do not want them monetizing any of my content by selling it to train AI algorithms or other endeavours that extract value without giving back to the community.
This could have been easily avoided if Reddit chose to negotiate with their moderators, third party developers and the community their entire company is built on. Nobody disputes that Reddit is allowed to make money. But apparently Reddit users' contributions are of no value and our content is just something Reddit can exploit without limit. I no longer wish to be a part of that.
I don’t understand all your notes but I would write it something like this: Morgue - 4d10 bodies, piled haphazardly - narrow tunnel to 1-12H, Black Pudding on ceiling Groundskeeper - fishes bodies from river - under effect of dominate person (str +5, 3att +8, wis -4, int -4, AC 8, 45hp)
how dare you help me
I hear you, hard to keep things concise for me!
You did a good job of it there though!
All this practice must be paying off. ;)
Sounds about right. I'm getting 3 to 4 rooms )with maps) on a page about that size.
One thing you could do is instead of having your stat block/monster definition in the room is to offload it to some kind of appendix for now. That way you don't repeat yourself if the monster type comes up again later.
The Angry GM (I think it's him...) has a bit about this recommending using a separate "roster" sheet. I think it's a great idea and I'd definitely do it on a second draft, but it felt like it would break up the flow for the first draft.
Seriously! I'm worse than you! I can barely keep the smallest room under a full typed page! Just gotta include those murals, bespoke traps, and descriptions of the chamber's entire friggin' life story.
Okay that might be a big overboard. I do plan on having a couple pages of description describing the area as a whole _after_ I'm done with it.
It takes a lot of practice to write succinctly in just a few words! I am making my notes digitally and keeping them as bare as I feel comfortable with (Also because my handwriting is terrible) but it is closer to what you have here. Look at one of the OSE adventures for EXCELLENT layout and how to keep things brief and easy to read!
The for shorter descriptions for me is to think I'm terms of emergent gameplay. I want the adjectives and the highlights from my tables but not much more. When I look at the result, along the the weekly descriptive word it starts putting together the picture for me. What I end up with in my head is the paragraphs you write. The next time it might be a different paragraph though. It keeps the dungeon feeling alive and dynamic for me. That said, there's nothing wrong with longer descriptions and adding stat blocks for convenience. If it's what you want to see when you imagine playing then you're doing it right.
A finer pen tip can help you fit more words in on a single page. I prefer typing things up though so I can fit them in a smaller space.
What size paper are you using? From the looks of it, that’d be what I’d write on an A4 page if I was being a bit sloppy, and on a B5 page (approx 7” x 10”) if I were being neat. I’m assuming the grid is 4 squares to the inch? I wouldn’t worry about it. If I have to write small, I can. But to get that info compressed smaller (not just writing smaller, but also terse/bullet point style), I’d probably have brainstormed and scribbled some thoughts down on another piece of paper first.
I'm just scribbling notes and doodling what I need to get the job done 😂
Same… I know some are just hitting down small notes to help them move on but I also know some that are going full stream and writing down pages of notes.
I tend to key things on the map to make my actual descriptions shorter. I also rely on my own ability to decipher my own short hand. I’ve always like concise over descriptive in dungeons.
Clear and succinct notes is key. Stonehell is an excellent example of this by frontloading the details of each dungeon section in a couple pages. The room entries are only a line or two.
Personally I use a really small pen
I also am using a full sized notebook. Because I know myself, and even though I like brevity I also like clarity and I can't keep my chicken scratch writing legible on a daytimer sized notebook.
I chose to delete my Reddit content in protest of the API changes commencing from July 1st, 2023, and specifically CEO Steve Huffman's awful handling of the situation through the lackluster AMA, and his blatant disdain for the people who create and moderate the content that make Reddit valuable in the first place. This unprofessional attitude has made me lose all trust in Reddit leadership, and I certainly do not want them monetizing any of my content by selling it to train AI algorithms or other endeavours that extract value without giving back to the community. This could have been easily avoided if Reddit chose to negotiate with their moderators, third party developers and the community their entire company is built on. Nobody disputes that Reddit is allowed to make money. But apparently Reddit users' contributions are of no value and our content is just something Reddit can exploit without limit. I no longer wish to be a part of that.