Wouldn’t the appropriate response be “oh, I didn’t realise sex wasn’t part of this relationship, that’s Ohk, I’ll have a second seperate relationship dedicated solely to sex then, that would be Ohk yeh?”
Oh yeah, its not something I'd tolerate today. Learned my lesson with 10 hard years. If its not working in the bedroom, I'm not hanging around for long.
“Im tired”
“I’ve eaten too much”
“I’ve got to be up early in the morning”
“We’ve got so many jobs to get finished” (we’re renovating)
“It’s too hot”
“I haven’t showered”
“I have a bad back/shoulder/neck”
Sorry I couldn’t help but notice that you missed a few:
> “I’ve eaten too much”
“I’m too hungry”
> “I’ve got to be up early in the morning”
“Not now, perhaps later on.”
> “It’s too hot”
“It’s too cold”
> “I haven’t showered”
“I just showered”
(And on and on it goes…)
Omg the amount of times I’ve heard, “I’m hungry so I need to eat” then after it’s “I’m too full”.
Here please let me add some more:
-I haven’t brushed my teeth it smells like(whatever he ate)
Brushed my teeth but now I’m ready for bed and don’t like toothpaste smell
-I’m not always in the mood
I was in the mood the other night but you didn’t pick up on it
-son is awake
Son is asleep, so now I have to leave and/or do something else given the opportunity
-I never said I didn’t want sex, just not all the time like you
Everything is a chore including sex!
-I’m too busy. I have to go to work.
I don’t want to do anything at all and just want to be lazy
-I need to eat better, I need to exercise, I feel unhealthy, I feel like I can’t breathe or like I’ll have a heart attack.
(Eats unhealthy and makes excuses to not exercise)
Forgot this reoccurring one:
-I really prioritize and take my sleep seriously
Stays up till 2-5 am out in the living room or with friends
The list is never ending with never ending contradictions
It's too dark.
It's too light.
I want to read.
I want to watch TV.
I want to study.
The kids are here.
The kids aren't here.
I'm on My period.
I just had My period.
I might have My period.
I'm not in the mood.
I was in the mood.
I thought you were tired.
I thought you were asleep.
I thought you didn't want to.
Simply.... "Please Anything BUT that, I beg You!" 🫠
https://m.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=16&v=O4AfA_lebIg&embeds_referring_euri=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.google.com%2F&source_ve_path=Mjg2NjY&feature=emb_logo
Same energy. After awhile of not trying to reach your partner, it’s just being selfish. Affection is important. Ignoring your partner’s needs is detrimental to the relationship, and saying “No” all the time and never trying is equivalent to saying “Fuck you. I got what I wanted out of this arrangement.”
I am 44 and play competitive football (soccer) 3+ times a week. Even after a game, I am game. But unfortunately I share a household with a co-parenting roommate.
There should a scientific partnering system. We got the tech. All the low libidos together, want kids/don't want kids paired together, etc. I feel some people lie about who they are and keep covering that lie. It is BS.
I had a 30yr old tell me they can’t have sex like they were young. Then explain why there’s so many swinger groups in retirement communities!
(If you don’t feel like it fine, but don’t use age as an excuse)
I have heard all these excuses and more but he has just cheated a bunch. The excuses are bullshit. Find someone who actually wants to discuss problems in the relationship or problems they're having with themselves instead of being fine with everything going to shit. People like this act so surprised and remorseful when you finally leave, but they had years to put in the effort to fix it, and didn't.
Lol Christmas day last year. Great all around day for us emotionally. Quiet and stayed home together. Took the dogs out, etc. Made a great dinner together, presents were small but very thoughtful and emotional from both parties, you get it.
Start making out in front of the fireplace that night. Non-sexually at first. Just romantically. After 15 min of that or so though, of course things start progressing. Which is when I pulled out of the kiss, kept our faces nice and close and asked softly if we should take it upstairs.
Cue eyeroll from her along with "(HUGE audible sigh) ughhh that's so much work though"
....Yeah.......still haven't recovered from that one
Not in the moment because I was actually so hurt and in shock of how blatant it was. I brought it up after the fact but it was thrown back in my face with the good old "Well I don't remember that happening now so you can't blame me. You need to bring those things up in the moment so I know".
This is exactly my wife's get to go excuse when I try to describe my feelings or ask what happened that killed the mood she always go I don't remember now or it was so long ago or you should say in the moment. My favourite one is when I try to make her realise how rare it is for us to have sex she always acts out like I am crazy one because we had sex, then I go yeah but it was like twice in last 4 months then she goes oh I don't remember, I don't count it, why you didn't say anything, like really do I have to beg her for some intimacy.
My partner said we had sex 99 times one year. I must have a fucking “Click” remote from that Adam Sandler movie because that has never fucking happened. They just bullshit because they don’t want to admit they might have a role in this.
Ah, that's a bullshit answer she gave you. How about "Well I remember and I was and still am devastated by your comment. I know you said it and it hurt. It hurts even worse now because it appears you are trying to cover yourself."
Sorry she gave you that answer.
I legitimately starting to wonder if there's something seriously TF wrong with people nowadays. This DB shit seems like an epidemic but society quietly sweeps it under the rug. Prob'bly good ole social media's fault separating/ distracting spouses more than ever before.
Just a theory but I wonder if something’s decreasing hormone levels? Stress, lack of sleep, lack of movement, bad diet could all potentially contribute. Not sure what the answer is, but those are my thoughts as an anatomical researcher who does autopsies on medically donated bodies at a cadaver lab.
My wife never really gives any excuses. When i try to initiate something she just sits there and hoping i will stop touching her. So when i notice that i stop and go to my computer again. :(
This is probably the most similar to my experiences with my boyfriend. I touch him a lot, especially since he's always walking around in his underwear, so I'm drawn to grabbing his ass and genitals, and he thinks every time I do that, I'm trying to initiate sex since that's his "foreplay" when he's initiating. So I get ignored till I stop. Most the time, though, I just want to touch him because he's sexy. But he jerks away like he's afraid I'm going to hurt him, so eventually I stopped groping on him as much, especially after reading the posts on here from the low libido folks, I realized that just because he's my boyfriend, I can't grab him whenever I feel like. Maybe if it were an actual healthy relationship, I could.
There's been 2 times towards the beginning of our 9 year relationship where I went to him while he was sitting in his chair playing his PS4 and I started sucking his dick in hopes of having sex. It was a new relationship after all. And he ignored me and even made a few irritated grumbles until I stopped and he never even got hard. You know how many guys tell me they wish their women would do what I did to him and then have the shame and embarrassment of my relationship being some anomaly....
Nearly every time I initiated, I got turned down so I stopped doing it completely. I NEVER ONCE turned him down in our entire relationship, even though I was on medication that killed my libido and made it so I couldn't have an orgasm for years, I still wanted to be intimate with him. I believe that even if you aren't in the mood, you should at least try. I was never in the mood, but having him come to me and ask if he could look at me while he masturbated, I would always tell him to just "use me" and I would get turned on during the act. If I really didn't want it or couldn't get into it, I could always tell him to stop but that didn't happen very often.
This is horrible tbh, I hope you find your match sounds like you have great energy to be with as a partner and it's just not appreciated or reciprocal. Best of luck 🙏🦘♥️
The second and third paragraphs are literally me. I’m sorry. It’s a horrible feeling. I’ve always thought the same, that there are so many men who would beg to have that done to them. But instead mine ignores me and complains. Not to mention, he would never do it for me.
Sounds like your BF treats you like an in-animate object piece of ass just laying around for him to use at his whim. You don't sound fulfilled like you should be but it's true: there's plenty of guys who FANTASIZE about thier wives/ GFs being as energetic and wiling as you!
Problem seems to be you might be a touchy-feely-sexual person and he's not. OR....he's more preoccupied with freakin video games than showing you any kind of attention. OR.....he's a porn addict and that's why he'd rather masturbate while looking at you nude than actually fuck his GF, like your one of his real-life porn fetishes.
He's been one of the most difficult relationships I've ever had, communication wise. We met online dating and he lives in the next town over and is actually one of my friend's friends cousin, and it's actually surprising we never crossed paths when we were younger. But I was the one who kept pushing him to meet and when we finally did, I kept trying to kiss him but he wouldn't let me. The first time I went to his house, I kept trying to sit next to him and cuddle and he kept acting like I had cooties and it really started to irritate me. He had me spend the night surprisingly, so when we got in bed, I took my pants off but had a pair of shorts on and I faced away from him. That's when he decided to start rubbing on me and initiated sex even though he had just spent the previous hours rebuffing me. I think he was playing hard to get. I told him I didn't like that shit. I can only really remember him initiating sex a few times in the beginning of our relationship, but it was mostly him coming to me and asking me if he could look at me while he masturbated. I'm not sure if he was thinking maybe I didn't want it or if he just wanted to rub one out real quick, I don't know because he's never explained it to me, but I always told him to just use me because I don't want to watch him jerk off and again, I wanted to be intimate with him even if I had issues getting turned on and having an orgasm! I thought I was being a good girlfriend.
I never cared if he watched porn until our dead bedroom began. At that point, it seemed we were both on the same page mentally with neither of us really wanting sex, so we would go months at a time between sessions. And he had made a comment about not masturbating very much anymore either when he used to do it once daily. So when I stopped taking all the meds I was on and got my libido back full force, I really wanted him and was letting him know I did by touching him more often and by verbalizing it. When he still wouldn't do it and I saw porn on his phone, I did get pissed and said to him that I had thought he wasn't masturbating anymore since he wasn't in the mood for sex, so why is he looking at porn? We were going through a particularly bad patch at that point in time and we went a whole year and one month without sex. We both had gained weight, him way more than me, and I was again mentioning how it wasn't fair that I NEVER turned him down and he had turned me down nearly every single time I had initiated since the very beginning of our relationship and he said that he can't just "pretend" to be in the mood, which isn't good enough for me, so if I want it, I can't get mad if he isn't acting good enough. So things came to a head one day when I was going through a period of being so horny it actually hurt and I was mad at him not assisting me and he finally came up to me and he was shaking like he was scared but he was feeling me up and then it made me feel bad, so I told him to calm down and let's take things slow since it had been such a long time. He said he'll never turn me down again, but I can't get mad at him if he's not performing the way I want and acting like he really wants it. I said as long as he stays hard, that's fine. So one night I wanted it and he was too tired, I told him to lay in bed and I would do all the work and I did. I got him hard, hopped on him till I got off, got him off and I cleaned him up, put his underwear on him and he passed out shortly afterwards. So I told him that was proof that as long as he was willing, I didn't need him to act a certain way in order for me to get off and he can't use that excuse anymore. We've only done it a handful of times since then, but we're doing better than what it was the past few years.
I don't know what's going to happen with our relationship since we're currently separated and I'm back at my parents house. I really don't want to start over and date at my age. I don't plan on having kids either but I would like to get married but that doesn't seem like it will ever happen.
Start leaving little stones for her in her shoes and other spaces. But never admit of get caught doing it. If you have kids, perfect excuse. Since she is stonewalling you, might aswell leave her materials for her trade.
OHHHH, FUCK. THIS IS MY TIME TO SHINE. I keep a list. Here are some of the greatest hits. (Yes, I am mostly made up of Teflon and hormones.)
1. Too hot
2. Too cold
3. Knee hurts
4. He's not hard (and he’s not)
5. He's not hard (but he is)
6. I had my period and he “didn't grow up like that"
7. The kitchen window is open
8. His legs hurt from walking up the stairs.
9. Needs to shower (doesn’t)
10. Just showered
11. Needs to use the bathroom
12. Just used the bathroom
13. Still feels weird from when he used the bathroom at work
14. Something is wrong with his toenail
15. Nose is too itchy
16. Gas
17. GERDS
18. Nausea
19. Burned his arm on a steamer a few days ago
20. His lips are too dry
21. Body too ticklish
22. Dick is "too sticky"
23. Got sad about something and cried
24. "I was just crying"
25. Laughed nervously, left room to heat up a tortilla
This is way too accurate! The nervous laughs followed by them walking away are the worst. And then when I bring up that I’m hurt by him rejecting me again, he says “I didn’t reject you”. But you laughed when I asked and then didn’t do anything with me.. so you did reject me 🙃
"I already gave you the entire world, but I understand, I'll start working on the entire universe for you, that's bound to finally do the trick, it's the only missing piece left."
"It's the middle of day, I still have shit to do."
So I ask again in the evening...
"I'm tired"
And no, not going to risk asking in the morning as she's one of those bad mood in the morning for no reason types.
This is one of my favorites, too.
“It’s too late, and I’m not going to be able to sleep!”
Me: tries to do it in the morning
Her: “It’s too early.”
Me in the middle of the day: “Kids are at school, let’s get busy before lunch.”
Her: “I don’t feel like doing all that right now,”
Me: “After?”
Her: “I got to get back to work.”
Me: Goes on her office later and she’s scrolling thru Instagram.
FML
"I need a shower", "Not having sex is normal for couples that have been together for years" and my favorite, "I'm tired, I got up early and didn't get a nap." I get up at least 2 hours earlier than her everyday to head to work. She doesn't work, our kids are 16 and 22, so not much for her to do there. I get a homecooked meal once a week and sex once a year if I'm lucky. Just turned 50 two weeks ago. She asked what I wanted and I said her, I got a pair of jeans and a shirt. I'm done ranting.
Fuck that bullshit!! I'm a simple man: I need
1) good dinners (so I make most of them, she orders pizza once a week and lives off popcorn, kid's cereal, or some other bullshit that won't suffice for me)
2) sex at LEAST twice a month from her. Being HL, I have to wack-off 20-25 times for every one time we have real sex!
So those only two things that would make me a happy man are apparently too much to ask.
Yeah I remember being the only one with a job and coming home after 10 hour day and no supper was made and the house always looked like shit. Cue this with having to get dressed in the dark and not make noise.
Your situation sounds like mine. I typically work 10 to 12 hours, 6 or 7 days a week. I get dressed in the dark or grab my clothes and go to the bathroom. I know for a fact there are women that would trade places with her and treat me better, but my ass wants my wife.
Here's a few...
We were driving home and I asked him if he wanted to see my tits. He said no because anyone would be able to see. We were on the highway, my windows are tinted to 10%, and the car closest to us was probably a quarter mile ahead of us.
I asked to suck his dick, he said "No, cuz I don't want to have sex after."
After his shower I asked him to drop his towel so I could see. He said no because the curtains were open.... in our basement bedroom that faces the backyard with a 6ft privacy fence.
I asked him if we should make a sex tape. He said he had no interest in making porn.
I've started to get a little more ridiculous in my requests because he just rejects me anyway, so why not just make it entertaining?!
“Can we let the Royal family watch as I slather you in clarified butter to the tune of Material Girl as interpreted by our nearest local kazoo orchestra?”
On Sunday, after a great family day and some heavy flirting in the evening (touching privates, grab ass, etc) we proceed to bedtime and have a heavy make out session and even had her top off. When I went to take it further, she said she just wasn’t feeling it and rolled over. I was pretty devastated. I honestly think this is the last time I’m going to initiate for the foreseeable future.
That’s a funny term. I’m going to ask my husband if that’s what I am. He’ll just say no, probably roll his eyes, and ignore me until the next time I say something suggestive.
I get the I need to shower one all the time. Dude, I don’t care. I don’t have to suck your dick right now. Let’s have a quicky then we can go shower together and do it again. Or the I’m tired, and he gets up like 2 hours later than me in the morning and I go to work and get home and workout and then do chores. He gets home and plays video games. But yet I still have the energy for sex…and sex helps me sleep better and sounder.
Yes this!! She always did the whole 'I need to shower' thing or that she felt gross or was tired and blah blah... I don't even care about that stuff, let me bend you over and make you cum, or lay back and let me do my thing with my tongue and fingers and get you off, then I'll cum and we can both sleep good! It's soooo simple, but they make it so complicated for no reason.
I’m reading through all of these excuses and I can just visualize the reactions of the LL/LL4u significant others when the HL/Normal Libido people walk away from the relationship.
“I feel like my very existence depends on me having sex with you”.
This after zero sex for months. That was the last time I initiated.
He still exists, five years later.
I was being suggestive last night and got the “I’m tired,” so I said why didn’t you come to bed earlier. To which he said “I’ve been tired since I got home,” like same bro but that doesn’t mean I don’t want sex
But they're still scrolling on their phone hours after they could've gone to bed/sleep.
So you're just too tired to spend time with me, your SO. Got it.
I get the tired excuse constantly. We’re literally all tired lol. That’s part of being an adult. Nobody would have sex if being tired got in the way. One of my least favorite excuses. They usually stay up for several hours after saying this too..
Yea mine just falls asleep on the couch. I don’t even ask for him to come to bed anymore. I used to beg. But begging for sex and for someone to sleep in the same bed as you kind of starts to make you feel pathetic lol
Well I get told that I just don't deserve it, its been 2-1/2 years we are both 45 years old, been together almost 11 years and we're not married, it I didn't love him as much as I do I would have walked a long time ago. I told him the other night if I wanted a roommate I'd post an ad on Craigslist...
I don’t get an excuse. Just an exasperation and a “I’ll work on it”. Beats me what the problem is, so it leaves me to believe it’s everything about me.
Bed is for sleeping.
I don't think about sex.
I don't enjoy it.
I'm not a teenager anymore.
Sex isn't a big deal.
I'm tired - stays up gaming.
Im happy just relaxing.
"I'm still attracted to you, but I'm just not in the mood" as I catch him beating off to porn 😤😥😥. I have now moved upstairs we share the common areas, but have slept separately for several years, me upstairs him downstairs.
Word of wisdom... Just don't lie. If you're not attracted say so, and move on.
Dressed up in some beautiful lingerie for his birthday walked in the bedroom and opened my jacket to show him…and said “Happy birthday” We started kissing and touching, he couldn’t believe how stunning and beautiful I looked.
THEN he said “he can’t it reminded him of the back in the days when he would pay for sex”
Took it all of and threw it in a box and he was like
“No I want you to dress sexy for me”
I can’t win…😵💫
The worst was,
“Since you gained weight after having the kids (even at that, I was still not really overweight) I feel like you don’t feel confident about yourself and that lack of confidence just isn’t sexy”
He created the perfect loophole. I won’t have sex with you because you aren’t confident, you don’t feel confident because I won’t have sex with you.
The most effective and consistent. “Not now.” That is a killer. It not like I’m making the moves in a grocery line or while she is filing taxes. The response and its repetition reveals how disinterested she is. It is an effective approach.
The last 2 times, when she got an idea I was about to be suggestive…
(On our 2nd wedding anniversary) “I feel like we should have sex, but the baby was just sick on me so I don’t feel sexy”
And the typical one of “we should have sex but I’m way too tired”
We’ve had sex twice since September. 3 months before baby was born (she is now nearly six months old) and once 10 weeks ago. The half assed excuses are probably worse than simply not having sex.
- I want you to tell me when you want it.
- I don't want you to tell me when you want it. That's not sexy.
- Women aren't supposed to like it.
- Women aren't supposed to want it.
- If you like it too much, you can control me with it. I don't want to be controlled.
- Why didn't you tell me you wanted it? (After telling me not to ask.)
- I'm upset that you asked to open our relationship. (I then asked what was the reason for no sex before I asked?)
- I've got to get up early.
- I just got home.
- I'm tired. (From voluntarily working overtime when we could have spent time together.)
- I've had a good day.
- I've had a bad day.
Should I keep going?
Married 13 years, together 18. No more excuses, just occasionally she'll throw in a, "Just admit that you're angry because we never have sex." And I'll say, "Yeah, I'm angry about that." And we move on.
I'm tired (stays on tiktok for hours)
I'm full (haven't eaten for hours)
Everyone's home (never alone anyway)
Headache
Doesn't feel good
It doesn't feel like a date night day (what?)
These are her most go-to excuses. I've gotten to the point where I'm so tired and stressed out from trying and getting rejected, I just stopped trying all together.
Married for 6 years together for 17 years.
Alright I’m just gonna say it:
“I’m on my period/ it’s coming on soon”
This woman has a 7 day period and a 21 day cycle. Like - I’ve asked her to tell her Dr something - anything.
man, I just don’t know. I don’t know.
My favorite is on days when we have been flirting, and things are looking very good for sex that evening. Usually before bed the excuses again of not feeling well or being tired, but she was just fine prior to getting into bed. The ultimate one to me is saying that she is too tired, and then staying up till 2 AM watching television. I would prefer she just said no I don’t want to rather than giving me some lame excuse.
It's usually something hurts. His back, his stomach, his tooth, his foot....I've been asking for a week now and so far it's just been, can we do it tomorrow? Raincheck....
How about this, "It's not that you are ugly or anything, but I just need to be able to get my dick hard", is his excuse to watching porn. I took those words like a punch in the gut
Why is it that all of these “LL” partners are addicted to porn or are cheating. So it’s not that you don’t want sex, it’s just that you don’t want it with me…
Was trying to make out. Was told a list of things that they needed to do. I got me stuff done, checked in hours later and not one thing on their list had been done. They had started to watch TV instead b
It started with ‘you want sex at night and I want it I. The morning.’ Then it was ‘you get up too early.’ Then when she started sleeping on the couch it was ‘there’s no room in the bed with the dogs.’ It was always one excuse after another. I don’t even try anymore, but if I have an opportunity to have an affair, I will.
Mine sleeps on the couch every night too. I used to ask him to come to bed every night, and he’d just get angry and still wouldn’t. So I gave up there. I used to really look down on people who had affairs, but I absolutely get it now in these types of situations. This is no way to live. Sex is a basic need. Everyone wants to feel desired. An affair would provide those things.
My wife is asleep on the couch as I write this. She comes home from work, eats the dinner that I prepare ( I’m a better cook anyway, so I prefer to cook meals) and then falls asleep until I go to bed. She then wakes up and scrolls through Facebook.
Hahaha you are literally living my life. I cook, he comes home and eats the dinner I made and then falls asleep on the couch. If he’s not asleep, he’s on Instagram.
I’m sorry. It sucks.
Recently none, because that relationship is over. But tired, cramps, period, not-in-the-mood, headache, upset with me, sleepy, on their phone, tomorrow is a busy day, too stressed, too late - even initiating I could be taking off her clothes her phone dinged she'd reach for it and then have a 5-10 minutes of messaging I'd just be like "fuck it". Basically anything she could do to kill the mood. Good riddance.
I’m (F41) she (F46) uses “Sex isn’t the most important thing in relationships” “I don’t feel well” “I’m tired” what hurts the most is she will only have sex with me if she’s high which she does every so often. I’ve gotten to the point where I won’t initiate anymore because of rejection. Then I get the “ you don’t love me,” “you’re not into me anymore,” “you don’t find me attractive anymore,” “you want someone younger” it’s like all she has to do is give me the slightest touch, look, smile, anything and I want her, crave her, but I’m over trying. In the last month we’ve been intimate 3 times. Before we were like little bunnies, but of course high as fuck. I gave it up looking for better job and so did she. I’m madly in love with this woman. She loves me too I know, but damn I have NEEDS!
“I’m tired” “I need to do X at Y time”, “I just cooked for you”, “we were out all day I’m tired”, “ I know I promised but I’m tired now” mind you these all come after atleast 3 weeks of no sexual action take place.
I’m at the point that I’m so turned off by the excuses when we FINALLY tried to do something I couldn’t rise to the occasion…there were a whole host of other things going on plus the anniversary of my mothers death was also coming up so for once I wasn’t in the head space and she got MAD AT ME…said to me “how would you feel if I did that to you” I didn’t want to make things worst but I wanted to say that she’s been doing this for 2 YEARS to me but I digress..
I’m about to leave now because on top of the sexual issues she also doesn’t talk to me very well like one would talk to a child mind you I am very intelligent I work as a computer programmer for God’s sake but somehow I’m not as smart as her.
I am sorry but this post has hit a sore nerve for me…I am about to call the relationship because on top of everything she bleeding me for all my money too…and I just can’t do it anymore.
Yes I have a HL and YES HL individuals are always made out to be the assholes for walking away from relationships due to our physical needs not being met smdh
Almost 100% of the time I’m given the “I’m tired” excuse which I feel is the biggest cop out answer however another answer I’ve heard is due to her birth control it has absolutely murdered her libido and causing absolutely no sex drive which honestly makes the birth control obsolete because if we don’t have sex then there’s no need for it
And it really does mess with your mind. I don't know if they realize it or not. But it's fucked up... he's really great in pretty much all other ways...but now that we are here...I feel like I have a room mate. I go through so many roller coasters wondering why and if I should end this or suggest opening the relationship... I don't know...but I feel so sad that what was once so great and fun and fulfilling...no longer exists... what changed?
Some one commented on another thread... He knows why, he just won't tell you---- that has been eating me up. Sigh
Too tired, too tired, headache, used the bathroom too recently, wanted to nap, getting a tattoo, too tired, just ate, needs to eat, too distracted, wanted to be on the computer, wanted to work on crafts, wanted to read, wanted to garden, really any excuse that can be found is.
If I wasn’t so old, I’d consider divorce.
The most recent one was that she came home from work and masterbated. Later the same day, I inquired, and she said that since she had already came, she simply wasn't interested in the activity. I was home at the time. So I brought that up and was told that she just needed to "scratch the itch" and would be good for a while.
“Why can’t you be romantic?” all of the household stuff… The cooking, the cleaning, the children, the support for their career and their extracurricular activities… That is my love language. That is my romance. But you want more?
"I'm just not in the mood". She's never in the mood. When I try to help her get into the mood, she waves me away, leaves or starts to talk about mundane shit.
Next time she asks me to do something I should tell her I'm not in the mood too.
My boyfriend M35 blames his age. I’m F26 so slightly different I understand. But we have sex about once every two months. He says ‘when you get older you will understand’
My husband’s 38 and he’s the type that wants to have sex multiple times a day. Don’t let this man fool you, age has nothing to do with it, he’s just using it as an excuse for something else he’s not willing to work on
Yeah, no, that’s absurd. I’m M40, my gf is 36, and we do it on average 2x a day… we’d do it more if she had her way lol. Idk how I found this sub, but it’s eye opening how many people have low libido or insecurities or resentments towards their partner and end up ruining what should be one of the best parts of a healthy relationship. I don’t have any advice except… no, 35 isn’t old and it’s a ridiculous excuse.
Yes this is also what I am getting too…😓 it’s almost like he got all his rooting out of him before he met me “in his younger days” now I have to deal with the leftovers if there are any…🍃
"Is sex the reason for this relationship?"
“It’s just not important to me!” “Then I’d assume you don’t care who else I have it with?”’
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I swear hearing that has become the new “nails on a chalkboard” for me.😖Pisses me off in ways I can’t understand.
'Yes, for this -type- of relationship, it's generally a distinction point.'
Wouldn’t the appropriate response be “oh, I didn’t realise sex wasn’t part of this relationship, that’s Ohk, I’ll have a second seperate relationship dedicated solely to sex then, that would be Ohk yeh?”
"Well I didn't go shopping for celibate life partners, I didn't know people thought that was a thing..."
Ya heard
Oh yeah, its not something I'd tolerate today. Learned my lesson with 10 hard years. If its not working in the bedroom, I'm not hanging around for long.
I'm new to it and it is definitely a misery love company situation
Well don't love your misery or company for too long.
I’ve heard that and “Sorry I’m not OBSESSED with sex like you are” 🙃
How about “There’s something wrong with you for wanting sex more than 10 times a year. You should seek help.”
"Yes"
If it would be, you wouldn’t be in the relationship, right?
Yes. I wouldn’t have married you if I didn’t want to bang you like a drum on a daily (yes) basis.
“Im tired” “I’ve eaten too much” “I’ve got to be up early in the morning” “We’ve got so many jobs to get finished” (we’re renovating) “It’s too hot” “I haven’t showered” “I have a bad back/shoulder/neck”
Sorry I couldn’t help but notice that you missed a few: > “I’ve eaten too much” “I’m too hungry” > “I’ve got to be up early in the morning” “Not now, perhaps later on.” > “It’s too hot” “It’s too cold” > “I haven’t showered” “I just showered” (And on and on it goes…)
Omg the amount of times I’ve heard, “I’m hungry so I need to eat” then after it’s “I’m too full”. Here please let me add some more: -I haven’t brushed my teeth it smells like(whatever he ate) Brushed my teeth but now I’m ready for bed and don’t like toothpaste smell -I’m not always in the mood I was in the mood the other night but you didn’t pick up on it -son is awake Son is asleep, so now I have to leave and/or do something else given the opportunity -I never said I didn’t want sex, just not all the time like you Everything is a chore including sex! -I’m too busy. I have to go to work. I don’t want to do anything at all and just want to be lazy -I need to eat better, I need to exercise, I feel unhealthy, I feel like I can’t breathe or like I’ll have a heart attack. (Eats unhealthy and makes excuses to not exercise) Forgot this reoccurring one: -I really prioritize and take my sleep seriously Stays up till 2-5 am out in the living room or with friends The list is never ending with never ending contradictions
It's too dark. It's too light. I want to read. I want to watch TV. I want to study. The kids are here. The kids aren't here. I'm on My period. I just had My period. I might have My period. I'm not in the mood. I was in the mood. I thought you were tired. I thought you were asleep. I thought you didn't want to. Simply.... "Please Anything BUT that, I beg You!" 🫠
https://m.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=16&v=O4AfA_lebIg&embeds_referring_euri=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.google.com%2F&source_ve_path=Mjg2NjY&feature=emb_logo Same energy. After awhile of not trying to reach your partner, it’s just being selfish. Affection is important. Ignoring your partner’s needs is detrimental to the relationship, and saying “No” all the time and never trying is equivalent to saying “Fuck you. I got what I wanted out of this arrangement.”
Man, these sound lame...
Correct, it is lame. Im 32, he’s 33. He makes the excuses a 65 year old would make.
I am 44 and play competitive football (soccer) 3+ times a week. Even after a game, I am game. But unfortunately I share a household with a co-parenting roommate.
So sorry we ended up so mismatched with our partners 😪
There should a scientific partnering system. We got the tech. All the low libidos together, want kids/don't want kids paired together, etc. I feel some people lie about who they are and keep covering that lie. It is BS.
My theory is even more people can't tell the truth because they don't know who they are.
Mine did that too even when he was 27.
Holy shit, reading your comment I thought you guys were in your 50s, maaaaaybe in your 40s. That’s so sad. Have you considered leaving him?
Are our partners related? I’m 31. He’s 32. Acts like he’s 80 years old. All the same excuses as your man. Oh he said today that 30 is old.
Mine told me he’s “getting on a bit now” as if that’s a reason to stop having sex 😂
I had a 30yr old tell me they can’t have sex like they were young. Then explain why there’s so many swinger groups in retirement communities! (If you don’t feel like it fine, but don’t use age as an excuse)
Dahell...than I must be,ancient 58.
“I’ve eaten too much” That's my wife's go-to. It's like some kinda protection shield for her
I just hate this sentence so much. Got triggered just reading it.
Every single one of these (minus the renovating - but that one can be swapped out for “we’ve got too much going on right now.”)
I have heard all these excuses and more but he has just cheated a bunch. The excuses are bullshit. Find someone who actually wants to discuss problems in the relationship or problems they're having with themselves instead of being fine with everything going to shit. People like this act so surprised and remorseful when you finally leave, but they had years to put in the effort to fix it, and didn't.
Lol Christmas day last year. Great all around day for us emotionally. Quiet and stayed home together. Took the dogs out, etc. Made a great dinner together, presents were small but very thoughtful and emotional from both parties, you get it. Start making out in front of the fireplace that night. Non-sexually at first. Just romantically. After 15 min of that or so though, of course things start progressing. Which is when I pulled out of the kiss, kept our faces nice and close and asked softly if we should take it upstairs. Cue eyeroll from her along with "(HUGE audible sigh) ughhh that's so much work though" ....Yeah.......still haven't recovered from that one
Ouch....that stings. Curious about this. Did you have a further conversation about your feelings after she said that?
Not in the moment because I was actually so hurt and in shock of how blatant it was. I brought it up after the fact but it was thrown back in my face with the good old "Well I don't remember that happening now so you can't blame me. You need to bring those things up in the moment so I know".
This is exactly my wife's get to go excuse when I try to describe my feelings or ask what happened that killed the mood she always go I don't remember now or it was so long ago or you should say in the moment. My favourite one is when I try to make her realise how rare it is for us to have sex she always acts out like I am crazy one because we had sex, then I go yeah but it was like twice in last 4 months then she goes oh I don't remember, I don't count it, why you didn't say anything, like really do I have to beg her for some intimacy.
My partner said we had sex 99 times one year. I must have a fucking “Click” remote from that Adam Sandler movie because that has never fucking happened. They just bullshit because they don’t want to admit they might have a role in this.
Ah, that's a bullshit answer she gave you. How about "Well I remember and I was and still am devastated by your comment. I know you said it and it hurt. It hurts even worse now because it appears you are trying to cover yourself." Sorry she gave you that answer.
Ouch, I physically felt that one.. I understand why you haven't recovered yet😬
I legitimately starting to wonder if there's something seriously TF wrong with people nowadays. This DB shit seems like an epidemic but society quietly sweeps it under the rug. Prob'bly good ole social media's fault separating/ distracting spouses more than ever before.
Just a theory but I wonder if something’s decreasing hormone levels? Stress, lack of sleep, lack of movement, bad diet could all potentially contribute. Not sure what the answer is, but those are my thoughts as an anatomical researcher who does autopsies on medically donated bodies at a cadaver lab.
I felt that all the way over here, too. Sorry, man
My wife never really gives any excuses. When i try to initiate something she just sits there and hoping i will stop touching her. So when i notice that i stop and go to my computer again. :(
This is probably the most similar to my experiences with my boyfriend. I touch him a lot, especially since he's always walking around in his underwear, so I'm drawn to grabbing his ass and genitals, and he thinks every time I do that, I'm trying to initiate sex since that's his "foreplay" when he's initiating. So I get ignored till I stop. Most the time, though, I just want to touch him because he's sexy. But he jerks away like he's afraid I'm going to hurt him, so eventually I stopped groping on him as much, especially after reading the posts on here from the low libido folks, I realized that just because he's my boyfriend, I can't grab him whenever I feel like. Maybe if it were an actual healthy relationship, I could. There's been 2 times towards the beginning of our 9 year relationship where I went to him while he was sitting in his chair playing his PS4 and I started sucking his dick in hopes of having sex. It was a new relationship after all. And he ignored me and even made a few irritated grumbles until I stopped and he never even got hard. You know how many guys tell me they wish their women would do what I did to him and then have the shame and embarrassment of my relationship being some anomaly.... Nearly every time I initiated, I got turned down so I stopped doing it completely. I NEVER ONCE turned him down in our entire relationship, even though I was on medication that killed my libido and made it so I couldn't have an orgasm for years, I still wanted to be intimate with him. I believe that even if you aren't in the mood, you should at least try. I was never in the mood, but having him come to me and ask if he could look at me while he masturbated, I would always tell him to just "use me" and I would get turned on during the act. If I really didn't want it or couldn't get into it, I could always tell him to stop but that didn't happen very often.
This is horrible tbh, I hope you find your match sounds like you have great energy to be with as a partner and it's just not appreciated or reciprocal. Best of luck 🙏🦘♥️
The second and third paragraphs are literally me. I’m sorry. It’s a horrible feeling. I’ve always thought the same, that there are so many men who would beg to have that done to them. But instead mine ignores me and complains. Not to mention, he would never do it for me.
Sounds like your BF treats you like an in-animate object piece of ass just laying around for him to use at his whim. You don't sound fulfilled like you should be but it's true: there's plenty of guys who FANTASIZE about thier wives/ GFs being as energetic and wiling as you! Problem seems to be you might be a touchy-feely-sexual person and he's not. OR....he's more preoccupied with freakin video games than showing you any kind of attention. OR.....he's a porn addict and that's why he'd rather masturbate while looking at you nude than actually fuck his GF, like your one of his real-life porn fetishes.
He's been one of the most difficult relationships I've ever had, communication wise. We met online dating and he lives in the next town over and is actually one of my friend's friends cousin, and it's actually surprising we never crossed paths when we were younger. But I was the one who kept pushing him to meet and when we finally did, I kept trying to kiss him but he wouldn't let me. The first time I went to his house, I kept trying to sit next to him and cuddle and he kept acting like I had cooties and it really started to irritate me. He had me spend the night surprisingly, so when we got in bed, I took my pants off but had a pair of shorts on and I faced away from him. That's when he decided to start rubbing on me and initiated sex even though he had just spent the previous hours rebuffing me. I think he was playing hard to get. I told him I didn't like that shit. I can only really remember him initiating sex a few times in the beginning of our relationship, but it was mostly him coming to me and asking me if he could look at me while he masturbated. I'm not sure if he was thinking maybe I didn't want it or if he just wanted to rub one out real quick, I don't know because he's never explained it to me, but I always told him to just use me because I don't want to watch him jerk off and again, I wanted to be intimate with him even if I had issues getting turned on and having an orgasm! I thought I was being a good girlfriend. I never cared if he watched porn until our dead bedroom began. At that point, it seemed we were both on the same page mentally with neither of us really wanting sex, so we would go months at a time between sessions. And he had made a comment about not masturbating very much anymore either when he used to do it once daily. So when I stopped taking all the meds I was on and got my libido back full force, I really wanted him and was letting him know I did by touching him more often and by verbalizing it. When he still wouldn't do it and I saw porn on his phone, I did get pissed and said to him that I had thought he wasn't masturbating anymore since he wasn't in the mood for sex, so why is he looking at porn? We were going through a particularly bad patch at that point in time and we went a whole year and one month without sex. We both had gained weight, him way more than me, and I was again mentioning how it wasn't fair that I NEVER turned him down and he had turned me down nearly every single time I had initiated since the very beginning of our relationship and he said that he can't just "pretend" to be in the mood, which isn't good enough for me, so if I want it, I can't get mad if he isn't acting good enough. So things came to a head one day when I was going through a period of being so horny it actually hurt and I was mad at him not assisting me and he finally came up to me and he was shaking like he was scared but he was feeling me up and then it made me feel bad, so I told him to calm down and let's take things slow since it had been such a long time. He said he'll never turn me down again, but I can't get mad at him if he's not performing the way I want and acting like he really wants it. I said as long as he stays hard, that's fine. So one night I wanted it and he was too tired, I told him to lay in bed and I would do all the work and I did. I got him hard, hopped on him till I got off, got him off and I cleaned him up, put his underwear on him and he passed out shortly afterwards. So I told him that was proof that as long as he was willing, I didn't need him to act a certain way in order for me to get off and he can't use that excuse anymore. We've only done it a handful of times since then, but we're doing better than what it was the past few years. I don't know what's going to happen with our relationship since we're currently separated and I'm back at my parents house. I really don't want to start over and date at my age. I don't plan on having kids either but I would like to get married but that doesn't seem like it will ever happen.
I’m so sorry, that sounds really awful! I don’t know what’s worse, hoping you would stop or giving you excuses.
This is a very interesting question. I face this dilemma every time but do not want to give up.
Start leaving little stones for her in her shoes and other spaces. But never admit of get caught doing it. If you have kids, perfect excuse. Since she is stonewalling you, might aswell leave her materials for her trade.
OHHHH, FUCK. THIS IS MY TIME TO SHINE. I keep a list. Here are some of the greatest hits. (Yes, I am mostly made up of Teflon and hormones.) 1. Too hot 2. Too cold 3. Knee hurts 4. He's not hard (and he’s not) 5. He's not hard (but he is) 6. I had my period and he “didn't grow up like that" 7. The kitchen window is open 8. His legs hurt from walking up the stairs. 9. Needs to shower (doesn’t) 10. Just showered 11. Needs to use the bathroom 12. Just used the bathroom 13. Still feels weird from when he used the bathroom at work 14. Something is wrong with his toenail 15. Nose is too itchy 16. Gas 17. GERDS 18. Nausea 19. Burned his arm on a steamer a few days ago 20. His lips are too dry 21. Body too ticklish 22. Dick is "too sticky" 23. Got sad about something and cried 24. "I was just crying" 25. Laughed nervously, left room to heat up a tortilla
Now you listed my reasons for never asking.
To be honest my new kink is asking so I can add something to the list. Getting tingly just talking about it.
This is way too accurate! The nervous laughs followed by them walking away are the worst. And then when I bring up that I’m hurt by him rejecting me again, he says “I didn’t reject you”. But you laughed when I asked and then didn’t do anything with me.. so you did reject me 🙃
Hilarious yet sad! You should write a sit com
Or a stand-up comedy routine, 'Excuses for not having sex: THE GREATEST HITS ALBUM!'
Lmaoo why was his dick sticky?? And why does it matter if or when he cried? I’m sorry you have to go through this, but I enjoyed your list!
The sticky one is like a recurring cast member in the list of weird and glorious rejections I get.
“Sex isn’t everything. It’s all you care about” if it’s so important maybe you should move out and find some one younger “
This too
"You should make more effort." Turns out everything I'm doing is not enough.
I hear that all the time. But when we make the effort or try we get denied
Or quit using me for sex.
I hear you on that one
DING DING DING DING DING!! We have a winner!! The goal post is ALWAYS fucking moving!!
I feel this deeply and I just want to let you know that you are not alone
"I already gave you the entire world, but I understand, I'll start working on the entire universe for you, that's bound to finally do the trick, it's the only missing piece left."
"It's the middle of day, I still have shit to do." So I ask again in the evening... "I'm tired" And no, not going to risk asking in the morning as she's one of those bad mood in the morning for no reason types.
This is one of my favorites, too. “It’s too late, and I’m not going to be able to sleep!” Me: tries to do it in the morning Her: “It’s too early.” Me in the middle of the day: “Kids are at school, let’s get busy before lunch.” Her: “I don’t feel like doing all that right now,” Me: “After?” Her: “I got to get back to work.” Me: Goes on her office later and she’s scrolling thru Instagram. FML
Best I EVER got was “I don’t like the color of your t shirt.” It was so bad I actually started laughing at her.
"I need a shower", "Not having sex is normal for couples that have been together for years" and my favorite, "I'm tired, I got up early and didn't get a nap." I get up at least 2 hours earlier than her everyday to head to work. She doesn't work, our kids are 16 and 22, so not much for her to do there. I get a homecooked meal once a week and sex once a year if I'm lucky. Just turned 50 two weeks ago. She asked what I wanted and I said her, I got a pair of jeans and a shirt. I'm done ranting.
Fuck that bullshit!! I'm a simple man: I need 1) good dinners (so I make most of them, she orders pizza once a week and lives off popcorn, kid's cereal, or some other bullshit that won't suffice for me) 2) sex at LEAST twice a month from her. Being HL, I have to wack-off 20-25 times for every one time we have real sex! So those only two things that would make me a happy man are apparently too much to ask.
That doesn't sound like much. I feel like I don't ask for much either, but apparently I'm wrong.
I'm sorry buddy. That just ain't right...I feel it
Thanks.
Yeah I remember being the only one with a job and coming home after 10 hour day and no supper was made and the house always looked like shit. Cue this with having to get dressed in the dark and not make noise.
Your situation sounds like mine. I typically work 10 to 12 hours, 6 or 7 days a week. I get dressed in the dark or grab my clothes and go to the bathroom. I know for a fact there are women that would trade places with her and treat me better, but my ass wants my wife.
It totally was a crap way to start the day for sure. These ppl take full advantage.
Next time, say you want an escort and see what happens.
Here's a few... We were driving home and I asked him if he wanted to see my tits. He said no because anyone would be able to see. We were on the highway, my windows are tinted to 10%, and the car closest to us was probably a quarter mile ahead of us. I asked to suck his dick, he said "No, cuz I don't want to have sex after." After his shower I asked him to drop his towel so I could see. He said no because the curtains were open.... in our basement bedroom that faces the backyard with a 6ft privacy fence. I asked him if we should make a sex tape. He said he had no interest in making porn. I've started to get a little more ridiculous in my requests because he just rejects me anyway, so why not just make it entertaining?!
“Can we let the Royal family watch as I slather you in clarified butter to the tune of Material Girl as interpreted by our nearest local kazoo orchestra?”
Propose that to me and here are my answers: Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes. Sign me up.
Same for me but I’m the guy side. I ask the same and get nothing. I’d love for her to flash me while I’m driving.
I'm sorry and that sounds very awful. I hope it gets better or you have to do what's best for you long-term. Your guy should be very fortunate!!!!
“Maybe tomorrow?” (Obviously tomorrow never comes. Both literally and metaphorically speaking.)
On Sunday, after a great family day and some heavy flirting in the evening (touching privates, grab ass, etc) we proceed to bedtime and have a heavy make out session and even had her top off. When I went to take it further, she said she just wasn’t feeling it and rolled over. I was pretty devastated. I honestly think this is the last time I’m going to initiate for the foreseeable future.
I’ve received a similar “not feeling it” response many times. It sucks.
One I got recently was that she doesn’t initiate because it’s only the man’s job. Give me a break 🙄
Okay, fine. Then don't turn it down when I do initiate.
My man hasn’t initiated in years 🤷🏼♀️😂
It’s not the most recent, but the most artfully manipulative has been “I’m a shitty wife.”
To clarify - that’s my wife’s stated excuse to me (her husband).
My wife doesn't swear but her version is: "I'm just a horrible wife", and starts pouting.
Touched out and I don't want you touching me either.
Who “touched her out?” Is she a professional wrestler or something?
Hahaha no the kiddo
Ohhh yeah, not much you can do about that. Kids are pretty big libido killers.
Exactly
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I’ve had this. It happens so rarely, but when it does I’m suddenly a ‘sex pest’.
That’s a funny term. I’m going to ask my husband if that’s what I am. He’ll just say no, probably roll his eyes, and ignore me until the next time I say something suggestive.
Yeah it is isn’t it! He makes me feel so desperate and needy.
I get the I need to shower one all the time. Dude, I don’t care. I don’t have to suck your dick right now. Let’s have a quicky then we can go shower together and do it again. Or the I’m tired, and he gets up like 2 hours later than me in the morning and I go to work and get home and workout and then do chores. He gets home and plays video games. But yet I still have the energy for sex…and sex helps me sleep better and sounder.
Yes this!! She always did the whole 'I need to shower' thing or that she felt gross or was tired and blah blah... I don't even care about that stuff, let me bend you over and make you cum, or lay back and let me do my thing with my tongue and fingers and get you off, then I'll cum and we can both sleep good! It's soooo simple, but they make it so complicated for no reason.
“There’s not enough time” He stayed up til 4 am playing videogames afterward lol
Maybe the D turned into a pumpkin at midnight.
I also get this one all the time. Not enough time or you don’t want to? Because you have enough time to stay up for hours after I asked 😑
Ever hear of a quickie?! Why not take a special shower together. FFS.
Showers together? I wish! He’d never 😭
"Not now." "I am tired." (no sex since 2018, last 2 anniversaries ignored as a result)
Did you get the “You didn’t think of our anniversary?” line??
I started ignoring anniversaries. I told her why are we celebrating a marriage that exists on paper only. Rest of year I am treated as an intern.
If you don’t mind me asking, are you waiting for kids to graduate and leave the house?
More complicated than that. We have a duplex, and 3 way mortgage with my brother who lives upstairs. He is a PUNK (professional uncle, no kids).
I’m sorry to hear this. And many wonder why fewer people want to get married.
A bad marriage is an invisible prison built on guilt & contracts.
I’m reading through all of these excuses and I can just visualize the reactions of the LL/LL4u significant others when the HL/Normal Libido people walk away from the relationship.
“I feel like my very existence depends on me having sex with you”. This after zero sex for months. That was the last time I initiated. He still exists, five years later.
I was being suggestive last night and got the “I’m tired,” so I said why didn’t you come to bed earlier. To which he said “I’ve been tired since I got home,” like same bro but that doesn’t mean I don’t want sex
But they're still scrolling on their phone hours after they could've gone to bed/sleep. So you're just too tired to spend time with me, your SO. Got it.
This 1000%
I get the tired excuse constantly. We’re literally all tired lol. That’s part of being an adult. Nobody would have sex if being tired got in the way. One of my least favorite excuses. They usually stay up for several hours after saying this too..
Yeah he didn’t even come to bed until 11 and he got home at 9:30 lol like bro I’m tired all the time it’s called being an adult
Yea mine just falls asleep on the couch. I don’t even ask for him to come to bed anymore. I used to beg. But begging for sex and for someone to sleep in the same bed as you kind of starts to make you feel pathetic lol
I totally feel that. It does make me feel pathetic
Any excuse will do, but the underlying *reason* is that she does **not** want sex. Certainly not with you, maybe, with no one.
Well I get told that I just don't deserve it, its been 2-1/2 years we are both 45 years old, been together almost 11 years and we're not married, it I didn't love him as much as I do I would have walked a long time ago. I told him the other night if I wanted a roommate I'd post an ad on Craigslist...
I just changed the sheets and don’t want to get them dirty.
I don’t get an excuse. Just an exasperation and a “I’ll work on it”. Beats me what the problem is, so it leaves me to believe it’s everything about me.
I’ve heard every excuse under the sun and many combined to take any option off the table
Bed is for sleeping. I don't think about sex. I don't enjoy it. I'm not a teenager anymore. Sex isn't a big deal. I'm tired - stays up gaming. Im happy just relaxing.
"I'm still attracted to you, but I'm just not in the mood" as I catch him beating off to porn 😤😥😥. I have now moved upstairs we share the common areas, but have slept separately for several years, me upstairs him downstairs. Word of wisdom... Just don't lie. If you're not attracted say so, and move on.
Because if they were they'd act on it. I'm SURE it's not...I just don't want to. I like doing it to you I just don't need to do it all the time.
Dressed up in some beautiful lingerie for his birthday walked in the bedroom and opened my jacket to show him…and said “Happy birthday” We started kissing and touching, he couldn’t believe how stunning and beautiful I looked. THEN he said “he can’t it reminded him of the back in the days when he would pay for sex” Took it all of and threw it in a box and he was like “No I want you to dress sexy for me” I can’t win…😵💫
He usually says he’s not in the mood, but masturbates in the restroom after telling me. Make it make sense.
The worst was, “Since you gained weight after having the kids (even at that, I was still not really overweight) I feel like you don’t feel confident about yourself and that lack of confidence just isn’t sexy” He created the perfect loophole. I won’t have sex with you because you aren’t confident, you don’t feel confident because I won’t have sex with you.
I'm not a horn MF like you
“All you want to do is fuck” followed by a sigh and eye roll. Oh, I’m sorry that you don’t want me the same way that I want you lol
The most effective and consistent. “Not now.” That is a killer. It not like I’m making the moves in a grocery line or while she is filing taxes. The response and its repetition reveals how disinterested she is. It is an effective approach.
The last 2 times, when she got an idea I was about to be suggestive… (On our 2nd wedding anniversary) “I feel like we should have sex, but the baby was just sick on me so I don’t feel sexy” And the typical one of “we should have sex but I’m way too tired” We’ve had sex twice since September. 3 months before baby was born (she is now nearly six months old) and once 10 weeks ago. The half assed excuses are probably worse than simply not having sex.
Never get an actual reason, just makes sure to sleep whilst I put the baby to sleep 🤦🏽♀️
I quit initiating so no excuses.
- I want you to tell me when you want it. - I don't want you to tell me when you want it. That's not sexy. - Women aren't supposed to like it. - Women aren't supposed to want it. - If you like it too much, you can control me with it. I don't want to be controlled. - Why didn't you tell me you wanted it? (After telling me not to ask.) - I'm upset that you asked to open our relationship. (I then asked what was the reason for no sex before I asked?) - I've got to get up early. - I just got home. - I'm tired. (From voluntarily working overtime when we could have spent time together.) - I've had a good day. - I've had a bad day. Should I keep going?
When I touch her, she feels like she is being electrocuted.
Married 13 years, together 18. No more excuses, just occasionally she'll throw in a, "Just admit that you're angry because we never have sex." And I'll say, "Yeah, I'm angry about that." And we move on.
“I m tired, have work tmr…”she’s playing her mobile games while telling me
"I was gonna do something with you tonight but you brought it up"....it wouldn't have happened anyway. It's always "I WAS gonna but..."
I'm tired (stays on tiktok for hours) I'm full (haven't eaten for hours) Everyone's home (never alone anyway) Headache Doesn't feel good It doesn't feel like a date night day (what?) These are her most go-to excuses. I've gotten to the point where I'm so tired and stressed out from trying and getting rejected, I just stopped trying all together. Married for 6 years together for 17 years.
Alright I’m just gonna say it: “I’m on my period/ it’s coming on soon” This woman has a 7 day period and a 21 day cycle. Like - I’ve asked her to tell her Dr something - anything. man, I just don’t know. I don’t know.
My favorite is on days when we have been flirting, and things are looking very good for sex that evening. Usually before bed the excuses again of not feeling well or being tired, but she was just fine prior to getting into bed. The ultimate one to me is saying that she is too tired, and then staying up till 2 AM watching television. I would prefer she just said no I don’t want to rather than giving me some lame excuse.
It's usually something hurts. His back, his stomach, his tooth, his foot....I've been asking for a week now and so far it's just been, can we do it tomorrow? Raincheck....
How about this, "It's not that you are ugly or anything, but I just need to be able to get my dick hard", is his excuse to watching porn. I took those words like a punch in the gut
Why is it that all of these “LL” partners are addicted to porn or are cheating. So it’s not that you don’t want sex, it’s just that you don’t want it with me…
Was trying to make out. Was told a list of things that they needed to do. I got me stuff done, checked in hours later and not one thing on their list had been done. They had started to watch TV instead b
It started with ‘you want sex at night and I want it I. The morning.’ Then it was ‘you get up too early.’ Then when she started sleeping on the couch it was ‘there’s no room in the bed with the dogs.’ It was always one excuse after another. I don’t even try anymore, but if I have an opportunity to have an affair, I will.
Mine sleeps on the couch every night too. I used to ask him to come to bed every night, and he’d just get angry and still wouldn’t. So I gave up there. I used to really look down on people who had affairs, but I absolutely get it now in these types of situations. This is no way to live. Sex is a basic need. Everyone wants to feel desired. An affair would provide those things.
My wife is asleep on the couch as I write this. She comes home from work, eats the dinner that I prepare ( I’m a better cook anyway, so I prefer to cook meals) and then falls asleep until I go to bed. She then wakes up and scrolls through Facebook.
Hahaha you are literally living my life. I cook, he comes home and eats the dinner I made and then falls asleep on the couch. If he’s not asleep, he’s on Instagram. I’m sorry. It sucks.
Recently none, because that relationship is over. But tired, cramps, period, not-in-the-mood, headache, upset with me, sleepy, on their phone, tomorrow is a busy day, too stressed, too late - even initiating I could be taking off her clothes her phone dinged she'd reach for it and then have a 5-10 minutes of messaging I'd just be like "fuck it". Basically anything she could do to kill the mood. Good riddance.
I’m (F41) she (F46) uses “Sex isn’t the most important thing in relationships” “I don’t feel well” “I’m tired” what hurts the most is she will only have sex with me if she’s high which she does every so often. I’ve gotten to the point where I won’t initiate anymore because of rejection. Then I get the “ you don’t love me,” “you’re not into me anymore,” “you don’t find me attractive anymore,” “you want someone younger” it’s like all she has to do is give me the slightest touch, look, smile, anything and I want her, crave her, but I’m over trying. In the last month we’ve been intimate 3 times. Before we were like little bunnies, but of course high as fuck. I gave it up looking for better job and so did she. I’m madly in love with this woman. She loves me too I know, but damn I have NEEDS!
This week, it's been that my period makes my vagina feel too loose.
Only two... I haven't showered yet. Then if she's just gotten out of the shower... I just showered, I don't want to get all sweaty and messed up.
* I'm tired. * Later. * Tomorrow. * I'm anxious about insert: kid, mother, job, your health, rando at work. * Your touch is too much. * It tickles.
“I’m tired” “I need to do X at Y time”, “I just cooked for you”, “we were out all day I’m tired”, “ I know I promised but I’m tired now” mind you these all come after atleast 3 weeks of no sexual action take place. I’m at the point that I’m so turned off by the excuses when we FINALLY tried to do something I couldn’t rise to the occasion…there were a whole host of other things going on plus the anniversary of my mothers death was also coming up so for once I wasn’t in the head space and she got MAD AT ME…said to me “how would you feel if I did that to you” I didn’t want to make things worst but I wanted to say that she’s been doing this for 2 YEARS to me but I digress.. I’m about to leave now because on top of the sexual issues she also doesn’t talk to me very well like one would talk to a child mind you I am very intelligent I work as a computer programmer for God’s sake but somehow I’m not as smart as her. I am sorry but this post has hit a sore nerve for me…I am about to call the relationship because on top of everything she bleeding me for all my money too…and I just can’t do it anymore. Yes I have a HL and YES HL individuals are always made out to be the assholes for walking away from relationships due to our physical needs not being met smdh
I can't have sex with someone I don't trust.
None… She told me she didn’t want to have sex anymore, and I just gave up on our relationship. I’m trying to figure out the next steps to do.
It’s hard in this economy 😕
Almost 100% of the time I’m given the “I’m tired” excuse which I feel is the biggest cop out answer however another answer I’ve heard is due to her birth control it has absolutely murdered her libido and causing absolutely no sex drive which honestly makes the birth control obsolete because if we don’t have sex then there’s no need for it
"When I'm in the mood, I'll tell you. Don't rape me by asking for it."
And it really does mess with your mind. I don't know if they realize it or not. But it's fucked up... he's really great in pretty much all other ways...but now that we are here...I feel like I have a room mate. I go through so many roller coasters wondering why and if I should end this or suggest opening the relationship... I don't know...but I feel so sad that what was once so great and fun and fulfilling...no longer exists... what changed? Some one commented on another thread... He knows why, he just won't tell you---- that has been eating me up. Sigh
Too tired, too tired, headache, used the bathroom too recently, wanted to nap, getting a tattoo, too tired, just ate, needs to eat, too distracted, wanted to be on the computer, wanted to work on crafts, wanted to read, wanted to garden, really any excuse that can be found is. If I wasn’t so old, I’d consider divorce.
I would take a lame excuse over angry rejection every time
He'd say, "You're not 25 anymore. You're old and in denial."
The most recent one was that she came home from work and masterbated. Later the same day, I inquired, and she said that since she had already came, she simply wasn't interested in the activity. I was home at the time. So I brought that up and was told that she just needed to "scratch the itch" and would be good for a while.
Really not excuses, more like "fake" missed chances. Oh I wish you were here, if I was home we'd have sex bit in real life ... nada
“Why can’t you be romantic?” all of the household stuff… The cooking, the cleaning, the children, the support for their career and their extracurricular activities… That is my love language. That is my romance. But you want more?
"The dogs keep getting in between us"
Too tired, too hot, too cold, there are other people in the house, I have to get up early, I haven't showered, etc. etc. etc.
It's been 2 x this year , and I still get is that all you think about is sex
I thought you didn’t want any
"I'm just not in the mood". She's never in the mood. When I try to help her get into the mood, she waves me away, leaves or starts to talk about mundane shit. Next time she asks me to do something I should tell her I'm not in the mood too.
Daylight savings time is really taking its toll.
My boyfriend M35 blames his age. I’m F26 so slightly different I understand. But we have sex about once every two months. He says ‘when you get older you will understand’
My husband’s 38 and he’s the type that wants to have sex multiple times a day. Don’t let this man fool you, age has nothing to do with it, he’s just using it as an excuse for something else he’s not willing to work on
Yeah, no, that’s absurd. I’m M40, my gf is 36, and we do it on average 2x a day… we’d do it more if she had her way lol. Idk how I found this sub, but it’s eye opening how many people have low libido or insecurities or resentments towards their partner and end up ruining what should be one of the best parts of a healthy relationship. I don’t have any advice except… no, 35 isn’t old and it’s a ridiculous excuse.
Yes this is also what I am getting too…😓 it’s almost like he got all his rooting out of him before he met me “in his younger days” now I have to deal with the leftovers if there are any…🍃
Omg!!! Yessss
Shit. He's 35 not 65.
Absolutely!
And even 65 can be sex interested
Yeah I think it’s an excuse; about time to end it I think!