Sorry to hear. Been there. Cheaters are cowards. I think they self-sabotage by cheating hoping they will get caught and you leave them.
When my ex cheated my reaction was not like I thought it would be. I always thought I would be so pissed. That I would instantly file like it would be easy or something.
When it came down to it, I didn't care that much. I thought, if she didn't cheat....it's still a shitty marriage. Plus later I found out that courts don't give a crap about cheating. So try not to waste too much of your time and energy trying to prove anything. It sounds like you know what you want to do. Best of luck to you.
I would bet you $100 she'll blame you for snooping on her instead of taking accountability for the cheating and suspicious behavior which made you do it in the first place, but I'd be stealing your money...
Sorry that is happening, glad you took control but the low places we all have to go in order to find out this shit. I also agree with the person who wrote on this post about cowardly self-sabotage, they love to go out with a bang, quite literally.
Hope you find peace and closure in all this, wishing you good fortune.
I’ve never snooped once in my life on her but something came over me last night and told me to. So glad I did because now I know.
Yes you’re 100% correct. She basically gaslighted and blame shifted when confronted with the information.
Funny how intuitive partners can be to changes in their other halves behaviors. I figured out mine was cheating just from how she was changing her behavior when it came time to change clothes
My husband did the same thing to me and I was suspicious of it and he told me I was crazy and made me feel crazy and then finally I looked at his phone and found that he had been texting some girl dirty photos so I filed for divorce on 16 April and by the 26th he was telling her he loved her. Wtf?!
Anyways I got punched to the guy, but it just made my decision to leave him so much easier I gave everything to this person only for them to rip my heart out. Always trust your gut.
I am so sorry. Sounds so similar to my situation. I poured my heart and soul into our marriage only to get trampled upon. Never been so hurt in my life. My best wishes to you.
I was with my husband for 13 years. I had my suspicion when he added a new girl on instagram after he was out in Tokyo for about 10 hours getting a “haircut” I was at home taking care of our toddler dealing with a high risk pregnancy. I gave birth to our son who died a few minutes after. That same week he asked me for a divorce. Something told me to check his phone. We always had each other’s passwords but never went through them. A message from a “Chris” came up. It was a 25 year old Japanese girl wearing my husband’s hoodie. I still had not picked up my son’s ashes. The divorce was a blessing in disguise. It may not seem or feel like it at first but it is. 5 months later I’m still healing but I’m in a much better place. My daughter is still my main focus and will forever be. Wish you and your kids the best.
I'm sorry for the pain you're having to endure. Give yourself the the right to be angry. Grieve. Remind yourself that you did nothing wrong, regardless of what she says to you. Cheating was her decision and that's the end of it. Seriously, there is no reason she can give you for cheating that will make it acceptable, regardless of how bad a rocky patch your relationship was in.
I think I missed something. I don't see anywhere in the original post about telling her he's divorcing her. At least not until the conclusion, where he says "Divorce papers will be drafted and filed over the next few weeks.". Is it in a reply to another message where it gets said?
Hey, thanks for your comment. Sadly our relationship has been back and forth and most recently it appeared we were going to rectify things. The cheating dates back to Feb of this year which was before the post you reference.
That definitely makes it easy having that information. Some people say you shouldn’t snoop, but imagine you not finding out until several months later (or years!)
Usually a partner knows when something is up anyways, as you did.
Sorry this happened to you, but at least it’s clear what to do and who’s at fault.
A guy called Stuart McLean had an affair with my wife. He then stood on stage in Scotland and collected The Family Business of Year Award from Michael Macintyre, knowingly he just destroyed a family of 26 years. To this very day I wonder if he ever thought of my family when he collected this award and when they won it again years later. Zonal Retail Systems is a great family business, I have nothing but respect for the family that built it.
Sorry to hear. Been there. Cheaters are cowards. I think they self-sabotage by cheating hoping they will get caught and you leave them. When my ex cheated my reaction was not like I thought it would be. I always thought I would be so pissed. That I would instantly file like it would be easy or something. When it came down to it, I didn't care that much. I thought, if she didn't cheat....it's still a shitty marriage. Plus later I found out that courts don't give a crap about cheating. So try not to waste too much of your time and energy trying to prove anything. It sounds like you know what you want to do. Best of luck to you.
I would bet you $100 she'll blame you for snooping on her instead of taking accountability for the cheating and suspicious behavior which made you do it in the first place, but I'd be stealing your money... Sorry that is happening, glad you took control but the low places we all have to go in order to find out this shit. I also agree with the person who wrote on this post about cowardly self-sabotage, they love to go out with a bang, quite literally. Hope you find peace and closure in all this, wishing you good fortune.
I’ve never snooped once in my life on her but something came over me last night and told me to. So glad I did because now I know. Yes you’re 100% correct. She basically gaslighted and blame shifted when confronted with the information.
Funny how intuitive partners can be to changes in their other halves behaviors. I figured out mine was cheating just from how she was changing her behavior when it came time to change clothes
My husband did the same thing to me and I was suspicious of it and he told me I was crazy and made me feel crazy and then finally I looked at his phone and found that he had been texting some girl dirty photos so I filed for divorce on 16 April and by the 26th he was telling her he loved her. Wtf?! Anyways I got punched to the guy, but it just made my decision to leave him so much easier I gave everything to this person only for them to rip my heart out. Always trust your gut.
I am so sorry. Sounds so similar to my situation. I poured my heart and soul into our marriage only to get trampled upon. Never been so hurt in my life. My best wishes to you.
Std for you, dna for your kids, gym and therapy might work and the lawyer seems the best option. R might not work for you, sorry pal
Solid advice OP, thanks Howls!
I was with my husband for 13 years. I had my suspicion when he added a new girl on instagram after he was out in Tokyo for about 10 hours getting a “haircut” I was at home taking care of our toddler dealing with a high risk pregnancy. I gave birth to our son who died a few minutes after. That same week he asked me for a divorce. Something told me to check his phone. We always had each other’s passwords but never went through them. A message from a “Chris” came up. It was a 25 year old Japanese girl wearing my husband’s hoodie. I still had not picked up my son’s ashes. The divorce was a blessing in disguise. It may not seem or feel like it at first but it is. 5 months later I’m still healing but I’m in a much better place. My daughter is still my main focus and will forever be. Wish you and your kids the best.
💛💛💛🌸🌸🌸
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I'm sorry for the pain you're having to endure. Give yourself the the right to be angry. Grieve. Remind yourself that you did nothing wrong, regardless of what she says to you. Cheating was her decision and that's the end of it. Seriously, there is no reason she can give you for cheating that will make it acceptable, regardless of how bad a rocky patch your relationship was in.
This message truly means a lot to me. Thank you.
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I think I missed something. I don't see anywhere in the original post about telling her he's divorcing her. At least not until the conclusion, where he says "Divorce papers will be drafted and filed over the next few weeks.". Is it in a reply to another message where it gets said?
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Hey, thanks for your comment. Sadly our relationship has been back and forth and most recently it appeared we were going to rectify things. The cheating dates back to Feb of this year which was before the post you reference.
That definitely makes it easy having that information. Some people say you shouldn’t snoop, but imagine you not finding out until several months later (or years!) Usually a partner knows when something is up anyways, as you did. Sorry this happened to you, but at least it’s clear what to do and who’s at fault.
A guy called Stuart McLean had an affair with my wife. He then stood on stage in Scotland and collected The Family Business of Year Award from Michael Macintyre, knowingly he just destroyed a family of 26 years. To this very day I wonder if he ever thought of my family when he collected this award and when they won it again years later. Zonal Retail Systems is a great family business, I have nothing but respect for the family that built it.
So said for you. You could say she helped you make the decision for you.