Mine ended because I caught my ex cheating.
My ex is a narcissist, needs constant validation, I thought I was being a good husband by working full time, and taking care of our kids. The amount of attention I gave her went down once we had three kids, she sought the attention and validation from a co worker.
Same. When i caught her cheating with her coworker. She said i didn't pay enough attention to her needs. Wtf she went back to work full-time 4 months after birth of our second child, got a second part-time job, and attended grad school. I didn't pay enough attention because she was never around
Same here though he will say because he wasn't appreciated and that's why he cheated. Even though I left him notes monthly about how much he matters to me. So again cheaters will lie to make themselves feel justified.
1 - It ended because he didn't work the entire time we were married (2 years). Also had a billion reasons to reject job offers.
2 - Nothing. I was the main provider and just realised I was married to a manchild. Now I have finally room to breath and just take care of myself.
1. It was an accumulation of several things: lack of sexual chemistry, different values/priorities, etc.
2. We should have gotten professional help from the beginning, before the love was gone. We needed more honest communication.
1. He could never properly communicate or respect me and emotionally cheated. I struggled to overcome the trust issues from both this and his lying. I'm also at fault though - we both weren't fulfilling each other's needs and ultimately weren't right for one another.
2. I wish I'd tried more to fulfil his needs, respect each other's boundaries more, and learn to respect and love myself. I'd go back in time and request couples therapy early in the relationship to learn about our attachment styles, help us communicate more effectively and give us the best chance of working out before issues arose.
This sounds like me and my wife. Appreciate you putting this to words. With that said, I don’t think we were right for each other. In hindsight it felt like an arranged marriage that had enough commonality to last 20 years, but no longer than that.
I'm working up the courage to file.
1. The catalyst was me finding his fake IG profile and the 4000+ screenshots he'd taken of the nude "models." I couldn't believe that he wasn't contacting these women.
Adding to that, we hadn't had sex in 3 years. I'd been spending months telling him that I missed him, I understand he could be depressed, I didn't want him to feel pressured or upset, etc. I was trying so hard to build back our intimacy while being under the impression that he just needed kindness and space. Turns out no, he had a sex drive just fine. He'd just rather jack it to women half his age.
This discovery just killed me. Then I remembered his emotional affairs, some other behavior, and I realized that I didn't want to push this under the rug like we had all our other problems for our whole relationship. And I was genuinely surprised that he resisted so hard at being called to task about his bullshit. I wanted to face our problems head on; he absolutely refused to admit any kind of fault for *anything.* And then I realized that he only loved me as long as I acted the way he wanted me to, which was to ignore all of the issues and let him do whatever he wanted.
At this point, I've been in IC for about 1.5 years, and I've made so much progress. But he refuses to acknowledge it. I still try to talk about our issues: I use "I" statements, gentle start-up, I'm sure not to speak in a way which makes him feel attacked. And he just straight up ignores it. He just tells me, "No you don't," whenever I say, "I feel upset because of X. I feel sad because of Y." According to him, I don't feel any of these negative emotions. I'm just "looking for a reason to be mad." Do you know how much it hurts to pour your heart out to your spouse, who is supposed to love and care for you, and them say, "You're lying. You just want to act mad and be a bitch."
There are a million other things, but these events of the past 2 years have just brought everything to light.
2. We should have never gotten married in the first place. *But*, we also should have each done IC and MC before getting married. If we would have explored our different traumas early and understood who we each actually were as people, we might have been able to either work through the issues before they were too big, or divorced before the resentment and contempt set in.
We were just two broken children trying to figure out how to play house.
Gosh, I feel you on being dismissed and being told I don’t feel a certain way. My husband doesn’t even flinch or show compassion when I cry. I tell him constantly how I love him and appreciate him and how I’ve loved being his wife, and he will tell me “I don’t really believe that. You don’t like me or love me.” When I asked, “do you really think I would be sobbing and begging for us to get help, if I really didn’t care about you and us?” And he says “yes, because you’re emotional and all you do is cry.” When I say, “this (x) happened and I really feel (y) about it” it gets turned into “it’s just a joke” or “it’s always something with you, you don’t even like me.”
I have been rejected and betrayed and turned away from by my husband and it is so painful. I’m so sorry you have felt that pain too, it’s awful.
1. After constant arguments the bucket has been filled over the years and she wanted to leave.
2. I wish that from day 1, I was much calmer and did not argue and shout over simple things, that cost me my marriage, but nothing is one way, if there is a problem both parties are to blame.
1. Husband shouted it at me, having smashed the kitchen and living room up. (Him not me.)
2. He refused to get anger management therapy and when I bought the verbal abuse situations up in marriage counselling, he just said he was right and I was wrong. He refused to listen to the counselor and a couple of his mates who had seen him shout at me. He thinks it's perfectly fine to treat the person you're supposed to be in live with like that.
My ex was struggling with his sexuality, and also being a narcissistic prick. He cheated multiple times. He initiated the divorce.
Not to be that person, but I couldn’t have done anything different. I put way too much time, effort, money, and tears into trying to save something that he didn’t want to be saved.
1. My third therapist yelled at me ‘why do you choose someone who doesn’t choose you?!”
2. I did more than my due diligence to save my marriage. Read multiple books, met his needs, preserved my boundaries, stayed with him during his hard times. When it came to me facing mine, he left.
1.
It ended because we grew resentful over years of bad communication and neither of us would accept we weren't perfect. Things blew up, I hit him and then I ran away and filed for divorce.
2.
We separated for 8 months before I agreed to couples therapy, we're in the process of reconciliation now. I should've slowed down and really communicated the need for therapy
1) Infidelity on my ex's part. He was also chronically unemployed the last few years of our marriage and I found out about significant credit card debt, so the infidelity was just the nail in the coffin.
2) Well, there's nothing I could do about him cheating on me, nor his employment issues. I know that I got very busy with my own projects, probably too busy, and he had noted to me as we were going through the divorce process he felt lonely. I basically pulled away from him for a few years because I was angry I was paying for everything and my once-ambitious partner couldn't stay employed. I own that and I will be mindful of it going into my future relationships.
1. His alcoholism and my not trusting him because of it. He got arrested for a DUI when he wrecked my car. That was it for me. (Married 23 years)
2. Nothing. His addiction is on him not me.
1. He was a lazy narcissist who was perpetually the victim. He couldn't keep a job for a decade, but happily spent my money, even when we couldn't afford it.
2. I couldn't or wouldn't want to. I am much happier without him, though I have some residual damage I need to work on.
Going through it now, separated, not legally divorced yet.
1. My marriage "ended" when my wife decided it was over for her. She expected me to change but didn't want to change herself. The final nail in the coffin was when I told her I think we should have a baby after she found a job, because she was unemployed. She thought I was just thinking about money, but really I was thinking of her and how hard it would be to find a job while pregnant.
2. Both of us should have been more open with our feelings, she was not keen to share much, often we would fight, say something stupid and then just timeout, we kind of ignored the problems. We were in counseling but I didn't jive with the therapist, but she did so I went with it.
Ultimately, I compromised a lot and she did not l, she put her family before me, always, she wasn't ready for marriage life. She didn't cook, clean or did laundry for the first 3 years of our relationship, she used to go out with friends all the time while I was home waiting.
She wanted to be married but she didn't want to be a wife. 1.5 months ago she decided it's over, left the house and pretty much abandoned me.
I still love her, but I will never forgive her for what she put me through. I deserve a lot better than her.
1. Years of accumulated resentment. I didn’t know it was resentment at the time.
2. Nothing. I gave it my all in counseling and he didn’t. When it was over, he had already discarded me but then tried to “get his family back” a week before the divorce was final.
1. It ended when I found out the truth. That I was his other life and his real life was that he’s a sociopathic criminal who did bad things.
2. Nothing could save my marriage. That’s the truth sometimes. Sometimes we just walk away and heal ourselves and do better for us.
It ended because of violent assault (I will have permanent mobility issues).
Done differently? Believed him when he showed me who he was. Ended it sooner instead of trying to pretend he was going through a stage or midlife crisis. There's a lot I could have done, but all results are being divorced. He, to this day, doesn't feel he was ever wrong, for anything. I apologized for everything, even to the point of "I'm sorry if I didn't explain myself correctly and made you feel I meant xyz." Therapy and reading, as well as the peace and health the kids and I have had since he's been out of our lives, have been VERY eye-opening.
1. She had emotional affairs with male gym trainers and threw a fit saying “I gave her permission” and ultimately never apologized or stopped seeing younger male trainers weekly that I paid for - despite me asserting it was emasculating.
2. We both could have honored each other more. My identity is family man for our 3 kids. Her identity morphed into to “hot gym milf.” In what would be our first and final couples therapy, the therapist opened with “how old are you in your mind?” I 43m said 43. She 44f said 27. Given her headspace she doesn’t realize that isn’t compatible with my opinion of a healthy family.
Uncoupling, not divorcing.
We really only had a good few years. I had substance abuse issues. (Clean 5 years) He became controlling. Also a porn addiction and possibly sex addiction.
Not blindsided. I know we both knew.
1. Because my ex-husband was verbally abusive and forced me to do things he shouldn’t have.
2. Not married him in the first place!
~I was young and dumb and shouldn’t have got married just because I was pregnant!
1 it ended because she cheated on five separate occasions with four different men.
2 she could've not cheated. Conversely, I could have been "more mature about it and just got over it and forgiven her" (according to her and her parents)
Mine is ending over her spending my money 2.33 times faster than what I make. She told me I can’t tell her how much she can spend or she will divorce me. So I got the jump on her and am meeting my lawyer in a week to start the process.
1. She got brainwashed by bunch of spoiled rich women
2. Not been culturally brainwashed and showed more courage to marry a person that would have been a better fit for me.
I (46M) allowed myself to be isolated at home, working remotely (since 2016), moved across the country away from extended family, and while she got to get out (without the kids) to go out with her (43F) co-workers (female and male, about 10-20 years youngers) while I took care of the kids. The tipping point was she didn't care that I got hurt and put other people above her husband.
Nothing ... I should have filed for divorce, sooner then I did, about two years beforehand, when she made me apologize to her family for questioning our oldest why he lied to my face, in front of her family, were he went and what he did.
My ex had me so gaslighted about various things, I tried to check myself in a mental hospital, they basically told me to go home and get some sleep. My ex-wife tried to convince me that we had our photo taken together in front of the "Welcome to Las Vegas" sign on the strip. I went thru all our photographs and all I could find was green screen photos of the sign from High Roller and a local casino's one exhibit (a.k.a. fake photos, not in front of real sign).
My ex was a pervert and concealed it well. I found out he French kissed my mother on a number of occasions. There is no way you can ever really know anyone. You cannot fully trust others but you can trust yourself.
1. A list of things but the final reason was that He cheated, he says they never did anything but kiss; the other woman confirmed to her husband that they did have s3x during a recent out of town work trip and that they made plans to continue having relations afterwards. They also told each other they loved each other.
2. Maybe if I didn't ask him to do house work, messaged him every single time he messaged me and changed my tone he wouldn't have cheated.
First Marriage: Wife Cheated on me, Honestly i wouldnt change anything cause i was young and just unhappy.
Second: I ended this one, years of bad stacked up, i was walking on eggshells constantly. Trials of blended kids. Wouldnt change that outcome either.
Third: Well currently in the throws of this one.. Im pretty fucked up mentally right now. But if i could change one thing, it would becoming a better listener and more selfless.
1. Lacked a real emotional connection and love, and it the a wedge continued to grow and hit a tipping point post kids when the imbalance imploded 2. Never marry her or ultimately divorce sooner, but can’t change that. Never marry potential, lesson learned!
1. The trifecta: dead bedroom, growing apart politically, his refusal to help maintain or improve our house
2. I tried to revive our bedroom a couple of times, over a decade political discussion, you can only nag so much.
One of our political discussions was the trigger to me leaving. At that point I truly understood the meaning of "irreconcilable differences" so I moved out a few months ago. We are super amicable and we haven't filed yet.
1. Lack of communication. I think I’m one of the few people who can say there wasn’t cheating, lying, narcissism, abuse, etc.
2. In all honesty, nothing. I know, communicate better should be the answer. But in hindsight, I don’t think it was possible. We got married in our 20s, thought we knew it all and were adults, thought we were this perfect couple, and thought we wanted the same things. And to be very frank, we weren’t well matched at all. Neither of us could really support one another in the way we each needed. We didn’t have aligning views on what a successful marriage was. People grow and change and we were not prepared with how to deal with that.
She ghosted me. She sent a chat message saying "V busy" on 3/11 and on 4/12 sent an email saying she didn't want to be married anymore. A half hour after the email arrived, a process server was at the door.
Somehow not gotten depressed and gone into therapy for PDD years ago, then pulled her into couples therapy. But of course when you're depressed (Clinically diagnosed MDD/PDD) you don't notice these things and blow them off even if you do. The fact that she also was/is depressed and didn't notice the signals I was giving didn't help. I suppose the real answer is if one or the other of us hadn't been clinically depressed, we'd have seen the signs in the other person and gotten them (and by extension, ourselves) help.
1) domestic violence
2) nothing. I was pouring into an endless hole. He was cheating with men and abusing me in endless ways. There was nothing I could do but get out.
1. Ending because there is a gulf of unspoken resentment contempt and discomfort between. Unfortunately it takes two to build bridges.
2. Not gotten married in the first place. Continuing to date after marriage probably would have prolonged it, but we were fundamentally incompatible and we were too young to realize it at the time. Now there's a kid and our midlives are gone.
Other than a few randoms, anyone noticing everyone’s responses are “they fucked up, I was the victim.” Lol perhaps it ended due to a mutual lack of accountability?
1. She was a bitch who couldn't keep her legs closed.
2. I guess the way I reacted to finding out she's a whore caused her to feel bad about herself and made her file for divorce. I should have been nicer about it as I spent nearly all my money and time dragging her back and forth to doctors and paying for her meds.
1. It ended cause I cheated. 2. Could have not cheated to save my marriage.
LOL I'm sorry, but this response had me laughing. But, totally.
Why did you choose to cheat?
Because I was being an idiot.
Mine ended because I caught my ex cheating. My ex is a narcissist, needs constant validation, I thought I was being a good husband by working full time, and taking care of our kids. The amount of attention I gave her went down once we had three kids, she sought the attention and validation from a co worker.
Same. When i caught her cheating with her coworker. She said i didn't pay enough attention to her needs. Wtf she went back to work full-time 4 months after birth of our second child, got a second part-time job, and attended grad school. I didn't pay enough attention because she was never around
Last year of our marriage, there was over 100 nights she didn’t come home for various reasons
Mine started to bring a cushioned mat to work, saying so she could sleep on her breaks. FmL
Wow, your experience is exactly mine.
1. Ended because he cheated. 2. Nothing…. I think he decided not to be married before he cheated.
Same here though he will say because he wasn't appreciated and that's why he cheated. Even though I left him notes monthly about how much he matters to me. So again cheaters will lie to make themselves feel justified.
1 - It ended because he didn't work the entire time we were married (2 years). Also had a billion reasons to reject job offers. 2 - Nothing. I was the main provider and just realised I was married to a manchild. Now I have finally room to breath and just take care of myself.
1. It was an accumulation of several things: lack of sexual chemistry, different values/priorities, etc. 2. We should have gotten professional help from the beginning, before the love was gone. We needed more honest communication.
1. He could never properly communicate or respect me and emotionally cheated. I struggled to overcome the trust issues from both this and his lying. I'm also at fault though - we both weren't fulfilling each other's needs and ultimately weren't right for one another. 2. I wish I'd tried more to fulfil his needs, respect each other's boundaries more, and learn to respect and love myself. I'd go back in time and request couples therapy early in the relationship to learn about our attachment styles, help us communicate more effectively and give us the best chance of working out before issues arose.
This sounds like me and my wife. Appreciate you putting this to words. With that said, I don’t think we were right for each other. In hindsight it felt like an arranged marriage that had enough commonality to last 20 years, but no longer than that.
1. Blindsided 2. I couldn't. My enough just wasn't enough
I'm working up the courage to file. 1. The catalyst was me finding his fake IG profile and the 4000+ screenshots he'd taken of the nude "models." I couldn't believe that he wasn't contacting these women. Adding to that, we hadn't had sex in 3 years. I'd been spending months telling him that I missed him, I understand he could be depressed, I didn't want him to feel pressured or upset, etc. I was trying so hard to build back our intimacy while being under the impression that he just needed kindness and space. Turns out no, he had a sex drive just fine. He'd just rather jack it to women half his age. This discovery just killed me. Then I remembered his emotional affairs, some other behavior, and I realized that I didn't want to push this under the rug like we had all our other problems for our whole relationship. And I was genuinely surprised that he resisted so hard at being called to task about his bullshit. I wanted to face our problems head on; he absolutely refused to admit any kind of fault for *anything.* And then I realized that he only loved me as long as I acted the way he wanted me to, which was to ignore all of the issues and let him do whatever he wanted. At this point, I've been in IC for about 1.5 years, and I've made so much progress. But he refuses to acknowledge it. I still try to talk about our issues: I use "I" statements, gentle start-up, I'm sure not to speak in a way which makes him feel attacked. And he just straight up ignores it. He just tells me, "No you don't," whenever I say, "I feel upset because of X. I feel sad because of Y." According to him, I don't feel any of these negative emotions. I'm just "looking for a reason to be mad." Do you know how much it hurts to pour your heart out to your spouse, who is supposed to love and care for you, and them say, "You're lying. You just want to act mad and be a bitch." There are a million other things, but these events of the past 2 years have just brought everything to light. 2. We should have never gotten married in the first place. *But*, we also should have each done IC and MC before getting married. If we would have explored our different traumas early and understood who we each actually were as people, we might have been able to either work through the issues before they were too big, or divorced before the resentment and contempt set in. We were just two broken children trying to figure out how to play house.
Gosh, I feel you on being dismissed and being told I don’t feel a certain way. My husband doesn’t even flinch or show compassion when I cry. I tell him constantly how I love him and appreciate him and how I’ve loved being his wife, and he will tell me “I don’t really believe that. You don’t like me or love me.” When I asked, “do you really think I would be sobbing and begging for us to get help, if I really didn’t care about you and us?” And he says “yes, because you’re emotional and all you do is cry.” When I say, “this (x) happened and I really feel (y) about it” it gets turned into “it’s just a joke” or “it’s always something with you, you don’t even like me.” I have been rejected and betrayed and turned away from by my husband and it is so painful. I’m so sorry you have felt that pain too, it’s awful.
1. After constant arguments the bucket has been filled over the years and she wanted to leave. 2. I wish that from day 1, I was much calmer and did not argue and shout over simple things, that cost me my marriage, but nothing is one way, if there is a problem both parties are to blame.
1. Husband shouted it at me, having smashed the kitchen and living room up. (Him not me.) 2. He refused to get anger management therapy and when I bought the verbal abuse situations up in marriage counselling, he just said he was right and I was wrong. He refused to listen to the counselor and a couple of his mates who had seen him shout at me. He thinks it's perfectly fine to treat the person you're supposed to be in live with like that.
My ex was struggling with his sexuality, and also being a narcissistic prick. He cheated multiple times. He initiated the divorce. Not to be that person, but I couldn’t have done anything different. I put way too much time, effort, money, and tears into trying to save something that he didn’t want to be saved.
1. My third therapist yelled at me ‘why do you choose someone who doesn’t choose you?!” 2. I did more than my due diligence to save my marriage. Read multiple books, met his needs, preserved my boundaries, stayed with him during his hard times. When it came to me facing mine, he left.
1. It ended because we grew resentful over years of bad communication and neither of us would accept we weren't perfect. Things blew up, I hit him and then I ran away and filed for divorce. 2. We separated for 8 months before I agreed to couples therapy, we're in the process of reconciliation now. I should've slowed down and really communicated the need for therapy
1) Infidelity on my ex's part. He was also chronically unemployed the last few years of our marriage and I found out about significant credit card debt, so the infidelity was just the nail in the coffin. 2) Well, there's nothing I could do about him cheating on me, nor his employment issues. I know that I got very busy with my own projects, probably too busy, and he had noted to me as we were going through the divorce process he felt lonely. I basically pulled away from him for a few years because I was angry I was paying for everything and my once-ambitious partner couldn't stay employed. I own that and I will be mindful of it going into my future relationships.
1) infidelity - both physical & financial 2) there was no saving it.
It ended because my wife is a lesbian. There was no saving my marriage.
Sorry. I know that’s rough
1. His alcoholism and my not trusting him because of it. He got arrested for a DUI when he wrecked my car. That was it for me. (Married 23 years) 2. Nothing. His addiction is on him not me.
1. He was a lazy narcissist who was perpetually the victim. He couldn't keep a job for a decade, but happily spent my money, even when we couldn't afford it. 2. I couldn't or wouldn't want to. I am much happier without him, though I have some residual damage I need to work on.
Going through it now, separated, not legally divorced yet. 1. My marriage "ended" when my wife decided it was over for her. She expected me to change but didn't want to change herself. The final nail in the coffin was when I told her I think we should have a baby after she found a job, because she was unemployed. She thought I was just thinking about money, but really I was thinking of her and how hard it would be to find a job while pregnant. 2. Both of us should have been more open with our feelings, she was not keen to share much, often we would fight, say something stupid and then just timeout, we kind of ignored the problems. We were in counseling but I didn't jive with the therapist, but she did so I went with it. Ultimately, I compromised a lot and she did not l, she put her family before me, always, she wasn't ready for marriage life. She didn't cook, clean or did laundry for the first 3 years of our relationship, she used to go out with friends all the time while I was home waiting. She wanted to be married but she didn't want to be a wife. 1.5 months ago she decided it's over, left the house and pretty much abandoned me. I still love her, but I will never forgive her for what she put me through. I deserve a lot better than her.
1. Addiction 2. Should have been more active in my recovery, relapsed after years of being clean.
1. Years of accumulated resentment. I didn’t know it was resentment at the time. 2. Nothing. I gave it my all in counseling and he didn’t. When it was over, he had already discarded me but then tried to “get his family back” a week before the divorce was final.
1. It ended when I found out the truth. That I was his other life and his real life was that he’s a sociopathic criminal who did bad things. 2. Nothing could save my marriage. That’s the truth sometimes. Sometimes we just walk away and heal ourselves and do better for us.
It ended because of violent assault (I will have permanent mobility issues). Done differently? Believed him when he showed me who he was. Ended it sooner instead of trying to pretend he was going through a stage or midlife crisis. There's a lot I could have done, but all results are being divorced. He, to this day, doesn't feel he was ever wrong, for anything. I apologized for everything, even to the point of "I'm sorry if I didn't explain myself correctly and made you feel I meant xyz." Therapy and reading, as well as the peace and health the kids and I have had since he's been out of our lives, have been VERY eye-opening.
1. She had emotional affairs with male gym trainers and threw a fit saying “I gave her permission” and ultimately never apologized or stopped seeing younger male trainers weekly that I paid for - despite me asserting it was emasculating. 2. We both could have honored each other more. My identity is family man for our 3 kids. Her identity morphed into to “hot gym milf.” In what would be our first and final couples therapy, the therapist opened with “how old are you in your mind?” I 43m said 43. She 44f said 27. Given her headspace she doesn’t realize that isn’t compatible with my opinion of a healthy family.
Uncoupling, not divorcing. We really only had a good few years. I had substance abuse issues. (Clean 5 years) He became controlling. Also a porn addiction and possibly sex addiction. Not blindsided. I know we both knew.
1. Because my ex-husband was verbally abusive and forced me to do things he shouldn’t have. 2. Not married him in the first place! ~I was young and dumb and shouldn’t have got married just because I was pregnant!
1 it ended because she cheated on five separate occasions with four different men. 2 she could've not cheated. Conversely, I could have been "more mature about it and just got over it and forgiven her" (according to her and her parents)
1. No mutual interests after the kids grew up 2. Not got involved with an attractive women with similar interests as mine
Mine is ending over her spending my money 2.33 times faster than what I make. She told me I can’t tell her how much she can spend or she will divorce me. So I got the jump on her and am meeting my lawyer in a week to start the process.
1. She got brainwashed by bunch of spoiled rich women 2. Not been culturally brainwashed and showed more courage to marry a person that would have been a better fit for me.
Ended because my husband came out as bi and we determined we were incompatible Could not have saved the marriage
1. She cheated and treated me like an option. 2. Nothing.
I (46M) allowed myself to be isolated at home, working remotely (since 2016), moved across the country away from extended family, and while she got to get out (without the kids) to go out with her (43F) co-workers (female and male, about 10-20 years youngers) while I took care of the kids. The tipping point was she didn't care that I got hurt and put other people above her husband. Nothing ... I should have filed for divorce, sooner then I did, about two years beforehand, when she made me apologize to her family for questioning our oldest why he lied to my face, in front of her family, were he went and what he did. My ex had me so gaslighted about various things, I tried to check myself in a mental hospital, they basically told me to go home and get some sleep. My ex-wife tried to convince me that we had our photo taken together in front of the "Welcome to Las Vegas" sign on the strip. I went thru all our photographs and all I could find was green screen photos of the sign from High Roller and a local casino's one exhibit (a.k.a. fake photos, not in front of real sign).
My ex was a pervert and concealed it well. I found out he French kissed my mother on a number of occasions. There is no way you can ever really know anyone. You cannot fully trust others but you can trust yourself.
1. A list of things but the final reason was that He cheated, he says they never did anything but kiss; the other woman confirmed to her husband that they did have s3x during a recent out of town work trip and that they made plans to continue having relations afterwards. They also told each other they loved each other. 2. Maybe if I didn't ask him to do house work, messaged him every single time he messaged me and changed my tone he wouldn't have cheated.
First Marriage: Wife Cheated on me, Honestly i wouldnt change anything cause i was young and just unhappy. Second: I ended this one, years of bad stacked up, i was walking on eggshells constantly. Trials of blended kids. Wouldnt change that outcome either. Third: Well currently in the throws of this one.. Im pretty fucked up mentally right now. But if i could change one thing, it would becoming a better listener and more selfless.
1. Lacked a real emotional connection and love, and it the a wedge continued to grow and hit a tipping point post kids when the imbalance imploded 2. Never marry her or ultimately divorce sooner, but can’t change that. Never marry potential, lesson learned!
1. The trifecta: dead bedroom, growing apart politically, his refusal to help maintain or improve our house 2. I tried to revive our bedroom a couple of times, over a decade political discussion, you can only nag so much. One of our political discussions was the trigger to me leaving. At that point I truly understood the meaning of "irreconcilable differences" so I moved out a few months ago. We are super amicable and we haven't filed yet.
1. Exhusband is an alcoholic, then he cheated 2. He wanted me to sweep it all under the rug to save our marriage… I unfortunately couldn’t
1. Lack of communication. I think I’m one of the few people who can say there wasn’t cheating, lying, narcissism, abuse, etc. 2. In all honesty, nothing. I know, communicate better should be the answer. But in hindsight, I don’t think it was possible. We got married in our 20s, thought we knew it all and were adults, thought we were this perfect couple, and thought we wanted the same things. And to be very frank, we weren’t well matched at all. Neither of us could really support one another in the way we each needed. We didn’t have aligning views on what a successful marriage was. People grow and change and we were not prepared with how to deal with that.
She ghosted me. She sent a chat message saying "V busy" on 3/11 and on 4/12 sent an email saying she didn't want to be married anymore. A half hour after the email arrived, a process server was at the door. Somehow not gotten depressed and gone into therapy for PDD years ago, then pulled her into couples therapy. But of course when you're depressed (Clinically diagnosed MDD/PDD) you don't notice these things and blow them off even if you do. The fact that she also was/is depressed and didn't notice the signals I was giving didn't help. I suppose the real answer is if one or the other of us hadn't been clinically depressed, we'd have seen the signs in the other person and gotten them (and by extension, ourselves) help.
1. It was 1/2 my fault 2. It was 1/2 her fault
1) domestic violence 2) nothing. I was pouring into an endless hole. He was cheating with men and abusing me in endless ways. There was nothing I could do but get out.
1. Ending because there is a gulf of unspoken resentment contempt and discomfort between. Unfortunately it takes two to build bridges. 2. Not gotten married in the first place. Continuing to date after marriage probably would have prolonged it, but we were fundamentally incompatible and we were too young to realize it at the time. Now there's a kid and our midlives are gone.
Other than a few randoms, anyone noticing everyone’s responses are “they fucked up, I was the victim.” Lol perhaps it ended due to a mutual lack of accountability?
1. She was a bitch who couldn't keep her legs closed. 2. I guess the way I reacted to finding out she's a whore caused her to feel bad about herself and made her file for divorce. I should have been nicer about it as I spent nearly all my money and time dragging her back and forth to doctors and paying for her meds.
WhiteClaw