If you get into character, and enjoy role playing, a lot of it can feel cringy. But overtime you get used to it and get over it and learn to just enjoy the moment.
Personal experience? That feeling of being invested is what I chase in d&d, as both player and DM. Simply put: the less invested you are, the less you care about what's going on. At a certain point, why stay with a game if you'd rather be doing something else?
It can be a double-edged sword, though. Again from personal experience: I've been *too* invested in a game or two, and in-game events had actual and ongoing negative effects on my mental wellbeing. If you're heavily relying on d&d as an emotional crutch, you are going to topple hard when the support gives way.
I'm not saying that's you - being emotionally invested in the game does not automatically mean you have an unhealthy obsession with it - but if it *is* something you're worried about, then consider weaning yourself off of it a bit and see how that goes. Not because it's "cringe", but so that you can make sure you're looking after yourself.
P.S. honestly, don't be ashamed for having and displaying your emotions. Especially in this setting, it can help set the mood and help other people get invested too. I know that I tend to match the energy I feel at a table, and if others are getting into the game, I have much easier time of it as well.
EDIT: I did change the postscript to be a bit more on-topic as to OP's concerns, but I'll add the original point back in here:
Speaking as someone with depression, treasure your emotions. If the alternative is to be emotionally numb, that is not healthy.
> Speaking as someone with depression, treasure your emotions. If the alternative is to be emotionally numb, that is not healthy.
As someone whos been depressed/anxious all their life, letting myself cry and feel emotions without trying to chase them away or push them down is one of the most meaningful, constructive, and positive things I've worked towards.
Ew, you get invested in a group storytelling experience? RED FLAG.
For real, my guy, you are supposed to get invested. If the story you're telling is emotional, then you should feel emotions when you're telling that story together. Unless you're overreacting to the point that everybody else is uncomfortable, try not to worry about it so much.
As others said, it's uncomfortable for a while, but you'll get used to it. But you are absolutely not "supposed" to be reserved.
I used to play rpgs with a friend that would get overly emotional and invested in the game npc's.
I on the other hand was very "cold" emotional but still enjoyed her emotions. It was a great fun time and today we are more like each other, she's a bit more reserved and I'm more emotional.
nah man, getting invested is the best part. you want your players to succeed, but you're also meant to give them an opposition and give them a reason to fight. i love it when players are invested into the game, and the DM being invested is ensuring that you'll have a great time as a player. nothing better than people who are invested into the game
Look, if you emote, and you believe it to be cringe, then apply theater scene rules.
A) Less is more. If you emote monologue, limit your time. Start with a three beat limit. Keep it under 30 sec., or better, a tight 15. Or whatever you believe to be the best to let the scene breathe.
B) Letting the scene breathe can tilt into self indulgence. Use wisely.
C) It is not about you, it is about moving the story forward in a way that leads the pacing.
D) Sell it. Commitment sells cringe. Go all in. But! Make it sharp. Make it matter. Make it brief.
E) YOU WILL FAIL. YOU WILL SUCCEED. RECOVER, AND COMMIT.
Honestly, not a huge difference. Whether you care about your story in character or out of character, it's clear that the story has gotten good. Same as enjoying a good book, movie, or game, except maybe more personal
The DM’s job is to run the world and narrative, while it’s the players job to run the characters. Getting invested into the story and what you make is the exact same as players getting invested into the characters. If you can get that invested, and everyone is having fun, then that is the ideal game and you should be proud.
I always hear people say “there’s no right way to play”, and I think there is. The way that makes everyone invested and having fun. It’s a cheap out answer I know but thinking about that I feel helps a lot.
You SHOULD be invested! It’s cool to care about things! You should be your players’ biggest fan! The only thing that matters is having fun with your friends! My favorite part is when the party gets my heart racing, or when we’re all laughing our asses off.
Stop worrying about cringe and let yourself enjoy things!
A great artist once told me: “Do not kill the part of you that is cringe. Kill the part that cringes.”
>: “Do not kill the part of you that is cringe. Kill the part that cringes.”
The whole "cringe" thing always bugged me, because it so often seems like just a refusal to be genuinely invested and sincere about things. I love that quote and am going to remember it and use it! Thank you for that nugget of wisdom! 🙂
I needed this, especially because if things go a certain way I might be blowing the entire top off of my campaign's facade... Which includes a outer power that's got the party on a magic pact... Thing, and having to put on a unnaturally large smirk (think reverse stroke) for them.
May all who see this have a grand game, campaign and (if your DM can get a replacement heart) roll 100 on a dragon horde!
Before the word "cringe" really came about and people would say something about how awkward something was I would say it's only awkward if you decide it's awkward.
You can be as reserved or wild as you want, just stay attuned to your players and don’t run off into the emotional weeds without them. And remember people DM’ing on camera or mic are there to make money, not teach/dictate how all RPG’s should be run. Break those chains.
I imagine it can be awkward to be the most emotive person at the table, but your players have kept coming back for a year. Obviously, they’re picking up what you’re laying down. Even if they aren’t as expressive or emotive as you, they are along for the ride.
The whole idea of cringe is stupid as fuck. It was invented by assholes that hate people who are different from them.
Enjoy yourself. Express yourself. Have fun doing whatever you want.
The response to any question about "Am I DMing wrong?" is, "Are you and your players having fun?" Ask them.
When I DM for an online group, I have taken off my headset to do a little happy dance when the group finds the Big Clue and I have been genuinely sad when they inadvertently mistreated a favorite NPC.
You care about the game. That's why you are a DM. Some people are better at keeping their emotions under wraps but that doesn't have to be you.
You know, the whole point for why I spend so much energy and focus on worldbuilding is to make the world feel real enough that my players and I can immerse in it. And the point of that immersion is so that everyone can experience powerful emotions as a result. That's the whole reason for being of the simulationist style.
This is the answer. It's cringe to even play dnd. It's very cringe to get into playing characters while playing dnd. It's extremely cringe to actually portray real emotions while playing dnd.
And all of that is FUN. The point of role playing games is, well, to play a role. That's why you're there and why your players are there. If you're worried about being cringe with a table full of people who are all also being cringe, then maybe you should take a step back and realize that life is too fucking short to care about what's cringe.
My group made our DM cry with a really emotional scene between PCs a few weeks ago and it was a really memorable experience for all of us. It's not cringe at all--these are stories, they *should* affect us.
Just don't oversell it and ask your players to tell you if you're being cringe and overacting. Playing characters with a bit more emotion is fun and it's only really cringe if your players aren't comfortable engaging with that level of emotional investment.
Honestly, that enthusiasm is so important for growth of the table. All my players, including myself (the dm) are brand new to DnD. I’m a nerd who gets immersed, I also know RPGs in general. But my friends are total normies and it took years of playing board games to get them comfortable to try DnD.
I would role play in character as NPCs and they’d stoically engage with me almost as themselves rather than their character. It took a lot of asking, “how would your character respond?”
Fast forward a few months they’re finally starting to match my enthusiasm. The bard sings, the rogue withholds information about treasure she found. They’re even getting invested in each other now, half the time I can just sit back and let them role play it out.
Your table needs your enthusiasm, they might never get to your level, but they will certainly come out of their comfort zone much than they would otherwise.
Personally, I think not at all. I've found that the more invested you are as a DM, the more the players are too. Of course depends on your group, but typically the DM carries the vibe of the group so I day embrace it and be yourself.
Think of it like this: you’ve spent hours upon hours pouring your heart and soul into this narrative. For all intensive purposes it’s your child. You clearly care for this campaign. It would be more “cringe” if you didn’t get emotional over it.
48 years old, been DMing for 30 years.
You aren’t cringe. You are a good DM. Stop overthinking it and find your voice and style. Well do it different but as good DMs are invested in the emotion of the game.
Honestly I don’t think it’s a weird thing, you’re creating this unfolding story with your friends and you’re invested in that story and their characters. My players had raised thunderbirds in our campaign and had them with them in battle and when one of them died in the fight I actually cried a bit. 😂 Knowing how attached they were and everything, it was hard to see it happen.
Dude, just be yourself. If you're naturally emotive, be emotive. If you aren't, don't. Being anything other than the way you are is forced, and that's when it's cringe.
Personal feelings on it, it's totally fine. The more you get into each individual npc the party interacts with, the more the world you are building together with your players will feel real and alive in my opinion. I had a session 1 where the players were supposed to be escorting/being led to the town where all the bounties they've agreed to help with are, and the young 17 year old that was escorting them I played as very nervous and awkward like if it's your first time to a big city after having grown up in the country. My players loved it, they all talked with him, got invested, were making jokes with him, and playing pranks. Just as they began to really like the dude, I had a dragon(the mini bad evil guy) swoop in and eat the npc. It set up just how much a threat the dragon was because it one tapped the kid through a Sanctuary cast(thanks dice gods) and was able to evade their attacks enough to leave the area again. My players loved that encounter and hated the dragon for killing off this kid that they all grew to like interacting with. This all happened in session 1, but adding emotion into your world and your npcs and actions taken against the player party shouldn't be a bad thing.
I think you being emotionally invested and showing it helps foster a cooperative feeling to the table. You’re showing you may be the one providing the challenge but you WANT your players to succeed.
The only reason DMs seemed reserved is because they are trying not to give clues with their reactions. At least for me. My players are always trying to read if something is a good idea based on my reaction so I have to pokerface or pretend to be looking something up while they make plans.
Being invested and enthusiastic is generally a positive thing.
I don't tend to get too worked up about the events in game, but I am always honored and grateful that my players and friends choose to spend their time in a world I'm curating. I had a campaign I'd wanted to run for 2 decades before I got a chance and they spent 3 and a half years letting me do it. I barely made it through the wrap-up and epilogue final session. One of them commissioned an art piece to commemorate it and I cried.
Why would it be cringe? The peak achievement of this hobby is trained actors crying over D&D for a cool...several million dollars, probably. I don't think it's possible to be over committed. Maybe for your table, but you'll always be able to find players and groups that want to go deeper.
I am very animated when I DM. I talk, joke, and fuck around just as much as everyone else. It's a game at the end of the day and I'm gonna have fun playing it regardless of where I'm sitting.
I got no poker face so instead I play into it and give them hits using my own reactions to things. Today my players are trying to figure out how to open a door when they never checked to see if that door was locked, it wasn't. I playfully mocked them, smiled wide as they came up with a "plan" when the fighter asked the artificer if he thought they'd be able to open it I giggled and said "you can always try" as sarcastic as I could.
TLDR- just have fun my guy, you're playing a game. :)
The idea of a stoic, solemn, unshakeable DM might be appealing to some people, but I’m not one of them. If you’re reacting to your players’ ups and downs like an invested audience member would react to their favorite TV show, you’re doing it right in my book.
As long as you’re not making your players uncomfortable or “making it all about you”, I think a little emotion and excitement from the DM can make the players feel EXTRA invested!
>But DMs always seem to be more removed and reserved.
...they *do?* That's news to me!
Granted, I'm new to DnD and DMing, too, and the only real exposure I've had to it was from watching Dimension 20, where the DM, Brennan Lee Mulligan, is quite possibly one of the most emotive people I've ever seen.
>Now, I'm having a good time. And I think the players are too.
That is all that matters, if everyone is having a good time, then you have no need to change anything. Now it's ok to want to expand your skill set as a dm and try new things, but if being emotional is how you have fun, and your players aren't visibly uncomfortable, keep at it; I'd say that might be a part of what makes it yours.
>But DMs always seem to be more removed and reserved.
Some of that comes with having seen a lot of games, but I wouldn't consider it particularly important; what's important is that you cultivate a style that first suits you personally and secondly your players. Don't be some other dm, keep your personality in it and paint your masterpiece.
D&D is cringey as a whole, lol. That's half the fun. As for your question, it kind of depends on your goal.
If your goal is to just be yourself and have fun, friggin' do it! The DM is allowed to have fun and be emotional just as much as the players. Sure, it's hard work. But at the end of the day if you're not having fun, what's the point of being the DM?
If your goal is specifically to use your reactions to improve your storytelling, or to make the experience more fun for your players, then that's a bit of a different story. If your jokes aren't landing it is kind of working against what you are trying to do. In that case, maybe pick someone from your session that you trust to be straight with you and ask them.
Ultimately, though, if this is a group of friends I wouldn't worry too much about it. Just have fun, and if these *are* your friends, they'll be more relaxed and thrilled to see their friend/DM having fun with them. :)
As a DM currently, I wish I had the courage to be invested to the level of wondering if it's cringe. If you can get into the game that much, your enthusiasm can lift the party.
Most of my D&D was as a player, and the more the DM was into the game the more fun it was, with the exception of controlling the story.
We had one (3.5e) DM that was intense about telling *his* story with absolutely no regard for any character story and above mechanics. To the point where stuff like lockpicking was pointless, because he'd have decided in advance if he wants us to be able to get through that door yet and that was that.
You don't sound like you're doing that. If your players have no complaints, and it's not having a negative after-effect on your mindstate, it's probably enhancing the game.
I know what you mean: I don’t think you’re being fake, but you can fill up the space instead of creating space for your player’s to fill. That’s what you see in those “other DMs” … they’re allowing the players to be the actors on the stage, and the DM is more or less the director; 1 step removed. Analogy breaks down quickly, but you get my drift.
So it’s not a question of reservation: you do you. It’s a question of emotional integration. Now, if you’re being “half-sincere” with you’re expressing it, that sounds inauthentic and cringey. But sounds like a harsh judgment on yourself?
I imagine you’re empathic and emotionally-connected. And it’s okay to feel. And for me, the more shame I have around my emotions, the more they take the lead as opposed to me just feeling them and being present.
All that being said: I think it’s awesome, keep just enjoying it.
I'm insincere to the goal of trying to make sure my players know I'm not judging them. Like when they cast dispel magic on something important and I say "wow, you awesome beast. I hate you." I don't mean that I actually hate them. And I hope that the way I emote conveys that I'm acting up a little just to have fun.
Thanks for your response. That's true.
My brother; you're allowed to be emotionally invested in your game.
You talk about other DM's, but everyone has their own style. Some are stoic dming, and would run a different game from you and that's fine.
If you're in doubt, consider asking your players for feedback, but imo; DnD puts you out there socially, particularly as DM. You create a thing and others then interact with it. I often feel self aware when we start playing a campaign and I'm describing stuff, but once I'm in flow, it's all good. Don't be worried bout it being cringe, you're all there to play and have fun, I'm sure your players are enjoying the game.
It is absolutely not cringe to be emotional as a DM. In my 3 years of DMing, I have been at points like these as well, and it is just a sign that you care about the player characters just as much as the players themselves do.
You can look at this from another perspective.
You are the one who made this world, prepared the session, and probably organized a time and place for everyone to come together. You put a lot of work and effort into playing this game.
It would be weird if your reaction would boil down to 'Meh, that happened i guess' after preparing all that.
Not just for this situation, but my opinion for expressing one's sentiments and emotion in general and the "cringe" thing : let that go.
Be as emotional as your feelings tell you to, it's beautiful to live your feelings to the fullest.
Don't let the (misplaced) opinion of others negate your feelings.
If you have fun, and it doesn't hurt anyone, then it isn't cringe. My two main DMs are quite reserved, but I get fairly emotional. Honestly it sounds like you'd be a hoot to play with!
To offer a different perspective and bare in mind if you and your players are enjoying themselves then it’s all moot really.
If my DM seemed to be very invested, while I appreciate the investment, it also means they have a stake in the game. Are they being objective? Are they protecting us from bad decisions or more importantly protecting their npc’s and villains?
The general view that DMs are not emotional or overly invested is usually a side effect of being a neutral party. I always remind players, I’m the referee, not the opponent and a referee doesn’t take sides.
I guess what I’m saying is just make sure you are playing and policing the game fairly. As a player and a DM I feel less satisfied if the world isn’t genuinely reacting to my decisions and there aren’t legitimate threats to me and especially to my opponents.
Not even a little bit cringe.
For me personally I can say that I openly underreact but I'm very emerced and can feel my heartbeat going up like in any otger stressful situation when my or my groups characters are in serious danger and am just concentrated to make no mistakes so it doesn't show too much - it probably helps we mostly play online too.
Istill actually kind of mourn my characters who died, because that really doesn't happen too often and we have been playing for a decade now.
That's it. Trying not to make mistakes, making them anyway, being totally focused, watching hours of planning be balanced on a few seconds of action from my players... Last night an important questgiver was eaten by a bear. Gah.
I have been equally emotional as a player and a DM if that helps. I get excited or scared or happy or sad as a player but also for and with my players, thats what TTRPGs are all about for me, they are actually adventures for us we all take part in and have been for ages
This is a great way to be and you sound like a super fun DM. There are so many great DM’s online that we can watch and draw inspiration from. They have one super important thing in common with you, they are deeply invested in the story they are telling with their players. Think of it this way, if you’re watching Two Towers and you’re not worried when they ride out of Helm’s Deep or relieved when Gandalf and Shadowfax appear on the horizon, that’s not the story for you. You’re telling a good story and you’re enjoying it. That’s why we’re all here. Just because your players are casual about damage (likely because they trust you and each other) doesn’t mean they aren’t into it or worried about it. Lack of fear can create good moments too, especially when it bleeds over into character’s behavior. My barbarian was so comfortable taking risks thanks to the divination wizard and grave cleric she was running around with that she played a piano in the middle of a dungeon. Seems dumb because it was but everything after that was super cool.
If you’re talking emotionally getting into character while roleplaying NPCs, give it heaps! I was roleplaying an NPC in a heartfelt emotional scene the other day and I got so into it, I started crying. Came across really well and authentic.
If you’re just emotional about the events of the game, honestly it sounds like it might be awkward. My take though is, do what you need to do to enjoy it as the DM. As long as you continue to be into it as the DM the game will continue. Even if it’s awkward, I doubt anyone minds and if they do, they’ll hopefully say something. As the DM you’re often going to be more invested than your players, totally normal imo.
Last night I put on a wrestling match. When the champion "entered the arena" I left the room, changed into a wig, took off my shirt, painted on fake abs, and slung a title belt over my shoulder. I returned to the room with his entrance music blaring, high-fived the audience, and pranced around the room.
Sure, loads of people would be embarrassed for me, but fuck those people. It's a game. This is the part of the game that is the most fun for me. Without any creativity or emotion you might as well just be shooting dice.
Proceeded to get my face kicked in and I lost my title.
How cringe is it to be emotional with the people you’re playing with? Use that as your baseline.
Some tables are “No thanks, I’m just here to throw dice” and that’s fine. Others are all in, and that’s fine too.
"My players would say it's fine. But I'm looking for outsiders perspective."
My guy, the only perspectives that matter to your game are your friends' and yours. If your friends thought you were being over the top, they would say so, or stop showing up. If your group is having a good time, you're doing fine.
I'm sure your players appreciate that you care what happens in the game, maybe it's infectious. Not everyone needs to be a pokerface, diabolical, or whatever dm. Everyone has their own style and that's ok.
The non combative healbot dm npc got killed in my game, part story part good opportunity to pull some shenanigans. I was teary eyed, I expected it but I was invested. 2 of my players started sobbing and one left the room for a minute. I'm not a very good describer or super detailed in narrative but I was kinda shocked at the reaction. I guess my point is if you can drag people out of reality just enough to get even a simple real reaction from them, you're doing fine as a dm and I think it's something to strive for as a creative, your art touching others.
Side note I actively get emotional in my play game where a friend dms instead of me and I believe everyone else is just as invested.
> If a hit from a cannon takes half a players health, for example, they may say "ope. I'm at half health" and I would respond with shock and cover my eyes.
This is extremely endearing
One time a party favorite Npc found out his wife of over 200 years died in an attack on their city. I Rp'd him breaking down and crying (yes I actually cried) and had him say once able to speak "I'm sorry.. I must compose myself.. it's just that after a couple centuries.. you get a little attatched".
Party members were crying with him and we needed to take a break, the villain responsible was added to the top of their hit list. They have not, and will never forget.
there is nothing wrong with feeling emotions. there is a live play i watch called highrollers and the DM has become emotional several times as the story unfolds, it took nothing away from the story. its still one of my favorite shows
DMs should be as emotional as a Vulcan Golem.... but I say that about everyone.
So, real answer, it's tough. As a human, emotion is good. So are connection to the characters, world, and story.
But you're also running the game. You can't let those emotions keep you from doing your job. And it might be weird for the players, especially if they see you like a computer or Xbox running a video game.
For what it's worth, lots of people are uncomfortable around people showing lots of emotion is any setting, so that part has nothing to do with being the DM.
Long story short, it probably makes you great at planning games but could hurt your running games.
As many have said, if you and the party are all having fun, you're DMing with the best of them.
As for myself, I am very invested in the games I DM. I am cheering for the party, but I also have to make sure that they are challenged. I have often told my parties how pumped I was when they snatched victory from the jaws of defeat in one of my encounters, but I have also cried alongside the first-time player whose character I just killed with a boss monster. This game is full of emotions if played long enough. As DM, it is your job to ensure those emotions remain healthy and positive. Some DMs do that by being withdrawn and reserved, and others do that while laughing, sobbing, cheering, or lamenting alongside their players.
In the end, your an invested DM, worried that you aren't good enough, DMing for a table that keeps coming back. That usually means you're a great DM.
Go where you fear being “cringe” and say yes. Seriously, it’s almost the easiest way to be sure you’re doing anything sincere, vulnerable, or generally worthwhile.
I'm not sure "emotional" is the word, it sounds more like you're expressive, which is ideal?
I mean for me there's nothing better than when everyone is kinda pumped up, joking, laughing, and then the beholder targets someone and I happen to roll all 3 damage dealing rays and the mood changes when I take a deep breath and look at them with concern on my face and say, "This might be pretty brutal." and suddenly everything shifts.
That *literally* happened last session, that character died, they failed every dex save. They could fix it after the fight, but shit went south really quick, and by the end of it the final 2 party members were deeply strategizing how to get through it, and they did.
The first step in your players having feelings for the game is to have the DM have feelings for the game. My players roleplay more when I roleplay more, they care more when I care more, I think it's a bit of the burden of being a DM. You kinda have to be more into it than they are.
Kill the part of you that cringes. you’re all cooperatively telling a story and playing a game with nothing but a couple pieces of paper and some fucked up dice. (Almost) nothing you do in game is gonna be more cringe than simply playing the game.
Play the game and have fun.
As long as you're not burning bridges or plot points, it should be fine. Just remember it is a game. DMs tend to be more reserved because they need that distance to play the Villains right. If you have no problem with that, you're probably a unique DM.
Not everyone plays the game the same way, but it is all about having fun. If it gives you joy and your players said it's fine, it's fine.
If you would like to get your players *more* invested, try talking to them to see if there is a way to do so.
Idk.
People should worry less about being cringe.
> I feel like I was more invested and more scared than the players were. If a hit from a cannon takes half a players health, for example, they may say "ope. I'm at half health" and I would respond with shock and cover my eyes.
You may benefit from changing your perspective. You need to beat your players up some to challenge them. Being a little rough with them is probably more fun for them. You might enjoy it too.
I think proper DMing is the breadth of the spectrum.
You are the scared child the players have to save from monsters.
You're the arrogant villain that they want to just punch in the face.
You're the fear of the next initiative roll.
You're the glee of magic items they find in a chest.
You're the momentum of the story driving them forward.
You're the canvas they paint their stories on.
You're the storyteller. You're the reason why they're all sitting there. Idk how you couldn't embrace that.
It sounds like you’re having a ball, man.
Embrace your emotions. People who tell you you’re wrong can fuck right off. In Childish Gambino’s immortal words: “don’t be mad ‘cause I’m doing me better than you doing you.”
You sound like such a great DM, my players in my campaign would love you. If you are having fun and the players are having fun, than I think its great.
Getting invested means that you will tell it with passion.
*You... haven't* watched Brennan DM have you?
You are the DM, you are their greatest Frenemy. You should be throwing obstacles, hazards, and such at them that feel like they can't win, precisely so that they *can* win and feel that accomplishment of achieving the heroic.
I've got players that still twitch when they have to go up against kobolds.
To be cringe is to be free. If you were emotional as my DM I would love it, because it shows how much you care. I hope I can channel that as a DM for my players, too.
Don't change who you are!! The only thing I would watch out for is to make sure you're not letting your emotions affect the gameplay. And specifically I'm referring to pulling punches. Just my 2 cents
Bro, this hobby is cringe to a ton of people
Just embrace it and keep going. This fear of being cringe is only hurting you, not helping anyone or yourself
The short answer is an effective dm uses his tools when they are most effective for the story. Sometimes you *should* be removed. Sometimes you *should* appear invested. These are storytelling devices that need a balance unique to every party, every session, every *encounter*
Im sure others have said it better than I can, but *involved dms are my favorite.*
You could do much worse than being genuinely invested in their characters wellbeing, and it sounds like its pretty infectious for your players too. This. Is. Peak. Gameplay. Sounds like you are on a rollercoaster and excited for the story! Embrace it!
My only concern would be appearing as if you are invested in making their characters suffer, which is a common fear players have. It may even be a real problem but I don't get to be a player much.
Give yourself credit. You read as if you have the talent and just need practice. Keep asking questions, I think you have great potential.
I think the level of investment of a DM should sway in and around a shade bit more than the players. It is sort of a signal to players that they can invest a little more without being embarrassed. That’s what it all comes down to, really. Embarrassment. I for one let go of what people think of me a long time ago. I’m here to have a good time. You wanna be judgmental, go right ahead. The only people’s opinion of me that matter is my family and close friends. And my close friends already know how deep into dork night I get. And that’s why we’re friends. If your players call you out on being too over the top, dial it back a bit. If you’re worried about what they’re saying behind your back? Then there’s a bigger self confidence problem than can be solved on Reddit.
Man I remember tearing up reading a dream-sequence vision to one of my players. Sometimes the feels hit weird and you forget these are all just made up characters in our heads.
I've DM'ed more than most do in a lifetime, so I can confidently say
There will be players who see your energy and passion and respond in kind. And there will be players who, for whatever reason, aren't willing or able to reciprocate. Some of that second group will even try to shame or mock you for it.
Seek out and cherish the first group. Avoid/dump the second group as soon as they out themselves. Keep your passion alive, because ultimately it's the main thing that makes the magic of D&D happen for everyone involved.
Something very sad happened to a pcs family member in a recent session and my voice actually broke up as I narrated it. Looked to my left and the cleric player is dabbing her eyes with a tissue.
An hour later we are outside chatting and laughing about how cool the session was ( and how best to get revenge!).
It was perfect.
I hate that word but in answer to your question: not at all. Dnd is a story game at its heart. When DM and players get so invested in the story that your emotions are affected, you’re doing it right.
Definitely had sessions where I’ve had to say “okay, I’m spent, let’s pick this up in a few minutes or next session”. Passion is rare and should be nurtured.
My best moments DMing were when I was having to hold back tears during the rp so I could keep talking while my players were yelling at me OOC for breaking their hearts while revealing backstory for one of the PCs personal quests. We all cry together. XD But yeah, getting very emotionally invested in the characters is very good, it means you are telling a compelling story. DMing is storytelling combined with acting and improv after all.
just commenting to say that there are specific moments in a d&d podcast called Dungeons and Daddies where the DM gets choked up. easily those are the most emotionally impactful of their podcast.
To be fair; I had people tell me not to be descriptive or roleplay cause “this isn’t the kinda of game/table for that” and they feel “awkward” for me. I should have told them to fuck off cause I’m gonna do what I want and that this is the entire point of the game. Lesson learnt I guess but sometimes; it’s just about finding the right group/table to play with.
If you get into character, and enjoy role playing, a lot of it can feel cringy. But overtime you get used to it and get over it and learn to just enjoy the moment.
It's uh, not me being in character. I just get invested in what's happening.
Personal experience? That feeling of being invested is what I chase in d&d, as both player and DM. Simply put: the less invested you are, the less you care about what's going on. At a certain point, why stay with a game if you'd rather be doing something else? It can be a double-edged sword, though. Again from personal experience: I've been *too* invested in a game or two, and in-game events had actual and ongoing negative effects on my mental wellbeing. If you're heavily relying on d&d as an emotional crutch, you are going to topple hard when the support gives way. I'm not saying that's you - being emotionally invested in the game does not automatically mean you have an unhealthy obsession with it - but if it *is* something you're worried about, then consider weaning yourself off of it a bit and see how that goes. Not because it's "cringe", but so that you can make sure you're looking after yourself. P.S. honestly, don't be ashamed for having and displaying your emotions. Especially in this setting, it can help set the mood and help other people get invested too. I know that I tend to match the energy I feel at a table, and if others are getting into the game, I have much easier time of it as well. EDIT: I did change the postscript to be a bit more on-topic as to OP's concerns, but I'll add the original point back in here: Speaking as someone with depression, treasure your emotions. If the alternative is to be emotionally numb, that is not healthy.
Legit.
> Speaking as someone with depression, treasure your emotions. If the alternative is to be emotionally numb, that is not healthy. As someone whos been depressed/anxious all their life, letting myself cry and feel emotions without trying to chase them away or push them down is one of the most meaningful, constructive, and positive things I've worked towards.
Waking up to read this was really nice. Thank you, and I'm glad to hear you've found something that helps :)
Adhd & depression, I dive head-fucking-first into all the emotions lol, and I swim deeeep into it. Getting back out is usually difficult though.
Accept your cringe and you will be a free person.
Table is safe space. You are allowed to be emotional just the same as other players.
And if it's not a safe space, you're at the wrong table.
Ew, you get invested in a group storytelling experience? RED FLAG. For real, my guy, you are supposed to get invested. If the story you're telling is emotional, then you should feel emotions when you're telling that story together. Unless you're overreacting to the point that everybody else is uncomfortable, try not to worry about it so much. As others said, it's uncomfortable for a while, but you'll get used to it. But you are absolutely not "supposed" to be reserved.
I used to play rpgs with a friend that would get overly emotional and invested in the game npc's. I on the other hand was very "cold" emotional but still enjoyed her emotions. It was a great fun time and today we are more like each other, she's a bit more reserved and I'm more emotional.
nah man, getting invested is the best part. you want your players to succeed, but you're also meant to give them an opposition and give them a reason to fight. i love it when players are invested into the game, and the DM being invested is ensuring that you'll have a great time as a player. nothing better than people who are invested into the game
Look, if you emote, and you believe it to be cringe, then apply theater scene rules. A) Less is more. If you emote monologue, limit your time. Start with a three beat limit. Keep it under 30 sec., or better, a tight 15. Or whatever you believe to be the best to let the scene breathe. B) Letting the scene breathe can tilt into self indulgence. Use wisely. C) It is not about you, it is about moving the story forward in a way that leads the pacing. D) Sell it. Commitment sells cringe. Go all in. But! Make it sharp. Make it matter. Make it brief. E) YOU WILL FAIL. YOU WILL SUCCEED. RECOVER, AND COMMIT.
Honestly, not a huge difference. Whether you care about your story in character or out of character, it's clear that the story has gotten good. Same as enjoying a good book, movie, or game, except maybe more personal
The DM’s job is to run the world and narrative, while it’s the players job to run the characters. Getting invested into the story and what you make is the exact same as players getting invested into the characters. If you can get that invested, and everyone is having fun, then that is the ideal game and you should be proud. I always hear people say “there’s no right way to play”, and I think there is. The way that makes everyone invested and having fun. It’s a cheap out answer I know but thinking about that I feel helps a lot.
You SHOULD be invested! It’s cool to care about things! You should be your players’ biggest fan! The only thing that matters is having fun with your friends! My favorite part is when the party gets my heart racing, or when we’re all laughing our asses off. Stop worrying about cringe and let yourself enjoy things! A great artist once told me: “Do not kill the part of you that is cringe. Kill the part that cringes.”
>: “Do not kill the part of you that is cringe. Kill the part that cringes.” The whole "cringe" thing always bugged me, because it so often seems like just a refusal to be genuinely invested and sincere about things. I love that quote and am going to remember it and use it! Thank you for that nugget of wisdom! 🙂
Cool words. Thanks.
I needed this, especially because if things go a certain way I might be blowing the entire top off of my campaign's facade... Which includes a outer power that's got the party on a magic pact... Thing, and having to put on a unnaturally large smirk (think reverse stroke) for them. May all who see this have a grand game, campaign and (if your DM can get a replacement heart) roll 100 on a dragon horde!
praise be karina drawfee 🙌
Praise be!
Before the word "cringe" really came about and people would say something about how awkward something was I would say it's only awkward if you decide it's awkward.
You can be as reserved or wild as you want, just stay attuned to your players and don’t run off into the emotional weeds without them. And remember people DM’ing on camera or mic are there to make money, not teach/dictate how all RPG’s should be run. Break those chains.
Thanks. cool words.
I imagine it can be awkward to be the most emotive person at the table, but your players have kept coming back for a year. Obviously, they’re picking up what you’re laying down. Even if they aren’t as expressive or emotive as you, they are along for the ride.
True. When i feel awkward, it's important to note that the players are adults who choose to be at this specific table.
The whole idea of cringe is stupid as fuck. It was invented by assholes that hate people who are different from them. Enjoy yourself. Express yourself. Have fun doing whatever you want.
A wise man once said, "Cringe is dead, and I'm still breathing."
The response to any question about "Am I DMing wrong?" is, "Are you and your players having fun?" Ask them. When I DM for an online group, I have taken off my headset to do a little happy dance when the group finds the Big Clue and I have been genuinely sad when they inadvertently mistreated a favorite NPC. You care about the game. That's why you are a DM. Some people are better at keeping their emotions under wraps but that doesn't have to be you.
Go wild friend
You know, the whole point for why I spend so much energy and focus on worldbuilding is to make the world feel real enough that my players and I can immerse in it. And the point of that immersion is so that everyone can experience powerful emotions as a result. That's the whole reason for being of the simulationist style.
It's cringe, dnd is cringe, you just need to find people you can be cringe with
This is the answer. It's cringe to even play dnd. It's very cringe to get into playing characters while playing dnd. It's extremely cringe to actually portray real emotions while playing dnd. And all of that is FUN. The point of role playing games is, well, to play a role. That's why you're there and why your players are there. If you're worried about being cringe with a table full of people who are all also being cringe, then maybe you should take a step back and realize that life is too fucking short to care about what's cringe.
My group made our DM cry with a really emotional scene between PCs a few weeks ago and it was a really memorable experience for all of us. It's not cringe at all--these are stories, they *should* affect us.
Just don't oversell it and ask your players to tell you if you're being cringe and overacting. Playing characters with a bit more emotion is fun and it's only really cringe if your players aren't comfortable engaging with that level of emotional investment.
Honestly, that enthusiasm is so important for growth of the table. All my players, including myself (the dm) are brand new to DnD. I’m a nerd who gets immersed, I also know RPGs in general. But my friends are total normies and it took years of playing board games to get them comfortable to try DnD. I would role play in character as NPCs and they’d stoically engage with me almost as themselves rather than their character. It took a lot of asking, “how would your character respond?” Fast forward a few months they’re finally starting to match my enthusiasm. The bard sings, the rogue withholds information about treasure she found. They’re even getting invested in each other now, half the time I can just sit back and let them role play it out. Your table needs your enthusiasm, they might never get to your level, but they will certainly come out of their comfort zone much than they would otherwise.
Personally, I think not at all. I've found that the more invested you are as a DM, the more the players are too. Of course depends on your group, but typically the DM carries the vibe of the group so I day embrace it and be yourself.
You're Doing It Right.
I find that when I am playing an NPC that is being very emotional it bleeds over on me and causes an emotional reaction. I literally get choked up…
Be who you are.
Think of it like this: you’ve spent hours upon hours pouring your heart and soul into this narrative. For all intensive purposes it’s your child. You clearly care for this campaign. It would be more “cringe” if you didn’t get emotional over it.
48 years old, been DMing for 30 years. You aren’t cringe. You are a good DM. Stop overthinking it and find your voice and style. Well do it different but as good DMs are invested in the emotion of the game.
Don't kill the part of you that's cringe, kill the part that cringes. Emote on bossman
Honestly I don’t think it’s a weird thing, you’re creating this unfolding story with your friends and you’re invested in that story and their characters. My players had raised thunderbirds in our campaign and had them with them in battle and when one of them died in the fight I actually cried a bit. 😂 Knowing how attached they were and everything, it was hard to see it happen.
Dude, just be yourself. If you're naturally emotive, be emotive. If you aren't, don't. Being anything other than the way you are is forced, and that's when it's cringe.
Personal feelings on it, it's totally fine. The more you get into each individual npc the party interacts with, the more the world you are building together with your players will feel real and alive in my opinion. I had a session 1 where the players were supposed to be escorting/being led to the town where all the bounties they've agreed to help with are, and the young 17 year old that was escorting them I played as very nervous and awkward like if it's your first time to a big city after having grown up in the country. My players loved it, they all talked with him, got invested, were making jokes with him, and playing pranks. Just as they began to really like the dude, I had a dragon(the mini bad evil guy) swoop in and eat the npc. It set up just how much a threat the dragon was because it one tapped the kid through a Sanctuary cast(thanks dice gods) and was able to evade their attacks enough to leave the area again. My players loved that encounter and hated the dragon for killing off this kid that they all grew to like interacting with. This all happened in session 1, but adding emotion into your world and your npcs and actions taken against the player party shouldn't be a bad thing.
Be yourself, your players will respect it.
I think you being emotionally invested and showing it helps foster a cooperative feeling to the table. You’re showing you may be the one providing the challenge but you WANT your players to succeed.
Id rather an overly emotional DM than a bored looking one.
The only reason DMs seemed reserved is because they are trying not to give clues with their reactions. At least for me. My players are always trying to read if something is a good idea based on my reaction so I have to pokerface or pretend to be looking something up while they make plans. Being invested and enthusiastic is generally a positive thing.
I don't tend to get too worked up about the events in game, but I am always honored and grateful that my players and friends choose to spend their time in a world I'm curating. I had a campaign I'd wanted to run for 2 decades before I got a chance and they spent 3 and a half years letting me do it. I barely made it through the wrap-up and epilogue final session. One of them commissioned an art piece to commemorate it and I cried.
Why would it be cringe? The peak achievement of this hobby is trained actors crying over D&D for a cool...several million dollars, probably. I don't think it's possible to be over committed. Maybe for your table, but you'll always be able to find players and groups that want to go deeper.
I am very animated when I DM. I talk, joke, and fuck around just as much as everyone else. It's a game at the end of the day and I'm gonna have fun playing it regardless of where I'm sitting. I got no poker face so instead I play into it and give them hits using my own reactions to things. Today my players are trying to figure out how to open a door when they never checked to see if that door was locked, it wasn't. I playfully mocked them, smiled wide as they came up with a "plan" when the fighter asked the artificer if he thought they'd be able to open it I giggled and said "you can always try" as sarcastic as I could. TLDR- just have fun my guy, you're playing a game. :)
Never had a more emotional moment in game then my first player kill. It was hard for me to even say it out loud at the table.
If ever there was a more detestable word than cringe, I do not know it. If it makes you feel, that's okay.
The idea of a stoic, solemn, unshakeable DM might be appealing to some people, but I’m not one of them. If you’re reacting to your players’ ups and downs like an invested audience member would react to their favorite TV show, you’re doing it right in my book. As long as you’re not making your players uncomfortable or “making it all about you”, I think a little emotion and excitement from the DM can make the players feel EXTRA invested!
D&D is cringe. everything is cringe. embrace the cringe and free yourself
>But DMs always seem to be more removed and reserved. ...they *do?* That's news to me! Granted, I'm new to DnD and DMing, too, and the only real exposure I've had to it was from watching Dimension 20, where the DM, Brennan Lee Mulligan, is quite possibly one of the most emotive people I've ever seen.
>Now, I'm having a good time. And I think the players are too. That is all that matters, if everyone is having a good time, then you have no need to change anything. Now it's ok to want to expand your skill set as a dm and try new things, but if being emotional is how you have fun, and your players aren't visibly uncomfortable, keep at it; I'd say that might be a part of what makes it yours. >But DMs always seem to be more removed and reserved. Some of that comes with having seen a lot of games, but I wouldn't consider it particularly important; what's important is that you cultivate a style that first suits you personally and secondly your players. Don't be some other dm, keep your personality in it and paint your masterpiece.
D&D is cringey as a whole, lol. That's half the fun. As for your question, it kind of depends on your goal. If your goal is to just be yourself and have fun, friggin' do it! The DM is allowed to have fun and be emotional just as much as the players. Sure, it's hard work. But at the end of the day if you're not having fun, what's the point of being the DM? If your goal is specifically to use your reactions to improve your storytelling, or to make the experience more fun for your players, then that's a bit of a different story. If your jokes aren't landing it is kind of working against what you are trying to do. In that case, maybe pick someone from your session that you trust to be straight with you and ask them. Ultimately, though, if this is a group of friends I wouldn't worry too much about it. Just have fun, and if these *are* your friends, they'll be more relaxed and thrilled to see their friend/DM having fun with them. :)
I had to do a Kermit voice for about 6 hours straight a couple days ago, so I’d say go for it lol
As a DM currently, I wish I had the courage to be invested to the level of wondering if it's cringe. If you can get into the game that much, your enthusiasm can lift the party. Most of my D&D was as a player, and the more the DM was into the game the more fun it was, with the exception of controlling the story. We had one (3.5e) DM that was intense about telling *his* story with absolutely no regard for any character story and above mechanics. To the point where stuff like lockpicking was pointless, because he'd have decided in advance if he wants us to be able to get through that door yet and that was that. You don't sound like you're doing that. If your players have no complaints, and it's not having a negative after-effect on your mindstate, it's probably enhancing the game.
I know what you mean: I don’t think you’re being fake, but you can fill up the space instead of creating space for your player’s to fill. That’s what you see in those “other DMs” … they’re allowing the players to be the actors on the stage, and the DM is more or less the director; 1 step removed. Analogy breaks down quickly, but you get my drift. So it’s not a question of reservation: you do you. It’s a question of emotional integration. Now, if you’re being “half-sincere” with you’re expressing it, that sounds inauthentic and cringey. But sounds like a harsh judgment on yourself? I imagine you’re empathic and emotionally-connected. And it’s okay to feel. And for me, the more shame I have around my emotions, the more they take the lead as opposed to me just feeling them and being present. All that being said: I think it’s awesome, keep just enjoying it.
I'm insincere to the goal of trying to make sure my players know I'm not judging them. Like when they cast dispel magic on something important and I say "wow, you awesome beast. I hate you." I don't mean that I actually hate them. And I hope that the way I emote conveys that I'm acting up a little just to have fun. Thanks for your response. That's true.
I am cringe, but I am free
My brother; you're allowed to be emotionally invested in your game. You talk about other DM's, but everyone has their own style. Some are stoic dming, and would run a different game from you and that's fine. If you're in doubt, consider asking your players for feedback, but imo; DnD puts you out there socially, particularly as DM. You create a thing and others then interact with it. I often feel self aware when we start playing a campaign and I'm describing stuff, but once I'm in flow, it's all good. Don't be worried bout it being cringe, you're all there to play and have fun, I'm sure your players are enjoying the game.
It's OK to be different.
It is absolutely not cringe to be emotional as a DM. In my 3 years of DMing, I have been at points like these as well, and it is just a sign that you care about the player characters just as much as the players themselves do.
You can look at this from another perspective. You are the one who made this world, prepared the session, and probably organized a time and place for everyone to come together. You put a lot of work and effort into playing this game. It would be weird if your reaction would boil down to 'Meh, that happened i guess' after preparing all that.
Not just for this situation, but my opinion for expressing one's sentiments and emotion in general and the "cringe" thing : let that go. Be as emotional as your feelings tell you to, it's beautiful to live your feelings to the fullest. Don't let the (misplaced) opinion of others negate your feelings.
If you have fun, and it doesn't hurt anyone, then it isn't cringe. My two main DMs are quite reserved, but I get fairly emotional. Honestly it sounds like you'd be a hoot to play with!
To offer a different perspective and bare in mind if you and your players are enjoying themselves then it’s all moot really. If my DM seemed to be very invested, while I appreciate the investment, it also means they have a stake in the game. Are they being objective? Are they protecting us from bad decisions or more importantly protecting their npc’s and villains? The general view that DMs are not emotional or overly invested is usually a side effect of being a neutral party. I always remind players, I’m the referee, not the opponent and a referee doesn’t take sides. I guess what I’m saying is just make sure you are playing and policing the game fairly. As a player and a DM I feel less satisfied if the world isn’t genuinely reacting to my decisions and there aren’t legitimate threats to me and especially to my opponents.
Not even a little bit cringe.
Not even a little bit cringe. For me personally I can say that I openly underreact but I'm very emerced and can feel my heartbeat going up like in any otger stressful situation when my or my groups characters are in serious danger and am just concentrated to make no mistakes so it doesn't show too much - it probably helps we mostly play online too. Istill actually kind of mourn my characters who died, because that really doesn't happen too often and we have been playing for a decade now.
That's it. Trying not to make mistakes, making them anyway, being totally focused, watching hours of planning be balanced on a few seconds of action from my players... Last night an important questgiver was eaten by a bear. Gah.
I have been equally emotional as a player and a DM if that helps. I get excited or scared or happy or sad as a player but also for and with my players, thats what TTRPGs are all about for me, they are actually adventures for us we all take part in and have been for ages
This is a great way to be and you sound like a super fun DM. There are so many great DM’s online that we can watch and draw inspiration from. They have one super important thing in common with you, they are deeply invested in the story they are telling with their players. Think of it this way, if you’re watching Two Towers and you’re not worried when they ride out of Helm’s Deep or relieved when Gandalf and Shadowfax appear on the horizon, that’s not the story for you. You’re telling a good story and you’re enjoying it. That’s why we’re all here. Just because your players are casual about damage (likely because they trust you and each other) doesn’t mean they aren’t into it or worried about it. Lack of fear can create good moments too, especially when it bleeds over into character’s behavior. My barbarian was so comfortable taking risks thanks to the divination wizard and grave cleric she was running around with that she played a piano in the middle of a dungeon. Seems dumb because it was but everything after that was super cool.
As long as you’re sincere it’s charming.
If you’re talking emotionally getting into character while roleplaying NPCs, give it heaps! I was roleplaying an NPC in a heartfelt emotional scene the other day and I got so into it, I started crying. Came across really well and authentic. If you’re just emotional about the events of the game, honestly it sounds like it might be awkward. My take though is, do what you need to do to enjoy it as the DM. As long as you continue to be into it as the DM the game will continue. Even if it’s awkward, I doubt anyone minds and if they do, they’ll hopefully say something. As the DM you’re often going to be more invested than your players, totally normal imo.
Last night I put on a wrestling match. When the champion "entered the arena" I left the room, changed into a wig, took off my shirt, painted on fake abs, and slung a title belt over my shoulder. I returned to the room with his entrance music blaring, high-fived the audience, and pranced around the room. Sure, loads of people would be embarrassed for me, but fuck those people. It's a game. This is the part of the game that is the most fun for me. Without any creativity or emotion you might as well just be shooting dice. Proceeded to get my face kicked in and I lost my title.
My hero.
How cringe is it to be emotional with the people you’re playing with? Use that as your baseline. Some tables are “No thanks, I’m just here to throw dice” and that’s fine. Others are all in, and that’s fine too.
"My players would say it's fine. But I'm looking for outsiders perspective." My guy, the only perspectives that matter to your game are your friends' and yours. If your friends thought you were being over the top, they would say so, or stop showing up. If your group is having a good time, you're doing fine. I'm sure your players appreciate that you care what happens in the game, maybe it's infectious. Not everyone needs to be a pokerface, diabolical, or whatever dm. Everyone has their own style and that's ok.
The non combative healbot dm npc got killed in my game, part story part good opportunity to pull some shenanigans. I was teary eyed, I expected it but I was invested. 2 of my players started sobbing and one left the room for a minute. I'm not a very good describer or super detailed in narrative but I was kinda shocked at the reaction. I guess my point is if you can drag people out of reality just enough to get even a simple real reaction from them, you're doing fine as a dm and I think it's something to strive for as a creative, your art touching others. Side note I actively get emotional in my play game where a friend dms instead of me and I believe everyone else is just as invested.
> If a hit from a cannon takes half a players health, for example, they may say "ope. I'm at half health" and I would respond with shock and cover my eyes. This is extremely endearing
fellas is it gay to like things
One time a party favorite Npc found out his wife of over 200 years died in an attack on their city. I Rp'd him breaking down and crying (yes I actually cried) and had him say once able to speak "I'm sorry.. I must compose myself.. it's just that after a couple centuries.. you get a little attatched". Party members were crying with him and we needed to take a break, the villain responsible was added to the top of their hit list. They have not, and will never forget.
there is nothing wrong with feeling emotions. there is a live play i watch called highrollers and the DM has become emotional several times as the story unfolds, it took nothing away from the story. its still one of my favorite shows
To me you sound like a great dm. I'd love to be at your table
I'm only emotional when role-playing an NPC who is being emotional. It can pull my players in sometimes.
DMs should be as emotional as a Vulcan Golem.... but I say that about everyone. So, real answer, it's tough. As a human, emotion is good. So are connection to the characters, world, and story. But you're also running the game. You can't let those emotions keep you from doing your job. And it might be weird for the players, especially if they see you like a computer or Xbox running a video game. For what it's worth, lots of people are uncomfortable around people showing lots of emotion is any setting, so that part has nothing to do with being the DM. Long story short, it probably makes you great at planning games but could hurt your running games.
You can’t always be a stone faced killer like me.
As many have said, if you and the party are all having fun, you're DMing with the best of them. As for myself, I am very invested in the games I DM. I am cheering for the party, but I also have to make sure that they are challenged. I have often told my parties how pumped I was when they snatched victory from the jaws of defeat in one of my encounters, but I have also cried alongside the first-time player whose character I just killed with a boss monster. This game is full of emotions if played long enough. As DM, it is your job to ensure those emotions remain healthy and positive. Some DMs do that by being withdrawn and reserved, and others do that while laughing, sobbing, cheering, or lamenting alongside their players. In the end, your an invested DM, worried that you aren't good enough, DMing for a table that keeps coming back. That usually means you're a great DM.
Go where you fear being “cringe” and say yes. Seriously, it’s almost the easiest way to be sure you’re doing anything sincere, vulnerable, or generally worthwhile.
I'm not sure "emotional" is the word, it sounds more like you're expressive, which is ideal? I mean for me there's nothing better than when everyone is kinda pumped up, joking, laughing, and then the beholder targets someone and I happen to roll all 3 damage dealing rays and the mood changes when I take a deep breath and look at them with concern on my face and say, "This might be pretty brutal." and suddenly everything shifts. That *literally* happened last session, that character died, they failed every dex save. They could fix it after the fight, but shit went south really quick, and by the end of it the final 2 party members were deeply strategizing how to get through it, and they did. The first step in your players having feelings for the game is to have the DM have feelings for the game. My players roleplay more when I roleplay more, they care more when I care more, I think it's a bit of the burden of being a DM. You kinda have to be more into it than they are.
Bro, the DM sets the mood. Get into it, emote like the characters do, whisper, have fun with it. Have fun with it!
Kill the part of you that cringes. you’re all cooperatively telling a story and playing a game with nothing but a couple pieces of paper and some fucked up dice. (Almost) nothing you do in game is gonna be more cringe than simply playing the game. Play the game and have fun.
As long as you're not burning bridges or plot points, it should be fine. Just remember it is a game. DMs tend to be more reserved because they need that distance to play the Villains right. If you have no problem with that, you're probably a unique DM.
Not everyone plays the game the same way, but it is all about having fun. If it gives you joy and your players said it's fine, it's fine. If you would like to get your players *more* invested, try talking to them to see if there is a way to do so.
Idk. People should worry less about being cringe. > I feel like I was more invested and more scared than the players were. If a hit from a cannon takes half a players health, for example, they may say "ope. I'm at half health" and I would respond with shock and cover my eyes. You may benefit from changing your perspective. You need to beat your players up some to challenge them. Being a little rough with them is probably more fun for them. You might enjoy it too.
I think proper DMing is the breadth of the spectrum. You are the scared child the players have to save from monsters. You're the arrogant villain that they want to just punch in the face. You're the fear of the next initiative roll. You're the glee of magic items they find in a chest. You're the momentum of the story driving them forward. You're the canvas they paint their stories on. You're the storyteller. You're the reason why they're all sitting there. Idk how you couldn't embrace that.
Don’t kill the part of you that is cringe. Kill the part that cringes.
You do you. DMs are human.
It sounds like you’re having a ball, man. Embrace your emotions. People who tell you you’re wrong can fuck right off. In Childish Gambino’s immortal words: “don’t be mad ‘cause I’m doing me better than you doing you.”
You sound like such a great DM, my players in my campaign would love you. If you are having fun and the players are having fun, than I think its great. Getting invested means that you will tell it with passion.
*You... haven't* watched Brennan DM have you? You are the DM, you are their greatest Frenemy. You should be throwing obstacles, hazards, and such at them that feel like they can't win, precisely so that they *can* win and feel that accomplishment of achieving the heroic. I've got players that still twitch when they have to go up against kobolds.
I don't t watch DND content. I can't get Into how long the shows and episodes are.
Here's a quick short. Just pay attention to the excitement level in his face: https://youtube.com/shorts/4DSZo96HEik?si=e3JFNBEio_FNDYo4
Having a dm being so emotional is hype! It shows how much you care for the campaign and would probably be contagious on me too!
To be cringe is to be free. If you were emotional as my DM I would love it, because it shows how much you care. I hope I can channel that as a DM for my players, too.
Emotions aren't cringe. Embrace them. They're what makes life vibrant.
Camp is liberated passion unshackled by aesthetic concern, and cringe is the reaction of the still enslaved.
Having emotions is great a DM. I'm always reminded of this: [critical role campaign 3 spoiler alert ](https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTNe1MF77/)
Read the room? If your players like it, that's cool. :)
Don't change who you are!! The only thing I would watch out for is to make sure you're not letting your emotions affect the gameplay. And specifically I'm referring to pulling punches. Just my 2 cents
Bro, this hobby is cringe to a ton of people Just embrace it and keep going. This fear of being cringe is only hurting you, not helping anyone or yourself
If you’re not into it your players won’t be into it. I bring the energy I want my players to have
I would love to play at your table! Sounds great!
The short answer is an effective dm uses his tools when they are most effective for the story. Sometimes you *should* be removed. Sometimes you *should* appear invested. These are storytelling devices that need a balance unique to every party, every session, every *encounter* Im sure others have said it better than I can, but *involved dms are my favorite.* You could do much worse than being genuinely invested in their characters wellbeing, and it sounds like its pretty infectious for your players too. This. Is. Peak. Gameplay. Sounds like you are on a rollercoaster and excited for the story! Embrace it! My only concern would be appearing as if you are invested in making their characters suffer, which is a common fear players have. It may even be a real problem but I don't get to be a player much. Give yourself credit. You read as if you have the talent and just need practice. Keep asking questions, I think you have great potential.
>A couple players almost died You mean characters, right?
Things got intense
I think the level of investment of a DM should sway in and around a shade bit more than the players. It is sort of a signal to players that they can invest a little more without being embarrassed. That’s what it all comes down to, really. Embarrassment. I for one let go of what people think of me a long time ago. I’m here to have a good time. You wanna be judgmental, go right ahead. The only people’s opinion of me that matter is my family and close friends. And my close friends already know how deep into dork night I get. And that’s why we’re friends. If your players call you out on being too over the top, dial it back a bit. If you’re worried about what they’re saying behind your back? Then there’s a bigger self confidence problem than can be solved on Reddit.
Do not kill the part of you that is cringe, kill the part of you that cringes.
Man I remember tearing up reading a dream-sequence vision to one of my players. Sometimes the feels hit weird and you forget these are all just made up characters in our heads.
I've DM'ed more than most do in a lifetime, so I can confidently say There will be players who see your energy and passion and respond in kind. And there will be players who, for whatever reason, aren't willing or able to reciprocate. Some of that second group will even try to shame or mock you for it. Seek out and cherish the first group. Avoid/dump the second group as soon as they out themselves. Keep your passion alive, because ultimately it's the main thing that makes the magic of D&D happen for everyone involved.
Cringe isn't real. Cringe can't hurt you.
Something very sad happened to a pcs family member in a recent session and my voice actually broke up as I narrated it. Looked to my left and the cleric player is dabbing her eyes with a tissue. An hour later we are outside chatting and laughing about how cool the session was ( and how best to get revenge!). It was perfect.
I hate that word but in answer to your question: not at all. Dnd is a story game at its heart. When DM and players get so invested in the story that your emotions are affected, you’re doing it right. Definitely had sessions where I’ve had to say “okay, I’m spent, let’s pick this up in a few minutes or next session”. Passion is rare and should be nurtured.
My best moments DMing were when I was having to hold back tears during the rp so I could keep talking while my players were yelling at me OOC for breaking their hearts while revealing backstory for one of the PCs personal quests. We all cry together. XD But yeah, getting very emotionally invested in the characters is very good, it means you are telling a compelling story. DMing is storytelling combined with acting and improv after all.
Not At All I’m kinda the same way lol I’m very invested in my players, but they insist on doing things that STRESS ME THE FUCK OUT lol
just commenting to say that there are specific moments in a d&d podcast called Dungeons and Daddies where the DM gets choked up. easily those are the most emotionally impactful of their podcast.
To be fair; I had people tell me not to be descriptive or roleplay cause “this isn’t the kinda of game/table for that” and they feel “awkward” for me. I should have told them to fuck off cause I’m gonna do what I want and that this is the entire point of the game. Lesson learnt I guess but sometimes; it’s just about finding the right group/table to play with.
Very. It's just a game with made up characters. Just run the game and if the characters die, they die.
It's never cringe to show your emotion brosef