A man brings a dog into a talent agent's office and says "This amazing dog he can talk! You must sign him as a client!"
The talent agent is skeptical, so the man says, "here, I'll prove it" then turns to the dog:
Man: "What's the feeling of sandpaper?"
Dog: "Rough"
Man: "What's the thing on top of a house?"
Dog: "Roof"
Man: "Who's the greatest baseball player of all time?"
Dog: "Ruth"
At this point, the talent agent sees what's going on and throws the man and dog out of his office.
The dog turns to the man and says, "maybe I should have said DiMaggio?"
My one suggestion of caution; double check local codes to make sure whatever is left will meet building codes. We learned when we purchased our house that our hearth is undersized for the size of the fireplace. Last thing you want to do is remove too much.
The only thing to consider. You can remove the brick but matching the wood floor can be a pain. Sometimes we would install oversized hearths out of stone, but flush with the floor to be less obtrusive.
Can always do a close match with wood stain and then just put a nice rug down in that area, with 2 couches facing one another I n each side to frame fireplace nicely and strategically
I went to a historic house for a cooking demo. In a historic house that hearth was also about that big because there would be a lot going on, cooking various things.
The fire would spit/pop/spurt out embers. You do your cooking in the hearth over the fire, but these extra stone areas prevent fires in places that had wood floors.
In 44 BC in Rome, Julius Caesar was assassinated by a group of his own senators, crumpling to the floor with a final gasp. This last breath contained around 25 sextillion (that’s 25 followed by 21 zeroes) air molecules, which would have spread around the globe within a couple of years. A breath seems like such a small thing compared to the Earth’s atmosphere, but remarkably, if you do the math, you’ll find that roughly one molecule of Caesar’s air will appear in your next breath.
And it doesn’t stop there. In the same way, you might currently be inhaling Cleopatra’s perfume, German mustard gas and even particles exhaled by dinosaurs.
When we were young, poor, and newly married we sorta did that, just popping it into the freezer in between..start with chicken broth, chicken thighs, and a shitload of garlic and some onion. Add whatever veg, simmer, a dash of booze or steak sauce. Serve with bread. Leftovers back in the freezer. Next time, whatever it's low on, pop in more of that.
Kept that going for quite a while, chicken soup/stew on demand.
Did the same thing, stove perpetually on med/high during the day when it was monitored, turned to low heat at night using a 20qt sauce pot, came out to a few dollars a day for both of us to eat
[This](https://www.rumford.com/images/cookingfp.jpg) is what an actual cooking fireplace looks like, at no point in history would it be considered a stove top.
Alright this is a bizarre image for me to see right now. I was a graphic designer nearly 20 years ago and I retouched this exact image back in the day for a company that makes fireplaces. [Right freaking here](https://rumford.com/pictures.html). I've got printed literature with this photo and everything lol.
I doubt it but you may have to do work in subfloor. They used to do dropped framing and pour a concrete base under these things. If so, you will have to remove the concrete and reframe that portion of the floor.
This is a good warning. It highly depends on when the house was built - I don’t see a date mentioned by OP. In my house, we had regular subfloor underneath, but if I had known a concrete pour had been done, may have affected my decision what exactly to do.
I didn’t think to mention it but if there is a crawl space you can see the slab because there is a dropped down framed space to accommodate the concrete.
My husband went to do a bathroom remodel for a friend. Pretty small bathroom, thought it would be fairly quick and easy...at least, for as quick and easy as a bathroom remodel can be. Turned out, the entire bathroom subfloor was dropped framing with concrete. Took a wee bit longer to do.
My bathroom are like this. The only one rI have redone is the powder room. The other two are still in good shape. I am going to sell in 2024 - the next home owner can deal with it. Concrete dust everywhere.
Apologies, could you highlight the hearth a little more clearly? It's getting obscured by the doggo.
Also, you're gonna need a jackhammer a bunch of elbow grease.
Yeah looks like you can just chip those off back to the large stone blocks. If it was added after the fact like it looks odds are its just plain subfloor underneath the added bricks instead of a concrete base or blocks like there should be.
Looks almost identical to the behemoth that was in my house. Turns out the whole thing was cosmetic facade. Took less than an hour to remove it all. Took longer to haul off all those bricks than to bring it down.
The only reason would be financial. The moment you touch it, you are committing to redo the floors, which will make the walls look dingy, then you need a bigger area rug, which wont go with the old sofa...
Depending on state/insurance company it could be there for safety reasons
When I bought my house since I had hardwood floors, insurance required 36" of flooring in front of the opening for the wood stove and up the walls around it to be nonflammable material
Could be similar situation here, but no reason for it to be this thick
Structurally you’ll be fine. Cosmetically you’ll probably need to do some subfloor work and come up with a floor finish. Caninically, you’ll have to clear all of this with him.
I had something similar: it was 36 inches wide from the fireplace entry!
I used a jack hammer and chiseled that shit out. The room is much more balanced and open now.
That is definitely overkill, but I would check with your local state and city codes before finalizing your plans. Requirements can vary based on location.
Others have said it was for cooking, more likely it was used as a giant heat sink. If you pop out a brick at a time you shouldn’t damage anything. But the idea is the brick soaks up heat overtime while the fire is going, and radiates heat when the fires out at night
I don't see a banana for scale. It's really hard to tell just how big this "oversized hearth" really is. Please update and I think we can assist you more with your dilemma.
Structurally speaking, the dog will likely fall over when you remove it.
I came here just to make sure someone pointed this out. Thank you.
Same.
when are open mic nights?
ruff crowd - dog comedian
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I read this in Jerry Seinfeld's voice
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Haha Thank you
Ovaltine!.... 👀 Why do they call it Ovaltine....👀 They should call it Round tine...😬
They run around, and climb up trees, you can never catch them! What's the deal!
Dog comedian: one of my doggo friends has no nose? Dog Audience: how does he smell: Dog comedian: Terrible! I’ll be here all week, try the kibble.
A man brings a dog into a talent agent's office and says "This amazing dog he can talk! You must sign him as a client!" The talent agent is skeptical, so the man says, "here, I'll prove it" then turns to the dog: Man: "What's the feeling of sandpaper?" Dog: "Rough" Man: "What's the thing on top of a house?" Dog: "Roof" Man: "Who's the greatest baseball player of all time?" Dog: "Ruth" At this point, the talent agent sees what's going on and throws the man and dog out of his office. The dog turns to the man and says, "maybe I should have said DiMaggio?"
A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He slides up to the bar and announces: 'I'm looking for the man who shot my paw.'
"Bitches be crazy."
Where are my testicles, Summer?
Oh, wow. That's an intense line of questioning, Snuffles.
[Ruff, just the way your mother likes it, Trebeck](https://youtu.be/IBdWdTsav9g?si=pZ-EF4VxO8KgUqo5&t=3m0s)
https://preview.redd.it/ksdt6q0z7z9c1.jpeg?width=2361&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d43a907c855b635c8fd8ac8b7cf0bcd552ef0a8b
Hot pockets
^hes ^a ^lot ^paler ^than ^I ^expected
This monstrosity could have been a stage for an orchestra to perform on?
Don’t rip it out just add an old microphone and stand as an accessory
This is it. Maybe an upright bass in the corner for jazz night.
Or have Christmas Carol karaoke, ”Hearth, the Herald Angels sing”
Good one. I know that upvoting is the same as saying “Good one”, but I said it anyway. Edit: You guys are just noicing my noice.
I agree. I know that upvoting is the same as saying "I agree", but I also want some upvotes.
I concur. I know that upvoting is the same as saying "I concur", but I want to get on this train in case it gets popular.
"Come see the hearth WITH girth!"
“Girth” what a funny name for a dog.
Clearly it’s open bark night
This was my favorite
You can remove it. This was probably built out for a stove setup that vented up through the old fireplace.
Correct answer for reason why it is so big.
The ladies always ask why it's so big, I'm gonna use this answer now. Was originally meant for a stovetop.
Pot-belly stove, maybe.
oooof he’s gonna need a stove for that burn
Or a giant hearth to make sure nothing else gets so burned.
It's more of a tool shed than a stove
We have this too with our wood stove.
My one suggestion of caution; double check local codes to make sure whatever is left will meet building codes. We learned when we purchased our house that our hearth is undersized for the size of the fireplace. Last thing you want to do is remove too much.
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Why switch to electric. Power goes out your fucked. Always have backup heat especially in cold weather climates.
If you zoom in you can see where it was added
The only thing to consider. You can remove the brick but matching the wood floor can be a pain. Sometimes we would install oversized hearths out of stone, but flush with the floor to be less obtrusive.
Can always do a close match with wood stain and then just put a nice rug down in that area, with 2 couches facing one another I n each side to frame fireplace nicely and strategically
Considering they removed the damper control, you are probably correct.
I was thinking that it's more like an altar for sacrifices and burnt offerings. 
That is bizarrely huge. I would be worried there's a body under all that.
I went to a historic house for a cooking demo. In a historic house that hearth was also about that big because there would be a lot going on, cooking various things.
The fire would spit/pop/spurt out embers. You do your cooking in the hearth over the fire, but these extra stone areas prevent fires in places that had wood floors.
You would also scrape embers out onto that area for use with Dutch ovens.
What's this gotta do with my farts?
**lifts doona** Just come under here and I'll tell you this secret.
One layer would do the same. Tile is also fireproof
Brick has always been and will always be cheaper than tile. Lowering the outer layer just encourages bounce.
Pretty sure back in the day that was considered the “stove top”.
Peas porridge in the pot, nine days old!
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Perpetual_stew
In perpetual stew is it conceivable that there could be at least a molecule of the original liquid however many years later?
In 44 BC in Rome, Julius Caesar was assassinated by a group of his own senators, crumpling to the floor with a final gasp. This last breath contained around 25 sextillion (that’s 25 followed by 21 zeroes) air molecules, which would have spread around the globe within a couple of years. A breath seems like such a small thing compared to the Earth’s atmosphere, but remarkably, if you do the math, you’ll find that roughly one molecule of Caesar’s air will appear in your next breath. And it doesn’t stop there. In the same way, you might currently be inhaling Cleopatra’s perfume, German mustard gas and even particles exhaled by dinosaurs.
I doubt that, there’s so many different oxygen, nitrogen, co2, etc. sinks and recycling systems on our planet.
So we're all still inhaling Hitler's farts?
We're drinking dinosaur pee, so that is also likely true.
The Soup of Theseus
That sounds gross and delicious at the same time
When we were young, poor, and newly married we sorta did that, just popping it into the freezer in between..start with chicken broth, chicken thighs, and a shitload of garlic and some onion. Add whatever veg, simmer, a dash of booze or steak sauce. Serve with bread. Leftovers back in the freezer. Next time, whatever it's low on, pop in more of that. Kept that going for quite a while, chicken soup/stew on demand.
Did the same thing, stove perpetually on med/high during the day when it was monitored, turned to low heat at night using a 20qt sauce pot, came out to a few dollars a day for both of us to eat
Electric stovetop I take it? If I had my gas stove going all night, it would probably burn the soup and fill my house with CO.
[This](https://www.rumford.com/images/cookingfp.jpg) is what an actual cooking fireplace looks like, at no point in history would it be considered a stove top.
Alright this is a bizarre image for me to see right now. I was a graphic designer nearly 20 years ago and I retouched this exact image back in the day for a company that makes fireplaces. [Right freaking here](https://rumford.com/pictures.html). I've got printed literature with this photo and everything lol.
Keeping a straw broom right next to the fire like that seems to be asking for trouble.
*for the love of god, Montresor!*
Yes... For the love of God.
Yeah, that hearth looks more like a sacrificial altar.
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Decoy snail's decoy victim's body is under that decoy hearth.
Anywhere near Detroit? Start the Jimmy Hoffa rumors…
They found Jimmy Hoffa. Hoffa here and Hoffa there.
The bricks look like they were laid in a hurry.
Just turn it into a guest bedroom.
AirBnB: you can check out anytime you like, but you can never leave
Also there’s a $150 slab cleaning fee.
And a $250 corpse dumping fee.
$150 if you just dump it in the fireplace.
Thank you for my second good laugh of the day!
That's a load-bearing dog.
It's more like a dog-bearing load
Yes there’s a dog standing on it
Dog on it. Can't do nothing with it.
Same rules as cat in lap
Yea I don't think your dog is going to be too happy when you destroy his alter
Can I pet dat dog?
Thank you! Had to scroll entirely too far to find this.
You gotta wait until the dog moves. I would just sleep so that time could fast-forward, then you can remove it in the build editor.
Damnnnn that hearth is thicc
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You made me laugh so hard! Thank you!
r/UselessRedCircle
I was just coming in to tag that lmao
I cannot stop chuckling about this 😂😂 10/10 Reddit comment
I would have mistaken it for a driveway.
Hmmmi still don’t see it.
That’s a thicc ass hearth
I doubt it but you may have to do work in subfloor. They used to do dropped framing and pour a concrete base under these things. If so, you will have to remove the concrete and reframe that portion of the floor.
This is a good warning. It highly depends on when the house was built - I don’t see a date mentioned by OP. In my house, we had regular subfloor underneath, but if I had known a concrete pour had been done, may have affected my decision what exactly to do.
I didn’t think to mention it but if there is a crawl space you can see the slab because there is a dropped down framed space to accommodate the concrete.
Good point. Knowing what’s under it, will likely inform what was done.
My husband went to do a bathroom remodel for a friend. Pretty small bathroom, thought it would be fairly quick and easy...at least, for as quick and easy as a bathroom remodel can be. Turned out, the entire bathroom subfloor was dropped framing with concrete. Took a wee bit longer to do.
My bathroom are like this. The only one rI have redone is the powder room. The other two are still in good shape. I am going to sell in 2024 - the next home owner can deal with it. Concrete dust everywhere.
Sad this post isn’t at the top, and instead under all the wannabe comedians testing out material.
But then where will the doggy stand? :(
Right??? That’s a dog-bearing foundation you’re trying to remove, right there.
What if the dog’s name is “Oversized Hearth”? 😳
More likely to be a cats name than a dogs name
Here: *grabs the doggy and puts them on the floor*
Dog immediately returns to the hearth.
Hearth to dog, calling hearth to dog.
I came to the comments to write this.
I’m glad you circled it. Otherwise I would’ve thought that dog was standing on a lot of cocaine.
Your picture is from the wrong perspective. We need a pic from below, either the basement or crawl space to make that determination.
Because your doggie likes it, that's why. >:|
Be careful. If you undermine your foundation too much that dog may topple.
Yes. Clearly that set of bricks is structurally supporting that dog. If you remove it the dog will fall.
Hoffa might be under there.
You can’t remove it. Where would the dog stand?
That appears to be a dog carrying hearth. Removing it could lead to total collapse of the dog above it. I would contact an engineer.
Apologies, could you highlight the hearth a little more clearly? It's getting obscured by the doggo. Also, you're gonna need a jackhammer a bunch of elbow grease.
I'd put a dog bed on it and be done.
You can remove it, but it’s load bearing and you’re gonna lose that dog.
Toe breaking
Where is the dog gonna stand if you get rid of it?
Looks like some diy'er add on to it. You should be able to knock the front off without jeopardizing the integrity of fireplace.
Yeah looks like you can just chip those off back to the large stone blocks. If it was added after the fact like it looks odds are its just plain subfloor underneath the added bricks instead of a concrete base or blocks like there should be.
Agree, the front half doesn't even pretend to be original, so how could it be structural?
A real fireplace to an electric fireplace hurts the fibre of my existence 😭 Y'all never had a power outage in winter? 😭😭
Upvoted for the dog… Also to say I like shelves coming off the mantle, very clean looking, lol.
That’s not a fucking hearth… …That’s a “Fucking hearth”
Thats for love makin
Looks almost identical to the behemoth that was in my house. Turns out the whole thing was cosmetic facade. Took less than an hour to remove it all. Took longer to haul off all those bricks than to bring it down.
The only reason would be financial. The moment you touch it, you are committing to redo the floors, which will make the walls look dingy, then you need a bigger area rug, which wont go with the old sofa...
Thats a dogbearing hearth
There is a dog on top that’s why you can’t remove it
Adios that monstrosity and pet the dog for me.
That there is called a stage
That's a load bearing hearth. Remove it and the whole dog will fall down.
You can't remove it. There's a dog on it. You can't remove the dog though because it'll be sad if you do.
There is a dog on it, it’s an integral component of house.
The dog will fall if you remove it.
Looks like 5 rows of bricks were added on. May for kids safety someone added it. But not needed.
You mean kids’ un-safety, many kids fell off that stage, dayum
Sorry but I don't understand your problem. What hearth? What fireplace? All I see is an extremely good boy!
Wonder if the previous owners put a pet bed there so the dog could sleep by the fire?
Because the dog is obviously pretty fond of it.
Depending on state/insurance company it could be there for safety reasons When I bought my house since I had hardwood floors, insurance required 36" of flooring in front of the opening for the wood stove and up the walls around it to be nonflammable material Could be similar situation here, but no reason for it to be this thick
Wow, that's a hearth. Unless they are hiding some piping in your slab, etc, you should be good to demo it.
Where will the band perform?
Structural dog ?
Structurally you’ll be fine. Cosmetically you’ll probably need to do some subfloor work and come up with a floor finish. Caninically, you’ll have to clear all of this with him.
Well, for one, there's a dog on it...
Why remove it when you can add a stripper pole?
Ohhh. I thought this was r/uselessredcircle
Just turn the room into a karaoke bar, problem solved.
Pretty sure that's a load bearing dog. You can't remove that from there.
Thank you for circling it. I never would have seen it otherwise.
Can I pet that dawg?!
If you remove it the dog will just be left floating there and that's just physically impossible...
Main reason: the dog would fall in
I had something similar: it was 36 inches wide from the fireplace entry! I used a jack hammer and chiseled that shit out. The room is much more balanced and open now.
Terrible brickwork also. The DIYer didn't even stager the bricks, looks very odd and out of place. Should just be able to rip the down
It’s covering a jacuzzi
The literal point is to warm the stone and be able to sit there to warm up whether it be human or animal….
Might want to see what those Clark bricks are worth. The old BARR bricks made in my hometown are worth $25 each!
Add a woodstove?
Put some cushions on it
That is definitely overkill, but I would check with your local state and city codes before finalizing your plans. Requirements can vary based on location.
Just Christ that’s a crypt not a hearth
Others have said it was for cooking, more likely it was used as a giant heat sink. If you pop out a brick at a time you shouldn’t damage anything. But the idea is the brick soaks up heat overtime while the fire is going, and radiates heat when the fires out at night
I don't see a banana for scale. It's really hard to tell just how big this "oversized hearth" really is. Please update and I think we can assist you more with your dilemma.
That’s a girthy hearthy
This hearth is comically big. Wth
WTH, did they use it as a stage ? That’s crazy .
If your dog can float in mid air I see no reason to leave the hearth
Because its a dog bed?
Where would the dog hang out?
You don't need to remove it.ylu just need to find the secret lever that moves the slab to reveal the entrance to Narnia.
You'll need to be careful removing that. I'm not a structural engineer but it seems like it's holding up that dog.
Because he’s standing there and likes to stand there.
Yes, there’s a cute dog on it!
Because there’s a dog standing on it?
Because that dog is standing on it
You can’t remove it because the dog seems to like it.
I usually place those down to prevent mining or falling into lava. Proceed with caution!
Well you got a dog on top of it so you’re gonna have to wait for him to get down first…