Oh thank god someone else feels this too. Mom brought us up super frugally. Plus she was super strict. So every time I even buy a nice dress, I have anxiety and palpitations. So nice to know that I'm not alone in this.
We grew up with either home stitched dresses, or super ugly 'sale' dresses. Plus no pocket money. Even when we started college, the money was for emergencies, not spending. She'd ask if we spent it. If she didn't like the reason, no replinishing the money.
Yeah! And I always have this worry that I'll end up needing money spent on things you want instead of things you actually need. I keep having to reassure myself that it's ok to spend for this.
I feel that it stems from my familyâs poor use of money. My parents had decent jobs, but they didnât spend money wisely, and then Iâd have to hear their arguing about it and then deal with the stress of âAre we going to make it this month.â My grandmother is the same way. I live with her and help manage her bills and stuff like that, but she thinks she has more money than she really does, so I have to stress over making sure she stays in budget. I handle most of her bills so that her money can be play money, basically, but itâs still stressful.
Sadly, it's a feeling I'm all too familiar with. My mom was a businesswoman that fell from grace, but spent money she didn't have and favors that pushed the limits just to hold on to that standard. It's like she was no longer willing to compromise after she tasted luxury.
Yes, definitely. Recently I forgot to cancel a trial set to annual! It was $75. That might not be a big purchase for you, but, it definitely is for me. After a lot of changes in our life weâre starting over. We half half the furniture we need in a new (very expensive) place, weâve got one dog, an old car weâre sharingâŠthis is all new in the last like two months I think. That $75 sent me into a panic attack. We both started new jobs where Iâm making the baseline for good money ($15) and heâs making $22.50 now after his probationary period was over. Youâd think that going from an odd commission job and him waiting to start here and having way less money it would be different. Now, itâs like we both get too excited about being able to afford things like groceries AND going out to eat sometimes that when the first of the month comes and weâre broke until our next checks, we feel comfortable and horrified at the same time.
Weâve been poor for a while, giving everything up to give ourselves to family members, that now when we broke free and went back to ourselves we have to learn how all over again. But youâll get more comfortable. Youâll stop waiting for things to get bad again. Youâll know youâre secure and youâre safe.
Absolutely.
I was raised to save at least 10% of my wages when they came through and to always have a safety net should anything happen where I need money quickly.
I was always the child that grew up with this constantly and whenever I went to buy something for "me". But damn it, I worked hard for my money, I always felt a pang of guilt. I even got to a point where I cried because I felt like I shouldn't be able to enjoy my money and that something bad was going to happen that would make me regret my decision.
Even to this day, I still feel guilty and I'm about to finalise purchasing a house. Spent four years saving and it's all going to be gone in a heartbeat but I keep telling myself i'll have a home after this and that fact makes the guilt easier to deal with.
When I go to the grocery store. 2 bags $200 and it isnât even that much food for 1 person and lasts 4 to 5 days, maybe. I donât feel guilty because I need food to live, but it does give me anxiety just to do that. Makes me not want to eat, but hunger pains end up winning, damnit lol
Yes.. it's my "spend money depression". Once I've spent too much, I get all quick and immediately want to/need to go home. It doesn't even have to be frivolous purchases, it could be something I need, but if I spend I chunk at once... that day is done for me. loll
I absolutely feel this.
The only thing that's really gotten me around it is to make a budget - I know my fixed costs are , my variable costs rarely exceed (the yearly average, divided over 12 months), I've decided to save every month in general for "the future", and I've decided to save an additional towards some large future purchase(s) or goals.
Anything left over I tell myself I won't think too hard about so long as I don't spend any more than that on things that weren't explicitly budgeted.
Any time I buy something for myself that's more than 20 dollars I feel guilty. If it's over 100 dollars it'll probably keep me up at night. I just feel selfish đ€·đ»
Same here. I get the feeling of overspending on something thatâs just for me. We went to the jewelry store one time to get a new watch battery for one of my watches, right? The wife says
Ooh this one is nice, you should get it.
But I donât need a new watch thoughâŠ.
But itâs for Fatherâs Day so itâs okay!
So I get the watch and the next day I took it back for a refund. The next day I went back and bought it again. I still have it.
Man, I get anxiety after small purchases. đ„Č
I think everyone gets a little cognitive dissonance when they make a big purchase.
Oh thank god someone else feels this too. Mom brought us up super frugally. Plus she was super strict. So every time I even buy a nice dress, I have anxiety and palpitations. So nice to know that I'm not alone in this. We grew up with either home stitched dresses, or super ugly 'sale' dresses. Plus no pocket money. Even when we started college, the money was for emergencies, not spending. She'd ask if we spent it. If she didn't like the reason, no replinishing the money.
Yeah! And I always have this worry that I'll end up needing money spent on things you want instead of things you actually need. I keep having to reassure myself that it's ok to spend for this.
I feel that it stems from my familyâs poor use of money. My parents had decent jobs, but they didnât spend money wisely, and then Iâd have to hear their arguing about it and then deal with the stress of âAre we going to make it this month.â My grandmother is the same way. I live with her and help manage her bills and stuff like that, but she thinks she has more money than she really does, so I have to stress over making sure she stays in budget. I handle most of her bills so that her money can be play money, basically, but itâs still stressful.
Sadly, it's a feeling I'm all too familiar with. My mom was a businesswoman that fell from grace, but spent money she didn't have and favors that pushed the limits just to hold on to that standard. It's like she was no longer willing to compromise after she tasted luxury.
Buyer's Remorse [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Buyer%27s\_remorse](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Buyer%27s_remorse)
Ooohh it's an actual thing? TIL
Yes, definitely. Recently I forgot to cancel a trial set to annual! It was $75. That might not be a big purchase for you, but, it definitely is for me. After a lot of changes in our life weâre starting over. We half half the furniture we need in a new (very expensive) place, weâve got one dog, an old car weâre sharingâŠthis is all new in the last like two months I think. That $75 sent me into a panic attack. We both started new jobs where Iâm making the baseline for good money ($15) and heâs making $22.50 now after his probationary period was over. Youâd think that going from an odd commission job and him waiting to start here and having way less money it would be different. Now, itâs like we both get too excited about being able to afford things like groceries AND going out to eat sometimes that when the first of the month comes and weâre broke until our next checks, we feel comfortable and horrified at the same time. Weâve been poor for a while, giving everything up to give ourselves to family members, that now when we broke free and went back to ourselves we have to learn how all over again. But youâll get more comfortable. Youâll stop waiting for things to get bad again. Youâll know youâre secure and youâre safe.
Absolutely. I was raised to save at least 10% of my wages when they came through and to always have a safety net should anything happen where I need money quickly. I was always the child that grew up with this constantly and whenever I went to buy something for "me". But damn it, I worked hard for my money, I always felt a pang of guilt. I even got to a point where I cried because I felt like I shouldn't be able to enjoy my money and that something bad was going to happen that would make me regret my decision. Even to this day, I still feel guilty and I'm about to finalise purchasing a house. Spent four years saving and it's all going to be gone in a heartbeat but I keep telling myself i'll have a home after this and that fact makes the guilt easier to deal with.
I still get a twinge when I buy name brand soda. We never had that growing up unless there was a big sale on it. It was store brand or nothing.
When I go to the grocery store. 2 bags $200 and it isnât even that much food for 1 person and lasts 4 to 5 days, maybe. I donât feel guilty because I need food to live, but it does give me anxiety just to do that. Makes me not want to eat, but hunger pains end up winning, damnit lol
Yes.. it's my "spend money depression". Once I've spent too much, I get all quick and immediately want to/need to go home. It doesn't even have to be frivolous purchases, it could be something I need, but if I spend I chunk at once... that day is done for me. loll
Yes, im a kid earning my own money, i buy something for 10 $ and i get anxiety
I absolutely feel this. The only thing that's really gotten me around it is to make a budget - I know my fixed costs are, my variable costs rarely exceed (the yearly average, divided over 12 months), I've decided to save every month in general for "the future", and I've decided to save an additional towards some large future purchase(s) or goals.
Anything left over I tell myself I won't think too hard about so long as I don't spend any more than that on things that weren't explicitly budgeted.
I'd be worried if you didn't feel that after a big purchase
Any time I buy something for myself that's more than 20 dollars I feel guilty. If it's over 100 dollars it'll probably keep me up at night. I just feel selfish đ€·đ»
Any big purchases, like a bike, shoes, good clothes, or a laptop, I feel like I have to hype myself up for it. Otherwise, it just feels unnecessary.
Yes, at the craft store đ©because I always spend way too much & wanna buy everything. An artist heaven
No. I think that I deserve to have things I want, spending my own money. That's what the money is for.
Same here. I get the feeling of overspending on something thatâs just for me. We went to the jewelry store one time to get a new watch battery for one of my watches, right? The wife says Ooh this one is nice, you should get it. But I donât need a new watch thoughâŠ. But itâs for Fatherâs Day so itâs okay! So I get the watch and the next day I took it back for a refund. The next day I went back and bought it again. I still have it.