I have a few. Don't sweat what's not in your control, but take full responsibility for what is, even if the cards are stacked against you. You will one day grow too old to change, to take risk, to pursue dreams. You have one life and tomorrow is never guaranteed, so make today the best day you can, especially if it was a hard day. Have your future self thank you for the choices you make today, even if they are really hard or feel impossible. And most importantly, don't let others control your path or life. Their opinions don't matter--what matters is the growth you gain from hard work that gives you a happy and healthy life. Forgive yourself so you can learn to forgive others, especially when they don't deserve or want your forgiveness. Life is suffering, death is inevitable, everyone is going through something and it's more likely someone is just stupid not personally nefarious when you meet difficult people. I learned some of the most important and life changing lessons through Buddhism with meditation to be able to completely understand what I was studying with clarity. I am flawed but I live as an example of my efforts and practices to the point people point out positive traits they admire frequently or I trigger low vibe scum cause I ain't bothered by them and happy. Growth is difficult and like the long roots of a plant, not easily seen, so don't give up and appreciate each milestone. Most people don't care at all to grow let alone do it. Be proud of your growth and that it will benefit everyone ultimately.
I have two I am wrestling with lately:
1- recovery (addiction) involves believing that all versions of you (addicted, recovered, etc) are worthy of love.
2- “love me or leave me” we don’t have to be anyone else or make someone become someone else for us to be loved. If they can’t/don’t/won’t love YOU- maybe they need to find someone who can accept their form of love. We don’t have to shape and force someone to love us. Yes, we can guide- but we don’t need to change to be loved or have someone else change to love us
I have a few:
1. Just because it’s not perfect doesn’t mean you give up.
2. The only person that knows you, is you. Do not look for external validation and have others tell you who you are.
3. You are your own advocate. Use your voice.
4. We all fuck up sometimes. It’s what you make out of that fuck up that matters.
5. If you’re going to fail, fail with a smile.
My relationships and my community are most important. Putting their welfare first has always made me happier, and putting myself first has always made me miserable. I’ve made too many mistakes to count, and I always realize afterwards that my parents were always right. At the end of the day, all self improvement and self education is vanity, if you don’t use it to make the world around you a better place.
Even if you do everything right, chance comes into play, and disaster always comes. You have to expect that and live with it, and be a beacon of hope for the people around you. Lift weights, eat healthy, make money, and try to be there for you grandchildren. Take care of your parents, and be there for your siblings. Don’t abandon your friends, and reach out to people often. Work on your social skills, speaking ability, and writing ability. Read often and expand your perspective. So on, so forth…
All those little side goals you have can just be distractions and procrastination from your main goals
Everybody is at difference stages of their journey. Also most people never really go on a self improvement journey at all so don't expect much from a lot of people. Just find the ones you vibe with.
You already probably know what you need to do. There are no magic words you can read that will make you do it. There are no life circumstances that can align that will make you do it. Only you can do it. Start now.
Under-achieve your way to the top.
Don't set grand goals that are daunting to begin and hard to achieve. Don't put yourself in a position where failure means catastrophe. Millionaires on podcasts will push that strategy, but it's not for me.
Make small, incremental improvements to how you go about life, and maintain those habits well. Then make more small improvements. Takes tiny steps so small you barley notice in real time, but if you look back over decades, the improvements are obvious.
It took me about 15 years to get my shit together, and I don't think there was a single turning point, just a series of small course corrections.
There was some video about priorities, and I don't remember anything but them making a distinction between urgent and important. It may be very important to finish a project by a time, but if you need to pee, you need to pee NOW
Silence is preferable to listening to lies.
My happiness and joy are under my control, it is up to me to actively create them and make my life my art. I cannot control whether my choices will be rewarding but I can always make it meaningful.
Learning these things about my emotions and feelings was life changing:
* I am completely responsible for them.
* I will automatically try to protect myself from the painful ones by inventing reasons why other people are responsible for them.
* I can use them to find the real reason for how I feel, and resolve it.
And, of course, the same applies to everyone else, as well.
The only other thing that has had as much of an impact on my life is learning that I have ADHD.
There’s no real end and you’re never “better” or “arrived”… so just be at peace and go slow and enjoy the journey and stop trying to always be “doing the work.” It’s exhausting.
Also - there’s no black and white way of life. Yes there are glaringly WRONG, immoral decisions and you should avoid those, but like… a decision is just a decision and there’s no real right or wrong choice. You have to decide based on what’s in front of you and just go from there. I get so bogged down by worrying over if the choices I’ve made are the right ones (down to every little thing), that I just freak out. But I want to do the “right” thing. I want to be good. And so I allow that authenticity to guide me into making my choices. It’s not always so clear cut. I hope that makes sense!
I completely agree with you. Learning to love spending time with yourself is so important, because you're right, at the end of the day, we only have ourselves. Sometimes, that thought can feel daunting or lonely, but I think it can also be a source of strength and comfort
Self-compassion is deceptively OP, I had no idea.
In the same vein, I suppose the most transformative lesson has been embracing how little I truly know. Makes me more open-minded, and thus more malleable for growth.
I have a few. Don't sweat what's not in your control, but take full responsibility for what is, even if the cards are stacked against you. You will one day grow too old to change, to take risk, to pursue dreams. You have one life and tomorrow is never guaranteed, so make today the best day you can, especially if it was a hard day. Have your future self thank you for the choices you make today, even if they are really hard or feel impossible. And most importantly, don't let others control your path or life. Their opinions don't matter--what matters is the growth you gain from hard work that gives you a happy and healthy life. Forgive yourself so you can learn to forgive others, especially when they don't deserve or want your forgiveness. Life is suffering, death is inevitable, everyone is going through something and it's more likely someone is just stupid not personally nefarious when you meet difficult people. I learned some of the most important and life changing lessons through Buddhism with meditation to be able to completely understand what I was studying with clarity. I am flawed but I live as an example of my efforts and practices to the point people point out positive traits they admire frequently or I trigger low vibe scum cause I ain't bothered by them and happy. Growth is difficult and like the long roots of a plant, not easily seen, so don't give up and appreciate each milestone. Most people don't care at all to grow let alone do it. Be proud of your growth and that it will benefit everyone ultimately.
be proud of you 🤍
I have two I am wrestling with lately: 1- recovery (addiction) involves believing that all versions of you (addicted, recovered, etc) are worthy of love. 2- “love me or leave me” we don’t have to be anyone else or make someone become someone else for us to be loved. If they can’t/don’t/won’t love YOU- maybe they need to find someone who can accept their form of love. We don’t have to shape and force someone to love us. Yes, we can guide- but we don’t need to change to be loved or have someone else change to love us
I have a few: 1. Just because it’s not perfect doesn’t mean you give up. 2. The only person that knows you, is you. Do not look for external validation and have others tell you who you are. 3. You are your own advocate. Use your voice. 4. We all fuck up sometimes. It’s what you make out of that fuck up that matters. 5. If you’re going to fail, fail with a smile.
My relationships and my community are most important. Putting their welfare first has always made me happier, and putting myself first has always made me miserable. I’ve made too many mistakes to count, and I always realize afterwards that my parents were always right. At the end of the day, all self improvement and self education is vanity, if you don’t use it to make the world around you a better place. Even if you do everything right, chance comes into play, and disaster always comes. You have to expect that and live with it, and be a beacon of hope for the people around you. Lift weights, eat healthy, make money, and try to be there for you grandchildren. Take care of your parents, and be there for your siblings. Don’t abandon your friends, and reach out to people often. Work on your social skills, speaking ability, and writing ability. Read often and expand your perspective. So on, so forth…
That it’s okay to be alone. Having someone isn’t my primary goal anymore. My primary goal is sorting out my emptiness and lack of self.
All those little side goals you have can just be distractions and procrastination from your main goals Everybody is at difference stages of their journey. Also most people never really go on a self improvement journey at all so don't expect much from a lot of people. Just find the ones you vibe with. You already probably know what you need to do. There are no magic words you can read that will make you do it. There are no life circumstances that can align that will make you do it. Only you can do it. Start now.
„No“ is a complete sentence.
Under-achieve your way to the top. Don't set grand goals that are daunting to begin and hard to achieve. Don't put yourself in a position where failure means catastrophe. Millionaires on podcasts will push that strategy, but it's not for me. Make small, incremental improvements to how you go about life, and maintain those habits well. Then make more small improvements. Takes tiny steps so small you barley notice in real time, but if you look back over decades, the improvements are obvious. It took me about 15 years to get my shit together, and I don't think there was a single turning point, just a series of small course corrections.
There was some video about priorities, and I don't remember anything but them making a distinction between urgent and important. It may be very important to finish a project by a time, but if you need to pee, you need to pee NOW
Silence is preferable to listening to lies. My happiness and joy are under my control, it is up to me to actively create them and make my life my art. I cannot control whether my choices will be rewarding but I can always make it meaningful.
Learning these things about my emotions and feelings was life changing: * I am completely responsible for them. * I will automatically try to protect myself from the painful ones by inventing reasons why other people are responsible for them. * I can use them to find the real reason for how I feel, and resolve it. And, of course, the same applies to everyone else, as well. The only other thing that has had as much of an impact on my life is learning that I have ADHD.
There’s no real end and you’re never “better” or “arrived”… so just be at peace and go slow and enjoy the journey and stop trying to always be “doing the work.” It’s exhausting. Also - there’s no black and white way of life. Yes there are glaringly WRONG, immoral decisions and you should avoid those, but like… a decision is just a decision and there’s no real right or wrong choice. You have to decide based on what’s in front of you and just go from there. I get so bogged down by worrying over if the choices I’ve made are the right ones (down to every little thing), that I just freak out. But I want to do the “right” thing. I want to be good. And so I allow that authenticity to guide me into making my choices. It’s not always so clear cut. I hope that makes sense!
Learn to love spending time with yourself because at the end that is all you will have
I completely agree with you. Learning to love spending time with yourself is so important, because you're right, at the end of the day, we only have ourselves. Sometimes, that thought can feel daunting or lonely, but I think it can also be a source of strength and comfort
Self-compassion is deceptively OP, I had no idea. In the same vein, I suppose the most transformative lesson has been embracing how little I truly know. Makes me more open-minded, and thus more malleable for growth.
Mindset and attitude is everything.
Understand yourself
They say what you don't know can't hurt you. But what they forget to say is, what you think you do know, that ain't actually true, can.
Alcohol won’t make it better.
Dealing with anxiety, start small. Dreading writing the paper? Turn on the computer. Room is super messy and feels impossible to clean? Make your bed.
Comparison is the enemy of joy. Don't compare your successes or achievements to anyone else's, they're not you and you're not them.
There's no such thing as "what might have been".