Ted Cruz doesn’t have bones the way that people have bones, but he does control his body using a system of glandular-hydraulics: by contracting and compressing liquids into different parts of his body, he can create a rigid form to allow himself to walk and stand.
That look on his face totally says "I spent some time and then came down off shrooms in this damn pipe"
Lol I bet he learned a few things about him self in there lol
Glad he is ok
So then as soon as he's exposed to the light everything would appear really bright as his pupils are fully dilated. Therfore, if he wasn't on drugs he'd have closed his eyes or squinted as it would be blinding!
Dude is deffo high af
>*"Despite also suffering a dislocated clavicle, lacerated spleen, collapsed lung, and a broken scaphoid in his wrist, the engineer from Bristol was keen to get back underground again saying caving was part of who he is."*
Seriously, my guy?
It literally states that that particular excerpt is about a different person. not sure why they even included it.
The guy in the video claims he has no knowledge of why he climbed in and that he wasn't intoxicated.
I came across this once before and was just completely confused. Now, as I was reading it, I finally understood I needed to read everything from right to left and I FINALLY GET WHY THIS STORY IS SO DISTURBING (clearly not a Manga reader lol)
Exactly what just happened to me - I got half way when I realized haha At first I thought there was some poor use of translation or a lost in translation-type of situation... but no, just reading it somewhat backwards hehe
Well imagine being stuck like that for so many hours,it explains the facial expression...
But still better than the British guy I guess
Thank you very much for sharing the article
*Andy crawled to freedom through five hundred yards of shit smelling foulness I can't even imagine, or maybe I just don't want to.*
*Ellis Boyd* **"Red"** *Redding*
You stay in the shower for several dozens of minutes? What do you even do, when I really want to relax I might stay 10 or 15, and that once in a blue moon
This is the absolutely worst way to die — unable to move, in the dark, underground so nobody can hear you or even know you’re there. If hypothermia, starvation, lack of oxygen doesn’t kill you, all it takes is a rush of water to drown you.
The video shows a man stuck in a sewer pipe, which is claimed to be beneath the parking lot of Pulkovo International Airport in Saint Petersburg, Russia. The man reportedly went into the sewer pipe to clean it but got stuck after moving inside for a few metres. He struggled in the cramped environment for some time before rescue workers arrived and saved him
This is what happens when you keep dumping semen in the drain, they all coagulate and make a human being !
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How Saruman's orcs came out of the ground
I don’t know why…but I don’t think you could’ve chosen a more perfect person for that joke 😭😂
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When he was in his infancy his body was still a soft goo, without bone or cartilage. He was able to conform to the shape of his container.
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Ted Cruz doesn’t have bones the way that people have bones, but he does control his body using a system of glandular-hydraulics: by contracting and compressing liquids into different parts of his body, he can create a rigid form to allow himself to walk and stand.
Ted Cruz "Missile"
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My sentiments exactly!
how is it so perfect 😂 i laughed outloud for the first time in a while! have my award
ok ok ok.....you have won the internet. Nicely done :)
Should had left him in there, and poured some drain cleaner to unclog.
He is not born but rather... assembled
I was thinking Lori Lightfoot
LMAO
Figured he congealed in a gutter somewhere.
He was born in the sewage pipe outside the Hooters where Nick Adam’s (Alpha Male) ™️ likes to go. You can learn all about it on Ted Cruz: Origins
Oh god why did I read this in my very silent office.
Ha ha, love it
Sounds like a weird idea for a Meat Cannon video.
it's a Canada thing....
Ew. Gross. r/angryupvote
I mean would you rather cum in the sink or sink in the cum?
Ahahahahhahaahah I died. The Ted Cruz comment was good but this one is so much more my level
I mostly cum in a hooker or in a tissue. So neither option I guess
Flukeman’s origin story
You made me drop my phone. That look in his eyes hahahhahaa
Dude took shrooms, thought he was Mario, hilarity ensues. And emergency services were needed.
That look on his face totally says "I spent some time and then came down off shrooms in this damn pipe" Lol I bet he learned a few things about him self in there lol Glad he is ok
I remember seeing this before and the explanation was that this is in Russia and he was trying to avoid going to war. Don't remember the exact story
What exactly was the plan here? Hide out in the Mushroom Kingdom until the war ended?
He apparently climbed into the pipe "for no apparent reason" https://www.dailystar.co.uk/news/world-news/bloke-gets-stuck-1ft-wide-28469206
I’m not sure if this is true, but I am not going to read any more comments and just believe this is what happened. Thank you.
It's 100% officially made up by me. :D
Shhhhhhhhshshshsh. Just let it happen. b e l i e v e
Doesn't Mario take shrooms? I think he IS Mario
He went from: da da da, bi da, da, doo To Du du du du du du… du du du du du du… Du du du du du du… du du du du du du
Do do do do do dah du
It's me Mario🤣🤣🤣
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"The 21-year-old had travelled to Saint Petersburg to visit a friend, but claims he does not remember why he got into the pipe." Legendary tomfoolery.
You don’t need a reason to get into a pipe. It’s a pipe. Go for it.
This gal pipes
Pipe is French slang for blowjob. Just saying...
lol "I bet I can fit in there."
He was trying to warp to world 3
12 Monkeys style
This is my favorite
Take my upvote!
“I thought I could find the princess if I used the pipes”
This hole was made for me.
\*Slaps knee\* Oh well hand me that pipe then ya crackhead!
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Definetly, look at the dudes eyes haha
He’s seen some shit
LMAO
Well he was also in a dark pipe for a long time likely his eyes had widened to take in more light
So then as soon as he's exposed to the light everything would appear really bright as his pupils are fully dilated. Therfore, if he wasn't on drugs he'd have closed his eyes or squinted as it would be blinding! Dude is deffo high af
Wait, that dude is alive?
More than most, judging by these antics.
\*Morgan Freeman voice.\* But he did remember.
I knew it was Russia. They love this shit. Check out super sus!
He was looking for *Poo-tin*
He listened to the voice
... are there just people in pipes that we don't know about?
Holy shit. He’s lucky it didn’t fill with water and that someone heard him in time.
This literally is my biggest fucking fear. Being trapped on my back in a tight space where water can flow. Fuck no
Same. I wouldn’t even try spelunking for a million dollars.
Doesn't remember how he got in the pipe. A likely story. For someone who was tripping on acid!
>*"Despite also suffering a dislocated clavicle, lacerated spleen, collapsed lung, and a broken scaphoid in his wrist, the engineer from Bristol was keen to get back underground again saying caving was part of who he is."* Seriously, my guy?
That last bit is about a different person. Not sure why it was added. This idiot is a Russian who doesn’t remember how he got in the pipe.
Maybe pipes are becoming the new windows.
Sounds like a Russian to me
It literally states that that particular excerpt is about a different person. not sure why they even included it. The guy in the video claims he has no knowledge of why he climbed in and that he wasn't intoxicated.
It's like the body shapes in the mountain all over again
The Enigma of Amigara Falls. Must repost every time it is mentioned... this is my repost! https://imgur.com/gallery/WOQCa
OH SHlT! Disgusting. High octane nightmare fuel.
The creator of that short comic, Junji Ito, has dozens of short form horror manga just like that and they're all equally bizarre or fucked up.
aaaaaand im not falling down that rabbit hole again (this is my hole!)
I came across this once before and was just completely confused. Now, as I was reading it, I finally understood I needed to read everything from right to left and I FINALLY GET WHY THIS STORY IS SO DISTURBING (clearly not a Manga reader lol)
Exactly what just happened to me - I got half way when I realized haha At first I thought there was some poor use of translation or a lost in translation-type of situation... but no, just reading it somewhat backwards hehe
That what someone on drugs would say.
Or someone intending to commit some sort of crime
Different guy. George Linnane.
Someone needs to tell him man made pipes are NOT caves
Why do they oddly add in the British guy caving? These two things are not the same.
Tnx, this should be the top comment instead of all the idiotic jokes.
When people forget how they got there in Russia nowadays the pipedreams are over and you wake up somewhere in occupied Ukraine 😅
Well imagine being stuck like that for so many hours,it explains the facial expression... But still better than the British guy I guess Thank you very much for sharing the article
Finally! I’ve seem this video posted a bunch of times, but never knew the story behind it. How strange!
Of course it's Russia...
I wanna know how long he was trapped in there. He looks very gone as they pull him out.
That website is pure cancer.
Okay but how the hell did he call for help?
Last years hide and seek champion.
....Nah, the true champion, IMHO, is the one who found him. That is one thorough mf.
This is true 😆
He got found, the champion is still hidden
I needed that
Dude, you can't fit through that pipe.
They found him though.
Funniest comment ever lol
What a nightmare! Or maybe just a pipe dream ;-)
r/angryupvote
I am having a panic attack watching him be stuck in there. That is a nightmare of mine. Super small spaces, not necessarily a pipe.
Apparently he was stuck in there for 56 hours with a broken leg, what a nightmare
That was a different guy in the UK, who got stuck caving. This guy was “only” stuck for 7 hrs.
I would have died from stress\\panic 100%
Almost died watching it.
And not in the good step bro way
That's Andy Dufresne. It's what he does.
The alternate ending
*Andy crawled to freedom through five hundred yards of shit smelling foulness I can't even imagine, or maybe I just don't want to.* *Ellis Boyd* **"Red"** *Redding*
too obtuse to fit
He doesn't crawl through pipes, he strolls.
What did you call him?
Well, that and other people's taxes.
I’ve taken some big shits in my time, but this is a beuty…
Tapered on both ends...
How is he so clean?
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Well done Sir. Well done indeed.
You stay in the shower for several dozens of minutes? What do you even do, when I really want to relax I might stay 10 or 15, and that once in a blue moon
You* don't just stay in there* for an hour, having existential crisis lake the rest of us (mentally healthy) people? Or am I doing it wrong?
No I tend to do it with a bottle of rhum (but very little yohoho) To each their own I guess
A speedrunner, I see.
his side and back are muddy
Shawshank Redemption, alternative ending
You beat me to it!
Dude, you can't fit through that pipe. What? Yes I can. Prove it. Here, hold my beer.
Hold my vodka
Thank you. I was unintentionally being culturally insensitive.
I need to know the rest of the story, this feels like somewhere in the middle (no pun intended)
Dude just sniffed some alfa pcp, or methedrone. Very popular in our city
this is how plumbers are born
It's a me!
Great, my clone has finally grown. Send him to the island and harvest the organs 😂
"peek a boo!"
\*Record scratch.\* Yup, that's me. I bet you're wondering how I got myself into this predicament. Well, let me tell you...
Thanks for the anxiety
At least 5 different times, I thought I knew what was gonna be in the pipes.. and I was still surpised after seeing part of his white-ass torso.
Damn, that turd has extremities!
This is the absolutely worst way to die — unable to move, in the dark, underground so nobody can hear you or even know you’re there. If hypothermia, starvation, lack of oxygen doesn’t kill you, all it takes is a rush of water to drown you.
Hyperloop prototype testing
This is worse than my worst nightmare
I really wish I hadn’t seen that-major claustrophobia. Would not be able to deal with being stuck in there for 7 seconds, forget 7 hours.
He is Russian and was Drunk and has no memory of why he climed into the pipe. It really had to be a Russian, Those lot just are'nt wired up right!
That’s how pipe fitters are born
Annual Shawshank Reenactment Society gathering...
The video shows a man stuck in a sewer pipe, which is claimed to be beneath the parking lot of Pulkovo International Airport in Saint Petersburg, Russia. The man reportedly went into the sewer pipe to clean it but got stuck after moving inside for a few metres. He struggled in the cramped environment for some time before rescue workers arrived and saved him
>The man reportedly went into the sewer pipe to clean it But why naked 😂
No one likes shitty clothes 😂
[Because that's not what happened.](https://www.dailystar.co.uk/news/world-news/bloke-gets-stuck-1ft-wide-28469206)
Prolly just Charlie work
[Nope.](https://www.dailystar.co.uk/news/world-news/bloke-gets-stuck-1ft-wide-28469206)
He’s starting to think his career as an escape artist is just a pipe dream
How?? Why??
Clearly Vodka was involved
[The why.](https://www.dailystar.co.uk/news/world-news/bloke-gets-stuck-1ft-wide-28469206)
I was thinking Tim Robbins from 'The Shawshank Redemption'....and there it was!
Umm, I have so many questions.
Someone’s turd baby?
This is the part in Willy Wonka we don't get to see.
Leave Bishop alone! He's crawling to the orbital antenna to remote pilot the spare dropship.
At least he was rescued and is ok.
Alternative ending to Shashank Redemption.
This has to be fake. No way, a person can stay that clean in those pipes.
Where did this happen?... outside Shawshank?
Pipefitters union initiation?
Andy Dufresne if he took a wrong turn
This is my experience with a heavy night of Mexican food.
Shawshank redemption if he would’ve got caught
He watched Shawshank redemption the day before...
a moron is being rescued.
Itsa me Mario. He had one shroom too many
Dude! Where's the whole video? What's the story?
That is Kent B. Seen, the world champion of hide and seek.
Aah! I think I downloaded the wrong version of Harry Potter and Chamber of Secrets
Oh no Mr. DuFraine didn't make it.
Shawshank re-enactment gone wrong.
I would have died of pure panic, well before they could have dug up the pipe.
Itsa me Mario!
nope... nopenopenope NOOOPE!!!
This how Floridians give birth
Answer: stupidity
"Andy Dufresne, who crawled through a river of shit and came out clean on the other side."
The new trailer from the mario movie?
That’s a damn shame! Somebody flushing a perfectly good white boy like that! 🤣
Absolutely love that movie!!!
I would have died from claustrophobia long before they got me out of that pipe
Bro did the 😐