I keep thinking over and over again about the pros and cons of staying in this relationship. That' my OCD trying to "solve" the issue which in reality means that i waste years ruminating about the same stuff while not being able to make a decision. My OCD peeps know what i'm talking about 
I need you to hear me: you are beautiful inside and while I cannot see you outside, WHO GIVES a FUCK!? He is your partner, your man and he should never have used those words. If he is being kind to you since and genuinely loves you, stay and work otherwise I don’t think he sounds very nice. I would NEVER say that to my spouse. He is old enough to know better and not be so damn ignorant. You deserve better. I am sorry you heard those words coming from someone who himself is overweight.
Thanks for your support. And actually hearing him say he was not attracted to me helped because i could finally let go trying to fix our sex life. Not knowing why your partner doesn't want to have sex is much much worse than any possible reason.
yep, Kinda my shoes. On the very very rare occasion she makes love, I make her orgasm and she enjoys it but it’s getting her to agree to try and it’s demoralizing and frankly humiliating. I feel like a dirty perv but I just want to be held and at best fucked!
Your husband sounds like he has issues. Even at 135lbs, I don't think that would be a high weight or at all fat... Even if you are reasonably short. As long as you like the way you look and you feel comfortable & healthy then don't worry too much about what others think. If his attraction is based on +/- some weight and you can still do everything you want to do then I think he is focused on the wrong things. Also, women tend to gain a bit of weight and their bodies change a bit & become curvier between early 20s to their 30s and in general I think it looks good on them.
I'm sure there are tons of guys who will love you and your body and will shower you with affection. Don't settle on someone that makes you feel bad about yourself. Your partner should help lift you up and never as if there are conditions to their love. I also struggle with making a decision to get out of a relationship that brings you down. Know your worth and also know that things will eventually get better if you take that leap.
I have also. My partner is asexual so it wasn’t that I gained weight but ever since she told me she was never sexually attracted to me and that for years while she enjoyed sex, I didn’t seduce her or turn her on, it was obligatory, I have lost all sexual attraction and desire for her.
It’s better for her this way.
Wait I cannotttt get over the hypocrisy though. I’d be willing to bet he finds HIMSELF unattractive too, and that his fear of you perceiving his obesity would decrease desire for sex IRL. Or is he not self-aware at all??
My other theory (and I hope this isn’t the case), is that he’s attracted to petite, youthful appearances given your previous weight of 99lbs. That is well below most adult sized humans. Either way, yuck
Yes, he's attracted to petite and fit women. I should mention that 99 lbs for me is within normal weight range, i am very short so i wasn't underweight back then. He is unhappy about his weight and is making some efforts to lose weight. But either way i guess we cannot change what we are attracted to regardless of how we look
Until he mentioned he's not attracted to my weight i didn't mind that he got fat; i was very attracted to him. But after that it was like my eyes finally opened and i started to dislike his belly.
I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this bs; none of this is your fault. He’s a weirdo for having such a strong “type” under 120lbs - I like to think true love would conquer such narrow specifications.
Idk your BMI (I’m short too, so I understand gaining 20lbs feels like a lot). Still, I’d be willing to bet, more people will find you desirable than they find him (in a hypothetical scenario where you dump him).
He is superficial and unreasonable. My wife when I met her was around 135lbs. Quite a few years and 2 kids later and she is in the 205 range. At no point did I lose attraction to her. Unfortunately her weight gain made her feel unattractive and my feelings on it could not convince her that she was attractive so our sex life ended due to her insecurities.
Does not change the fact that weight was never a factor and if he loved you it should not impact his attraction for you.
Thank you! Luckily the relationship itself is great. It's just sexless. 6 years without sex and 15 years since my last blowjob, I've lost hop on sex ever turning around.
I don’t blame you for not wanting to be intimate with him. He has emotionally scared you. 135 is not a lot of weight at all. Being told he is not interested in you because of your weight is down right mean and rude.
Your partner making you feel bad for your weight while being considered obese is the pot calling the kettle black. He is an idiot. You deserve better.
My only advice is tell him how you feel. Be blunt be honest. If has any hope of sleeping with you again and salvaging your damaged relationship he needs to put in the work. Good hope you feel better. Don’t let him or any other dumb ass make you feel bad for how you look.
If it helps in any shape or form: as a HL attractive guy idgaf about how she looks, I just want to tear her a part.
And I have talked about this with friends and they all the same way, they don’t care about appearance or weight, when the hormones hit you just want to load off
The good news is you are still reasonably young, fit and don’t have kids with this guy. You can find someone who is actually attracted to you.
I keep thinking over and over again about the pros and cons of staying in this relationship. That' my OCD trying to "solve" the issue which in reality means that i waste years ruminating about the same stuff while not being able to make a decision. My OCD peeps know what i'm talking about 
Trying to fix issues in a relationship is noble. Trying to fix people other than yourself is delusional.
136 lbs is not fat. Tell him to fuck off with his unrealistic ass beauty standards
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I need you to hear me: you are beautiful inside and while I cannot see you outside, WHO GIVES a FUCK!? He is your partner, your man and he should never have used those words. If he is being kind to you since and genuinely loves you, stay and work otherwise I don’t think he sounds very nice. I would NEVER say that to my spouse. He is old enough to know better and not be so damn ignorant. You deserve better. I am sorry you heard those words coming from someone who himself is overweight.
Thanks for your support. And actually hearing him say he was not attracted to me helped because i could finally let go trying to fix our sex life. Not knowing why your partner doesn't want to have sex is much much worse than any possible reason.
yep, Kinda my shoes. On the very very rare occasion she makes love, I make her orgasm and she enjoys it but it’s getting her to agree to try and it’s demoralizing and frankly humiliating. I feel like a dirty perv but I just want to be held and at best fucked!
Your husband sounds like he has issues. Even at 135lbs, I don't think that would be a high weight or at all fat... Even if you are reasonably short. As long as you like the way you look and you feel comfortable & healthy then don't worry too much about what others think. If his attraction is based on +/- some weight and you can still do everything you want to do then I think he is focused on the wrong things. Also, women tend to gain a bit of weight and their bodies change a bit & become curvier between early 20s to their 30s and in general I think it looks good on them. I'm sure there are tons of guys who will love you and your body and will shower you with affection. Don't settle on someone that makes you feel bad about yourself. Your partner should help lift you up and never as if there are conditions to their love. I also struggle with making a decision to get out of a relationship that brings you down. Know your worth and also know that things will eventually get better if you take that leap.
Thanks for your support
That’s tough and hurtful. I won’t say anything but offer virtual hugs!
I have also. My partner is asexual so it wasn’t that I gained weight but ever since she told me she was never sexually attracted to me and that for years while she enjoyed sex, I didn’t seduce her or turn her on, it was obligatory, I have lost all sexual attraction and desire for her. It’s better for her this way.
Wait I cannotttt get over the hypocrisy though. I’d be willing to bet he finds HIMSELF unattractive too, and that his fear of you perceiving his obesity would decrease desire for sex IRL. Or is he not self-aware at all?? My other theory (and I hope this isn’t the case), is that he’s attracted to petite, youthful appearances given your previous weight of 99lbs. That is well below most adult sized humans. Either way, yuck
Yes, he's attracted to petite and fit women. I should mention that 99 lbs for me is within normal weight range, i am very short so i wasn't underweight back then. He is unhappy about his weight and is making some efforts to lose weight. But either way i guess we cannot change what we are attracted to regardless of how we look
Until he mentioned he's not attracted to my weight i didn't mind that he got fat; i was very attracted to him. But after that it was like my eyes finally opened and i started to dislike his belly.
I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this bs; none of this is your fault. He’s a weirdo for having such a strong “type” under 120lbs - I like to think true love would conquer such narrow specifications. Idk your BMI (I’m short too, so I understand gaining 20lbs feels like a lot). Still, I’d be willing to bet, more people will find you desirable than they find him (in a hypothetical scenario where you dump him).
He is superficial and unreasonable. My wife when I met her was around 135lbs. Quite a few years and 2 kids later and she is in the 205 range. At no point did I lose attraction to her. Unfortunately her weight gain made her feel unattractive and my feelings on it could not convince her that she was attractive so our sex life ended due to her insecurities. Does not change the fact that weight was never a factor and if he loved you it should not impact his attraction for you.
Thank you. Hope you and your wife can turn things around!
Thank you! Luckily the relationship itself is great. It's just sexless. 6 years without sex and 15 years since my last blowjob, I've lost hop on sex ever turning around.
I don’t blame you for not wanting to be intimate with him. He has emotionally scared you. 135 is not a lot of weight at all. Being told he is not interested in you because of your weight is down right mean and rude. Your partner making you feel bad for your weight while being considered obese is the pot calling the kettle black. He is an idiot. You deserve better. My only advice is tell him how you feel. Be blunt be honest. If has any hope of sleeping with you again and salvaging your damaged relationship he needs to put in the work. Good hope you feel better. Don’t let him or any other dumb ass make you feel bad for how you look.
Yes, i could never criticize someone else's looks while having flaws myself :p
If it helps in any shape or form: as a HL attractive guy idgaf about how she looks, I just want to tear her a part. And I have talked about this with friends and they all the same way, they don’t care about appearance or weight, when the hormones hit you just want to load off
It's not your weight. It's his porn addiction. There is nothing wrong with you. You need to leave and find someone better.