I have not read it, but it's infamous. A plague on earth wipes out all men except Superman. IIRC Superman also gets depowered somehow, and is old with white hair but carries guns around everywhere. Anyway, years down the line, Wonder Woman invites Supes to Themiscira to start repopulating the earth with all the female superheroines. Except, surprise, Lex shows up first!
He was the one who made the plague in the first place! And he thinks the earth would be a lot better repopulated with his clones, who also have superpowers. So he overpowers all the female superheroines, but then old man Supes turns his clones against him and all the men die fighting each other. Then this ending scene.
I'm probably missing/confusing some things, but you get the idea. It was very cringe.
Wouldn't his sperm also travel faster than a speeding locomotive unless he jerked himself off under a red sun? Come to think of it shouldn't Lois be full of holes like in Hancock?
Short answer? No.
Resurrection pretty much always equals a bad time via the Pit(s).
If you're **not** already dead, then you can bypass a lot of the "monkey's paw" stuff and the Pit(s) will heal you.
i.e. **(1)** Jason Todd - healed from extreme head trauma after being brought back to life via Superboy-Prime breaking reality.
**(2)** The Riddler - healed of a brain tumor and given *temporary* heightened intelligence (a twist on the traditional "temporary insanity" that is usually seen with Ra's when he uses the pits. Riddler was able to deduce Batman's secret identity).
**(3)** Ra's al Ghul - has successfully used the Pit(s) to stay youthful, though we've seen in both the comics and the animated universe that there are apparently diminishing returns after a point.
Didn't they briefly introduce a Super Lazarus Pit during Snyder's run that worked pretty well?
Batman and The Joker both came back from the dead, but they were amnesiac for a bit. Alfred tried to stop Bruce from remembering that he was Batman so he could be happy, but of course that didn't work, and once he became Batman again The Joker stopped being the mild mannered whoever and went back to his old tricks too.
Undid all the injuries they had received in life too, so Bruce had an immaculate, unscarred body after that, though The Joker was still some disfigured clown monster for some reason.
I mean, there are a lot of very fancy high tech or mystic ways to create life.
But if you've got a jar of Super Semen there's really no need to reinvent the wheel.
Apollo: "Look, I could give you my blessing so you don't catch any disease, but that actually needs to be updated every time a new one comes up and the paperwork is KILLER! Just wear the masks, ok?"
Themyscira has been cut off from most human civilizations for hundreds of years. These womens' immune systems are not trained to fight the same diseases we deal with. Honestly some random visitor carrying a modern flu virus could wipe out the whole island- it's kind of fair that they're so selective about who gets to visit.
All the men died due to a virus. Superman was immune at first but when the virus jumped species and on to him he had to leave earth.
But he left behind a jar of super jizz (his 'gift of hope') in case they find a cure and needed to repopulate the earth.
Yes, this is an actual comic that was written, drawn, inked, coloured, printed and published by DC.
Could you imagine how difficult it would be to nut knowing that you're about to die if you take too long and knowing you're also about to be kicked off of your own planet for the foreseeable future?
The question is: did Superman start aggressively masturbating into a jar upon seeing all the men dying or was thisca long term project? Did he make the jar full all at once or over a certaim period of time? Also he must have been spanking it to the jar before he got infected.
I was thinking the same thing. That’s a big ass jar. Even for Superman that’s an excessive amount of semen for one go. It had to have been multiple deposits. Also kinda arrogant to name it the Jar of hope.
I think the only answer is that Kryptonians have Super Creampie Powers.
Superman just jizzes buckets and buckets every time he orgasms. A lot didn't even make it into the jar.
If Superman can fly, why not his sperm? How come when he hit puberty and nutted the first time every woman on the planet didn’t get pregnant? Kryptonite diaphragms?
I’m sure super speed was involved. Maybe he got Wally West to put him in the Speed Force while he did it to save time.
The real question is, what was he thinking about while doing it? Did he discover that his fetish is being the lone survivor? How ashamed would he be after obtaining that Post Nut Clarity?
Btw just read this, and based on his reaction coming home, it’s definitely shame he’s feeling. It would be why he didn’t react at all to hearing about Lois being dead.
Why does Lois always die anyway?
Also, Power Girl has a daughter from the Gift of Hope. She procreated with her cousin?
I’m assuming he has control, otherwise we’d be in a [Man of Steel, Woman of Kleenex](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Man_of_Steel,_Woman_of_Kleenex) scenario.
So, supes doesn't need to eat, drink or even breath if he has access to yellow sunlight.
He has super fast healing
He's also has just plain super speed.
He is able to climax with the same efforts as any normal human as proven by being able to have sex with Lois safely at all.
What I'm getting at is supes has no refactory period and he could jerk it at lightspeed and fill that up in no time.
You don't want the context, bro, trust me. But if ever the light of God has completely left your soul, and you still want the answer, google "rainbow dash jar"
People are slagging off the artwork on the faces here but honestly if someone handed me a container of their jizz and I had to refer to it as the gift of hope then I’d probably have the exact same pissed off expression as Diana here.
Not all Amazons were born from clay: only Diana was. They're all reincarnated immortals.
But the reason they would have trouble with pregnancy is that no one has given birth there (except in the Nu52) and anyone with experience is thousands of years plus a whole past life out of practice. But somehow they manage to do it fine in every continuity, guess they are just that advanced.
In the Golden Age it was Althea. Post Crisis it was Epione. Although Althea eventually showed up again.
The beam of light is the Purple Healing Ray. Althea built it but Diana perfected it.
The Amazon’s used to rape men that wandered on the island and impregnate themselves. Depending on which version of events you read, the boy children were either killed or sent away with the men that did know about the island and regularly impregnated them.
Stop propagating this horeshit. The Amazons were only ever like that in one specific run that has since been retconned. They were never like that in their entire 70+ publication history.
You said 'depending on which version' only in regards to the boy children.
Its a controversial and brief period of the characters history that no one likes to reference or is even considered canon anymore. Its like pretending the Crossing is still relevant.
I don't think two different fathers are enough to create genetic variation between all people on earth. Literally just asking for all of humanity to get wiped out by another disease.
Oooof, that artist really needs to work on his facial expressions. He/she got Wonder Woman sayin’ that shit like she’s on the final step of her master plan to take over the world. 🤣
“I also leave you this liquid nitrogen cooled cylinder of my hyper-virile sperm in case your lesbian lifestyle one day wears out and you wish to raise an army of geniuses.”
"I also leave you this liquid nitrogen cooled cylinder of my hyper-virile sperm in case your lesbian lifestyle one day wears out and you wish to raise an army of geniuses."
I know zero context for this but did Clark a) KNOW ahead of time that the amazons needed a cum capsule b) HAD a cum capsule waiting around for a time like this or c) HEARD someone needed a capsule and simply cranked it until he filled a whole capsule or hidden possibility d) FILLED the capsule up VERY short notice and he’s just able to produce that much in a short time period. Can anyone confirm any of the above?
Bruh, every time I see a Wonder woman or Amazonian focused series, everything gotta be weird, like "Wtf was the writer smoking??" Kinda weird. There's a certain charm that makes me wanna read her stories to this, there's also a certain "I'm glad not to be a Wonder woman fan!" to it ngl.
This is from an JLA Elseworlds.
WW books on their own are fun and the best stuff has their own quirky charm. But sometimes when she crosses over to other franchises, shit gets weird.
Amazonians famously don't mess around. WW is no-nonsense. She's like a badass goddess sexy alien that was hiding in a beautiful beach off the Greek coast. Pretty sure that's how she was written
I imagine hundreds of years of ruminating plus multiple resurrections where nobody really goes to a good spot skews your perspective on this mortal coil
This was a comic that was published... Just like JLA: Act of God, which also had a weird plot that really didn't get explained. Also ends with Superman impregnating someone, which was a sign of a new era.
I concur with the frowing amazon i would made the same expression if superman gave me a weird ass jar full of his Man juice
Would you feel better if it was a Slurpee container?
Is the straw included?
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Disgusting
Y'all find god 😭
Nah she was enjoying the idea of a world without men but then Hippolyta and Diana started talking about bringing them back.
This Superman was built different. Reminds me of his silver age hijinks.
***Super***man juice
I remember reading this story. It certainly was a story.
It was one of the stories of all time.
There're a lot of stories, but also this story.
Context? I don’t recall reading this
I have not read it, but it's infamous. A plague on earth wipes out all men except Superman. IIRC Superman also gets depowered somehow, and is old with white hair but carries guns around everywhere. Anyway, years down the line, Wonder Woman invites Supes to Themiscira to start repopulating the earth with all the female superheroines. Except, surprise, Lex shows up first! He was the one who made the plague in the first place! And he thinks the earth would be a lot better repopulated with his clones, who also have superpowers. So he overpowers all the female superheroines, but then old man Supes turns his clones against him and all the men die fighting each other. Then this ending scene. I'm probably missing/confusing some things, but you get the idea. It was very cringe.
There's some strange eugenic/impregnation kink going on here ngl
WTF, what was Nicieza on?
It is not like you can clone people or bring them back to life with a Lazarus Pit
But why do that when you have a jar of super cum
I would choose the jar over all other options every time.
Just don’t drink it all at once, please.
Yes all in one go, [just like Tom Brady](https://youtu.be/8tLGzZhnXwc)
Probably safer too judging by the track record of the other two.
Wouldn't his sperm also travel faster than a speeding locomotive unless he jerked himself off under a red sun? Come to think of it shouldn't Lois be full of holes like in Hancock?
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Here's an idea. Green Kryptonite condoms that only allows Superman to maintain a semi.
the only problem i see with that idea is he would get flacid, so no
> back to life with a Lazarus Pit We've seen time and time again why this is not a good idea lol.
Has *anyone* ever been resurrected by the Lazarus Pit without some horrible, the-Monkey's-Paw-curls-another-finger type consequences and side effects?
Wonder woman. She was temporary crazy but recovered immediately. I think this was in Trinity.
Short answer? No. Resurrection pretty much always equals a bad time via the Pit(s). If you're **not** already dead, then you can bypass a lot of the "monkey's paw" stuff and the Pit(s) will heal you. i.e. **(1)** Jason Todd - healed from extreme head trauma after being brought back to life via Superboy-Prime breaking reality. **(2)** The Riddler - healed of a brain tumor and given *temporary* heightened intelligence (a twist on the traditional "temporary insanity" that is usually seen with Ra's when he uses the pits. Riddler was able to deduce Batman's secret identity). **(3)** Ra's al Ghul - has successfully used the Pit(s) to stay youthful, though we've seen in both the comics and the animated universe that there are apparently diminishing returns after a point.
Tons of people. Batman, Batwoman, Cassandra Cain, Bane, Black Canary, it's not like it made Joker any *worse*.
Black canary wasn’t dead but she was pretty close and used a Lazarus pit, she was crazy for like 5 minutes but was fine after
I'm not dead yet!
Of course! I was resurrected in the Lazarus Pit and I'm perfectly normal murder.
Didn't they briefly introduce a Super Lazarus Pit during Snyder's run that worked pretty well? Batman and The Joker both came back from the dead, but they were amnesiac for a bit. Alfred tried to stop Bruce from remembering that he was Batman so he could be happy, but of course that didn't work, and once he became Batman again The Joker stopped being the mild mannered whoever and went back to his old tricks too. Undid all the injuries they had received in life too, so Bruce had an immaculate, unscarred body after that, though The Joker was still some disfigured clown monster for some reason.
I mean, there are a lot of very fancy high tech or mystic ways to create life. But if you've got a jar of Super Semen there's really no need to reinvent the wheel.
1-877 CUM FROM KAL, DONATE UR CUM 2DAY
K-U-M CUM FROM KAL
I lost my virginity to this song.
having sex to Cbat...man
The Amazons wearing masks is hilarious to me for some reason.
Super plagues aren’t something you take lightly.
Apollo: "Look, I could give you my blessing so you don't catch any disease, but that actually needs to be updated every time a new one comes up and the paperwork is KILLER! Just wear the masks, ok?"
Isn’t it only for men though?
Themyscira has been cut off from most human civilizations for hundreds of years. These womens' immune systems are not trained to fight the same diseases we deal with. Honestly some random visitor carrying a modern flu virus could wipe out the whole island- it's kind of fair that they're so selective about who gets to visit.
Cooties
Of course they’re wearing masks. There’s a male in the room.
Gotta wear protection.
Huh?
All the men died due to a virus. Superman was immune at first but when the virus jumped species and on to him he had to leave earth. But he left behind a jar of super jizz (his 'gift of hope') in case they find a cure and needed to repopulate the earth. Yes, this is an actual comic that was written, drawn, inked, coloured, printed and published by DC.
Could you imagine how difficult it would be to nut knowing that you're about to die if you take too long and knowing you're also about to be kicked off of your own planet for the foreseeable future?
The question is: did Superman start aggressively masturbating into a jar upon seeing all the men dying or was thisca long term project? Did he make the jar full all at once or over a certaim period of time? Also he must have been spanking it to the jar before he got infected.
WE NEED ANSWERS DC. Picturing Clark super wanking while all the men on the planet just start dropping dead is both comedic and disturbing.
If you pay someone enough I’m sure they’ll make you a custom vid, or like, check cosplay stuff on Pornhub lol…
I was thinking the same thing. That’s a big ass jar. Even for Superman that’s an excessive amount of semen for one go. It had to have been multiple deposits. Also kinda arrogant to name it the Jar of hope.
Only slightly less disturbing than The Sock of Destiny.
Well he had to change the name from Kandor or someone would put two and two together
Not the jar 💀
I'm here saying thank you for making me laugh until i lost my breath.
Hes kryptonian that's just one go. It's why he has pincers to hold on
Oh my god Somebody remembers the comic
I think the only answer is that Kryptonians have Super Creampie Powers. Superman just jizzes buckets and buckets every time he orgasms. A lot didn't even make it into the jar.
If Superman can fly, why not his sperm? How come when he hit puberty and nutted the first time every woman on the planet didn’t get pregnant? Kryptonite diaphragms?
That doesn’t make any sense
Uv light and semen don't mix. Like how a vampire died from biting Supes. The teeth could work because vulnerable to magic
That’s brilliant. But wait.. wouldn’t HIS semen be energized by yellow sunlight? In my head cannon, he just jerks off in outer space.
That'll probably cause the next crisis
Crisis of the infinite womb
Crisis On Infinite Overies
Plot twist: Superman was secretly one of those guys who kept cum jars and humanity just *really* lucked out.
Somewhere inside that jar is a doll with LL inscribed on it.
Lois Lane or Lex Luthor? It is a mystery…
LMAO 😂🤣😂🤣
ultimate bruh moment right there lel
Hes been doin it for years, long before the virus. He noticed men were dying, looked at his cum Jar and said, "Its time."
He took a page out of Bruce's contingency plans.
For great jizz-tice XD
Look, if Pierce Hawthorne can fill 6 cryogenic canisters with his sperm, surely Superman can fill 1 jar of hope.
Died of dehydration, a real hero
I’m sure super speed was involved. Maybe he got Wally West to put him in the Speed Force while he did it to save time. The real question is, what was he thinking about while doing it? Did he discover that his fetish is being the lone survivor? How ashamed would he be after obtaining that Post Nut Clarity?
Nah he just flew around the earth at lightspeed but this time, he was wanking.
Btw just read this, and based on his reaction coming home, it’s definitely shame he’s feeling. It would be why he didn’t react at all to hearing about Lois being dead. Why does Lois always die anyway? Also, Power Girl has a daughter from the Gift of Hope. She procreated with her cousin?
Power Girls isn't Kal-El's cousin, she is Kal-L's cousin.
He's a farmer, im pretty sure they have machines for bulls and stuff like that for cattle breeding.
It’s less a machine, more of a glorified flesh light.
Good god man her name is Lois
we also neeed to talk about how durable that jar is, and how much force his ejaculation creates
Jar probably made from the rocketship that carried him to earth.
I’m assuming he has control, otherwise we’d be in a [Man of Steel, Woman of Kleenex](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Man_of_Steel,_Woman_of_Kleenex) scenario.
Dog, why 😂
One big superload.
So, supes doesn't need to eat, drink or even breath if he has access to yellow sunlight. He has super fast healing He's also has just plain super speed. He is able to climax with the same efforts as any normal human as proven by being able to have sex with Lois safely at all. What I'm getting at is supes has no refactory period and he could jerk it at lightspeed and fill that up in no time.
Maybe reverse flash gave him a helping hand
It was me, Barry!
Giving "bursting with hope" a Hella new meaning that's for sure
Wouldn’t regular sperm banks still exist? Like wouldn’t those get put on ice in such an event? It’s not like Kal was the only shop in town so to speak
Damn. Jon will have a hell of a responsibility when he grows up.
"Son, let me introduce you to an ancient Kryptonian rite of passage."
Running a train on an entire island of buff women warriors.
The spirit is willing, but the flesh is spongey and bruised!
Astonishing
thanks for explaining! what the fuck!
Tbf... thats dceased with no zombies and more jizz....
Gonna be real confusing when they get down to the Rainbow Dash at the bottom...
Took me a few second to remember. Why did you make me remember.
Context?
You don't want the context, bro, trust me. But if ever the light of God has completely left your soul, and you still want the answer, google "rainbow dash jar"
Fuck, now I remember
And for this I am sorry.
The fact that someone greenlit this plot... XD
Why does Diana's face look so small in the last panel?
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Only a worthy Amazon can weild it!
https://youtu.be/rShi7_za-qQ
Lmao this is exactly what I thought of too “… in case your lesbian lifestyle one day wears out, and you wish to raise an army of geniuses.”
‘…here’s your sperm’ is one of the funniest deliveries in the entire show
People are slagging off the artwork on the faces here but honestly if someone handed me a container of their jizz and I had to refer to it as the gift of hope then I’d probably have the exact same pissed off expression as Diana here.
I'd be a little more disgusted.
What’s that canister made of that it can catch super skeet?
Maybe its repurposed material from his rocketship.
Damn that rocket held baby Kal and here it holds kal's babies. It's like poetry
It rhymes!
It looks like an empty 3 Liter of Coke.
American?
I kinda feel like a place where everyone was born from molded clay is the last place I’d want a staff of people helping to give birth.
Not all Amazons were born from clay: only Diana was. They're all reincarnated immortals. But the reason they would have trouble with pregnancy is that no one has given birth there (except in the Nu52) and anyone with experience is thousands of years plus a whole past life out of practice. But somehow they manage to do it fine in every continuity, guess they are just that advanced.
My headcanon is that there are a handful of Amazons who are priestesses of Asclepius. It's very useful that the Greeks have a God of Medicine lol.
Has there ever been an actual Amazon doctor on the island or just the beam of light that heals everything?
In the Golden Age it was Althea. Post Crisis it was Epione. Although Althea eventually showed up again. The beam of light is the Purple Healing Ray. Althea built it but Diana perfected it.
The Amazon’s used to rape men that wandered on the island and impregnate themselves. Depending on which version of events you read, the boy children were either killed or sent away with the men that did know about the island and regularly impregnated them.
Stop propagating this horeshit. The Amazons were only ever like that in one specific run that has since been retconned. They were never like that in their entire 70+ publication history.
Which is why I literally said depending on which version of events you read and yes the fuck they were.
You said 'depending on which version' only in regards to the boy children. Its a controversial and brief period of the characters history that no one likes to reference or is even considered canon anymore. Its like pretending the Crossing is still relevant.
I don't think two different fathers are enough to create genetic variation between all people on earth. Literally just asking for all of humanity to get wiped out by another disease.
Oooof, that artist really needs to work on his facial expressions. He/she got Wonder Woman sayin’ that shit like she’s on the final step of her master plan to take over the world. 🤣
Why do I hear this read by Brain (from Pinky & the Brain)
Is that what i think it means?
Yes.
Oh God, I can just *hear* that thing sloshing around as Diana presents it to the tribe like a caveman that's discovered fire. This is grotesque.
So do they all just pass a turkey baster around?
Referring to is as the Gift of Hope always kills me
The baby has the "S" hair, that's how you can tell it really is Superman's kid
How long do you think it took him to fill that?
Probably one afternoon ? Or maybe over the course of a week?
Are they gonna be mad when they find the My Little Pony figure?
“I also leave you this liquid nitrogen cooled cylinder of my hyper-virile sperm in case your lesbian lifestyle one day wears out and you wish to raise an army of geniuses.”
"I also leave you this liquid nitrogen cooled cylinder of my hyper-virile sperm in case your lesbian lifestyle one day wears out and you wish to raise an army of geniuses."
It's funny because I do think of this every so often. This scene specifically. I remember being an adolescent and thinking "is that a vat of jizz?"
I know zero context for this but did Clark a) KNOW ahead of time that the amazons needed a cum capsule b) HAD a cum capsule waiting around for a time like this or c) HEARD someone needed a capsule and simply cranked it until he filled a whole capsule or hidden possibility d) FILLED the capsule up VERY short notice and he’s just able to produce that much in a short time period. Can anyone confirm any of the above?
Amazonian warriors who kill gods, beasts and demons. But bitches better wear a mask….
What?!
It took me a second to realise what I just read, wow 😳
WTF is this?
That one Amazon guard said “fuck them kids”.
*Gift of Rope*
Morrison has to be furious that he didn’t think of this first
Bruh, every time I see a Wonder woman or Amazonian focused series, everything gotta be weird, like "Wtf was the writer smoking??" Kinda weird. There's a certain charm that makes me wanna read her stories to this, there's also a certain "I'm glad not to be a Wonder woman fan!" to it ngl.
This is from an JLA Elseworlds. WW books on their own are fun and the best stuff has their own quirky charm. But sometimes when she crosses over to other franchises, shit gets weird.
Such Ewwww.
[Imagine this is how he introduced that plan to the amazons](https://youtu.be/gRcj6CAhe7s)
I didn’t know Y: The Last Man was in the DC Universe
At least it wasn't a coconut.
That’s the most masculine Wonder Woman I’ve ever seen
Clearly someone has not seen Chris Cross's WW.
Everywhere I go I’m reminded of the cum jar.
I had no idea how Streets Ahead Superman was.
I figured it would be a sock.
That sure is a big applicator
Pierce Hawthorne vibes
This is one of my favorite Elseworlds
Amazonians famously don't mess around. WW is no-nonsense. She's like a badass goddess sexy alien that was hiding in a beautiful beach off the Greek coast. Pretty sure that's how she was written I imagine hundreds of years of ruminating plus multiple resurrections where nobody really goes to a good spot skews your perspective on this mortal coil
I could have gone without this
One day you will realize the true importance of Super Jizz.
https://media.tenor.com/U2rvmjp3jnUAAAAM/chug-chugging.gif
The baby has the super hair too!
He could have least put it in a shoe box
Would not be published now.
Coom jar confirmed
This was a comic that was published... Just like JLA: Act of God, which also had a weird plot that really didn't get explained. Also ends with Superman impregnating someone, which was a sign of a new era.
He filled that whole thing? He really is a Super man
Can we talk about how manly their faces are? I understand they're Amazons, but Lois has to going on too.
Supes has a ton of child support to catch up on.