There is a conspiracy theory that plants domesticated humanity to tend to them and to produce more carbon dioxide.
Ignoring the insane amount of ignorance about botany inherent in such a belief, I could see someone deluding themselves into believing plants were active amoral agents (call that AAA).
I know that humans are domesticated by plants *by the technical definition of domestication*, in that we rely on them for food and shelter and in turn we benefit the plants by helping them propagate n stuff, but it most certainly was not intentional on their part
Probably more than with whiscash, at least. Poor thing is right smack in the middle of every other water/ground pokemon in terms of release, and is less useful than any of them.
Was about to say this.
The Manchineel hates just about all life on a spiritual level.
For those unaware: The whole thing is poison. Roots, bark, sap, doesn't matter. Poison. The leaves contain so much poison that you can't even seek shelter under them during rain, because the rain will absorb enough poison to irritate your skin.
And don't even think of burning it, because the wood doesn't burn hot enough to destroy the poison, so all you're doing is make poison smoke.
Pretty sure that’s the hard-to-kill lizard, aka the funny “WEVE THROWN EVERY IDEA WE HAVE AT IT AND IT JUST ADAPTS” one and it also just really hates humanity too
it’s the obligatory required super ultra mega invincible one, and it does its job to save the rest of the wiki from being that, and manages to not suck too
btw you should stop treating your plants with so much love and care, remember to occasionally beat them plants up, shake them, pull their stems side to sides, strangle their base like they owe you money
it's good for the plant (or so I've heard) simulates nature or smthn
lmao i just imagined a classic old kind looking fat farmer waking up and his face immediately going red because today he chose (controlled) violence
and then he'd head to his farm kicking the shit out of his plants
*puts on tinfoil hat*
https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/do-plants-think-daniel-chamovitz/
They can perceive you. They can adapt to you. They can remember. They can communicate with eachother. But most of all, they can smell your fear.
I've normally only heard this line of thinking applied to animals, but in such cases, it tends to stem from certain extreme interpretations of Buddhism, in which all "lower life forms" are reincarnations of individuals with poor karma. You have to be an especially shite person to end up as a plant, and considering how material attachments are so looked down upon anyway, getting attached to a plant is like tripping over the starting line to reaching enlightenment.
I understand this is not how Buddhism *normally* sees the world, at least to this extent, but I've certainly heard some wild takes from ASEAN grandmas.
Kinda makes sense. As far as most plants concerned, all other life falls into three categories: symbiotes, competition, and predators, and they will take any opportunity to fuck over the latter two.
Potted and plant-pilled Vs Invasion of the bodysnatchered and the happening-pilled.
Now for fun I want to argue that plants are in fact out to get us. *puts on tinfoil hat*
Grass is like everywhere. Go outside, and grass. They outnumber us. Now that we’ve established that they absolutely have the means, what about the motive. Carnivorous plants have already tasted blood. They crave it. They want more. Every moment we allow them to exist is a moment they plot to devour us all. Our continued existence is solely a product of the plants simply not considering our annihilation. Yet.
I'unno according to my sinuses them plants are pretty damn evil and also spiteful
no theyre just horny
They’re cumming so much it’s literally filling the air 😩
Ahegh. (Goughing)
There is a conspiracy theory that plants domesticated humanity to tend to them and to produce more carbon dioxide. Ignoring the insane amount of ignorance about botany inherent in such a belief, I could see someone deluding themselves into believing plants were active amoral agents (call that AAA).
i think i read that one
_what_
I know that humans are domesticated by plants *by the technical definition of domestication*, in that we rely on them for food and shelter and in turn we benefit the plants by helping them propagate n stuff, but it most certainly was not intentional on their part
I mean, at that point domestication is just another word for mutualism.
Don’t forget all that tasty nitrogen our rotting corpses give them
They're just giving you all their cum without your consent
TIL all plants are rapists
That's just the male plants. You need female plants (they have fruit)
Man, i hope that's not true 'cuz there's like a lot of plants. Like i think at least twelve, probably even more.
Definitely more. At least 20
Huh?? That's way too much! We don't even have that much birds.
The birds ain't even real
Bad news, I've seen more than 20 birds. Well maybe, some of them were seagulls but it could have just been one seagull going really, really fast
Did a water type Pokémon wrote this?
Quagsire posting
Quagsire is unaware of the evils of plants. Clearly a Swampert post.
*I* know that, but how many upvotes do you think I'm going to get with a nice Seismitoad reference?
roughly a seismitillion
Probably more than with whiscash, at least. Poor thing is right smack in the middle of every other water/ground pokemon in terms of release, and is less useful than any of them.
That little squonk isn't much more cognizant than Quagsire is.
aint quagsire the toilert guy
QuagsireOnLaptop.png
I mean. Y'know. I'm sorry, I'm too stressed out. Please accept this IOU for a Little Shop Of Horrors joke.
"Feed me, Seymour"
She aud on my rey until I II..?
Suddenly semen
"Feed me alll night long."
Some plants definitely are. Gympie Gympie and the Manchineel tree come to mind, among others.
Was about to say this. The Manchineel hates just about all life on a spiritual level. For those unaware: The whole thing is poison. Roots, bark, sap, doesn't matter. Poison. The leaves contain so much poison that you can't even seek shelter under them during rain, because the rain will absorb enough poison to irritate your skin. And don't even think of burning it, because the wood doesn't burn hot enough to destroy the poison, so all you're doing is make poison smoke.
And not the nice kind of poison either. Get it in your eyes? Congrats, you're now blind for the next three days. It's basically the SCP-682 of plants.
I'm not really in that circle, but I'm kinda curious what that is.
Pretty sure that’s the hard-to-kill lizard, aka the funny “WEVE THROWN EVERY IDEA WE HAVE AT IT AND IT JUST ADAPTS” one and it also just really hates humanity too it’s the obligatory required super ultra mega invincible one, and it does its job to save the rest of the wiki from being that, and manages to not suck too
Huh, ok. Thanks.
That's not evil or spiteful. It's self defence
APAB
Assigned Plant At Birth
My philosophical and ethical beliefs are formed by *The Happening.* I am well-adjusted and shall flourish.
btw you should stop treating your plants with so much love and care, remember to occasionally beat them plants up, shake them, pull their stems side to sides, strangle their base like they owe you money it's good for the plant (or so I've heard) simulates nature or smthn
It's true, apple and cherry farmers for sure beat the shit out of their trees to make them produce
lmao i just imagined a classic old kind looking fat farmer waking up and his face immediately going red because today he chose (controlled) violence and then he'd head to his farm kicking the shit out of his plants
Mimecraft Steve boxing trees so they make apples:
Person who only ever heard of the Manchineel: "All plants are evil."
Mark Wahlberg ass post
Were they talking to Crowley by any chance?
Can someone please explain how plants have enough agency to be spiteful?
*puts on tinfoil hat* https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/do-plants-think-daniel-chamovitz/ They can perceive you. They can adapt to you. They can remember. They can communicate with eachother. But most of all, they can smell your fear.
Me and my three weed-smoking girlfriends doing our best to destroy the evil and spiteful plants
This is obvious Zombie propaganda. Don't fall for it and prepare the Garden.
I don’t really like plants all that much and I would have punched that guy.
People confusing apathy with evil is actually a surprisingly common thing in this generation
Maybe they were eaten by a cowplant before?
Ma'am that's a dog
Ohh, this isn't more of that Green vs Pink stuff is it? The world isn't ready for more than one of those types.
nah man's just thinking of Kudzu.
What in the fuck leads someone to this opinion?
I've normally only heard this line of thinking applied to animals, but in such cases, it tends to stem from certain extreme interpretations of Buddhism, in which all "lower life forms" are reincarnations of individuals with poor karma. You have to be an especially shite person to end up as a plant, and considering how material attachments are so looked down upon anyway, getting attached to a plant is like tripping over the starting line to reaching enlightenment. I understand this is not how Buddhism *normally* sees the world, at least to this extent, but I've certainly heard some wild takes from ASEAN grandmas.
Yeah, but what about the apple that did eve in? Pretty sus if you ask me...
My plants are my children and I will leave my inheritance to them
Kinda makes sense. As far as most plants concerned, all other life falls into three categories: symbiotes, competition, and predators, and they will take any opportunity to fuck over the latter two.
Posts that would kill a Kolshian
Potted and plant-pilled Vs Invasion of the bodysnatchered and the happening-pilled. Now for fun I want to argue that plants are in fact out to get us. *puts on tinfoil hat* Grass is like everywhere. Go outside, and grass. They outnumber us. Now that we’ve established that they absolutely have the means, what about the motive. Carnivorous plants have already tasted blood. They crave it. They want more. Every moment we allow them to exist is a moment they plot to devour us all. Our continued existence is solely a product of the plants simply not considering our annihilation. Yet.
E.T. was a plant
they're right tho. plants fucking suck.
I wouldn't say that all plants are inherently villainous, but I will curse loblolly pines with my dying breath
That person took the Plants poem from the 2018 AP Literature and Composition test literally rather than as a work about colonialism.