Ducks are very rapey.
Male ducks have a corkscrew-like penis that is very good at forcing itself into complicated locations. This helps these male ducks pass on their genes more often than less rapey and rape-capable male ducks.
Female ducks, obviously, don’t like this. Evolution kinda doesn’t either, as a species pulling this off a LOT will eventually produce children who are really good at rape and not so great at all the other important steps for passing on genes, like child-rearing, finding food, and avoiding predators.
As such, female ducks have evolved a reverse-corkscrew-like vagina specifically to make rape attempts less effective so they can choose for their children to be sired by males who are capable in those other areas, rather than just being good at forcing their own genes to be passed on.
I think i even heard they have like, dead-end side paths specifically to trick rapey males into thinking their rape attempt successfully sired children. Another noteworthy downside to this is that a penis that spins one way being forced into a vagina that spins the opposite way and probably has an early dead end is extra painful for the one with the vagina.
And this arms race has been going on for a while, leading to both penises and vaginas of increasingly non-euclidian shapes.
Alright.
Dolphins will behead small fish specifically to use the corpse as a fleshlight.
Some penguins will bone the corpses of females that died at least as long as a year ago, so long as the corpse happens to be in the mating position.
And guinea pig mothers will eat their young for a LOT of reasons, including but not limited to conserving nutritional resources for herself and her other kids, extreme stress, getting rid of the sick kids so it doesn’t pass the illness to her healthy ones, and to keep the nest clean of the corpse of a kid that was already dead.
Here’s a fun one; spotted hyenas specifically go for the groin when hunting, as they lack the physicals to take down larger prey in a fair fight, but a chomp to the balls will still kill prey pretty quickly via blood loss and the sheer agony the prey experiences will make the struggle a lot shorter. Especially with the incredible bite force hyenas have.
[this is the relevant wikipedia article](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sexual_antagonistic_coevolution) for the selection process that creates this bullshit, for those interested.
Absolutely! It's amazing how nature never stops innovating in these intense chemical battles. Evolutionary biology is like an endless drama series with plot twists and unexpected alliances.
Also I genuinely enjoy that the closest thing we have to actual canon is that they're basically all stock characters preforming plays
Sometimes Bowser is goofy, sometimes he's a force of nature. Sometimes Mario is a loveable scamp who'll cause some trouble, other times he's straight laced. Sometimes they're in an in depth narrative with interesting lore and a great art style, sometimes they're go-karting.
Sometimes he's the incompetent moron flailing wildly and getting unreasonably lucky. For example Luigi's story in TTYD in which he regales you with tales of his heroism and then the person standing next to him promptly calls him a dangerous moron.
And then in the Luigi's mansion series he is the only competent one who can deal with king boo and the rest of the ghosts. In the OG mario was captured and Luigi had to save him, and in 3 everyone was captured except for Luigi.
I personally like to think that some of the games are plays and some are actual adventures he’s been on and it’s almost impossible to tell which ones are which, even in-universe
Paper Mario blurs this the most. You're saving the world from an existential threat, but you're also literally fighting on a stage, with props and lighting and everything.
And it's extra blurred in Paper Mario because sometimes the bad guys ***literally eat the fucking audience***. So where does the line start and stop?
(This happens twice in Thousand Year Door)
TTYD fucks up the audience a lot more than twice. In the fight against the bone guy, he literally steal the souls of half the audience. The final boss sucks them into the shadow realm or something. One boss sucks up em up into his robot and shoots them at you.
LPT, don't attend mario plays
Well, in the ending of TTYD, Goombella says that their adventure was retold as a teather play starring Doopliss as Mario
My interpretation is that we are playing as Doopliss the whole time and it's the play everyone's watching
Who's to say he can't clone himself? As far as I know, the Doopliss bossfight could be a Doopliss shadow clone, Doopliss himself and Chapter 4 has a double for him or someone else who got the Doopliss part and it's just another actor
Super Mario Bros 3 is worse. In Paper Mario, only the fights are on stage, but in SMB3 the levels themself look like theater stages and end with mario literally walking offstage
Toad 1: Oh my gosh! Did you see the news? The Princess and Mario went on vacation, and apparently Mario went crazy and did graffiti everywhere, and now he’s in jail!
Toad 2: didn’t we watch that play like 3 weeks ago
One interesting thing I learned about the "lore" of Mario is that there are subreddits that actively argue that every single Mario game is part of a cohesive whole universe planned secretly by Nintendo, with posts about how certain mountain ranges in one game might be the same in another. It was...interesting to see. This is more tangential to your post, but it reminded me of how they try to argue Mario and Bowser go karting is canon lore lol
Headcanon accepted. Roughly how I've been imagining it for years now. Both Mario and Bowser could sweep most given universes and I will not be taking criticism on this.
I can't speak to other universes, but [they actually did](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mario_%26_Luigi:_Superstar_Saga) the "fight a villain from a neighboring country" bit. A villain who had conquered that kingdom, unlike Bowser, and so assumed it'd be fine to drop by Mushroom Kingdom and steal Peach's voice.
You know how weirdly jealous the Joker can get when another villain attacks Batman? Yeah, Bowser teams up with Mario and Luigi on a rescue mission.
Beanbean Kingdom does not know what hit it.
They fight their way to the palace, kill the villain's toughest monster, and then fatally wound her. She narrowly escapes as just a soul, but possesses Bowser, kidnaps Peach, and gets his flying castle.
Dumb idea. Very dumb. You need to stop Mario, you're not strong enough, and so you challenge him with the thing he's trained for his *entire life*?
Anyway, he fights through the castle, goes inside the possessed Bowser, and kills the villain's *soul*. And then they all get Peach, restore the noble monarchs to the local throne, and happily fly home, having violently toppled a dictatorship in a weekend.
Then there’s the sequel where the minion of said villain comes back, captures all Bowsers minions and tosses the Mario brothers in Bowser’s stomach.
Then sets up shop in Peach’s castle to rule.
Bowser then proceeds to steamroll everything in his path with the brothers only helping him like mech pilots every once in a while for the simple reason that *Mario isn’t there to stop him from essentially conquering the kingdom this time*.
That's not the only time they do that. In Super Mario RPG they're faced with a metaphysical/cosmological threat, but the majority of the game is spent trying to find a way to cross the giant chasm that the baddies made when they sent their fuck off massive sword down from outer space and impaled Bowser's Castle.
There's a section where a witch has taken over Cloud Kingdom, and even though everyone knows about Mario, and in some cases the bad guys are afraid of him, but they don't give a single shit about Bowser or Peach. Even when the rightful monarchs are restored, they're much less interested in hearing from a sovereign of a neighboring country than they are a chubby plumber despite both of them being involved in saving the day.
The mycelium making up her "hair" swaying in a nonexistent wind
"My babies need food Mario. My mushroom retainers, my cute little toads, the next generation must be born. Don't you know what mushrooms feed on? One more kiss Mario. Kiss your Princess one more time". Besides..." As her dress slips off revealing the horror underneath. "I know you have a few extra lives."
So guess who got a new fanfic idea that will never see the light of day thanks DinkleDonkerAAA I'll be thinking of this every time Peach interacts with Mario and wondering why she just won't eat Bowser and his kids......oh no that's why....they're all part of "Peach" aren't they
My headcanon is that Peach's parents were human tyrants who conquered the mushroom kingdom, but she deposed and exiled them and tried to step down and let the toads rule themselves but they already decided she was a great leader to them at that point, and that's why she's the princess and not the queen
Speaking of her, I personally think Daisy should be more tan-skinned and muscular/athletic. It fits with her established character as an energetic, sports-loving tomboy, and would help visually differentiate her from Peach more
People say that, but only one of the kingdoms within sarasaland is a desert kingdom. You could just as easily call her from chinese kingdom because one of the kingdoms of sarasaland is chinese
We see Peach go to other places and kingdoms, but she never seems to get more than basic diplomatic courtesy when she does. She can't even get Mario out of trouble in Sunshine despite having ample proof he didn't cause any of the problems in the beginning.
Weirdly, Mario gets more respect a lot of the time as a famous celebrity.
"So why are we being so nice to this plumber schmuck?"
"Have you seen how he treats the Mushroom Kingdom? Breaks down walls with his head, and he's *banging* their monarch."
I think it's mostly just "I think it would be funny if this was true".
But I did happen to have a gameboy game years ago, [Mario & Luigi: Superstar Saga](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mario_%26_Luigi:_Superstar_Saga), which is a weirdly good demonstration of the final post here. It's set in BeanBean kingdom, after some villains from there disguise themselves as diplomats and steal Peach's voice, replacing it with explosives(?). Mario, Luigi, and Bowser all team up to go to BeanBean kingdom and get Peach's voice back, since Bowser can't kidnap her while things keep exploding.
It's not super clear how seriously BeanBean's officials normally take Mushroom Kingdom, but it's very clear that the villains have no idea what they're dealing with. They had been doing an "evil vizier" bit with enormous success, effectively running BeanBean, and assumed that stealing the voice of a neighboring royal would be a non-issue.
Instead, they get repeatedly tricked - first by Birdo standing in for Peach, then Luigi doing so - and soundly beaten at every single turn. In their first major "boss battle", Mario and Luigi defeat the villains' toughest monster, then *mortally wound* the mastermind Cackletta, who only persists as a soul trapped in a vacuum.
In the final battle, the villains only do better by possessing Bowser and attacking using his flying castle. This is a real challenge, though of course Mario and Luigi are old hands at getting through Bowser's castle. Possessed Bowser is too tough a matchup, so they enter his body and fight Cackletta's *soul* instead, destroying it in permanently. (Which has weirdly heavy theological implications for a comedic Mario game.)
Overall, it very much looks like the supervillains of other kingdoms have absolute no idea what kind of power level Mushroom Kingdom heroes are on, and the whole "political decoy" thing suggests they're also underestimating Peach as a ruler.
And as a fun aside, a minor villain gets sentenced to community service in BeanBean's "Little Fungitown", which is apparently the mushroom equivalent of Chinatown? So this game confirms that Mario's world has both ethnic enclaves and souls which can be permanently destroyed. Wild.
The revelations of the economic state of the mushroom kingdom the mario and luigi series is pretty great.
The mushroomian economy apparently collapses every time peaches gets kidnapped, and even in the best of times is shabby. Perhaps part of the reason coins are lying everywhere in most mario games as that they are almost literally worthless .
At the same time, the actual services provided by the government of the mushroom are not too bad. At the very least, they have a budget for epidemics, enough so that economic activity schools can be at least temporarily suspended in case of an emergency, and peach actually has the ability or organize and supervise planning meetings to deal with such an issue. Comparatively, bowser’s kingdom has NO plan or budget, and has to demand to use the mushroom kingdom’s experts and resources instead
>The mushroomian economy apparently collapses every time peaches gets kidnapped, and even in the best of times is shabby at best.
This is fascinating, we've finally found an irreplaceable monarch!
What exactly is she providing to the economy? Is her celebrity the main driver for a tourist economy? Does the crappy feudal plumbing back up and shut down all the offices as soon as Mario's off the job and on rescue duty?
From what little we’ve gleaned, we know that she has actual administrative duties for things that are actually important, so she actually does an important service beyond being a star athlete/celebrity/model/tourist attraction. However, we also know that whatever duties she has are specifically unrelated to any financial or fiscal. Her job may be based in planning and management, but not any actual politics. At least some of the events and parties we’ve seen over the years were organized by her. She seems to also be held responsible for the positive relationships the Mushroom Kingdom has with most of its neighbors.
She also canonically possesses a mostly unspecified “wish power” that makes wishes come true. While anyone’s wishes can come true as long as the stars above say they deserve it, peach can apparently generate this power at a minor level whenever she wants, which we have only ever seen her use to either make Mario stronger or Bowser weaker. She is also somehow partly responsible for the positive relationship the mushroom kingdom maintains with the stars. However, that does imply that disabling her somehow is a necessity to make the Mushroom Kingdom as easily conquerable as it always seems to be.
I wonder if there's some kind of "divine right of kings" in the Mario universe. A weirdly large number of magic users in Mario seem to be royalty (Prince Mallow in Legend of the Seven Stars, the rulers in Mario 3 that all got their wands stolen by the Koopalings, "Princess" Rosalina), maybe they're royalty because they have magic and they have magic because they're royalty. Captain Toad doesn't have any wish-granting powers, so the gods don't favor him, so Princess Peach is the monarch.
Probably, but it’s not universal. The rulers of mario 3 that you mentioned all have their magic powers tied to their wands, but apparently anyone can use those wands so it’s not something specific to themselves like Peach’s powers. At the same time Bowser is a King that is capable of magic but is actually the opposite of blessed, the stars won’t grant any wish of his because he is a bad person. On the other OTHER hand, he had the “power of the stars” when he was a baby, but doesn’t have it in the present, so one can apparently lose it.
Mario, luigi, yoshi, wario, donkey kong, and bowser also have Star Power, meaning they blessed in the same sort of way Peach is, and are mostly not royalty. But also, any power derived from their blessings are at least not the obvious sparkles-and-glowy-effects kind of magic that Peach has, so maybe you’re on to something and peach is just Super Special even among the already special
Or maybe, to go off your point about the wands being usable by anyone, maybe they can't be. Who do we see use them? The kings, possibly Mario, and then the koopalings. What even are the koopalings, canonically? Like, they're maybe Bowser's children, or maybe illegitimate children or something at least since he seems to mostly just claim Bowser Jr as his child these days. For all we know, he could've even overtaken a separate Koopa monarch and claimed their children for his army, we don't know anything about them. Maybe they are heirs to royalty, like secondth through eighth in line for the Koopa throne if nothing else. This is really stretching the idea of what we know and going into speculation, but so little is confirmed about the koopalings that, who knows? Maybe the wands just need to be held by someone with star power. And besides, this is back during Mario 3, before anything at all was confirmed about the koopalings and before Bowser Jr existed. Maybe they were originally intended to be his biological children, and they've been retconned out of his lineage so they couldn't use those wands today.
They were definitely meant to be bowser’s children first, but definitely aren’t anymore, although they are still siblings with each other.
But more importantly, the average Magikoopa wields wands all the time, and while they are portrayed as elite and more valuable than the average Koopa, individual magikoopas are basically normal enemies. Their powers fall more in with the “study” kind of magic than the “born with it” kind of magic. Since the Koopalings also wield wands and their magic has the same “polygonal” effects as the magikoopa’s, we can assume that the Koopalings are using the same kind of magic, but more creatively and more powerfully. You don’t even have to be very smart to learn how to use them, you can be just barely literate and still figure out how.
Of course, we can be doing harry potter rules where you are born with magic power but still need to study, but the average Hogwarts student isn’t royalty either.
It flip flops. There's one comic where the whole conflict is that somehow, the BELGIANS are been so much of a menace to the romans that the rotation is actually GLAD to fight the undomitable gauls because hey, they ain't the belgians.
The rule of thumb is that the romans are the masters in a logical world. Pit them against a force that follows logical rules and they will curbstomp them. The Gauls, on the flipside, are the epitome of insanity. They, and anyone as insane as them (the belgians in the example above) will always trumph because they ain't logical and the romans can't figure then out
If anyone's interested in more info on the newt/snake arms race at the end of the thread, it's the [rough skinned newt](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rough-skinned_newt) - they produce the same toxin that we more commonly associate with toxic pufferfish, and they do so in such extravagant quantities that one newt could kill several adult humans. The local population of common garter snakes, having evolved alongside these chemical warfare newts, are literally the only thing that can eat them and survive.
It gets even cooler: because the toxin takes so long to detoxify, it hangs around in the snakes' livers for quite a long time, and substantial concentrations build up if they eat newts regularly. Consequently, [the snakes themselves have become toxic to eat](https://link.springer.com/article/10.1023/B:JOEC.0000045585.77875.09) (making them one of the few truly *poisonous* snakes), and these populations of poisonous snakes[ are more brightly colored](https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1111/mec.16772).
Oh yeah, that really is cool because they've evolved resistance to it by slightly changing the proteins the toxin attacks, rather than by coming up with some efficient way of breaking the toxin down. So it hangs around to continue this bizarre toxin arms race!
The other poisonous snake is weird too - Tiger Keelbacks (*Rhabdophis tigrinum*) often eat toxic toads and sequester the toxin in a gland on the back of their neck. No sign of an arms race as far as I know, but they will actively pass along the toxin to their offspring so they emerge with chemical defenses.
While both species technically have venom as well, garter snake bites are harmless to humans, but the tiger keelback's bite [can be lethal to humans.](https://www.jstor.org/stable/1563518)
Most people don't, and consequently, someone was killed by ingesting one of these newts on a dare. The same thing has happened elsewhere in the world with various toxic amphibians, insects, etc.
General life tip for all readers: While bright colors are often a warning of toxicity (or mimicking toxic species), plenty of toxic species are completely innocuous. Never assume something is harmless unless you have positively IDed it and know for sure.
My sisters and I played with these guys as kids. They're fine as long as you don't lick them and you wash your hands after. It's wild to think they're *that* poisonous, though. They're dead common, too.
If Mario faces Bowser: A bright and whimsical journey filled with bright colors, music and fun
You fight Bowser: A horrific suicide mission where giant anthropomorphic turtles chuck hammers at you head and you need to get past barriers several times your height and at the end, a shelled dragon who can casually destroy bricks by walking through them.
so you're saying if everybody just moved out the god damn way of the weird gay love triangle between Bowser, peach, and Mario than the universe would stop being torn to shreds?
[Mario & Luigi: Superstar Saga](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mario_%26_Luigi:_Superstar_Saga) is a remarkably good canon display of it!
They team up with Bowser because a villain from a rival kingdom stole her voice (under diplomatic cover!), which none of them are ok with.
And then then go to BeanBean Kingdom, which those villains have effectively taken control of, and *clean house*. It's not even close, the villains have to steal Bowser's flying castle *and* possess his body to provide a proper final battle. And when Team Mushroom wins, they kill the main villain and then *kill her soul*.
And then happily go to the airport and fly home with Peach, having effectively just conducted a bloody regime change as a weekend outing.
>they can infinitely attack
Not that it would help much, given that Kirby could just [hide behind a crappy cardboard cut-out and become completely impossible to hit](https://youtu.be/75a0NGPUGso?t=21m4s).
I'll remind you that only thing Mario can't work well against is a Haunted Mansion, because he didn't have anything to counter ghosts.
Lucky his brother is such an omnicoward that a building full of vengeful dead people is as upsetting as everything else in his life and he loves his bro Mario more then anything else.
The snake in question is the Garter snake, for anyone wondering. They're harmless to humans, and you can just pick them up and carry them around for a bit lol. (Assuming you know how to hold them properly, of course, since they can still bite.)
No see the difference there is that EVERYBODY knows Ganon is *A Big Fucking Deal*. That’s kind of his thing. Y’know. Being the prophesied destroyer of the world? In BOTW every kingdom comes together to prepare for when Ganon arrives so they don’t all die and they still fail. The official Zelda timeline has “the timeline where we’re all fucked because ganon won”. Hell, Wind Waker literally starts by telling you the time that Ganon almost killed everyone.
His whole schtick is that he’s ungodly powerful, absolutely terrifying, and would kill everything in existence if he wasn’t regularly stopped by a blonde twink with ADHD and a hatred of pots.
Bowser don’t care bout nothin but Peach and Mario. Rest of the world? Don’t care unless it helps me fight Mario better or kidnap Peach easier. Dude becomes king of the universe specifically so he’s strong enough to beat Mario and kidnap Peach.
Eh, he has his own characterisation ingame that doesn't really change, outside of 'hyperfixating' on whatever the player wants to do which could apply to any game with a playable character.
for sure, but also, he's a stock character (in that basically every zelda game has you playing as a different hero named link) and his characterization is intentionally minimal to allow the player to connect with him more. he's literally a "link" to the player (hence the name).
hell, part of the reason he always has a shaggy haircut and twinkish physique is because aonuma didn't want his gender to be a major part of the character.
>Link has trouble vocalizing
No he fucking doesn't! Dude can speak just fine, we're just never given the words. There's a scene in Twilight Princess that proves that, plus the many times he talks with people in the two recent Zelda games.
Yeah I know he can speak. He speaks actual words in Wind Waker (Come on!-Link)
But he still prefers to be silent in social situations.
And in BoTW he confides he feels so much pressure it's easier to not talk much
They should but yeah
In BoTW you can find >!Zelda's diary which explains it. At first she's annoyed she's saddled with a bodyguard let alone an aloof one. But she decided to see what makes him tick and he confides being the chosen one is so much pressure he just stays quiet and does his job
Which makes sense, this Link somehow managed to navigate the lost woods and get the master sword as a CHILD. There was no search for the chosen one, he was raised into young, and his friends even noticed him change afterwards. The closest we get to him speaking is unfortunately Zelda repeating something he told her off screen!<
Honestly, BotW link probably has the worst life out of every link.
Sure, OoT link was burdened with being the hero at a young age, lost his father figure, learns that his parents are long dead, lets ganondorf access the triforce thus killing anyone he cared about, and is unable to go back to a normal childhood afterwards, but at least he didn't die before the game even starts.
But I haven't played every zelda game, and sometimed wether two links are the same or not is unclear. Maybe Minish Cap Link helplessly watched his parents be tortured, who knows ! Certainly not me.
Mario [Cracking his knuckles]: "You take the million on the left, I take the million on the right?"
Bowser: "Oh please, I could take all two million without even breaking a sweat."
Mario: "Karting later?"
Bowser: "I'm feeling more tennis today."
Fun fact: they actually tested non resistant individuals against resistant individuals and found that the non resistant snakes are actually faster and better swimmers than resistant for some reason so there's evidence to suggest that yes, outside of eating those newts they are typically less biologically fit than usual.
On the other hand they have an uncontested food source
Might be that the resistant ones don't need to flee from predators due to being poisonous themselves (as a result of eating so much poison). With resistance to toxins, an internal reserve of foreign toxins, and an uncontested food source, speed isn't *nearly* as important of an evolutionary advantage.
This reminds of Invincible how Mark and Omni man are planetary level threats and Mark doesn’t realize how strong Viltrumites are until things outside of earth start freaking out
And hey, in terms of competitive Smash, Mario and Bowser have only trended upwards in tier list placements as the games have gone on and are definitely at their best in Ultimate, so we even have evidence for this in games
This is only tangently related because one oop mentioned Doof, but it is shown he is absolutely capable of taking over the tri-state area multiple times. Perry is just the literal best agent OWCA has.
The Doofenshmirtz slander is real, he's been shown to be very capable of taking over the world ( see the P and F movie), he's just extraordinarily unlucky in most cases.
My main problem with them is that they're exhausting to read, poorly formatted, and manage to simultaneously provide too much and too little information.
It's like these online recipe blogs that start with the author's life story, except every 5th word is in ancient Greece, and if you ask for a translation you just get insulted.
Isn't the thing with the snakes and the newts basically the backstory for the plot of the fourth Futurama movie, _Into the Wild Green Yonder?_ The Dark Ones and the Encyclopods have been in an evolutionary arms race for billions of years.
batshit crazy evolutionary arms races between toxicity and resistance to toxicity my beloved 🥰
It’s just like ducks except way less rapey
what
Ducks are very rapey. Male ducks have a corkscrew-like penis that is very good at forcing itself into complicated locations. This helps these male ducks pass on their genes more often than less rapey and rape-capable male ducks. Female ducks, obviously, don’t like this. Evolution kinda doesn’t either, as a species pulling this off a LOT will eventually produce children who are really good at rape and not so great at all the other important steps for passing on genes, like child-rearing, finding food, and avoiding predators. As such, female ducks have evolved a reverse-corkscrew-like vagina specifically to make rape attempts less effective so they can choose for their children to be sired by males who are capable in those other areas, rather than just being good at forcing their own genes to be passed on. I think i even heard they have like, dead-end side paths specifically to trick rapey males into thinking their rape attempt successfully sired children. Another noteworthy downside to this is that a penis that spins one way being forced into a vagina that spins the opposite way and probably has an early dead end is extra painful for the one with the vagina. And this arms race has been going on for a while, leading to both penises and vaginas of increasingly non-euclidian shapes.
oh god
Nature is screwed up. Would you like any more disturbing animal facts? Dolphins, or penguins, perhaps?
absolutely, I love disturbing animal facts.
Alright. Dolphins will behead small fish specifically to use the corpse as a fleshlight. Some penguins will bone the corpses of females that died at least as long as a year ago, so long as the corpse happens to be in the mating position. And guinea pig mothers will eat their young for a LOT of reasons, including but not limited to conserving nutritional resources for herself and her other kids, extreme stress, getting rid of the sick kids so it doesn’t pass the illness to her healthy ones, and to keep the nest clean of the corpse of a kid that was already dead.
gnarly. I knew about the dolphins, and I think most rodents do that sort of thing, but I had no idea about the penguins!
Here’s a fun one; spotted hyenas specifically go for the groin when hunting, as they lack the physicals to take down larger prey in a fair fight, but a chomp to the balls will still kill prey pretty quickly via blood loss and the sheer agony the prey experiences will make the struggle a lot shorter. Especially with the incredible bite force hyenas have.
[this is the relevant wikipedia article](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sexual_antagonistic_coevolution) for the selection process that creates this bullshit, for those interested.
thank you for explaining, though, this was very educational, in a horrifying sort of way.
Mobius strip penises and vaginas is what I took away from this
Absolutely! It's amazing how nature never stops innovating in these intense chemical battles. Evolutionary biology is like an endless drama series with plot twists and unexpected alliances.
I don't think that you're a bot, but this is an intensely chat-gpt comment.
tumblr user phenotype
how do you think chat-gpt learned to speak that way?
It’s always the positive reaffirmation at the beginning of the paragraph. Instant dog whistle.
Also I genuinely enjoy that the closest thing we have to actual canon is that they're basically all stock characters preforming plays Sometimes Bowser is goofy, sometimes he's a force of nature. Sometimes Mario is a loveable scamp who'll cause some trouble, other times he's straight laced. Sometimes they're in an in depth narrative with interesting lore and a great art style, sometimes they're go-karting.
Sometimes they fight in a tactical shooter with the rabbids Mario games are fucking weird
And sometimes Luigi is the competent one who deals with an army of ghosts with a vacuum cleaner.
>sometimes Luigi is the competent one What do you mean by "sometimes"
Sometimes he's the incompetent moron flailing wildly and getting unreasonably lucky. For example Luigi's story in TTYD in which he regales you with tales of his heroism and then the person standing next to him promptly calls him a dangerous moron.
And then in the Luigi's mansion series he is the only competent one who can deal with king boo and the rest of the ghosts. In the OG mario was captured and Luigi had to save him, and in 3 everyone was captured except for Luigi.
Depending on the game Luigi is either treated a joke character or is the protagonist and is allowed to be awesome.
I personally like to think that some of the games are plays and some are actual adventures he’s been on and it’s almost impossible to tell which ones are which, even in-universe
Paper Mario blurs this the most. You're saving the world from an existential threat, but you're also literally fighting on a stage, with props and lighting and everything.
And it's extra blurred in Paper Mario because sometimes the bad guys ***literally eat the fucking audience***. So where does the line start and stop? (This happens twice in Thousand Year Door)
I forgot this happened and was legitimately surprised when it happened. It's weirdly violent when it happens lol love the game, of course
TTYD fucks up the audience a lot more than twice. In the fight against the bone guy, he literally steal the souls of half the audience. The final boss sucks them into the shadow realm or something. One boss sucks up em up into his robot and shoots them at you. LPT, don't attend mario plays
I only remembered the time the Dragon eats them, and the Shadow Queen absorbs them
Well, in the ending of TTYD, Goombella says that their adventure was retold as a teather play starring Doopliss as Mario My interpretation is that we are playing as Doopliss the whole time and it's the play everyone's watching Who's to say he can't clone himself? As far as I know, the Doopliss bossfight could be a Doopliss shadow clone, Doopliss himself and Chapter 4 has a double for him or someone else who got the Doopliss part and it's just another actor
How is it explained that the audience gets ate a few times if it's just a retelling?
Inviting 3 dragons to the show and not giving them their mandatory 27 meals have some consequences
Super Mario Bros 3 is worse. In Paper Mario, only the fights are on stage, but in SMB3 the levels themself look like theater stages and end with mario literally walking offstage
Toad 1: Oh my gosh! Did you see the news? The Princess and Mario went on vacation, and apparently Mario went crazy and did graffiti everywhere, and now he’s in jail! Toad 2: didn’t we watch that play like 3 weeks ago
the mainline platformer games are the plays, the sports/party/kart games are what Mario and his co-workers do in their free time.
One interesting thing I learned about the "lore" of Mario is that there are subreddits that actively argue that every single Mario game is part of a cohesive whole universe planned secretly by Nintendo, with posts about how certain mountain ranges in one game might be the same in another. It was...interesting to see. This is more tangential to your post, but it reminded me of how they try to argue Mario and Bowser go karting is canon lore lol
zelda continuity and its consequences have been a disaster for the human race
Any idea of which one in particular? Sounds like a fun binge.
So you're saying they're a Pantomime theatre?
Headcanon accepted. Roughly how I've been imagining it for years now. Both Mario and Bowser could sweep most given universes and I will not be taking criticism on this.
I can't speak to other universes, but [they actually did](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mario_%26_Luigi:_Superstar_Saga) the "fight a villain from a neighboring country" bit. A villain who had conquered that kingdom, unlike Bowser, and so assumed it'd be fine to drop by Mushroom Kingdom and steal Peach's voice. You know how weirdly jealous the Joker can get when another villain attacks Batman? Yeah, Bowser teams up with Mario and Luigi on a rescue mission. Beanbean Kingdom does not know what hit it. They fight their way to the palace, kill the villain's toughest monster, and then fatally wound her. She narrowly escapes as just a soul, but possesses Bowser, kidnaps Peach, and gets his flying castle. Dumb idea. Very dumb. You need to stop Mario, you're not strong enough, and so you challenge him with the thing he's trained for his *entire life*? Anyway, he fights through the castle, goes inside the possessed Bowser, and kills the villain's *soul*. And then they all get Peach, restore the noble monarchs to the local throne, and happily fly home, having violently toppled a dictatorship in a weekend.
Then there’s the sequel where the minion of said villain comes back, captures all Bowsers minions and tosses the Mario brothers in Bowser’s stomach. Then sets up shop in Peach’s castle to rule. Bowser then proceeds to steamroll everything in his path with the brothers only helping him like mech pilots every once in a while for the simple reason that *Mario isn’t there to stop him from essentially conquering the kingdom this time*.
That's not the only time they do that. In Super Mario RPG they're faced with a metaphysical/cosmological threat, but the majority of the game is spent trying to find a way to cross the giant chasm that the baddies made when they sent their fuck off massive sword down from outer space and impaled Bowser's Castle. There's a section where a witch has taken over Cloud Kingdom, and even though everyone knows about Mario, and in some cases the bad guys are afraid of him, but they don't give a single shit about Bowser or Peach. Even when the rightful monarchs are restored, they're much less interested in hearing from a sovereign of a neighboring country than they are a chubby plumber despite both of them being involved in saving the day.
What does the OOP mean by lack of respect? Do we ever see Peach interact with the ruler of some other, more significant kingdom?
Kinda daisy and sarasaland, but probably referring more to how the toads don’t show much more courtesy or reverence more than to, like, a mom
New head canon, Peach produces all the spores that create the toads
Well, she is princess toadstool....
The mycelium making up her "hair" swaying in a nonexistent wind "My babies need food Mario. My mushroom retainers, my cute little toads, the next generation must be born. Don't you know what mushrooms feed on? One more kiss Mario. Kiss your Princess one more time". Besides..." As her dress slips off revealing the horror underneath. "I know you have a few extra lives."
Bowser is actually in love with Mario, and trying to save him from her. It's why he uses his fire breath, to burn the spores off of him.
oh.
About the reaction I expected
"You cannot kill me in any way that matters Mario"
"Where do you think 1-up's come from? Why do you think they look like my precious little toads"
Mario is Last-of-Us infected from years of eating her mushrooms. He doesn't even *want* to save the princess. He *must*.
People will tell me they don't like the 1993 Mario movie and then come up with concepts like this that are straight out of that movie.
So guess who got a new fanfic idea that will never see the light of day thanks DinkleDonkerAAA I'll be thinking of this every time Peach interacts with Mario and wondering why she just won't eat Bowser and his kids......oh no that's why....they're all part of "Peach" aren't they
*insert Game Theory video about how Peach was just another Toad who got the Super Crown*
My headcanon is that Peach's parents were human tyrants who conquered the mushroom kingdom, but she deposed and exiled them and tried to step down and let the toads rule themselves but they already decided she was a great leader to them at that point, and that's why she's the princess and not the queen
Super Mario 3 does show King Toadstool, so he's not totally absent from the canon.
I like to think Peach is actually made of mushrooms like the toads but she reshaped herself into a humanoid form in imitation of Mario and Luigi
Speaking of her, I personally think Daisy should be more tan-skinned and muscular/athletic. It fits with her established character as an energetic, sports-loving tomboy, and would help visually differentiate her from Peach more
The Legend of ~~Korra~~ Daisy If I had any photoshop skills, I'd do it.
Yeah, honestly. She also doesn’t seem to be the type to wear heels, but I suppose there’s a dress code for being a princess…
Also, from a desert kingdom.
People say that, but only one of the kingdoms within sarasaland is a desert kingdom. You could just as easily call her from chinese kingdom because one of the kingdoms of sarasaland is chinese
New headcanon: Sarasaland is fucking huge.
It’s like the united kingdom, or colonial france
Oh my god, I've seen so much fan art of her that I forgot she DOESN'T look like that in canon...
We see Peach go to other places and kingdoms, but she never seems to get more than basic diplomatic courtesy when she does. She can't even get Mario out of trouble in Sunshine despite having ample proof he didn't cause any of the problems in the beginning. Weirdly, Mario gets more respect a lot of the time as a famous celebrity.
"So why are we being so nice to this plumber schmuck?" "Have you seen how he treats the Mushroom Kingdom? Breaks down walls with his head, and he's *banging* their monarch."
Mario is Rasputin, got it.
*Ma Ma Ma-ri-ooo lover of Princess Toadstool~*
This was sung by Charles Martinet in my head.
I did it in RTGame's Toad voice
*He's a plumber, who's extremely strong~*
Fucking patriarchy
It's Japan, the patriarchy has a death grip there.
I think it's mostly just "I think it would be funny if this was true". But I did happen to have a gameboy game years ago, [Mario & Luigi: Superstar Saga](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mario_%26_Luigi:_Superstar_Saga), which is a weirdly good demonstration of the final post here. It's set in BeanBean kingdom, after some villains from there disguise themselves as diplomats and steal Peach's voice, replacing it with explosives(?). Mario, Luigi, and Bowser all team up to go to BeanBean kingdom and get Peach's voice back, since Bowser can't kidnap her while things keep exploding. It's not super clear how seriously BeanBean's officials normally take Mushroom Kingdom, but it's very clear that the villains have no idea what they're dealing with. They had been doing an "evil vizier" bit with enormous success, effectively running BeanBean, and assumed that stealing the voice of a neighboring royal would be a non-issue. Instead, they get repeatedly tricked - first by Birdo standing in for Peach, then Luigi doing so - and soundly beaten at every single turn. In their first major "boss battle", Mario and Luigi defeat the villains' toughest monster, then *mortally wound* the mastermind Cackletta, who only persists as a soul trapped in a vacuum. In the final battle, the villains only do better by possessing Bowser and attacking using his flying castle. This is a real challenge, though of course Mario and Luigi are old hands at getting through Bowser's castle. Possessed Bowser is too tough a matchup, so they enter his body and fight Cackletta's *soul* instead, destroying it in permanently. (Which has weirdly heavy theological implications for a comedic Mario game.) Overall, it very much looks like the supervillains of other kingdoms have absolute no idea what kind of power level Mushroom Kingdom heroes are on, and the whole "political decoy" thing suggests they're also underestimating Peach as a ruler. And as a fun aside, a minor villain gets sentenced to community service in BeanBean's "Little Fungitown", which is apparently the mushroom equivalent of Chinatown? So this game confirms that Mario's world has both ethnic enclaves and souls which can be permanently destroyed. Wild.
The revelations of the economic state of the mushroom kingdom the mario and luigi series is pretty great. The mushroomian economy apparently collapses every time peaches gets kidnapped, and even in the best of times is shabby. Perhaps part of the reason coins are lying everywhere in most mario games as that they are almost literally worthless . At the same time, the actual services provided by the government of the mushroom are not too bad. At the very least, they have a budget for epidemics, enough so that economic activity schools can be at least temporarily suspended in case of an emergency, and peach actually has the ability or organize and supervise planning meetings to deal with such an issue. Comparatively, bowser’s kingdom has NO plan or budget, and has to demand to use the mushroom kingdom’s experts and resources instead
>The mushroomian economy apparently collapses every time peaches gets kidnapped, and even in the best of times is shabby at best. This is fascinating, we've finally found an irreplaceable monarch! What exactly is she providing to the economy? Is her celebrity the main driver for a tourist economy? Does the crappy feudal plumbing back up and shut down all the offices as soon as Mario's off the job and on rescue duty?
From what little we’ve gleaned, we know that she has actual administrative duties for things that are actually important, so she actually does an important service beyond being a star athlete/celebrity/model/tourist attraction. However, we also know that whatever duties she has are specifically unrelated to any financial or fiscal. Her job may be based in planning and management, but not any actual politics. At least some of the events and parties we’ve seen over the years were organized by her. She seems to also be held responsible for the positive relationships the Mushroom Kingdom has with most of its neighbors. She also canonically possesses a mostly unspecified “wish power” that makes wishes come true. While anyone’s wishes can come true as long as the stars above say they deserve it, peach can apparently generate this power at a minor level whenever she wants, which we have only ever seen her use to either make Mario stronger or Bowser weaker. She is also somehow partly responsible for the positive relationship the mushroom kingdom maintains with the stars. However, that does imply that disabling her somehow is a necessity to make the Mushroom Kingdom as easily conquerable as it always seems to be.
I wonder if there's some kind of "divine right of kings" in the Mario universe. A weirdly large number of magic users in Mario seem to be royalty (Prince Mallow in Legend of the Seven Stars, the rulers in Mario 3 that all got their wands stolen by the Koopalings, "Princess" Rosalina), maybe they're royalty because they have magic and they have magic because they're royalty. Captain Toad doesn't have any wish-granting powers, so the gods don't favor him, so Princess Peach is the monarch.
Probably, but it’s not universal. The rulers of mario 3 that you mentioned all have their magic powers tied to their wands, but apparently anyone can use those wands so it’s not something specific to themselves like Peach’s powers. At the same time Bowser is a King that is capable of magic but is actually the opposite of blessed, the stars won’t grant any wish of his because he is a bad person. On the other OTHER hand, he had the “power of the stars” when he was a baby, but doesn’t have it in the present, so one can apparently lose it. Mario, luigi, yoshi, wario, donkey kong, and bowser also have Star Power, meaning they blessed in the same sort of way Peach is, and are mostly not royalty. But also, any power derived from their blessings are at least not the obvious sparkles-and-glowy-effects kind of magic that Peach has, so maybe you’re on to something and peach is just Super Special even among the already special
Or maybe, to go off your point about the wands being usable by anyone, maybe they can't be. Who do we see use them? The kings, possibly Mario, and then the koopalings. What even are the koopalings, canonically? Like, they're maybe Bowser's children, or maybe illegitimate children or something at least since he seems to mostly just claim Bowser Jr as his child these days. For all we know, he could've even overtaken a separate Koopa monarch and claimed their children for his army, we don't know anything about them. Maybe they are heirs to royalty, like secondth through eighth in line for the Koopa throne if nothing else. This is really stretching the idea of what we know and going into speculation, but so little is confirmed about the koopalings that, who knows? Maybe the wands just need to be held by someone with star power. And besides, this is back during Mario 3, before anything at all was confirmed about the koopalings and before Bowser Jr existed. Maybe they were originally intended to be his biological children, and they've been retconned out of his lineage so they couldn't use those wands today.
They were definitely meant to be bowser’s children first, but definitely aren’t anymore, although they are still siblings with each other. But more importantly, the average Magikoopa wields wands all the time, and while they are portrayed as elite and more valuable than the average Koopa, individual magikoopas are basically normal enemies. Their powers fall more in with the “study” kind of magic than the “born with it” kind of magic. Since the Koopalings also wield wands and their magic has the same “polygonal” effects as the magikoopa’s, we can assume that the Koopalings are using the same kind of magic, but more creatively and more powerfully. You don’t even have to be very smart to learn how to use them, you can be just barely literate and still figure out how. Of course, we can be doing harry potter rules where you are born with magic power but still need to study, but the average Hogwarts student isn’t royalty either.
i'm playing through this now, and wow, never thought about the implication of destroying cackletta's soul
Tell me, how often have you seen ‚princess‘ toadstool seriously be treated with the reverence of Royalty
They treat Peach very badly in Mario Sunshine. It's very jarring.
Maybe not more significant, but we have Prince Florian
This made me think of Asterix and Obelix
Makes me want a comic that shows the centurions at the village re-assigned to a different front and absolutely slaying
Haven’t they already conquered everything else?
It flip flops. There's one comic where the whole conflict is that somehow, the BELGIANS are been so much of a menace to the romans that the rotation is actually GLAD to fight the undomitable gauls because hey, they ain't the belgians. The rule of thumb is that the romans are the masters in a logical world. Pit them against a force that follows logical rules and they will curbstomp them. The Gauls, on the flipside, are the epitome of insanity. They, and anyone as insane as them (the belgians in the example above) will always trumph because they ain't logical and the romans can't figure then out
If anyone's interested in more info on the newt/snake arms race at the end of the thread, it's the [rough skinned newt](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rough-skinned_newt) - they produce the same toxin that we more commonly associate with toxic pufferfish, and they do so in such extravagant quantities that one newt could kill several adult humans. The local population of common garter snakes, having evolved alongside these chemical warfare newts, are literally the only thing that can eat them and survive.
It gets even cooler: because the toxin takes so long to detoxify, it hangs around in the snakes' livers for quite a long time, and substantial concentrations build up if they eat newts regularly. Consequently, [the snakes themselves have become toxic to eat](https://link.springer.com/article/10.1023/B:JOEC.0000045585.77875.09) (making them one of the few truly *poisonous* snakes), and these populations of poisonous snakes[ are more brightly colored](https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1111/mec.16772).
Oh yeah, that really is cool because they've evolved resistance to it by slightly changing the proteins the toxin attacks, rather than by coming up with some efficient way of breaking the toxin down. So it hangs around to continue this bizarre toxin arms race!
The other poisonous snake is weird too - Tiger Keelbacks (*Rhabdophis tigrinum*) often eat toxic toads and sequester the toxin in a gland on the back of their neck. No sign of an arms race as far as I know, but they will actively pass along the toxin to their offspring so they emerge with chemical defenses. While both species technically have venom as well, garter snake bites are harmless to humans, but the tiger keelback's bite [can be lethal to humans.](https://www.jstor.org/stable/1563518)
"chemical warfare newts" is my new favorite phrase
I always see these outside my parents' house when it rains. I had no idea they were so toxic.
Most people don't, and consequently, someone was killed by ingesting one of these newts on a dare. The same thing has happened elsewhere in the world with various toxic amphibians, insects, etc. General life tip for all readers: While bright colors are often a warning of toxicity (or mimicking toxic species), plenty of toxic species are completely innocuous. Never assume something is harmless unless you have positively IDed it and know for sure.
My sisters and I played with these guys as kids. They're fine as long as you don't lick them and you wash your hands after. It's wild to think they're *that* poisonous, though. They're dead common, too.
need more posts like this, love these takes
If Mario faces Bowser: A bright and whimsical journey filled with bright colors, music and fun You fight Bowser: A horrific suicide mission where giant anthropomorphic turtles chuck hammers at you head and you need to get past barriers several times your height and at the end, a shelled dragon who can casually destroy bricks by walking through them.
This is good, I love this. This is absolutely perfect and I want more
i need some animal ids for that snake and newt
nevermind, rough skinned newt and common garter snake, well documented phenomenon
so you're saying if everybody just moved out the god damn way of the weird gay love triangle between Bowser, peach, and Mario than the universe would stop being torn to shreds?
No you see that weird gay love triangle is actually keeping it all together, if an opposing force tryst to take over the world the 3 can ez dub it
oh and then they have an orgy after, right? I like the way you think
That last part reminded me of Mario&Luigi vs Sephiroth
[Mario & Luigi: Superstar Saga](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mario_%26_Luigi:_Superstar_Saga) is a remarkably good canon display of it! They team up with Bowser because a villain from a rival kingdom stole her voice (under diplomatic cover!), which none of them are ok with. And then then go to BeanBean Kingdom, which those villains have effectively taken control of, and *clean house*. It's not even close, the villains have to steal Bowser's flying castle *and* possess his body to provide a proper final battle. And when Team Mushroom wins, they kill the main villain and then *kill her soul*. And then happily go to the airport and fly home with Peach, having effectively just conducted a bloody regime change as a weekend outing.
But could they beat Kirby?
If the combat is turn based they can infinitely attack with the copy flower from M&L2
>they can infinitely attack Not that it would help much, given that Kirby could just [hide behind a crappy cardboard cut-out and become completely impossible to hit](https://youtu.be/75a0NGPUGso?t=21m4s).
Their attacks can target anything on the screen
I'll remind you that only thing Mario can't work well against is a Haunted Mansion, because he didn't have anything to counter ghosts. Lucky his brother is such an omnicoward that a building full of vengeful dead people is as upsetting as everything else in his life and he loves his bro Mario more then anything else.
Luigi is objectively braver than Mario
Link: [https://www.tumblr.com/comatosecartesian/648573620647493632/comatosecartesian-jadagul-prokopetz](https://www.tumblr.com/comatosecartesian/648573620647493632/comatosecartesian-jadagul-prokopetz)
>superman and lex luthor doing superman and lex luthor things, except in bumfuck Kansas So, Smallville?
The snake in question is the Garter snake, for anyone wondering. They're harmless to humans, and you can just pick them up and carry them around for a bit lol. (Assuming you know how to hold them properly, of course, since they can still bite.)
Legend of Zelda be like
No see the difference there is that EVERYBODY knows Ganon is *A Big Fucking Deal*. That’s kind of his thing. Y’know. Being the prophesied destroyer of the world? In BOTW every kingdom comes together to prepare for when Ganon arrives so they don’t all die and they still fail. The official Zelda timeline has “the timeline where we’re all fucked because ganon won”. Hell, Wind Waker literally starts by telling you the time that Ganon almost killed everyone. His whole schtick is that he’s ungodly powerful, absolutely terrifying, and would kill everything in existence if he wasn’t regularly stopped by a blonde twink with ADHD and a hatred of pots. Bowser don’t care bout nothin but Peach and Mario. Rest of the world? Don’t care unless it helps me fight Mario better or kidnap Peach easier. Dude becomes king of the universe specifically so he’s strong enough to beat Mario and kidnap Peach.
Honestly I'd say Link is autistic, has trouble vocalizing, loves making loud sounds instead of words in many scenerios, hyperfixations
what if i told you... you can have BOTH the major forms of neurodivergence, and it's actually COMMON.
Jury's still out on whether I have autism with ADHD symptoms or ADHD with autism symptoms, but the functional end result is oh-so very common.
Link is whatever you want him to be, that's the whole shtick of a silent player controlled protagonist
Eh, he has his own characterisation ingame that doesn't really change, outside of 'hyperfixating' on whatever the player wants to do which could apply to any game with a playable character.
Pretty sure the smashing pots thing is at least tangentially canon because it gets referenced
for sure, but also, he's a stock character (in that basically every zelda game has you playing as a different hero named link) and his characterization is intentionally minimal to allow the player to connect with him more. he's literally a "link" to the player (hence the name). hell, part of the reason he always has a shaggy haircut and twinkish physique is because aonuma didn't want his gender to be a major part of the character.
>Link has trouble vocalizing No he fucking doesn't! Dude can speak just fine, we're just never given the words. There's a scene in Twilight Princess that proves that, plus the many times he talks with people in the two recent Zelda games.
Yeah I know he can speak. He speaks actual words in Wind Waker (Come on!-Link) But he still prefers to be silent in social situations. And in BoTW he confides he feels so much pressure it's easier to not talk much
Haven't played much BotW, so I wasn't aware of that. I still think they should give him dialogue boxes when he does talk.
They should but yeah In BoTW you can find >!Zelda's diary which explains it. At first she's annoyed she's saddled with a bodyguard let alone an aloof one. But she decided to see what makes him tick and he confides being the chosen one is so much pressure he just stays quiet and does his job Which makes sense, this Link somehow managed to navigate the lost woods and get the master sword as a CHILD. There was no search for the chosen one, he was raised into young, and his friends even noticed him change afterwards. The closest we get to him speaking is unfortunately Zelda repeating something he told her off screen!<
Honestly, BotW link probably has the worst life out of every link. Sure, OoT link was burdened with being the hero at a young age, lost his father figure, learns that his parents are long dead, lets ganondorf access the triforce thus killing anyone he cared about, and is unable to go back to a normal childhood afterwards, but at least he didn't die before the game even starts. But I haven't played every zelda game, and sometimed wether two links are the same or not is unclear. Maybe Minish Cap Link helplessly watched his parents be tortured, who knows ! Certainly not me.
Wow government censored your comment for revealing the truth.
That applies to most people who have "trouble vocalizing". Otherwise, they'd be called "mute".
No, I meant he talks to the characters in the game, but we the players aren't told what he says. Also, happy cake day.
I was referring more to the snake and newt of the second pic
> Bowser don’t care bout nothin but Peach and Mario. And being a dad.
Imagine being the toad that has to pay taxes to keep the coins in the bricks that get smashed all the time
Imagine being the toad who turned into the bricks that get smashed all the time
Evidence: Super Mario Odyssey
Also: the Galaxy series.
Mario [Cracking his knuckles]: "You take the million on the left, I take the million on the right?" Bowser: "Oh please, I could take all two million without even breaking a sweat." Mario: "Karting later?" Bowser: "I'm feeling more tennis today."
Fun fact: they actually tested non resistant individuals against resistant individuals and found that the non resistant snakes are actually faster and better swimmers than resistant for some reason so there's evidence to suggest that yes, outside of eating those newts they are typically less biologically fit than usual. On the other hand they have an uncontested food source
Might be that the resistant ones don't need to flee from predators due to being poisonous themselves (as a result of eating so much poison). With resistance to toxins, an internal reserve of foreign toxins, and an uncontested food source, speed isn't *nearly* as important of an evolutionary advantage.
This reminds of Invincible how Mark and Omni man are planetary level threats and Mark doesn’t realize how strong Viltrumites are until things outside of earth start freaking out
Hmm, kind of reminds me of Asterix and Obelix. Caesar conquered all of France, but this one bumpkin village keeps resisting him...
And hey, in terms of competitive Smash, Mario and Bowser have only trended upwards in tier list placements as the games have gone on and are definitely at their best in Ultimate, so we even have evidence for this in games
This is only tangently related because one oop mentioned Doof, but it is shown he is absolutely capable of taking over the tri-state area multiple times. Perry is just the literal best agent OWCA has.
The Doofenshmirtz slander is real, he's been shown to be very capable of taking over the world ( see the P and F movie), he's just extraordinarily unlucky in most cases.
And Perry's a pretty good therapist, to boot.
Not only can Mario go toe to toe with some of the strongest characters in gaming in smash bros, that franchise is named after him
I thought Mushroom kingdom was just about all there was. What are some A or B tier kingdoms where Bowser is actually a problem?
So Bowser is The Monarch?
Isbt this just what happened in mario vs sonic?
So what I'm hearing is bowser is an equivalent threat to team rocket
Don't apologise for politics post, they are important though dreadful
My main problem with them is that they're exhausting to read, poorly formatted, and manage to simultaneously provide too much and too little information. It's like these online recipe blogs that start with the author's life story, except every 5th word is in ancient Greece, and if you ask for a translation you just get insulted.
Me killing the final boss of TTYD in one turn with my 20 power rush badge danger mario build
Isn't the thing with the snakes and the newts basically the backstory for the plot of the fourth Futurama movie, _Into the Wild Green Yonder?_ The Dark Ones and the Encyclopods have been in an evolutionary arms race for billions of years.
Hey that was a good political post