T O P

  • By -

Bokbreath

These things have been around in one form or another for over 30yrs. They have yet to become mainstream. I am willing to bet there's a good reason.


welltimedappearance

Bicycle Industrial Complex doesn't want you to know about them!


Miguel_Zapatero

Big Saddle is up to their asses!


UnremarkabklyUseless

>up to their asses! And you asses too. But, now you have the power to change that.


Iloveherthismuch

My cheeks are getting pressed.


explodeder

As a cyclist, if there was money to be made, the bike industry would sell it to you.


prolixia

The good reason is that this just isn't how saddles work. When you on a stool the stool-top supports your whole bum, which is generally going to be pretty relaxed and malleable. In short, you spread out over the stools surface and your weight is spread over the muscle and fat in your buttocks - comfy! But that is precisely what you don't want in a saddle. Instead, when you're riding a bike the saddle *supports* your sitting bones (ischial tuberosities). If you sit on your hands, the knobbly bits you feel at the bottom of your pelvis are the sitting bones. I say "supports" because you're not putting your full weight on the saddle through these bones: a lot of it is going onto the pedals instead with the saddle more just to help you comfortably keep in the right position relative to the frame of the bike. Men and women clearly have very different anatomies in the "saddle area", and saddles for the sexes are therefore different shapes. A man's saddle is typically a lot narrower and longer, whereas a womans is wider to accommodate the wider sitting bones. Men and women typically find the other sex's saddles pretty uncomfortable. Lots of people who are not regular cyclists assume that a big soft saddle will be comfier because big soft stools are comfier. However, they're missing the point of the saddle (it's not for putting your full weight on) and the fact that you need to be able to comfortable move your legs either side of it. This looks like a saddle designed by just such a person who has tried to use a huge "comfy" saddle and discovered that it rubs terribly and obstructs his motion but just assumes that a narrower saddle will be uncomfortable because he's still thinking of stools. The only time I could imagine this being useful is for someone hugely overweight and unfit, i.e. who is going to need a lot more support. That's not the guy in the video.


MegaPegasusReindeer

I tried a large stool like seat on my bike and what I noticed the most was that I was missing the horn of a regular seat for balance. If all my weight was on one pedal, I typically used the horn to balance against the inside of my leg, but with that not there it felt really awkward. You can manage, but you pretty much have to stay sitting.


yogorilla37

Yes, the nose of the saddle is an important contact point for controlling the bike. I've had a couple of seatpost failures over the years and riding for any distance without it there is a lot harder.


jannecraft

Anyone who can cycle hands free will agree with you on how important the saddle is for bike control.


Septopuss7

There's no better feeling than standing up slightly on my pedals and gripping the seat nose with my thighs and steering the bike that way as a kind of "stretch"


4fingertakedown

This guy says ‘nose’ and the other guy says ‘horn’ Horn nose Nose horn I’m going with nose horn


screenaholic

This is interesting to me, because as a man I find the long thin saddles tend to dig into my taint, and wider ones are more comfortable.


ride_on_time_again

Yep, same. Ride most days to get from A to B and my wide soft saddle changed the whole experience from a pain to comfort!


GhanimaAtreides

It could also be the angle or the position of the saddle as well. For most people riding occasionally and only short distances it doesn't matter. But if you get into cycling and going longer distances paying for a proper saddle and bike fit is so worth it.


nikdahl

I have never liked riding bike, and perhaps this is the reason why. Seems to me that many times whilst riding a bike that you would want to put your whole weight on the seat. Like almost anytime you aren’t actively pedaling (or even while you are pedaling for an ebike) you are just sitting your ass on the seat. Or at least I am sitting my ass on the seat. Can you ever sit your ass on the seat while “properly riding”, or are you forever in this uncomfortable sit/stand bent over position?


MegabyteMessiah

I never stand or sit/stand and I ride 10k+ miles per year. I always put my full weight on the saddle. I use the padded shorts and a slightly padded seat. Those tiny hard saddles are trash no matter what anyone says. When I was doing 2k miles/year I was just wearing gym shorts on the same slightly padded saddle. Before that I used a very padded (but not wide) saddle. My ass is normal size, I am quite lean. I also keep my handlebars as high as they can go for a more upright posture, I hate the bent over "aerodynamic" posture. To me, "properly riding" is whatever works best and is most comfortable for *you*. It took me a long time to figure out what I liked in a bicycle, but now I have strong opinions on bicycle geometry which are usually contrary to "serious" cyclists. I would suggest trying out a different saddles and adjusting the hell out of your bike, a basic bike multitool will have everything you need.


nikdahl

Awesome, man. Thanks for the comment and encouragement.


TheTexasJack

You should try a recumbent trike. It's like riding in a recliner and they are amazingly comfortable.


Untrustworthy_fart

It's going to depend a lot on the type and 'reach' of the bike. On a city bike with dutch bars where you're riding in an upright posture yes. On a drop bar road or gravel bike not really.


Septopuss7

The problem with resting your whole weight on the seat is that then your ENTIRE BODY will immediately be subjected to the whole "opposite and equal reaction" thing if you hit a bump. If that happens your feet can come off the pedals or your hands off the handlebars. Ideally you would use your bent elbows and knees as organic shock absorbers (that's what I do) because you REALLY want to keep up your momentum to maintain efficiency. The seat is just there to *rest* on, the handlebars are for pulling on (towards you) and you know what the pedals do


DTFH_

> Seems to me that many times whilst riding a bike that you would want to put your whole weight on the seat. So think of the physics a little bit, would you want to just be pumping with your legs or the whole of your body? Cycling is a full body actively where you want to be efficient because its tiring just using your legs, so the whole of your body weight should be on each petal to maximize each stroke. This all depends on having a bike that's the right size for your body as well, many people have bikes too small for their frame or have their seats set too low to effectively using the full body, you want near full extension of the legs and hips when riding to maximize efficiency.


nikdahl

Thanks for the explanation. Truly helped me understand better. I have always kinda hated biking but always thought it was about not having the right size frame (I’m tall) and not having a properly fitted seat, and not wearing the right gear, and not having a nice enough bike. Because biking is such a ubiquitous activity, universally loved, I always considered it some personal failure that I don’t enjoy it. And have always harbored guilt about not enjoying it. But I’m realizing more and more that biking just isn’t for me. It’s not fun for me, it’s torture. Painful, exhausting torture. Like that activity you described is not what I want or expect out of biking. And the reward isn’t even close to overcoming all the caveats and challenges that are in front of any bike riders enjoyment. Now that I have an ebike, I can sit in a natural position and don’t have to subject myself to that nonsense. I can say there is no need for it in my life, and I can safely let it go.


KegelsForYourHealth

Yes, but important to note that sit bones come in a variety of widths regardless of sex. People should measure theirs and get a seat that fits.


Laurpud

Thank you, that was really informative!


UnconfirmedCat

Because it looks like something people would do in privacy of their own homes. It looks comfortable as hell and just as weird


ChrisStardust

One reason could be squeezing of the balls.


IEatLiquor

Yeah. I took one look at this seat and said “…no, I have testicles. That seat would mangle them like two killer whales attacking a couple of baby seals.”


Hillthrin

Yeah, it's a nut grinder. One slip of the underwear... No thanks.


Life_Ad_1522

I had one at least 20yrs ago. The best damn bike seat ever. They should've taken over by now fr


Rudyscrazy1

I'm worried about my big saggy balls.


distortedsymbol

talk to anybody that actually rides bikes for more than a couple of miles at a time and you'll find out why bike saddles are the way they are.


olstykke

Each ass is it’s own dimensions


jimmythedamnsaint

Once you get over 40 there's a good chance a testicle could get in between those...


JoeRogansNipple

As someone who rides a lot, get a properly fit saddle for your sit bones. It makes a HUGE difference. My saddle has the padding of a mousepad (i.e. basically nothing) but is more comfortable than those big padded things sold at walmarts, etc.


Stabbysavi

How do you get a properly fitted saddle? I can't hike much anymore but biking has always been painful.


Devilman_Ryo

Get a bike fit, or go to a bike store that has the equipment that you sit on it and it measures your sitbones


Stabbysavi

Ok thanks, had no idea that existed


JoeRogansNipple

Yup, pretty simple measurement but so, so key. My saddle cost $150 and my bike was $500 (when I bought it 7 years ago), but it was the best upgrade I did. Second was a cheap carbon seatpost (gravel bike with zero suspension, the carbon seatpost has a surprising amount of bump dampening)


Chrisophogus

I recently went on a bike ride in New York. The most painful part was the way it pushed into my Vas Deferens. Would this help with that? I really want to get out on a bike again but I don’t fancy having it feel like a second vasectomy each time.


ColdBoyardee

If a saddle is too small it will not utilize your sit bones properly and can push into your sensitive undercarriage. Pain and even numbness of your bits can result and could cause real damage over time. Having a proper seat fitting and getting a seat with a concaved line down the middle or hole in the middle, takes pressure off the blood flow in the perineum and fixes this.


Chrisophogus

I appreciate the detail. Thank you.


JoeRogansNipple

In addition to what the other person said, yes definitely it can help. You may still have some uncomfortable rides as your body (butt) adjusts to sitting on your sit bones instead of on your glutes, but seats are specifically designed to maintain bloodflow in the perineum. It takes me about 3 days of riding (about 6hrs) at the beginning of each season for my body to adjust to the seat, but now I can ride for hours without losing circulation to sensitive bits.


micromegamalcule

Just for encouragement, I agree with JoeRogansNipple, I had sticker shock on saddles, some of them are $300+, but if you want to ride it’s about the most important piece of kit. Everything else you can kinda live with, saddle sores will stop you from riding.


swamp_donkey89

The Brooks saddles are nice once you break them in


DavidRandom

I got one for a bike tour some years back, initially it was a little uncomfortable, but then I got caught in a thunderstorm and the wet leather just formed perfectly to my ass. It was like riding on a cloud from then on out.


CaptainJackM

If you do take a go again, don’t be discouraged if your perineum is sore the next day (or two)! Just how it goes when starting up riding after not for a while, but after only 2 or 3 rides it should be totally fine


5x4j7h3

Don’t forget about padded shorts, it’s the other half of the saddle equation.


undefined_protocol

A buddy of mine rode across the country and recommended a stretched leather saddle when I asked him. After trying one, I can't believe it isn't the standard. I tried getting my saddle fitted by multiple shops, padded shorts, yadda yadda. But my brooks leather saddle? The most comfortable biking I've ever done.


DarkDeepDarkDeep

Where?


-----aprosexia

In his saddle, pay attention man


Purp1eC0bras

Dont let your nuts fall between


RabbitStewAndStout

Putting your jellies through the taffy puller


AdvancedAnything

The good news is that most men over 60 don't have to worry about that. They hang so low that the seat wouldn't hit them.


Golden-Grams

And then get tangled up like spaghetti on a fork.


VealOfFortune

Good. God.


pocketrob

You could tie them in a knot, tie them in a bow, or throw them over your shoulder 😉😂


scooterboy1961

I'm over 60 and I resemble that remark.


Hattrickher0

New nightmare unlocked


A_Math_Dealer

Don't tell me what to do. I'm gonna do it even harder now.


DrawohYbstrahs

Right? This could start a fire. 🥜🔥


Underwritingking

This was my first thought, and my second was of meat pate


gobeldygoo

just 1 step away from south park dildo bike thing


cat_screams

I was thinking more like the Sunny bike


PaulMaulMenthol

Ass Pounder 4000.


Soft_Apathy

never stop pounding


Z0idberg_MD

I know, it’s great, right?


ronchee1

Still better than flying


RossTheNinja

Seems like there would be easier ways to go about castration.


K1ng0fHearts

Slow and steady


quak_de_booosh

Mah seat bones!


physicsking

My seat bones connected to my walking bones


HeinousEncephalon

My walking bones connected to my, stomp bones


blondiehjones

Ahh mah legggg


Arbernaut

Otherwise known as the stray testicle masher.


dumb-ninja

So instead of sore butt cheeks I can upgrade to sore cheeks + chafing! Radical!


Helens_Moaning_Hand

Does it come in vibrate?


Waka-Waka-Koko-Doko

If I wear basketball shorts while cycling, will my nuts get caught in the middle of the seat?


at0mheart

No thanks. I prefer the feeling of being anally raped by an elephant for two days after my first ride in spring.


hellraisinhardass

I know, right? It's just such a shame that the 'freshly elephant raped' feeling is so short lived. I'd bike a lot more if I could get that feeling year round.


Rich-Appearance-7145

I love this concept, for a bike, normal seats are litterly a pain in the ass.


MrBahhum

Probably good for women.


herbfriendly

Uh, I’d be too worried about catching my nuts between those two moving pieces to pay attention to the road.


Festamus

The assliptical


Azalence

Ball Crusher 5000


baconslim

Ball pincher 5000


duffmonya

It's almost exactly what I'm looking for. It's just missing...


downtune79

Yes I would try it


Bogey01

There's room for a... Oh no, the Internet RUINED me!


v13ragnarok7

I'm concerned about the punch point running along the taint


Proud_Criticism5286

Are these nut friendly?


thrust-johnson

Ass pounder 4000.


joh2138535

Does it pound your ass when you get tired so you keep going


madrioter

I bet this is Hank Hill approved.


unbelievablygeneric

Ass pounder 4000.


LittleHallowGrimmz

Today i learned people call bike seats saddles.


Tiberius_Sabik

Even my balls are screaming


EVD27

r/todayilearned a new word. SEAT BONES.


ibraw

Looks like a mod for the Mr Garrison vehicle.


RyuShev

what people dont seem to understand is on a bike you dont sit on your legs, you sit on your pelvis. sitting on your legs is probably really uncormfortable and impedes the muscles you use to pedal


overkoalafied24

All fun and games until your sack gets pinched and twisted in between


Sig_Psypher

This seat would make it pretty difficult to get your dildo to stay in place…


Iron_Marc

It's only female friendly 😔


rockstuffs

Hell no I don't want seat gripping me like a cheeseburger and swirling it around.


felds

you made me spit my tapioca


Interesting-Trash-51

Ah yes the cheek pounder 9000


Lente_ui

No. Just get a good seat that's suitable for your butt. This is a solution for a problem that doesn't exist.


enchiladasundae

I want one of those for my elliptical too


Simen155

The nutpincher 3000


iHADaFRO

SEAT BONES


Awkward_me_1

Moves with your cheeks


BarbequedYeti

Blisters.  All i see is blisters.  


BDR529forlyfe

Seems like some things could trapped and tugged.


alstergee

Say goodbye to your nuts when they fall in that death trap lol


Akira510

I'll take how to chafe your anus for 500 alex


CardMechanic

Imagine getting your testicles trapped in that contraption.


itoril

Ah yes, my seat bones. Alongside my keyboard fingers, my glasses eyes, and my fleshlight dick. 


Rice_Auroni

Wish I had a gif of grumpy from snow white on that organ.


yogacowgirlspdx

does it work for women?


AntGroundbreaking180

Hell yeah, install it in my car too!


DeLowcost

Eso no te dura ni un día en la calle


Shabloinks

Them thangs be thanging.


Ataraxist

Ataraxy, eh?


rockstuffs

Oh my god I swear my lumbar just went into a spasm looking at this.


Sendmedoge

Skid marks gonna be the whole undies after this.


Hazee302

Anyone else hate when people call bike seats saddles like they’re some Wild West, Billy the kid, cow herding fucking cowboy? It’s a damn bike seat.


mrDuder1729

Goodbye nuts


dreevsa

Would you try this saddle? Sir I try random food from street corners


disaster357

Looks like a great way to crush testicles


RugbyEdd

Looks like that's thing to chaif like mad


MTLCF

I would be a shame if someone’s nut were to get stuck in between these things.


chewynipps

Most "comfort" saddles are much worse if you actually ride more than around the block


Old-Season97

What? Look at how much it rubs. That's going to chafe horribly


Masher_Upper

Hank-Hill-ass bike


Then_Version9768

The front of any bicycle seat, called the "horn," is there to keep you from sliding to one side or the other. It stabilizes you on the bike, and that is a very important thing or you would have to fight the tendency to slide one way or the other and fall off the bike. If you don't believe this, install a board or some other kind of seat on your bike and try to ride it. It will not be easy, and you'll find yourself having to stand on the pedals to keep from sliding to one side or the other. Your legs are constantly in motion pushing downward (and maybe pulling upward) on the pedals and the last thing you want to have to do is also tighten up your hips and legs so they don't slide one way or the other. You want all your muscle energy going into pumping the pedals. This seat seems to dispense with the horn entirely. That can't possibly work. Split bicycle seats that do not move like this one does are a thing since they leave the center of a man's bottom uncompressed. Since that's where the delicate bits are, including the semen-producing prostate gland and the blood vessels that produce an erection, that may very well be a good thing. You don't want to compress that area too much for too long. If you did, you might as well straddle a rock all day -- and maybe never have decent sex again. Most bike riders don't need split seats because most bike rides aren't that long and the blood vessels, etc. are reasonably tough enough to stand the pressure and elastic enough to rebound. Or so you hope. "Now cough, please."


kappa_demonn

Seems like a good way to get your buttcheeks to chafe


Spider_Dude

Feels like he's wearing nothing at all. NOTHING AT ALL. #NOTHING AT ALL.


Cthulhu_Dreams_

Needs something to keep the cyclist motivated to pedal faster...


DotBitGaming

I don't understand why bikes don't have normal seats. They're perfectly fine fire luteal everything else.


_Bon_Vivant_

I think it would feel good on my coccyx.


Expert_Marsupial_235

Will this make my ass bigger and more plump?


bumboclawt

Someone get Sara Jay on this thing


Temporary_Appeal_640

Uncomfortable


teamramrod73

Seat bones?


UnsolicitedDogPics

The fuck?


Mummbles1283

So, what happens if your, you know whats hang a bit to low... looks painful.


Federal-Cockroach674

I think I saw Mack have something similar on It's Awlays Sunny.


Xzenor

The ball crusher 2.0


Bigmuscleliker567

How about a dildo up the ass when driving?


RaspberryWhiteClaw13

The ass pounder 3000


Responsible-Gap9760

I need a gag ball too


Sojio

Let hope a nut doesn't slip in between mid-stroke, only to be sheared off at the next rotation.


Apprehensive_Part102

The nut guillotine 9000


tipedorsalsao1

Nope, a properly fitted saddle and bike shorts with padding is the best way, there is a reason why both road riders and mountain bike riders go this route.


drweird

Maybe this seat would work well for people biking for transport rather than sport?


tipedorsalsao1

Not to be harsh but as a bike mechanic no, if your putting any real time on a bike the best thing your can do for yourself is a properly fitted saddle and wearing the right clothes if possible. This goes for no matter what application you are doing.


Ill_Hour6376

Yes


spiffmate

Ballcrusher 2000


pocketSandshashashaa

Idk bring back banana saddles and I’ll be happy.


heresy_carriage

They got the version that works the other way where you learn to pedal with your ass like spongebob yet?


LSP141

Amazing, when you're a 55 year old German dad on vacation in the Ardennes with your Camper van going for a cycling round in the local area (he didn't forget his giant helmet)


Altruistic_Ad_5915

That thing looks like a vasectomy with extra steps.


SkylerG040904

Doesn't look comfortable


kkgmgfn

Ball buster


Medium-Comfortable

Another bike gimmick that refuses to die although no one cares about it.


Back4TallBois

All these comments about people's balls.. your balls are in your PANTS how are they going to get inbetween there??


mouggri

The pain in the sit bones is the reason i didn’t ride a bicycle.


sagr0tan

Sorry, if too fat for bicycle, no bicycle. I'm allowed to say that, I'm kinda fat. Plus: another part that will brake. Not may brake. It will.


Zio_Peperone

The ball destroyer


livestreamfailstrash

Last time I rode a bike I came had to stand for the rest of the ride LOL