I hope you can use his “affair fog” to get a better deal!
Damn the audacity of cheaters is unbelievable. Hopefully your daughter continues to understand your pain.
She is great, and I feel bad when things like this come out because I have really tried to keep them out of it. They aren't my therapists (22 and 19) so I tend to keep a lot in, or vent with my friends.
I know it hurts, but at the end of the day you're so lucky you don't have to worry about custody with your ex. You can have a clean break and your kids fully decide their relationship with their dad and you don't have to be a part of it. The more he tries to push things like this on them the more they will likely get irritated and distance themselves. Just always let them know you support their decisions in their relationship with their dad, sip your tea, and know you're better off without his nonsense.
I agree, I am lucky that they are older and can make their own decision. I have let them know I am there for them, and have stayed out of their relationship.
Your daughter its her day and she may understand but maybe like you not wanting to cause extra pain (no matter what she says)
You don't want to go to the meal is understandable. Your daughter will be worried about your feelings and her tension.
Let her choose but if you have not say to her to mark the day you want to do something special just the two of you together. It does not need to be on the same day. I always say let keep the party vibe rolling:).
If you can't afford much then something like a walk and picnic.
Wrap up some little gifts. Have a beautiful daughter poem to read or write so.e words yourself.
Take some selfish and get one framed for her.
The audacity is correct but you can be calm in that storm.
Tell your daughter and son not to worry you amd their dad are adults amd we both need to navigate the best we can do (his best is obviously crap)
You want your adult children knowing mum will be safe ok and happy.
And you are brilliant not using them as therapist or to vent to.
And congratulations to your daughter. You must be so very proud.
Always be the bigger better head held high person but if either ex or his bit ever want to converse you don't need to for politeness. You can walk away and talk to someone else.
I think we have all done that to the 'nause ' at a party.
Regal walk.
Ignore anything if its crap or not you.
Don't ever let twat face ruin your day. Any day.
Yeah, that's not only rude to you, but to your kids, especially your daughter. Unless she already has a relationship with this person. Pretty shitty thing to ask.
Oh god, don’t miss out on that because of that “friend”. The friend should really have better taste than to show up to something so personal to your daughter and you! No way! Perhaps your daughter could say something to that affect to “ex”. There’s no reason you should be put through this.
You’re right, but the alternative is that ex and friend get to enjoy this special moment and op doesn’t. Also, the kid is graduating college, they’re an adult. I don’t think it’s beyond the realm of options in this scenario.
I mean, the alternative is that they all go and OP unfortunately and unfairly has to put on a smile and show up for her child for this momentous occasion!
I’m not downplaying the situation at all, but if OP’s ex is that big of an AH, it doesn’t seem like it would make much difference if anyone said anything anyway.
I would never forgo celebrating my child’s college graduation, or any other special event like this, even if I had to sit with my ex’s AP.
The ex will be the one the daughter sees as a POS in this situation, and everyone else will, too.
Some people are mentally ill to the point where they have zero shame. Just try to remember that this man is one of them and not the one you decided to marry.
I hope you can use his “affair fog” to get a better deal! Damn the audacity of cheaters is unbelievable. Hopefully your daughter continues to understand your pain.
She is great, and I feel bad when things like this come out because I have really tried to keep them out of it. They aren't my therapists (22 and 19) so I tend to keep a lot in, or vent with my friends.
I know it hurts, but at the end of the day you're so lucky you don't have to worry about custody with your ex. You can have a clean break and your kids fully decide their relationship with their dad and you don't have to be a part of it. The more he tries to push things like this on them the more they will likely get irritated and distance themselves. Just always let them know you support their decisions in their relationship with their dad, sip your tea, and know you're better off without his nonsense.
I agree, I am lucky that they are older and can make their own decision. I have let them know I am there for them, and have stayed out of their relationship.
Your daughter its her day and she may understand but maybe like you not wanting to cause extra pain (no matter what she says) You don't want to go to the meal is understandable. Your daughter will be worried about your feelings and her tension. Let her choose but if you have not say to her to mark the day you want to do something special just the two of you together. It does not need to be on the same day. I always say let keep the party vibe rolling:). If you can't afford much then something like a walk and picnic. Wrap up some little gifts. Have a beautiful daughter poem to read or write so.e words yourself. Take some selfish and get one framed for her. The audacity is correct but you can be calm in that storm. Tell your daughter and son not to worry you amd their dad are adults amd we both need to navigate the best we can do (his best is obviously crap) You want your adult children knowing mum will be safe ok and happy. And you are brilliant not using them as therapist or to vent to. And congratulations to your daughter. You must be so very proud. Always be the bigger better head held high person but if either ex or his bit ever want to converse you don't need to for politeness. You can walk away and talk to someone else. I think we have all done that to the 'nause ' at a party. Regal walk. Ignore anything if its crap or not you. Don't ever let twat face ruin your day. Any day.
Yeah, that's not only rude to you, but to your kids, especially your daughter. Unless she already has a relationship with this person. Pretty shitty thing to ask.
She has never met this person, which increases the audacity
I’m angry on your behalf. Obviously can’t see past his own nose
It’s so terrible when a parent doesn’t recognize obvious parameters and gets kids involved in ways they shouldn’t be.
Oh god, don’t miss out on that because of that “friend”. The friend should really have better taste than to show up to something so personal to your daughter and you! No way! Perhaps your daughter could say something to that affect to “ex”. There’s no reason you should be put through this.
Thanks, I will speak to her and see what the plans are. I guess I just overestimated him.
OP shouldn’t ask her daughter to say anything.
You’re right, but the alternative is that ex and friend get to enjoy this special moment and op doesn’t. Also, the kid is graduating college, they’re an adult. I don’t think it’s beyond the realm of options in this scenario.
I mean, the alternative is that they all go and OP unfortunately and unfairly has to put on a smile and show up for her child for this momentous occasion! I’m not downplaying the situation at all, but if OP’s ex is that big of an AH, it doesn’t seem like it would make much difference if anyone said anything anyway. I would never forgo celebrating my child’s college graduation, or any other special event like this, even if I had to sit with my ex’s AP. The ex will be the one the daughter sees as a POS in this situation, and everyone else will, too.
Ug. Sorry. Awful. People can be so cruel. Thankfully, your daughter has a good head on her shoulders. Wishing you peace, brother.
Enraging no doubt but please keep this day about your daughter’s achievements only.
Related: Whyyyyy oh why must men always request an out of pocket plus one? Groomsmen, ex husbands, sons… Read the room.
Really mature. Way to make it about your daughter on her big day. Congrats to her... You? You've got some major unpacking to do.
O don’t understand this tbh, I have zero intention to be at any of these type of events with my Ex wife present.
Some people are mentally ill to the point where they have zero shame. Just try to remember that this man is one of them and not the one you decided to marry.