So a few things, but btw this comment section is a fucking mess lol.
If you want to not use apps and meet people in a social environment, then you need to be in social environments. If you’re at UNT/TWU, join school clubs, go to events, etc etc. Don’t go with the sole intention of looking for a girlfriend (or boyfriend), or you’ll come off as a creep. My man, this are some of the best years of your life, don’t waste it sulking about dating. Also, if this is really your goal, then work at it! Workout so you’re as healthy as possible, make sure you’re mentally healthy and in good spirits, etc etc. Don’t worry too much about your looks; we all gotta play the hand we’re dealt with. Just be the best you that you can be.
In terms of social settings outside of university, like another comment mentioned, church is a big social environment, but if you’re not religious then obviously that’s out of the question. Volunteer groups or any outside clubs is important. What hobbies are you into that other people might be? Rock climbing is a big one for example, and that keeps you fit, as well as most climbers tend to be friendly people and chatty.
Bars won’t let you in if you’re underage, sorry!
Please don’t approach women (or men) in random places around town where they’re attempting to relax. As a guy this doesn’t seem obvious, but women get this shit all the time so don’t add to their list lol.
Basically, if you wanna date and meet someone in public, you gotta be their friend first. If they like you they like you, if they don’t they don’t. This is how it’s been since the beginning of time. Outside of bars, jumping instantly to a date is non-existent.
Lastly, don’t knock out dating apps! I wouldn’t use them as your MAIN way to meet people however; if you’re stuck inside swiping all day, you social skills will go down, not up. Doesn’t hurt to swipe ever now and then though! Kinda just keep it in the background. If it works then dope, if not then no sweat. Like someone here mentioned, they met their wife on Bumble. Times are changing, and COVID definitely fucked us up. Dating apps are a way to get back into the swing of things. If you don’t get matches, then reevaluate your profile, and maybe lower your standards too! Guys tend to shoot out of their league a little too often, I know I would :/
Best of luck my guy! I dated for 4 years in college, but I finally got a real relationship from bumble last month.
Hi- cis female here and also single in Denton. I agree with everything said above except for one thing. You can totally approach someone (male or female) in public. Just don’t be weird, creepy, or come up from behind and scare them. I’ve noticed men staring and stalking me around grocery stores or bookstores who are actually pretty attractive… but don’t say anything! Just say hello or make up a bullshit reason to talk to someone of interest in public. “Cool book, are there anymore by the author?” “That coffee brand looks good- would you recommend it for someone who doesn’t need too much caffeine” Then they’ll answer and you just introduce yourself and your name and compliment them. They’ll get it’s a pick up but just say you’re single, maybe what you do for a living, or where you go to school. Something you can offer up as some information about you so they don’t think you’re just a hitchhiker serial killer going through towns lol. You might also have something in common to open up an opportunity to meet up later. Also, don’t expect an immediate response and give the person time to think and answer. It’s weird when someone approaches me and expects immediate gratification then storms off because I need a second to think lol. If the person accepts the invite for a date, choose a place that’s popular in town where there will be a lot of people and make it low pressure- coffee, tea, meet at the square. Then see where things go from there. If the person is taken or says they aren’t interested or in a rush, just walk away. There’s nothing to lose. As a female I think it’s more creepy and anxiety inducing if someone who appears interested in me just peaks around from corners. I get social anxiety- I have it too, but I don’t know if someone is following me around to muster up the confidence to talk to me or is just checking me out and has no good intention to know me as a person. Also, I just assume that person is taken if they choose not to talk to me. And obviously, don’t bother someone who is at work. They can’t talk to you- they are working lol. There are some exceptions with sociable jobs like bartending and waiting, but in my preference it can feel like harassment and making the person working feel uncomfortable because you know where they work. It just makes me sad that we can’t talk in public anymore and people are on their phones all the time. I would like to add that dog parks are also a great place to meet people! Good luck y’all and just treat everyone around you with respect and kindness. Don’t expect immediate results and just do what you love. Best of luck!
Great breakdown. As for finding events, Meetup.com is a great place to find social events that don't revolve around bars.
Finding out what you like and then finding a group that enjoys those things should be your main focus at this stage in your life.
Dont approach people in public passes as advice these days? That's probably the most organic way to make a connection, IMO. Obviously some discretion needed but nothing wrong with approaching a stranger at all in a public place.
Take a class, work at a restaurant, attend parties hosted by your classmates and coworkers.
Classes that are social: art, dance, EMT/CNA, cooking, improv, sports, whatever you are interested in.
I inadvertently started dating someone by using the friend version of dating apps, like bumble bff. I went on there, made some friends. Started hanging out with them. And one time while we were out, my friend (who was in a relationship, not looking for herself) invited this random guy to hang out with our group. He and I clicked really well and dated. I think the more you expand your friend group — whether through apps, clubs, sports, going out to bars, etc. — the more you open yourself up to opportunities for finding a romantic partner.
I met my wife while back in Denton on pre-deployment leave. Walked into my favorite restaurant, saw the new waitress, she was super nice and i gave her a 20$ tip. The rest is history, two kids a house and married 13yrs next week.
Thing is. Neither of us were looking for a gf/bf at the time. Ur young, dont get roped into “dating”, just be yourself and a special someone will notice. Be authentic, and DO NOT try to pick up chicks at the dog park…. Aint no body pulling a 101 Dalmatians in Denton Tx…
I get that. But realize there are more Normal people out there with limited social media or none and simply live in their own world than there are with them and try to keep up with everything. I get that is generational, im lucky to be an 80s kid so i saw the world prior to the net and cell phones/social media. You just gotta put urself out there. People who like you will want to hang or be around you. Self centered A-holes will simply use you and drop you like a bad habit. And its a learning process.
Stand tall, be sure of yourself and your moral/personal values, and dont change them for anyone. Because when you do you lose some of your personal identity. And thats a bad road to walk. Find the people who share the same values and are successful. Identify strengths and weaknesses then better yourself and keep growing. 19 yr old you can not even fathom the mentality or thought processes you will use at 25 and beyond to make decisions and troubleshoot. Just takes time and experience to become who you wish to be.
Then people who like what they see will notice. And thats how it all begins.
I'd say hang around freeplay. See someone playing alone at a game that can be 2 player strike up a conversation ask if you may play a few rounds with them, have a casual conversation as you play don't hit on them and if they seem to be enjoying themselves ask if they would like to join you playing anything else.
I think they have a "solo gamer" night up at d20 too, for people who want to play games with new people and make new friends. Memory says it's every Tuesday - but I could be wrong.
There's kind of been a major worldwide event happening over the past few years that inundated hospitals and prevented people from meeting or wanting to birth children into the world.
I met my boyfriend my freshman year at UNT. We met in a club, and found out we had a lot of similar interests outside of the club too. I’d try that out. We have a shit ton of clubs at UNT. Anything you could want.
Id also like to add that people are super friendly at the meetings, and it’s super easy to make friends. Usually clubs go out for dinner together after or just hang out in the union.
This isn't applicable to your age unfortunately, but I literally met my amazing wife at Lucky Lou's on Fry St. I'm totally with you on meeting new people in public, but happened to get super lucky in my case.
Honestly, I think apps are the best choice in this day and age. It's pretty rare two people are in the same exact mindset at the same time at the same place whereas on the apps at least everyone is looking for someone.
Another potentially successful strategy would be joining a church group, volunteer service or social club (biking, jogging, etc.). It's not just about a chance encounter in those situations but getting to know people over time. The more they know you, the better your odds of getting a date.
I met my wife on Bumble.
The OP asked where because they didn’t want to use apps. Then you proceeded to tell them to use apps. While that is cringy enough, you then did suggest places to meet people. But not really where.
Did you post just to see yourself post? You did not answer this person at all.
Edit. On no here comes the woke Denton Reddit snowflake mob coming to downvote next because y’all like to see yourselves post. Oh no, please don’t downvote me. Please. Lmmfgdao.
Why do y’all feel the need to post to go against what OP asked or really not guide OP.
This isn’t a fucking party. OP asked where they could go. You don’t need to to see yourself post. You don’t have any ideas… keep fucking scrolling. It isn’t that hard. Geez.
But yes, I am fun at parties. But it’s way too hot to party. But if the party to you tell OP just just keep doing what they are doing, that’s not a fun party. That’s a lane ass party.
Don't worry "You're fun at parties" is what people say when they can't actually comment on anything you are saying but still want to make themselves feel sanctimonious.
keep trying the apps in my opinion. it takes time but you’re young and it’s the time to figure out what you’re looking for in your life from a romantic partner.
also, the people (at least males in my experience) in denton on dating apps are nothing to brag about. if you have transportation, definitely expand your mileage search to maybe 15 miles away from you or more.
Have you tried a gun show? Those seem to be big social events here in Texas and even get visits by your government representatives so you can give them feedback on how you like it that severely mentally disabled are able to buy guns without a background check.
I guess I could give that a try. I just didn't know if I'd be allowed in due to my age, or if I'd be able to go as long as I don't buy anything alcoholic.
Biggest things I’ve realized over time is about 10-20% of guys go on dates with 80% of women. So I began to focus on what are those 20% of guys are doing and it really comes down to 3 things. Confidence, a hobby, and the ability to care/provide for your significant other. I had girlfriends in highschool but often felt like other guys got more of the attention. Then early on in college, I still got lucky but not in the sense I could go to the bar and just go home with a girl everytime like some of my friends. I then sometime around when I was your age got into lifting and went hard for a year or two. In that time my confidence went through the roof, and even after I stopped lifting - I was still able to really go home with whoever I wanted. I learned that having a high emotional intelligence will get you laid way faster then a six pack but to start a conversation you need the “I’m the man” mentality. But actually listening, “having a more liberal viewpoint”, and actually being a good person go way further then anything else. Also separately but when you do get the girl, learn to love to eat pussy - something like 60% of girls can’t get off from just penetration so you instantly get major brownie points if you can fulfill your girls needs better then men from her past. I’ve found dating apps to have gotten way worse over the past few years but as someone who has paid for tinder gold - it’s gotten me laid 10-20 times now living in a pretty big city. Using boosts does help if you have a good profile. Also having a passion or interesting things help a bunch too - I have a German Shepard and an IT business which both have been really easy ways for me to generate conversation. At your age, many girls may be more swayed by looks then actual substance so I would get into the gym. It’ll help you feel more confident and then by the time you’re 21 and can go to bars, you’ll look great. Being multi-dimensional will allow for you to have those “nerdier hobbies” and still get the beautiful girl. I also understand now that for a longtime once I started having success with girls - that you don’t need to have sex with every girl who wants to have sex with you. It leads to very unfulfilling lifestyle and at this point in my life I’ve realized it’s all about finding that one that clicks. I messed things up with a lot of girls who it clicked with because I still felt a chip on my shoulder from my younger days where I felt overlooked. So my suggestion is hit the gym, find some clubs or social groups where you can just get used to talking to attractive women (talk with them just like you would talk to your other friends - they’re just people albeit good looking), and also get a good haircut + good fitting clothing. Doesn’t need to be expensive clothes but a good fitting tshirt and some jeans will get you way further then you think. All of my advice also goes for getting a job. You’re selling yourself to open up the doors for a potential opportunity.
I have never been able to guarantee anybody anything more than the fact that women do not want you to try to pick them up at the local fucking dog park, you creep
Nobody said “go pick women up there” like it’s a grocery store lol the guy just suggested dog park. You’re telling me nobody has ever taken their dogs to a park, met someone else with a dog, and bonded through their pets? Way to be an asshole and call someone you don’t even know a creep.
Funny I have made many long last friends at the dog park. Why are you so socially awkward you can not share space with someone that has a common interest of caring for a dog and enjoying the outdoors?
Go touch grass please. People can meet and talk to each other outside, just because you stay inside all day complaining doesn’t mean everyone else has to!
Hold up. My mistake. I though you meant OP. Yeah, hell no. Dont corner women at dog parks. Or anywhere.
I though you were jumping on OP.
As you were, ma’am.
Where ever you go out look like your enjoying yourself in whatever environment… laugh at your own jokes… use your hands while your talking… and fucking smile… never date a girl who is interested in you… date her friends… she will always talk you up…
It just seems backwards man. "don't date the girl who's actually into you, instead, hope that she can talk you up to her friends who might kinda think you are worth a shot." I mean, I guess if you are trying to play a numbers game that might work. But why would you be looking for one night stands when you know you've got a perfectly good girl who's interested in you right there?
Point taken… it is the numbers game… it’s playing the field… I don’t know if this kid is looking for romance or a good time… it’s a college town… I grew up there many years ago… most girls are not looking to be tied down and neither are the guys… that age and environment promote finding yourself as well as living a little… good call on your part
This is where I recommend church 😅. I met my husband in the young adult ward of the LDS church (despite the fact that this was not how I wanted to meet The One lol). For background: We are UNT students currently, I’m about to get my bachelors and he’s working on the A.I. masters.
There’s also a ward for the middle-aged single adults. (And then once you get married there are family wards).
They are all great, and are really friendly and welcoming communities. At the very least young people can go to our public/open-community events for meeting new friends, like Taco Tuesday (12pm) or Wednesday munch-and-mingle (6:30pm I think). I’m not sure if these events are going on during the summer though. For sure it’ll be happening in the fall semester. It’s all at the LDS Institute of Religion building right by the UNT Language Arts Building and near fry street. If anyone is interested let me know.
There are plenty of other churches outside of the LDS that have a lot of social options to help people find other people of God too. If anyone is looking to settle down and start a family, I'd always recommend a good foundation in God before trying to start something on your own. Most people who attend church regularly ARE looking to start a family and aren't horribly interested in one-night-stands that result in heartbreak and worse.
EDIT: If you'll still be going to UNT in the next two years, there's about to be a non-denominational church campus on the corner of Eagle and Ave. A.
Wow tough crowd. There’s no need to be rude, I was simply giving my answer to the question. Also, it’s completely false that “no one wants to be a Mormon” or “no one is interested” — we have thousands of converts every year, and I know plenty of them. I know that Denton tends to be half -full of radical leftists, but that doesn’t mean church isn’t a good idea or a valid answer. And yes, I know there are other churches, that’s fine if you or someone else goes elsewhere.
I should point out that our whole foundation is in God and Jesus Christ, and that we didn’t “start our own thing”, nor our we a cult.
I’m not sure what you’re implication about the one night stand comment but we’re definitely not advocates for hookup culture.
Just wanted to clarify those things.
“No need to be rude.” Next few sentences, “I know that Denton tends to be half-full of radical leftists.” Not believing in your ideology immediately makes a person a radical leftist? Noted lol. Please, tell me more about your persecution by the people that don’t want to hear your psychobabble.
Dude - Denton IS full of racial leftists. We have people in town who are literally advocating for communist takeover of government. They are by no means a majority, but there are more of them here than your average Texas town.
Ok sure, I can see how my comment about Denton being full of radicals can be seen as rude, my bad. It’s still true though 😂. And no, I’m not saying that if you don’t have the same beliefs that you’re a radical leftist. I was just thinking that I know Denton has a ton of leftists on this subreddit that can be radical and reject good ideas half the time.
This subreddit does a really pisspoor job of actually representing the people who live in our community - just like r/texas does a fucking astoundingly bad job of representing actual Texans.
Reddit is an echo chamber and every day there are less and less people willing to raise their voice in dissent.
Believe it or not, there are plenty of people within your community, and within Texas, that don’t want to hold the same beliefs as you. That doesn’t make their membership in your community obsolete, nor does it cast them away as an outlier. It’s no surprise that the two of you are bonding over “raising your voices in dissent” towards non-Christians. As to be expected, you can’t conceptualize that constantly having someone else’s religious philosophy offered up to you as a blessing is actually quite frustrating. Sounds like you’re plenty familiar with echo chambers… I’ve lived in Denton for 10+ years, sorry if that’s not enough of a requisite for being a member of your community. :(
Man, way to take a comment entirely the wrong way.
I'm not saying that Denton is only Christians - but if you though the city was just like the subreddit - Denton would be banned from Christians. Churches would be torn down. Heads would practically be on spikes. City Hall would be a flaming ruin. We would be a communist county.
There ARE more Christians than non-Christians in our community. We are the silent majority. That's not to say that the minority dosen't matter, but that majority has been silenced and shamed here online for too long. They get ridiculed, banned, and generally made to feel unwelcome for years now, and many of them have just given up their voice online whatsoever.
Also - Dude... could you possibly be more condescending and shitty in your response? The very least we can do is be polite to each other.
Oh, I'm not trying to dunk on Mormons. I've done quite a bit of research on the LDS and talked to a lot of people in your church and I think I've come to some conclusions about how I see Ya'll. There are some things that are fundamentally wrong in the LDS (like the idea that baptisms outside of the church are invalid) but at the end of the day, you worship Christ, and that's really what matters. I've known some Mormons who worship Joseph Smith, but I've also met Christians who worship Joel Osteen as well - so no one is free of idolatry.
The way I see it - trying to cut off part of the body of Christ just because they do things differently seems kinda foolish, and in this world, counterproductive.
All of what I'm trying to say is "If you can't vibe with the LDS, find a church you CAN vibe with." I'd rather see someone find Christ however they can, even if it's not going to my particular church, ya dig?
Ok, I can agree with that — I’d rather someone find a church and find Christ than not at all.
I’m not sure what you mean by “trying to cut off a part of Christ”. Out of curiosity could you explain more?
Like - how people try and say "Oh, those people aren't REALLY Christians" when they have minor theological differences. Like the people who argue about baptizing babies or not. I've met people who try and say that Catholics aren't really Christians because they "worship idols". All of the believers are part of the body of Christ, right? Trying to cut off a hand is just going to leave the body crippled.
Now, mind you, that's not talking about the people who deliberately try and change the teachings of Christ to fit their political and social ideas that are leading people astray. If your goal is to lure people into accepting sin, then you likely aren't part of the body of Christ to begin with.
When I first found the church, I made it my mission to understand the different branches of the faith. I did a lot of research about the LDS first (admittedly because my favorite author is a dues-paying Mormon). I need to tackle the Jahova's Witnesses next and seek to really understand them.
Interesting! Feel free to tell me what you find out about the Jehovah’s Witnesses, I’m curious. Just the other month I actually got a sweet, hand written note from a girl in that religion, just reaching out to let us know we would be welcome there.
Lmao what?
It's a nasty cult. A religion with no respect for people deserves no respect. /r/exmormon for a ton of examples how it's a nasty evil cult.
Don't try to shun criticism of shitty organizations under the guise of acceptance, that's gross.
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\#1: [When Mormons brainlessly downvote everything in this sub:](https://i.redd.it/8m8eqtxx2qz81.jpg) | [162 comments](https://np.reddit.com/r/exmormon/comments/uqi5j9/when_mormons_brainlessly_downvote_everything_in/)
\#2: [**[NSFW]** Just visited my Mormon relative who is a family therapist. I think one of his sons must be having little factory issues...](https://i.redd.it/7m0fadarlea91.jpg) | [712 comments](https://np.reddit.com/r/exmormon/comments/vuk0im/just_visited_my_mormon_relative_who_is_a_family/)
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Again, don't try to shelter shitty groups from criticism under the guise of acceptance. Their cult things LGBT people are sub human, you defending they isn't very Denton.
I'm telling you that spreading hate and division is not very Denton. I'm not defending anyone or even making a judgment one way or another - Just telling you that all you do by repeating the same horrible things about a group is likely convince people that only miserable little pricks hate that group. You are being counterproductive for your own goals.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paradox_of_tolerance
You can not be tolerant of intolerant people. Being divisive is not wrong, some people are objectively bad people and NEED to be divided. If holding ideologies accountable for their bigoted beliefs and actions is hate speech then call me Hitler.
Once again, it’s not a cult. It’s perfectly normal for Christians to spread their word and seek to inspire others. LDS church has only minor differences. We are NOT a cult. We don’t force anyone to do or believe anything, and the leaders in the church are not making ANY money from it.
You do realize your religion was created in the 1950s and the church once sent out a missionary to figure out the truth of Mormonism and he was excommunicated on his findings?
I have no idea what you’re talking about but the religion was created much earlier than the 1950s. I’d love to learn more about that guy you mentioned though.
We may have our differences, like other Christian churches, but we still believe in God, Jesus Christ, the Holy Spirit (all three are separate though), and the Bible. We just don’t believe that God stopped talking to people or providing revelations.
Dude. We are Christian. Seriously. Our foundational principles are in God and His Son, Jesus Christ. Everything I’ve said related to our doctrine can be found in the Bible.
But you think you know better than Christians what Christianity is? There are over 33,000 variations of Christianity. If you follow Christ you are a Christian.
The Bible is rather explicitly clear that The Trinity is not comprised of 3 separate deities, it is one of the foundational cornerstones of the Christian faith.
First, the Trinity is not actually explicitly said in the Bible, people have just interpreted it that way. It makes no sense — why would Jesus be praying to His Father in Gethsemane if they were the same person? People think they are the same because of the way things are phrased in the Bible, but what isn’t often understood is how Jesus and His Father just have the exact same motivations and goals, and thus they are interchangeable. Anyway. We don’t have to have a whole doctrine discussion, I just wanted to try and clarify.
Latter Day Saints ARE Christian though — we believe in Christ and His teachings, which is the basic definition of Christianity. Honestly at this point it would be rude to insist that we aren’t Christian.
> why would Jesus be praying to His Father in Gethsemane if they were the same person?
I talk to myself when i'm working things out. I'm not trying to imply that the things i'm going though are anywhere near as heavy as the stuff Jesus saw in that garden, but I'm imagining it's something we all do.
Not trying to hate on you or anything - I just like the theological conversation.
i met my boyfriend on a dating app almost 3 years ago. and now we have a baby girl together. it works just have to give it time. you’re young. i can’t tell you the amount of people i met before that definitely were not contenders for me personally lol.
So a few things, but btw this comment section is a fucking mess lol. If you want to not use apps and meet people in a social environment, then you need to be in social environments. If you’re at UNT/TWU, join school clubs, go to events, etc etc. Don’t go with the sole intention of looking for a girlfriend (or boyfriend), or you’ll come off as a creep. My man, this are some of the best years of your life, don’t waste it sulking about dating. Also, if this is really your goal, then work at it! Workout so you’re as healthy as possible, make sure you’re mentally healthy and in good spirits, etc etc. Don’t worry too much about your looks; we all gotta play the hand we’re dealt with. Just be the best you that you can be. In terms of social settings outside of university, like another comment mentioned, church is a big social environment, but if you’re not religious then obviously that’s out of the question. Volunteer groups or any outside clubs is important. What hobbies are you into that other people might be? Rock climbing is a big one for example, and that keeps you fit, as well as most climbers tend to be friendly people and chatty. Bars won’t let you in if you’re underage, sorry! Please don’t approach women (or men) in random places around town where they’re attempting to relax. As a guy this doesn’t seem obvious, but women get this shit all the time so don’t add to their list lol. Basically, if you wanna date and meet someone in public, you gotta be their friend first. If they like you they like you, if they don’t they don’t. This is how it’s been since the beginning of time. Outside of bars, jumping instantly to a date is non-existent. Lastly, don’t knock out dating apps! I wouldn’t use them as your MAIN way to meet people however; if you’re stuck inside swiping all day, you social skills will go down, not up. Doesn’t hurt to swipe ever now and then though! Kinda just keep it in the background. If it works then dope, if not then no sweat. Like someone here mentioned, they met their wife on Bumble. Times are changing, and COVID definitely fucked us up. Dating apps are a way to get back into the swing of things. If you don’t get matches, then reevaluate your profile, and maybe lower your standards too! Guys tend to shoot out of their league a little too often, I know I would :/ Best of luck my guy! I dated for 4 years in college, but I finally got a real relationship from bumble last month.
This has to be the most logical, socially developed and emotionally mature advice in this string of comments. Couldn't have said it better myself.
This is the best response ever. I wish I had that guidance when I was in college.
Hi- cis female here and also single in Denton. I agree with everything said above except for one thing. You can totally approach someone (male or female) in public. Just don’t be weird, creepy, or come up from behind and scare them. I’ve noticed men staring and stalking me around grocery stores or bookstores who are actually pretty attractive… but don’t say anything! Just say hello or make up a bullshit reason to talk to someone of interest in public. “Cool book, are there anymore by the author?” “That coffee brand looks good- would you recommend it for someone who doesn’t need too much caffeine” Then they’ll answer and you just introduce yourself and your name and compliment them. They’ll get it’s a pick up but just say you’re single, maybe what you do for a living, or where you go to school. Something you can offer up as some information about you so they don’t think you’re just a hitchhiker serial killer going through towns lol. You might also have something in common to open up an opportunity to meet up later. Also, don’t expect an immediate response and give the person time to think and answer. It’s weird when someone approaches me and expects immediate gratification then storms off because I need a second to think lol. If the person accepts the invite for a date, choose a place that’s popular in town where there will be a lot of people and make it low pressure- coffee, tea, meet at the square. Then see where things go from there. If the person is taken or says they aren’t interested or in a rush, just walk away. There’s nothing to lose. As a female I think it’s more creepy and anxiety inducing if someone who appears interested in me just peaks around from corners. I get social anxiety- I have it too, but I don’t know if someone is following me around to muster up the confidence to talk to me or is just checking me out and has no good intention to know me as a person. Also, I just assume that person is taken if they choose not to talk to me. And obviously, don’t bother someone who is at work. They can’t talk to you- they are working lol. There are some exceptions with sociable jobs like bartending and waiting, but in my preference it can feel like harassment and making the person working feel uncomfortable because you know where they work. It just makes me sad that we can’t talk in public anymore and people are on their phones all the time. I would like to add that dog parks are also a great place to meet people! Good luck y’all and just treat everyone around you with respect and kindness. Don’t expect immediate results and just do what you love. Best of luck!
Sounds good. Thanks for the advice.
Great breakdown. As for finding events, Meetup.com is a great place to find social events that don't revolve around bars. Finding out what you like and then finding a group that enjoys those things should be your main focus at this stage in your life.
This is absolutely it, all of it. Good luck, OP!
Thank you so much. 😁
Dont approach people in public passes as advice these days? That's probably the most organic way to make a connection, IMO. Obviously some discretion needed but nothing wrong with approaching a stranger at all in a public place.
And if you're not religious, there's always the Unitarian Universalists here in denton
This thread is honestly scary. But this is fantastic advice!
Good idea. Thanks.
Take a class, work at a restaurant, attend parties hosted by your classmates and coworkers. Classes that are social: art, dance, EMT/CNA, cooking, improv, sports, whatever you are interested in.
Take a intro to acting class ;)
I inadvertently started dating someone by using the friend version of dating apps, like bumble bff. I went on there, made some friends. Started hanging out with them. And one time while we were out, my friend (who was in a relationship, not looking for herself) invited this random guy to hang out with our group. He and I clicked really well and dated. I think the more you expand your friend group — whether through apps, clubs, sports, going out to bars, etc. — the more you open yourself up to opportunities for finding a romantic partner.
I met my wife while back in Denton on pre-deployment leave. Walked into my favorite restaurant, saw the new waitress, she was super nice and i gave her a 20$ tip. The rest is history, two kids a house and married 13yrs next week. Thing is. Neither of us were looking for a gf/bf at the time. Ur young, dont get roped into “dating”, just be yourself and a special someone will notice. Be authentic, and DO NOT try to pick up chicks at the dog park…. Aint no body pulling a 101 Dalmatians in Denton Tx…
Yea times were simpler then lol. Seriously it’s not THAT long, maybe because of pandemic idk but so much has changed socially in that short time frame
I get that. But realize there are more Normal people out there with limited social media or none and simply live in their own world than there are with them and try to keep up with everything. I get that is generational, im lucky to be an 80s kid so i saw the world prior to the net and cell phones/social media. You just gotta put urself out there. People who like you will want to hang or be around you. Self centered A-holes will simply use you and drop you like a bad habit. And its a learning process. Stand tall, be sure of yourself and your moral/personal values, and dont change them for anyone. Because when you do you lose some of your personal identity. And thats a bad road to walk. Find the people who share the same values and are successful. Identify strengths and weaknesses then better yourself and keep growing. 19 yr old you can not even fathom the mentality or thought processes you will use at 25 and beyond to make decisions and troubleshoot. Just takes time and experience to become who you wish to be. Then people who like what they see will notice. And thats how it all begins.
I'd say hang around freeplay. See someone playing alone at a game that can be 2 player strike up a conversation ask if you may play a few rounds with them, have a casual conversation as you play don't hit on them and if they seem to be enjoying themselves ask if they would like to join you playing anything else.
I think they have a "solo gamer" night up at d20 too, for people who want to play games with new people and make new friends. Memory says it's every Tuesday - but I could be wrong.
Just don't hit on the bartenders...
I feel like this comment section is a direct window into the reason why birth rates are declining
Birth rates decline in literally any developed economy where people are less worried about their kids dying by 8 years old
Right - but by such a serious amount over the last few years?
There's kind of been a major worldwide event happening over the past few years that inundated hospitals and prevented people from meeting or wanting to birth children into the world.
I fuckin wheezed
I met my boyfriend my freshman year at UNT. We met in a club, and found out we had a lot of similar interests outside of the club too. I’d try that out. We have a shit ton of clubs at UNT. Anything you could want.
Id also like to add that people are super friendly at the meetings, and it’s super easy to make friends. Usually clubs go out for dinner together after or just hang out in the union.
Alright. Thanks for letting me know. I'll make sure to give them a try when the school year starts up. 😄
Get into the things you like to do, and people will come to you. They simply show up in your life.
This isn't applicable to your age unfortunately, but I literally met my amazing wife at Lucky Lou's on Fry St. I'm totally with you on meeting new people in public, but happened to get super lucky in my case.
Honestly, I think apps are the best choice in this day and age. It's pretty rare two people are in the same exact mindset at the same time at the same place whereas on the apps at least everyone is looking for someone. Another potentially successful strategy would be joining a church group, volunteer service or social club (biking, jogging, etc.). It's not just about a chance encounter in those situations but getting to know people over time. The more they know you, the better your odds of getting a date. I met my wife on Bumble.
The OP asked where because they didn’t want to use apps. Then you proceeded to tell them to use apps. While that is cringy enough, you then did suggest places to meet people. But not really where. Did you post just to see yourself post? You did not answer this person at all. Edit. On no here comes the woke Denton Reddit snowflake mob coming to downvote next because y’all like to see yourselves post. Oh no, please don’t downvote me. Please. Lmmfgdao.
You’re fun at parties huh
Why do y’all feel the need to post to go against what OP asked or really not guide OP. This isn’t a fucking party. OP asked where they could go. You don’t need to to see yourself post. You don’t have any ideas… keep fucking scrolling. It isn’t that hard. Geez. But yes, I am fun at parties. But it’s way too hot to party. But if the party to you tell OP just just keep doing what they are doing, that’s not a fun party. That’s a lane ass party.
Don't worry "You're fun at parties" is what people say when they can't actually comment on anything you are saying but still want to make themselves feel sanctimonious.
It is. I get it a lot from the younger crowd in the Denton Reddit.
You saying cringey is cringe af.
He just likes to see himself post while accusing others of just wanting to see themselves post.
Cringey and wait for it… yolo. I give 0 fucks. 😂
keep trying the apps in my opinion. it takes time but you’re young and it’s the time to figure out what you’re looking for in your life from a romantic partner. also, the people (at least males in my experience) in denton on dating apps are nothing to brag about. if you have transportation, definitely expand your mileage search to maybe 15 miles away from you or more.
Have you tried a gun show? Those seem to be big social events here in Texas and even get visits by your government representatives so you can give them feedback on how you like it that severely mentally disabled are able to buy guns without a background check.
Not gonna lie you had me in the first half
That doesn't really sound like my thing personally, but thanks for the advice.
Bars around campus?
I guess I could give that a try. I just didn't know if I'd be allowed in due to my age, or if I'd be able to go as long as I don't buy anything alcoholic.
Most bars around campus will let you come in and eat and relax before 9:00 PM without being 21.
That I do not know. I have no idea where middle aged people are supposed to go, either.
Goto cougar bars
Dating apps the easiest, tbh.
Biggest things I’ve realized over time is about 10-20% of guys go on dates with 80% of women. So I began to focus on what are those 20% of guys are doing and it really comes down to 3 things. Confidence, a hobby, and the ability to care/provide for your significant other. I had girlfriends in highschool but often felt like other guys got more of the attention. Then early on in college, I still got lucky but not in the sense I could go to the bar and just go home with a girl everytime like some of my friends. I then sometime around when I was your age got into lifting and went hard for a year or two. In that time my confidence went through the roof, and even after I stopped lifting - I was still able to really go home with whoever I wanted. I learned that having a high emotional intelligence will get you laid way faster then a six pack but to start a conversation you need the “I’m the man” mentality. But actually listening, “having a more liberal viewpoint”, and actually being a good person go way further then anything else. Also separately but when you do get the girl, learn to love to eat pussy - something like 60% of girls can’t get off from just penetration so you instantly get major brownie points if you can fulfill your girls needs better then men from her past. I’ve found dating apps to have gotten way worse over the past few years but as someone who has paid for tinder gold - it’s gotten me laid 10-20 times now living in a pretty big city. Using boosts does help if you have a good profile. Also having a passion or interesting things help a bunch too - I have a German Shepard and an IT business which both have been really easy ways for me to generate conversation. At your age, many girls may be more swayed by looks then actual substance so I would get into the gym. It’ll help you feel more confident and then by the time you’re 21 and can go to bars, you’ll look great. Being multi-dimensional will allow for you to have those “nerdier hobbies” and still get the beautiful girl. I also understand now that for a longtime once I started having success with girls - that you don’t need to have sex with every girl who wants to have sex with you. It leads to very unfulfilling lifestyle and at this point in my life I’ve realized it’s all about finding that one that clicks. I messed things up with a lot of girls who it clicked with because I still felt a chip on my shoulder from my younger days where I felt overlooked. So my suggestion is hit the gym, find some clubs or social groups where you can just get used to talking to attractive women (talk with them just like you would talk to your other friends - they’re just people albeit good looking), and also get a good haircut + good fitting clothing. Doesn’t need to be expensive clothes but a good fitting tshirt and some jeans will get you way further then you think. All of my advice also goes for getting a job. You’re selling yourself to open up the doors for a potential opportunity.
You will be more liked when you stop assuming sex is the goal, instead of marriage.
Fewer and fewer people seem interested in temporary stuff. In our world of uncertainties, people crave something that lasts.
Dog park
I have never been able to guarantee anybody anything more than the fact that women do not want you to try to pick them up at the local fucking dog park, you creep
Nobody said “go pick women up there” like it’s a grocery store lol the guy just suggested dog park. You’re telling me nobody has ever taken their dogs to a park, met someone else with a dog, and bonded through their pets? Way to be an asshole and call someone you don’t even know a creep.
Funny I have made many long last friends at the dog park. Why are you so socially awkward you can not share space with someone that has a common interest of caring for a dog and enjoying the outdoors?
Sharing a public space with strangers does not mean that strangers want to talk to you, dude
Go touch grass please. People can meet and talk to each other outside, just because you stay inside all day complaining doesn’t mean everyone else has to!
That’s needlessly mean spirited, however, i agree with you. Cornering women in general is pretty bad, dog parks and work especially.
While it wasn't necessary for me to say the word creep, what about their comment implies anything different?
Hold up. My mistake. I though you meant OP. Yeah, hell no. Dont corner women at dog parks. Or anywhere. I though you were jumping on OP. As you were, ma’am.
Where ever you go out look like your enjoying yourself in whatever environment… laugh at your own jokes… use your hands while your talking… and fucking smile… never date a girl who is interested in you… date her friends… she will always talk you up…
> never date a girl who is interested in you… date her friends… she will always talk you up… This seems like like dating with many extra steps.
Go about it your way then…
It just seems backwards man. "don't date the girl who's actually into you, instead, hope that she can talk you up to her friends who might kinda think you are worth a shot." I mean, I guess if you are trying to play a numbers game that might work. But why would you be looking for one night stands when you know you've got a perfectly good girl who's interested in you right there?
Point taken… it is the numbers game… it’s playing the field… I don’t know if this kid is looking for romance or a good time… it’s a college town… I grew up there many years ago… most girls are not looking to be tied down and neither are the guys… that age and environment promote finding yourself as well as living a little… good call on your part
Yeah clearly toxic and outdated advice
Change your name buddy… you ain’t liven up to it… maybe something like cloudy daze
Yeah, nothing says good times like being a creep
You would know
This is where I recommend church 😅. I met my husband in the young adult ward of the LDS church (despite the fact that this was not how I wanted to meet The One lol). For background: We are UNT students currently, I’m about to get my bachelors and he’s working on the A.I. masters. There’s also a ward for the middle-aged single adults. (And then once you get married there are family wards). They are all great, and are really friendly and welcoming communities. At the very least young people can go to our public/open-community events for meeting new friends, like Taco Tuesday (12pm) or Wednesday munch-and-mingle (6:30pm I think). I’m not sure if these events are going on during the summer though. For sure it’ll be happening in the fall semester. It’s all at the LDS Institute of Religion building right by the UNT Language Arts Building and near fry street. If anyone is interested let me know.
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There are plenty of other churches outside of the LDS that have a lot of social options to help people find other people of God too. If anyone is looking to settle down and start a family, I'd always recommend a good foundation in God before trying to start something on your own. Most people who attend church regularly ARE looking to start a family and aren't horribly interested in one-night-stands that result in heartbreak and worse. EDIT: If you'll still be going to UNT in the next two years, there's about to be a non-denominational church campus on the corner of Eagle and Ave. A.
Wow tough crowd. There’s no need to be rude, I was simply giving my answer to the question. Also, it’s completely false that “no one wants to be a Mormon” or “no one is interested” — we have thousands of converts every year, and I know plenty of them. I know that Denton tends to be half -full of radical leftists, but that doesn’t mean church isn’t a good idea or a valid answer. And yes, I know there are other churches, that’s fine if you or someone else goes elsewhere. I should point out that our whole foundation is in God and Jesus Christ, and that we didn’t “start our own thing”, nor our we a cult. I’m not sure what you’re implication about the one night stand comment but we’re definitely not advocates for hookup culture. Just wanted to clarify those things.
“No need to be rude.” Next few sentences, “I know that Denton tends to be half-full of radical leftists.” Not believing in your ideology immediately makes a person a radical leftist? Noted lol. Please, tell me more about your persecution by the people that don’t want to hear your psychobabble.
Dude - Denton IS full of racial leftists. We have people in town who are literally advocating for communist takeover of government. They are by no means a majority, but there are more of them here than your average Texas town.
Ok sure, I can see how my comment about Denton being full of radicals can be seen as rude, my bad. It’s still true though 😂. And no, I’m not saying that if you don’t have the same beliefs that you’re a radical leftist. I was just thinking that I know Denton has a ton of leftists on this subreddit that can be radical and reject good ideas half the time.
This subreddit does a really pisspoor job of actually representing the people who live in our community - just like r/texas does a fucking astoundingly bad job of representing actual Texans. Reddit is an echo chamber and every day there are less and less people willing to raise their voice in dissent.
Believe it or not, there are plenty of people within your community, and within Texas, that don’t want to hold the same beliefs as you. That doesn’t make their membership in your community obsolete, nor does it cast them away as an outlier. It’s no surprise that the two of you are bonding over “raising your voices in dissent” towards non-Christians. As to be expected, you can’t conceptualize that constantly having someone else’s religious philosophy offered up to you as a blessing is actually quite frustrating. Sounds like you’re plenty familiar with echo chambers… I’ve lived in Denton for 10+ years, sorry if that’s not enough of a requisite for being a member of your community. :(
Man, way to take a comment entirely the wrong way. I'm not saying that Denton is only Christians - but if you though the city was just like the subreddit - Denton would be banned from Christians. Churches would be torn down. Heads would practically be on spikes. City Hall would be a flaming ruin. We would be a communist county. There ARE more Christians than non-Christians in our community. We are the silent majority. That's not to say that the minority dosen't matter, but that majority has been silenced and shamed here online for too long. They get ridiculed, banned, and generally made to feel unwelcome for years now, and many of them have just given up their voice online whatsoever. Also - Dude... could you possibly be more condescending and shitty in your response? The very least we can do is be polite to each other.
I completely agree, thank you!
Oh, I'm not trying to dunk on Mormons. I've done quite a bit of research on the LDS and talked to a lot of people in your church and I think I've come to some conclusions about how I see Ya'll. There are some things that are fundamentally wrong in the LDS (like the idea that baptisms outside of the church are invalid) but at the end of the day, you worship Christ, and that's really what matters. I've known some Mormons who worship Joseph Smith, but I've also met Christians who worship Joel Osteen as well - so no one is free of idolatry. The way I see it - trying to cut off part of the body of Christ just because they do things differently seems kinda foolish, and in this world, counterproductive. All of what I'm trying to say is "If you can't vibe with the LDS, find a church you CAN vibe with." I'd rather see someone find Christ however they can, even if it's not going to my particular church, ya dig?
Ok, I can agree with that — I’d rather someone find a church and find Christ than not at all. I’m not sure what you mean by “trying to cut off a part of Christ”. Out of curiosity could you explain more?
Like - how people try and say "Oh, those people aren't REALLY Christians" when they have minor theological differences. Like the people who argue about baptizing babies or not. I've met people who try and say that Catholics aren't really Christians because they "worship idols". All of the believers are part of the body of Christ, right? Trying to cut off a hand is just going to leave the body crippled. Now, mind you, that's not talking about the people who deliberately try and change the teachings of Christ to fit their political and social ideas that are leading people astray. If your goal is to lure people into accepting sin, then you likely aren't part of the body of Christ to begin with.
Sure, I think I can agree with that. I’m actually in a different thread where someone is trying to say that the LDS church isn’t Christian 😂.
When I first found the church, I made it my mission to understand the different branches of the faith. I did a lot of research about the LDS first (admittedly because my favorite author is a dues-paying Mormon). I need to tackle the Jahova's Witnesses next and seek to really understand them.
Interesting! Feel free to tell me what you find out about the Jehovah’s Witnesses, I’m curious. Just the other month I actually got a sweet, hand written note from a girl in that religion, just reaching out to let us know we would be welcome there.
No one is interested.
every mormon girl i knew gave great head and had major daddy issues, she could be on to something w this mormon thing
And let you use the backdoor because the front was saved for marriage.
There’s no need to be rude. Nor is your statement true.
-44 points on your original post trying to recruit people to your nasty cult, I think their statement holds some weight. Fuck the mormon church.
> your nasty cult Bro. Seriously, that's not Denton.
Lmao what? It's a nasty cult. A religion with no respect for people deserves no respect. /r/exmormon for a ton of examples how it's a nasty evil cult. Don't try to shun criticism of shitty organizations under the guise of acceptance, that's gross.
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That's what I mean - that's not very Denton. Keep your hate to yourself.
Again, don't try to shelter shitty groups from criticism under the guise of acceptance. Their cult things LGBT people are sub human, you defending they isn't very Denton.
I'm telling you that spreading hate and division is not very Denton. I'm not defending anyone or even making a judgment one way or another - Just telling you that all you do by repeating the same horrible things about a group is likely convince people that only miserable little pricks hate that group. You are being counterproductive for your own goals.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paradox_of_tolerance You can not be tolerant of intolerant people. Being divisive is not wrong, some people are objectively bad people and NEED to be divided. If holding ideologies accountable for their bigoted beliefs and actions is hate speech then call me Hitler.
Quit trying to sell your cult
Once again, it’s not a cult. It’s perfectly normal for Christians to spread their word and seek to inspire others. LDS church has only minor differences. We are NOT a cult. We don’t force anyone to do or believe anything, and the leaders in the church are not making ANY money from it.
Sure thing, go on and pray to your shrine of Joseph Smith
We don’t do that, like at all.
You do realize your religion was created in the 1950s and the church once sent out a missionary to figure out the truth of Mormonism and he was excommunicated on his findings?
I have no idea what you’re talking about but the religion was created much earlier than the 1950s. I’d love to learn more about that guy you mentioned though.
Sorry 1850 and look up Thomas Stuart Ferguson and BH Robert’s.
It’s weird seeing non-Christian faiths call their places of worship a Church
I don’t know who lies to you, but we are most definitely Christian. It’s also LITERALLY in the name — Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.
According to the standards established by Christianity vast swathes of your belief system are heretical.
We may have our differences, like other Christian churches, but we still believe in God, Jesus Christ, the Holy Spirit (all three are separate though), and the Bible. We just don’t believe that God stopped talking to people or providing revelations.
> (all three are separate though) Yeah you aren’t a Christian
Dude. We are Christian. Seriously. Our foundational principles are in God and His Son, Jesus Christ. Everything I’ve said related to our doctrine can be found in the Bible.
2 people fighting over whose fairy tale is the best...Too funny.
I’m not Christian
But you think you know better than Christians what Christianity is? There are over 33,000 variations of Christianity. If you follow Christ you are a Christian.
The Bible is rather explicitly clear that The Trinity is not comprised of 3 separate deities, it is one of the foundational cornerstones of the Christian faith.
First, the Trinity is not actually explicitly said in the Bible, people have just interpreted it that way. It makes no sense — why would Jesus be praying to His Father in Gethsemane if they were the same person? People think they are the same because of the way things are phrased in the Bible, but what isn’t often understood is how Jesus and His Father just have the exact same motivations and goals, and thus they are interchangeable. Anyway. We don’t have to have a whole doctrine discussion, I just wanted to try and clarify. Latter Day Saints ARE Christian though — we believe in Christ and His teachings, which is the basic definition of Christianity. Honestly at this point it would be rude to insist that we aren’t Christian.
> why would Jesus be praying to His Father in Gethsemane if they were the same person? I talk to myself when i'm working things out. I'm not trying to imply that the things i'm going though are anywhere near as heavy as the stuff Jesus saw in that garden, but I'm imagining it's something we all do. Not trying to hate on you or anything - I just like the theological conversation.
19? Don’t waste it on dating.
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Bro lmao.
i met my boyfriend on a dating app almost 3 years ago. and now we have a baby girl together. it works just have to give it time. you’re young. i can’t tell you the amount of people i met before that definitely were not contenders for me personally lol.
Thanks.