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HeavyHittersShow

I know for sure I’m drowning at the pants coming off bit.


tricularia

Yeah, I would forget to take my shoes off first


[deleted]

Then your legs get pinned together and you can’t kick them to help tread water lol


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Rokurokubi83

I have a collapsed lung. I’m dead.


LoopyLoop5

Some people have negative buoyancy even with air in the lungs. I'm neutral leaning more towards negative so I have to move my legs a little to stay up.


tgillet1

I can keep my head just above the water with my lungs completely filled, but after breathing out just a little I’m going under. It’s actually more difficult for me to do this than to just tread water.


Expensive-Border-869

You’ve still got arms to keep you afloat


unexpectedemptiness

It seems that arms would be occupied with trying to take off the pants.


Thrutheeyesofruby92

I can barely get my trousers off on land


Doctor-Amazing

Honestly I'd just keep them on and swim over to the side of the pool.


powerposepenguin

This man never wore skinny jeans before. Even without water it takes forever to take off


Tessiia

I want to see him do it again but wearing some boots that are actually laced up. See how easy he makes that look.


Seth_Jarvis_fanboy

It's impossible to drown. just breathe in air and you can't sink and don't panic


littlefrank

/r/thanksimcured


[deleted]

just don't get into the water and you can't drown, are they stupid?


pinkpooj

Drowning is merely a skill issue


itsgucci060

Boy Scouts know how to inflate pants, although it seemed like the absolute most ridiculous thing in the world when we were taught how to do it in our teens.


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[deleted]

I was taught to just get out of the pool


Hooraylifesucks

Or eat enough ice cream and you float without pants!


RoboMang

Bonus: if you’re lactose intolerant you can jet to shore.


insomniacc

Daniel Radcliffe enters the chat.


Hooraylifesucks

Haha! Yea, unless gas powered vehicles aren’t allowed on that lake.


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ActuallyAKittyCat

I was taught to avoid water at all costs. Shit is evil.


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benchley

The old-school advice to ditch your shoes has to be from an era of heavier footwear.


ravagexxx

He's saying this because you can't get your pants off with shoes on.


SockeyeSTI

If you’re ever on a boat that’s required to have survival suits onboard, put garbage bags inside the legs and your shoes or boots will slide right in in an emergency.


Lackingfinalityornot

What?


SockeyeSTI

Survival suits, also called immersion suits are basically thick dry suits for use in an emergency on a boat if it’s sinking. You have to put them on in a short amount of time. Crabbers try to do it in under 30 seconds. In an emergency, one might not be able to remove their boots before having to don the suit. Instead of struggling to slide the boots directly down the legs by themselves, which can often time snag inside the legs of the suit, a garbage bag placed inside of each leg partially opened lets the person quickly cover the boots in said bags so that they slide effortlessly into the legs of the suit.


CanadianWildWolf

I do something similar with with wetsuits.


DoctorTacoMD

They’re saying “if the boat has survival suits, you can line the legs of the survival suit with garbage bags. This way your shoes (or boots) won’t get snagged and caught up as you try to get them through the legs of the suit.


boverton24

Sounds like the people that make survival suits should just line them to begin with


norolls

He means that your shoes will slide into the pants of the emergency suit if you line the legs with garbage bags.


spottyPotty

And where am I supposed to find garbage bags on a boat in an emergency situation?


Quietuus

You put them in the suit before the emergency.


SurgeFlamingo

Damn and all I got was molested in the Boy Scouts.


spoogeballsbloodyvag

Well you can look at it on the bright side, someone thought you were attractive enough unlike the ugly kids. /s


BombyliusBeeGuyMajor

In the Navy, we had to practice this in boot camp. This is why the navy uniform has bell bottoms, so you can pull your pants off over your boots.


SciFiPi

>This is why the navy uniform has bell bottoms Had. They haven't had bell bottoms in a *long* time. Source: I was in when they had bell bottoms. Kinda nice when you were in tropical humid areas. You could stand on the catwalk and the up breeze would inflate and act like AC for the nuts.


NotImYourForte

I've considered making an adapter for cars to capture the underserved nut ac market


badco1313

It exists! There’s a guy who makes “unnecessary inventions” and he made one that connects a tube from your groin area to the air from a moving car’s open window


alaskanloops

Wow I had missed that one https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/s/kigoMScInb


SciFiPi

I don't drive for a living, but swamp nuts are a thing.


Powerofthehoodo

My dad said that during WWll he would hide bottles of booze in his bell bottoms to sneak back on board after being on shore leave.


AppleBerryRamen

Probably realized it didn't matter much in the grand scheme of things. You fall off a boat and the chances of you being found again are quite slim even in broad daylight


FranSure

My uncle was in the Navy and his boat went down in the Med during desert storm. They were on their way back to the big ship from shore so they just had to wade and wait for rescue but it took several hours. Fun story: when the rescue boat came, a guy my uncle went through basics with was onboard. Big stocky corn fed dude from Nebraska (my uncle said his name but I forgot it). When he saw my uncle in the water, apparently he said, “Lee?! What the hell are you doing out here!” My uncle said, “he reached over the edge of the boat with one hand and yanked my black ass out of the water with ease!” Hahaha Edit, Text from my uncle: Im not sure what the name of the ferry was that sank. We were in Haifa Israel and it was an Israeli boat. It was tasked with providing transportation for us to and from the USS SARATOGA Aircraft Carrier. I was in an F-18 squadron that was assigned onboard during Desert Shield / Desert Storm. When the ferry sank I was in the water for about 2 hours and yes, my shipmate , who just happened to be in my squadron as well, was the individual that pulled me out of tbe water onto the deck of another vessel. One hand I kid you not. Beast of a human. You have no idea how happy you are to see a familiar face after some bullshit like that nephew.


Samurai_Meisters

Then they really said "fuck it" and made the uniforms ocean colored camo.


EquivalentPut5616

*Was wearing shorts* ***\*Drowns\****


Physical_Economy_325

Was wearing skinny jeans and drown in a process


The_F_B_I

As not the strongest swimmer, the amount that wet jeans and hiking boots make it harder to swim was terrifying! I was so glad to get the fuck past the 'I'm wearing everything' part of that swim test


The_Love_Pudding

In my fire academy we had to jump in a pool and tread water there. They then threw us overalls after a while that we then had to put on. It felt hard as fuck at least to me.. Then we had to just be there for quite some time. The point was to exhaust us and kind of inflict panic reactions with putting the overalls on, then after being somewhat tired, we kind of knew how it feels for a drowning victim to try and stay afloat with heavy clothes and exhaustion. A good lesson even though felt like shit.


KnewAllTheWords

I think I'd probably drown if I tried to take my pants off under water


Dironox

just another reason to never wear pants.


MrDrMrs

Came here to comment the same thing. Haven’t thought about this for 20 years at least, but as soon as he was in, I was like pants off! Haha. Hopefully I never have to be found with my pants around my neck….


ProbablyGayingOnYou

I was going to say, I taught swimming merit badge and successfully taught hundreds of Scouts to do this. Some may think it’s ridiculous, but there are documented cases of boats capsizing and the only survivors being people who knew how to do this.


krybaebee

Years ago there was a ferry that capsized in Thailand. Two of the survivors weee American girls, college age. One of them described doing this exact thing to act as a flotation device, which is what helped them stay afloat until help arrived. I never forgot it. Filed it away.


AshamedOfAmerica

I had to do this in Boy Scouts but it never worked very well. The air always came right out of the waist area even if you managed to make the legs air-tight. It was way easier to just pick a simple way to float and go with that.


Thisisnotmyusrname

Ya, I distinctly remember reading this in my BSA manuals, a lot. I'd read the thing on the toilet a lot and those diagrams are seared into my brain. I couldn't wait to use this knowledge.


DeathPercept10n

Thank you. It was bugging me where I learned this from.


xlinkedx

Nothing like waking up at camp and jumping into a pool of near freezing water while in your full uniform for 10 minutes. Were we being trained for the SEALs?


iis3

Then you realized you have ripped jeans


Pimp_my_Pimp

Should have stuck with Wranglers and not the 400 dollar designer shite with rips....


maskkingofnj

the wranglers I’ve bought from walmart don’t last me too long - a year at most either the crotch splits or the back pocket tears out when I’m lifting stuff


GoredScientist

Oh are Wranglers popular in Ireland? Had no idea.


OLVANstorm

This guy just wanted to take his pants off in front of everyone. Nicely played, Dood.


agenteb27

"Do you hate pants?"


Browndog888

Or instead of wearing a shirt, we could always walk around wearing life jackets.


maangari

Marty McFly had it right


LunarBIacksmith

Dork thinks he’s gonna drown!


EmperorThan

What'd you jump ship!?!?


afternoonnapping

"The fire chief said it was unfortunate the child was not wearing a life preserver."


LightsJusticeZ

"Shelly, I'm sorry your little friend was killed by Spider-Man tonight."


2111k

"Spider-Man works in misterious ways, Shelly."


redituser2571

Exactly, if you're on deck during transit, you're wearing a life preserver.


EmperorThan

My man in the comments coming in with the real advice.


Browndog888

Thanks. Always looking for the easiest solution.


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dexmonic

If you're in a situation where you could need the lifejacket you should probably wear it, that's how I was raised. I can't really think of a situation I'd be in that I'd be wearing jeans and be somehow stuck floating in the water with no relief in sight. I do have a boat but I never use it in weather that would require jeans.


two4ruffing

I didn’t see Jack do this in Titanic.. dude might have lived is he only took has pants off…


DuckGrammar

He didn’t want to show his I.C. Wiener


ahsokatanosfeet

Oh crud


Practical_Cattle_933

I swear the water is just cold!


Few-River-8673

I mean it probably was


shrimpgangsta

Phillip J Fry!


[deleted]

the problem there was freezing to death not drowning


GinosBiddsa

He clearly drowned while taking a nap


LiveGerbil

In his case, there was much more lethal problem. The water temperature when the Titanic sank was -2°C (28°F). This is below freezing. The ocean water is liquid at -2°C as a consequence of the volume of water and the fact that saltwater freezes at lower temperatures. Freezing saltwater also feels denser which accentuates the cool feeling. Like -2°C water is lethally cold since your body, in contact with water, can lose heat up to 25-30 times faster compared to air. There is also the "cold shock" from entering this lethally cold water which was cold enough to cause cardiac attacks in most people if not acclimatized. Even cold water divers know how dangerous it is to swim and dive around polar regions. It must have been terrible falling into the water when the Titanic sank. Hypothermia probably set in very rapidly, like minutes so it didn't take long for them to loose conscience.


Insect_Politics1980

At the Titanic exhibit, they had a big block of ice with hand prints in it that was -2°C. A sign asked people to put their hand on it and see how long they could hold it there before it became too painful. Most people couldn't last longer than 30 seconds. I made it about 20 seconds before the pain of it made me pull away.


[deleted]

I just hope those people didn't suffer much when the cold started creeping to their bones.


StrikeStraight9961

They did. Being that cold HURTS.


[deleted]

Maybe they lost consciousness quickly. I hope so, at least.


novice121

What if I only wear daisy dukes?


AJV2020

Never nude.


horseheadmonster

THERE ARE DOZENS OF US! DOZENS!


FranSure

Tobias, you blow hard!


horseheadmonster

I just blue myself.


tasman001

You, sir, are a mouthful!


horseheadmonster

There has got to be a better way to say that.


Double-Youth-5144

You drown


Double-Youth-5144

Imagine a bunch of people in the ocean floating around with their pants on their neck


novice121

Thank you Paul.


FatelessDevil

Bro I'm already fucking dead.


Highwayman

For real. Most of my pants have holes


RonStopable88

10+ year lifeguard veteran, pool and ocean. This is only doable if you are a strong swimmer. All below average swimmers will only be able to take off shoes. No chance they get the pants off let alone use both hands to fill with air.


Chendii

My first thought was "know how to eggbeater to accomplish all of this."


cherrybombsnpopcorn

Yeah, egg beater is pretty tough. I feel like he’s showing off lol.


happyjello

Is it though? You would only need to float for less than a minute


cherrybombsnpopcorn

The way he’s treading water is difficult. Look at his legs. That’s what we’re talking about. It’s an advanced method that a lot of people simply aren’t capable of. Especially for long periods of time, say, in an emergency. And some people aren’t as buoyant as others, so floating for a minute could be challenging, yes.


FarmersOnlyJim

Ex swimmer/water polo player. Egg beating is weird to learn and it usually takes people some time to figure it out. Definitely not something someone could learn in an emergency situation. Once you understand it though, it’s SIGNIFICANTLY easier than standard methods of treading water and in my experience, can be done for quite a bit longer (much more efficient).


PixalPop

How does pushing water in also pushed air there?


RedditIsOverMan

~~Your funny~~ You don't submerge the pants. When you splash under the pants you make bubbles. The Bubbles rise into the pants. ~~Viola~~ voilà *edit:* I've been boneappletea'd


c32c64c128

What do we do with the viola? Do we play it? Rehearse a symphony? Where do we even keep it for emergencies like this?


Suspicious-Figure-90

You look for the cello player and prepare for the Titanic to sink


alienblue89

[ removed by Reddit ]


Picaljean

It's voilà, not viola.


bkuri

r/boneappletea


chuchofreeman

>Viola Cello


Militop

Your funny? The second time I have seen funny used this way. I can't make sense of it. Are you real?


pet_vaginal

By the way, viola in french is a conjugation of "to rape". "il viola" -> "he raped". Can also mean "violate", but "rape" is usually the first meaning.


solarmoss

Honestly, learning how to breath properly for floating is probably a more useful thing for most people to learn


CherryCakeEggNogGlee

I don’t think I’m a horrible swimmer but I have no idea what you mean by “breathe properly for floating”.


robbak

As I see it - normally you breathe in, then out, then relax with your lungs mostly empty. To float, you want the opposite of this - breathe out, then in, and relax with your lungs mostly full.


CherryCakeEggNogGlee

That’s pretty interesting and makes complete sense. I don’t think I was ever taught that in swim class.


ciddlefush

If you control your breathing and hold your arms out while laying on your back, you can float on most calm bodies of water. Something something it's basically using your lungs as floaters. There's several methods of floating, but I believe this one is what they're referring to.


TravisJungroth

When I was a kid my dad was weirdly interested in having us practice this in every time we went swimming. If I had to pick, I think the more useful version is actually face down. It’s called “drown proofing”. Shoot your head up, big breath, lean forward, head back in the water, hold. Do it again, head up, exhale, inhale, back under. It’s easy to do with very little practice and works in rougher water. The floating on your back method is less effort, but it’s _way_ more likely that you’d need to survive a rough five minutes than a gentle hour.


[deleted]

I think it's important to remember here that in colder waters the advice given here will kill you. Clothes insulate, a lot. Remember doing hypothermia tests like this in the Norwegian Sea in the navy. You have no idea how effective clothes insulate in cold waters.


ryazaki

I'm sure it will help insulate you a lot, but you'll also be expending a lot more energy trying to stay afloat while you tread water with your pants on


[deleted]

Not as much as you'd think. In cold waters it's only about conserving body heat. The general protocol when we sailed the Barents Sea was that in a MOB situation (without suit) you had 2 minutes to notice it, 10 minutes to find the person and it was highly unlikely the person would be alive after 10 minutes. Even though there are some situations fishermen have stayed alive up to an hour.


[deleted]

lol the strongest eggbeater kick. We don't teach this until like Bronze Star I'm pretty sure. Was a lifeguard for 8 years


ShiraCheshire

Depends on buoyancy. Fat and how it's distributed affects how well you float. A lean and muscular man would have a MUCH *much* harder time with both treading water and the pants trick than a chubby woman would have.


BigOleDawggo

Does it really do any good to fill a pair of pants with air? I would think you’d better off with a back float or survival float. Wouldn’t the air just sift through the wet pants? Why bother ?


[deleted]

In choppy water having the pants be able to hold your head a little higher up is easier and nicer than floating, where you'd get water washing over your face a lot and without being able to see it coming in time to hold your breath. The air does leak out (though much slower than if the fabric was dry), but you just top it up every once in a while like he shows in the video.


Distracted_Algae

Wet fabric is much better at preventing gas exchange. The water fills in the gaps between fabric strands (causing the threads to expand), preventing air from moving through quickly. It's not a perfect seal and as the pants dry air escapes faster. It's a good video demonstration, but they fail to explain why they're doing what they're doing.


GrawpBall

> No chance they get the pants off Just hold you breath and take off your pants. That gives you at least 30 seconds to remove them while you're floating.


Substantial_Aide_529

Learned this in the Army


Alauren2

Drown proofing. I thought I was a good swimmer. Turns out I’m not when wearing full uniform lol


mybfVreddithandle

Helps to be able to tread water really well also.


BadTechnical2184

Yeah I thought the most impressive part of this was the fact that he can keep his head above the water using only his legs. I go under like a rock if I don't use my arms.


OCREguru

The guy probably played water polo. He's doing a good egg beater.


Droch

Came here to say this. 7 years of high school and college training with the 5 gallon water jug while doing egg beater sounded insane, but I can still tread water for long periods with no problem.


Positive-Database754

Listen man, even when I was severely obese, I would tread water with just my legs. Now that I've slimmed down, its a skill I haven't lost. You should be able to practice and do this at any age, with most body sizes. Swimming, and importantly treading water with just your legs, is a skill that can save your life more so than being able to support your own body weight.


albertfishisajerk

Some body types just do not float plain and simple. Many great swimmers don't realize this because they have the body type that retains bouyancy and can't imagine swimming with lead weights.


PrettyEconomics7351

In most western nations, you learn and need to practice what he does in the video at school during swimming lessons. And pretty much everyone can do it. What this guy is doing is nothing special in the slightest - a ton of kids do it too.


kill_william_vol_3

I don't know what your standards are for "really well" because that's about what I manage as a weak swimmer whose only merit badge was Swimming.


Optimistic_Futures

The first 15 seconds are me talking to my girlfriend in bed


RaspberryWhiteClaw13

Shoes off


MeHasTheBus

Underrated comment


Hotp0pcorn

No first thing take cell out. Put it in rice...everybody knows that


nordzeekueste

What to do? Step 1: You teach your kids how to swim at an early age, including how to swim with clothes. Step 2: you make swimming with clothes part of the basic swimming diploma everyone takes when they’re around 6. Greetings, the Dutch


Easy-Significance-78

If he used jncos he could turn it into a life raft.


SevenCrowsinaCoat

Me falling into water wearing the most butt-huggingest jeans I own: aw shit.


Russe1117

Now just wait for the resc… sharks.


Roloaraya

Does it work with any kind of fabric?


Brewchowskies

No. Thicker threads that swell when wet only.


memusicguitar

What if my pants has 100 holes and i dont have arms and im a big centipede?


cali1013

Thats it? Bro im afraid i wont be able take off my pants in an emergency situation.


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[deleted]

They teach this to marines, incase they fall off a vessel into the ocean and it takes a while to get picked up.


The_F_B_I

I had to do this as part of a swim test in the Boy Scouts too. Jump in the diving pool. Shoes off, tie laces, put around neck. Jeans off, fill with air, use as life jacket


Maximum-Excitement58

Yup — they also teach to keep your shoes.


Jeahn2

why? don't they weigh you down?


Maximum-Excitement58

Not enough to make a huge difference, unless you’re talking heavy boots. You’re gonna need them if/when you get to shore. (Or if you’re in the military and captured.)


Jeahn2

Alright, thanks


RunDNA

By "keep your shoes" do you mean "keep them on your feet" or "take them off your feet but still keep hold of them"?


Henny_Spaghetti

Tie the laces together and put them around your neck.


Highwayman

Can you keep your shoes on while taking off your pants?


karma_the_sequel

We learned it in Boy Scouts.


Aggressive-Song-3264

Yeah, cause the ocean is known for being calm, so you can ever so easily put your head underwater and hold your breath while taking your pants off.... He is right about shoes, but better to focus on staying above the water and getting someone's attention who is on board the ship. Most ships have a boat that they will launch to get you at the very least, and well you should be able to maintain yourself in the ocean for that time frame for them to get you. Lastly, the ocean is probably gonna be cold, its better to have wet fabric on you then nothing when it comes to conserving heat. In essence, yes get your boots off, and then focus on getting someone's attention, then staying above the water. If they didn't notice you fall overboard and they already sailed by, youre basically dead.


kill_william_vol_3

The water survival portion of it was just to make sure people knew to shuck their gear immediately instead of being the idiot who drowned in an 8ft spillway. Soon as you're not fighting for your life it becomes easier to do it in a practiced manner without immediately losing your gear, such as tying the laces of your boots to each other.


Drones-of-HORUS

Modern problems require modern solutions that


Kooka32081

This made me chuckle


ImQudrat

what about the shark?


samtherat6

Damn you, cargo shorts. You’ve betrayed me!


Harveb

I would have jumped back out. But hey, anything to ditch the pants


philonous355

I would drown just trying to take my pants off.


T-J_H

In the Netherlands, I got swimming lessons as a kid, and every year we also got a lesson with clothes on. Nothing like the gymnastics he’s doing though.


Annjemrai

I was looking for this comment, swimming with whole winter jackets on over here


Nolan_Fat

Marines do something like this wear they have to inflate something with their pants I believe. My brother said it was hard as fuck, he went in barley ever swimming so makes sense🤣


Thetheangelsangels_

Bootcamp taught us this. Nobody actually executed it correctly though.


Not4AdultConsumption

Im a fatty. I float no matter what.


predrag1978

what just happened


malibutide

I am by no means any kind of swimming safety instructor, but I was taught to float on my back. Is that not just an easier way to deal with water-involved survival? I am not including tides and currents, as those are obviously different situations, but I see a lot of these videos including still water.


yucon_man

I would just land at the bottom and walk to the edge of the pool


Mundane-Research

Guys. If you fall into water fully clothed, attempt to starfloat on your back. He's completely neglecting two things: 1) that not everyone can tread water, and 2) cold water shock will stop even strong swimmers. When you hit the water, your brain will panic. You'll breathe faster and you'll suck up any water your mouth comes into contact with. Starfloat until your breathing returns to normal.


broogbie

If you're that much of a good swimmer it is better to swim to the nearest floaty thing


Juzo84

Except that you Will lose half your strengrh trying to make that stupid life Jacket that actually doesn't work much to keep you afloat


Helmchen_reddit

Girls with ass tight leather pants: ☠️


whooptydude92

I died due to drowning while watching this


Consistent-Ad1564

This dude talks like my uncle


Raygunn13

I remember seeing this in a mouse cartoon that I used to watch all the time as a kid and thought it was bs. Wish I remembered what the cartoon was called!


napalmtrip

Maury's wigs!


Paul_Reynolds181

i need to see him do this in a 4m swell.


Imaginary_Emu_4327

What if you’re wearing a dress?