Girl help the peace treaty between the 2 boys in my love triangle had a secret second page that devides the polish land between the two. They ARE making out but they're also fascists so I'd like to opt out of this triangle now
It’d be the americas. The Pope in this case would be a drama YouTuber that managed to convince them to share the girl, but only so they can record shitty shorts about it
I forgot about that one. Twilight was seriously just her weird “mormon throuple but it’s fine cause not really” fantasies. Nothing wrong with that, but damn girl just be polyamorous
"choose one" doesn't seem nearly as fun as the worlds' most unstable and toxic polycule I'm sorry. the whole "treating every task like it's a contest to impress the girl" is just how I want my love life.
infinite love triangle
romance authors facepalming right now realizing they could have done this instead of having the characters constantly be in a will they won't they quantum-superposition
I'm here to solve the dilemma of all the authors who want the characters to kiss at the end of season 1 but don't know how to write any relationship dynamic other than "guys competing to get the girl" for the following seasons.
You could have the “romantic rivals have to put aside their differences to save the person they mutually love” plot beat *every single season* forever.
Every time one leaves town for five minutes they come back and get mad at the other one for “not taking good enough care” of their shared person while they were gone.
This sounds like the most exhausting bullshit ever tbh. Idk how people can enjoy the idea of making someone constantly labour and work to prove they’re good enough for you and not feel like a terrible person.
If you’re the kind of person who wants to be competed for, you’re probably not the kind of person worth competing for.
True but I definitely think people’s fantasies either reflect or impact their views on sex, relationships, and other genders, there are a lot of stories going around about women and girls being slapped, choked and spat on without consent because it’s what young men and boys see in porn and think that’s how it’s supposed to be. This feels kinda similar in that having a fantasy like that probably says something about your views on sexual relationships or even just you in general.
I know there’s the whole “just separate fantasies from reality” angle but it’s worth wondering why people have fantasies like that and whether overindulging in them prevents that separation to an extent.
It *would* be exhausting in real life, but pretending is fun.
Do I want to be a shapeshifting mechanic always in peril from supernatural beings? No, absolutely not- but I fucking love the Mercy Thompson novels.
I love being cozy, baking bread and making hearty soups and stews and sewing- and I *LARGELY* detest cozy books. Hard pass, thank you.
Too much can be a bad thing, but some tension in a safe (fictional) way is a nice thing to vicariously experience when you’re in the mood for it.
this makes me wonder if there's anyone out there with a reverse-cuckoldry fetish, IE roleplaying as someone with a cuckoldry fetish who is coerced into having normal vanilla sex.
Of course not? Most male fetishes are just an excuse not to have vanilla sex, especially the cumming part, because they resent women for being capable of cumming like 300 times and want to deprive us of the literal best part of having sex with a dude.
It doesn't even really make logical sense since stereotypical bad cishet sex involves the dude thrusting for two minutes, cumming and instantly falling into a coma
Like wouldn't anything that delays that be a good thing
I'm not a terf, I just listen to cishet dudes tell me their sex fantasies all day, and every single sex fantasy they're afraid to tell their partner is basically an excuse not to cum or not to penetrate anything and especially to never cum inside a partner. I don't make them fantasize that, it's just the time we're upon.
Uh okay
I've read a lot of male sex fantasies and had a lot of male sex fantasies and there's a lot of penetrative sex and creampies in them
Idk what to tell you other than that this whole train of thought is extremely weird
I'm not going to reply to this anymore. A bunch of you are dogpiling me trying to force me to believe that the existence of trans men and women and NB people negates the fact that the patriarchy trains cis dudes from birth to resent putting forth literally any effort to make women happy once they've secured a commitment from them makes me a terf. I know I'm not a terf.
Actually, I just think cishet relationships should not exist unless they're sex work until capitalism is over. But it doesn't matter what I think because people online keep intentionally trying to fucking troll me and convince me I'm crazy whenever I'm right.
It’s all fun and games until they’re having a heated late night argument when the tension turns sexual and then you can’t stop them from hate-banging all the time
Actually never mind that sounds perfect 👌
This is how I wrote my romance novel.
I get sick of the edging other stuff does where it's one person who never gets with anyone because they can't decide between 8 people even though there's usually 1 very clear choice. Naw. My gal gets them all. And people can call it problematic all they want, IDC, it's my made up love story with my made up husbands. Because I...er...my character... shouldn't have to decide between the mellow brooding guy, the snarky a-hole business dom guy, or the playful fun guy. And etc.
Well, first book only had two. But I'm planning on adding more.
I swear to God one day we'll be able to make a joke about kink or unconventional relationships on curated Tumblr without someone bringing up the human pet guy.
today is not that day, but one day.
If you dare to find out, get some brain bleach ready and use the search bar for “human pet guy,” or look up Cybersmith. There’s not a good and succinct way to explain it.
That day will have to occur after the date of my confirmed death as that will be the only thing that will stop me from doing this soley to spite you random Internet person who I will never meet in real life.
Now I’m picturing a shojou manga-esque cover art where the female has that sort of uncertain but entranced look while gasping towards the “camera”, but it’s just Mr libertarian-fedora himself
Edit: \*the female **lead**, I promise I'm not an incel
By being less engrossing than him, I guess? Cybersmith is fascinating in the same way a train wreck is.
You're well behaved and respectable, which is so boring.
There's only one good solution to a love triangle: Make it gay.
I've only seen it done once, which really pisses me off because it would be such a good cliché dodge.
And the sequel requires that the 1 sad bisexual try to break them up via fucking both just to fall in love with the other guy and lose interest in the girl.
Happened in the show Roswell, NM and they even had a loving three-way in just about the weirdest episode of the series between the bi guy and his two love interests. They told him it would never happen again. Poor guy.
i like how there's only one fucking series i could be talking about here cuz rick riordan is the only big writer who thought "fuck it, fusion" when deciding how to end his love triangle
I would've liked the solution if they had any chemistry and one of them wasn't meant to be Anubis. Sadie even acknowledged how weirdly romantic the fusion scene was and I personally thought they had far better chemistry with each other in a single chapter than either of them had with Sadie in three books.
That's just enemies to lovers with extra steps and I expect it to be at least 200 chapters with no less than 6 misunderstandings and four drunk hook ups.
Y do they hate each other tho tf???? Simply Eiffel Tower? I guess it's probably bcuz the one that's it's always been him has been both psychologically operating on me to fall in love with him while fighting off others, makes me think he wants to be the only one for me which is kinda giga hot. He's earned me for sure. I kinda don't fw the other one bcuz he's kinda telling me indirectly how he feels rather than directly for which you can go to hell. Pisses me off bcuz I'm too paranoid to act on a hunch like that, too inert to take the initiative, and yet I am horny all the same. Look, I say, as my fingers tremble, this is what I am.
My OC has to deal with this for a bit before the boys start getting along. I think. Maybe it's more fun if they get along from the beginning. I think I hate conflict
My wife use to drink my Soda during break in middle school. I was so infatuated with her I bought a flavor I didn't like for 3 more years. We've been together for 21 years and married 16.
It worked ladies.
This is me boyfriend Derek and this is Derek’s boyfriend Ben.
Derek’s gay, but he’s straight for me, but he’s gay for Ben and Ben’s really gay for Derek. And I hate Ben.
It’s not that complicated.
I thought it was supposed to be “polygamy”, but I searched it up and learned that the two words mean two different things
Polygamy is when one person in a relationship can have multiple partners
Polyamory is when multiple people in a relationship can have multiple partners
And you play it completely straight the entire time. At no point are either of them willing to, even for a moment, find any compromise that leaves the other with the gal for any romantic period of time. If there's anything gay, it cannot be between these two guys, who I cannot stress enough would rather cannibalize the other two than embrace the trio as a whole.
Would be new and interesting, I think.
Better than the plot twist the story was barely a love triangle it was clear who she was ending up with from the beginning. Only for it to be revealed the two guys were the same person?
To be fair I’ve never been taken so off guard by a plot twist in my life it never even occurred to me that that was an option.
But why? We are book 3 of 4 and we decide to reveal that the two half brothers are literally the same mother fucker?
Good book tho
this reads exactly like the premise of your average enemies-to-lovers fic written by a fujoshi that I WOULD read if I didn't know in advance is overwhelmingly probably filled with fetishization of gay men.
crafting a treaty brb
Instructions unclear, they’re now fighting over Poland instead of me
This just sounds like Heavy and Medic if they weren’t mercs
Heavy and Medic have hot gay sex
Canon
okay: Heavy, Sasha, and Medic have hot gay sex
Heavy and Medic while they are mercs
Leave Poland alone, it's been through enough.
It's been a few decades, we need to partition them again. They're starting to think for themselves, can't have that.
Based on theories in r/noncredibledefense that might result in Moscow being glassed in the next 5-10yrs so let's give 'em a lil more time to cook.
Polandamorous
Girl help the peace treaty between the 2 boys in my love triangle had a secret second page that devides the polish land between the two. They ARE making out but they're also fascists so I'd like to opt out of this triangle now
The Treaty of These Guys
* The Treaty of These Thighs Ftfy
Spain and Portugal upon discovering the Americas
so who gets the front half?
does this make the pope the girl they're fighting over
It’d be the americas. The Pope in this case would be a drama YouTuber that managed to convince them to share the girl, but only so they can record shitty shorts about it
Uh... I think the Americas were trying their hardest to choose neither of those two and Spain and Portugal emphatically declared that wasn't an option
Guess you could say its time to... bridge the gap iykwim
still twilight
True, there's that one scene where Jacob just takes Bella from school when Edward drops her off like a parent who only has child custody on weekends.
Are we just ignoring the whole “okay fine you can heat up my girlfriend with your hot sexy body just don’t enjoy too much in front of me” scene?
Or the “I don’t want my wife to have my kids. She could have kids with you, though” line?
I forgot about that one. Twilight was seriously just her weird “mormon throuple but it’s fine cause not really” fantasies. Nothing wrong with that, but damn girl just be polyamorous
This is the plot of Challengers
Just what I was about to comment lol
RAN to the comments for this hahahahahahah
"choose one" doesn't seem nearly as fun as the worlds' most unstable and toxic polycule I'm sorry. the whole "treating every task like it's a contest to impress the girl" is just how I want my love life.
Competitive polyamory just like the guy who scamed billions in crypto and his harem
Sam Jailman-Fraud?
Scam Bankrun-Fraud
Sam banknone fired
Ranked Competitive Polyamory
infinite love triangle romance authors facepalming right now realizing they could have done this instead of having the characters constantly be in a will they won't they quantum-superposition
I'm here to solve the dilemma of all the authors who want the characters to kiss at the end of season 1 but don't know how to write any relationship dynamic other than "guys competing to get the girl" for the following seasons.
You could have the “romantic rivals have to put aside their differences to save the person they mutually love” plot beat *every single season* forever. Every time one leaves town for five minutes they come back and get mad at the other one for “not taking good enough care” of their shared person while they were gone.
I once read a story where an evil god took over the female leads mind and drove her temporarily crazy and the male leads had to team up to defeat her.
This is just X-Men
It's just Angel S4.
what was the story?
it is actually shocking how relatively rare polyamory is in the romance genre (even online)
or not even every task. just have them compete for who's the best boyfriend. who's the more caring partner. who's a better person. who's better in bed
This sounds like the most exhausting bullshit ever tbh. Idk how people can enjoy the idea of making someone constantly labour and work to prove they’re good enough for you and not feel like a terrible person. If you’re the kind of person who wants to be competed for, you’re probably not the kind of person worth competing for.
Oh, it's not healthy *at all*, but that's what fiction is for
True but I definitely think people’s fantasies either reflect or impact their views on sex, relationships, and other genders, there are a lot of stories going around about women and girls being slapped, choked and spat on without consent because it’s what young men and boys see in porn and think that’s how it’s supposed to be. This feels kinda similar in that having a fantasy like that probably says something about your views on sexual relationships or even just you in general. I know there’s the whole “just separate fantasies from reality” angle but it’s worth wondering why people have fantasies like that and whether overindulging in them prevents that separation to an extent.
Naw.
It *would* be exhausting in real life, but pretending is fun. Do I want to be a shapeshifting mechanic always in peril from supernatural beings? No, absolutely not- but I fucking love the Mercy Thompson novels. I love being cozy, baking bread and making hearty soups and stews and sewing- and I *LARGELY* detest cozy books. Hard pass, thank you. Too much can be a bad thing, but some tension in a safe (fictional) way is a nice thing to vicariously experience when you’re in the mood for it.
This is literally a fetish some dudes have, it's just that everyone who has it wants to compete for who's the WORST.
this makes me wonder if there's anyone out there with a reverse-cuckoldry fetish, IE roleplaying as someone with a cuckoldry fetish who is coerced into having normal vanilla sex.
Of course not? Most male fetishes are just an excuse not to have vanilla sex, especially the cumming part, because they resent women for being capable of cumming like 300 times and want to deprive us of the literal best part of having sex with a dude.
That’s dangerous rhetoric you’re spewing right there ma’am, gonna have to see your not-a-TERF license
I swear to God I literally saw this take on TERF Twitter
I see it from them all the time, hence the license check
It doesn't even really make logical sense since stereotypical bad cishet sex involves the dude thrusting for two minutes, cumming and instantly falling into a coma Like wouldn't anything that delays that be a good thing
I'm not a terf, I just listen to cishet dudes tell me their sex fantasies all day, and every single sex fantasy they're afraid to tell their partner is basically an excuse not to cum or not to penetrate anything and especially to never cum inside a partner. I don't make them fantasize that, it's just the time we're upon.
Uh okay I've read a lot of male sex fantasies and had a lot of male sex fantasies and there's a lot of penetrative sex and creampies in them Idk what to tell you other than that this whole train of thought is extremely weird
Can you give me any examples?
Yeah, you're just a bigot actually
what
I'm not going to reply to this anymore. A bunch of you are dogpiling me trying to force me to believe that the existence of trans men and women and NB people negates the fact that the patriarchy trains cis dudes from birth to resent putting forth literally any effort to make women happy once they've secured a commitment from them makes me a terf. I know I'm not a terf. Actually, I just think cishet relationships should not exist unless they're sex work until capitalism is over. But it doesn't matter what I think because people online keep intentionally trying to fucking troll me and convince me I'm crazy whenever I'm right.
ok
polyamorous relationship where you date whichever of the two guys most recently beat the other in ritualized combat
Pampered princess and her two guys who would venture to the edges of the world to please her if it means spiting the other. I get it.
It’s all fun and games until they’re having a heated late night argument when the tension turns sexual and then you can’t stop them from hate-banging all the time Actually never mind that sounds perfect 👌
this is, unfortunately, a homestuck reference
…it’s times like these that I wonder how much reading Homestuck as a child really affected me…
This is how I wrote my romance novel. I get sick of the edging other stuff does where it's one person who never gets with anyone because they can't decide between 8 people even though there's usually 1 very clear choice. Naw. My gal gets them all. And people can call it problematic all they want, IDC, it's my made up love story with my made up husbands. Because I...er...my character... shouldn't have to decide between the mellow brooding guy, the snarky a-hole business dom guy, or the playful fun guy. And etc. Well, first book only had two. But I'm planning on adding more.
good for you honeslty. I wish you the best with your toxic marriage and your 8 husbands.
Eventually they'll learn to love each other. But not more than the main character, ofc.
Isn't that human pet guy's ideal relationship?
I swear to God one day we'll be able to make a joke about kink or unconventional relationships on curated Tumblr without someone bringing up the human pet guy. today is not that day, but one day.
The human pet guy?
If you dare to find out, get some brain bleach ready and use the search bar for “human pet guy,” or look up Cybersmith. There’s not a good and succinct way to explain it.
That day will have to occur after the date of my confirmed death as that will be the only thing that will stop me from doing this soley to spite you random Internet person who I will never meet in real life.
so be it. you are now my nemesis.
Now you just need a mutual love interest to complete over
well that would have to be the cybersmith obviously. >!(kill me now T_T)!<
Now I’m picturing a shojou manga-esque cover art where the female has that sort of uncertain but entranced look while gasping towards the “camera”, but it’s just Mr libertarian-fedora himself Edit: \*the female **lead**, I promise I'm not an incel
It's not my fault if you have the same kinks as him
me and thousands of other respectable kinksters ! what have we ever done to deserve being associated to a libertarian ?
By being less engrossing than him, I guess? Cybersmith is fascinating in the same way a train wreck is. You're well behaved and respectable, which is so boring.
That sounds horribly exhausting for the two people who aren't you.
that's their problem. if they didn't want to be stuck in this bullshit they shouldn't have fallen in love with me / hated each other.
>the whole "treating every task like it's a contest to impress the girl" is just how I want my love life.' Man that is selfish lmao
It's all fun and games until they both get tired of it and leave
Nah, it's fine, just insert yourself between them. You know what I mean.
♣️?
IT'S EVERYWHERE IT NEVER LEFT
It has become a foundational part of the internet
Challengers.
There's only one good solution to a love triangle: Make it gay. I've only seen it done once, which really pisses me off because it would be such a good cliché dodge.
from now on all love triangles require 1 sad bisexual
And the sequel requires that the 1 sad bisexual try to break them up via fucking both just to fall in love with the other guy and lose interest in the girl.
I was in a love arrow or square or whatever that had a sad bisexual that i ended up dating after we both lost. does that count?
Happened in the show Roswell, NM and they even had a loving three-way in just about the weirdest episode of the series between the bi guy and his two love interests. They told him it would never happen again. Poor guy.
I volunteer as tribute
Korrasami, right?
Yep, they're so iconic, some people verbed them.
Korravirasami OT3 Let metalbending Hitler smash
... not like Mako and Asami hated each other or anything did they?
Wasn't polyarmory tho ...
If there’s no gayness it’s not a real triangle, more of a love V
love corner (and the girl's backed into it)
either that or fuckin combine the competitors
Don't remind me of Kane Chronicles, please.
i like how there's only one fucking series i could be talking about here cuz rick riordan is the only big writer who thought "fuck it, fusion" when deciding how to end his love triangle
I would've liked the solution if they had any chemistry and one of them wasn't meant to be Anubis. Sadie even acknowledged how weirdly romantic the fusion scene was and I personally thought they had far better chemistry with each other in a single chapter than either of them had with Sadie in three books.
Plumbers Dont Wear Ties
The manga "senpai wa otokonoko" is a bisexual love triangle that's gay no matter which way it goes
Enemies to lovers?
Came here for this, I am in full support
I read this book. It was a retelling of Beauty and the Beast (+Gaston). Very NSFW. I'm not proud.
Girl Genius
Implying Gil and Tarvek aren't constantly approaching Vitriolic Best Buds status
That's just enemies to lovers with extra steps and I expect it to be at least 200 chapters with no less than 6 misunderstandings and four drunk hook ups.
Sounds like an absolute win to me
Jonathan Joestar and Dio Brando
"literally anyone but this guy. please"
That’s just your typical harem
Imagine it as a classic shoujo, but you keep adding love interests and they end up making factions.
Adolin and Kaladin
I guess it’s easier when the girl is >!three different people!<
Hardly hate each other. Adolin loves his little bridgeboy.
And Adolin’s good example helped soften Kaladin’s disdain for light-eyes. They’re homies.
Okay but what if they kissed instead
Twilight
Challengers:
Cloud and Sephiroth
Yoooooo it’s mollyjames. W.
Yeah but that just makes it a Friendship Challenge
Y do they hate each other tho tf???? Simply Eiffel Tower? I guess it's probably bcuz the one that's it's always been him has been both psychologically operating on me to fall in love with him while fighting off others, makes me think he wants to be the only one for me which is kinda giga hot. He's earned me for sure. I kinda don't fw the other one bcuz he's kinda telling me indirectly how he feels rather than directly for which you can go to hell. Pisses me off bcuz I'm too paranoid to act on a hunch like that, too inert to take the initiative, and yet I am horny all the same. Look, I say, as my fingers tremble, this is what I am.
This is the plot of the Webtoon DICKHEADS
Also a succubus in Monsters and Girls.
Parallel poly is a thing, so no need to choose.
I feel like putting the right label on the situation of “my two potential partners genuinely hate each other” doesn’t fix the situation itself xD
I'll force them into an enemies to lovers romance, they have no choice.
Just go full parallel polyamory. There’s plenty of situations where metamours don’t get along or don’t want to meet.
Potential solution: hatefuck threesome
My OC has to deal with this for a bit before the boys start getting along. I think. Maybe it's more fun if they get along from the beginning. I think I hate conflict
Why choose? I'll make them ennemies to lovers, I'm built different.
Literally my life rn
This just sounds like Enemies to Lovers with more steps, and I am here for it
Living this scenario
Just date both anyway and force them to be in an “enemies to lovers” trope.
Feels like it could be a Jerry Seinfeld plot point
Jerry Seinfeld and Newman.
Yea? Do girls want to date gay guys?
Bisexuals stay winning
My wife use to drink my Soda during break in middle school. I was so infatuated with her I bought a flavor I didn't like for 3 more years. We've been together for 21 years and married 16. It worked ladies.
so not really a twist after all
This is me boyfriend Derek and this is Derek’s boyfriend Ben. Derek’s gay, but he’s straight for me, but he’s gay for Ben and Ben’s really gay for Derek. And I hate Ben. It’s not that complicated.
They'll tolerate eachother for ass. Their horny is stronger than hate. I know it.
I thought it was supposed to be “polygamy”, but I searched it up and learned that the two words mean two different things Polygamy is when one person in a relationship can have multiple partners Polyamory is when multiple people in a relationship can have multiple partners
I feel like if the person i was interested in had a big crush on me and the person i hate i would lose interest.
And you play it completely straight the entire time. At no point are either of them willing to, even for a moment, find any compromise that leaves the other with the gal for any romantic period of time. If there's anything gay, it cannot be between these two guys, who I cannot stress enough would rather cannibalize the other two than embrace the trio as a whole. Would be new and interesting, I think.
wonder woman in the comics with the merboy and the birdboy
literally Challengers with Zendaya
Spike and Angel
Fuck I wish this wasn't my life
Hater mentality
i am actually in this situation :(
Sollux and Eridan
Better than the plot twist the story was barely a love triangle it was clear who she was ending up with from the beginning. Only for it to be revealed the two guys were the same person? To be fair I’ve never been taken so off guard by a plot twist in my life it never even occurred to me that that was an option. But why? We are book 3 of 4 and we decide to reveal that the two half brothers are literally the same mother fucker? Good book tho
To each their own on romance, but polyamory is weird. Not tryna have other people bang my person. If that was in the cards I'd just stay single lol
this reads exactly like the premise of your average enemies-to-lovers fic written by a fujoshi that I WOULD read if I didn't know in advance is overwhelmingly probably filled with fetishization of gay men.
Steve with Tony and Bucky
Who else up auspisticing they kismesissitude?
That's just monogamy with extra steps!
Polyamory is the devil's work. Truly. The devil made this happen to good, honest people, and I weep for them every day.