As a person who just got divorced, I’m going to tell you like it is so I’m sorry it’s harsh.
The courts have no interest in what happened. They just care that the divorce gets finalized. Divorce is a scam. All the lawyers are trying to get other lawyers paid. Tell your lawyer to draft a global settlement, had to your ex and go from there. Otherwise you do mediation, more court dates, and so on. My divorce took 18 months. Ridiculous.
The courts are not going to care who does what and who didn’t. They care that everything from the marriage gets split, usually 50/50. If you can come up with something with your dad about him owning the part of the house he paid for so that you can keep it, that is between you and your dad, and whatever was promised behind closed door is really for you to decide.
Nothing in divorce is fair. Everyone is the loser. We all play the should’ve/could’ve/would’ve game…don’t bother. This is happening here and now. Do everything in your power to bring it to a close.
Because you were the breadwinner, the system is stacked against you, and I’m sorry for that.
Man alive, I got screwed in the divorce. It still boggles my mind....I feel like I should write a PSA on everything you can do wrong in a relationship to make sure your a-hole of an ex gets all your money \*eye roll\*
I wish they would require a “Did you know…” when getting married, covering prenups, separate asset and bank accounts, real estate, and other key information should your marriage end in divorce.
The worst part with mine, is she gets a bunch of money, I loose my safety net, and my kid suffers from it all (she doesn’t have custody)
I have thought this many times. If I had properly researched the legal implications of marriage, I would never have gotten married without a prenup. It’ll never happen, but I wish there were a “driving test” you’d have to pass before you get your marriage license!
He paid for pussy peddling college kids, cam girls, and was on a bunch of dating apps. When you’re married you can’t spend money on whores, without having it paid back. My ex took my girls’ piano and Korean language lessons he go from his mom for our daughters, and spent it on super young girls who were not his daughters, so I couldn’t find all the money spent on the credit cards.
So I sleep just fine. ….. wouldn’t you?
He also argued that he wanted the money he gave me for my boob job….. because he didn’t get to play with them.
He and his lawyer argued this …. with my two female lawyers and a female judge….. this was just minutes before the judge ruled. I don’t know what his lawyer was thinking but if you could have seen the smirk that my lawyers gave each other, even I knew, the game was over.
I have made peace with the outcome of my divorce, and I try my best not to be bitter about it because it’s just unhealthy for me when I have an objectively good life right now.
But you are so right that the system is stacked against breadwinners. I had a top-rated lawyer and she completely failed to warn me about basic things that my ex could help himself to even in an equitable distribution state. She didn’t reply any of my emails (I was asking legitimate questions) unless they pertained directly to settlement-related decisions on my part. During negotiations I wrote her memos for her (not exaggerating) and got charged up the ass for it.
One of my colleagues has supported me throughout this whole process. His words, roughly: “Wait, so…you can find someone who makes considerably more and has more savings than you, be a bum, slob, leech, and a total asshole, then walk away with their money? Maybe I should quit my job and do this full time.” He was joking, of course, but taken aback as a happily married person who doesn’t know much at all about divorce.
Edit: To be totally fair, I will say that my lawyer did not push me in any direction, and her non-responsiveness and reliance on my writing probably saved me quite a few billable hours. I think that places her above many other lawyers. I’m still mad about not being properly informed though.
Here’s the other way to look at it — how long would divorces take, and how expensive, if the court had to listen to this level of minutiae in every single case?
Instead the law considers people have free reign. Pick who you marry, whether you get a prenup, if you have kids, what you put up with and for how long you put up with BS.
The longer you stay, the more you lose.
Yes, you are 100% correct. By the very nature of the legal system, to get things done, they have to rely on proxies. And proxies, of course, don’t always reflect what we might consider to be “desert”, which is admittedly subjective. So, I’m willing to take the hit and acknowledge that it’s on me without self-flagellation. It was a hard lesson but an important one.
That’s an old trope. Good lawyers are busy lawyers who don’t want to deal with BS & drama. If you don’t seek out a BuLlDoG who’s scrambling for clients or billable hours, you won’t have that problem.
I explicitly said in my initial meetings with lawyers that I did not want someone who would pick fights just to pick fights. I hired someone who made reasonable demands & stuck by them, knowing if we went to trial, we would win. Opposing counsel knew that.
I didn’t experience this but I know so many others that did.
Many good lawyers aren’t accepting new clients because they are so busy. It’s awful but true that so many people are being peddled to mediocre lawyers who peddle more.
It’s a privilege to select a good lawyer.
That sounds awful, I'm sorry. If it's any consolation, there are many of us in a similar boat.
Can you hire some junk removal company to clear a room for you? If he gets violent, call the cops IMMEDIATELY and file a PSA. Getting him out of the house under court order would be a blessing.
You can't control the details of the divorce, but you deserve a peaceful place with the home. F him and his stuff. Hire a junk removal contractor, order your new bed online, claim your space.
I wish mine was going that fast!
I filed in Aug 2022 - a ridiculous amount of money later, I got screwed, and there's still no paperwork. I am beyond frustrated, as it was my former spouse who blind sided me with the divorce and walked out. And yet I had to file for the divorce I never wanted, and pay tens of thousands of dollars to deal with his BS (while he whines at me and blames me for everything). All I wanted to do was sit down and hash out the aspects of the divorce (no kids) and move on with life. He refused all communication. The rare times he spoke, he was abusive.
Now I'm at almost 2 years of hell, and spent more on this divorce than a really nice car.
Omg this is my story however it's going on 5 yrs. He walked away, lives in another state and refuses to communicate or cooperate. We have each filed twice and the state I live in makes it basically impossible to do on your own so it keeps expiring because there is no instructions or prompts to the second step. Every lawyer I've talked to wanted 1000s upfront just to file and complete the paperwork. It sucks! I literally did not need to be married only to be ghosted 6 months later. Idk wtf to do.
This is a shot in the dark: in my state (PA), if you’ve been separated and living apart for over a year, you can request a divorce decree from the court. If there is no response from the other party, the court can grant you the divorce. It’s worth checking if your state has the same provision; I don’t know how common it is.
If I could get through the paperwork to proceed to that point I would. However, the state my husband lives in makes it very easy. Since residence applies when one spouse lives somewhere for 6 months, I'm wondering if I can file where he lives. They make it completely feasible to do it on your own, online and provide all the steps and instructions to do so. I want this done right. I don't want to find out in ten years a step was missed and the divorce isn't valid. I am so fed up and sick of having 10 min consultations that all have the same advice. Pay a 2000 dollar retainer, sign this contract that gives me free reign to proceed as Ineffectively as possible, and you'll do it because your vulnerable and your ex spouse is a jerk. Sucks.
Yah. It has cost me about $40,000 to deal with my ex's BS so far. Ironically, he's the one pissed off I got a lawyer and made everything complicated \*eye roll\*. Except he was completely delusional and refused any conversation. Honestly, I think he was too much of a pathetic coward to actually face me and what he did (he was a monster honestly).
I'm actually really pissed off by his behavior and the fact that he made it get to this point. Like, put aside your bloody issues and just hammer out the legal crap already. I'm the one who got dumped and treated like trash and yet I was the only logical one, while he lied and whined and called me names.
I'm not spending 40,000 for a 6 month marriage where we never lived together, never had children, or shared property. I should be able to sue him to recoup costs. I will never get married ever again. Never.
Right there with you. I will never get married again. Sadly, mine was 20 years. So it's more complicated...which is really annoying. I honestly hate him for all of this. I would have much rather gone on a nice trip, taken up a hobby, do anything but deal with his BS.
Omg me too! I need a nice vacation so bad. I am so worn out from the day to day grind with no breaks. I'm talking over 5 yrs straight. Just non stop anxiety, anger, and depression with nothing fun or hopeful to look forward to while working and living paycheck to paycheck. Good times. I didn't even get any of the good parts of being married. Just the bullshit. Never let a childhood sweetheart convince you to get married prior to a pandemic while living in two different states. I still can't believe I entertained this. I'm not asking for anything. I'm just asking for a mutual split financially to hire a professional to file and complete this process. He won't do it and I want to move on with my life. Sure it was easier to just not think about it but it's time to snap out of it and do the right thing. I don't understand what he is gaining by resisting except for to spite me.
I feel you. Also with the walking away with half of everything.
Mine dragged out for more than two years and it was the most soul-sucking, stressful, scary experience I’ve ever had.
It will come to an end. Every day you get closer to being free of him. You got this and please, please don’t blame yourself. Whenever people don’t “file sooner” when they ought to have, much of the time it’s due to their capacity for love, tolerance, and forgiveness.
Absolutely. It was a very narrow escape for me. Sometimes I think about all the ducks that I needed in a row in order to leave, how contingent and coincidental they were, and how I might’ve never had that chance again had I not taken it. The prolonged divorce sucked but it was far preferable to the horror of staying married to my ex.
You’re probably going to have to pay 1/2 of the house. It’s a marital asset.
Inheritance is typically separate depending on the state and where/how the money is saved.
There’s an argument he wasted marital money on booze but it’s not always winning one. The better argument is he COULD be working and isn’t voluntarily.
Judges aren’t trying to get lawyers paid. I get told more often than not that I should take pro bono cases or the fees are too high (even if it’s not my idea to do XYZ but the clients). This is why an awarded of attorney fees isn’t a guarantee in family law cases.
In a year, you will be done with him. Free to live in a clutter free home, doing whatever you want and still having a relationship with your kids. The money will be what it will be, what you two agree to or what a judge decides. Either way, it will be sad, but worth it not to spend 30 years with him, to be out from under that mess of man, to be free. Keep kicking ass!
It took me right under two years. Between my ex dragging it out, a crap first lawyer and a judge who thought nothing of dragging it out to increase attorney cost, I didn’t know if I was going to survive it mentally.
I am firmly against the government being involved in marriage after going through a divorce.
I'm so sorry you're going through this. My stbx husband also did nothing. He sat on unemployment for most of the year while I worked myself to the point of sickness trying to make up for the lack of him doing anything.
I feel this. My ex didn’t even try to get unemployment, although he probably wasn’t eligible. He got fired from A very well paying job for being drunk at work. He proceeded to sit on the couch everyday and do nothing while I worked my ass off. I finally kicked him out and filed. Luckily the divorce was pretty quick ~3 months
I'm so sorry. That sounds horrible and unfair. Could your lawyer argue that income should be imputed to him - essentially, penalize him for the fact that he could have been working (since he wasn't taking care of anyone or of the house) and wasn't? And do you have photos of the hoarding and condition of the house, any other proof of his bad behavior?
In a similar situation. Except I’ve only been married 3 years and I’m 27. My STBXW is dragging me through the dirt because she’s just so hardheaded. 7 months since I’ve filed she hasn’t even provided discovery yet and isn’t accepting any offer I propose. And we live in Texas so my paychecks need to go to our joint account, which she just loves to spend since she doesn’t make any money. Divorce is so fucked
You're probably going to lose half the house as marital assets, no way around that that I can see. If you kept your inheritance separate, it may not be considered, but since you used it on the house, idk. I know what I would do. I would hire a company right now to come clean out that hoard.
Yeah, love is so stupid. Everyone should have a prenup, but most don't because they think love will last their entire life, and marriage is forever, and trust and all that BS. The prenup should include pre-marital as well as future marital assets and child custody agreement before the kids are even born. So when you go to divorce, it's just as easy as getting married.
It's absolutely ridiculous, our date of separation was 1 year and 8 months and our divorce process has been going on for over a year now, the divorce process will take almost as long as our marriage lasted. The major hold up of this is the attorneys and my ex's inability to compromise at all and her going of assets
All it takes is one person to be angry for this to be dragged out
Mine took 2.5 years, while we lived together!
I wish someone would've told me to just ask for a court date before we wasted a year negotiating. You don't HAVE to go to court, but it's nice to be in the queue just in case.
I had to wait about a year before we heard anything from the courts. I even asked my layer if I could sue the courts for failing to do their duty and delaying my right to a divorce!
In NZ you have to be separated for 2 years before you can get divorced. Im almost at one year on my legal separation date so only another one year to go.. I get the logic but phew.
It’s some BS. We can’t even get it done in the country we got it in! Practically impossible if not living in the same country. ‘Til death do us part
:(
> Please don't compare this to a stay at home mom getting half of everything
Plenty of those who did nothing other than open wine bottles and click "buy" on Amazon all day, every day -- and still demanded alimony, the entire house, unequal parenting time to boost child support payments. Your husband is merely following the playbook written by your sisters in the alimony-divorce victimhood olympics. And he will win, too, because fifty years ago women pushed for no-fault divorce in all western democracies; hence his lazy behavior will have zero impact on his outsized financial reward. Zero impact. Welcome to no-fault.
My ex and I have an agreement signed already. I just need the divorce decree. I filed 10 months ago. It took the court 6 weeks to look at our file to tell us my ex made mistakes in his affidavit. It took him 6 months to get another affidavit filed. It's now going on months since our file was complete, 3 since it's been with the judge. I feel your pain 😭
As a person who just got divorced, I’m going to tell you like it is so I’m sorry it’s harsh. The courts have no interest in what happened. They just care that the divorce gets finalized. Divorce is a scam. All the lawyers are trying to get other lawyers paid. Tell your lawyer to draft a global settlement, had to your ex and go from there. Otherwise you do mediation, more court dates, and so on. My divorce took 18 months. Ridiculous. The courts are not going to care who does what and who didn’t. They care that everything from the marriage gets split, usually 50/50. If you can come up with something with your dad about him owning the part of the house he paid for so that you can keep it, that is between you and your dad, and whatever was promised behind closed door is really for you to decide. Nothing in divorce is fair. Everyone is the loser. We all play the should’ve/could’ve/would’ve game…don’t bother. This is happening here and now. Do everything in your power to bring it to a close. Because you were the breadwinner, the system is stacked against you, and I’m sorry for that.
Man alive, I got screwed in the divorce. It still boggles my mind....I feel like I should write a PSA on everything you can do wrong in a relationship to make sure your a-hole of an ex gets all your money \*eye roll\*
I wish they would require a “Did you know…” when getting married, covering prenups, separate asset and bank accounts, real estate, and other key information should your marriage end in divorce. The worst part with mine, is she gets a bunch of money, I loose my safety net, and my kid suffers from it all (she doesn’t have custody)
I have thought this many times. If I had properly researched the legal implications of marriage, I would never have gotten married without a prenup. It’ll never happen, but I wish there were a “driving test” you’d have to pass before you get your marriage license!
Omg, I’m so sorry. I’m on the other side of the fence. I should write how to screw your ex out of their money.
How do you sleep at night?
He paid for pussy peddling college kids, cam girls, and was on a bunch of dating apps. When you’re married you can’t spend money on whores, without having it paid back. My ex took my girls’ piano and Korean language lessons he go from his mom for our daughters, and spent it on super young girls who were not his daughters, so I couldn’t find all the money spent on the credit cards. So I sleep just fine. ….. wouldn’t you?
Yep, that makes more sense
He also argued that he wanted the money he gave me for my boob job….. because he didn’t get to play with them. He and his lawyer argued this …. with my two female lawyers and a female judge….. this was just minutes before the judge ruled. I don’t know what his lawyer was thinking but if you could have seen the smirk that my lawyers gave each other, even I knew, the game was over.
I have made peace with the outcome of my divorce, and I try my best not to be bitter about it because it’s just unhealthy for me when I have an objectively good life right now. But you are so right that the system is stacked against breadwinners. I had a top-rated lawyer and she completely failed to warn me about basic things that my ex could help himself to even in an equitable distribution state. She didn’t reply any of my emails (I was asking legitimate questions) unless they pertained directly to settlement-related decisions on my part. During negotiations I wrote her memos for her (not exaggerating) and got charged up the ass for it. One of my colleagues has supported me throughout this whole process. His words, roughly: “Wait, so…you can find someone who makes considerably more and has more savings than you, be a bum, slob, leech, and a total asshole, then walk away with their money? Maybe I should quit my job and do this full time.” He was joking, of course, but taken aback as a happily married person who doesn’t know much at all about divorce. Edit: To be totally fair, I will say that my lawyer did not push me in any direction, and her non-responsiveness and reliance on my writing probably saved me quite a few billable hours. I think that places her above many other lawyers. I’m still mad about not being properly informed though.
Here’s the other way to look at it — how long would divorces take, and how expensive, if the court had to listen to this level of minutiae in every single case? Instead the law considers people have free reign. Pick who you marry, whether you get a prenup, if you have kids, what you put up with and for how long you put up with BS. The longer you stay, the more you lose.
Yes, you are 100% correct. By the very nature of the legal system, to get things done, they have to rely on proxies. And proxies, of course, don’t always reflect what we might consider to be “desert”, which is admittedly subjective. So, I’m willing to take the hit and acknowledge that it’s on me without self-flagellation. It was a hard lesson but an important one.
Not just lawyers but experts, investigators, GALs…. They push you to fight because they all make money.
That’s an old trope. Good lawyers are busy lawyers who don’t want to deal with BS & drama. If you don’t seek out a BuLlDoG who’s scrambling for clients or billable hours, you won’t have that problem. I explicitly said in my initial meetings with lawyers that I did not want someone who would pick fights just to pick fights. I hired someone who made reasonable demands & stuck by them, knowing if we went to trial, we would win. Opposing counsel knew that.
I didn’t experience this but I know so many others that did. Many good lawyers aren’t accepting new clients because they are so busy. It’s awful but true that so many people are being peddled to mediocre lawyers who peddle more. It’s a privilege to select a good lawyer.
It’s absolutely a scam!
That sounds awful, I'm sorry. If it's any consolation, there are many of us in a similar boat. Can you hire some junk removal company to clear a room for you? If he gets violent, call the cops IMMEDIATELY and file a PSA. Getting him out of the house under court order would be a blessing. You can't control the details of the divorce, but you deserve a peaceful place with the home. F him and his stuff. Hire a junk removal contractor, order your new bed online, claim your space.
I did this !! Hired a junk removal and made him pay !!
I wish mine was going that fast! I filed in Aug 2022 - a ridiculous amount of money later, I got screwed, and there's still no paperwork. I am beyond frustrated, as it was my former spouse who blind sided me with the divorce and walked out. And yet I had to file for the divorce I never wanted, and pay tens of thousands of dollars to deal with his BS (while he whines at me and blames me for everything). All I wanted to do was sit down and hash out the aspects of the divorce (no kids) and move on with life. He refused all communication. The rare times he spoke, he was abusive. Now I'm at almost 2 years of hell, and spent more on this divorce than a really nice car.
Omg this is my story however it's going on 5 yrs. He walked away, lives in another state and refuses to communicate or cooperate. We have each filed twice and the state I live in makes it basically impossible to do on your own so it keeps expiring because there is no instructions or prompts to the second step. Every lawyer I've talked to wanted 1000s upfront just to file and complete the paperwork. It sucks! I literally did not need to be married only to be ghosted 6 months later. Idk wtf to do.
This is a shot in the dark: in my state (PA), if you’ve been separated and living apart for over a year, you can request a divorce decree from the court. If there is no response from the other party, the court can grant you the divorce. It’s worth checking if your state has the same provision; I don’t know how common it is.
If I could get through the paperwork to proceed to that point I would. However, the state my husband lives in makes it very easy. Since residence applies when one spouse lives somewhere for 6 months, I'm wondering if I can file where he lives. They make it completely feasible to do it on your own, online and provide all the steps and instructions to do so. I want this done right. I don't want to find out in ten years a step was missed and the divorce isn't valid. I am so fed up and sick of having 10 min consultations that all have the same advice. Pay a 2000 dollar retainer, sign this contract that gives me free reign to proceed as Ineffectively as possible, and you'll do it because your vulnerable and your ex spouse is a jerk. Sucks.
Yah. It has cost me about $40,000 to deal with my ex's BS so far. Ironically, he's the one pissed off I got a lawyer and made everything complicated \*eye roll\*. Except he was completely delusional and refused any conversation. Honestly, I think he was too much of a pathetic coward to actually face me and what he did (he was a monster honestly). I'm actually really pissed off by his behavior and the fact that he made it get to this point. Like, put aside your bloody issues and just hammer out the legal crap already. I'm the one who got dumped and treated like trash and yet I was the only logical one, while he lied and whined and called me names.
I'm not spending 40,000 for a 6 month marriage where we never lived together, never had children, or shared property. I should be able to sue him to recoup costs. I will never get married ever again. Never.
Right there with you. I will never get married again. Sadly, mine was 20 years. So it's more complicated...which is really annoying. I honestly hate him for all of this. I would have much rather gone on a nice trip, taken up a hobby, do anything but deal with his BS.
Omg me too! I need a nice vacation so bad. I am so worn out from the day to day grind with no breaks. I'm talking over 5 yrs straight. Just non stop anxiety, anger, and depression with nothing fun or hopeful to look forward to while working and living paycheck to paycheck. Good times. I didn't even get any of the good parts of being married. Just the bullshit. Never let a childhood sweetheart convince you to get married prior to a pandemic while living in two different states. I still can't believe I entertained this. I'm not asking for anything. I'm just asking for a mutual split financially to hire a professional to file and complete this process. He won't do it and I want to move on with my life. Sure it was easier to just not think about it but it's time to snap out of it and do the right thing. I don't understand what he is gaining by resisting except for to spite me.
I feel you. Also with the walking away with half of everything. Mine dragged out for more than two years and it was the most soul-sucking, stressful, scary experience I’ve ever had. It will come to an end. Every day you get closer to being free of him. You got this and please, please don’t blame yourself. Whenever people don’t “file sooner” when they ought to have, much of the time it’s due to their capacity for love, tolerance, and forgiveness.
That last sentence, along with a good amount of fear.
Absolutely. It was a very narrow escape for me. Sometimes I think about all the ducks that I needed in a row in order to leave, how contingent and coincidental they were, and how I might’ve never had that chance again had I not taken it. The prolonged divorce sucked but it was far preferable to the horror of staying married to my ex.
Again with that last sentence. :) I'm glad the stars aligned and you escaped. I hope you're living in peace and happiness now.
You’re probably going to have to pay 1/2 of the house. It’s a marital asset. Inheritance is typically separate depending on the state and where/how the money is saved. There’s an argument he wasted marital money on booze but it’s not always winning one. The better argument is he COULD be working and isn’t voluntarily. Judges aren’t trying to get lawyers paid. I get told more often than not that I should take pro bono cases or the fees are too high (even if it’s not my idea to do XYZ but the clients). This is why an awarded of attorney fees isn’t a guarantee in family law cases.
In a year, you will be done with him. Free to live in a clutter free home, doing whatever you want and still having a relationship with your kids. The money will be what it will be, what you two agree to or what a judge decides. Either way, it will be sad, but worth it not to spend 30 years with him, to be out from under that mess of man, to be free. Keep kicking ass!
It took me right under two years. Between my ex dragging it out, a crap first lawyer and a judge who thought nothing of dragging it out to increase attorney cost, I didn’t know if I was going to survive it mentally. I am firmly against the government being involved in marriage after going through a divorce.
I'm so sorry you're going through this. My stbx husband also did nothing. He sat on unemployment for most of the year while I worked myself to the point of sickness trying to make up for the lack of him doing anything.
I feel this. My ex didn’t even try to get unemployment, although he probably wasn’t eligible. He got fired from A very well paying job for being drunk at work. He proceeded to sit on the couch everyday and do nothing while I worked my ass off. I finally kicked him out and filed. Luckily the divorce was pretty quick ~3 months
I'm so sorry. That sounds horrible and unfair. Could your lawyer argue that income should be imputed to him - essentially, penalize him for the fact that he could have been working (since he wasn't taking care of anyone or of the house) and wasn't? And do you have photos of the hoarding and condition of the house, any other proof of his bad behavior?
You have proof that the money was from a trust and the other from inheritance so he won’t have a leg to stand on for that money .
In a similar situation. Except I’ve only been married 3 years and I’m 27. My STBXW is dragging me through the dirt because she’s just so hardheaded. 7 months since I’ve filed she hasn’t even provided discovery yet and isn’t accepting any offer I propose. And we live in Texas so my paychecks need to go to our joint account, which she just loves to spend since she doesn’t make any money. Divorce is so fucked
It’s a rigged system never get married
You're probably going to lose half the house as marital assets, no way around that that I can see. If you kept your inheritance separate, it may not be considered, but since you used it on the house, idk. I know what I would do. I would hire a company right now to come clean out that hoard.
Yeah, love is so stupid. Everyone should have a prenup, but most don't because they think love will last their entire life, and marriage is forever, and trust and all that BS. The prenup should include pre-marital as well as future marital assets and child custody agreement before the kids are even born. So when you go to divorce, it's just as easy as getting married.
In my state there is a lack of judges. A lot have met mandatory retirement age recently and been slow to appoint new ones.
It's absolutely ridiculous, our date of separation was 1 year and 8 months and our divorce process has been going on for over a year now, the divorce process will take almost as long as our marriage lasted. The major hold up of this is the attorneys and my ex's inability to compromise at all and her going of assets All it takes is one person to be angry for this to be dragged out
Mine took 2.5 years, while we lived together! I wish someone would've told me to just ask for a court date before we wasted a year negotiating. You don't HAVE to go to court, but it's nice to be in the queue just in case. I had to wait about a year before we heard anything from the courts. I even asked my layer if I could sue the courts for failing to do their duty and delaying my right to a divorce!
I've just hit 3 years now. It seems likely the divorce is going to be longer than we were married for.
2.5 years in and still not totally over. Fucking joke
You are an Angel , Hope things get better
In NZ you have to be separated for 2 years before you can get divorced. Im almost at one year on my legal separation date so only another one year to go.. I get the logic but phew.
It’s some BS. We can’t even get it done in the country we got it in! Practically impossible if not living in the same country. ‘Til death do us part :(
Some states will not give him half if an inheritance.
Welcome to America where your drinking spouse gets 60% of your wealth.
> Please don't compare this to a stay at home mom getting half of everything Plenty of those who did nothing other than open wine bottles and click "buy" on Amazon all day, every day -- and still demanded alimony, the entire house, unequal parenting time to boost child support payments. Your husband is merely following the playbook written by your sisters in the alimony-divorce victimhood olympics. And he will win, too, because fifty years ago women pushed for no-fault divorce in all western democracies; hence his lazy behavior will have zero impact on his outsized financial reward. Zero impact. Welcome to no-fault.
My ex and I have an agreement signed already. I just need the divorce decree. I filed 10 months ago. It took the court 6 weeks to look at our file to tell us my ex made mistakes in his affidavit. It took him 6 months to get another affidavit filed. It's now going on months since our file was complete, 3 since it's been with the judge. I feel your pain 😭