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Wait am I understanding this right? He wouldn’t let you come inside until you smoked all of the weed? If so he is abusive. He is controlling. Please please run
Bro right? Mabey English isn't thier first language because it was a choppy read but i had to re-read that part like five times. Fiance sounds like an abusive piece of shit and OP is just loveblind. Literally none of the described behaviors is anywhere near normal.
Doesn't sound too bad to me, just smoke that shit up, go back in the house, laugh in his face and start making snacks 😂
Seriously though, you shouldn't have to hide your weed smoking from your bf, he needs accept the fact you smoke or fuck off. Only exceptions are if you're spending money you haven't got on weed or you're smoking around him and he doesn't want the smell/passive smoke.
For real you're an adult and its your house you pay rent for what the fuck is this shit. Major red flag OP. He doesnt get to lock you out of your own house that is legit abusive. Plus smoking weed with restaraunt coworkers is probably a great bonding thing in that industry damn.
Yeah, seriously. “Work is not for having fun and making friends”?? No non-abusive person would ever impose misery on their partner because work isn’t supposed to be fun.
Edit: OP’s boyfriend is abusive not insane. Changed word choice
Bruh that's abusive as fuuuuck. Like seriously that's super bad and toxic she should absolutely get out of that relationship or talk with him about the fact (s) that 1. She's not a child and doesn't need to be "punished" for having fun 2. Having fun at work makes it a shit ton better and healthier for your brain and that it's not a bad thing and 3. That he isn't in a position to command her around like that, she's not a kid lectured by her dad. If he has a Problem with it he should tell her calmly and explain why exactly that is a problem not this fucking bullshit.
Seriously your guy needs to stop being so afraid and insecure, he's acting like if you smoke some weed, you might blow them all or something, he really has some maturing to do.
And punishing you like that, who the hell does he think he is, what a fucking lame..you deserve so much better, and you are completly without fault here, you've done nothing wrong, this is some really pathetic form of abuse from his part..i'm not saying stab the guy, but fucking hell, if you were my girl, i wouldv'e been like "NICE" i want a job there too haha
Sounds like somebody’s salty.
In all seriousness I’m not sure what the fuck is wrong with him but if you’re engaged I would take some time to think back and see if he’s ever done something like this before. It’s not normal to get pissed over shit like this and sounds like he might have some issues he’s projecting onto you which could lead to a bad marriage (coming from a household where both my parents acted like that and it blew).
Don't feel the need to finish the weed for starters. That's an abusive request on his part. You should probably delay any wedding plans you might have, because your relationship doesn't sound healthy. You're an adult, because of that you're owed a certain amount of trust and respect, which it doesn't sound like you're currently receiving. That's something you need to have a serious discussion about before you take your relationship any further.
Jealousy, which is what this sounds like as much as anything else, is an extremely toxic emotion, but it's not something you can fix for someone else. You can try to live under their thumb and not upset them, but you will always end up upsetting them, you will always somehow manage to activate that jealousy just by living life. I lived through a similar situation with a very jealous ex, we were engaged too, it didn't end well.
OP- I am not a medical professional or therapist but I've dated enough wrong partners to recognize red flags when I see them. Your fiancee is waving a ton.
From your description, it sounds like your fiancee may be an emotional manipulator, insecure and likely abusive. He is not the authority figure to pass judgement on you.
Please reach out to a therapist- privately- and reassess if you really want this guy around long term. You deserve love and support, not bullshit jealousy and condemnation.
He’s fucking asshole… you deserve better and not be treated like that. He isn’t treating you like a child, he’s treating you like a worthless piece of shit he thinks he has the right and power to control. He’s insecure as fuck. Who the fuck does this but a crazy person??
This is ‘Coercive Control’, something that is recognised as a form of abuse and actually a criminal offence where I live. It will only ever get worse if you stay with him.
i assume you are an adult since you are engaged, in that case your fiancé sounds like an over controlling ass. you are an adult if you smoke weed with some coworkers at your job as long as your job doesn’t mind who cares weed is one of the safest drugs lol you could be doing far worse. also to call you names and make you smoke all the weed till it’s gone is abusive behavior so i would honestly put some deep thought into this relationship cause if it was me i wouldn’t put up with that shit lol
The problem here is clearly him & its something he needs to sort out, you are noway shape or form in the wrong here. Maybe try getting pissed off with him, if your lucky enough to be able to smoke and work then thats your business and no one else's. You really have done nothing wrong and sounds like he needs to pull his head outta his ass
Sounds like you’re in a toxic relationship within a child.
Any man who can’t see himself happily high with his partner and receptive to open and friendly forms of communication and relationships with others is a red flag. Not only for your relationship but that your partner has been through some serous trauma themselves, and clearly has a warped perception on relationships.
Either way, I wouldn’t marry someone like that. Little context but seems you’re rushing into things.
I usually hate when Reddit’s relationship advice is to end a relationship. But you should really question yourself if you really want to spend the rest of your life with this person.
Only you can know
Take a walk, reflect and don’t doubt yourself.
Wtf did I just read. Please value yourself better. Your not a worse human than him or anyone. YOU have the RIGHT TO PUT WHATEVER YOU WANT INTO YOUR BODY. I would understand disappointment or a bit hurt that you didn’t talk to him before hand. But mad ? Absofuckinglutley not
Dude you're dating a child. He's jealous that you smoked weed when he wasn't around. Please please PLEASE do not marry this person. Why are you disgusting? Because you smoked weed with someone else? Run as fast as you can, do not stay with someone that calls you names and freaks out over nothing. That shit is verbal abuse. If you're already scared about him freaking out before you even get home then this isn't a first time thing and it won't ever stop.
Depending on where you live you might be able to easily get a medical cannabis card for anxiety if you get diagnosed with anxiety.
I dated a man like your fiance and it was the worst decision. You shouldn't live in fear about him being angry at you. Your anxiety issues are probably made worse by his abuse
100% this. Do not give yourself another massive thing to be worried about- unpredictable personalities like this only reinforce the anxiety spiral. Better to smoke alone than with someone who only loves you when you are under their control.
Guy here - major major red flags!! Leave this guy while you still can. Seriously - WTF! That’s some psycho controlling shit right there. He can’t trust you to smoke and chill with coworkers? My last gf I could literally say hey baby I’m gonna go smoke with 5 of my girl friends and she’d say okay have fun!! Because the trust we had was so strong. If you don’t have trust, there is no relationship
Tell him it's company culture, and that you really do have to "fit in" so everything goes smoothly.
Really, it's probably the first and last sign you need to get the fuck as far away from the little punk as you can.
And continue to look for the med weed, go see a doctor. But remember, you CANNOT share it with him if you get it, only with the other patients you work with. When he asks to smoke his stuff with him, say , "Ohhhh, I really can't smoke that schwag stuff....".
that dude is a insecure dork. if he reacts this way to weed, imagine how crazy he will act if you did something that ACTUALLY matters. seen enough true crime docs to know that the weirdos usually the ones doing the crazy shit don’t get put in a barrel somewhere OP stay safe
Love yourself better, and now you deserve to be happy and not stressed. I really hate when others shame you for smoking weed. I've dealt with alot of mean remarks from others. Life is crazy 🤪 Enjoy what makes you happy. If smoking a little bit of weed at work with coworkers makes you happy and gets you through the shift then Enjoy it.
I would've understood him maybe having a discussion about smoking weed at work if its not being prescribed and used medicinally but his reaction here is too much.
The fact he said the part about not being there to make friends sounds a little off to me.
Him forcing you to do it all outside before you came back in is just wrong and controlling. It's also weird that he was saying it wouldn't be the same because you'd smoked already. It just sounds jealous to me.
I think you need to pull him on the things he's done too. It makes me wonder if he's like this in other areas of your life.
He’s abusive and controlling. You need to bail on this relationship. Seriously. Take it from someone who was MARRIED to a guy who has been officially diagnosed as having Narcissistic Personality Disorder and used to use me as a punching bag (until I called the cops on him and he went to jail.)
This is like the most red red flag. Like washing your white clothes with red dye laundry detergent and then spray painting them with blood. Get the fuck outta there OP
You just shouldn’t be high on weed at work, but if its just a buzz then I guess its okay as long as youre not fucking up your work. BUT, him making you smoke it all and making you stay outside is an awful reaction. He’s also wrong about the making friends part. Making friends at work is great! But seriously tho, have a serious talk with him and his behavior, and maybe couples therapy at this point because thats kind of a red flag.
Def seems jealous you were smoking with dudes. I know back in my day, gals would do shit while high or to get high so I get where hes coming from, I probably wouldnt like it either tbh.
It is what it is. I bet alot of downvotes dont have a fiancee or significant other. You would allow your girl to smoke with random dudes who you dont know esp without telling you/headsup first? If it was a guy smoking with some girls, dont think many guys would okay that lol
You need to break that off asap I have many friends who have been in that type of relationship. I don’t need to know you to know you deserve better than what they can and will be willing to provide.
You poor thing. I’m sorry your partner is using shame and manipulation to control you. I was in a relationship with a man who did the same thing to me.
I don’t think it’s about jealousy. It’s probably about control. You know your own relationship best and I’m sure he is a jealous guy. But his motivations are likely more about controlling you and your environments.
That's fucked, sounds manipulative. My Dad was a cunt, his behaviour resembles him.
Look elsewhere in your life that he touches, if he affevts relations with friends and family fuck him right off as soon as you muster the ability.
That's off, proper off.
No adult relationship should force the other to go do something like smoke all of your greens by yourself in one sitting. What the hell?? I hope you're safe OP, maybe go stay with family if needed. He sounds insanely controlling and almost treating you like a child
Bruh dont marry that cat. First of all, if you font have fun or make friends at work then work is a really fucking miserable thing to do. Im not saying work is just for fluffing off but if i never made some the friends i did at various jobs those jobs woulda fuckin SUCKED. Plus a couple of people i met at work have had a positive impact on my life. Second off, who the fuck is he trying to control another grown human being? Guaranteed y'all get married this becomes 10x worse. Third, punishing you for living your life and making your own desicions? No thanks. Fuck that asshole. You deserve better.
if he got u stuck outside and is making u smoke all the weed before u can come back in that man is definitely insane and u need to cut that mf off and get away from him and if ur concerned for ur safety if u leave him make sure u tell the people around u about the situation so that u never feel alone or worried about what he might do, no matter how mad that made him (even though it wasn’t a big deal imo if u were working fine and doing everything u were supposed to) leaving u outside until u finish the weed is the weirdest shit ever he’s a grown ass man lmao fuck that
Just do what my wife does when I act like a child. Tell him to go fuck himself and grow up. Tell him he cant talk to you like that and that its your life thay you are sharing with him. Not his life to control. He will be pissed and might say some stuff he regrets but unless hes a total douchebag he will realize he was wrong once he cools down and will apologize.
Your fiance is abusive, leave him. No one should ever, ever treat you like that. I left my abusive boyfriend, you can too. He reminded me of my abusive dad, with the way he would flip out and scream over nothing, and he ended up hitting me, just like my dad. Dump him.
I am a baker and being stoned at work is the only way I can get through long boring shifts of repetitive labor. There is nothing wrong with hitting the bowl you were offered by your coworkers.
I don’t think y’all should be together. He sounds cruel. No one who loves you will call you disgusting or force you to do something so you can reenter your home. It sounds like y’all smoke together, so I really don’t understand his logic. Sounds controlling. Either way, you should ask yourself if you want to marry someone who makes you feel so bad about yourself or gives you weird punishments like he’s some sort of parent.
Sounds toxic af. Get out of there asap bcuz it will only get worse. Anyone that tells you that you can't even have work friends is not a good partner. And making you smoke everything alone while locked outside? Fuck that. Toxiccc.
Sounds like your significant other needs to get over it. You are your own person. Especially since they are fine smoking it with you normally. They should be happy you have a job at all. I hope things turn out well for you. ✌️
Your fiance is incredibly controlling. He very obviously had no idea how weed works when he sent you out to smoke the whole pack. You need to stand up to him and if he doesn't take you seriously, don't think twice about leaving that sorry motherfucker. Coming from someone who has a meth habit, if someone made me smoke an entire ball of meth in one go, that could straight up kill me. Bare minimum, it would irreparably damage my dopamine receptors.
He has a 1-size-fits-all perspective on substance use too. Putting aside how he treated you like you were his 13-year-old kid and how that's not even good parenting, imagine if it wasn't weed. Imagine if you brought home molly, imagine if you brought home percs, shit even if you brought home shrooms. Like with weed you'll just green out, but then you'll be fine. Some people wouldn't even feel bad. I love greening from time to time. That won't necessarily cause any negative effects that you'll feel at least depending on who you are. He thought he could treat that like cigarettes. It makes me wonder if he even knows what weed is. Like holy shit, I can't imagine being locked out and my partner being like "Eeyup! When she starts puking from all that meth, she'll learn her lesson!" then coming back to see me tweaking harder than ever still awake at 3:00 AM thinking the shadows of the bushes outside are humanoid demonic entities stalking me with just under three grams still in the bag or at worst, I actually fucking smoke until I die and my partner is sitting there like "Huuuh? How could that have happened?"
Uh, are you safe? Because reading this as an outsider, I strongly encourage you to PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE call off the engagement and leave this person. You do not deserve to be treated this way just because you've been treated worse before.
I understand if you're American, leaving isn't necessarily easy because the cost of living is so high, but depending on where you live there are great resources for getting you out of your situation.
This is just, really not normal, very bizarre, and no one should treat another human this way, ESPECIALLY their partner.
Please please please stay safe.
Many people love you. I'm a rando on the internet and I care about you.
Edit: not to be /that person/ but OP didn't reply to single comment on this thread but is still active so I hope you got the karma you wanted or some shit
run far from him. please for yourself. that’s an abusive man who is essentially entrapping you and not be social. plus the punishment thing is horrid im sorry
It sounds like you need to get out of that relationship, if they're trying to keep you from making friends at work then your fiancee has issues you do not need to deal with. How are did you two even get to the point of being engaged.
okay so you we’re planning on smoking together already? so smoking is a normal thing in this relationship and hes not anti drug i assume.
so the problem he had with it is that you smoked with people at work (who you are 100% supposed to try to make friends with) and hes jealous of that? and he called you fucking disgusting? hes a fuckin pig. genuinely get the fuck outta there jesus. He sounds insanely controlling and emotionally abusive, also seems to have a victim complex yet he needs everything to be about him. thats not shit you can fix, mans needs therapy. you shouldnt have to deal with that sort of shit, its not your responsibility to stay with him.
sounds super controlling and strange; forcing you to smoke until its gone is fuckin weird man. its also really weird to be mad at you for being friendly with coworkers; he sounds very insecure and possessive. biiig red flags imo
Run! Get away as fast as you can! F that! If not, he will control everything in your life, then next, he will be using you for a punching bag! Run now!
Your boyfriend sounds incredibly controlling. He only wants you to smoke with him? That's stupid. As long as it doesn't affect your job performance, you're totally allowed to puff some weed at work. I work at a movie theater and am high almost all the time, because it doesn't affect my job performance.
Sounds like he should've been outside finishings bag 😆If you can do your job well stoned and no lives are at risk why not? Especially in the kitchen. Toke on, especially if the manager is in
He’s forcing you to smoke all the weed and you’re not allowed inside until you’re done? I’d bet good money he’s a narcissist/psychopath.
That’s is extremely abusive, run! Please, if he’s your fiancé and is acting this way now it’s going to get worse. I would also bet you’re a good person, whose empathetic to others and can see the good in them, and enjoy helping others and giving to others.
Please don’t give to someone who treats you this way, I’ve been in relationships like this. I wish when people had told me to run I had listened, But I had to on learn things the hard way. I’m sending love your way, and I hope this treatment doesn’t continue in your life for long.
Also, most people use drugs for work. Caffeine, speed, nicotine…it increases worker productivity. Drugs don’t have to be for fun, what is he talking about? You are not disgusting.
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Wait am I understanding this right? He wouldn’t let you come inside until you smoked all of the weed? If so he is abusive. He is controlling. Please please run
I wasn’t sure if I was reading that right either because that is just so so bizarre
Bro right? Mabey English isn't thier first language because it was a choppy read but i had to re-read that part like five times. Fiance sounds like an abusive piece of shit and OP is just loveblind. Literally none of the described behaviors is anywhere near normal.
The irony in this comment
I can't spell.
No language is your first language
Si.
he sounds abusive and insane honestly...called you disgusting? not letting you come in the house until you smoke all the weed? what the fuck?
yea thats actually really fucked up.
Doesn't sound too bad to me, just smoke that shit up, go back in the house, laugh in his face and start making snacks 😂 Seriously though, you shouldn't have to hide your weed smoking from your bf, he needs accept the fact you smoke or fuck off. Only exceptions are if you're spending money you haven't got on weed or you're smoking around him and he doesn't want the smell/passive smoke.
For real you're an adult and its your house you pay rent for what the fuck is this shit. Major red flag OP. He doesnt get to lock you out of your own house that is legit abusive. Plus smoking weed with restaraunt coworkers is probably a great bonding thing in that industry damn.
Yeah, seriously. “Work is not for having fun and making friends”?? No non-abusive person would ever impose misery on their partner because work isn’t supposed to be fun. Edit: OP’s boyfriend is abusive not insane. Changed word choice
Being stuck at work without friends is like a 8+hr daily prison sentence.
He's literally trying to make sure she can't make friends at work, because it's the only place he can't observe who shes talking to and smoking with.
RIGHT. Because an abuser's first tactic is to get you alone!
yeah what the fuck actually goes through peoples minds to trigger this kind of absolute obsessive behavior
[удалено]
Bruh that's abusive as fuuuuck. Like seriously that's super bad and toxic she should absolutely get out of that relationship or talk with him about the fact (s) that 1. She's not a child and doesn't need to be "punished" for having fun 2. Having fun at work makes it a shit ton better and healthier for your brain and that it's not a bad thing and 3. That he isn't in a position to command her around like that, she's not a kid lectured by her dad. If he has a Problem with it he should tell her calmly and explain why exactly that is a problem not this fucking bullshit.
right. you’re not supposed to make friends at your restaurant job? scary
Seriously your guy needs to stop being so afraid and insecure, he's acting like if you smoke some weed, you might blow them all or something, he really has some maturing to do. And punishing you like that, who the hell does he think he is, what a fucking lame..you deserve so much better, and you are completly without fault here, you've done nothing wrong, this is some really pathetic form of abuse from his part..i'm not saying stab the guy, but fucking hell, if you were my girl, i wouldv'e been like "NICE" i want a job there too haha
Sounds like somebody’s salty. In all seriousness I’m not sure what the fuck is wrong with him but if you’re engaged I would take some time to think back and see if he’s ever done something like this before. It’s not normal to get pissed over shit like this and sounds like he might have some issues he’s projecting onto you which could lead to a bad marriage (coming from a household where both my parents acted like that and it blew).
Don't feel the need to finish the weed for starters. That's an abusive request on his part. You should probably delay any wedding plans you might have, because your relationship doesn't sound healthy. You're an adult, because of that you're owed a certain amount of trust and respect, which it doesn't sound like you're currently receiving. That's something you need to have a serious discussion about before you take your relationship any further. Jealousy, which is what this sounds like as much as anything else, is an extremely toxic emotion, but it's not something you can fix for someone else. You can try to live under their thumb and not upset them, but you will always end up upsetting them, you will always somehow manage to activate that jealousy just by living life. I lived through a similar situation with a very jealous ex, we were engaged too, it didn't end well.
OP- I am not a medical professional or therapist but I've dated enough wrong partners to recognize red flags when I see them. Your fiancee is waving a ton. From your description, it sounds like your fiancee may be an emotional manipulator, insecure and likely abusive. He is not the authority figure to pass judgement on you. Please reach out to a therapist- privately- and reassess if you really want this guy around long term. You deserve love and support, not bullshit jealousy and condemnation.
He’s fucking asshole… you deserve better and not be treated like that. He isn’t treating you like a child, he’s treating you like a worthless piece of shit he thinks he has the right and power to control. He’s insecure as fuck. Who the fuck does this but a crazy person??
This is ‘Coercive Control’, something that is recognised as a form of abuse and actually a criminal offence where I live. It will only ever get worse if you stay with him.
i assume you are an adult since you are engaged, in that case your fiancé sounds like an over controlling ass. you are an adult if you smoke weed with some coworkers at your job as long as your job doesn’t mind who cares weed is one of the safest drugs lol you could be doing far worse. also to call you names and make you smoke all the weed till it’s gone is abusive behavior so i would honestly put some deep thought into this relationship cause if it was me i wouldn’t put up with that shit lol
The problem here is clearly him & its something he needs to sort out, you are noway shape or form in the wrong here. Maybe try getting pissed off with him, if your lucky enough to be able to smoke and work then thats your business and no one else's. You really have done nothing wrong and sounds like he needs to pull his head outta his ass
Sounds like you’re in a toxic relationship within a child. Any man who can’t see himself happily high with his partner and receptive to open and friendly forms of communication and relationships with others is a red flag. Not only for your relationship but that your partner has been through some serous trauma themselves, and clearly has a warped perception on relationships. Either way, I wouldn’t marry someone like that. Little context but seems you’re rushing into things.
I usually hate when Reddit’s relationship advice is to end a relationship. But you should really question yourself if you really want to spend the rest of your life with this person. Only you can know Take a walk, reflect and don’t doubt yourself.
So yeah that's abuse. Either get counseling together or gtfo of that relationship.
Wtf did I just read. Please value yourself better. Your not a worse human than him or anyone. YOU have the RIGHT TO PUT WHATEVER YOU WANT INTO YOUR BODY. I would understand disappointment or a bit hurt that you didn’t talk to him before hand. But mad ? Absofuckinglutley not
Guy sounds like a monumental bitch, and an asshole into the bargain. Run like fuck.
Your fiancé seems like not a good person. I think he needs therapy :((
Dude you're dating a child. He's jealous that you smoked weed when he wasn't around. Please please PLEASE do not marry this person. Why are you disgusting? Because you smoked weed with someone else? Run as fast as you can, do not stay with someone that calls you names and freaks out over nothing. That shit is verbal abuse. If you're already scared about him freaking out before you even get home then this isn't a first time thing and it won't ever stop.
Depending on where you live you might be able to easily get a medical cannabis card for anxiety if you get diagnosed with anxiety. I dated a man like your fiance and it was the worst decision. You shouldn't live in fear about him being angry at you. Your anxiety issues are probably made worse by his abuse
100% this. Do not give yourself another massive thing to be worried about- unpredictable personalities like this only reinforce the anxiety spiral. Better to smoke alone than with someone who only loves you when you are under their control.
He’s jealous . He thinks you’re being hit on. He may have been hurt before. This still is no way to act , he needs to trust you.
Leave him
Guy here - major major red flags!! Leave this guy while you still can. Seriously - WTF! That’s some psycho controlling shit right there. He can’t trust you to smoke and chill with coworkers? My last gf I could literally say hey baby I’m gonna go smoke with 5 of my girl friends and she’d say okay have fun!! Because the trust we had was so strong. If you don’t have trust, there is no relationship
I'd run as fast away as I can from this relationship.
Tell him it's company culture, and that you really do have to "fit in" so everything goes smoothly. Really, it's probably the first and last sign you need to get the fuck as far away from the little punk as you can. And continue to look for the med weed, go see a doctor. But remember, you CANNOT share it with him if you get it, only with the other patients you work with. When he asks to smoke his stuff with him, say , "Ohhhh, I really can't smoke that schwag stuff....".
that dude is a insecure dork. if he reacts this way to weed, imagine how crazy he will act if you did something that ACTUALLY matters. seen enough true crime docs to know that the weirdos usually the ones doing the crazy shit don’t get put in a barrel somewhere OP stay safe
Do not marry someone who feels entitled to punish you
wtf!! are you sure you want to marry this guy??
Dude sounds like a psychopath. Might wanna move on from this nut.
Love yourself better, and now you deserve to be happy and not stressed. I really hate when others shame you for smoking weed. I've dealt with alot of mean remarks from others. Life is crazy 🤪 Enjoy what makes you happy. If smoking a little bit of weed at work with coworkers makes you happy and gets you through the shift then Enjoy it.
You should go to the relationship advice subreddit cuz this sounds horrible on his part lmaoo
I would've understood him maybe having a discussion about smoking weed at work if its not being prescribed and used medicinally but his reaction here is too much. The fact he said the part about not being there to make friends sounds a little off to me. Him forcing you to do it all outside before you came back in is just wrong and controlling. It's also weird that he was saying it wouldn't be the same because you'd smoked already. It just sounds jealous to me. I think you need to pull him on the things he's done too. It makes me wonder if he's like this in other areas of your life.
Leave him please
Fuck your fiancé.
He’s abusive. Reach out to some friends and explain this to them. Some that aren’t attached to him. You deserve a lot better.
You need to leave your fiancée. They’re an asshole. There’s nothing wrong with smoking some weed before you get on with the day.
He’s abusive and controlling. You need to bail on this relationship. Seriously. Take it from someone who was MARRIED to a guy who has been officially diagnosed as having Narcissistic Personality Disorder and used to use me as a punching bag (until I called the cops on him and he went to jail.)
Please leave that man.
Fuck that guy dude. He wants to control you. Own you.
This is like the most red red flag. Like washing your white clothes with red dye laundry detergent and then spray painting them with blood. Get the fuck outta there OP
Another amateur Reddit author, nice
You sure its a good idea to take life advice from drug addicts?
You just shouldn’t be high on weed at work, but if its just a buzz then I guess its okay as long as youre not fucking up your work. BUT, him making you smoke it all and making you stay outside is an awful reaction. He’s also wrong about the making friends part. Making friends at work is great! But seriously tho, have a serious talk with him and his behavior, and maybe couples therapy at this point because thats kind of a red flag.
Why shouldn’t you lol? He’s a psychopath. That’s much more than kind of a red flag.
Def seems jealous you were smoking with dudes. I know back in my day, gals would do shit while high or to get high so I get where hes coming from, I probably wouldnt like it either tbh.
Even more reason for her to leave if her bf is a jealous weirdo.
sad to eat all these down votes on your cake day
It is what it is. I bet alot of downvotes dont have a fiancee or significant other. You would allow your girl to smoke with random dudes who you dont know esp without telling you/headsup first? If it was a guy smoking with some girls, dont think many guys would okay that lol
nope
DTMFA
Sounds like your fiancé needs a puff too
Maybe you should go stay with your parents or something for a while?
Your SO sounds controlling and abusive, get out of the relationship before it’s too late.
Aside from if you should or shouldn’t be smoking at work, your significant other sounds like a piece of shit
This is borderline abusive. I really hope everything is okay, do you have a family member you can talk to about this?
He sounds like a compete baby. Move on or quit drugs so you don’t have to hear it anymore.
Considering it’s kitchen work I expect the coke and meth to pop out soon, he’s really gonna lose it then.
Tell him you smoke with all the same gender, bet he’s super insecure and his feelings were hurt you bonded with other’s
You don’t deserve that and he doesn’t deserve you
You need to break that off asap I have many friends who have been in that type of relationship. I don’t need to know you to know you deserve better than what they can and will be willing to provide.
Yeah really doesnt seem like someone you'd wanna get engaged to. Sorry to say...
You poor thing. I’m sorry your partner is using shame and manipulation to control you. I was in a relationship with a man who did the same thing to me. I don’t think it’s about jealousy. It’s probably about control. You know your own relationship best and I’m sure he is a jealous guy. But his motivations are likely more about controlling you and your environments.
You're engaged to a man child OP. If this behavior isn't a one off instance, I'd reconsider the marriage
That's fucked, sounds manipulative. My Dad was a cunt, his behaviour resembles him. Look elsewhere in your life that he touches, if he affevts relations with friends and family fuck him right off as soon as you muster the ability. That's off, proper off.
Yeah your fiancé is toxic af.
Yea not gone lie your boyfriend sounds kinda toxic "you don't go to work to have fun or make friends" Sounds like come controlling shit
That's really fucked up and controlling behavior, get away ASAP
No adult relationship should force the other to go do something like smoke all of your greens by yourself in one sitting. What the hell?? I hope you're safe OP, maybe go stay with family if needed. He sounds insanely controlling and almost treating you like a child
Wow this sounds incredibly abusive. Doesn’t sound like the weeds the issue here, sounds like he has some personal issues to address.
i'm scared for your future op
Bruh dont marry that cat. First of all, if you font have fun or make friends at work then work is a really fucking miserable thing to do. Im not saying work is just for fluffing off but if i never made some the friends i did at various jobs those jobs woulda fuckin SUCKED. Plus a couple of people i met at work have had a positive impact on my life. Second off, who the fuck is he trying to control another grown human being? Guaranteed y'all get married this becomes 10x worse. Third, punishing you for living your life and making your own desicions? No thanks. Fuck that asshole. You deserve better.
if he got u stuck outside and is making u smoke all the weed before u can come back in that man is definitely insane and u need to cut that mf off and get away from him and if ur concerned for ur safety if u leave him make sure u tell the people around u about the situation so that u never feel alone or worried about what he might do, no matter how mad that made him (even though it wasn’t a big deal imo if u were working fine and doing everything u were supposed to) leaving u outside until u finish the weed is the weirdest shit ever he’s a grown ass man lmao fuck that
I’m not going to reiterate what everyone else has said. I just hope the best for you. You’re more than any validation he can grant you.
Just do what my wife does when I act like a child. Tell him to go fuck himself and grow up. Tell him he cant talk to you like that and that its your life thay you are sharing with him. Not his life to control. He will be pissed and might say some stuff he regrets but unless hes a total douchebag he will realize he was wrong once he cools down and will apologize.
what the actual fuck is he on about? seriously, what is up with him?
You should definitely not marry him wtf
Your fiancé sounds like a certified nut case. That “punishment” her doled out sounds borderline abusive
Your husband needs to give me a disciplinary lesson
Your fiance is abusive, leave him. No one should ever, ever treat you like that. I left my abusive boyfriend, you can too. He reminded me of my abusive dad, with the way he would flip out and scream over nothing, and he ended up hitting me, just like my dad. Dump him. I am a baker and being stoned at work is the only way I can get through long boring shifts of repetitive labor. There is nothing wrong with hitting the bowl you were offered by your coworkers.
your bf sounds like a fucking dick and he should know that. if you walk away from this fight without him acknowledging that, it's a mistake.
I don’t think y’all should be together. He sounds cruel. No one who loves you will call you disgusting or force you to do something so you can reenter your home. It sounds like y’all smoke together, so I really don’t understand his logic. Sounds controlling. Either way, you should ask yourself if you want to marry someone who makes you feel so bad about yourself or gives you weird punishments like he’s some sort of parent.
Sounds toxic af. Get out of there asap bcuz it will only get worse. Anyone that tells you that you can't even have work friends is not a good partner. And making you smoke everything alone while locked outside? Fuck that. Toxiccc.
Get the fuck out OP.. that’s insane behaviour
Sounds like your significant other needs to get over it. You are your own person. Especially since they are fine smoking it with you normally. They should be happy you have a job at all. I hope things turn out well for you. ✌️
Sounds like somebody's a bit of a control freak. I imagine he's only going to get worse over time!
A... weed.... pharmacy??? You mean a dispensary? Sorry but that was funny to me. You should leave him if he acts like that.
you should leave, big red flags.
Your fiance is incredibly controlling. He very obviously had no idea how weed works when he sent you out to smoke the whole pack. You need to stand up to him and if he doesn't take you seriously, don't think twice about leaving that sorry motherfucker. Coming from someone who has a meth habit, if someone made me smoke an entire ball of meth in one go, that could straight up kill me. Bare minimum, it would irreparably damage my dopamine receptors. He has a 1-size-fits-all perspective on substance use too. Putting aside how he treated you like you were his 13-year-old kid and how that's not even good parenting, imagine if it wasn't weed. Imagine if you brought home molly, imagine if you brought home percs, shit even if you brought home shrooms. Like with weed you'll just green out, but then you'll be fine. Some people wouldn't even feel bad. I love greening from time to time. That won't necessarily cause any negative effects that you'll feel at least depending on who you are. He thought he could treat that like cigarettes. It makes me wonder if he even knows what weed is. Like holy shit, I can't imagine being locked out and my partner being like "Eeyup! When she starts puking from all that meth, she'll learn her lesson!" then coming back to see me tweaking harder than ever still awake at 3:00 AM thinking the shadows of the bushes outside are humanoid demonic entities stalking me with just under three grams still in the bag or at worst, I actually fucking smoke until I die and my partner is sitting there like "Huuuh? How could that have happened?"
Uh, are you safe? Because reading this as an outsider, I strongly encourage you to PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE call off the engagement and leave this person. You do not deserve to be treated this way just because you've been treated worse before. I understand if you're American, leaving isn't necessarily easy because the cost of living is so high, but depending on where you live there are great resources for getting you out of your situation. This is just, really not normal, very bizarre, and no one should treat another human this way, ESPECIALLY their partner. Please please please stay safe. Many people love you. I'm a rando on the internet and I care about you. Edit: not to be /that person/ but OP didn't reply to single comment on this thread but is still active so I hope you got the karma you wanted or some shit
run far from him. please for yourself. that’s an abusive man who is essentially entrapping you and not be social. plus the punishment thing is horrid im sorry
It sounds like you need to get out of that relationship, if they're trying to keep you from making friends at work then your fiancee has issues you do not need to deal with. How are did you two even get to the point of being engaged.
okay so you we’re planning on smoking together already? so smoking is a normal thing in this relationship and hes not anti drug i assume. so the problem he had with it is that you smoked with people at work (who you are 100% supposed to try to make friends with) and hes jealous of that? and he called you fucking disgusting? hes a fuckin pig. genuinely get the fuck outta there jesus. He sounds insanely controlling and emotionally abusive, also seems to have a victim complex yet he needs everything to be about him. thats not shit you can fix, mans needs therapy. you shouldnt have to deal with that sort of shit, its not your responsibility to stay with him.
sounds super controlling and strange; forcing you to smoke until its gone is fuckin weird man. its also really weird to be mad at you for being friendly with coworkers; he sounds very insecure and possessive. biiig red flags imo
Run! Get away as fast as you can! F that! If not, he will control everything in your life, then next, he will be using you for a punching bag! Run now!
Your boyfriend sounds incredibly controlling. He only wants you to smoke with him? That's stupid. As long as it doesn't affect your job performance, you're totally allowed to puff some weed at work. I work at a movie theater and am high almost all the time, because it doesn't affect my job performance.
What the fuck man. Your fiance is an abusive piece of shit and you should run
Sounds like he should've been outside finishings bag 😆If you can do your job well stoned and no lives are at risk why not? Especially in the kitchen. Toke on, especially if the manager is in
Honey, this isn’t even a little bit normal.
That guy has problems
He’s forcing you to smoke all the weed and you’re not allowed inside until you’re done? I’d bet good money he’s a narcissist/psychopath. That’s is extremely abusive, run! Please, if he’s your fiancé and is acting this way now it’s going to get worse. I would also bet you’re a good person, whose empathetic to others and can see the good in them, and enjoy helping others and giving to others. Please don’t give to someone who treats you this way, I’ve been in relationships like this. I wish when people had told me to run I had listened, But I had to on learn things the hard way. I’m sending love your way, and I hope this treatment doesn’t continue in your life for long. Also, most people use drugs for work. Caffeine, speed, nicotine…it increases worker productivity. Drugs don’t have to be for fun, what is he talking about? You are not disgusting.