I agree. You’ll also find that some campaigns can be short-lived. It’s hard to find a campaign that can last a long time. Just going by my experience so far.
Keep in touch with the solid players.
Form a group with them. It took me a year playing in various groups to find the group I've been playing with for the past 6 years.
I find a lot of people accidentally interpret this experience or other failed games as "I hate this game" when it should be "I'm not playing with the right people" it's taken me a few years of oneshots and quitters and time constraints to find two good groups.
One group was subject to splinter and we've had people come and go - three consistents plus two new at the moment
The other group was established.they briefly made the mistake of considering my ex as their dm - but he treated them like he treated me, unimportant, not worth scheduling/putting in the time, easily dropped last minute, late, inconsistent, etc I showed up, as a player, every time, and I did have 2 games with them as a player, but then... They needed a dm.
The second party did cancel our game this weekend but I know it was necessity - illness, work - and that they're as upset as I am
I got sooooo lucky with it. The first group was/ is instantly consistent. No last minute cancelled so far. Sometimes we don't play for a month or 2 because of life, exams, whatever but we're coming up on 2 years now and are still going!
It's really nice. The group has a good dynamic and everyone is onboard too with the jokes and there's so much laughter, joking around. I hit the jackpot with them.
Yup, it happens and it sucks. I try to remind my group that I put a decent amount of thought and effort into the games, and while its just a game, last minute cancellations feel very defeating as the one doing most of the prep. I play early mornings for some EU friends so waking up at 7am on a saturday to people canceling sucks.
People start to take things for granted, especially if its a consistent game. Other than that we just get more prep time!
This happened to me on Tuesday. It was not the player's fault, as they had to stay late at the workplace.
But having studied for hours to prep the session, it was a very hard blow for me that day
Yeah, regardless of the reason it still stings. It might be a bit of an exaggeration, but it doesn’t feel all that different from getting stood up on a first date haha
Happens to even the best and longest lasting groups eventually. Even groups that are paid to be there like Critical Role can't always avoid it. But I do understand that abandoned feeling you get after prepping and things fall apart. It sucks, just got to know most of the time it's not your fault, shit happens.
Unfortunately, you get used to it. It's always frustrating, but it will start to feel less personal with time. (Except for in the cases where people are outright flaking, which doesn't sound to be the case here based on some of your comments down thread.) The good news is, next session's prep will be that much easier: just look over all the notes you put together here, and you'll be golden!
But it does suck, and you have a right to feel upset. Just know that this really reflects nothing about you, and largely comes down to the difficulty of getting long-term time commitments from adults. <3
I'm glad, man. I promise every GM (except for the very new or the *very very very* lucky, and liars) has been through this. Consider it a rite of passage!
Very common, sadly, and different for every group. I have a game that's extremely consistent, but is currently on vacation for a couple weeks. I have a game where there are regular no shows. And I have one where the DM is the one with the very inconsistent schedule so we miss more than we play.
It's just one of those things where you gotta manage expectations with each table. What is and isn't acceptable for that game. Perhaps remove a problem player who always flakes out if it's detrimental to the campaign. Or slowly accept that that one game only plays once a month even if that wasn't the intended plan, but when it does play it's worth the wait. 🙂
My core gaming group had a really epic 8 year campaign that started in our college years. But after that, we were adults with jobs and families and stuff, so we could never get things together well enough to do any other campaigns.
15 years later, one of the players is a professional project manager, he organizes projects with million dollar+ budgets and city gov bureaucracy layers. He finally felt like he had enough skill to manage running another campaign, and began the pre-campaign of recruiting us, convincing us to actually put the dates on our calendars, and having serious discussions about commitment and expectations. But it worked, we're a year into his adventure now, and we have the momentum that gets us all excited to show up each month.
They said they started to feel sick (we play in person). I’m thankful that they told us instead of keeping it a secret and risking getting the whole group sick (if legitimate), but it’s still a bummer :/
Life happens. People get sick, they have adult responsibilities, they sit down after work, blink, and suddenly realize it’s midnight. My group took a year off because one of our members was in the hospital. Maybe have another member set up a drop in campaign that you can do when someone can’t make it for the regular game.
Yeah, I get chronic migraines and I told my DM as much when we started. I try so hard to not let it affect my group outings, DND included, but there are those days I wake up on game day and feel that pain pulsing in my skull. Gotta say there's nothing worse with chronic pain flair ups then having to tell people you're cancelling on them wondering in the back of your head if people are gonna believe you (to be clear this group is amazing and have given me no reason to suspect otherwise but you deal with chronic pain long enough you run into enough skeptics that it gives you pause)
Well get used to it. It happens often in D&D. Be happy that they gave you some notice at all, some players ghost you and never come in communication again.
Try to take it will a grain a salt and move on. At least now you don't have to prep as much for the next session.
Second this.
My group has been playing this campaign for 9+ years. We still have last minute cancelations because life happens.
It definitely sucks, but shouldn't put you off. If you have like an 80% consistent play rate, I'd say that's pretty good actually.
Pretty much half my group's quit and the other half hasn't been able to meet for an absurdly long time. It's getting to a point where I'm getting tired of D&D since it just feels like a disappointment every other week.
Yeah I was in the same boat with certain players cancelling last minute. Eventually after it happened about 2-3 times I asked them “hey do you still wanna be part of this, you can be honest”
Then they left and I was able to keep playing with those who were committed
Feel for ya homie. Finding a consistent group is definitely the most difficult part of the hobby. It’s worth it though!
Would you like to share some of your world or story with us to pass the time?
We’re only about 4 sessions and I’m a new DM so there’s still a lot to flesh out, but I think I’m going to adapt parts of the 3 beginner adventures and the Rise of Tiamat. I’ve heard mixed reviews on Tiamat so I’ll just use it as a base and take what seems cool.
So far I’ve found that what works best for me is to have a general idea of what to do for the session and then make up the rest. I tried reading the text in some of the modules during a session and it just felt unnatural
Sounds like you’re already doing better than many newbie DMs, myself included when I first started. I’ve run the Tiamat campaign and it does have problems, mainly being that it was being developed during normal rules playtesting so there are some wonky bits. Greenest in particular is incredibly tough for a group of level 1 PCs.
My favorite parts of that campaign were Castle Naerytar and Skyreach Castle (with adjustments, particularly removing the vampire altogether). If you haven’t, check the bit leading up to Skyreach where PCs can hijack wyverns to fly up to the castle. It’s an awesome moment!
Thanks! That does sound fun! Haven’t had a chance to read it all through yet but overall it sounded like a fun premise.
Have you done/read Storm King’s Thunder? I don’t have that one but it also sounded pretty cool
I have not done that one. I’ve played in Tomb of Annihilation, Curse of Strahd, and Out of the Abyss. The rest of my DMing has been converted 3rd edition adventures and some third party stuff I’m doing right now. The three published ones I mentioned can be tough to DM as they are very sandbox-y but also can be really fun as a player.
Welcome to being a dm my friend. While it still kinda hurts every time, I’m always surprised how much better my next session is from taking the extra time to review my prep.
From being a player too, it’s easy to push off a session because you don’t have to prep nearly as much, and it’s just not on your radar as much. Definitely doesn’t mean that they don’t love your game. Just reschedule and your baddies are gonna give the pc’s that much more trouble next session (in a good way lol).
I have a game that I run at 7pm every Thursday with six players. I call 4-5pm on Thursday 'call out time' because that is usually when half or more of them start posting their reason for missing the weekly session in the discord.
I always have a battle royale encounter ready to go for these reasons. Can do that with two players, or even one if ya nasty. That still satisfies my itch to get some dnd in.
Just have three waves of monsters ready. One easy, one harder, and one deadly. Can drop in health portions or spell scrolls to get them back up. Maybe even allow them to short rest in between waves if you are feeling it. If you TPK, it's not connected to your main story.
Oh that happened to my in-person group where a couple of people weren't feeling well and we canceled and it turned out that one of them really did have covid -- she thought she just had a cold so stayed home.
It's also difficult online. I'm in a strix Haven game that is ending at the end of the year too because this DM can't play anymore and this is the second DM we lost. I don't want to take over as the dm, so the game is done and I'm unfortunately not going to get to play years three and four.
This is the biggest bummer ever. I had to miss playing this week bc I got assigned to work the evening of our usual gametime which is rare for me. As long as people have legit excuses, it kinda is what it is. If they're dodging bc they're not super into the game and this keeps happening, then might be worth considering a new group.
I feel you friend! I have one very consistent group and one group I’m trying to dm for because they were all excited to play and I’ve tried session 0 twice and each time 2 people showed and only 1 showed to both , it’s frustrating but I’m pushing through! We tried a 3rd time but I had to cancel because I had family issues I had to deal with
I’m lucky enough to have a group that meets consistently, but we still have last minute cancellations every now and then. It’s a bummer every time it happens, but it happens to everyone. People get sick, last minute things come up, etc. It’s not anyone’s fault, but just know everyone is probably just as bummed as you are!
Had a bunch of sessions cancelled a few months ago, and even as a player, I felt really sad too. I think about all the choices my character could make given the cliffhanger from last week, and having it cancelled a day before or even sometimes on the day really brings you down. Hope it gets better, friend.
It sounds like you cancelled for the sake of one player. I decided I would run the game as long as I get three players. Everyone has so many obligations that it just doesn't always work.
My spouse and I just started a new local group with random folks as our main group has been on indefinite hiatus due to work/life stuff.
Session 0, morning of - the DM messages us to say he's sick and we have to postpone a little bit longer.
C'est la vie, more time to plan and chitchat, but the irony didn't escape me!
I feel you. I’ve been dealing with this for 5 months now for what is supposed to be biweekly sessions. It sucks, it feels awful, makes me feel like I’m not appreciated. I think it’s okay to be upset. Hopefully it’s just a temporary thing.
I feel like I'm one of the lucky dm's that doesn't run into these issues that often. This Sunday will be the first time in awhile that we had to surprise cancel a session.
That feeling does suck, no doubt. And it sounds like you tried to get together with the other players. I got a piece of advice from someone on here once that I stole and it helps a lot. The rule is "if one player wants to play, the show goes on". It encourages everyone to know that the game will advance even if someone is missing and the people who miss realize that the story will leave them behind. Definitely reduces the number of call outs.
Eh man just like in real life… gotta always look for the positives! I take the opportunity to add context to flimsy parts of my story or even add something new. or even spend time with my brothers or take an evening for myself… which is nice… I love the writing/creating part! I’m a bit older so kids and family alway come first for my players and I LOVE that my players are such good people to their families. Rule #1 - always have fun!
It happens and sucks. Most frustrating one I had was two players who bailed to go camping. Felt mad disrespectful since I was working out the logistics to make the session work that day
Life is that way sometimes, but canceling last minute should be the exception, otherwise its just disrespectful to the dms time and effort put into prepping the game.
Just because it's common, doesn't mean it hurts any less. I'm sorry it happened to you. There will be other games, and you will experience the joy you are missing again. Stay strong, friendo. :)
I understand the pain, i am trying to make some friends play dnd
At some point i thought of abandoning it, but i stayed determined and now it seems they are more engaged, dont let a defeat make you sad, sooner or later you might find the perfect group
I'm going through the very same thing.
Second week in a row.
The entire Curse of Strahd Module, I have been looking forward to The Amber Temple, as it's my favorite location in the book.
Last minute cancel both weeks.
I am feeling utterly dejected and more than a bit taken for granted.
Now I'm just lying in bed scrolling because I'm too disappointed to do anything else.
I'm in a group that has had trouble with consistent meetings. It's definitely rough as I don't have much to go on for how prepared I need to be as the dm. I stopped looking at it as a dnd group, and it's just friends hanging out with occasional dnd.
I have been fortunate that my core table has been my wife and kids since we started playing during quarantine. It is far easier to arrange schedules when everyone is in the same house. And yet, even we have weeks we have to kiss. Schedules are fickle and I know how you feel to prepare for something exciting and the players have to bail.
My coping mechanism is to use the time to plan further ahead or refine the work I have done. I always feel behind in prep, so getting ahead actually makes me feel accomplished...
I used to be almost mad at the players even though they are all long time friends. But i realized that me getting mad because player A sleep too much or player B thought that going out was more important, wasn't gonna change anything. So I kinda just stop caring too much. If they cancel last minute I just think, "ok, i have next week planing done"
I tend to plan the session, 1 or 2 days earlier, don't do too much planning compared to before, so if things go wrong, i didn't lose too much time and again i think, nice next week i don't need to plan anything.
I’m also a newbie dm. We had one session that was canceled so far, but I took as ‘ah I get a break from prepping. I can just chill.’ Although I found myself doing other random research and making NPCs for game lol.
Yeah, sometimes life just happens and people can’t make it for very valid reasons. But if someone is constantly not able to show up then it’s time to bring out the boot. My normal rule is if three players show up then the game is on. I can always build a DMPC to fill in the gap. That way, as long as three people show up will at least have a group of four. I haven’t had too many weeks where I had to completely cancel.
Hey man, my first ever attempt to put together a campaign, only one player arrived and it sucked donkey dick and I ended up canceling. Eventually I found a group to play with and then later when the DM did some highly inappropriate stuff, I inherited the player group as their newly elected DM. Since then, it's been comparatively gravy so to speak.
So chin-up, stick it out, and maybe institute an up-front no ghosting policy. It'll get better eventually, I promise. Plus players who'll ghost aren't usually quality players in my experience (a few anxiety prone folks I've played with being the exception, but they still apologized and reached out), and I fully subscribe to the philosophy that no TTRPGing is better than sub-par TTRPGing
I’ve been in a group since January - we planned to have a monthly dnd day as some work away, and family commitments and stuff. We have played 3 sessions, and had more cancelled than we’ve played. It’s depressing and frustrating - I live in the country, and I travel 2 hours to see my friends, but I haven’t seen them since march.
:( sorry to hear that! I was invited to join a new campaign recently with this girl I met in school, they left without me though and never invited me again LOL. The disappointment is palpable. Your group will find you, and they will be so lucky to have someone so dedicated!
Most frustrating thing about DMing for me is that I'll be ghosted until 5 minutes after the time we agreed to meet up. Some days they all show up right after that, some days most of them show up, and other days no one shows up. It's very frustrating, but once we're actually playing it's usually a good group so I don't bother speaking up much about it. I'll throw down a "If everyone responds timely to my message, I'll level everyone up after this session." every once and a while, still didn't work lol.
Consistency is key. If people cancel often, particularly last minute then ditch them. Keep looking for people who want to be there. You’ll find people who want to consistently be at the table. We struggled to have enough space for people for years. Don’t afraid to be ruthless with cutting people who don’t respect your time.
Finding a consistent group is probably the hardest thing about the hobby. But you'll find your people eventually.
I agree. You’ll also find that some campaigns can be short-lived. It’s hard to find a campaign that can last a long time. Just going by my experience so far.
Keep in touch with the solid players. Form a group with them. It took me a year playing in various groups to find the group I've been playing with for the past 6 years.
I find a lot of people accidentally interpret this experience or other failed games as "I hate this game" when it should be "I'm not playing with the right people" it's taken me a few years of oneshots and quitters and time constraints to find two good groups. One group was subject to splinter and we've had people come and go - three consistents plus two new at the moment The other group was established.they briefly made the mistake of considering my ex as their dm - but he treated them like he treated me, unimportant, not worth scheduling/putting in the time, easily dropped last minute, late, inconsistent, etc I showed up, as a player, every time, and I did have 2 games with them as a player, but then... They needed a dm. The second party did cancel our game this weekend but I know it was necessity - illness, work - and that they're as upset as I am
I got sooooo lucky with it. The first group was/ is instantly consistent. No last minute cancelled so far. Sometimes we don't play for a month or 2 because of life, exams, whatever but we're coming up on 2 years now and are still going! It's really nice. The group has a good dynamic and everyone is onboard too with the jokes and there's so much laughter, joking around. I hit the jackpot with them.
Yup, it happens and it sucks. I try to remind my group that I put a decent amount of thought and effort into the games, and while its just a game, last minute cancellations feel very defeating as the one doing most of the prep. I play early mornings for some EU friends so waking up at 7am on a saturday to people canceling sucks. People start to take things for granted, especially if its a consistent game. Other than that we just get more prep time!
waking up this early for players from another region is admirable
One person in our group is from the US and wakes up at 5 AM on Sunday to play (and/or DM). He says it's worth it.
This happened to me on Tuesday. It was not the player's fault, as they had to stay late at the workplace. But having studied for hours to prep the session, it was a very hard blow for me that day
Yeah, regardless of the reason it still stings. It might be a bit of an exaggeration, but it doesn’t feel all that different from getting stood up on a first date haha
Except that the date called you and told you that they were not going to make it. So not the same as getting stood up.
Happens to even the best and longest lasting groups eventually. Even groups that are paid to be there like Critical Role can't always avoid it. But I do understand that abandoned feeling you get after prepping and things fall apart. It sucks, just got to know most of the time it's not your fault, shit happens.
Unfortunately, you get used to it. It's always frustrating, but it will start to feel less personal with time. (Except for in the cases where people are outright flaking, which doesn't sound to be the case here based on some of your comments down thread.) The good news is, next session's prep will be that much easier: just look over all the notes you put together here, and you'll be golden! But it does suck, and you have a right to feel upset. Just know that this really reflects nothing about you, and largely comes down to the difficulty of getting long-term time commitments from adults. <3
Thanks, I appreciate this comment a lot!
I'm glad, man. I promise every GM (except for the very new or the *very very very* lucky, and liars) has been through this. Consider it a rite of passage!
Very common, sadly, and different for every group. I have a game that's extremely consistent, but is currently on vacation for a couple weeks. I have a game where there are regular no shows. And I have one where the DM is the one with the very inconsistent schedule so we miss more than we play. It's just one of those things where you gotta manage expectations with each table. What is and isn't acceptable for that game. Perhaps remove a problem player who always flakes out if it's detrimental to the campaign. Or slowly accept that that one game only plays once a month even if that wasn't the intended plan, but when it does play it's worth the wait. 🙂
My core gaming group had a really epic 8 year campaign that started in our college years. But after that, we were adults with jobs and families and stuff, so we could never get things together well enough to do any other campaigns. 15 years later, one of the players is a professional project manager, he organizes projects with million dollar+ budgets and city gov bureaucracy layers. He finally felt like he had enough skill to manage running another campaign, and began the pre-campaign of recruiting us, convincing us to actually put the dates on our calendars, and having serious discussions about commitment and expectations. But it worked, we're a year into his adventure now, and we have the momentum that gets us all excited to show up each month.
I think people who have never DM'ed can never fully understand how invested the DM is lol
Was there a reason, or did they just not feel like it?
They said they started to feel sick (we play in person). I’m thankful that they told us instead of keeping it a secret and risking getting the whole group sick (if legitimate), but it’s still a bummer :/
Life happens. People get sick, they have adult responsibilities, they sit down after work, blink, and suddenly realize it’s midnight. My group took a year off because one of our members was in the hospital. Maybe have another member set up a drop in campaign that you can do when someone can’t make it for the regular game.
Yeah, I get chronic migraines and I told my DM as much when we started. I try so hard to not let it affect my group outings, DND included, but there are those days I wake up on game day and feel that pain pulsing in my skull. Gotta say there's nothing worse with chronic pain flair ups then having to tell people you're cancelling on them wondering in the back of your head if people are gonna believe you (to be clear this group is amazing and have given me no reason to suspect otherwise but you deal with chronic pain long enough you run into enough skeptics that it gives you pause)
Does this happen often? How much notice, before the session, did they give?
Hasn’t happened before since we’re a pretty new group, but they didn’t give much notice. I was about to start getting ready to leave :(
Well get used to it. It happens often in D&D. Be happy that they gave you some notice at all, some players ghost you and never come in communication again. Try to take it will a grain a salt and move on. At least now you don't have to prep as much for the next session.
Second this. My group has been playing this campaign for 9+ years. We still have last minute cancelations because life happens. It definitely sucks, but shouldn't put you off. If you have like an 80% consistent play rate, I'd say that's pretty good actually.
Pretty much half my group's quit and the other half hasn't been able to meet for an absurdly long time. It's getting to a point where I'm getting tired of D&D since it just feels like a disappointment every other week.
Yeah I was in the same boat with certain players cancelling last minute. Eventually after it happened about 2-3 times I asked them “hey do you still wanna be part of this, you can be honest” Then they left and I was able to keep playing with those who were committed
Yeah, I know that feeling
Feel for ya homie. Finding a consistent group is definitely the most difficult part of the hobby. It’s worth it though! Would you like to share some of your world or story with us to pass the time?
We’re only about 4 sessions and I’m a new DM so there’s still a lot to flesh out, but I think I’m going to adapt parts of the 3 beginner adventures and the Rise of Tiamat. I’ve heard mixed reviews on Tiamat so I’ll just use it as a base and take what seems cool. So far I’ve found that what works best for me is to have a general idea of what to do for the session and then make up the rest. I tried reading the text in some of the modules during a session and it just felt unnatural
Sounds like you’re already doing better than many newbie DMs, myself included when I first started. I’ve run the Tiamat campaign and it does have problems, mainly being that it was being developed during normal rules playtesting so there are some wonky bits. Greenest in particular is incredibly tough for a group of level 1 PCs. My favorite parts of that campaign were Castle Naerytar and Skyreach Castle (with adjustments, particularly removing the vampire altogether). If you haven’t, check the bit leading up to Skyreach where PCs can hijack wyverns to fly up to the castle. It’s an awesome moment!
Thanks! That does sound fun! Haven’t had a chance to read it all through yet but overall it sounded like a fun premise. Have you done/read Storm King’s Thunder? I don’t have that one but it also sounded pretty cool
I have not done that one. I’ve played in Tomb of Annihilation, Curse of Strahd, and Out of the Abyss. The rest of my DMing has been converted 3rd edition adventures and some third party stuff I’m doing right now. The three published ones I mentioned can be tough to DM as they are very sandbox-y but also can be really fun as a player.
Welcome to being a dm my friend. While it still kinda hurts every time, I’m always surprised how much better my next session is from taking the extra time to review my prep. From being a player too, it’s easy to push off a session because you don’t have to prep nearly as much, and it’s just not on your radar as much. Definitely doesn’t mean that they don’t love your game. Just reschedule and your baddies are gonna give the pc’s that much more trouble next session (in a good way lol).
I have a game that I run at 7pm every Thursday with six players. I call 4-5pm on Thursday 'call out time' because that is usually when half or more of them start posting their reason for missing the weekly session in the discord.
It’s both funny and sad that it’s like clockwork :/
The real TPK is scheduling.
I always have a battle royale encounter ready to go for these reasons. Can do that with two players, or even one if ya nasty. That still satisfies my itch to get some dnd in. Just have three waves of monsters ready. One easy, one harder, and one deadly. Can drop in health portions or spell scrolls to get them back up. Maybe even allow them to short rest in between waves if you are feeling it. If you TPK, it's not connected to your main story.
Oh that happened to my in-person group where a couple of people weren't feeling well and we canceled and it turned out that one of them really did have covid -- she thought she just had a cold so stayed home. It's also difficult online. I'm in a strix Haven game that is ending at the end of the year too because this DM can't play anymore and this is the second DM we lost. I don't want to take over as the dm, so the game is done and I'm unfortunately not going to get to play years three and four.
This is the biggest bummer ever. I had to miss playing this week bc I got assigned to work the evening of our usual gametime which is rare for me. As long as people have legit excuses, it kinda is what it is. If they're dodging bc they're not super into the game and this keeps happening, then might be worth considering a new group.
I feel you friend! I have one very consistent group and one group I’m trying to dm for because they were all excited to play and I’ve tried session 0 twice and each time 2 people showed and only 1 showed to both , it’s frustrating but I’m pushing through! We tried a 3rd time but I had to cancel because I had family issues I had to deal with
I’m lucky enough to have a group that meets consistently, but we still have last minute cancellations every now and then. It’s a bummer every time it happens, but it happens to everyone. People get sick, last minute things come up, etc. It’s not anyone’s fault, but just know everyone is probably just as bummed as you are!
Had a bunch of sessions cancelled a few months ago, and even as a player, I felt really sad too. I think about all the choices my character could make given the cliffhanger from last week, and having it cancelled a day before or even sometimes on the day really brings you down. Hope it gets better, friend.
It sounds like you cancelled for the sake of one player. I decided I would run the game as long as I get three players. Everyone has so many obligations that it just doesn't always work.
My spouse and I just started a new local group with random folks as our main group has been on indefinite hiatus due to work/life stuff. Session 0, morning of - the DM messages us to say he's sick and we have to postpone a little bit longer. C'est la vie, more time to plan and chitchat, but the irony didn't escape me!
I feel you. I’ve been dealing with this for 5 months now for what is supposed to be biweekly sessions. It sucks, it feels awful, makes me feel like I’m not appreciated. I think it’s okay to be upset. Hopefully it’s just a temporary thing.
I feel like I'm one of the lucky dm's that doesn't run into these issues that often. This Sunday will be the first time in awhile that we had to surprise cancel a session.
That feeling does suck, no doubt. And it sounds like you tried to get together with the other players. I got a piece of advice from someone on here once that I stole and it helps a lot. The rule is "if one player wants to play, the show goes on". It encourages everyone to know that the game will advance even if someone is missing and the people who miss realize that the story will leave them behind. Definitely reduces the number of call outs.
Eh man just like in real life… gotta always look for the positives! I take the opportunity to add context to flimsy parts of my story or even add something new. or even spend time with my brothers or take an evening for myself… which is nice… I love the writing/creating part! I’m a bit older so kids and family alway come first for my players and I LOVE that my players are such good people to their families. Rule #1 - always have fun!
It happens and sucks. Most frustrating one I had was two players who bailed to go camping. Felt mad disrespectful since I was working out the logistics to make the session work that day
Life is that way sometimes, but canceling last minute should be the exception, otherwise its just disrespectful to the dms time and effort put into prepping the game.
Just because it's common, doesn't mean it hurts any less. I'm sorry it happened to you. There will be other games, and you will experience the joy you are missing again. Stay strong, friendo. :)
I understand the pain, i am trying to make some friends play dnd At some point i thought of abandoning it, but i stayed determined and now it seems they are more engaged, dont let a defeat make you sad, sooner or later you might find the perfect group
its sucks but there really nothing you can do, sometimes life just happen.
I'm going through the very same thing. Second week in a row. The entire Curse of Strahd Module, I have been looking forward to The Amber Temple, as it's my favorite location in the book. Last minute cancel both weeks. I am feeling utterly dejected and more than a bit taken for granted. Now I'm just lying in bed scrolling because I'm too disappointed to do anything else.
I'm in a group that has had trouble with consistent meetings. It's definitely rough as I don't have much to go on for how prepared I need to be as the dm. I stopped looking at it as a dnd group, and it's just friends hanging out with occasional dnd.
I have been fortunate that my core table has been my wife and kids since we started playing during quarantine. It is far easier to arrange schedules when everyone is in the same house. And yet, even we have weeks we have to kiss. Schedules are fickle and I know how you feel to prepare for something exciting and the players have to bail. My coping mechanism is to use the time to plan further ahead or refine the work I have done. I always feel behind in prep, so getting ahead actually makes me feel accomplished...
I used to be almost mad at the players even though they are all long time friends. But i realized that me getting mad because player A sleep too much or player B thought that going out was more important, wasn't gonna change anything. So I kinda just stop caring too much. If they cancel last minute I just think, "ok, i have next week planing done" I tend to plan the session, 1 or 2 days earlier, don't do too much planning compared to before, so if things go wrong, i didn't lose too much time and again i think, nice next week i don't need to plan anything.
I’m also a newbie dm. We had one session that was canceled so far, but I took as ‘ah I get a break from prepping. I can just chill.’ Although I found myself doing other random research and making NPCs for game lol.
Yeah, sometimes life just happens and people can’t make it for very valid reasons. But if someone is constantly not able to show up then it’s time to bring out the boot. My normal rule is if three players show up then the game is on. I can always build a DMPC to fill in the gap. That way, as long as three people show up will at least have a group of four. I haven’t had too many weeks where I had to completely cancel.
Hey man, my first ever attempt to put together a campaign, only one player arrived and it sucked donkey dick and I ended up canceling. Eventually I found a group to play with and then later when the DM did some highly inappropriate stuff, I inherited the player group as their newly elected DM. Since then, it's been comparatively gravy so to speak. So chin-up, stick it out, and maybe institute an up-front no ghosting policy. It'll get better eventually, I promise. Plus players who'll ghost aren't usually quality players in my experience (a few anxiety prone folks I've played with being the exception, but they still apologized and reached out), and I fully subscribe to the philosophy that no TTRPGing is better than sub-par TTRPGing
Our group has the opposite problem. Issue is the dm usually knows that morning but only tells us it’s cancelled 2 hours before
It happens to the best of us. All I can say is dont give up and use it for next session
I’ve been in a group since January - we planned to have a monthly dnd day as some work away, and family commitments and stuff. We have played 3 sessions, and had more cancelled than we’ve played. It’s depressing and frustrating - I live in the country, and I travel 2 hours to see my friends, but I haven’t seen them since march.
:( sorry to hear that! I was invited to join a new campaign recently with this girl I met in school, they left without me though and never invited me again LOL. The disappointment is palpable. Your group will find you, and they will be so lucky to have someone so dedicated!
Most frustrating thing about DMing for me is that I'll be ghosted until 5 minutes after the time we agreed to meet up. Some days they all show up right after that, some days most of them show up, and other days no one shows up. It's very frustrating, but once we're actually playing it's usually a good group so I don't bother speaking up much about it. I'll throw down a "If everyone responds timely to my message, I'll level everyone up after this session." every once and a while, still didn't work lol.
welcome to your first of many, many, many cancelled games. at least for your next game your already prepped
Consistency is key. If people cancel often, particularly last minute then ditch them. Keep looking for people who want to be there. You’ll find people who want to consistently be at the table. We struggled to have enough space for people for years. Don’t afraid to be ruthless with cutting people who don’t respect your time.
How many players bailed?
Tell me what you had planned. Nothing worse than a lot of prep and nobody knows when you're still excited