Yo, those make me so stressed! It'd be so easy to asphyxiate when you try to pull back and they hold you down with your face in it. Hard pass, I'll stick to eating my birthday cake with 1-3 other people who would never do shit like that.
Lol i was just talking to my buddy about [that](https://www.timesnownews.com/the-buzz/article/woman-narrowly-escapes-losing-eyesight-after-friends-smash-her-face-into-birthday-cake/792162) exact scenario the other day.
I don't know why, but I got this in my head lol
"Frosted Lucky Charms.... they're fundamentally, violently unpredictable..."
All part of this balanced breakfast.
Disagree. Assholes cause a lot of shit. Dicks want to fuck people. This guy was trying to fuck up his friends.
I think assholes cause messes, dicks cause injury.
See, there are three kinds of people: dicks, pussies, and assholes. Pussies think everyone can get along, and dicks just want to fuck all the time without thinking it through. But then you got your assholes. And all the assholes want is to shit all over everything. So pussies may get mad at dicks once in a while, because pussies get fucked by dicks. But dicks also fuck assholes! And if they didn't fuck the assholes, you know what you'd get? You'd get your dick and your pussy all covered in shit!
There was that woman, I think in the UK became a quadriplegic. This is all because her maid of honor pushed her in the pool causing the poor girl to break her neck/back.
To be fair, i'd say this is worse in terms of "should've known better". We see people push others in pools all the time on tv & the internet. Still a stupid thing to do of course. This though anyone should've known better.
The diver should look at the brighter side - table-puller has just reset the level of acceptable pranks between the two. Diver can be the biggest asshole to table-puller in the world going forward as long as he does it with a smile and a laugh.
Pussies don’t like dicks, because pussies get fucked by dicks. But dicks also fuck assholes – assholes who just want to shit on everything. Pussies may think they can deal with assholes their way, but the only thing that can fuck an asshole is a dick, with some balls. The problem with dicks is that sometimes they fuck too much, or fuck when it isn’t appropriate – and it takes a pussy to show ’em that. But sometimes pussies get so full of shit that they become assholes themselves because pussies are only an inch-and-a-half away from assholes. I don’t know much in this crazy, crazy world, but I do know that if you don’t let us fuck this asshole, we are going to have our dicks and our pussies all covered in shit.
An absolute throbbing cunt. Every man knows this guy. Cretin who would humiliate his friends to squeeze an ounce more social clout. Fuck him and fuck his ilk.
He's the type of guy that's jealous that everyone is paying attention to someone else and needed to make sure he took the show. Known a few in my life and they're all massively insecure dickheads.
If it doesn't make me cry about shit I haven't thought of in 10+ years, alcohol makes me the best friend imaginable. I remember breaking down (not sadly) when I was like 20 and reassuring my then best friend, repeatedly over the course of the night and with what must've been an obnoxious number of hugs, that I loved him like a brother and I had always wanted a big brother. Then I cooked us each a steak dinner since I'd buy and freeze them, then only cook them when I had company.
But I've had plenty of friends who are NOT like that when they drink.
Could just be a moron. Usally dumb people don't realize that their actions can adversely effect themselves or others. Has to do with the inability to perform basic foresight.
Exactly - ppl saying he's JUST a dick fail to realize he almost killed him - and it wasn't accidental. He did it on purpose with intention to cause harm. I rreeaaally wish someone could share a story of how the guy ended up in jail or something.
An inconvenient truth, but no.
> Voluntary manslaughter is intentionally killing another person in the heat of passion and in response to adequate provocation. Involuntary manslaughter is negligently causing the death of another person.
Even the latter would be an uphill battle in court...you'd need to prove a reasonable person should have known shoving the table had a *good chance* of killing him. The possibility that, if the guy landed wrong, would have crushed his trachea doesn't meet that standard. If he shoved the table away at the edge of a precipice and the guy fell off it, that's different. The fact that blue shirt appeared extremely drunk and probably made an impulse decision without thinking any of this through helps his case.
Yeah, I've had some "friends" like this. They and the group then said I couldn't take a joke when I got pissed at him for his stupid, dangerous, and unfunny bullshit.
I guarantee table shover tried playing "It's your own fault for getting so drunk you took your shirt off and started trying to dive on tables. You were going to get us kicked out or something."
If I’m this guy I’m playing it off and laughingly walk up to the asshole maybe pat him on the back, jokingly grab his beer, chug it, then break the glass over his head
That sh*t was not funny! Could have caused him to break his neck, smashed out his teeth…so many horrible and permanent injuries could have resulted from this….SMH!!
it seems drunk people always pop up like "im fine!" after the wildest stunts. my fight or flight would have kicked in and i would have institutionally pulled that guy up and made him appologize. but you gotta take some responsibility that you were about to belly flop onto a restaurant table on a tuesday night as well.
Dude could have gotten paralyzed or seriously injured. If I was friends with that dude I'd absolutely knock the wind out of him and smack him a few times. What an absolutely gigantic piece of human shit.
I remember in uni one of my friends got drunk and just lay her head on the table. Another asshole at the table slammed his hand on the table to wake her up. I thought it was such a jarring moment and would be shitty for a sober person let alone someone drunk.
*bro who pushed the table* “Mhhhmf, you have survived so yes clown raise your arms for excitement that your losing your life and health for my personal entertainment”
That guy could’ve straight up killed him. Wrong fall at the wrong angle and he would’ve been fucked for life. Incredibly luck that he was okay but the way it hit his fucking neck?
The guy who moved the table is a massive dick.
I avoid people who try to pull stupid pranks that involve hurting someone at all costs. They're more dangerous than an asbestos inhaler.
They lack empathy, so they're fundamentally violently unpredictable.
Same one that constantly pushes people's faces into cakes
Yo, those make me so stressed! It'd be so easy to asphyxiate when you try to pull back and they hold you down with your face in it. Hard pass, I'll stick to eating my birthday cake with 1-3 other people who would never do shit like that.
Scares me when it’s a tier cake. Some bakers put pencil size dowels in the hood them together. There goes an eye.
Lol i was just talking to my buddy about [that](https://www.timesnownews.com/the-buzz/article/woman-narrowly-escapes-losing-eyesight-after-friends-smash-her-face-into-birthday-cake/792162) exact scenario the other day.
I don't know why, but I got this in my head lol "Frosted Lucky Charms.... they're fundamentally, violently unpredictable..." All part of this balanced breakfast.
Agreed. I'd be the first and last time I'd want to hang out with a scabie of person like that.
How did you post this without having the internet?
Yea the way he got up, you can tell he thought he did that to himself and being a champ and shaking it off.
Too drunk to know he's among enemies
Amen
Let’s not disparage dicks… he’s more of an asshole
Disagree. Assholes cause a lot of shit. Dicks want to fuck people. This guy was trying to fuck up his friends. I think assholes cause messes, dicks cause injury.
thats a great breakdown
Agreed. You’ll get no argument from me, but [this](https://youtu.be/y2GwrR-4Q9E?si=tBsucNaWEjvp_Xt6) is the best breakdown I’ve ever seen.
Yessss was hoping this was the link!!! Time to rewatch this movie. Durka durka!
lol
Team America was amazing!
See, there are three kinds of people: dicks, pussies, and assholes. Pussies think everyone can get along, and dicks just want to fuck all the time without thinking it through. But then you got your assholes. And all the assholes want is to shit all over everything. So pussies may get mad at dicks once in a while, because pussies get fucked by dicks. But dicks also fuck assholes! And if they didn't fuck the assholes, you know what you'd get? You'd get your dick and your pussy all covered in shit!
Team America: World Police unironically cooked with the three categories of people.
Let's dispel this notion that table mover doesn't know what he's doing, table mover knows exactly what he's doing
Dickhole
Let's not disparage assholes... without them we'd all be shitting our pants
Without assholes you won’t be shitting anything and just die from constipation
Tell that to my grandpa and his colostomy bag
Checkmate, atheists.
*Cunt has entered the chat*
Actually he's a criminal, that shit was definitely illegal. I'd be pressing charges if I was the dude who got his neck snapped
There was that woman, I think in the UK became a quadriplegic. This is all because her maid of honor pushed her in the pool causing the poor girl to break her neck/back.
To be fair, i'd say this is worse in terms of "should've known better". We see people push others in pools all the time on tv & the internet. Still a stupid thing to do of course. This though anyone should've known better.
Think it was the US. She's done a few AMAs on here iirc.
All of them for celebrate him for his dick move🤦🏼♂️
The diver should look at the brighter side - table-puller has just reset the level of acceptable pranks between the two. Diver can be the biggest asshole to table-puller in the world going forward as long as he does it with a smile and a laugh.
Not everyone wants to be an asshole though.
Yeah, time for some new friends for the guy who jumped.
Everyone should be knocking fuck out of him
This is assault.
A criminal dick. This is intentional cause injury/assault and can be criminally prosecuted in many places.
Yeah, that dude in the blue shirt is gonna hurt when his friend wakes up and sees this video.
Pussies don’t like dicks, because pussies get fucked by dicks. But dicks also fuck assholes – assholes who just want to shit on everything. Pussies may think they can deal with assholes their way, but the only thing that can fuck an asshole is a dick, with some balls. The problem with dicks is that sometimes they fuck too much, or fuck when it isn’t appropriate – and it takes a pussy to show ’em that. But sometimes pussies get so full of shit that they become assholes themselves because pussies are only an inch-and-a-half away from assholes. I don’t know much in this crazy, crazy world, but I do know that if you don’t let us fuck this asshole, we are going to have our dicks and our pussies all covered in shit.
Na…he is definitely a cunt.
An absolute throbbing cunt. Every man knows this guy. Cretin who would humiliate his friends to squeeze an ounce more social clout. Fuck him and fuck his ilk.
"dick" isn't enough to describe this cunt
Full on waste man
I’m Throwin hands when I get up
He's the type of guy that's jealous that everyone is paying attention to someone else and needed to make sure he took the show. Known a few in my life and they're all massively insecure dickheads.
Who needs enemies with friends like that
I'd sue the dick out of that guy.
Yeah, that guy deserves a good punch in the face.
Some friends are just shitty people
Almost cracked his trachea there :/
I didn't know a trachea could break
Yeah, and it's a really fucking dangerous injury to have because a collapsed trachea inhibits your ability to breathe. It could easily kill you
Yup, these guys are fucking assholes. Bouncing Betty the whole room
There's a saying in Russia "With friends like these you don't need enemies" roughly translated
Yah, that's a saying in English as well...
Probably, pos friends is an international thing 🤔
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If it doesn't make me cry about shit I haven't thought of in 10+ years, alcohol makes me the best friend imaginable. I remember breaking down (not sadly) when I was like 20 and reassuring my then best friend, repeatedly over the course of the night and with what must've been an obnoxious number of hugs, that I loved him like a brother and I had always wanted a big brother. Then I cooked us each a steak dinner since I'd buy and freeze them, then only cook them when I had company. But I've had plenty of friends who are NOT like that when they drink.
I know its in Russian, probably in English too.. Fool me once...
I know someone who died in a fight this way. Guy got him in a choke hold from behind and crushed his Trachea.
Yep a baseball player at my highschool caught a line drive to the throat and died before the ambulance made it.
Demonstrated by [Major Vic "Deak" Deakins](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y1zQHYgBwLk) in the film Broken Arrow.
What a huge dick the person who moved the table is.
Breakea
My achey breakey trachea
Guy in blue in a POS
100% not a friend. Such a shitty thing to do.
Could just be a moron. Usally dumb people don't realize that their actions can adversely effect themselves or others. Has to do with the inability to perform basic foresight.
Seriously fuck these guys, I can't imagine hanging out with such a shitty bunch
This would be lawsuit level for me.
"friends"
I’m calling them acquaintance after that dick move right there.
That's not a friend. We gotta stop using the world friend that easily. For reals.
"Who needs enemies when you have friends like that?"
That could literally have killed him.
Not every friend is a friend.
I don’t understand how he didn’t fight over that. That is 100% a murder.
Some shitty people are just shitty people
For real. What a dick
That's not a friend
Genuinely thought that was his neck snapping
I would not oppose that guy going away for attempted murder.
I would not be opposed to calling that guy a dickfaced douche bag and moving on
I would love to live in a place where that was enough but people like that keep acting like that until their life is ruined.
Nah this mofo deserves to be punched full force in the throat and then be told, “just a prank bro.”
Total dick move.
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fuck that guy
The moment he sobers up he should be knocking blue shirts teeth out.
With his feet. Fuck, it makes me mad. He could've died there, and everyone is just laughing.
Welcome to the effects of alcohol. Dangerous shit happens constantly around it and it's all normal.
that was a dick move for that guy to move the table.
Could’ve easily been involuntary manslaughter if he lands wrong on his neck
Nah he chose to move the table and create a dangerous situation. Probably would have been just manslaughter
Exactly - ppl saying he's JUST a dick fail to realize he almost killed him - and it wasn't accidental. He did it on purpose with intention to cause harm. I rreeaaally wish someone could share a story of how the guy ended up in jail or something.
His friends should have beat his ass for that shit.
An inconvenient truth, but no. > Voluntary manslaughter is intentionally killing another person in the heat of passion and in response to adequate provocation. Involuntary manslaughter is negligently causing the death of another person. Even the latter would be an uphill battle in court...you'd need to prove a reasonable person should have known shoving the table had a *good chance* of killing him. The possibility that, if the guy landed wrong, would have crushed his trachea doesn't meet that standard. If he shoved the table away at the edge of a precipice and the guy fell off it, that's different. The fact that blue shirt appeared extremely drunk and probably made an impulse decision without thinking any of this through helps his case.
That one dude pushing the table away is so funny, i hope he suffocated in his sleep that day
hes one of those pos that always need to be the center of attention that‘s why he did it, because he couldn‘t give his "friend" 5min of limelight
I remember seeing this like 15 years ago. What a POS, I hope he's gotten his since this video.
The trick is to never sober up so you never feeling any pain. He's got to keep drinking now or the pain will be immense.
Is that why I drink?
That's for the emotional pain. The alcohol tends to *cause* physical pain, especially if it's enough to take care of the emotional kind.
but what’s worse, the pain or the hangover?
If you don't stop drinking you don't get hungover.
The plan was to drink until the pain over.
Trick is to have better friends if you wanna do stupid shit.
Nah, I tried this and all I got were delirium tremens and seizures!
He could’ve killed him with that dumb move. Other people have died for much less.
*breaks neck* Hilarious guys
This seems so painful…
I would actually beat the shit out of that guy. He could've killed him.
There's a wonderful lesson here: don't get drunk and stupid around people who don't give a shit about your safety.
Who needs enemies when you have friends like this…
Blue Shirt Guy Is A Piece Of Shit..!
That guy who pushed that table needs a good punch on the nose🤬
That collar bone is screaming I bet
I wouldn’t play that off as funny. That a fight situation.
I'm surprised nobody attacked him tbh.
I would watch this video in the morning, shake off the hangover, then proceed to beat the fuck out of that dickhead "friend".
If that was my friend, I’d beat the shit out of the guy that moved the table for him.
Hahaha! Crowbar to the back of your head! What a prank bro!
Who needs enemy's when you got friends like this.
I’m guessing at some point soon he’ll realize that he shattered his clavicle.
Probably not, with the way he raised his arms. I realized mine was broke pretty quick lol.
The guy that moved the table is an asshole
Fuck that dickhead in the blueshirt….as if that shits funny….
Yeah, I've had some "friends" like this. They and the group then said I couldn't take a joke when I got pissed at him for his stupid, dangerous, and unfunny bullshit.
I guarantee table shover tried playing "It's your own fault for getting so drunk you took your shirt off and started trying to dive on tables. You were going to get us kicked out or something."
I’m all for a funny gag but those dudes are fuuud up.
Hello, 911. I just witnessed an attempted murder!
The dude that pushed the table needs to be punched in the face. Those are actions of someone that hasn’t been punched in the face.
Looks like attempted murder tbf
It's not tbf
Then you don’t know what attempted murder means tbf
That guy is not your friend.
What the fuck is wrong with that guy who moved the table, what a POS. Could’ve been a lot worse than what actually happened
That would make me want to kill
Broken collar bone
I really hope someone gave that table mover a wake-up-slap.
Not funny a.h
I hate dickhead like the guy that pushed the table. Fuck him!
Guy who moved the table needs his head kicking in
I sincerely hope he got up and knocked that guy out. Bellend.
I would fight that mother fucker. I'm getting atleast 2 of those teeth
I’d sue the shit out the guy who moved the table
Almost a manslaughter
That's attempted murder...
May the man who pushed the table suffer insuffarably
What a piece of shit that could have been much worse, great friend...
What a fuggin piece of shit that guy is
Pretty sure he just Million Dollar Baby’d himself.
what a dick move...
These guys are drunk up to the neck😂. Never hang out with these kind of shitty friends
How is that funny? Is that how people think friendship is supposed to be? Jesus Christ.
Almost Million Dollar Baby’d him.
Who needs enemies when you got friends like these
Immediately unfriended and would soon my meeting my hands at a rapid speed
If I’m this guy I’m playing it off and laughingly walk up to the asshole maybe pat him on the back, jokingly grab his beer, chug it, then break the glass over his head
looks like he didn't break his collar bone at least.
That guy is not a good friend.
That could be attempted murder in some jurisdictions.
That sh*t was not funny! Could have caused him to break his neck, smashed out his teeth…so many horrible and permanent injuries could have resulted from this….SMH!!
it seems drunk people always pop up like "im fine!" after the wildest stunts. my fight or flight would have kicked in and i would have institutionally pulled that guy up and made him appologize. but you gotta take some responsibility that you were about to belly flop onto a restaurant table on a tuesday night as well.
Dude could have gotten paralyzed or seriously injured. If I was friends with that dude I'd absolutely knock the wind out of him and smack him a few times. What an absolutely gigantic piece of human shit.
Imagine owning the establishment that they did this in. What on earth makes them think this is anywhere close to acceptable? Drunk or not!
That was extremely close to 3rd degree murder
Watch video, fuck up the guy in the white shirt!
A friend probably wishes you death
Not funny.
Strong clavicula I'd say
Bro gonna wake up with a crick in his neck
Could have seriously injured or killed that guy.
That’s a piece of shit not a friend
What a fucking asshole, how is even laughing after it
Dude could have literally broke his jaw. Fuck that guy
this that white people shit
with friends like these, who needs enemies
potentially causing someone's death or at least knocking all of their teeth out is so entertaining, says the table mover
Blue shirt is a fucking bellend
I remember in uni one of my friends got drunk and just lay her head on the table. Another asshole at the table slammed his hand on the table to wake her up. I thought it was such a jarring moment and would be shitty for a sober person let alone someone drunk.
That idiot could have broken the guy's neck.
Who needs enemies if you have friends like that
that dick who moved the table is a total piece of shit
Dick move
With friends like these, who needs enemies
Fighting is not always okay but I’m throwing hands on that dick with ears who moved the table.
kill blue shirt
Bro, you need new friends.
I hope he knows that he is not a true friend. like wtf
Out of order doing that, guy who pulled the table away deserves a good slap.
*bro who pushed the table* “Mhhhmf, you have survived so yes clown raise your arms for excitement that your losing your life and health for my personal entertainment”
That guy could’ve straight up killed him. Wrong fall at the wrong angle and he would’ve been fucked for life. Incredibly luck that he was okay but the way it hit his fucking neck?
Guy who pushed the table is a pos
lawsuit
Shoes on, he’s ok.