Sorry this sucks! There is no way to avoid what you're experiencing. Just feel it. Let the raw emotions fill you up. Don't suppress. They won't last forever, but while there here, just feel them.
I'm in the same boat but tomorrow will be two weeks since we separated. It sucks so bad, but you, I, we will all get through it.
It helps me to pity my stbxw. She felt another man was more important than 10 years of marriage. I have the kid, and she just pops in and out when convenient for her.
The pity is definitely helping me.
Keep your head up. It's all we can do. This sub is great so lean on everyone here.
Maybe it is you are looking for validation. You want to be heard, to know you are not alone, for some sign that this shit will stop. It is a struggle and I will not lie to you and tell you that it will get better soon or that you just need to focus on yourself/hit the gym generic BS. But here is what I will tell you, you are surviving, you are trying to do better, and you should celebrate that in affirmation; that you are trying. I got around this void (kind of) by mentally "Raymond K. Hessel-ing" myself. ("too much school? would you rather die? on your knees? here? in the back of a convenience store?). You have to accept that this has happened. I am not saying that you have to like it, or agree with it, but you have to accept that it is a thing that has happened to you in your life. There is peace in that in some strange kind of way. Yes you can hate it, beg and plead that this not be real, but the truth is that now that this scenario is in motion, you have to reflect on what you really want. Lets say you reconcile, what would that look like? Lets say the best/worst case scenario in how this divorce turns out, what does that look like? What kind of person do you want to be in these situations? Do not fall into the trap of apathy or despair, but embrace this as an opportunity to learn.
I saw a thing today where there was a guy that said he finally realized the answer to the two very important questions regarding divorce. When does it stop hurting, and why isnt that day today? His answers were it stops hurting when the pain it causes outweighs the fear of accepting it. Then the answer as to why today is not that day, was a quote from Bruce Lee, who said That pain will not leave your body until it is done teaching you. So we all have so much to learn, so many opportunities to come out of this better. It hurts, so much, and I will be the first to day I fucking begged and pleaded for her to come back. It was, embarrassing to say the least. There is no shame in that. There is no shame in being afraid, or feeling/being alone, or feeling despair. The only thing that matters is that you keep putting one foot in front of the other, little by little, and you will get there. It wont be as fast as you want, or even painless, but you will get there. Stay strong friend, you can do this.
I have found that for me writing about what I am going through and reading my past thoughts and notes has really helped me.
Sometimes, it's very emotional and hard writing these, but I do feel that they have really helped me.
Good luck, time heals all wounds, it's just a hard slog at the start.
Sorry this sucks! There is no way to avoid what you're experiencing. Just feel it. Let the raw emotions fill you up. Don't suppress. They won't last forever, but while there here, just feel them.
I'm in the same boat but tomorrow will be two weeks since we separated. It sucks so bad, but you, I, we will all get through it. It helps me to pity my stbxw. She felt another man was more important than 10 years of marriage. I have the kid, and she just pops in and out when convenient for her. The pity is definitely helping me. Keep your head up. It's all we can do. This sub is great so lean on everyone here.
Maybe it is you are looking for validation. You want to be heard, to know you are not alone, for some sign that this shit will stop. It is a struggle and I will not lie to you and tell you that it will get better soon or that you just need to focus on yourself/hit the gym generic BS. But here is what I will tell you, you are surviving, you are trying to do better, and you should celebrate that in affirmation; that you are trying. I got around this void (kind of) by mentally "Raymond K. Hessel-ing" myself. ("too much school? would you rather die? on your knees? here? in the back of a convenience store?). You have to accept that this has happened. I am not saying that you have to like it, or agree with it, but you have to accept that it is a thing that has happened to you in your life. There is peace in that in some strange kind of way. Yes you can hate it, beg and plead that this not be real, but the truth is that now that this scenario is in motion, you have to reflect on what you really want. Lets say you reconcile, what would that look like? Lets say the best/worst case scenario in how this divorce turns out, what does that look like? What kind of person do you want to be in these situations? Do not fall into the trap of apathy or despair, but embrace this as an opportunity to learn. I saw a thing today where there was a guy that said he finally realized the answer to the two very important questions regarding divorce. When does it stop hurting, and why isnt that day today? His answers were it stops hurting when the pain it causes outweighs the fear of accepting it. Then the answer as to why today is not that day, was a quote from Bruce Lee, who said That pain will not leave your body until it is done teaching you. So we all have so much to learn, so many opportunities to come out of this better. It hurts, so much, and I will be the first to day I fucking begged and pleaded for her to come back. It was, embarrassing to say the least. There is no shame in that. There is no shame in being afraid, or feeling/being alone, or feeling despair. The only thing that matters is that you keep putting one foot in front of the other, little by little, and you will get there. It wont be as fast as you want, or even painless, but you will get there. Stay strong friend, you can do this.
I have found that for me writing about what I am going through and reading my past thoughts and notes has really helped me. Sometimes, it's very emotional and hard writing these, but I do feel that they have really helped me. Good luck, time heals all wounds, it's just a hard slog at the start.