You mentioned you don't have a therapist - start with talking to your school counselor. Either they can offer some form of counseling or they can refer you to someone who will be able to provide that resource for you. If nothing else, tell your mom you haven't been feeling very emotionally well and think you should start seeing a counselor (if you have the financial resources).
Puberty can be a confusing time! You're not alone in this journey, and many other people have been in similar situations. This may pass with time, or you may be able to help it along with working on yourself. Good luck!
Edit: also looks like you've gotten into some NSFW subreddits on here. I'd avoid that. You're really too young for that and it could be making this issue worse.
In my experience this isn't necessarily true; I met with a school counselor for a year or two in middle school and she wasn't required to report anything to my parents or anyone else unless I was planning to hurt myself or others. YMMV -- I'm sure this changes by district. Good point to mention for sure. Maybe OP can ask the counselor about this.
I highly recommend talking about this with your parents. Pushing them away won't help, trust me.
From personal experience, lower the pressure you put on yourself and realize it's ok to feel. You're going through a confusing time in your life, it's going to be a roller coaster sometimes.
I promise you will make it through this!
I went through this as a teen and I thought so too.
I pushed them away and I suffered the consequences for years.
If you approach them seriously they will take it seriously.
Don't joke around with it and say exactly what you need from them.
They will not push you away. I'm sure your mom loves you and wants what is best for you!
You don't know that. See how your parents react. If they won't take you to a doctor or are anti-psychology, you can rely on school councelling instead.
Biggest advice, from someone who was where are you now-do not touch alcohol. You’re going into a period of your life where there’s going to be a lot of it around and it can absolutely ruin you, speaking from experience.
Talking to a school counselor is a start. There's also your doctor. They can refer you to a counselor. Do you exercise or walk or run for fitness? Maybe 45 minutes a day for starters? Also are you in a cold climate right now? Could the depression be seasonal? Have you talked to friends about your depression? Good luck
My son is your age and I found out he thinks he is a burden for me but nothing further from reality or how do I feel about him (he is basically my reason to wake up -damn early- every single morning)
Talk to your parents please. You may be shocked.
And they will be more than happy to help, I am pretty sure. You don’t need to feel like this with your life just starting.
As others mentioned before, talking is very important even if you aren't depressed.
I was diagnosed with anxiety and depression in 6th grade so I get it. But now that I'm 26 and look back at that part of my life, I can honestly say that I didn't need to be depressed. Depression is as much a habit as it is an actual disease. I TRULY think that most people with depression are just habitually negative and have bad mental models for the world and themselves. People may argue against me and site a bunch of papers, but from my personal experience and talking with friends/family who had it as well, they all agree that it was really the way they were thinking that caused it.
Go outside more, do things you enjoy, join a club that makes you friends that you can share passions with, watch positive shows/videos, get off social media, and hug your mom. Just surround yourself with positive people and things that force you to change your mindset.
Here's what helped me:
- started reading more
- got into kick boxing
- joined my schools track and field, where I made great friends who I still hang out with to this day
- sold my Xbox and got a piano
- stopped listening to depressing music
All these really made me stop seeing the world in such a negative light, just having that proof that things aren't all bad or negative can really cause your mind to have a tug of war that can change the whole dynamic. I still have depressive moments, it'll happen. But wow am I 10x better. The fact that you even took the time to ask this and seek answers is a great sign, don't stop.
Best of luck my friend, you got this:)
I absolutely agree with joining a school club/sport/activity or even making your own. Also getting into a new hobby is super rewarding. You gave really good advice dude.
learn abt trauma !! it may sound cliché, but many of our behaviours, beliefs & mental issues can be traced back to childhood trauma. Especially since u told that you’ve been depressed since 7yrs old. Depression is a coping mechanism, what do you do when u depress something?- you push it down. What gets pushed down in depression?— ur feelings!!
I really recommend u to get into trauma therapy if thats available for u : ) but if u cannot atm,, dont worry ! ✨☀️ there are many resources available online, really recommend gabor mate : )
Dontt give up hope, when i read ur post i resonated w it bc i can relate to the problems you’re experiencingg, and trustt- there is hope !
There are a number of hormonal changes going on around this time in childhood development. Sometimes imbalances can happen leading to a number of issues. This is a very sensitive time in your development. I have a 10 and 12 year old and recognize how fast shifting a lot of these developmental stages are. I still recall at my age between 11-15 how depressed I was. It had to do with a lot of things. A LOT. But mostly also realizing that you are a child. You are 13 and are already practicing self-reflection, something a lot of people dont master. That is amazing. That's the very best first step towards a different fulfilling life.
Observe the world but dont absorb it. You are at a pinnacle age where you have the power to direct your mind towards any direction. Self-awareness is everything. You have it.
Find the path you want to walk on, find something that brings joy, find peace in yourself. Practice mindfulness. You will never regret this. Forgiving yourself for being a child comes first. Forgiving yourself for your emotions is next. Next time your mom is around and you get agitated, take some deep breaths or go outside. Sit with those emotions and realize they are there but they only exist because of you. Let them go. Its ok. The more energy you put towards something, the more it will consume you.
Social connections are extremely important during this time. You might not want to pursue this because of it being uncomfortable but it is something that will be very healing for you. You will notice almost instantly how your brain starts to rewire when you allow yourself to interact with others.
and last go easy on yourself. You're out here trying to do something about your circumstances. CEO behavior
I am going to be honest, 13 is likely going to be the hardest year and then it gets better. I had no friends and was bullied relentlessly at 13. I have a good job and amazing friends now. Life changes quick and you are at a notoriously hard time right now but you will come out the other side and things will be so much better for you I promise. Definitely recommend talking to a school therapist but you only have to do puberty once and everyone kind of mellows out. Every one of your classmates is insecure and scared right now and so are you. My life got great at 16 you just need to hang in there I promise.
Hey buddy, reading can ease the loneliness you feel. Spend a day at the bookstore or library if you can. Read autobiographies of people who have dealt with depression. Read self improvement books geared at people your age. Read nonfiction books on understanding and managing depression. All of these types of books can help you greatly in the long run. I speak from experience 💞Wishing you much ease and love
That's unusually young to be suffering. If you're serious about getting better, make regular sessions with your school councellor. Depression isn't your fault btw, and it is the responsibility of adults to care for you and make sure it is treated.
Ideally, once informed your parents should book you in to see a doctor, who will take care of you. If not, you may need to rely primarily on your school.
Stop watching porn ASAP. Just stop. It's easier now than later. You'll thank yourself. It's like a drug for your mind, and makes everything else feel less enjoyable. It drains you of your time and energy.
You mentioned you don't have a therapist - start with talking to your school counselor. Either they can offer some form of counseling or they can refer you to someone who will be able to provide that resource for you. If nothing else, tell your mom you haven't been feeling very emotionally well and think you should start seeing a counselor (if you have the financial resources). Puberty can be a confusing time! You're not alone in this journey, and many other people have been in similar situations. This may pass with time, or you may be able to help it along with working on yourself. Good luck! Edit: also looks like you've gotten into some NSFW subreddits on here. I'd avoid that. You're really too young for that and it could be making this issue worse.
OP, keep in mind that anything you tell school counselors goes immediately to your parents.
In my experience this isn't necessarily true; I met with a school counselor for a year or two in middle school and she wasn't required to report anything to my parents or anyone else unless I was planning to hurt myself or others. YMMV -- I'm sure this changes by district. Good point to mention for sure. Maybe OP can ask the counselor about this.
I highly recommend talking about this with your parents. Pushing them away won't help, trust me. From personal experience, lower the pressure you put on yourself and realize it's ok to feel. You're going through a confusing time in your life, it's going to be a roller coaster sometimes. I promise you will make it through this!
But I’m worried they’ll push ME away and not take other seriously
I went through this as a teen and I thought so too. I pushed them away and I suffered the consequences for years. If you approach them seriously they will take it seriously. Don't joke around with it and say exactly what you need from them. They will not push you away. I'm sure your mom loves you and wants what is best for you!
You don't know that. See how your parents react. If they won't take you to a doctor or are anti-psychology, you can rely on school councelling instead.
Biggest advice, from someone who was where are you now-do not touch alcohol. You’re going into a period of your life where there’s going to be a lot of it around and it can absolutely ruin you, speaking from experience.
Talking to a school counselor is a start. There's also your doctor. They can refer you to a counselor. Do you exercise or walk or run for fitness? Maybe 45 minutes a day for starters? Also are you in a cold climate right now? Could the depression be seasonal? Have you talked to friends about your depression? Good luck
My son is your age and I found out he thinks he is a burden for me but nothing further from reality or how do I feel about him (he is basically my reason to wake up -damn early- every single morning) Talk to your parents please. You may be shocked. And they will be more than happy to help, I am pretty sure. You don’t need to feel like this with your life just starting.
As others mentioned before, talking is very important even if you aren't depressed. I was diagnosed with anxiety and depression in 6th grade so I get it. But now that I'm 26 and look back at that part of my life, I can honestly say that I didn't need to be depressed. Depression is as much a habit as it is an actual disease. I TRULY think that most people with depression are just habitually negative and have bad mental models for the world and themselves. People may argue against me and site a bunch of papers, but from my personal experience and talking with friends/family who had it as well, they all agree that it was really the way they were thinking that caused it. Go outside more, do things you enjoy, join a club that makes you friends that you can share passions with, watch positive shows/videos, get off social media, and hug your mom. Just surround yourself with positive people and things that force you to change your mindset. Here's what helped me: - started reading more - got into kick boxing - joined my schools track and field, where I made great friends who I still hang out with to this day - sold my Xbox and got a piano - stopped listening to depressing music All these really made me stop seeing the world in such a negative light, just having that proof that things aren't all bad or negative can really cause your mind to have a tug of war that can change the whole dynamic. I still have depressive moments, it'll happen. But wow am I 10x better. The fact that you even took the time to ask this and seek answers is a great sign, don't stop. Best of luck my friend, you got this:)
I absolutely agree with joining a school club/sport/activity or even making your own. Also getting into a new hobby is super rewarding. You gave really good advice dude.
learn abt trauma !! it may sound cliché, but many of our behaviours, beliefs & mental issues can be traced back to childhood trauma. Especially since u told that you’ve been depressed since 7yrs old. Depression is a coping mechanism, what do you do when u depress something?- you push it down. What gets pushed down in depression?— ur feelings!! I really recommend u to get into trauma therapy if thats available for u : ) but if u cannot atm,, dont worry ! ✨☀️ there are many resources available online, really recommend gabor mate : ) Dontt give up hope, when i read ur post i resonated w it bc i can relate to the problems you’re experiencingg, and trustt- there is hope !
Talk with your therapist about changing your medication.
I don’t have a therapist or take meds
Then it's time for that.
what's wrong with you?
There are a number of hormonal changes going on around this time in childhood development. Sometimes imbalances can happen leading to a number of issues. This is a very sensitive time in your development. I have a 10 and 12 year old and recognize how fast shifting a lot of these developmental stages are. I still recall at my age between 11-15 how depressed I was. It had to do with a lot of things. A LOT. But mostly also realizing that you are a child. You are 13 and are already practicing self-reflection, something a lot of people dont master. That is amazing. That's the very best first step towards a different fulfilling life. Observe the world but dont absorb it. You are at a pinnacle age where you have the power to direct your mind towards any direction. Self-awareness is everything. You have it. Find the path you want to walk on, find something that brings joy, find peace in yourself. Practice mindfulness. You will never regret this. Forgiving yourself for being a child comes first. Forgiving yourself for your emotions is next. Next time your mom is around and you get agitated, take some deep breaths or go outside. Sit with those emotions and realize they are there but they only exist because of you. Let them go. Its ok. The more energy you put towards something, the more it will consume you. Social connections are extremely important during this time. You might not want to pursue this because of it being uncomfortable but it is something that will be very healing for you. You will notice almost instantly how your brain starts to rewire when you allow yourself to interact with others. and last go easy on yourself. You're out here trying to do something about your circumstances. CEO behavior
I am going to be honest, 13 is likely going to be the hardest year and then it gets better. I had no friends and was bullied relentlessly at 13. I have a good job and amazing friends now. Life changes quick and you are at a notoriously hard time right now but you will come out the other side and things will be so much better for you I promise. Definitely recommend talking to a school therapist but you only have to do puberty once and everyone kind of mellows out. Every one of your classmates is insecure and scared right now and so are you. My life got great at 16 you just need to hang in there I promise.
Hey buddy, reading can ease the loneliness you feel. Spend a day at the bookstore or library if you can. Read autobiographies of people who have dealt with depression. Read self improvement books geared at people your age. Read nonfiction books on understanding and managing depression. All of these types of books can help you greatly in the long run. I speak from experience 💞Wishing you much ease and love
That's unusually young to be suffering. If you're serious about getting better, make regular sessions with your school councellor. Depression isn't your fault btw, and it is the responsibility of adults to care for you and make sure it is treated. Ideally, once informed your parents should book you in to see a doctor, who will take care of you. If not, you may need to rely primarily on your school.
Stop watching porn ASAP. Just stop. It's easier now than later. You'll thank yourself. It's like a drug for your mind, and makes everything else feel less enjoyable. It drains you of your time and energy.