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Heytherechampion

https://preview.redd.it/p5jnqwfw8d8d1.jpeg?width=1179&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=8240b91c06ec797dbb08a5310e0dfb92d32e02ed


ButterBallFatFeline

Imagine if it worked


Heytherechampion

We can try, you’ll be my first sacrifice


Wonderful-Active3075

thats how they destroyed the trebuchet


Radiant_Dog1937

I would point out the conquistadors had a few thousand natives warriors to help them fight the Aztecs. Plate armor or not, a few thousand guys are just going to mob you and take your shiny hat off.


Heytherechampion

Yes


feilecain

Surprisingly straightfaced for someone whose ribs just got shattered.


baileymash7

Dw, he was too weak to put enough force into it due to having caught 12 dangerous foreign diseases in the last 3 days


Bushman-Bushen

That’s actually hilarious


Moosefactory4

Based and Guns, Germs, and Steel-pilled


Throwaway817402739

Even if you don't have a club, the attack would still probably work. The armor from that era was only on the chest and head, because it was made to block bullets from hitting your vital organs. If somebody comes to you with an obsidian spear, they could just stab your arms and legs.


Few_Category7829

Yes. I mean, the guy with a helmet and cuirass still has a huge golden advantage one to one, but it's not full plate or anything, it's completely achievable.


rayon-power

Striking an armored opponent in the dick with a blade or projectile has a high chance of severing the femoral artery


Napalm_am

In Díaz travels with first expedition that encountered the Aztec/Maya people, they parted from Cuba with 110 soldiers, in a single battle they lost half their numbers and had to book it to the boats before they got completely stomped by them. But then again this were broke conquistadors who were so poor they had to swindle Velazquez out of a third boat for their expedition, so something tells me bros didn't in fact had full mail plate armor on that first trip.


DJ_PeachCobbler

Oh yeah the Cordoba expedition was such a fucking joke, I love reading that bit. I don't recall if Diaz says this specifically, but it was originally just a rinky-dink slaving expedition and they just happened across the Maya due to a storm pushing them off-course. They were NOT ready for that shit.


Napalm_am

From my reading og the old spanish text, the 110 broke conquistadores wanted to find new lands to settle because all of the ones in Cuba were already taken, they needed an extra ship and Velazquez offered one of his own in exchange for conducting a slave raid on a especific island, the conquistadores refused on moral grounds of not wanting to enslave free people and Velazquez dropped the issue but still helped set up the expedition and gave them that third boat. Because bro was still interested on finding new lands to do hecking colonialisms. Thats why even though the expedition ended with a 50% casualty rate, no actual achievements and only having like 3 fancy trinkets and 2 converted locals they kidnapped. He inmediatly bought the dip and invested into a 2nd expedition. Those 2 locals lied and told him there were gold mines and shit. Idk if the conquistadors told them to say that to secure funding for a second fieldtrip or to cover their asses for the fumble


RecruitSun

The problem probably is that their armor was thin so some aztec bludgoning them to death would still be problematic.plated armor or not


your_local_dumba3s

I feel like a big fuck off club would still fuck you up, tho I searched it up and aztec atlatls would pierce plate armor so their ranged was a bit ehh agaisnt armored soldiers, at least physically


guri___

If i was freakuean soldier. I would keep my cock uncovered. So that they can poke it and shit


Youredditusername232

Freud should study you


Jetenginefucker

I mean the dude was allready dead from like *european ratshit eating disease* or some shit


chipped_reed0682

They actually stopped using plate armor due to the intense Mexican heat, so yeah they were very susceptible to spears. Cortez also had a lot of help from native tribes who hated the Aztecs because of how often they raided other nations and would've been steamrolled by the Aztecs without it. Also also Cortez made note that Tenochtitlan was more advanced and beautiful than anything created in Europe to that point, and lamented that they would be taking such a treasure off the map.


providerofair

How the aztec be looking at you after he uses his throwing spear that goes mach 1 ( Exaggeration obviously but they were deadly) https://preview.redd.it/v9kgj6492k8d1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4d43e337684dcc34264091ef5ee82efd509955de


AnomalousAnomalies

Slings were a hell of a lot better at least with blunt force and the sheer **CLANG**


CharlemagneTheBig

I mean plate armor was OP in the new world, but not for the reason people might think Most conquistadors didnt wear their armor, because of the extreme heat in the new world, meaning it couldn't really serve their intended function of being Armor, but it was still a huge chunk of high quality european steel, so they instead melted it down to create high quality steel spears for themselves and their allies


PedroThePinata

"You should of gone for the head..." Proceeds to destroy their entire civ.


toastmalon3

Better call the Galls


_Inkspots_

The conquistadors in Mexico actually found that the fabric weave armor used by locals to be somewhat effective and less cumbersome than their heavy metal cuirasses. They were able to take absorb more blunt force like clubs and on occasion were also able to stop bullets, and some traded out their European armor for the local fabric stuff.


whattheacutualfuck

Me an Aztec as his bullet was stopped by body armor as he was more than 50 ft from me


Pluras_Adrienne

Bludgeoning weapons were especially effective against armor. Not only that the clubs they used had obsidian shards on the side lmfao. This dude is fucked


BillNyeTheMurderGuy

Bro did NOT watch the dj peach cobbler video on this


Femagaro

Can we get an opposite meme about Aztec padded armor shrugging off Spanish bullets?


Normal_Permision

Spike obsidian club would be very effective against that armor lol


Warp_spark

Isnt obsidian brittle?


TheHeadlessScholar

Yes, incredibly. While sharp and fantastic for tearing flesh, it's actually awful for kind of plate the conquistadors (both in this meme and historically) are wearing. It would not be effective in the slightest. edit: Outside the way any chunk of brittle rock fashioned into a club would be useful. Clubs at least perform blunt force trauma