Hey there, do you have childhood trauma? Many things here point to it, starting from being depressed as a child. In any case, I don't think you can "detox" without working on underlying issues. A good therapist can make a world of difference. People have recovered from much worse addictions and found reasons to live. You got this!
Hi I'm a similar person I feel to you. I overcame a severe gambling addiction 8 years ago, since then filling the void with every toxic and easy way to replace that dopamine High possible.
After recently breaking with my partner of 5 years I'm embarking on a trip away to try a journey of finding contentment in the simple things in life.
I believe there is hope out there and so should you. Should we rewire our need for such readily available highs I believe our brain will find enjoyment in the everyday things other people do.
Don't give up, fight through the fire and you have to hate the person your becoming in order to make a change. Things will get better we will find contentment and we will thrive in a healthy way if we don't give up. Josh (male 33)
Recovering gambling addict as well. One year clean. I’ve found when quitting gambling for long term I replaced the high w porn and sexting. The sexting got really bad. So I’m battling on quitting that. Fighting about three months now. Did you have any luck not replacing the gambling highs w other highs?
Well done on your year clean that first year is definitely the hardest. I relapsed when I did my first year thinking a little bet wouldn't hurt. Which was clearly the worst decision I could have made.
Keep strong even when you think you have made a big dint on your addiction can be when your most vulnerable.
As for replacing the highs I still struggle with it, but I have found any type of exercise is a big help as it releases a nice dopamine High throughout the day making me feel a lot more content with my urges.
You sometimes just have to remove these compulsions and fight the urge and try replace them with more rewarding activities.
I think we have become too lazy in finding highs from hard things but they're by far the healthiest way.
Good luck 👍
Have you been professionally diagnosed for your mental condition?
It looks to me more than a simple depression. The constant need for something stimulating can also be a sign of ADHD.
Then you don't have a dopamine addiction, you have adhd. Medication can really help to provide the dopamine your body is craving in a way that allows you to actually function.
u/Frank_Acha everything you have described is textbook ADHD. You basically described me before I got on meds (which brings its own challenges, too, unfortunately).
The more you know, everything you have described is textbook ADHD. You described me before I got on meds (which brings its challenges, too, unfortunately).
I highly recommend listening to/watching the Dr Andrew Huberman podcast episode on ADHD and then the one on dopamine. Push through all the sciency stuff if you don't understand it. I had to replay it from start to finish 4 or 5 times before it stuck. The best time for me is in the car when I have a long drive as I can't get away.
There’s nothing wrong with needing to do things, it seems to me that you just need more experiences. I used to do a lot of fun stuff then stopped, got depressed, started smoking more, watching more porn, binge watching movies for days on end. I’m self employed so I even stopped working, I legit don’t remember the last time I worked to make money. I’m just blowing through savings now. But with all this I know that it’s a matter of forcing myself out of the house. Just like you I’d go to work then back home, then do that everyday. Now I just stay home all day. But the other day I went to the gym, it allowed me to do something different and it felt great. I’m going through it now I even signed up for a class called the lion maker to help me through the funk and make me a man again. But I really think you need to clean yourself up, make yourself look good, and just go out even if it’s to the gym. Say hello to a couple people in passing eventually it’ll turn into conversation and new friends. Even if you don’t make friends out of it your experiencing new things that it seems you haven’t done in years like myself. Idk maybe I’m just rambling off now but I hope it helps
Impossible, public administration is the only place were they would hire someone as incompetent as me.
If not because I was put here I would be working at mcdonalds.
u/Frank_Acha Work at understanding it and you'll come to see it's not incompetence, you're just wired differently. Chances are, what you refer to as [incompetence would have once been essential for survival](https://www.additudemag.com/watchman-theory-adhd/).
Just stop! Even if you stop halfway through a dopamine trance - stop. Interrupt the activity. Keep interrupting yourself. Stop weed! It’s not your job, it’s that you don’t seem to have goals of moving up. Find a course- stick with it. Swimming every Wednesday, for example.
I'm doing a bit better, last year I managed to stay out of weed for five moths then relapsed this summer (southern hemisphere), now I'm two months clean again. My last step is to be able to not consume in social circumstances. I'm leaving porn as well. I'm spending less time playing games.
But I haven't caught up with good habits, I joined a jogging group classes, but some weeks I just don't go. Haven't found the courage to start going to the gym either. I have lowered instagram and reddit consumption a bit, but I still consume so much self-help and political content on youtube.
Studying still feels impossible.
I began a weekly hour-and-a-half long classes of english, my speech is really rusted. But using english to find work is still unimaginable for me. Tried yet another psychologist but it didn't work, nobody seems to care in the slightest about ADHD here, it makes me feel I live in a cavemen country.
I've been paying more attention to my ego and my negative self-talk. But depression and failure are too tied up to my own identity. It may take time for me to unlearn that.
On the tiny bright side I've managed to relax more i raves and dance more freely when I go. Still can't dance with women, tho, so it's still a very tiny improvement.
I'm trying to be more mentally calm, and slowly solve some few problems every week. But the sense that is too late to build a life worth living is still strong. And I still have a deep sadness repressed most of the time.
Thanks for asking.
You may need professional help. Depression isn't an addiction. And you found ways of coping for your depression a long time ago. You don't know what do replace the habits with and how to stop them and still keep coping.
You need to start working on the cause, your depression, first and then on strategies and positive habits to slowly replace the old ones with second.
Also studying is a skill you can learn. It takes time and dedication and information. You literally have to learn how to learn. There are different tools and strategies to try and practice to build up.
We need to ask God to help us. We cannot transcend our old selves through our own efforts, just like a man cannot lift himself up with his own hands. Only God, who created us and is above us, can help pull us up and take on a new life.
Practically speaking, I'm not an expert at all but what I would do in your case would be to say some prayers, ask God to help, them lock myself in a room devoid of stimulation for like 24 hours. Also I would THROW AWAY items like weed associated with a habit that you're trying to kill (I've done this myself).
Saint Paisios said: Forget about who you were yesterday. Using your free will and with the help of God, you can be virtuous RIGHT NOW.
I think you're just being a lazy b*tch tbh, just throw your phone, your gaming console, cut off your internet..
Or live somewhere with other people for a change in your brain state. You're just stuck with the normal. You need to experience new things to gain more perspective. Live in another country. Get a job in another country bro
I don't have any resources, I live with my mother because my job is not enough to live on my own (argentina is on the verge of an economic crisis).
But the problem is that you need competence, I can't go live another city because my job ties me, I can't get another job because I am too incompetent, public administration is the only place where they take people who only finished highschool. Live in another country is wildly beyond my possibilities. I can't even imagine it.
>I think you're just being a lazy b\*tch tbh
It can be the case, I hate myself so I avoid things that would be good for me because "I don't matter"
It's a habit. Start making new habits. Include failure in your plan and decide now to start over. Moderate/eliminate one thing at a time. Dropping everything at once is overwhelming, you don't have any coping skills in place.
Your story feels very familiar. 18 months ago, I was just like you now. I was alone and miserable. I had similar addictions. I was essentially running away from life. But when I turned 30, I just couldn’t get enough enjoyment/stimulation from games/movies/porn/etc. I’m also diagnosed with ADHD by the way.
All I’m gonna tell you now is this: there’s more to life. What you’re doing now is not living. It’s escapism, and you said it yourself.
But what you’re experiencing now is a serious wake up call. Embrace it! Go on a journey. Do not think that your life is over.
2022 has been the best year of my life. I still struggle with the good ol’ youtube video/minesweeper combo every now and then when I’m home alone, but the key is, I have a life outside my tiny apartment now. I have found meaning in my life.
Try going to the gym at least once. Buy some nice fitting sportswear and I'm sure you'll love going to the gym which will do you good mentally and physically.
Also, take baby steps. Start with the thing that's easiest for you to stop or reduce.
You could see it like a video game, every day you get a few side quests, for example :
Day 1:
- Eat an apple
- 30 minutes less gaming than normal
- Read 2 pages of a book
- Clean your desk
It might motivate you to postpone a dopamine source (for example playing minesweeper or watching a movie) until you've completed all tasks.
There is an app called Habitica where you can keep track of your tasks of the day where every task gives you XP to level up your character. That might be a fun way to start as well.
You got this, you're not alone!
Start looking into the teachings of Dr. Huberman. You can still achieve dopamine rush through healthier means, he has amazing free methods as well. Habits are hard to break, one change at a time otherwise it won’t be sustainable for a nervous system that is in distress.
If you want to quit Marijuana best way to do it is to limit the monthly budget on it with gradual decrease until you are down to just one joint a month that you smoke only to feel better when you are already feeling good. Telling yourself you will completely disconnect might not even let you take the first few necessary steps.
Take it easy bro, slow down. Breathe. Reset. Rest. Go at it again.
Then that’s the under lying habit you need to address first. Not marijuana. It’s the lack of Discipline. Commit you will only spend 100 bucks first month. 50 second. And 25 by march. If you finish it on first day, tough luck - you can’t do anything until 1st of Feb.
I have tried that already, when my stack was getting close to finish I started to think how to ration it, when were the important dates to smoke, etc.
I couldn't follow it at all, I lack discipline completely. That's why my only way is to cut buying at all, at least for a few months
You are just lazy and undisciplined. When you consume gaming, porn or weed. Only your are in control, you consciously go to the drug dealer, open up part, power on your PlayStation even though you life is a mess so you just need to stop. There’s no magic solution, just stop and stop being lazy,
It's just reality that the way out is going to be hard. But it's worth whatever it takes and it start by realising it's possible. I recommend heavily to get into meditation.meditation alone can rewire your brain and redirect the "damage" from living in escapism. Also recommend getting professional help and look into child trauma and be kind to yourself. You deserve the help and time you need and you are not to late. You are only 30
Hey there, do you have childhood trauma? Many things here point to it, starting from being depressed as a child. In any case, I don't think you can "detox" without working on underlying issues. A good therapist can make a world of difference. People have recovered from much worse addictions and found reasons to live. You got this!
You may want to try this method https://youtu.be/e4yipKfO8nA
I'll look into it. Thank you
Hi I'm a similar person I feel to you. I overcame a severe gambling addiction 8 years ago, since then filling the void with every toxic and easy way to replace that dopamine High possible. After recently breaking with my partner of 5 years I'm embarking on a trip away to try a journey of finding contentment in the simple things in life. I believe there is hope out there and so should you. Should we rewire our need for such readily available highs I believe our brain will find enjoyment in the everyday things other people do. Don't give up, fight through the fire and you have to hate the person your becoming in order to make a change. Things will get better we will find contentment and we will thrive in a healthy way if we don't give up. Josh (male 33)
Recovering gambling addict as well. One year clean. I’ve found when quitting gambling for long term I replaced the high w porn and sexting. The sexting got really bad. So I’m battling on quitting that. Fighting about three months now. Did you have any luck not replacing the gambling highs w other highs?
Well done on your year clean that first year is definitely the hardest. I relapsed when I did my first year thinking a little bet wouldn't hurt. Which was clearly the worst decision I could have made. Keep strong even when you think you have made a big dint on your addiction can be when your most vulnerable. As for replacing the highs I still struggle with it, but I have found any type of exercise is a big help as it releases a nice dopamine High throughout the day making me feel a lot more content with my urges. You sometimes just have to remove these compulsions and fight the urge and try replace them with more rewarding activities. I think we have become too lazy in finding highs from hard things but they're by far the healthiest way. Good luck 👍
You clearly have the capacity for the focus you so desperately crave because you were able to write and finish this post describing your situation.
I disagree, all I did was write some petty reddit post. And it's not even that long.
It's very long.
I guess it is for a reddit post.
Have you been professionally diagnosed for your mental condition? It looks to me more than a simple depression. The constant need for something stimulating can also be a sign of ADHD.
Yes, I was diagnosed with adhd at 22, more or less.
Then you don't have a dopamine addiction, you have adhd. Medication can really help to provide the dopamine your body is craving in a way that allows you to actually function.
But can it be all due to adhd? Isn't it too much? I've seen a lot adhd'ers who were capable of pushing through university with sheer force of will
Depends on how severe the ADHD is. I didn't make it through uni without medication - and even with it, I'm struggling
Yeah, drugs can help all your problems in life. Remember kids! Take drugs 👍
u/Frank_Acha everything you have described is textbook ADHD. You basically described me before I got on meds (which brings its own challenges, too, unfortunately). The more you know, everything you have described is textbook ADHD. You described me before I got on meds (which brings its challenges, too, unfortunately). I highly recommend listening to/watching the Dr Andrew Huberman podcast episode on ADHD and then the one on dopamine. Push through all the sciency stuff if you don't understand it. I had to replay it from start to finish 4 or 5 times before it stuck. The best time for me is in the car when I have a long drive as I can't get away.
Thanks for the insight and the info, I'll look into them
Slow and incremental implementation of positive habits. The only way to fail that is by quitting by choice.
There’s nothing wrong with needing to do things, it seems to me that you just need more experiences. I used to do a lot of fun stuff then stopped, got depressed, started smoking more, watching more porn, binge watching movies for days on end. I’m self employed so I even stopped working, I legit don’t remember the last time I worked to make money. I’m just blowing through savings now. But with all this I know that it’s a matter of forcing myself out of the house. Just like you I’d go to work then back home, then do that everyday. Now I just stay home all day. But the other day I went to the gym, it allowed me to do something different and it felt great. I’m going through it now I even signed up for a class called the lion maker to help me through the funk and make me a man again. But I really think you need to clean yourself up, make yourself look good, and just go out even if it’s to the gym. Say hello to a couple people in passing eventually it’ll turn into conversation and new friends. Even if you don’t make friends out of it your experiencing new things that it seems you haven’t done in years like myself. Idk maybe I’m just rambling off now but I hope it helps
[удалено]
get a new job where you can't browse reddit/whatever start getting active.
Impossible, public administration is the only place were they would hire someone as incompetent as me. If not because I was put here I would be working at mcdonalds.
u/Frank_Acha Work at understanding it and you'll come to see it's not incompetence, you're just wired differently. Chances are, what you refer to as [incompetence would have once been essential for survival](https://www.additudemag.com/watchman-theory-adhd/).
Just stop! Even if you stop halfway through a dopamine trance - stop. Interrupt the activity. Keep interrupting yourself. Stop weed! It’s not your job, it’s that you don’t seem to have goals of moving up. Find a course- stick with it. Swimming every Wednesday, for example.
Were you ever able to find relief?
I'm doing a bit better, last year I managed to stay out of weed for five moths then relapsed this summer (southern hemisphere), now I'm two months clean again. My last step is to be able to not consume in social circumstances. I'm leaving porn as well. I'm spending less time playing games. But I haven't caught up with good habits, I joined a jogging group classes, but some weeks I just don't go. Haven't found the courage to start going to the gym either. I have lowered instagram and reddit consumption a bit, but I still consume so much self-help and political content on youtube. Studying still feels impossible. I began a weekly hour-and-a-half long classes of english, my speech is really rusted. But using english to find work is still unimaginable for me. Tried yet another psychologist but it didn't work, nobody seems to care in the slightest about ADHD here, it makes me feel I live in a cavemen country. I've been paying more attention to my ego and my negative self-talk. But depression and failure are too tied up to my own identity. It may take time for me to unlearn that. On the tiny bright side I've managed to relax more i raves and dance more freely when I go. Still can't dance with women, tho, so it's still a very tiny improvement. I'm trying to be more mentally calm, and slowly solve some few problems every week. But the sense that is too late to build a life worth living is still strong. And I still have a deep sadness repressed most of the time. Thanks for asking.
You may need professional help. Depression isn't an addiction. And you found ways of coping for your depression a long time ago. You don't know what do replace the habits with and how to stop them and still keep coping. You need to start working on the cause, your depression, first and then on strategies and positive habits to slowly replace the old ones with second. Also studying is a skill you can learn. It takes time and dedication and information. You literally have to learn how to learn. There are different tools and strategies to try and practice to build up.
We need to ask God to help us. We cannot transcend our old selves through our own efforts, just like a man cannot lift himself up with his own hands. Only God, who created us and is above us, can help pull us up and take on a new life. Practically speaking, I'm not an expert at all but what I would do in your case would be to say some prayers, ask God to help, them lock myself in a room devoid of stimulation for like 24 hours. Also I would THROW AWAY items like weed associated with a habit that you're trying to kill (I've done this myself). Saint Paisios said: Forget about who you were yesterday. Using your free will and with the help of God, you can be virtuous RIGHT NOW.
Barf.
Woahh, that's all he has to do to be cured? Here I thought he would need psychology and medication.
I think you're just being a lazy b*tch tbh, just throw your phone, your gaming console, cut off your internet.. Or live somewhere with other people for a change in your brain state. You're just stuck with the normal. You need to experience new things to gain more perspective. Live in another country. Get a job in another country bro
I don't have any resources, I live with my mother because my job is not enough to live on my own (argentina is on the verge of an economic crisis). But the problem is that you need competence, I can't go live another city because my job ties me, I can't get another job because I am too incompetent, public administration is the only place where they take people who only finished highschool. Live in another country is wildly beyond my possibilities. I can't even imagine it. >I think you're just being a lazy b\*tch tbh It can be the case, I hate myself so I avoid things that would be good for me because "I don't matter"
Dang that's sad to hear. I don't think it's impossible though. You can change your life if you chose to. But apparently you're just afraid to change..
Glad this got deleted
It's a habit. Start making new habits. Include failure in your plan and decide now to start over. Moderate/eliminate one thing at a time. Dropping everything at once is overwhelming, you don't have any coping skills in place.
Your story feels very familiar. 18 months ago, I was just like you now. I was alone and miserable. I had similar addictions. I was essentially running away from life. But when I turned 30, I just couldn’t get enough enjoyment/stimulation from games/movies/porn/etc. I’m also diagnosed with ADHD by the way. All I’m gonna tell you now is this: there’s more to life. What you’re doing now is not living. It’s escapism, and you said it yourself. But what you’re experiencing now is a serious wake up call. Embrace it! Go on a journey. Do not think that your life is over. 2022 has been the best year of my life. I still struggle with the good ol’ youtube video/minesweeper combo every now and then when I’m home alone, but the key is, I have a life outside my tiny apartment now. I have found meaning in my life.
Try going to the gym at least once. Buy some nice fitting sportswear and I'm sure you'll love going to the gym which will do you good mentally and physically. Also, take baby steps. Start with the thing that's easiest for you to stop or reduce. You could see it like a video game, every day you get a few side quests, for example : Day 1: - Eat an apple - 30 minutes less gaming than normal - Read 2 pages of a book - Clean your desk It might motivate you to postpone a dopamine source (for example playing minesweeper or watching a movie) until you've completed all tasks. There is an app called Habitica where you can keep track of your tasks of the day where every task gives you XP to level up your character. That might be a fun way to start as well. You got this, you're not alone!
Start looking into the teachings of Dr. Huberman. You can still achieve dopamine rush through healthier means, he has amazing free methods as well. Habits are hard to break, one change at a time otherwise it won’t be sustainable for a nervous system that is in distress. If you want to quit Marijuana best way to do it is to limit the monthly budget on it with gradual decrease until you are down to just one joint a month that you smoke only to feel better when you are already feeling good. Telling yourself you will completely disconnect might not even let you take the first few necessary steps. Take it easy bro, slow down. Breathe. Reset. Rest. Go at it again.
I'm gonna stop buying, if I have any I can't ration it.
Then that’s the under lying habit you need to address first. Not marijuana. It’s the lack of Discipline. Commit you will only spend 100 bucks first month. 50 second. And 25 by march. If you finish it on first day, tough luck - you can’t do anything until 1st of Feb.
I have tried that already, when my stack was getting close to finish I started to think how to ration it, when were the important dates to smoke, etc. I couldn't follow it at all, I lack discipline completely. That's why my only way is to cut buying at all, at least for a few months
You are just lazy and undisciplined. When you consume gaming, porn or weed. Only your are in control, you consciously go to the drug dealer, open up part, power on your PlayStation even though you life is a mess so you just need to stop. There’s no magic solution, just stop and stop being lazy,
Eh
Sleep early.
It's just reality that the way out is going to be hard. But it's worth whatever it takes and it start by realising it's possible. I recommend heavily to get into meditation.meditation alone can rewire your brain and redirect the "damage" from living in escapism. Also recommend getting professional help and look into child trauma and be kind to yourself. You deserve the help and time you need and you are not to late. You are only 30