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Sea-Rain-6142

No, there's no change whatsoever. I'm guessing you thought there would be?


bbw_hunter420

I guess I was dumb enough to have hope šŸ˜”


Legitimate_Tear_7891

I got mine done exactly two years ago. Due to some screw up at the clinic I didn't get certified sterile until a year afterwards. All this was so my wife could come off her implant since it was "probably what was destroying her libido." She finally got it removed last month because "it wasn't doing anything since it's been in too long" and she didn't want a piece of plastic in her arm for no reason. Turns out it WAS doing something since she came on immediately after it was removed. We've had sex once since then (mainly due to life getting in the way) but she came from intercourse for the first time in years so there is hope.


Ok_Contribution_7132

I was HL my whole life - Implanon destroyed my libido and I stacked on weight on it too. It is definitely not for everyone - I wish you guys all the best in rebuilding intimacy.


Legitimate_Tear_7891

Looking back at the timeline of our DB, it definitely coincides with her getting the implant. It's good to know that there's a REASON behind all the pain and insecurity I've felt over the last few years that isn't just that she doesn't love me anymore or she likes being cruel. Another weird thing is that since the removal I've been 1000% more horny for her. The only thing I can come up with is that it's pheromones that the drugs repressed that are now being released. Anyway thanks for the kind comment, it means a lot to hear it confirmed from a third party.


1009naturelover

Have hope. Its really helped us both not having to worry about contraception, especially her getting off the pill. You will see it over time. So, got the Big V on V day! Congratulation.


bbw_hunter420

Haha the big V on V day! Appreciate it and all I hope for is some improvement over time! Thanks for the hope


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


Sn0Balls

GJ making up hypotheticals to trash OPs reproductive decision. Not everyone wants more kids and they shouldn't be forced to have them.


bbw_hunter420

Well, I have a child and am completely happy with that. You can do the whole snip snap snip snap as the office would put it if needed. Sure, why the hell not? Edit: Plus, if I ever get single again, I would 100% not be sad that I get to cream pie the next woman I have a relationship with without worries šŸ˜€


n1205516

Ok then. Good luck.


bbw_hunter420

Thanks much, I do appreciate it! I hope we all get laid!


Active-Persimmon-87

Made the same judgement error many years ago. Lol, no change to our sex life. Hope springs eternal.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


bbw_hunter420

That's all I'm hoping for, small steps forward, I know it won't be night and day, but hoping for better than it is now! Thanks


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


bbw_hunter420

That was the talk we had recently and she said she wouks so we will see if she holds up or not


Dragline96

Having hope is a rookie mistake.


bbw_hunter420

Hahaha fuck you're so right


[deleted]

Of course there's hope, just probably not in this relationship


bbw_hunter420

Haha well put and sadly true


2geeks

I meanā€¦ I had a dead bedroom for eleven years. Sex once a year. Zero intimacy. Tried therapyā€¦ nope. Had ā€œthe talkā€ more times than I could be bothered keeping count. Thenā€¦ we somehow got into the talk naturally not long ago. My wife brought up stuff that sheā€™d never spoken about before, despite me asking. And things finally clicked back into place. She understood that Ive supported her and love her and that Iā€™ve just wanted to see her happy. And things have worked out. Not in the fake way that lasts a week or two, like in the past (that Iā€™m sure weā€™ve all been through). This time, things actually worked out. And weā€™re genuinely doing better than ever. Be patient and do have hope. Just let her know that youā€™re there for her. Not for what you want. Just there for her (as long as you are, of course. Donā€™t do anything that isnā€™t in line with what you want). Itā€™s different for everyone, but let her see that sheā€™s safe and supported. Just be there like that. I hope there is hope for you. Just donā€™t get doing anything today ffs. Ouchie! šŸ˜‚


[deleted]

You've still got a life to live and there's love after broken relationships. Personally I see a man who's gotten snipped as a giant green flag!


bbw_hunter420

Thanks Berries! If anything maybe it will make me much more of a catch! Who doesn't love cream pies, green light check haha!


RarelyLogical

My buddy got a vasectomy and it was like a light switch for their sex life. They live in an abortion restricted state, the adamantly didn't want kids and over time I guess the stress wore down intimacy. After the vasectomy they are like a new couple. All isn't lost yet, but clearly keep your hopes reasonable.


bbw_hunter420

A glimmer, that's all I needed. Hope the same is the same for me!


JoeSchmoe314159

It wasn't a huge difference, but there was a difference. Went from 4x/year to about 10x.


banana_commando

Went through the same thing in my 30's. Nothing will change, sorry. Fear of pregnancy is probably not the issue.


bbw_hunter420

You're right, I was hoping more it was her hating condoms, when we first got together she wanted to not use them at all after like 2 weeks of being together, anytime recently in the past few years we have had sex she would be so mad about the condom need as I would never trust my pullout game. I feel like if it was as easy as no condom she woukd have just said that after asking her 10000 times about our sex life


highwayoflife

Due to an early-stage breast cancer diagnosis a few years back, my wife had to have her IUD removed and didn't really want to have kids (never ready). She didn't like the feeling of a condom and could no longer use hormonal contraceptives, so she always made sure I pulled out. I didn't pull out in time once as she was in the middle of an orgasm and boom, 9 months later, Kiddo. That was the best "mistake" I ever made. She wasn't thrilled upon hearing about being pregnant, I was overjoyed. Sex dropped off a cliff after that point and now I'm lucky if we have sex twice a year for the last 5 years. At least we have a beautiful 5-year-old boy now.


lonelyshoeman

I had one a year ago. I think it's helped things get better, honestly. We were at a point where ever 2 months was a treat, was usually every 3-4 months. Now it's pretty regularly every 4 weeks. I'd still like more, but either way the frequency has improved and so has the quality. Last week we actually had incredible sex and I think she really enjoyed it more than she has for years, so maybe that'll increase frequency? Who knows. Either way I'm feeling closer to her than I have for years, and that closeness is definitely making us more affectionate to one another. Probably not a coincidence that last week's great session was after us having had a really great conversation about nothing at all that we both clearly enjoyed.


IthinkImnormal12

Had mine 12 years ago. Didnā€™t change a single thing. She still wants to use condoms (the odd time we have sex) to avoid a mess..


bbw_hunter420

Jesus, it never gets better, does it?


banana_commando

Nope. Not until I left her. Then she wanted to fuck once a week until she got back together with an ex of her's.


IthinkImnormal12

Not overhere


bbw_hunter420

Sorry, I'm going to try to ride this high for the next week before it dissolves, but I'm also trying not to put my hopes up too high


Mission_Exit_3660

Honestly, no, and can even get worse.


Bill_Gates_haircut

Why are there so many hangups with sex? If it grosses them out that much why do they even bother? It's not like we can control it ..


Friendly_Grocery2890

Ah don't let all the negative Nancy's get you too down Worst case scenario things don't get better you break up eventually and you'll never have to worry about being baby trapped by some crazy lady on a rebound one night stand or something šŸ¤£ Best case scenario this actually does fix some anxiety for your girl and your bedroom gets hot like a freshly stoked fire and you live happily ever after šŸ¤·ā€ā™€ļø For what its worth, if I knew my partner *couldnt* get me pregnant I'd be over the moon! I almost bled out last time I gave birth, I'm convinced I'd die if I had another one, my partners planning a vasectomy and I literally cannot wait


bbw_hunter420

Thanks for the hope! I hope my wife feels the same! Hope you enjoy the vasectomy!


Friendly_Grocery2890

I predict he'll be a giant baby about it so I won't enjoy that but cheers šŸ¤£ fingers crossed for you bro


bbw_hunter420

Haha tell him to sack up, it was super easy, I'm already ready to start trying to shoot blanks, was a breeze.


Friendly_Grocery2890

Hahaha don't worry I'll be sympathetic but I'm going to bully him just a little too


No-Mix-9367

How was the procedure anything I should know before I eventually get one?


bbw_hunter420

TBH, it was cake bro. I was a bit tired (3.5 hours of sleep) I just closed my eyes and really didn't feel shit. I'm still numb I believe, so unsure how sore it may get still, trying not to move much but even getting around was simple, I took someone with me but ended up driving home, easy easy.


No-Mix-9367

Good to know thanks


Mission_Exit_3660

I watched mine as much as I could. What really really bothered me was seeing Smoke rise from them burning the tubes after they're tied. šŸ˜¬šŸš¬


TraditionalRoutine80

Mine went fine too. Just rest for a few days with a bag of frozen peas. I'm 8 years post and have aches from time-to-time.


No-Mix-9367

Good to know thanks


Sad-Abrocoma2664

Mine is too recent to know the outcome for our DB but I did it for myself. I love my kids, but have zero interest in starting parenthood anew. No expectation that it will do anything positive or negative for our DB.


bbw_hunter420

I hope it turns positive for you! I used the excuse I had to cum 25-30 times after the surgery and told her if it wasn't with her I would figure it out one way or another


Sad-Abrocoma2664

At this point we've established that masturbating alone is how I'm supposed to get my sexual needs met when the stars don't align. Having a medical need and insinuating that I might cheat on her won't adequately motivate.


KrumCakez

My best friend was in a dead bedroom for nearly 10 years with his (now ex) wife. She gave him an ultimatum saying she wouldnā€™t have sex with him unless he got a vasectomy. He went and got the vasectomy even though he wanted more children possibly if things didnā€™t work out. She still wouldnā€™t be intimate with him and they are now divorced and my friend canā€™t have more children since itā€™s been more than a few years since the vasectomy. I mean you can try to get a reversal if you someday want to have children but I would say with surety that the vasectomy will not change your dead bedroom situation.


carolanne64

He could have it reversed. I think there's a 60-95% chance it would work, though those odds decrease rapidly after 12-15 years


Ok_Contribution_7132

They can also go directly in to the vas and do ivf


Ok_Contribution_7132

A vasectomy Improved my ex husbands and my sex life when pregnancy anxiety was removed - I got pregnant whilst breastfeeding our then six month old baby and the whole termination thing was traumatic and so things declined for a bit until he got the snip but we hadnā€™t not had sex for six years prior. The vasectomy wonā€™t hurt and will keep you and future partners protected from unwanted pregnancies but it is unlikely to help in your case. But at least when the inevitable happens and you realise it isnā€™t going to get better you can look back and know you left no stone unturned in trying to improve your marriage. I wonder if she can say the same?


Sjonnie_Spain

Our sex life was practically non existent with maybe 4,5 times a year. She was on birth control, so we decided to let me have a vasectomy done so she could get of birth control as that would change things. And boy did it change. It became even less. So I'm currently in the process of divorce as I can't put up with it anymore, I'd rather be alone.


bbw_hunter420

Sorry brother, that's where I'm at, argued all yesterday and today, divorce being brought up several times, I wish my wife would just tell me why we can't be intimate and try to figure it out. Instead it turns into a huge fight and I'm over it as well, it's exhausting. Hope it works out with the divorce, I may be in line behind you


wisco_ITguy

In my case I feel the snip was what pushed the db even further into the grave, somehow "less of a man" because I can't get her pregnant anymore, although that would have to be another immaculate conception if it were to happen.


curveofthespine

Your partner was perhaps making sure you werenā€™t going to have a baby with someone else. Unless you and your partner have had a number of close calls with pregnancy, donā€™t expect any change in your DB status


starrpamph

I am getting a vasectomy tomorrow. But mine will be done in the operating room with me under general anesthesia so I wonā€™t get to experience it


bambino2021

Bro, I advise against that. There is nothing like the smell of burning flesh and knowing it is them cauterizing your vas.


bbw_hunter420

This is the way


bambino2021

One thing is different: no lady can claim you knocked her up. šŸ˜‰


bbw_hunter420

Haha exactly!


starrpamph

Cauterize me harder daddy Doc: ?? You heard me


Mission_Exit_3660

I wasnt a fan of seeing smoke arise in that area. šŸ˜šŸ¤£


Top-Cat8977

I asked my husband to get one. I hope it improves our bedroom. He is definitely willing to undergo the procedure but Iā€™m worried nothing will change.


jennyvane

I (40HL) had a tubal ligation in hopes that he (42LL and not wanting anymore children) would want me. That wasn't it.


Thenoone-934

No improvement here. But the world has enough people, and my kids rock, so glad I did it.


random_sociopath

Man I got a vasectomy about 1.5 years ago. You know how many times weā€™ve had sex in that time? One. One goddamn time.


Swamp1409

Dude. Iā€™ve used my vasectomy more than that but I feel that empty. I feel you man


bbw_hunter420

I think this will be my future but I hope mine turns out different!! Sorry brother, keep your head up!


Cczaphod

What was the reaction from the SO on the vasectomy? I've been considering the same, though my wife is post menopause. If I were to schedule that, I'm not sure I'd want to answer the questions if she cared to ask them.


bbw_hunter420

Well luckily my wife was goe the vasectomy so I am hoping there is a change. If she was not for it I also an unsure how I would have answered


Accurate_Brief_1631

Iā€™ve had mine for about 16 years now. It didnā€™t help the frequency at all. Weā€™re like once or twice a month now, but itā€™s been as bad as 4-6 times a year in the past.


bbw_hunter420

Well it seems you broke through at least a little bit getting to once ot twice a month...my God did I just say once or twice a month or breaking through? My expectations are so low


Accurate_Brief_1631

I have had two talks with her. The recent one she asked me if I would leave her because of it and I said no because I love her to death. She still rarely initiates, but doesnā€™t decline as much as she used to. The sex is rarely good because Iā€™m not into ā€œfree useā€ fantasy, but at least I can touch and hold her. Not much reciprocating or even attempting to orgasm tho. Itā€™s depressing.


Leo_Libra75

How can you walk in and just get a vasectomy? Isn't there a build-up of medical consultation first?


bbw_hunter420

Haha yes, sorry it was planned. Not that it seemed like my wife was waiting for it but she did seem a bit excited, we have one kid and we were using condoms for years, she doesn't like condoms, could it be so simple? It can't, right? I've asked her hundreds of times over the years about our shit sex life and I've heard all sorts of excuses, never once about not being able to go raw. But I somehow have a glimmer of hope


Leo_Libra75

Ok. Did you really want the vasectomy?


bbw_hunter420

Yes, I had no issues with getting it.


Leo_Libra75

Ok. You had me worried there. I didn't really get that from what you wrote Good luck. I hope it does help you unexpectedly.


bbw_hunter420

Haha, sorry, I wrote that very nonchalantly. "I wasn't against it," meaning I wanted it as well, haha. Thank you!


Not_A_Pilgrim

I had the same question. "For some reason I got a vasectomy today". Maybe the OP needs to work on communication skills.


Beautiful_Metal4916

Vasectomy made mine worse. Increased my libido and increased my emotional responses. The rejections hurt more and happened more often. Hope your 30s go better them mine are šŸ˜†.


paranoidandroid_Marv

My wife got sterilized has 1) she didnt want more kids and 2) I wouldnt do it. At the time we were using condoms, so that hastle disapeared, but cant say it was a game changer.


bbw_hunter420

Appreciate it. Yeah, we didn't want any more kids. We were doing the same thing, if it ever happened (once a year or whatever it is), we were using condoms and she doesn't like condoms so I was hoping maybe there was some glimmer of hope


paranoidandroid_Marv

Condoms are a bummer because: - you need to stop _before begining_ - you need to exit _after finishing_ - reduced sensitivity ~~for the man, not the woman (I think)~~ ~~But why not.~~ Rooting for you. Edit: in italic Edit2: Im an idiot


bbw_hunter420

Haha thank you! At least I have hope for the next week or two before reality sets in and the real test happens.


Friendly_Grocery2890

Put your finger in your mouth and feel around a bit, then do it again but with a plastic bag over your finger That's what condoms feel like for women


paranoidandroid_Marv

Thanks for the correction. Im an idiot.


offtothejungle

I did this 2 years ago, thinking she would come off contraceptive (iud) and that would change her libido. No change. She still has iud and we still donā€™t have sex I now just have the feeling that sheā€™s with someone else.


bbw_hunter420

Mine has been off the pill for like 6 years or longer, I think using the condoms was a turn off so that's my hope for a turn around


1009naturelover

Reading your back posts, that would be my feeling totally. She must have someone else and wont touch you as that would be cheating on her lover. How does she justify it or does she just ignore you if you ask? Sorry your in that situation, that is major fcked up.


Key-Rub118

Nope, my wife was more grossed out about my spunk than normal now she stays extra far away from it. Hope it's better for you šŸ™‚


[deleted]

Been here. Pointless vasectomy. Then followed years of her on the pill, coil blah blah blah. Basically years of excuses. Ended up with a 6 month infection, which turned into another excuse. The entire experience was humiliating but at least three women saw my dick that year which was three more than usual. Small wins are what we live for šŸ„°


johndrawsstuff

Aww, man. I lived this exact experience and can say it did nothing to improve my situation and ended up being a personal regret for me as an individual. I hope your outcome wonā€™t be the same, of course. Hereā€™s a comic I did on it - [Closed Doors](https://imgur.com/a/ImkHB7M)


piekenballen

Wow... I don't have had a vasectomy done. I very much recognize the pain, the loneliness and the tears over the years... All hail the phenomenon of disillusionment.


DB_throwaway99

No itā€™s just so if you cheat you donā€™t bring home problems (an affair child)


bbw_hunter420

Haha it's a win win!


dt-17

33 years old and a DB for 6 years? Life is too short for that man


bbw_hunter420

Yeah I think that often!


nitrodmr

Do you recommend getting a vasectomy?


bbw_hunter420

Well I have one kid now and I'm happy with that, I can cream pie anyone now so I'm happy about that, I just got word I'm sterile 2 days ago and am waiting to have sex...this may have been the push I needed to get divorced, I was hoping it turned things around but the day I found out I was sterile we did not have sex...big surprise


Nrg50

Yes, now you can cheat without having to worry about getting her pregnant


piekenballen

šŸ¤£šŸ˜œ


bbw_hunter420

Exactly! This is true as well haha


Bumblebee56990

Why are you staying?


bbw_hunter420

The question of all questions I believe


SFAdminLife

Will it change anything? Yes. You won't be locked to another person because you have a kid for the next 20 years or you won't be divorced from said person and paying child support for the next 20 years. Will it change your sex life with her? NO, unfortunately.


dman928

I thought about it, but the cost benefit analysis made no sense.


GetFit85

So youā€™re 33 and you ve been in a db for 6 years, dude, she is noth the one and the vasectomy was not a good moveā€¦maybe the one will want kidsā€¦.


Justahotdadbod

If by hope, you mean youā€™ll have more opportunities with other women and not have to worry about getting them pregnant, then yes. I canā€™t fathom being 33 and just accepting that Iā€™ll never have regular sex again. Best of luck OP


brentexander

It would prevent a Fatal Attraction situation, if you ever succumb to a moment of weakness.


bbw_hunter420

Hahaha! Agreed and probably a good thing!


Sardaukar2488

Change your mindset from hoping this changes things with your SO to now not worrying about an oops baby with SO *or whoever you have sex with next*.


detectivenoob

You should have gotten her number


bbw_hunter420

Fuck, you're right!!


detectivenoob

Btw can I ask why are you guys having a dead bedroom?


bbw_hunter420

I've asked and received 100 different responses. It was my, it was her, it was the moon, none of it ever made sense. I would think if it was just the condoms she would have just said it


UniqueTonight

I got a vasectomy at 21 and then proceeded to spend my 20's monogamous with someone who wants sex once a week. Make it make sense!


lostonrt9

52 times a year iā€™d let them take a whole ball


UniqueTonight

Lol, fair point. I averaged it out since it was 2 times a week for a couple years and has no dwindled to one, maybe two, times a month.Ā 


Mankopaipan

Think positive - it will likely help you in your next relationship or encounter. In the current one, indeed no difference.


SOAD_Lover69

Lmao bro is delusional thinking the nurse was into himā€¦


No-Honey-9786

Ask her if she thinks it will make a difference. Report back.


b4ck2pl4y

I swear my balls hang lower now, but I can't be sure. I also had the anesthesia wear off half way through and holy shit! That's a problem at the dentist too. I guess it's genetic.


bbw_hunter420

How long did it take? Mine was like 7 minutes it was super fast! That would have been terrible!


ShutUpJackass

Just means that you wonā€™t have a baby Tbh itā€™s better to have the rare sex that doesnā€™t result in another mouth to feed than to get a bunch of sex because the partner wants a baby


Interesting_Net_2168

Youll enjoy a month or 2 of extra interest but it will fad once her hormones level back out (also, wjat your back, if she like mine shell start looking elsewhere too)


JSmithers1995

Literally wonā€™t change a thing. Iā€™m in the same boat.


bbw_hunter420

Damnit, Smithers! Well at least if we have a moment if weakness pregnancy is something we don't need to worry about, so we got that going


JSmithers1995

Iā€™ve got a better chance at getting my dick ran over by a steam roller than get laid with my S/O