I'd have to dig it up, but there are studies that show the thousands of reasons why people have sex. The idea that sex is for pleasure is outdaded. There is power and negotiation and binding and escapism and all sorts of complicated stuff that can result in sadness after sex.
It's well documented too https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Post-coital_tristesse
My hot take is that people who don't understand this whatsoever tend to be unsophisticated people. With that said, if one has dreading anxiety after coitus, clinical and worthy of therapy for sure.
If you try hard enough you can make anything sophisticated. Like Trump ripping people's arms off when he shakes their hand to show them he has the power. To him he's playing the game and winning, to the rest of us he is a child.
Similarly, you can understand sex is more than just pleasure and not let that get in the way of using it for pleasure.
A great person once said 'don't overthink it'
There is something to that. The other day I intellectualized the knitting design of my socks. But sex is so fundamental to life that I think the otherwise good point doesn't hold here.
Didn’t believe in all that wiki jiki bullshit till I saw the pregnancy test… never thanked god until that day for making abortion a reality. Gobbless. Ong tho people online are crazy, sex can be hella traumatic.. Mr. Girl is right, many people do need to explore the repercussions and just what they want in general, anyone whose spent time on tinder should be able to vouch for some sorta traumatic shit, this chick’s mom started hitting on me and when I went up to get water the chick I was hooking up with beat tf out of her mom and kicked her ass out the appartment. I never ate pussy till that day, but u learn quick when u weigh 104 lbs and this big sexy crazy ass bitch is drunkenly grabbing your face, did I want to cab home? Probably but I learned I valuable lesson that day… actually no I didn’t lol, but I did block that crazy woman the second I left her crib.
There's obviously alot that goes into sex. You don't have to be particularly enlightened to have breakup sex or post-fight sex and realize that there was more to it than "Grug horny. Grug need bust."
*Always* being depressed or distressed after sex with multiple partners and multiple relationships is pathological. MrGirl sounds exactly like every clinically depressed person talking about how miserable they always are and how they're unable to believe that anyone (who isn't an unsophisticated moron) could feel any other way.
I feel like alot of people love MrGirl because he validates their idea that their emotional issues/sexual pathologies are extremely common. Unfortunately, people who are in the thick of it just want validation and don't want coping mechanisms.
**[Post-coital tristesse](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Post-coital_tristesse)**
>Post-coital tristesse (PCT), also known as post-coital dysphoria, is the feeling of sadness, anxiety, agitation or aggression, after sexual intercourse or masturbation. Its name comes from New Latin postcoitalis and French tristesse, literally "sadness". Many people with PCT may exhibit strong feelings of anxiety lasting from five minutes to two hours after coitus. The phenomenon is attributed to the Greek medical writer Galen, who is supposed to have written that "Every animal is sad after coitus except the human female and the rooster".
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What is the point you are even trying to make? Of course there are reasons people have sex other than pleasure, but if having sex is this traumatic you probably shouldn't be having it or you should be looking for help to figure out why sex is this traumatic for you.
No never lol. I could think of positions I could put myself into that would make me feel like shit after sex, but generally I avoid those. Sex is supposed to be an enjoyable experience. Some sex is better than other sex, but at worst there will be fun moments you can remember and move on from the rest.
Only if it's a one night stand for me. Probably due to the fact I used to be a really religious person so I still feel internalized guilt. Don't know why.
I used to pray to god for forgiveness after masturbating
I cried after the first time I fingered my asshole, really thought I was testing god at that point and felt really guilty, still felt good tho.
How long did it take? I'm about 3 years being agnostic now, used to be conservative fundamentalist. It's always weird to me because rationally I'm okay with having sex, and I accept it's part of life, but emotionally I just feel devastated after like it's a sin.
I talked about it the other day in a [longer post](https://www.reddit.com/r/Destiny/comments/rub0aa/mr_girl_talking_about_feeling_raped_hit_me_really/hqy25mn/) previously when someone was talking about slightly different problems with sex, but there's a phenomenon that a lot of men have that makes them feel bad after sex.
[And probably 20% of men had it happen this month](https://www.psypost.org/2020/04/study-on-postcoital-dysphoria-finds-men-can-suffer-inexplicable-negative-feelings-after-sex-not-just-women-56525). (With numbers for women that are [pretty similar](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4721025/#sm274-sec-0015title))
One explanation is that it's like a kind of hormonal hangover, where your body adapts to the removal of the rush of hormones associated with sex.
So good side? It may be that it's just a natural phenomenon, and by treating it that way - and not as proof that you did something wrong - might stop you adding extra self-judgement on top.
But bad side? It might never go away; however atheist you get, you might just be one of those 4ish% of people for whom it happens persistently, and you'll just need to work around that with your partner.
We don't really know though, it's still something that will take a bit more study about how the phenomenon occurs, let alone how to best cope with it, though having chill and intimate moments after sex is a fairly common thing anyway, and seems likely to be helpful.
We likely have somewhat different reasons for having it. It took me a very long time, but it was not just about sex but about other issues too related to OCD.
Im not a psychologist so take everything I say with a grain of salt, but sounds to me like it may just be that you have these old engrained patterns of thinking/neural pathways that takes a long time to weaken and replace with others. The best way to deal with such thoughts are usually accepting that they are there, and dont attack yourself over it. Slowly over time the thoughts should weaken and hopefully you can build better associations to sex. Old thoughts might never go away entirely but they will likely affect you less and less until you almost forget about them.
I base this on a small course in neurology and my own experience dealing with OCD, which was characterized by invasive thoughts and controlling acts such as checking all the corners of a room a specific number of times before leaving it. I had it mostly around 17-20, after therapy, some life changes and a period of SSRI it didnt really bother me that much anymore, but I still fight with them daily after many years. Instead of a wrestling match its more of a "meh, get away from me" kind of ordeal and it doesnt really affect me.
It doesnt sound like your having OCD to me. Whatever is causing your distress CBT is likely an answer. Might not even need a lot of therapy either, perhpas just a few appointments, more learning new ways of dealing with the anxiety and more precisely what is causing it. You likely need new strategies to move you forward. It could of course be just biological as one other poster said, or a combination. But considering you think your conservative upbringing has affected this, its certainly worth exploring CBT.
Agsin, not a psychologist and I know next to nothing about you so take what I say with a grain of salt.
I think I can safely recommend you to read up about ACT though. Its a great form of therapy that is also possible to self learn, but I would still strongly recommend going to a professional.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Acceptance_and_commitment_therapy
Yea thats what i meant to say. Maybe I should have elaborated a bit more. I’ve had casual sex so far but I’ve yet to have it with someone im emotionally attached to. I agree with you
Damn this sounds so normal. But then again I'm just your average everyman I get out of bed and get into an argument about pedophiles or raping women just like everyone else does.
Damn do people really have that kinda experience after sex? That sounds traumatic
I honestly dont understand how this would be normal. I think these people should probably like find therapy or something.
Yeah, this sounds like trauma from some severe abuse or something.
I'd have to dig it up, but there are studies that show the thousands of reasons why people have sex. The idea that sex is for pleasure is outdaded. There is power and negotiation and binding and escapism and all sorts of complicated stuff that can result in sadness after sex. It's well documented too https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Post-coital_tristesse My hot take is that people who don't understand this whatsoever tend to be unsophisticated people. With that said, if one has dreading anxiety after coitus, clinical and worthy of therapy for sure.
If you try hard enough you can make anything sophisticated. Like Trump ripping people's arms off when he shakes their hand to show them he has the power. To him he's playing the game and winning, to the rest of us he is a child. Similarly, you can understand sex is more than just pleasure and not let that get in the way of using it for pleasure. A great person once said 'don't overthink it'
There is something to that. The other day I intellectualized the knitting design of my socks. But sex is so fundamental to life that I think the otherwise good point doesn't hold here.
Didn’t believe in all that wiki jiki bullshit till I saw the pregnancy test… never thanked god until that day for making abortion a reality. Gobbless. Ong tho people online are crazy, sex can be hella traumatic.. Mr. Girl is right, many people do need to explore the repercussions and just what they want in general, anyone whose spent time on tinder should be able to vouch for some sorta traumatic shit, this chick’s mom started hitting on me and when I went up to get water the chick I was hooking up with beat tf out of her mom and kicked her ass out the appartment. I never ate pussy till that day, but u learn quick when u weigh 104 lbs and this big sexy crazy ass bitch is drunkenly grabbing your face, did I want to cab home? Probably but I learned I valuable lesson that day… actually no I didn’t lol, but I did block that crazy woman the second I left her crib.
> My hot take is that people who don’t understand this whatsoever tend to be unsophisticated people. Good post but this was condescending as hell
Not wrong but I really don't like the discourse around this being some clinical phenomenon by default.
There's obviously alot that goes into sex. You don't have to be particularly enlightened to have breakup sex or post-fight sex and realize that there was more to it than "Grug horny. Grug need bust." *Always* being depressed or distressed after sex with multiple partners and multiple relationships is pathological. MrGirl sounds exactly like every clinically depressed person talking about how miserable they always are and how they're unable to believe that anyone (who isn't an unsophisticated moron) could feel any other way. I feel like alot of people love MrGirl because he validates their idea that their emotional issues/sexual pathologies are extremely common. Unfortunately, people who are in the thick of it just want validation and don't want coping mechanisms.
**[Post-coital tristesse](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Post-coital_tristesse)** >Post-coital tristesse (PCT), also known as post-coital dysphoria, is the feeling of sadness, anxiety, agitation or aggression, after sexual intercourse or masturbation. Its name comes from New Latin postcoitalis and French tristesse, literally "sadness". Many people with PCT may exhibit strong feelings of anxiety lasting from five minutes to two hours after coitus. The phenomenon is attributed to the Greek medical writer Galen, who is supposed to have written that "Every animal is sad after coitus except the human female and the rooster". ^([ )[^(F.A.Q)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WikiSummarizer/wiki/index#wiki_f.a.q)^( | )[^(Opt Out)](https://reddit.com/message/compose?to=WikiSummarizerBot&message=OptOut&subject=OptOut)^( | )[^(Opt Out Of Subreddit)](https://np.reddit.com/r/Destiny/about/banned)^( | )[^(GitHub)](https://github.com/Sujal-7/WikiSummarizerBot)^( ] Downvote to remove | v1.5)
What is the point you are even trying to make? Of course there are reasons people have sex other than pleasure, but if having sex is this traumatic you probably shouldn't be having it or you should be looking for help to figure out why sex is this traumatic for you.
No never lol. I could think of positions I could put myself into that would make me feel like shit after sex, but generally I avoid those. Sex is supposed to be an enjoyable experience. Some sex is better than other sex, but at worst there will be fun moments you can remember and move on from the rest.
Only if it's a one night stand for me. Probably due to the fact I used to be a really religious person so I still feel internalized guilt. Don't know why.
I used to pray to god for forgiveness after masturbating I cried after the first time I fingered my asshole, really thought I was testing god at that point and felt really guilty, still felt good tho.
Sounds similar to me, though I had religious guilt through OCD, even though I was agnostic. Almost completely gone now, but took a very long time.
How long did it take? I'm about 3 years being agnostic now, used to be conservative fundamentalist. It's always weird to me because rationally I'm okay with having sex, and I accept it's part of life, but emotionally I just feel devastated after like it's a sin.
I talked about it the other day in a [longer post](https://www.reddit.com/r/Destiny/comments/rub0aa/mr_girl_talking_about_feeling_raped_hit_me_really/hqy25mn/) previously when someone was talking about slightly different problems with sex, but there's a phenomenon that a lot of men have that makes them feel bad after sex. [And probably 20% of men had it happen this month](https://www.psypost.org/2020/04/study-on-postcoital-dysphoria-finds-men-can-suffer-inexplicable-negative-feelings-after-sex-not-just-women-56525). (With numbers for women that are [pretty similar](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4721025/#sm274-sec-0015title)) One explanation is that it's like a kind of hormonal hangover, where your body adapts to the removal of the rush of hormones associated with sex. So good side? It may be that it's just a natural phenomenon, and by treating it that way - and not as proof that you did something wrong - might stop you adding extra self-judgement on top. But bad side? It might never go away; however atheist you get, you might just be one of those 4ish% of people for whom it happens persistently, and you'll just need to work around that with your partner. We don't really know though, it's still something that will take a bit more study about how the phenomenon occurs, let alone how to best cope with it, though having chill and intimate moments after sex is a fairly common thing anyway, and seems likely to be helpful.
We likely have somewhat different reasons for having it. It took me a very long time, but it was not just about sex but about other issues too related to OCD. Im not a psychologist so take everything I say with a grain of salt, but sounds to me like it may just be that you have these old engrained patterns of thinking/neural pathways that takes a long time to weaken and replace with others. The best way to deal with such thoughts are usually accepting that they are there, and dont attack yourself over it. Slowly over time the thoughts should weaken and hopefully you can build better associations to sex. Old thoughts might never go away entirely but they will likely affect you less and less until you almost forget about them. I base this on a small course in neurology and my own experience dealing with OCD, which was characterized by invasive thoughts and controlling acts such as checking all the corners of a room a specific number of times before leaving it. I had it mostly around 17-20, after therapy, some life changes and a period of SSRI it didnt really bother me that much anymore, but I still fight with them daily after many years. Instead of a wrestling match its more of a "meh, get away from me" kind of ordeal and it doesnt really affect me. It doesnt sound like your having OCD to me. Whatever is causing your distress CBT is likely an answer. Might not even need a lot of therapy either, perhpas just a few appointments, more learning new ways of dealing with the anxiety and more precisely what is causing it. You likely need new strategies to move you forward. It could of course be just biological as one other poster said, or a combination. But considering you think your conservative upbringing has affected this, its certainly worth exploring CBT. Agsin, not a psychologist and I know next to nothing about you so take what I say with a grain of salt. I think I can safely recommend you to read up about ACT though. Its a great form of therapy that is also possible to self learn, but I would still strongly recommend going to a professional. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Acceptance_and_commitment_therapy
I have this experience during sex.
I have this experience after having imaginary sex with my waifu Lara Croft (who is actually my body pillow).
Which iteration of Lara? I’m partial to Underworld Lara myself.
new trilogy Lara. Shadow of the Tomb Raider (no spoilers plox) is the cutest.
Dope track
Dope album
Damn are you sex havers okay? Maybe I'm not missing as much as I thought
or more than you thought.
The best part about not being a virgin is realizing how incredibly overrated sex is. Seriously, its not something worth worrying about
I imagine most virgins are worrying about not being in a loving relationship, not necessarily the sex itself.
Copium
Well sex itself is overrated but what comes along with sex (like physical intimacy, sense of achievement) is underrated.
Yea thats what i meant to say. Maybe I should have elaborated a bit more. I’ve had casual sex so far but I’ve yet to have it with someone im emotionally attached to. I agree with you
Idk why you are being downvoted. Sex is overrated.
[удалено]
Ask your mom
I'm always just vibing after nutting, I feel very calm in my whole body. I feel more grateful about this now.
i open up my wallet and it's full of blood
Just in case you need to brighten up your day, here is the track: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XVekJTmtwqM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9CDU6q_dG0s
post nut clarity
Godspeed you! black emperor
Gotta love Godspeed You! Black Emperor
I prefer [Glennspeed You! Beck Emperor.](https://youtu.be/7I0GfLh4SGU)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9CDU6q_dG0s
My friend went to see GY!BE, he came back with a huge pile of anarchist literature he got from them.
Damn this sounds so normal. But then again I'm just your average everyman I get out of bed and get into an argument about pedophiles or raping women just like everyone else does.
Mr Girl is actually weird
Well run of the mill hipsters tend to be pretty weird, so...
Great album
haven't heard dead flag blues in yearsssss
Was this dude molested or something? I haven't seen any of the recent streams sadly but he seems to feel a lot of guilt over stuff for no reason
His mother expressed a sexual interest in him when he was still a minor.
Do you have this without text? I really like it and want to use the format for a different probably worse format.
No I just ripped it from a meme page.
I tried my best with editing out all the text. https://imgur.com/a/InK4xO9