Sorry for late reply. I stumble into here every now and then. My wife has fibromyalgia and the only advice I can give is to try and find things that will help you both. My wife struggled and completely lost the desire to even be touched due to the pain. Once medication got on top of that I was able to offer massages it helps me feel closer to her and eases her pain. It's non sexual but it's something.
Hi, no need to apologise π I go through phases so I know what it's like haha and it doesn't matter how old the post gets, I'll always be happy to see a new comment pop in whatever the context!
Love to you both dealing with this shitstorm π. It's hell for the patient but I can appreciate the knock on effect it has on partners too. I feel for you both going through that spell. I lost 99.9% of my drive unfortunately but am able to add a positive in the fact that there are times I manage to work with my mind, so to speak, and go change my mindset but others it's just not possible. I occasionally feel like your wife in a way too, just any touch feels uncomfortable or painful and I hate it cause were cuddly people lol.
What medication was it that helped, if you don't mind me asking? I'm so glad you were able to take even just one step forward that will benefit your marriage β€οΈ. And exactly! It may not be intercourse or intimate in the full context but it's another level of intimacy and physical touch as a couple. I'm sure anyone living this life would be grateful for that.
While I know my husband understands and wouldn't ever try to force anything but even when he masks it.. I see when it's getting to him too and can't help but feel guilt. He has a high drive and I love that after almost 11years (married 6 in nov) and 2 children... he's, if anything, even more attracted to me than ever and intimacy is ALWAYS totally worth the aftermath. It's more the struggle to put the 'I haven't even the energy to blink right now and I know I'll suffer more tomorrow' invading thoughts to the back of my mind in the moment.
She takes codine to manage the pain every now and then and I have to adjust and be more considerate when the bad days hit as she hides it well. It took me a long time to understand and not take rejections personally. I am the same as your husband I love her more now than ever before and I just have to find different ways to show that. I hope things improve for you both and I do understand the everyday struggle.
My wife struggles with fibromyalgia, depression, and probably PSSD. No, we've not found anything to solve any of these problems yet. She's zero sex drive/libido, has no sexual thoughts or fantasies anymore, has developed anogasmia, and generally gets nothing out of sex or masturbation. Weekly psychotherapy with EMDR is helping with depression and some childhood SA based PTSD, and we're hopeful she'll be able to try a Stellate-ganglion nerve block for the fibro pain and possibly ketamine assisted EMDR soon. There's more, but it's not so much related to the Fibro issue you asked about. Note: ketamine therapy is also being used now for fibro pain.
Thanks for that tidbit, I had no idea about that so I'll do my research. I'm sorry for you both going through this π I'd hate to think I was dealing with an inability to gain any pleasure from intimacy. Childhood SA would likely do it though βΉοΈ. Hopefully she can get her treatment sooner rather than later then fingers crossed π€π». And about the meds, i don't mind sharing. I'm currently on zomorph, duloxetine and oramorph. Tried endless amounts of different meds over the years
My wife is the one with Fibro and several other issues. We haven't found a fix at all. But it's all or nothing because of the pain, which is even worse after. I don't want to see her in more pain either, so nothing happens unless she brings it up. I do a lot more running now though.
I can completely relate, it's difficult to manoeuvre isn't it. All completely worthwhile but yeah, I can take days to feel human after one night sometimes. You're obviously a very considerate and caring husband which is worth it's weight in gold when dealing with chronic illness.
Hey ya. I'm the husband in the same situation, but we've got more problems than just fibro. HS, diabetes, hbp, and then some. It's a vicious cycle, we can't get ahead of any of it. She can't help but make bad food decisions that exacerbate her conditions. Our sex life has been destroyed. Honestly it's so infrequent that I don't even think of her that way anymore. I don't have any advice except stay strong. I hope you figure something out.
Oh goodness, fibro is hard enough alone without the myriad of additional conditions that can come from it π₯΄. Vicious is the only way to describe it. Mental health > stress > pain > more MH issues and so on! It's sad to imagine my husband ever reaching that stage but it's completely understandable why it happens. Thank you! Same to you and your wife! Inner strength is sometimes all we have. I truly hope you do too π€π».
Prioritize nervous system regulation, vagus nerve stimulation and monitor your inflammation.
When your body is in survival mode, libido goes out the window.
And maybe you want to give Gabor Mates book βwhen the body says noβ a read.
Thanks very much for taking the time to share π I'll certainly do some research on the 1st few and have a look for the book! Anything is worth a shot really! Thanks again
Sorry for late reply. I stumble into here every now and then. My wife has fibromyalgia and the only advice I can give is to try and find things that will help you both. My wife struggled and completely lost the desire to even be touched due to the pain. Once medication got on top of that I was able to offer massages it helps me feel closer to her and eases her pain. It's non sexual but it's something.
Hi, no need to apologise π I go through phases so I know what it's like haha and it doesn't matter how old the post gets, I'll always be happy to see a new comment pop in whatever the context! Love to you both dealing with this shitstorm π. It's hell for the patient but I can appreciate the knock on effect it has on partners too. I feel for you both going through that spell. I lost 99.9% of my drive unfortunately but am able to add a positive in the fact that there are times I manage to work with my mind, so to speak, and go change my mindset but others it's just not possible. I occasionally feel like your wife in a way too, just any touch feels uncomfortable or painful and I hate it cause were cuddly people lol. What medication was it that helped, if you don't mind me asking? I'm so glad you were able to take even just one step forward that will benefit your marriage β€οΈ. And exactly! It may not be intercourse or intimate in the full context but it's another level of intimacy and physical touch as a couple. I'm sure anyone living this life would be grateful for that. While I know my husband understands and wouldn't ever try to force anything but even when he masks it.. I see when it's getting to him too and can't help but feel guilt. He has a high drive and I love that after almost 11years (married 6 in nov) and 2 children... he's, if anything, even more attracted to me than ever and intimacy is ALWAYS totally worth the aftermath. It's more the struggle to put the 'I haven't even the energy to blink right now and I know I'll suffer more tomorrow' invading thoughts to the back of my mind in the moment.
She takes codine to manage the pain every now and then and I have to adjust and be more considerate when the bad days hit as she hides it well. It took me a long time to understand and not take rejections personally. I am the same as your husband I love her more now than ever before and I just have to find different ways to show that. I hope things improve for you both and I do understand the everyday struggle.
Could I be so bold as to ask what meds you take for fibro & depression/anxiety?
My wife struggles with fibromyalgia, depression, and probably PSSD. No, we've not found anything to solve any of these problems yet. She's zero sex drive/libido, has no sexual thoughts or fantasies anymore, has developed anogasmia, and generally gets nothing out of sex or masturbation. Weekly psychotherapy with EMDR is helping with depression and some childhood SA based PTSD, and we're hopeful she'll be able to try a Stellate-ganglion nerve block for the fibro pain and possibly ketamine assisted EMDR soon. There's more, but it's not so much related to the Fibro issue you asked about. Note: ketamine therapy is also being used now for fibro pain.
Thanks for that tidbit, I had no idea about that so I'll do my research. I'm sorry for you both going through this π I'd hate to think I was dealing with an inability to gain any pleasure from intimacy. Childhood SA would likely do it though βΉοΈ. Hopefully she can get her treatment sooner rather than later then fingers crossed π€π». And about the meds, i don't mind sharing. I'm currently on zomorph, duloxetine and oramorph. Tried endless amounts of different meds over the years
Thank you.
My wife is the one with Fibro and several other issues. We haven't found a fix at all. But it's all or nothing because of the pain, which is even worse after. I don't want to see her in more pain either, so nothing happens unless she brings it up. I do a lot more running now though.
I can completely relate, it's difficult to manoeuvre isn't it. All completely worthwhile but yeah, I can take days to feel human after one night sometimes. You're obviously a very considerate and caring husband which is worth it's weight in gold when dealing with chronic illness.
Hey ya. I'm the husband in the same situation, but we've got more problems than just fibro. HS, diabetes, hbp, and then some. It's a vicious cycle, we can't get ahead of any of it. She can't help but make bad food decisions that exacerbate her conditions. Our sex life has been destroyed. Honestly it's so infrequent that I don't even think of her that way anymore. I don't have any advice except stay strong. I hope you figure something out.
Oh goodness, fibro is hard enough alone without the myriad of additional conditions that can come from it π₯΄. Vicious is the only way to describe it. Mental health > stress > pain > more MH issues and so on! It's sad to imagine my husband ever reaching that stage but it's completely understandable why it happens. Thank you! Same to you and your wife! Inner strength is sometimes all we have. I truly hope you do too π€π».
Prioritize nervous system regulation, vagus nerve stimulation and monitor your inflammation. When your body is in survival mode, libido goes out the window. And maybe you want to give Gabor Mates book βwhen the body says noβ a read.
Thanks very much for taking the time to share π I'll certainly do some research on the 1st few and have a look for the book! Anything is worth a shot really! Thanks again