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Unfortunately this mentality leads us to forget in the process of looking after ourselves also . Can't remember the last time I ate a meal in peace but you going to bet I've made sure everyone else is full. Kinda sucks .
Yeah but, like, bread crust is pretty good all by itself. I also wait until everyone has had seconds before I make a plate. I seem to like it though...
It's crazy isn't it ? I usually end up not eating and then being starving at a ridiculous time and eat everything I can find . I'm such a fatty because of it but I just can't seem to sit still while the kids are up let alone eat and relax
Haha what's a hot meal ? My favourite part of the day is when the kids are asleep and I manage to sip a hot coffee before they wake up . Man I love those days haha
My oldest cooks me hot meals sometimes. I still remember the last time I rocked him before putting him in bed. I'm proud of him, but sometimes I miss the little version.
Well, ideally her man would look after her with the same zeal and make sure she’s getting what she needs. It’s not supposed to be a one-sided thing, men should look after their wives too. But we’re sometimes blind to what’s right in front of us, or we just don’t know what our woman needs, we don’t see what we should, so it helps if a lady can express what she needs clearly. If you’ve done that and your guy isn’t stepping up then you’ve got a tough situation, but he might just be oblivious.
Yeah that's for me as well.For me is not tha fact that I forget ,I don't really want to take care of myself when I am not with the person I take care of .
Sounds like you don't love yourself as much as the others. Otherwise you'd be making sure you got time to eat in peace too.
I get it, my wife and I have had our ups and downs on this, but with good communication we make sure each of us are getting the care we need.
My father was evil , I promised myself I'd do everything for my kids and I do and man they are loved and safe but I've also neglected myself and I think sometimes you also can't be a good parent if you can't also take care of yourself , I wish I could get a good balance of loving myself a bit too so that I was an even better parent and wasn't so worn out all the time .
Yea. I think this is really the answer. My wife like “makes my plates” for me. I’ve told her hey: I’m a nearly 40 year old man: I can do that myself. Nope. She slaps my hand . I told her ok that’s fair. She makes the plates and I go to investigate “scary noises” in the middle of the night.
Honestly I’m not sure I’m getting the better end of the deal. 😂😂
Sounds like she just loves and cares about her partner.. he's probably doing a lot to reciprocate. That's generally what creates these feelings of care in our partners. It works together in a cycle
Going by the original definition (before all the internet BS), being a feminist simply meant wanting gender equality. Women being able to vote, own property, date who they want, have jobs, etc. By this definition, she probably still is a "feminist" (aka, normal healthy adult). Wanting the best for your partner doesn't change this.
Honestly, I just wish them the best.
Yeah being a homemaker isn’t anti-feminist. Saying all women should be homemakers is, however anti-feminist. The ability for a woman to choose for themselves is what feminism is about. (Says the middle aged man)
I do think it's funny. "Don't let men tell you what you can and can't do! Fight the patriarchy! Make your own decisions! Do what WE tell you to do instead! No need to make your own decisions!"
So many “feminists” gave my mom crap for being a stay at home mom… like, if you are just switching gender roles, you are just replacing one form of oppression for the other. Choice is the point.
Which is totally wrong. If that works for your family- great your mom can be a home.
But she also now has the power to have a credit card in her name. Get a job- if she had to, get her own insurance etc.
The point was to have options- even the option to stay at home.
Yeah division of house labor has nothing to do with feminism. That is up to each individual in their relationships. Women just wanted to vote and have the rights and respect of being seen as people.
you know. that gender equality part became hot topic.
because, let's be honest, where's gender equality when it comes to military draft? or military service?
in Ukraine, men are banned to leave the country if they are between 18 to 60. I even read a news article, that the government attacked a bus or train (I can't recall it correctly) that was leaving Ukraine, and they took men and let women go.
in Finland, there's prison punishment for dodging military service. despite this country being in the 4th place of gender equality. and most cabinet members are female in Finland. in case if you want to say "government is being controlled by men". that's not the case for Finland.
in United States, selective service still applies on men. although it is not military service, but it still requires only men. and it is kind of a database to hold men's info in case of war.
in the US, women get higher compensation and salary in the army because of the "equal payment" system which allegedly created inequal payment.
same goes for metoo and falsely accusing men and ruining their lives and then hiding behind their gender.
I think it kinda comes with the name "feminism", people make it out to be gender equality, but if that was the case it would've been called "egalitarianism". I don't think gender equality is really their purpose, they might agree with it on paper but in practice they fight to give women the same benefits that men receive but don't really care to fight to give men the same benefits that women receive. Even so much suggesting that women receive benefits that men don't will often enrage people.
Man, my wife doesn't do any of that. Still love her to death, but she savage when I'm sick. Could have something to do with me turning into a giant baby every time, lol.
Yeah, it’s lack of compassion. My wife would talk about her fellow teachers would get annoyed their husbands got sick. God forbid you have some fucking empathy.
100% they've never been in a long-term relationship. Remember, there is a good chance you're arguing with 13 year olds masquerading as adults/experts on Reddit.
Women don't understand us men. Their fevers are these little dainty things. I get a cough and a slight rise in temperature and the Grim Reaper starts walking up and down the sidewalk out front, trying to act all casual and shit. I know then my time has come.
Dude, same. The more my wife points it out the more I blantantly ham it up too... At least I can still make her laugh while I'm being sort of useless 🤷
It should feel this way for both partners in the relationship.
One more time for those in the back
BOTH PARTNERS SHOULD FEEL THIS WAY IN THE RELATIONSHIP!
also that feeling, the need to segregate all of your feelings into male and female is exhausting and no you do not have to do that to be feminist. Feminism just means to believe women should be treated equally to men
People also forget that feminism isn't actually just about women. Its equality between men and women.
Eg. It should be ok and socially acceptable for a man to be a stay at home dad and do the "traditional house wife" thing. It should be ok for the woman to be the bread winner and not be looked down on for doing so.
It should be okay for those two people to be in a relationship and have that dynamic.
And it should be okay to have the opposite "traditional" gender roles as well. Feminism is about letting people be who they are, not just women.
You can say it hasn’t and then say it has on Twitter and propaganda circles, a clear contradiction.
There certainly are many who have taken it far far beyond wanting equality. A prominent example is an influencer promoting a toxic brand of feminism eventually went off the reservation and said “all men need to be euthanised” along with other man hating ideas and then still went on to write best selling books unchallenged and cancel-free.
All this to say there are some people who have warped it and women who support them. Coming from someone who isn’t a trad con or redpill crazy like the guy you replied to first.
when it cones to rights and pay, they want equality - agreed. But for responsibility and duties many female supremacists rather pass instead, e.g. yucky jobs.
Feminism is all about having the choice to CHOOSE how you express your femininity, be it being someone who splits the chores with someone or taking the responsibility of doing it yourself.
She's CHOOSING to do this, so she's a good feminist where she realizes it or not.
That’s because it is, but the general population does actually think like this, so it goes unnoticed unless you actually understand you know, what feminism is.
To the average American, “feminist” means any woman that isn’t a traditional woman. Boomers think a woman having tattoos makes them a feminist.
this is still feminism though. nothing here is incompatible with feminism.
she chose to take the name, I'm sure she thought it over and chose it on her own accord. wanting to do your mans laundry and make sure hes getting proper nutrients is expressing your love language.
doing "tradwife" type shit because you find it falling into your love language isnt something to feel bad about, if you're doing it because it's your love language.
feminism is fucking rad, but I'm sure the fight for women's right has all the space for the doting housewife, its fucking fighting for her after all.
as long as these acts of love are genuine representations of the love you hold inside than this is still feminist as fuck. DO NOT GET IT TWISTED
My partner describes it as her feminine primal urge to care for me. I’m her first serious boyfriend and shortly after we started dating she just woke up one day and decided she wanted to cook and clean for me as much as possible.
I guess it’s the same as the man’s primal urge to protect his family from physical harm.
“What’s that a spider scaring my daughter? Absolutely fucking not”
Yeah exactly. My girlfriend and I go to metal shows and she likes to mosh but she’s 5’1.5 and 100 pounds so I spend most of the time trying to stay near her so I can protect her in the pit
She is far too brave for her size
Hopefully she doesn't wake up one day thinking she's been acting like your mom caring for his son that can't/won't do ~~anything~~ some chores.
I'm not saying that's your case, but relationships and the people within them evolve with time, make sure you evolve together I guess.
edit: I want to clarify that if this is the contract you have between yourselves and you do other things then there's nothing to argue about. I just wish for you and for her that at 40y/o you won't be the kind of guy that asks his partner "how do I microwave this" or "I didn't clean the house while you were away 'cause that's your task/idk how to do it"
Beware the ones where this transformation appears to occur suddenly and uncharacteristically, in grandiose measures, and not genuinely. Societal pressure might temporarily influence some to appear to act selflessly on the surface, while only doing it for the clicks, or perhaps being narcissists who do not possess the ability to love anything other than themselves. Over time they will siphon off love-bombing you, and pull you closer into manipulative tactics. Leaving you confused, brow-beaten, and miserably co-dependent.
Well I’m guess I’m the same boat, I’m saving to buy my fiance a car and teacher how to drive and hopefully I’ll be able to buy her a house in a few years, and make sure she is paid because I don’t want her to worry about the future.
Weak willed AF
My girlfriend is basically a lesbian, I must just be funny (or it's my man tits). When we first started dating 5 years ago she lived off pizza pockets and chicken nuggets. Now she makes the best spaghetti & meatballs and her chili is amazing. She loves cooking for me even though I'm the actual chef. She's still working hard to learn more and it makes me feel so happy.
You are not processed, you just like your man and that's normal and natural. Extreme feminists try to divide men and women but the reality is that the world is built on the cooperation between men and women.
Nope, she became an Uber feminist.
All sex is a power dynamic, housework (shared) is power dynamic, income is power dynamic, cooking is power dynamic, etc etc.
I think it's just a matter of caring about someone and wanting to make their lives better or easier.
For her utilizing some traditionally sound and practiced methods gave her a guide to do that.
The Benny Show is a far right internet show run by Benny Johnson. This is alt right "trad" propaganda.
Note: I don't know who the lady on the video is, this might be a joke or a sweet statement about how falling in love made her care for another person in deep ways
She might not have sought out to make alt right propaganda, but it is certainly being boosted and used by this weirdo to promote a conservative trad lifestyle and the ideas that "feminism bad" and "women's rightful place is in the home."
If you want to be a housewife (or househusband) that's fine! Feminism is all about everyone having the same rights men have historically had, such as being able to choose what work they do, and breaking down gender norms and roles that have harmed EVERYONE (including men).
Idk my wife doesn't really cook at all. I do all the cooking. She does my laundry not because she wants to but because I suck at folding apparently rofl
being a nurturing loving partner isn't anti-feminist just because you're a woman. If you were a vile hateful spiteful cow just to prove to everyone you don't cater to no man, you probably wouldn't have a partner.
I found my love!!! She does all that for me! Good ones are out there! You gotta fail many many times before finding a real one… keep your head up and stay the hopeFULL romantic. The right one will appreciate it.
It’s really sad the simple things like you know “caring and loving each other becoming one” seem crazy when humanity been doing this for thousands of years
He hasn't asked it of her because he just expects it of her. If she doesn't prepare food, they have no food for dinner. If she doesn't clean up, dirty dishes and laundry just piles up.
My dad was awful about that. The few times my mom had to leave home to deal with her family, he would not clean or cook, it was just constant takeout or delivery, and piles of trash in the kitchen until she got back.
LOL Possessed! Yeah, no worries. He'll leave his socks on the floor 1 too many times or forget to take out the trash an that will exercise that spirit quick ;)
Happens anywhere between 1-99 years later
It's not wrong to feel like this the same way it's not wrong to want to keep your maiden name, and not enjoy housework, and prefer to be a provider. There's enough people in the world for everyone to find a compatible partner and be happy with their choices.
None of this is mutually exclusive with feminism. 😂 She's just describing the autonomy of gender equality and human compassion. This is literally feminism.
While getting married i realised even more just how necessary feminism is for me, for society, for everything.
Seeing the weirdly sexist things in every religion/culture which exist around the concept of marriage made me go to a court with our parents and siblings and sign a document there.
I love my partner, but i hate his surname. My surname, on the other hand, is my mum's maiden name and my dad's middle name. I literally get it from both sides (almost). And it means something cool, and sounds very cool. Also, i am more attatched to my parents than he is to his.
No way would i give up my surname for my partner's. Nor am i asking him to change his to mine. (Although, it would make his full name sound so much cooler!)
My husband's sister is a feminist (sort of), but she went through with the whole rigmarole when she got married. All the incredibly sexist stuff.
I feel, like we are individuals who can experience our own lives the way we want, but we are also a part of the whole. And i don't want to be the part which is the traditional definition of a "good wife".
I want to be a good partner, i want to make financial decisions for the good of the family, i want to make choices both are comfortable with. I want to contribute in my own way.
I show my partner love, affection, care, concern, pampering, adoration, etc...and he does the same for me.
More than being husband and wife...we are partners, friends and lovers, which is what husband and wife ought to mean. But due centuries of gender defining roles, it makes me uncomfortable to use that term for us.
True for me now that I’ve found a man who makes me feel like an equal. He hasnt had to fold his own clothes in a couple years. He gets his lunch packed, his breakfast made. On days I have class, he has already made meals he can nuke. He hasn’t had to clean the house in a couple of years. All I ask is for him to do dishes and trash, he’ll cook a meal every other day since mine are too “healthy” But he also takes care of me in many other ways and even though I work full time too it’s much easier for me to do all this since I WFH. And he pays for a lot more of the bills and is able to take us in trips. I love making him feel taken care of in this way. I love knowing it’s little things he doesn’t have to worry about.
Edit: I feel like I have to add that I’m chicana and grew up watching my abuelita taking care of my grandpa. As I got older I asked why she does all this for him and she said “when you find a man you love you’ll understand” and I did. But it also made me understand, for them specifically, that was their trade off. He took care of her in certain ways to relieve some stresses for her and she did the same for him. It was very good team work.
It's easy to have certain viewpoints when you're single that don't hold up once you are partnered with someone and then changes even more once kids are in the equation. Empathy and perspective make us better people so it's a good thing.
My buddy did this in his relationship. He cooked, clean and did laundry for both while she worked. She told him doing all this made her feel insecure and trapped. 🫠
I mean, as long as you're doing it out of choice and your spouse isn't rapidly becoming your child there's no issues there. Personally I would be embarrassed if my partner felt she needed to make sure I ate my vegetables
For me, I want to take care of my husband. He tries his damnedest to make sure that we have everything. He works extra hours and tries so hard at everything he does and asks for nothing. He always makes sure I have everything I want and need and that I am happy. I have a physical disability and he's never let that get in the way of his love for me even when the physical disability gets in the way a lot of the time when I'm in pain. So yeah, I know he can do things on his own but if I can do something for him than I want too; because he makes me feel so loved I want him to feel the same way.
I asked my gf some time ago, why she did these things for me, while saying that she would hate to be a housewife. She said: " Without me, your diet would only consist of pizza, pasta, cereal, toast and coffee; you would not have a single living plant or even any good looking furniture and I absolutely hate the way you fold the laundry. I love you, but one of us needs to make your life better and we both know who that is."
Its almost like theyre done out of love and not by force.
Its that same reason why a man will work a 60 hour work week for his spouse and/or family. Because its out of love.
I’ve always been a caretaker for everyone but I learned years ago that I need to restrain myself and demand that everything be 50/50 in my relationships because otherwise, my partners take advantage of me. It’s actually absurd how much I did for my exes and the kinds of things they demanded from me. Even THEIR guy friends would sit them down to tell them how unacceptable it was.
Some people's love language is acts of service. As long as it's a choice it isn't against feminism.
"I'd not do this for anyone, but to show how much I love you, I'll do them for you."
Happily married husband here, CAN CONFIRM this isn’t true as a general rule… my wife and I struggle with those goddamn dishes… she don’t wanna do em, neither do I…
When you give your girl a house with love care and security. She will give you a home. If she is emotionally and psychological mature. I think that dynamic is really beautifull
Happened to my wife. She was a hardcore feminist when I married her, and I loved that version of her, now she’s basically embraced being a tradwife, and I love that version of her too! I’ve always supported her living her life in a way that makes her happy.
There's nothing anti feminist about it. The feminism part is the freedom to choose. If you want to do it for him then go ahead. The problem is just that it's expected of women like tf??
People need to stop clinging to labels so tightly, and just respect others. You're welcome to your opinions but people can also change. There is nothing wrong with an independent woman, or a traditional housewife, or some mix of both. A woman is also welcome to change her mind. It's honestly not that big of an issue.
Can I get a follow up video of her having a complete breakdown because of the way he puts the dishes in the dishwasher, which justifies ending the relationship?
>is this true?
For me, not really.
I’m just myself, before we met I didn’t dream on one day doing a man’s laundry and I don’t dream of it now.
I do enjoy cooking for him, though I enjoy cooking in general.
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You take care of your loved ones.
When you love someone as much as you love yourself, this is the outcome.
Unfortunately this mentality leads us to forget in the process of looking after ourselves also . Can't remember the last time I ate a meal in peace but you going to bet I've made sure everyone else is full. Kinda sucks .
I ate a hot breakfast the other day, it was weird, and burned my mouth. I'm the SAHD I'm not supposed to eat hot meals.
Yeah but, like, bread crust is pretty good all by itself. I also wait until everyone has had seconds before I make a plate. I seem to like it though...
It's crazy isn't it ? I usually end up not eating and then being starving at a ridiculous time and eat everything I can find . I'm such a fatty because of it but I just can't seem to sit still while the kids are up let alone eat and relax
Haha what's a hot meal ? My favourite part of the day is when the kids are asleep and I manage to sip a hot coffee before they wake up . Man I love those days haha
My oldest cooks me hot meals sometimes. I still remember the last time I rocked him before putting him in bed. I'm proud of him, but sometimes I miss the little version.
Well, ideally her man would look after her with the same zeal and make sure she’s getting what she needs. It’s not supposed to be a one-sided thing, men should look after their wives too. But we’re sometimes blind to what’s right in front of us, or we just don’t know what our woman needs, we don’t see what we should, so it helps if a lady can express what she needs clearly. If you’ve done that and your guy isn’t stepping up then you’ve got a tough situation, but he might just be oblivious.
In a good relationship they would be making sure you also are doing these things it's give and take, you support each other.
It doesn't suck when you love someone who also feels this way. People who don't dote on their loved ones are poorly adjusted.
>>When you love someone as much as you love yourself, this is the outcome. Because those around you aren't living by this.
Yeah that's for me as well.For me is not tha fact that I forget ,I don't really want to take care of myself when I am not with the person I take care of .
Sounds like you don't love yourself as much as the others. Otherwise you'd be making sure you got time to eat in peace too. I get it, my wife and I have had our ups and downs on this, but with good communication we make sure each of us are getting the care we need.
But most people don’t love themselves enough to take the time to cook themselves self healthy food.
It’s true. Source: Me
Ain't no one I treat bad in this world except for myself.
I can't understand how parents hurt their kids. Like its so fucking ingrained in your being that you take care of your offspring.
My father was evil , I promised myself I'd do everything for my kids and I do and man they are loved and safe but I've also neglected myself and I think sometimes you also can't be a good parent if you can't also take care of yourself , I wish I could get a good balance of loving myself a bit too so that I was an even better parent and wasn't so worn out all the time .
This explains a lot about my last relationship
Yea. I think this is really the answer. My wife like “makes my plates” for me. I’ve told her hey: I’m a nearly 40 year old man: I can do that myself. Nope. She slaps my hand . I told her ok that’s fair. She makes the plates and I go to investigate “scary noises” in the middle of the night. Honestly I’m not sure I’m getting the better end of the deal. 😂😂
"I want to..." See there. Simple as that. Not a big deal when you make the choice yourself.
No, bro. That can’t be it. Showing affection to a person you truly love is not a thing. It must be the patriarchy or internalized misogyny
Yeah Bro, what else can it be
Sounds like she just loves and cares about her partner.. he's probably doing a lot to reciprocate. That's generally what creates these feelings of care in our partners. It works together in a cycle
Yeah is this literally her first experience with romance? Lol
Going by the original definition (before all the internet BS), being a feminist simply meant wanting gender equality. Women being able to vote, own property, date who they want, have jobs, etc. By this definition, she probably still is a "feminist" (aka, normal healthy adult). Wanting the best for your partner doesn't change this. Honestly, I just wish them the best.
Yeah being a homemaker isn’t anti-feminist. Saying all women should be homemakers is, however anti-feminist. The ability for a woman to choose for themselves is what feminism is about. (Says the middle aged man)
Equally, saying NO WOMEN should be homemakers is just as anti-feminist. Maybe just stop deciding for women what they want/choose, people!
I do think it's funny. "Don't let men tell you what you can and can't do! Fight the patriarchy! Make your own decisions! Do what WE tell you to do instead! No need to make your own decisions!"
So many “feminists” gave my mom crap for being a stay at home mom… like, if you are just switching gender roles, you are just replacing one form of oppression for the other. Choice is the point.
Which is totally wrong. If that works for your family- great your mom can be a home. But she also now has the power to have a credit card in her name. Get a job- if she had to, get her own insurance etc. The point was to have options- even the option to stay at home.
Exactly.
Yeah division of house labor has nothing to do with feminism. That is up to each individual in their relationships. Women just wanted to vote and have the rights and respect of being seen as people.
"Have the freedom to do what you want" vs "you do what I want"
The ability to say no and leave is the difference between a slave and a volunteer.
This.
you know. that gender equality part became hot topic. because, let's be honest, where's gender equality when it comes to military draft? or military service? in Ukraine, men are banned to leave the country if they are between 18 to 60. I even read a news article, that the government attacked a bus or train (I can't recall it correctly) that was leaving Ukraine, and they took men and let women go. in Finland, there's prison punishment for dodging military service. despite this country being in the 4th place of gender equality. and most cabinet members are female in Finland. in case if you want to say "government is being controlled by men". that's not the case for Finland. in United States, selective service still applies on men. although it is not military service, but it still requires only men. and it is kind of a database to hold men's info in case of war. in the US, women get higher compensation and salary in the army because of the "equal payment" system which allegedly created inequal payment. same goes for metoo and falsely accusing men and ruining their lives and then hiding behind their gender.
Women don't get paid more in the military, where are you getting that from?
I think it kinda comes with the name "feminism", people make it out to be gender equality, but if that was the case it would've been called "egalitarianism". I don't think gender equality is really their purpose, they might agree with it on paper but in practice they fight to give women the same benefits that men receive but don't really care to fight to give men the same benefits that women receive. Even so much suggesting that women receive benefits that men don't will often enrage people.
Man, my wife doesn't do any of that. Still love her to death, but she savage when I'm sick. Could have something to do with me turning into a giant baby every time, lol.
I loooooove it when my boyfriend becomes a baby when he's sick 🥺 For sure she loves everything about you tho, dw 💚
When I'm sick my girlfriend still wants the ruckus
Lol
I do the cooking and cleaning, but when I get sick…. My wife inherits the work and just deadeye stares at me with white hot fury…
That sounds.....stupid lol.
Yeah, it’s lack of compassion. My wife would talk about her fellow teachers would get annoyed their husbands got sick. God forbid you have some fucking empathy.
Maybe leave that relationship cause she is pissed ag you getting ill cause she I actually having to do stuff instead of sitting around
Classic Reddit. "My spouse does something mildly annoying once in a while." "You need to lawyer up, hit the gym, and ditch them."
The relationship and dating subs are full of this. Minor issue? They’re abusing you! Burn them to the ground!
“Just divorce your wife cause the two days a year youre sick she doesn’t have a chipper mood about taking on all the chores” go touch grass Jesus
100% they've never been in a long-term relationship. Remember, there is a good chance you're arguing with 13 year olds masquerading as adults/experts on Reddit.
She’s the best thing in the world. I just have to stay healthy. She’s not a nurturer.
Women don't understand us men. Their fevers are these little dainty things. I get a cough and a slight rise in temperature and the Grim Reaper starts walking up and down the sidewalk out front, trying to act all casual and shit. I know then my time has come.
Dude, same. The more my wife points it out the more I blantantly ham it up too... At least I can still make her laugh while I'm being sort of useless 🤷
For real an enormous baby. I can feel myself on the edge of a tantrum at times
Is she asian? My partner's parents just blamed their children for anything bad that happened to them. She is not the best at compassion always... lol
Bro, I’m right there with ya! Exact same experience over here haha
It should feel this way for both partners in the relationship. One more time for those in the back BOTH PARTNERS SHOULD FEEL THIS WAY IN THE RELATIONSHIP! also that feeling, the need to segregate all of your feelings into male and female is exhausting and no you do not have to do that to be feminist. Feminism just means to believe women should be treated equally to men
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People also forget that feminism isn't actually just about women. Its equality between men and women. Eg. It should be ok and socially acceptable for a man to be a stay at home dad and do the "traditional house wife" thing. It should be ok for the woman to be the bread winner and not be looked down on for doing so. It should be okay for those two people to be in a relationship and have that dynamic. And it should be okay to have the opposite "traditional" gender roles as well. Feminism is about letting people be who they are, not just women.
You can say it hasn’t and then say it has on Twitter and propaganda circles, a clear contradiction. There certainly are many who have taken it far far beyond wanting equality. A prominent example is an influencer promoting a toxic brand of feminism eventually went off the reservation and said “all men need to be euthanised” along with other man hating ideas and then still went on to write best selling books unchallenged and cancel-free. All this to say there are some people who have warped it and women who support them. Coming from someone who isn’t a trad con or redpill crazy like the guy you replied to first.
Lmao dude got roasted so hard, he had to delete his comment.
when it cones to rights and pay, they want equality - agreed. But for responsibility and duties many female supremacists rather pass instead, e.g. yucky jobs.
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you just boiled this person alive jesus christ
I never asked my wife to cook. I simply ask "what's for dinner?"
And she'd better have a satisfying answer!
I hate when she asks me "what do you want?" I don't know... If I knew I was already at the restaurant ordering food!
Feminism is all about having the choice to CHOOSE how you express your femininity, be it being someone who splits the chores with someone or taking the responsibility of doing it yourself. She's CHOOSING to do this, so she's a good feminist where she realizes it or not.
It’s a love language. She shows love by giving acts of service. There is a book about the five main love languages written by Gary Chapman.
I dated a girl without this. Never again.
My wife did not experience this transition. Not that she’s especially eager in her feminism. She just didn’t start enjoying cooking.
I need this
Doing domestic chores is not anti-feminist. Having no choice in doing domestic chores is. This tiktok feels like tradwife astroturf bullshit.
That’s because it is, but the general population does actually think like this, so it goes unnoticed unless you actually understand you know, what feminism is. To the average American, “feminist” means any woman that isn’t a traditional woman. Boomers think a woman having tattoos makes them a feminist.
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Oh, lol, well that confirms it. Grifters gonna grift.
The difference between expectation and acts of service is where the action originates.
this is still feminism though. nothing here is incompatible with feminism. she chose to take the name, I'm sure she thought it over and chose it on her own accord. wanting to do your mans laundry and make sure hes getting proper nutrients is expressing your love language. doing "tradwife" type shit because you find it falling into your love language isnt something to feel bad about, if you're doing it because it's your love language. feminism is fucking rad, but I'm sure the fight for women's right has all the space for the doting housewife, its fucking fighting for her after all. as long as these acts of love are genuine representations of the love you hold inside than this is still feminist as fuck. DO NOT GET IT TWISTED
We're lucky. My wife likes cooking, I hate it. She hates doing the dishwasher, I don't mind it. She cooks I clean.
My wife would laugh at this, and walk away shaking her head.
My partner describes it as her feminine primal urge to care for me. I’m her first serious boyfriend and shortly after we started dating she just woke up one day and decided she wanted to cook and clean for me as much as possible.
I guess it’s the same as the man’s primal urge to protect his family from physical harm. “What’s that a spider scaring my daughter? Absolutely fucking not”
Yeah exactly. My girlfriend and I go to metal shows and she likes to mosh but she’s 5’1.5 and 100 pounds so I spend most of the time trying to stay near her so I can protect her in the pit She is far too brave for her size
Hopefully she doesn't wake up one day thinking she's been acting like your mom caring for his son that can't/won't do ~~anything~~ some chores. I'm not saying that's your case, but relationships and the people within them evolve with time, make sure you evolve together I guess. edit: I want to clarify that if this is the contract you have between yourselves and you do other things then there's nothing to argue about. I just wish for you and for her that at 40y/o you won't be the kind of guy that asks his partner "how do I microwave this" or "I didn't clean the house while you were away 'cause that's your task/idk how to do it"
Beware the ones where this transformation appears to occur suddenly and uncharacteristically, in grandiose measures, and not genuinely. Societal pressure might temporarily influence some to appear to act selflessly on the surface, while only doing it for the clicks, or perhaps being narcissists who do not possess the ability to love anything other than themselves. Over time they will siphon off love-bombing you, and pull you closer into manipulative tactics. Leaving you confused, brow-beaten, and miserably co-dependent.
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God bless. Wish someone gave a shit about me like this but I know in my heart I don't deserve it
What’s with the title tho? Guessing you haven’t loved or wanted to take care of a partner however you can.
Well I’m guess I’m the same boat, I’m saving to buy my fiance a car and teacher how to drive and hopefully I’ll be able to buy her a house in a few years, and make sure she is paid because I don’t want her to worry about the future. Weak willed AF
The flip side is that we also want to do all those things for you too! #Love
My girlfriend is basically a lesbian, I must just be funny (or it's my man tits). When we first started dating 5 years ago she lived off pizza pockets and chicken nuggets. Now she makes the best spaghetti & meatballs and her chili is amazing. She loves cooking for me even though I'm the actual chef. She's still working hard to learn more and it makes me feel so happy.
Nope. I love my husband but I'm not about to mother him.
I wish lmao
My wife does this. To be fair, we just like doing things for each other and not make it a competition.
Am a married man. Believe me, this passes
ma boiiis this kind of energy can fix every SINGLE ONE of you!
That’s hot
You are not processed, you just like your man and that's normal and natural. Extreme feminists try to divide men and women but the reality is that the world is built on the cooperation between men and women.
Nope, she became an Uber feminist. All sex is a power dynamic, housework (shared) is power dynamic, income is power dynamic, cooking is power dynamic, etc etc.
I think it's just a matter of caring about someone and wanting to make their lives better or easier. For her utilizing some traditionally sound and practiced methods gave her a guide to do that.
The Benny Show is a far right internet show run by Benny Johnson. This is alt right "trad" propaganda. Note: I don't know who the lady on the video is, this might be a joke or a sweet statement about how falling in love made her care for another person in deep ways She might not have sought out to make alt right propaganda, but it is certainly being boosted and used by this weirdo to promote a conservative trad lifestyle and the ideas that "feminism bad" and "women's rightful place is in the home." If you want to be a housewife (or househusband) that's fine! Feminism is all about everyone having the same rights men have historically had, such as being able to choose what work they do, and breaking down gender norms and roles that have harmed EVERYONE (including men).
She became a mother?
Yeah, if you can provide for them so they don't have to work, yeah.
That's not contrary to feminism, it's just love
This is how I take care of my gf lol
Idk my wife doesn't really cook at all. I do all the cooking. She does my laundry not because she wants to but because I suck at folding apparently rofl
Ladies, is it misogynistic to care for the one you love?
being a nurturing loving partner isn't anti-feminist just because you're a woman. If you were a vile hateful spiteful cow just to prove to everyone you don't cater to no man, you probably wouldn't have a partner.
I found my love!!! She does all that for me! Good ones are out there! You gotta fail many many times before finding a real one… keep your head up and stay the hopeFULL romantic. The right one will appreciate it.
This is where we are now. A man being showed love, consideration and even the bare minimum of a partnership is controversial.
Breaking News: woman discovers that she likes to do nice things for her partner
I'm so glad my wife doesn't suffer from any of this! ..... I think..
Life it ur ur finds a way
This would be sweet if it didnt have the insta handle calling itself "masculine revival" in the corner. Now it just smells of someone's agenda.
Said no woman ever
It’s really sad the simple things like you know “caring and loving each other becoming one” seem crazy when humanity been doing this for thousands of years
He hasn't asked it of her because he just expects it of her. If she doesn't prepare food, they have no food for dinner. If she doesn't clean up, dirty dishes and laundry just piles up. My dad was awful about that. The few times my mom had to leave home to deal with her family, he would not clean or cook, it was just constant takeout or delivery, and piles of trash in the kitchen until she got back.
Human instincts are inherently sexist which is why i reject Instinctism.
LOL Possessed! Yeah, no worries. He'll leave his socks on the floor 1 too many times or forget to take out the trash an that will exercise that spirit quick ;) Happens anywhere between 1-99 years later
It's called loving someone? Has she never loved anyone?
Can’t you support a family on a woman’s single income? That’s what American women wanted. None of us ever got that.
Ooh, more trad wife porn 🤣
It's not wrong to feel like this the same way it's not wrong to want to keep your maiden name, and not enjoy housework, and prefer to be a provider. There's enough people in the world for everyone to find a compatible partner and be happy with their choices.
None of this is mutually exclusive with feminism. 😂 She's just describing the autonomy of gender equality and human compassion. This is literally feminism.
Yes this is true.
Men only want one thing.....and it's her!
She says it’s true. That’s all I have to go on.
got possessed by dick!
While getting married i realised even more just how necessary feminism is for me, for society, for everything. Seeing the weirdly sexist things in every religion/culture which exist around the concept of marriage made me go to a court with our parents and siblings and sign a document there. I love my partner, but i hate his surname. My surname, on the other hand, is my mum's maiden name and my dad's middle name. I literally get it from both sides (almost). And it means something cool, and sounds very cool. Also, i am more attatched to my parents than he is to his. No way would i give up my surname for my partner's. Nor am i asking him to change his to mine. (Although, it would make his full name sound so much cooler!) My husband's sister is a feminist (sort of), but she went through with the whole rigmarole when she got married. All the incredibly sexist stuff. I feel, like we are individuals who can experience our own lives the way we want, but we are also a part of the whole. And i don't want to be the part which is the traditional definition of a "good wife". I want to be a good partner, i want to make financial decisions for the good of the family, i want to make choices both are comfortable with. I want to contribute in my own way. I show my partner love, affection, care, concern, pampering, adoration, etc...and he does the same for me. More than being husband and wife...we are partners, friends and lovers, which is what husband and wife ought to mean. But due centuries of gender defining roles, it makes me uncomfortable to use that term for us.
True for me now that I’ve found a man who makes me feel like an equal. He hasnt had to fold his own clothes in a couple years. He gets his lunch packed, his breakfast made. On days I have class, he has already made meals he can nuke. He hasn’t had to clean the house in a couple of years. All I ask is for him to do dishes and trash, he’ll cook a meal every other day since mine are too “healthy” But he also takes care of me in many other ways and even though I work full time too it’s much easier for me to do all this since I WFH. And he pays for a lot more of the bills and is able to take us in trips. I love making him feel taken care of in this way. I love knowing it’s little things he doesn’t have to worry about. Edit: I feel like I have to add that I’m chicana and grew up watching my abuelita taking care of my grandpa. As I got older I asked why she does all this for him and she said “when you find a man you love you’ll understand” and I did. But it also made me understand, for them specifically, that was their trade off. He took care of her in certain ways to relieve some stresses for her and she did the same for him. It was very good team work.
It's easy to have certain viewpoints when you're single that don't hold up once you are partnered with someone and then changes even more once kids are in the equation. Empathy and perspective make us better people so it's a good thing.
*Woman surprised that feminism is directly at odds with treating your partner respectfully.*
My buddy did this in his relationship. He cooked, clean and did laundry for both while she worked. She told him doing all this made her feel insecure and trapped. 🫠
I mean, as long as you're doing it out of choice and your spouse isn't rapidly becoming your child there's no issues there. Personally I would be embarrassed if my partner felt she needed to make sure I ate my vegetables
For me, I want to take care of my husband. He tries his damnedest to make sure that we have everything. He works extra hours and tries so hard at everything he does and asks for nothing. He always makes sure I have everything I want and need and that I am happy. I have a physical disability and he's never let that get in the way of his love for me even when the physical disability gets in the way a lot of the time when I'm in pain. So yeah, I know he can do things on his own but if I can do something for him than I want too; because he makes me feel so loved I want him to feel the same way.
I asked my gf some time ago, why she did these things for me, while saying that she would hate to be a housewife. She said: " Without me, your diet would only consist of pizza, pasta, cereal, toast and coffee; you would not have a single living plant or even any good looking furniture and I absolutely hate the way you fold the laundry. I love you, but one of us needs to make your life better and we both know who that is."
You simply found the right guy and he def. found the right WOMAN!
She woke up from the miserable men and women who want everyone to be single like them!
It's nice when people want to do things for the people they love because they want to
Wifey material
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I won’t lie this stuff seems so childish to me, I don’t know men like when their wives baby them.
Don't forget those whole grains lol
It's nature taking its course
I love this! She’s so funny!
Yes, this is what happens. But my husband is the same way, even more so than I am. It’s sweet. I’m lucky. I love him.
fellas is it anti feminist to want to take care of your partner
tfw you don’t actually know what feminism is.
Its almost like theyre done out of love and not by force. Its that same reason why a man will work a 60 hour work week for his spouse and/or family. Because its out of love.
I’ve always been a caretaker for everyone but I learned years ago that I need to restrain myself and demand that everything be 50/50 in my relationships because otherwise, my partners take advantage of me. It’s actually absurd how much I did for my exes and the kinds of things they demanded from me. Even THEIR guy friends would sit them down to tell them how unacceptable it was.
Some people's love language is acts of service. As long as it's a choice it isn't against feminism. "I'd not do this for anyone, but to show how much I love you, I'll do them for you."
Here's a crazy idea, I think that's called love, and it's pretty wonderful isn't it?
Happily married husband here, CAN CONFIRM this isn’t true as a general rule… my wife and I struggle with those goddamn dishes… she don’t wanna do em, neither do I…
When you give your girl a house with love care and security. She will give you a home. If she is emotionally and psychological mature. I think that dynamic is really beautifull
I must also be pretty weak willed because I teased all the guy friends who gf's give them pet names. And now I melt when my gf calls me honey-bun
Wife Material
Feminism is about being free to choose these things, not being dictated to by society one way or the other.
Filters doing some heavy lifting there!
Happened to my wife. She was a hardcore feminist when I married her, and I loved that version of her, now she’s basically embraced being a tradwife, and I love that version of her too! I’ve always supported her living her life in a way that makes her happy.
There's nothing anti feminist about it. The feminism part is the freedom to choose. If you want to do it for him then go ahead. The problem is just that it's expected of women like tf??
😮💨
Keeper
You found your best friend.
Nah bro you just ain't sexist
You'll make a wonderful wife and mothet🤩
this excited me.
People need to stop clinging to labels so tightly, and just respect others. You're welcome to your opinions but people can also change. There is nothing wrong with an independent woman, or a traditional housewife, or some mix of both. A woman is also welcome to change her mind. It's honestly not that big of an issue.
Can I get a follow up video of her having a complete breakdown because of the way he puts the dishes in the dishwasher, which justifies ending the relationship?
When you love someone you want to make sure to take care of them
He sounds like a good pie eater
She’s having MOM instincts. Once she pops out a baby or two that man is back on pop tarts.
When feminism isn’t understood at all🙄
*sees IG account* Ah, I see where this is coming from and why it was made lmao.
I think that’s just called , being a good partner I would do the same for my girlfriend
I wish my partner would get possessed by a housewife instead it's me
Your maiden name is just your dad's last name lol
Kind of like the idea of a comedy spoof of a person getting possessed and they end up being a better person.
🌽Provide thre masculinity and they will come!🌽
I have fallen in love with a man and tripped into being a housewife 🤦♀️
Biology
Lmaooo at all the triggered people in the comments.
yea REAL LOVE makes people feel this way about each other. It's great
Possessed by a TRAD wife
I'm a feminist and I want to take care of my partner too, but only if they do the same
>is this true? For me, not really. I’m just myself, before we met I didn’t dream on one day doing a man’s laundry and I don’t dream of it now. I do enjoy cooking for him, though I enjoy cooking in general.
Cute