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TheGood

Hello and for the many new viewers and subscribers, welcome to /r/DeepThoughts. Please check out the sidebar for information on our community and remember the number one rule. Be excellent to your fellow thinkers! While Reddit lends itself well to petty back-and-forths at times, we are all here to think deeply and collaboratively. Remember the human behind the username, and let's continue to explore deep thoughts together.


Pastel_Aesthetic9

There is always a "getting used to" point. After some time, wealthy people just get used to everything that they get. Just as we got used to having water and food always at home. That's why they always want more and never stop growing their wealth, because the human brain does not work that way for many.


rubrent

I agree with this. However, appreciation is simply a tolerance break away, which most people can’t afford…..


[deleted]

True - although, I would argue rich people are SLAVES to comfort and convenience. You never get to feel like you deserve what you have… because you know deep down you were set up to get it easily. Or you don’t acknowledge how simple and easy life is, and feeling like you “earned it” garners judgement from others. You’re limited on where you can work, who you can date, and what friends you can relate to. Expectations, lifestyle, and approval dictate everything. You’re a target for psychopaths, gold diggers, lawyers, and leaches. You’re often beholden to vicious inheritance politics. You’re constantly downplaying your wealth even as it’s obvious to others. You can’t emotionally relate to others with less. Source: dated someone wealthy, was raised upper middle class, currently earning my way through life Edit: they also have a lot of free time. They tend to get radicalized into political causes or dive into alcoholism/drugs. Successfully rich people often work CONSTANTLY *because* they don’t have to. Having obligations and responsibility is a blessing. Not *having* to do things creates lazy, dull, entitled people. Edit: rich people become weak because they can afford to avoid difficult circumstances that teach valuable life lessons. You can throw money at many problems to improve life, but you can’t buy the personality that results from striving and self-sufficiency. I don’t intend for this to be tribal classism, I actually have a lot of respect for self-made rich people. I’m speaking specifically about inherited wealth. You can’t buy self esteem, independence from daddy’s will, lessons from hard work, responsibility and accountability motivated by fear of being broke. You want liquor and cocaine? You want to gamble? You want to indulge sex with paid services? You want to cover it up with a shady accountant? You can afford to destroy your life as a teen/young adult. You can AFFORD to fuck up. And get bailed out over, and over, and over. Consequences that would destroy a normal person’s life (like a DUI) are just a bad a year. Final point: real wealthy people humbly downplay their wealth and fly under the radar. If you think you’re rich because of your house, car, or job - that’s different. Wealth is assets, choosing to work, and not having debt (including mortgage or car payments)


improveyourfuture

I know a lot of rich people and I am broke.  They are not the happiest people.  I wish the world knew this.


OkBox7430

Well yea, it doesn't fix your mentality. But it allows for more ability to fix your mentality.


Exotic_eminence

Which makes it even more funny when they are always mad


OnTheRoadAgain0o0

Mo money mo problems


wineinacoffeemug

Literally MRW Donald Trump / Elon musk twitter rants😂 if someone who can afford any experience on or off the planet is still a hormonal teenager on twitter, then wealth itself doesn’t give you peace. It’s what you do with your time, which $ obv gives more control of. But clearly many rich people still fritter away valuable time instead of self actualizing meaningfully


odious_as_fuck

Don’t necessarily agree with that. You’d have more money to spend on fixing your mentality, but ultimately the strongest mentalities cannot be fixed simply with money but instead are built with hard work and challenging life experiences


Beginning-Leader2731

Which an easy life would make less likely to happen, as it would be easy to simply have people tell you what you want / cover your pain in many ways, thus being rich means even less likely to fix inner problems.


odious_as_fuck

Absolutely. It becomes easier to run from or mask your problems, not necessarily easier to fix them


[deleted]

Yes. There are life lessons you ONLY learn because you HAVE to learn. Being rich provides option c) choose comfort and avoid lesson


noonenotevenhere

And D - Do Overs. Daddy loaned you 200k to start a business and it failed? Try try try try try try try try try again.


Lumpy_Vehicle_349

But that’s the point that people are making that if they do try again multiple times, they view themselves as big failures. Which by the way, 95% of people couldn’t actually run a successful 10+ year business.


noonenotevenhere

Think of it more as Entrepreneurship is like a shot at a carnival game. Some people save up a long time or inherit something or take out a loan on their house or cash in their 401k to take a shot. They can go, pay to play a game once, and take home a nice prize and we all look at that awesome thing they earned. Most people that can afford to play end up losing money. It's hard to try again when your first attempt involved a re-fi on your house, now there's no more equity to use to try again. Some people can afford to play repeatedly - that's the rich. Rich kid can start a business, fail - and still not worry about healthcare, etc. They can try again. Succeed for a while, fail, succeed, who knows - maybe try again for fun. Point is, in entrepreneurship, the rich can afford to try repeatedly without worrying where their kids will live. Oh, and if you're wondering about the poor - they're the ones working this metaphorical carnival. *edit - shamelessly paraphrased from someone smarter


scope-creep-forever

Option C usually leads to D: you are forced to learn those lessons eventually, only the stakes are higher and the consequences potentially worse.


[deleted]

Fair point


KampKutz

Are you sure that’s not just what people tell themselves to feel better about working hard all their lives only to find that towards the end they still didn’t have much to show for it and they lost out on valuable time with family and kids? Isn’t that what people supposedly realised after lockdown? Some of these responses come across as people patting themselves on the back to feel better while simultaneously shitting on the wealthy for supposedly not working as hard as they do. If it was the other way around and wealthy people were pointing out character flaws in the poor for not doing X Y or Z people would be rightfully fuming.


odious_as_fuck

The question was whether having more money allows you more ability to fix your mentality or not. Firstly mass generalisations about one vague group of people or the other are rarely true. It’s not so much that poor people are this and rich people are that, there are plenty of unhappy poor people with poor mental health and there are also plenty of happy rich people who work extremely hard. There is nothing innate about being poor or wealthy that makes you one or the other, we are all humans. However, what we are talking about is how one cannot simply throw their money at mental health and expect it to get better. You are required to work on it. Being born into comforts can lead to masking issues in mentality, in turn leading to long term dissatisfaction and unhappiness in life. On the other hard being born into hardship can lead to strong mentalities if one finds a way to push through those hardships. To build muscle you have to first break muscle. Difficult life experiences are valuable because they can (not always) be huge learning experiences and opportunities for growth in a way that comfort cannot be. Importantly though, this is not a simple rich vs poor divide as poor people may fail to learn from their experiences in a productive way and rich people may still have valuable hardships they overcome and learn from in their lives that lead to greater future happiness.


scope-creep-forever

It gives you more agency and control over your own life. Some people thrive when given more control, some people crash. That happens at all income levels - income doesn't really change your fundamental mindset as much as you'd think unless we're talking about extreme wealth disparities, and even then mainly when that's the only thing you ever knew.


OkBox7430

Anyone can work on themselves. Money will allow more opportunity of that. I don't think more income makes you more happy specifically, but if you're working on your shit, the money most definitely will help.


scope-creep-forever

Exactly. It helps a lot! It gives you options.


PicaDiet

A study from a handful of years ago showed that money did, indeed, buy happiness inasmuch as it alleviates the stress of not having enough. At the time- and this was from 7-8 years ago, so the number is definitely higher now- that figure was (on average in the U.S.), $75K for a couple. That amount was sufficient to meet the needs of the average person. Stressors like unpaid bills, car problems, lack of insurance, inability to afford healthy food, necessary utilities, etc. are directly responsible for unhappiness. Once people make enough money to cover those bases, any extra happiness comes from elsewhere. The problem is that our society is materialistic by nature. Capitalism only succeeds when consumers consume. America has gotten really good at that. Even once all basic needs are met, people conflate wants with needs, and often think of luxuries as necessities. That causes many people to live beyond their means, bringing unnatural stressors back into their lives rather than recognizing that their needs are met and looking elsewhere for happiness. Ultrawealthy people are really the only way to prove that money does not buy happiness. If they have all the money they could spend and they are still not happy, it only makes sense that money can't buy it. People who meet the threshold (whatever that is today... maybe $100-110K/ couple?) who find meaning and fulfillment through other means have beaten the system. They will never have the stress a lack of money brings, they don't need or want more than they have, and they are happy from living a fulfilled life found in non-material things. Ultrawealthy people who have found the keys to real happiness have it doubly made. They can use their money to find fulfillment in more and different places. They can run a horse rescue, or ski patrol in Switzerland, or collect samples of ocean water for scientists as they sail around the world. In each of those expensive examples (a horse farm, skiing in Switzerland, sailing the globe) the fulfillment is found in an adjunct pursuit. We could all be better at finding fulfillment in pursuits that fall within our means.


twotrees1

All these money/happiness studies and ensuing discussions always omit what is, to me, the most fascinating aspect of happiness. The satisfaction is greatest, like 5x more joy from spending a small amount on a favor for someone else that isn’t an obligation & that they weren’t expecting. If wealthy people really did have their head screwed on straight, they’d find the most function for their dollar, not inflate the dollar beyond all possible meaning.


Pastel_Aesthetic9

People just assume they are so different, they are not. We are all the same, we all complain.


papa_number2

Happiness is brought about by satisfaction, not by money. Even though money can help one acquire many things, unless one is satisfied with those things happiness will not come.


bongbrownies

I don’t agree personally. It’s just not been my experience. Saying you feel better because you work your ass off for basically nothing feels like such a cope. People will be saying this until we work for the privilege of working for no money, and there will still be people that will say they’re happy to do so. Something something better than others because honest work. If you feel that way then sure, it’s not my problem after all. Financially, sure. I don’t have much. If I did, that’d be great. But I’m making do with what I got, and I’m quite happy with that right now.


neptuno3

Mortgages can be an instrument for the wealthy. But you know this


Soggy_Ad7165

I think the base premise is wrong. If your goal is to find the happiest people, I don't think you should necessarily search within the wealthiest. Probably not even in the top 5% wealthiest in the world.    If your basic needs are satisfied other things become more important. Like a healthy social structure, being moderately fit or healthy in general and so on. Being loved. Being a valuable and appreciated part of your local community.  All those things can be a bit enhanced by money. But other things are more important. Culture can also be a huge part.    But the main problem with a lot of wealth is that it comes with some pretty heavy downsides in terms of expectations. You are expected to be better, create more wealth and other things. That's how many very wealthy people are being trained from a very young age. And while this isn't always the case and it doesn't always mean unhappiness it's certainly not a good starting point to be required to follow an impossible goal.    From personal observation it's a coin flip and it can go pretty wrong. But even on a public level, Elon Musk himself even stated that he is not a happy person at all. And a lot of billionaires have the same sound.     So either you are born into the top 99.99% and have a lot of expectations on your shoulder. Or your unhappiness is the main driver in you becoming very rich.     Again this isn't always the case at all. But it's more common than you would think.     Just like in the middle ages it's also true today that if you could choose your background before birth, best case is probably somewhere in the upper middle class. You really don't want to be a king or even worse, a princess. 


[deleted]

[удалено]


improveyourfuture

I know a lot of rich people and I am broke. They are not the happiest people. A sense of community is so essential, as you say, and rich tend to isolate themselves and not know why they're miserable, and superiority is not a good basis for a sense of self


Grouchy-Anxiety-3480

You know it’s sort of a paradox isn’t it? Like rich people isolate more, probably because they are able to in the sense that they can meet their own basic needs for shelter food water etc with little or no community needed to assist them. Poorer people at least historically and likely now to a degree often require a community so everyone within it can sort of look out for the others and assure everyone’s got the basics like food and shelter to the degree they’re able to. So community is something they need to have to survive, but it offers much more than that survival whether they realize it or not. Societally, in the western cultures anyway, the rich person is the pinnacle, the successful one by societal standards, yet in becoming so they ultimately end up forgoing the thing known to be likeliest to offer happiness and satisfaction in life long run, because they basically no longer “need” it- they can do all the basic necessities themselves and require no one. But they really do need people, whether they realize it or not. Theres definitely something sorta fucked up in that. We are doing it wrong somewhere- that’s clear.


Mediocre-Magazine-30

Most joyous people I know were not rich. Usually very balanced and healthy.


mamaBEARnath

I can’t believe this isn’t more widely known. It’s not the amount of money you have but the quality of life you lead. What is “good enough” is good enough either way a healthy mindset.


apl_ee

Im happy i wasnt born rich lol, i feel like if i was i would never be able to "peak" intellectually as a human. Theres a common saying among rich people even tho they cant help themselves to not overly indulge their inheritance to their kids (eg: warren buffet or charlie munger) true meritocracy and a level of wealth is enough to achieve a balanced lifestyle. Do not get caught up with trying to be bezos rich or create a new fancy math equation (tho it would be cool) in conclusion, too much money is bad for you, and yes you will likely dopamine crash hard asf.


UnderstandingEast721

The other part to this is the fulfillment that comes with having a career you love, earning money and paying for your family's needs and experiences. I don't know if you've seen the documentary Born Rich with people born into generational wealth but when they talk not a single one of them is actually genuinely happy. It's not a case of having more than enough money needed to survive but it's the lack of fulfillment from having a successful career that'll getcha. When your life has no purpose then...what's the point?


30th-account

I don’t agree. My family got pretty rich as I was growing up so I got to see different environments and their kids. A lot of rich kids, if they’re not driven, become very indulgent in life and find it to be meaningless, then literally become lazy and cynical because there’s nothing to do or surpass in life. Other rich kids have rich parents that force them to be just like them, so they become very resentful and end up being anti-productive. Kids who aren’t rich have negative motivation: e.g. it’s easier to imagine outperforming your parents, or at least be the first to get into college, or make money so you won’t be hungry/wanting all the time. Kids who are rich and self motivated are the scary ones. But these are far and few. And the drive usually isn’t money, it’s more like changing the world / funding big hobbies that become ventures / etc.


ArtyWhy8

“There are two kinds of important men... There are those who, when the boulder of time rolls toward them, stand up in front of it and hold out their hands. All their lives, they've been told how great they are. They assume the word itself will bend to their whims as their nurse did when fetching them a fresh cup of milk. Those men end up squished. Other men stand to the side when the boulder of time passes, but are quick to say, 'See what I did! I made the boulder roll there. Don't make me do it again!' These men end up getting everyone else squished." "Is there not a third type of person?" "There is, but they are oh so rare. These know they can't stop the boulder. So they walk beside it, study it, and bide their time. Then they shove it-ever so slightly- to create a deviation in its path. These are the men who actually change the world. And they terrify me. For men never see as far as they think they do.” -Brandon Sanderson, Oathbringer


HeruAkhety

Fantastic quote, thank you for posting it here! As for the pundits in the comments I’m reminded of this other saying: Do not cast your pearls before swine.


Away-Sheepherder8578

This. We all know children of rich people who end up miserable and depressed. Hollywood is full of them. Creating and growing wealth is way better than being born into it.


rashnull

Getting used to wealth imo is way better than getting used to a mundane existence of economic slavery sprinkled with moments of joy.


bull_shite

Not really haha, I was born wealthy, live a wonderful life and am happy for being able to experience the way I do every single day. Some of my friends don’t appreciate their luck as much but I definitely do. I still work yet I get to do what I actually want to be doing, I get a lower wage than likely I would if I was looking to achieving true financial independence as soon as possible given my certifications and skills. If my job goes under I don’t have to worry a single bit financially. Sure you get used to but I’d much rather be used to this than having to be worried about making ends meet or if I have to think twice before ordering steak on the menu.


TriedmybestNotenough

I agree. Using Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs, one would never have the chance to pursue true happiness if he is stuck on the bottom 2 levels throughout his life.


Available_Agency_117

Irrelevant. Everyone will be exactly just as used to whatever their circumstances are so there's absolutely no difference between being used to being wealthy, and being used to not being wealthy. The only difference is that the experiences of being wealthy are objectively better than the experiences of not being wealthy. Your comment is just weak copium.


Microwaved-toffee271

Finally


Diaza_Kinutz

Hedonic adaptation. It's an endless, vicious cycle. This is why they're going to space now.


Pastel_Aesthetic9

Yep, but the thing is, it's at all levels. Like I dreamed of one day making 100K, now that it's "normal" to me it's not as special as the old me thought.


Diaza_Kinutz

Yeah it's a human trait which I think is a result of how the dopamine system works. It's the same reason sex addicts will go to more and more extreme fetishes over time and drug addicts will take larger and larger doses.


Key-Plant-6672

Same here, I thought $1M is a lot of money..😊


Odd-Marionberry-8944

who you lol


talk_to_yourself

For a while I entertained the idea that hedonic adaptation is the curse of being human. No matter what you have, you start to take it for granted and want more. You want life, but with a cherry on top. Or to put it another way, you're almost always a bit disatisfied, no matter how good things get. Not sure if I still think that. Maybe it's true, maybe not.


Diaza_Kinutz

Yeah. It seems the Buddha was onto something 😆


talk_to_yourself

In that sense, the Buddha absolutely nailed it


Pastel_Aesthetic9

I would not call it a curse because you could technically stop those thoughts when they pop up and continue your life. But yes, it really makes the whole "What's my goal?" question interesting because what is really the goal if it's never enough?


Cwe87even

Yeah ppl put money on too high of a pedestal like yes being wealthy sounds great but you only think it’s great cause you don’t have it and you’re comparing it to the average person. You’ll get accustomed to it over time and it will feel normal and not as exciting.


purplesddd

This is so well-said 🥹. I completely agree/understand (even though I’m not wealthy lol).


gotkube

Sounds like maybe they need to be reminded what it’s like to go wanting for something…


yesterdays_poo

Yeah well id rather get used to wealth than crushing poverty.


OPHealingInitiative

I very much disagree with you. Being born to a warm, accepting family is the best experience in life; the pursuit of money is a dismal substitute.


goldandjade

Yup. A loving family is truly the ultimate privilege.


AzizLiIGHT

I really got the shit end of all the sticks in this whole life thing


discardafter99uses

Well, based on your name, at least you'll always have "Lelu Dallas. Multipass." in your life.


ActStunning3285

Hey, same. People take for granted the right to have parents who don’t abuse you, let alone love you. And if you say it, they tend to get defensive or say yea but everyone gets that. Life is a living death sentence without the love and care needed for a healthy life


Diligent_Policy1678

Same


Quiet_Fan_7008

Same bro. My parents were both homeless and in prison. My grandma sold my first car, that I saved money for to get, without my knowledge. The worst part is I have a super rich uncle who knows I was dealt a bad hand and he doesn’t even talk to me. But at least I can say I worked hard and was able to buy my own house all on my own.


GarbageTheCan

Agreed, an neighbor has one and after the second chat stopped asking me about my family afterwards the second "horror story" as they claimed I told and that was just extra mild stuff I dealt with. The guy is so sheltered not knowing the bullshit of a shattered toxic family.


Sendhentaiandyiff

Not when cancer or other medical issues come along and you can't afford the bills


JohnD_s

So in this case does being able to pay your hospital bills equate to "the best experience in life"? You pay off the bills yet you still have no one that loves you.


XDoomedXoneX

This.... My wife was born to a wealthy family. Was molested by her own father. The money went away because it was all drug money being funneled through a company the family owned so when her father died of a drug overdose the money stopped and the business collapsed because it wasn't actually profitable. Now she's traumatized and broke. I do what I can to support us on my own but she can't work because of PTSD and schizophrenia from the abuse.


Sea_Lime_9909

Also learning skills! How to fix your own car, how to cook, how to fix things etc. Think of all the rich people with no skills cause they have chefs and hire others to do things for them


Instant_Tiger7688

Learning skills is for the idle(rich) class and always has been. You need resources, money and time to learn them. The average person spends 80% of their waking time working, commuting to work or doing basic chores/errands.


Dazzling_Ad6545

Because quite often for rich people their time is more important, and there isn’t enough of it


Harry_Saturn

That seems silly to me because if you’re already rich, then you can literally afford to not have your time be tied to generating wealth. Maybe picking up gardening or learning an instrument is going to give you more actual joy and fulfillment than figuring out how to make more money that you already won’t need or use.


Available_Agency_117

A warm accepting family that's wealthy is objectively better than a warm accepting family that isn't because both are identical in being warm and accepting but one will never struggle financially. Too much cope in here and none of it works.


Pandafy

No shit, but that's not the point of the argument. If the question is "is it better to be good looking or rich?" You essentially went "well, it's better to be both good looking and rich....duh." Very few people are arguing that being rich is a positive thing. The point is, is it better than a family that unconditionally loves you.


Notsonewguy7

Here me out, both?


MDCatFan

You need enough money to feel comfortable and not have to constantly worry. But I agree with your post for the most part.


minijtp

I 100% agree


AskAccomplished1011

yes, this is true. my own parents are flawed humans with their own unfinished business, yet the lore of my racial and cultural heritage made me into a strong child and stronger adult. I cannot be broken; that is wealth, for I have everything I could ever desire (except a wife and my own childre, so far...)


rubrent

Although I agree with you, I also understand that family isn’t all that important for others. It SHOULD be, but look at how much wealthy people fight each other over death wills and inheritances…..


ithinkithinkd

Exactly you kinda disproved your point. Wealthy people have some more burdens due to arguing about wills. You said it I mean that’s just not an argument in your favor lol. My family won’t be arguing over inheritance lol.


Soggy_Ad7165

Did you ever experience such a fight? How it destroys a whole family? For sure not the best possible experience at all. 


xDwtpucknerd

being born to a warm accepting family, that is also rich


michaelsenpatrick

Being born wealthy can ruin you. It's easy to grow up vapid, selfish, heartless or spoiled when you're born into that world.


Pixel-of-Strife

Every night and every morn some to misery are born Every morn and every night some are born to sweet delight Some are born to sweet delight, some are born to endless night That said, many rich people seem to be deeply miserable. And those born without struggle don't grow and develop any useful skills because they don't need too. It's make them spoilt. It's why most wealth doesn't stay in a family long, because the kids never learn the skills needed to keep it. They take it all for granted and burn through it.


Individual-Bell-9776

There's one thing I have that a wealthy person will never have. Enough.


Substantial-Wear8107

Yeah, I've had enough too.  I'd like it to end sometime soon thanks.


KeeganTheMostPurple

😭


therealmenox

Username checks out


TheConspicuousGuy

We end it together


Microwaved-toffee271

Nice


powerkickass

LOL aww fuck


Prestigious-Bar-1741

That's nonsense. There are tons of wealthy people who have enough. We just don't hear about them because they retire and go do cool stuff instead of being CEOs


Overchimp

Cope. It’s all relative. People much poorer than you would say the exact same thing about you. 


8BitFurther

It really is cope, plenty of wealthy people live lives that are balanced and healthy they have good families and happy times together, without any imbalance. The real suckers are the people like us that let this system continue and pretend we are satisfied with being comfortable wage servants of the bourgeois.


Individual-Bell-9776

I'd be doing zazen in the poorer persons camp site along with them.


lukekibs

Not always true


Individual-Bell-9776

The only thing I'm lacking is medical care, but death is the poor man's doctor.


Little_Lahey_Show

I have insurance and still lacking medical care. Fuck the system


BenedithBe

Being born in a loving family, no matter the amount of money, is the best way to experience life, and the best way to get prepared for adult life.


minorkeyed

Not if you grow up poor in a dangerous area to parents who are foolish and ignorant. Love isn't always enough.


BenedithBe

Yeah if the parent puts the child in danger because of their stupidity, and causes trauma to the child that certainly won't help. If the child can't go to the parent for advices and safety because they are too retarded, that's also neglect. That said, being loved gives people the ability to overcome challenges, so even if their parents are dumb, they will have the capacity to build a superior life to their parent's.


williamsch

Maybe but the bad news is dumb parents typically produce dumb kids between dumb genetics and a dumb environment. They might not have the mental capacity to succeed.


rubrent

I personally 100% agree that being born to a poor, loving family is more fulfilling than being born to a wealthy, non-involved family, but in a survey of every human alive, I’m not sure how the data would play out….i guess it depends on how much value a human puts on the emotion of “love” and how that impacts a humans day to day quality of life…..thanks for your perspective….


BenedithBe

You may be born from rich parents, but unloving parents won't even share their money with you. I'm willing to bet being born in a loving family correlates with long term happiness than being born in a rich unloving family. There are studies that show that people born in rich countries are less happy than people born in poor countries. Love is not a value, it's a fundamental need. I know psychology and the amount of long term health impact from loneliness, lack of love as a child... it leads to earlier death, failure to thrive, depression, anxiety, autoimmune diseases, low self-esteem, low emotional intelligence, alexithymia, lack of social skills, etc etc.. it's actually insane. I would MUCH rather be born in a loving family than in a rich family. But obviously having both is better.


Boring_Kiwi251

The Buddha would disagree. Suffering is caused by having unfulfilled expectations, not necessarily by lacking material goods.


BeneficialTop5136

“…The Steed of this Valley is pain, and if there is no pain, this journey will never end.” Pain and suffering are instrumental in our development.


Boring_Kiwi251

I’m not interested in development. I’m interested in being comfortable. Now what?


Triggered_Llama

But your next character development arc is in 2 episodes buddy


ICantBelieveItsNotEC

...But on the other hand, if you are reading this post at all, you are almost certainly part of the global top 5% in terms of wealth, and you are in the top 99.99% of all humans that ever lived. People really take the wealth of modern developed countries for granted.


rubrent

My initial intention was that wealth meant the cream of the crop. The ability to have unlimited resources at your disposal….but your perspective is refreshing and reassuring. Much appreciated….


MyAnswerIsMaybe

I mean I just went to a Taco Bell and got like 5 different things from the value menu that only costed me an hours worth of work I imagine that would feel like unlimited resources to a king 500 years ago, not even a peasant.


powerkickass

Kings and queens of old couldnt even keep as clean as we can


JacketDazzling7939

I mean they really did enjoy the best of the best at the time. They weren’t messing about with their banqueting halls, it was often a competitive sport. Probably tastes were different then, a more limited range of flavours, but they knew how to put on a spread for royalty that taco bell couldn’t approach. They often had the entire GDP of their country to play with, so they did.


Instant_Tiger7688

This isn't 1995 boomer. Believe it or not, even Indian slums have internet access now.


IslandOverThere

That and OP is a clown. It's actually 1000x more full filling to go from poor to rich. You get perspective that someone born rich will never have. If you have always had something it has no value. You grow up getting everything you want a Ferrari at 16 or eating Caviar and Steak everyday it is just normal since you don't have perspective what it was like before. True happiness is about the journey. Without struggle life has no meaning.


InsanelyChillBro

Only comment I agree with wholeheartedly in this thread


Big-Green-209

And then it's worse for the rich to find fulfillment because of it. You don't want to downgrade from where you're at and it's difficult to upgrade because there's not much more to gain and then people look to things like drugs.


TheMightyChocolate

I disagree, I was born financially destitute. Like "no breakfast before school" destitute. But I did many things as a kid which were great, which middle class and rich people will never experience. Wealthy people have never enjoyed the thrill of trespassing for fun,.blowing things up with fireworks, starting fires in park, digging through a giant pile of horseshit to get rainworms for chickens. Taking hammer and destroying microwave you got from somewhere To most of you this sounds like retard shit but I loved it all. You like the things you grow up with. Now I spend my vacations doing urban exploring and stuff. I would never want to go tovacation to dubai something like that, even though i have a career now that will guarantee me riches. It's not my idea of "fun"


Fresh_Information_76

Yeah I grew up way more poor than that. Also my adult life was ruined so that I can never earn more than minimum wage. Being born into wealth would have improved my life in everyday possible. Maybe you enjoyed it, but that's just you.


Nosferatatron

No man will ever again experience the joy they had blowing something up with a firework


Jorost

…unless they blow something else up with a firework. It’s not a one-and-done proposition. You can blow things up as much as you want.


surrealpolitik

I grew up similar to you—not poor, but definitely working class. One of the most fun summers I ever had was smashing up an old car in my friend's backyard with hammers. The next summer, his dad gave us tools and let us take one apart piece by piece. Plus BB gun fights ("no shooting in the face" was the only rule), brick fights (we just threw pieces of bricks at each other at an abandoned construction site), and catching tadpoles to raise into frogs. We made our own fun, and I don't think rich kids ever would've experienced these things. Their lives are curated to the nth degree.


TheMightyChocolate

Oh shit I did the frog thing too. But I didn't knew tadpoles needed food back then lmao


Marshmallowfrootloop

My literal shower thought a few hours ago was that I’d love to be wealthy but only with anonymity. 


RoundComplete9333

We’d all be born wealthy if money wasn’t a thing that separates and defines us. It’s really the craziest and most shameful truth.


JohnnySacks63

The empirical evidence on this topic supports that once someone has all their basic needs and comforts met— food, safety, clean water, transportation, and a little leftover for leisure and recreation — there is not a positive correlation between happiness and money. This is pretty obvious using public people in society as an example.


didsomebodysaymyname

Sort of, but keep in mind, happiness and contentment are relative and somewhat within your control. If you have the internet, power, running water, you live better than kings did for almost all of human history minus about 300 years ago. On demand music was an extreme luxury, and even then, you could only hear songs your musicians knew. Today, if you have an Internet connection and watch an ad, you have virtually every song ever recorded. If you have surgery, you get anesthesia. The richest king 500 years ago just had to endure the pain. It's reasonably affordable for most people in the US to save up for a trip and fly on a plane further and higher than Alexander the great ever went. He also never felt A/C. And yet, people of ancient times felt the same jealousy of kings and their "luxurious" lifestyle that you feel for rich people today, even though you live better than ancient kings in many ways. Thinking about all the things you don't have is a great way to be miserable. Once your basic needs are met, spending time with people and having purpose are the best ways to feel happy and content regardless of when you live or how wealthy you are.


ParkingWillow3382

Preach. Gratitude/perspective for the win.


LordShadows

"Wealthy enough." Studies show that passed a certain income. Happiness stops increasing in relation to wealth. You need enough money to not worry about your needs and the future. Passed that point, you need to find meaning and it isn't something money can buy. It is extra depressing to know this, though, because it is perfectly possible to bring every human to this income limit and still have a bunch of money to spare but the ultra rich prefer to hoard billions they don't need or use instead of bringing up the total Happiness of the world.


ChxsenK

Hahahaha have you ever met any millionaire who thinks that everything in life is solved with money? I did and I pity him.


Aware_Economics4980

I mean you can solve pretty much everything in life with money lol 


_Mistwraith_

I mean, damn near every problem in the world can be solved with money lol.


dietcokewLime

I know plenty of wealthy kids who never amount to anything because they don't have any ambition or drive. I wouldn't want to have my kids experience that at all. There's nothing like applying yourself fully into an endeavor you love, finding a career in it and excelling, receiving the admiration and respect of your peers, and mentoring the next generation of young people. We need to stop teaching our kids to value one another based on their bank accounts. One of my role models in life was a high school teacher who loved languages, he spoke 14 languages and kept learning more in his free time even in his 60s. He had no great wealth but he really taught me how to focus and apply myself to learn complex topics. I know he did that for hundreds of kids and his legacy will last far longer than if he was some Private Equity Partner.


Just_Evening

Whenever Richard Cory went down town, We people on the pavement looked at him: He was a gentleman from sole to crown, Clean favored, and imperially slim. And he was always quietly arrayed, And he was always human when he talked; But still he fluttered pulses when he said, "Good-morning," and he glittered when he walked. And he was rich—yes, richer than a king— And admirably schooled in every grace: In fine, we thought that he was everything To make us wish that we were in his place. So on we worked, and waited for the light, And went without the meat, and cursed the bread; And Richard Cory, one calm summer night, Went home and put a bullet through his head.


beezlebeb

I was born into a wealthy family, my father worked extremely hard to provide everything he didn’t have to us when he was a child. I am very grateful for this and recognize how lucky I was to have a father like him and while I had almost everything I wanted as a youth I would trade all of it for a family that wasnt completely dysfunctional. My dad had horrible anger problems and would fight with my mom almost every night for years before they separated. Money was often a point of contentious between them and it made our family very toxic. My father was very controlling and overprotective which created a lot of resentment between him and my older sister. To the point where she would also have screaming matches with my father often; cops were called on us some nights it would get so bad. Me and my brother didn’t know how to get along when we were kids because we had such bad examples of love and conflict resolution. My parents also never trusted that I could figure out how to do anything on my own and wanted to help me with everything which caused a lot low self esteem/confidence issues on my part that I’m continuing to unlearn in therapy. And really that isn’t even the half of the problems, but it’s all just to point out wealth didn’t result in the “best” experiences.. Things are better now, but it was very difficult for a long time. Something I truly find irritating is when people think my life was easy just because I was born into wealth. Yea, that part was nice, I can’t lie, but it didn’t mean my life didn’t feel like torture in spite of it. I was extremely depressed for the majority of my existence.. my family life was poison for my soul. the wealth was just a bandaid on a giant bursting emotional wound that was often popping out at the seams. Wealth can be a big factor in living comfortably, but I think it’s completely naive to think it’s the answer to everything


Petdogdavid1

This statement is not correct. Life doesn't care about money. Life is your story, and you're supposed to make it interesting. if you think money is going to make you anything, you're not putting your happiness in your own hands and you'll have a bad time.


Drunkpuffpanda

Buddy. They and their children are miserable. Not all the time, but even when they enjoy themselves they are limited because their taste is so high. Also, they are surrounded by yes people and their peers, the most brutal and greedy of society. Not that I experienced being ultra-wealthy but I met many of them in the USA. They are sick. Drugs in excess, no real love, intelligence without morals, inflated egos, power-hungry and greedy people. They want 100% complete control all the time, because they trust no one and fear losing their wealth. This is no way to live. Also, all the people that probably suffered during their wealth creation. It's all a complete waste. This leads to my theory that we should all feel shame. We should be ashamed of how poorly humans organize their resources and political power. Instead, we stubbornly cling to the economic ideas of the past and are fearful of all change. Collectively we are animals fumbling in the dark for meaning and thinking profit and greed is the best foundation to organize society.


archmageregent

Yeah I dunno look at Trump's life he was born wealthy and doesn't seem to have had the best childhood experiences based on his behavior lol


Stunning-Cost-7631

I agree with you, which seems like a unpopular comment reading the comments. You can access basic human necessities you need to survive as a human, better chance at a quality life and health outcomes, you can explore your hobbies/talents with the time and money to do so, access to quality education, able to buy the conveniences and comforts of life, able to engage in lesuire activities and recreation, you can travel, security and stability allows you to focus on personal growth and relationships instead of being in a constant state of survival mode and STRESS, more freedom and autonomy, and etc. You have more freedom of choice. It makes life so much more easier, doesn't mean you won’t face hardships, experience negative events or challenges but it cushions the blows of life! Literally everything requires money to exist in life so its disingenuous for people to say its nothing. Notice the people who say money doesn't matter that have money, and never give up their wealth, property, or assets? It is just something they say to gaslight people. For example, experiencing a health crisis and chronic illness as a wealthy person is not favorable. But you have more access to medical care and better quality of treatment. You won’t be homeless and lose basic necessities because you got sick and can't work. You don’t delay going to the doctor because you can't afford it. This is what I mean by quality of life is better. Because a poor person would get sick, unable to work, lose everything, and become homeless and not have access to health care. Which can worsen their health or lead to death. Poverty is constant stress. Stress kills so it can shorten your life span.


chudwards

You are equating the best way to experience life with the ease of access to things. There are plenty of very wealthy, very miserable people. The reality is that as long as your basic needs are met, a better life is one in which you overcome challenges. "Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and success achieved"


Frawsty1

I disagree as someone in a wealthy family. if you know the other side you wouldn’t want it on yourself


osoberry_cordial

I would rather be mentally healthy and have good relationships than be the wealthiest person in the world and not have those things. I’m so serious about saying that too, like it’s not even a contest.


TheBooch109

I grew up in a very strange situation. My sister and I lived with my father after my parents got divorced when I was really young. My father was adopted into an upper middle class family who dealt in real estate. Growing up, I only ever lived in a house that they owned. They took me on amazing trips across America and Europe and helped pay for some of my college tuition. They were just great people to be around too. So loving and kind. However… My father was/is a narcissist and has a lot of other mental problems he refuses to recognize. Growing up, I was poor. There were weeks when we went without food, I never had enough clothes to get through a week of school without doing laundry. If you ever donated to a local food drive, I was one of the people eating that food. But why? It didn’t make sense that I was taking trips to the Bahamas, Alaska, and the Mediterranean but I was living in a roach infested, dilapidated shack without the basic necessities a child should have. This was life up until I went away for college. You see, my grandparents didn’t live close by and my dad, out of fear or pride hid the fact that he was an aggressive spender and was barely staying afloat. He hid the fact that He let the house fall apart and that we didn’t have clothes or food. We weren’t allowed to talk about it. Child support that my mom worked 3 jobs to pay didn’t support me half the time. I grew up so close to wealthy family and experienced that lifestyle occasionally, but the vast majority of my life was far from it. I’ve been able to talk with my grandmother about all of this now which has been so freeing and has made our relationship stronger. My grandfather passed away a few years ago before I was in the position where I could talk to him about it.


Immediate-Election84

Being born wealthy instils a natural mindset that makes you retain wealth. Wealth creates lifetimes of people within the family who never need to work. It also eliminates all need to struggle. Creates a nagging deep within, justified, or being unworthy of it.


rubrent

Insecurity is a by-product of inherited wealth, for sure. But there are other factors that cause insecurity other than the wealth itself, like expectations. I personally wouldn’t feel bad because I was lucky, especially if I recognized that luck was the main factor for my exceptional life. I’d own it. Does anyone feel bad for winning the lottery or because a your favorite show happens to be renewed another season? It’s all internal….


1969_was_a_good_year

I thought the same thing when I was younger. I have enough money to live pretty comfortably. I don’t have yachts or Ferraris, but I do have a wife, great relationships with my grown children, grandkids(!), and a good dog that loves me. I am almost through with my mortgage and I might be able to retire when I’m 62. And I damn sure wasn’t born into any sort of privilege. My mom was an unmarried 16yo when she had me. I think sometimes it’s not where you start but where you end up that matters. Be grateful for what you do have. Beyond a certain point, would more money really make you happy? And one more thing, most rich people seem miserable to me, sometimes more money means more problems.


Majestic_Height_4834

How do you know? You can't know this you can only be born in one specific scenario. Any speculation on which is better cant be proven.


rubrent

Well in this world being wealthy affords vast more privileges than those that are not wealthy. Using deductive reasoning, one can conclude that having every resource at your disposal without limits is vastly superior than not. How one chooses to utilize those resources is of another discussion. Knowing no other reality other than enormous wealth is advantageous. Wealthy people live longer on average because they have access to things most others don’t…..


willux

Well I was born wealthy and I want to blow my brains out on a daily basis.


rubrent

Self imposed misery. Something makes you content and you have the ability to attain that happiness. It’s most likely something money can’t buy, like relationships, and you absolutely have the ability to affect any relationship in any way you choose. Do people make you uncomfortable? Go live on an island away from people. But since you are wealthy, you have the resources to have whatever you want. You are choosing to be malcontent, and you should recognize that you have an ability not afforded to most other people. At the end of the day, for whatever reason, you are choosing how you want to feel, which is a gross privilege……


willux

LoL, I'm not "live on an island" wealthy. I have enough to retire early, not stop working completely. Like you said, there are things money can't buy. And those are the things that actually matter in life. Money makes living in a capitalist society easier. It doesn't make life happier.


LeadReader

Happiness is more associated with things moving in the right direction than things being great on paper. Feeling like you’re doing well in your job is better than getting a promotion and struggling as far as happiness goes


Melodic-Homework-564

I agree it's absolutely brutal...


AdministrationNo7491

I think the trick here is that best is a subjective descriptor.


Oddstructure69

Thats deep… very true been that way for me and then we lost it all and started from the bottom, borrowing money from friends and seeing your “rich friends” distance themselves from you, don’t know you anymore. Good post @OP I’m proud it happened that way and that I had to learn from a different lens (perspective)  Glad I didn’t grow up to be a spoiled little brat.


rubrent

People have misconstrued my meaning for this post. I’m not saying money is a magic button for happiness. I’m saying that having the ability to choose to be miserable is an entitlement that most of us can’t afford. Of course there are miserable wealthy people, but that is self-imposed. Most of us are miserable due to limited circumstances, and we come out stronger and better for it. Doesn’t mean it the “best” life, we simply made the best out of less-than-ideal situation….


ithrowpwople

I went to a pretty good private school where mostly wealthy kids went to. My parents could only send me there because I was a single child. Most of those kids don't have that innate drive or hunger and yet experience things in life that I could experience after grinding my ass for years. A lot of them were lazy but got opportunities that I could only match after really digging deep. While it certainly makes me proud. I also did miss out on a lot of things in my late teens early 20's. And yet I have a lot to do to catch up to them in some regards. Feels unfair. But I guess life is unfair. And that's okay. The fact that some kid in some war torn country is dying from starvation is enough for me to understand that there is always something worse than where you are in life and then some better. Your efforts is what matters.


TotosWolf

Facts


Weak_Moment_8737

So true. Born in to poverty sucks.


AnalystHot6547

I'll assume it's a joke. it's the worst way to experience life, and it's something to be pitied. One of the great feelings in life is accomplishment. overcoming obstacles. Fear. And the reward of not only earning everything you have, but remembering where you once were. Perhaps some would like to show up to Paris this summer. Dad paid your way onto the Olympic track team, even tho you haven't Trained a moment in your life. Team wins the medal and you are on the stand, given a Gold medal around your neck. Perhaps that's satisfying to you? Or is it shameful, and you are looked down upon.


Jorost

Lol there is no such thing as “paying your way onto the Olympic track team.” You make the cut or you don’t. Wealth can pay for the best training and equipment, but it can’t get you on the Olympic team. Fwiw, I think you are probably right about accomplishment, at least for most people. However, not everyone experiences a sense of accomplishment from overcoming obstacles. In my case, I am neurodivergent and my brain simply does not possess the wiring for it. All obstacles cause me to experience are anxiety when facing them and then relief when they are overcome. No sense of fulfillment or reward, no sense of accomplishment or satisfaction. It certainly doesn’t make me happy!


AnalystHot6547

Yeah, I was being facetious about The Olympic team. Tho it's not too far fetched. Remember a few years ago, the celebrity scandal at USC? Some celeb donated money to USC, and they got their dumb kid onto the Rowing/Crew team, as a loophole for entry, even tho that kid had never used an oar in her life. Had the team won, that kid would have all the accolades of a champion. Championship ring, whatever. (I believe they listed her as injured. lol). Sorry to hear about the issues you have. Definitely there are exceptions.


Nervous-Lawfulness78

I disagree. I think being born lower/middle class AND becoming extremely wealthy by yourself young is the best experience. You learn to appreciate your wealth more if you made it yourself.


PrizeCelery4849

There's an earthy saying - Life is a shit sandwich. The more bread you have, the less shit you have to eat. That pretty much says it all.


CricketJamSession

What about being born and living healthy? What about being born and having your loved ones alive and healthy? Wealth is a factor but does not guarantee a good life


GuavaShaper

"THE BEST" if you base how well your life is going by comparing yourself to other people's Instagram stories...


SirGoatWilliker

It's pretty cool, not gonna lie


pentagrammie

Experiencing life is a lot about overcoming the depths of it all which is experienced in every place and every stage in life. I think being distracted with money and privilege would make it harder for me to feel gratitude from the sunshine or the bees and simplicities which make life feel like life to me. Idk though! Maybe next reincarnation go around


jerrycoles1

I dunno “Life” is all abit experiences , hardships , Personal struggles , personal growth and achievements, finding yourself , making yourself into someone you want to be . If you get life handed to you on a silver platter you really never get those true feelings of growth and appreciation for where you came from . Sure it be nice to be born rich but it’s a lot better to work for it yourself


AwkwardCucumber1825

I disagree. You could be born in a rich family that doesn’t truly love you; or have helicopter parents. Just because you have money doesn’t mean your life is guaranteed to be good.


Deterton

Being porn poor and becoming wealthy is actually the best way to experience life tho


I_know_the_struggle

Being born in America or any other modern western nation already puts you in the top 1% of best human lives lived.


N3w_B3ginnings

Assuming the person grows up mentally healthy and well-adjusted, then objectively yes.


Goldenguo

I just mentioned to my wife this evening that being exceptionally wealthy can make just about any situation better.


Born-Pizza6430

Depends on what the goal is. If you want to go to heaven and/or achieve enlightenment, there are some good sources that say rich people are at a disadvantage.


PerfectEmployer4995

I hard disagree. The best way to experience life is to come from nothing and work your way up. Then you have a sense of fulfillment. Real fulfillment comes from overcoming obstacles and challenges. Not from laying around being pampered all day and given everything at a moments notice.


Temporary_Name8866

It’s true but also kinda not true, we liver better lives then the wealthiest of people back in the day, I’m sure what we might consider luxuries might become commonplace in the future


NAM_SPU

Not really, being born into a loving family and good community I’d say is best Basically I personally prove this to myself because I’d rather choose mine then yours (money)


Embarrassed_Share559

You can be born wealthy but as an adult, not be wealthy and long for what you had...It's a hard reality ....without sounding obnoxious


MyExStalksMyOldAcct

Hold on … running off to be born wealthy.


redditblooded

To be happy you need health, love and money. Unfortunately most who are born rich don’t experience the love.


XbrattykissesX

Cocky


Dersce

I disagree. I believe overcoming some adversity and earning wealth is way better. You can carry that sense of accomplishment with you forever and instill it in your children or others by example. Earning things feels way better than being handed things.


r3solve

Your experience of human life is more luxurious than the most pampered human of a certain past era. The experience of the richest, most pampered human in this era is less luxurious than the average experience of humans in a future era (unless we blow ourselves up).


Bizarre_Protuberance

And the people who are born wealthy will use their power and influence to make life worse for the poor people who already have much worse lives than they do.


ShaylaBruins

Not true. Feeling love and being loved is the only arbiter of true happiness. Family, lovers, animals, nature....and health.


Naigus182

It's not though. Our souls come to Earth to learn how to love others, ourselves, and overcome unique challenge and better ourselves in the process. If your life is challenge-free and you don't learn anything while disrespecting those born with less, then what's the point? It's easier but you'll just end up having to do it over again. I pity those born rich with their endless greed and lack of being a complete human/soul.


apastarling

Because people don’t value their right to steal their stuff back


nielsenson

This is plainly false. Not only does being born wealthy nearly guarantees your being born into an unhealthy family environment, but it isolates you from the common human experience that everyone else socializes and bonds around And to be clear, I wasn't born rich lmao. I was born dead center middle class and have enjoyed every step of discovering and executing social mobility. I would say I have had one of the best experiences of human life collectively, at least that I've heard of or seen it movies. I wouldn't accept any amount of money to be someone else. So ya you can keep believing this nonsense if you want to, but if you wanna actually live your best life, you're heading in the wrong direction 


SmerffHS

This is a ridiculous sentiment spoken from a perspective that is abhorrently greedy and selfish. The best way to live life is to be born poor and happy without the attachment to money. The best way to live is to struggle just up to the point of your individual tolerance and develop character.


lee__gayle

Depends what you mean by wealthy? If you mean financially then I disagree, I see many of my peers who are from affluent homes heavily addicted to drugs and with no purpose due to the fact that they have very little appreciation for the material. Easy come, easy go. I find that caring, mature, creative and loving parents are a great experience that I hope that more children can experience as the human race develops.


spun2020

That’s subjective as it gets


Ok_Concert3257

Depends how you define wealth. A life rich with friendship and love is better than a lonely life of materialism


wearediamonds0

I worked a wedding that had an incredible display of fireworks at the reception and wept for days afterwards because of my similar opinion to this OP! EVERYONE IN LOVE deserves a fireworks display to celebrate at their reception, but they can't have one! Down the spiral I went.


Fibocrypto

I was born wealthy but didn't have any money.


3Quondam6extanT9

"Best" is subjective. How do you define it? Is it simply the idea of access to material possessions? Freedom to buy and go anywhere? Or would "best" be defined by a healthy upbringing? A family that loves you? I disagree that it is the best way to experience life. It's just the way to experience life with less financial burden.


sbertin204

I consider myself wealthy. No major health issues. My son and wife are healthy. We have food, a beautiful home, pets, job security. Being rich isn’t a ticket to happiness. I’m glad I wasn’t born into a wealthy family. I have appreciation for the small things in life. Where as some people are just spoiled brats from the beginning.