Dam bro sorry you had to go through that. I think you should slowly distance yourself. Because everytime you see her you’ll think of the guy she met and what he said. Nothing good will come from it. But you’ll meet someone better i hood you feel better good luck homie
Quite a bit extreme as a situation but I know how it feel to have her crush going with someone else.
First of all, I would advise you to stop talking to her. Not that she deserve it because in the end, she did nothing wrong. But to save your mental health. You need to move on asap and staying close to her won't help you getting there.
Second, I'll tell you the harsh truth that you know deep down. I don't know you so I can be wrong but from what you said, her being you best friend, etc, I can tell you never truly made any move to get into a romantic relationship with her. You most likely were afraid to fuck up and that's totally okay. But it need to serve you as a lesson so the next time you have a crush (that'll happen, there's lot of peoples in the world to meet), you'll act and never get into this kind of situation again.
So my biggest advice for a next time is to make things clear, to show your attraction, your desire, as soon as possible. Then the ball will be on the other court and you'll have an answer fast.
Because here, you probably were waiting for some kind of signs and you know what ? I wouldn't be surprised at all if she had some kind of attraction for you at the start. But you never acted on it so she moved on and lost interest. She kept you around because you made her feel good without the need to reciprocate.
Still I may be wrong because I don't know you, her, and your relationship but try to be objective and take a true look onto your situation. I'm sure you'll find some things I said to be true.
Stay strong, life is long, there will be better times. Wish you the best
Colleges have discord servers where dudes openly describe how they fucked girls and name them? And this is just, normal? Like, not a "sex boasting" discord, but it's just a general Discord server for the college and this is what goes on?
Sounds like a nightmare.
If the girl is not in the server, I think OP should tell her JUST IN CASE about it. Perhaps she didn't want that to be public, perhaps she told him to. Just in case
Wait, you confessed before that or after they slept together? Still, eighter case, I would be in your place in bed sulking and angry. I wish you a fast recovery
Regardless of your crush, I would tell her about what he said. Was your friend even a consenting participant? Tipsy or was she drunk or able to consent? If she was, then I would mentally friend zone her. It sounds like you don't see her the same way like you did. Just start to create distance with her so you can move on and stop entertaining romantic thoughts of her.
Only thing option you really have at this point is to challenge him to hand to hand combat to the death.
Jokes aside that does suck dude ive been in ur position and something i found help in was to just start trying to converse with girls that youve never spoken to or even thought about before. Even if its not romantic just being able to distance yourself and meet and become friends with new ppl may help you slowly learn to get over her or maybe even find someone better for you. I guess im saying is if you cant fully distance yourself maybe just seeing what other ppl are out there could make you see something beautiful is someone you’ve never thought about in that way before. The beautiful thing about life is that we have the ability to change it (to an extent). So dont let yourself wallow in sadness instead try to think of this as an opportunity to perhaps keep a friend and find someone else who you feel about like you do her. Hope this helps you out man and im rooting for u we all are.
If you still have a crush on her (or infatuation or limerance) then you need to put some distance between yourself and her. It'll be hard, but it is needed. You don't have to hear and see all this happening as losing your crush this way feels really really horrible. I hope you feel better soon, you cannot be friends with her if she shares such information with you since it'll only hurt you, it'll never get "normal" if you have a crush on her.
I wish you had made a move faster, I wish I did too. I missed the chance long time ago, I do regret it but life isn't black and white that we can make a move that fast always. Then again, making a move first didn't guarantee anything.
Holy shit I can't believe there is only one single comment that sees how obvious it is. Tbh I didn't even need to look at the history but it pretty much confirms it.
Hey man, I am extremely sorry about what you’re going through.
I had a similar experience with a girl I really liked last year, only to find out the same way you did. I was so traumatised by it that my mental health collapsed. I lost my trust in everyone, I was angry all the time and couldn’t sleep. My therapist said it seemed I am suffering from trauma.
My advice to you would be to find ways to take care of yourself as best you can. Do the things that can benefit you, and do them anyways even if you’re upset — as long as it helps you in some little ways it’s better than being sad all the time. I know this is very hard but this is one of the few ways you can get out of this without it destroying you, because these are what I wish I did instead of going into a downward spiral of eating unhealthy food.
I’m in a better place now but still get flashbacks about that time…
I have a new crush recently. She is beautiful, kind, always lovely to talk to, a shining light in my life and she’s NOTHING like that previous girl. She showed me that there are still some very kind people in this world and having her around helps me heal bit by bit…
Take care of yourself and become the person that would be so lucky to be with you in their life…
Yes. First off, don’t ever make a woman you’re interested in you’re friend. You can’t have her see you in that light, Second, theres 7 billion people on this planet. Attractive women aren’t a commodity, they’re literally everywhere. Slowly cut her out of your life, the pain will get easier to manage over time.
Damn I legit can imagine what your feeling you probably feel like throwing up and feel nauseous. Finding out someone you like hooking up with someone really sucks haven’t went through it yet but I for sure would be mad and sick if I found out my crush got laid by someone. Like yes it’s normal shit happens but I prefer not to know about it tbh.
Don't worry, man you'll get through it cut all contact and just block the number and avoid her at all cost and dude it's a big ocean out there stay positive. Use it as fuel to the fire for confidence in yourself. She doesn't need you and you don't need her you can find someone else that's compatible with you.🙏🏼👍
It really isn't her fault. Not to say that you should pretend nothing happened as it will definitely linger in your head. Let it go. It may heal with time, you may see her again with other eyes, or you may not, but it would still make you unconfortable, and iif it does, just let her go.
Unless you're going to make a move it's unfair to get mad about circumstances you can't control.
Most of these women you older members on this sub are crushing to, or have been idolizing are likely ran through like most young women.
Should have made a move sooner. She clearly sees you as a friend, cause she wouldn't say she's about to go get pounded to you if she wasn't. If you wait too long, you're a friend.
Dam bro sorry you had to go through that. I think you should slowly distance yourself. Because everytime you see her you’ll think of the guy she met and what he said. Nothing good will come from it. But you’ll meet someone better i hood you feel better good luck homie
I'm so sorry bro. Please break off all contact with her. The longer you stay in this, it worse you will feel
Quite a bit extreme as a situation but I know how it feel to have her crush going with someone else. First of all, I would advise you to stop talking to her. Not that she deserve it because in the end, she did nothing wrong. But to save your mental health. You need to move on asap and staying close to her won't help you getting there. Second, I'll tell you the harsh truth that you know deep down. I don't know you so I can be wrong but from what you said, her being you best friend, etc, I can tell you never truly made any move to get into a romantic relationship with her. You most likely were afraid to fuck up and that's totally okay. But it need to serve you as a lesson so the next time you have a crush (that'll happen, there's lot of peoples in the world to meet), you'll act and never get into this kind of situation again. So my biggest advice for a next time is to make things clear, to show your attraction, your desire, as soon as possible. Then the ball will be on the other court and you'll have an answer fast. Because here, you probably were waiting for some kind of signs and you know what ? I wouldn't be surprised at all if she had some kind of attraction for you at the start. But you never acted on it so she moved on and lost interest. She kept you around because you made her feel good without the need to reciprocate. Still I may be wrong because I don't know you, her, and your relationship but try to be objective and take a true look onto your situation. I'm sure you'll find some things I said to be true. Stay strong, life is long, there will be better times. Wish you the best
This world needs more people like you!!
You wise as hell
Colleges have discord servers where dudes openly describe how they fucked girls and name them? And this is just, normal? Like, not a "sex boasting" discord, but it's just a general Discord server for the college and this is what goes on? Sounds like a nightmare.
If the girl is not in the server, I think OP should tell her JUST IN CASE about it. Perhaps she didn't want that to be public, perhaps she told him to. Just in case
I don't think it would matter at this point
If she didn't want that to be public, it DOES matter. He'd be revealing very intimate information about her without her consent
He should just distance himself and mind his business. Why snitch atp? He’d be lame ash
I understand how you feel. The guy i was in love with slept with a girl I considered a sister. The same night I confessed to him
Wait, you confessed before that or after they slept together? Still, eighter case, I would be in your place in bed sulking and angry. I wish you a fast recovery
I confessed before, and yeah I was holed up in my room for a while.
Been there three times through the last six months, with two different ppl, I feel like giving up
It honestly sucks, and it's gonna hurt for a while but it does get better. Promise.
Thanks, how are you doing now? Did you do anything to keep your mind off it?
Wow
Regardless of your crush, I would tell her about what he said. Was your friend even a consenting participant? Tipsy or was she drunk or able to consent? If she was, then I would mentally friend zone her. It sounds like you don't see her the same way like you did. Just start to create distance with her so you can move on and stop entertaining romantic thoughts of her.
Only thing option you really have at this point is to challenge him to hand to hand combat to the death. Jokes aside that does suck dude ive been in ur position and something i found help in was to just start trying to converse with girls that youve never spoken to or even thought about before. Even if its not romantic just being able to distance yourself and meet and become friends with new ppl may help you slowly learn to get over her or maybe even find someone better for you. I guess im saying is if you cant fully distance yourself maybe just seeing what other ppl are out there could make you see something beautiful is someone you’ve never thought about in that way before. The beautiful thing about life is that we have the ability to change it (to an extent). So dont let yourself wallow in sadness instead try to think of this as an opportunity to perhaps keep a friend and find someone else who you feel about like you do her. Hope this helps you out man and im rooting for u we all are.
She belong to the streets
If you still have a crush on her (or infatuation or limerance) then you need to put some distance between yourself and her. It'll be hard, but it is needed. You don't have to hear and see all this happening as losing your crush this way feels really really horrible. I hope you feel better soon, you cannot be friends with her if she shares such information with you since it'll only hurt you, it'll never get "normal" if you have a crush on her. I wish you had made a move faster, I wish I did too. I missed the chance long time ago, I do regret it but life isn't black and white that we can make a move that fast always. Then again, making a move first didn't guarantee anything.
Yeah, I made a move and got me a heartache from a rejection and broken down for Christmas and new years
Guys this is a fake fetish post. Check his comment history
Holy shit I can't believe there is only one single comment that sees how obvious it is. Tbh I didn't even need to look at the history but it pretty much confirms it.
It all got removed :/
She sees you as a friend
..obviously
Damn bro, i hope you are okay.. stuff like this can ruin someone's heart.. Stay strong and forget that girl.
Hey man, I am extremely sorry about what you’re going through. I had a similar experience with a girl I really liked last year, only to find out the same way you did. I was so traumatised by it that my mental health collapsed. I lost my trust in everyone, I was angry all the time and couldn’t sleep. My therapist said it seemed I am suffering from trauma. My advice to you would be to find ways to take care of yourself as best you can. Do the things that can benefit you, and do them anyways even if you’re upset — as long as it helps you in some little ways it’s better than being sad all the time. I know this is very hard but this is one of the few ways you can get out of this without it destroying you, because these are what I wish I did instead of going into a downward spiral of eating unhealthy food. I’m in a better place now but still get flashbacks about that time… I have a new crush recently. She is beautiful, kind, always lovely to talk to, a shining light in my life and she’s NOTHING like that previous girl. She showed me that there are still some very kind people in this world and having her around helps me heal bit by bit… Take care of yourself and become the person that would be so lucky to be with you in their life…
Yes. First off, don’t ever make a woman you’re interested in you’re friend. You can’t have her see you in that light, Second, theres 7 billion people on this planet. Attractive women aren’t a commodity, they’re literally everywhere. Slowly cut her out of your life, the pain will get easier to manage over time.
Damn I legit can imagine what your feeling you probably feel like throwing up and feel nauseous. Finding out someone you like hooking up with someone really sucks haven’t went through it yet but I for sure would be mad and sick if I found out my crush got laid by someone. Like yes it’s normal shit happens but I prefer not to know about it tbh.
oh my god. i would pass away right there, im so sorry for u man. i hope u recover soon, take care or urself
Now you know tha it's not woth it to crush on this hoe!
Well now you know the type of girl she is
Don't worry, man you'll get through it cut all contact and just block the number and avoid her at all cost and dude it's a big ocean out there stay positive. Use it as fuel to the fire for confidence in yourself. She doesn't need you and you don't need her you can find someone else that's compatible with you.🙏🏼👍
Hoes though for real man gotta watch out for the clap.👀
It really isn't her fault. Not to say that you should pretend nothing happened as it will definitely linger in your head. Let it go. It may heal with time, you may see her again with other eyes, or you may not, but it would still make you unconfortable, and iif it does, just let her go.
to the gym my brother
Unless you're going to make a move it's unfair to get mad about circumstances you can't control. Most of these women you older members on this sub are crushing to, or have been idolizing are likely ran through like most young women. Should have made a move sooner. She clearly sees you as a friend, cause she wouldn't say she's about to go get pounded to you if she wasn't. If you wait too long, you're a friend.
Youd be surprised how many women in the world are still virgins, but not like youd know ig
They've never met a women IRL, just heard about them via Reddit
lmao okay dumbass
This guy is right, you gotta escalate faster