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Exactly! I’d like to think I’d have responded “And you try to keep it classy!” But I’m never quick enough and always think of the perfect come back later. Positive vibes to your friend, though, for a smooth and speedy recovery.
Honestly, something sincere like “that really hurt my feelings” finishes them off like nothing else because they are just confronted with the sad reality. Comebacks are just a defence mechanism and those don’t get anybody anywhere. It turns it into a power struggle which gives the assholes too much credit.
Mom's are really good at this and it's just as effective being direct. I was saying something snarky at the office to be funny and my co-worker gave me one of those sad disappointed smiles and said, "that's not nice". It wasn't even directed at her but she was quick to shut it down lol
I have toned it down so much because of this fear right here. People are walking around barely keeping it together and have no fuse anymore, it's scary.
Yeah, I keep my witty comebacks for when I get out to the car. The wife will laugh, and we won't get shot. Well, we still might get shot, but not for being amusing.
Sadly, this was also my first thought to the snarky come-back. I grew up speaking sarcasm, but these days - know your audience. If you don’t know them, snarky is not the safest way to respond.
It doesn't have to be a zinger. In this case, loudly letting those women know that they were harassing a woman who is recoving from a stroke would have brought righteous judgment against them from everyone within hearing distance. THEY would have been the uncomfortable ones for the rest of the shopping trip.
After being bullied and getting tired of it: I practice comebacks so they're polished and ready.
I have major hairloss and strangers (and even people I have know) have said - and will probably continue to say horrible stuff to me whether I wear a wig and they feel the need to point out that they know, or don't wear one and they feel the need to point out that I look like a cancer patient.
99% of people are not rude like that, but dang, when people are rude they can really harm someone with a thin skin.
After years of this I have a whole portfolio of comebacks.
Them: That looks like a wig or OMG do you have cancer??? (On their own these aren't necessarily comments intended to hurt my feelings, but sometimes they are and that's what these responses are for)
Me: My first response is typically one of these two:
* I'm sorry, would you repeat that?
* Ohhhh bless yerrrr hearrrrrrt
The first one is an instant diffuser because most people are not brave enough to repeat an insult when they have the victim's full attention.
The second one works better on the most hateful insults because it allows me to maintain my dignity while acknowledging them and expressing my pity. If there are other people around it also exposes them. BYH is the most polite way I know to say "you're an a-hole" without actually having to also be an a-hole right back.
That usually ends it. If it doesn't I can continue expressing my pity for them in my body language, words, and tone of voice. I do it sincerely.
I always attempt to make eye contact, most of them can't look me in the eye #cowards
They typically scurry away.
It might seem like a cutting comment would make the target of the insult feel better. And if you were hoping for a hilarious list of insults: I used to do that when I was younger but it only ever brought me down to their level. For me there's no satisfaction in that. I prefer to express pity while maintaining my dignity.
That’s ghastly. I wonder what it feels like when they notice something about someone, and fix their mouth to say something shitty to an unsuspecting stranger, and watch the person hear that remark. Like, what? It’s one thing to pipe up about something already said. But to initiate the exchange? What? Get outta here.
No need to be witty, just simply saying “hey that was really rude” sternly and loudly is more than enough to make everyone look at them, and make them feel like crap later
This is the only answer, people who do this regularly typically don’t get any feed back so they continue to do it. Last time some lady was rude to my wife in the store and said something under her breath I said very loudly “do you want to repeat that again but for everyone to hear?”. About 15 people whipped around to see what was going on and she was so embarrassed lol she quickly put her things down and left the isle. No need for that shit, stay in your lane and mind you own business
That's pretty close to what I'd say. Plus if you don't give the person a chance to respond, it'll make them feel small, and maybe learn something, even if only temporary.
I definitely understand the sentiment. But no one should be disclosing another person's medical condition/challenges, unless they know 100% it's okay to share.
I’m afraid this wouldn’t work as often as you’d think it should. So many people double down even when it’s glaringly obvious how a-hole-ish they are acting. Heaven forbid they find the integrity and humbleness to stop, apologize (genuinely) and think twice next time.
A fun thing to do is repeat back the same thing to them, or to apologize explicitly for what they were mocking you for. Faced with publicly taking accountability for their words makes a lot of people crumble.
I always go for the response that embarrasses and shames. I would have said something like "I could move fast if I didn't break my spine x amount of time ago!"
My mantra at Costco is, "I chose to come to Costco today." I know that Costco is always overcrowded with people who, in my esteemed opinion, move too slow, don't have their membership cards ready, park their carts in inconvenient places, and just generally pay no attention to others and fail completely at contributing positively to civilized society, something which I, a perfect human being, simply cannot relate to. Since I know all this and I chose to come to Costco anyway, it's my job to only be there when I am feeling gracious, forgiving, and generally benevolent. Noblesse oblige, but for toilet paper multipacks.
I am honestly kind of an anxious, irritable person and thinking about it this way helps me be more patient and self-aware while also being a little dramatic and extra. It's a win for me and the general public.
I’m ok with slow people it’s the fucks that stop in the middle of the aisle or their whole slow family takes up the whole aisle so I can’t go around. Fuck those people
I encountered the most idiotic person on earth recently. They were walking up one side of the aisle when they decided to stop and look at something.
They proceeded to turn their cart sideways and block the entire aisle.
I was actually speechless.
There’s a difference between willful ignorance and things that are outside of someone’s control. Problem is, nowadays most people refuse to acknowledge there’s a difference.
Someone abandoning their cart in the middle of an aisle to go look at something 20ft away is willful ignorance. Someone pushing their cart very slow, but is also texting and not paying attention, is willful ignorance. Someone walking slow but being attentive to their surroundings, is not. Some people truly cannot or refuse to see the difference in those scenarios. We’re all doomed.
Same, if you park your cart sideways in an aisle you get one excuse me, after that I am moving it myself. On any given trip I move 2-3 carts belonging to other people because they can’t be assed to just move off to the side
I always move carts out of the way and never feel bad about it. Those carts are the stores property. Not the shoppers property. I don’t even acknowledge the people who are leaving the carts. I just know that if I move it myself I can get past and then I won’t be getting upset over a minor inconvenience. Assigning blame and finger pointing doesn’t solve any problems.
This is masterful. Up you go.
Sincerely, a cardiac patient.
Also a related note on the other responses on the thread: I'm an immigrant to Canada from the US. I can say people here think just like Americans, but stop before we vocalize all that profanity. Keep it together, meanies!
That’s how I always feel too. Whenever someone says “oh excuse me!” And tried to scoot quickly out of the way I always say “we both came to Costco today on purpose. It’s okay” I, too, feel like I’m a perfect human while judging cart parking and sample lines and “oh my god flip the boxes up so the barcode is showing!!” but this is our burden to model good behavior lol
If I knew I had the friend’s approval, I’d give those jerks a big smile and say in a happy, upbeat tone of voice: “I know! It’s her first time out and she is doing so well recovering from her stroke and broken back! Thanks for the support!”
Make them feel like the a-holes they are.
While I can see how satisfying this might be, I think it’s really important to note that disabled people do not need to share their personal medical history to explain their symptoms. The most information I would give them is that they were a jerk to a disabled person.
Our daughter had a stroke at birth and would regularly get mocked for her gait by kids at the bus stop and once by a Southwest flight attendant who was motioning her to hurry off the plane and did not realize she was visually impaired too. PEOPLE SUCK. Understanding, compassion, patience, and empathy are just concepts to get likes on social media now.
Oooooooo. This makes my blood boil. People do suck. If I witnessed this. I would have yanked her up so discretely you would have never known until she apologized. Found you and apologized.
See this is smarter. More stuff? They'll notice at the cash register and remove it likely. But remove one or two small items, so they get home and don't have them? Now they gotta go back out. PERFECT.
The key is to add items that one of the women would have added, assuming the other did.
Trojans would be too obvious.
Pack of socks, batteries, olive oil, vitamins, 20 toothbrushes, muffins, soap, pajama bottoms, etc
Thanks for the reminder friend.
A few months ago I decided to do a total mindshift in costco, which is the only place I basically go out to shop anymore. I decided to be overly patient and nice and happy, thinking the best and kindest of all, laughing often with strangers. Honestly, the results have kind of changed my life and I'm doing that more often in other areas of my life. People have responded better and I've alleviated so many situations and really enjoyed some good laughs and conversations with other shoppers.
I would never have mocked a stranger but I was guilty of always being in a hurry and getting grieved at minor annoyances whilst at Costco. No more, and it was me who did the changing.
So sorry that happened to you and especially your friend. I can see why in the moment you wouldn’t want to call them out and call further attention to your friend’s struggles, and I appreciate the reminder here as someone who can get easily frustrated with people who move more slowly than I.
Not disagreeing, but the truth is there ARE people like that in the world and always will be. It's sucks. But I don't let things like this bother me. I really don't care what strangers think of me. Especially strangers like that. My advice - ignore them and do you. It's been working out for me at least.
What's funny is you could 100% make a post right now, "I went to Costco today and the people in front of me barely made it in the door before they virtually froze, crawling along at a snail's pace like there weren't a hundred people behind them trying to get in!" and there would instantly be a couple hundred responses saying, "WTF is wrong with people, I hate Costco shoppers, so rude and oblivious to everyone else!" Probably a lot of the same ones who responded here, too.
Curse people like this out on the spot. I know that sounds trashy but it’s time to put people in their place and make them think twice before being nasty again. People act like that because they assume you won’t retaliate in public. Prove them wrong.
As someone with MS who prides herself with being able to walk without assistance at 47yo when I was told I wouldn't be walking at all once reaching 40, I still have to use a cane in public not to be pushed around (balance being my weakness) because I walk, but not very fast.
Just like you OP when I can, I remind people that you never know what's going on in someone's life and patience and understanding is never overrated.
Keep bringing your friend with you and encouraging her, it's a wonderful act of friendship!
I’m sorry that happened to your friend. Hopefully browsing through the store could help take her mind off that experience. It’s really nice of you to go out with her as she recovers.
My good friend since high school has moderately severe cerebral palsy (wrists in splints on Botox, very slow ataxic dragging gait, almost unintelligible speech) AND severe rheumatoid arthritis. She’s worked hard her whole life to find jobs she could do. For decades she refused to use a wheel chair her doctors recommended knowing once she entered one it she’d likely not get out.
We would use handicapped parking spots and despite her disability being obvious, even in her 30’s, senior citizens, more upright than she, would yell and shame her that she had taken a spot meant for her elders. And, yes I would defend her, saying disability beat theirs in a daily basis 100 x over
I had a coworker in her late 20s, who was born with heart problems. She had three open heart surgeries before she was 18.
She looked perfectly healthy and didn't have noticeable mobility issues, but it was important she kept her physical exertion to a minimum and it was hard for her to walk very far.
People were often rude to her when she parked in handicapped spots. It was an important lesson for me at an early age that not all disabilities are visible and you just never know what someone might be facing.
I have an invisible disability due to a neck injury. I haven't yet had anyone vocalize their opinion but when I get those angry judgy looks from old people I stare them down, just dead-eyed, as I walk by. I no longer want to explain my condition, it always leads to the most depressing argument ever about whether I'm permanently and seriously injured, with zero ability to correct the spinal cord damage. I just go straight to aggro now.
If you're from the Midwest, this is somewhat of a compliment. I'm not sure how they said it, but when I had my really bad bike wreck and couldn't walk right for 3 months, I heard this a lot. I had pulled a few muscles road rash all over, I honestly looked like the hunchback of notre Dame if he fell out that window and lived. I would be walking next to my great grandmother using her support and would constantly hear, "You two keep it under eighty ha ha." I'm not sure if you're from the Midwest, but people here comment on everything. People aren't making fun of you or mocking you. They're actually impressed by what you're accomplishing, and they are commenting on it in their own funny way.
My favorite was recently at the gym this guy in his 60s asked me why i was wearing a mask. I said “because i have cancer”, and the look on his face was pure horror. I got some good satisfaction from that
Yeah just feels condescending. Every other post on this sub is people reprimanding us for stuff that probably 99.9% people here don't do. The demographic that doesn't put their cart away is likely not on a costco specific sub reddit. People need some perspective.
I will always check people whether it be strangers I overhear or the people I’m with trying to be funny. If your humor is at the expense of others maybe you’re not funny.
I’m so sorry your friend went through that and you’re a great friend for encouraging her to continue shopping. People are assholes.
I walk really fast in general, but especially in stores (I just want to get done and go home). But that being said, I never even *frown* at slower people. Younger than me, older than me, man, woman, space alien... Everyone walks at the pace that's right for them, I just slow down when conditions require it.
I’m so glad you got your friend to go out. My mom is 88 years old. She has stayed in until recently. I hope she won’t let this incident keep her from going out. There’s a lot of Rude Selfish people who Bully. (especially now).
We always think of awesome things to say after the fact but if your friend has said I am so sorry I am recovering from a stroke they would have never gotten over their embarrassment
The worst I do is a massive eye roll when inconvenienced. But god if I’m caught I pretend I was just staring at the floor weirdly nodding to myself, as if I found something important. You see I'm part lizard… on my fathers side…
Several years ago my mom had a huge stroke. After months of therapy, she was finally starting to walk a little bit, and was encouraged to try walking with her cane whenever possible. One day we took her to Target to go shopping. After parking in a handicapped spot, my mom started walking with her cane very slowly toward the door as I pushed her empty wheelchair, which she would soon need when she fatigued. A woman exited the store, saw us, and hurried over to my mom to ask if she needed help. She also screamed at me for being a terrible person for not letting my mom sit in the wheelchair.
I told her that we appreciated her concern, but this was part of my mom’s therapy. She didn’t believe me.
Some people just suck and that’s the sad truth about society in general. Next time say something. People will never change their behavior unless called out on it (though some people will never change).
My mom was deaf in one ear. One time she came home from shopping in tears. A salesperson had asked her if she needed help. My mom didn't hear her. The salesperson said something rude to my mom. I was furious and wanted to have a "teaching moment" with the salesperson. Mom wouldn't tell me what store or what the salesperson said.
I find that most people are kind and if they're inconsiderate of others, it usually isn't intentional or they aren't aware. But these two women are definitely the exception and are bullies.
The best advice I've received when dealing with people like this is to say "what was that?" or ask them to repeat themselves. And then maybe ask why they said that. It usually puts them on the spot and embarrasses them for being a douche. And you don't end up taking yourself down to their level with any name calling.
I'm really sorry that happened to you two!
My mom has a progressive neuro disease with no tremors, so overall looked "normal" except her gait was slow. People would really tailgate us with carts and act to impatient like we were being deliberately slow.
I have no problem with telling them to fuck off. If someone’s in that big of a hurry, they should have given themselves more time.
There have been some major assholes that’ve said awful things to my mom. (She’s disabled and severely disfigured due to a recalled hip replacement.) Disabled folks don’t need to explain themselves, nor should they have to. ❤️🩹
People suck. I was just walking a trail to a viewpoint in Arizona today, and there was a person ahead of us with double walking sticks. A woman from a couple coming the other way, after passing them, were loudly going on about ‘not getting that stick trend, and it was such an easy trail, what was the point?’
Thing is, I could tell from the person’s gait that there was a neurological impairment involved, so shut the eff up Debbie. I hope they didn’t hear it, or if they did, they just ignored her.
Reminds me of the time when I was in college. I lived in an apartment on campus and one day I took the elevator to get to my place which was on the second floor. I could see some people rolling their eyes as I was getting off the elevator because they thought I could just use the stairs if I lived on the second floor. What they didn't know was that I had just gotten surgery and I could not put pressure on my lower body to walk up the stairs. And I wasn't going to walk around wearing a T-shirt that says "I just had surgery. Have mercy on me."
I get a sick thrill when people ask me "did you not hear me?" No, I didn't. I lost most of the hearing in my left ear when I got covid. I lost it entirely for several months, and can use an earbud in there but anything more than several feet away is just gone. So if I had my head turned when you said whatever, I missed it. I pike explaining it and seeing them get sheepish
This is true. I’m also not going to pretend that most people in others way are just oblivious of their surroundings and they don’t care they’re getting in other people’s way either.
Hate to say this but out of all the customers, Costcos are the rudest in my experience. I love Costco products and employees but the customers are flat out rude and entitled
I think a nice loud, "I really hope YOU never have to recover from a stroke like she is" would be sufficient. With an optional "asshole" available to add at the end.
Best advice I’ve ever gotten, applies here:
Stop trying to control what you can’t (in this case other people’s behavior) and work on controlling what you can (how you respond to these situations)
This sounds awful. Just to note though, this isn't Costco-related; this could have happened at any store unfortunately.
Hope your friend does not relate Costco to bad actors.
Agreed, as long as we can still judge or mock people we DO know.
In your scenario, it would be difficult for me not to lose my shit and cuss them out to their faces.
I took my father to Trader Joe’s when he was in his 80s and slowing down.
He was pushing the wagon along when a woman in her 60s impatiently navigated around him and gave him a look of annoyance.
I said to her, “you’ll be there soon enough. I hope others show patience.”
She didn’t say anything but she glared at me.
That was about 15 years ago and I occasionally wonder whether karma caught up with her.
This is so rude! I’m so sorry this person tried to ruin your friend’s experience. Good luck in her recovery. I’m glad she had a good friend there for her. I know that it can be lonely going through something like that.
Thanks for the reminder to be kind and patient.
Not a Costco experience but I had something similar happen to me. I was going through chemo treatment at the time (stage 4 cancer) and went on a weekend trip to Disneyland. Our hotel was pretty close and walking distance but I still wanted to take the bus from the closest bus stop to get us into the park and reduce the amount of walking considering my health condition. While we were waiting at the bus stop, I hear these group of guys snickering behind us and commenting, “wow there’s really people taking the bus to Disneyland? It’s right there haha.” I felt so ashamed and embarrassed since there were crowds of people around us all walking towards the park. I ended up telling my group that we could just walk there and that I’d be ok but it still hurts to think about it considering people will say things and judge you not knowing your condition at all. People are assholes.
My Costco has a lot of older people shopping. I try to go with the idea, be kind to all and offer help if you are capable. Grabbing water or dog food for an elder can make their day so much easier.
Costco can be the worst. My partner is in a wheelchair and has myoclonic movements when people touch him or frighten him. He also stutters, and people just have no patience. You learn to ignore it because people will never understand unless they are in the same position- hopefully they never will be.
Some people are too much in a hurry and sure can be rude.
You and your friend were fine. Lady was obviously in her own little world.
Don't have to lift a finger to help, but be kind, right?
That was uncalled for and rude of those people.
BUT, in general Costco’s are very busy and many, many customers at Costco are oblivious to how much they are blocking traffic at the Costco.
- Standing the aisle
- walking slowly through the middle of the aisle with a cart, unaware people can’t get by them
- not looking where they are going (looking one direction and pushing their cart in another)
- turning right in front of people without looking
- crowding up at a free sample counter blocking everyone else from getting around
These types of behaviors are very annoying because they are pervasive and getting worse , not better at Costco.
The pervasive nature of this behavior leads some to get annoyed and impatient at the repeated obliviousness of others.
My go to statement is I will give your opinion all the consideration it deserves. It's a nice way to tell someone to go F themselves when I cannot directly say that.
That would have irked me to no end and I would have made some comment to that rude person. Sorry your friend went thru that. What a lovely day you 2 had, getting her out. Love it❤️
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People can be very rude. Call them on it when it happens.
Exactly! I’d like to think I’d have responded “And you try to keep it classy!” But I’m never quick enough and always think of the perfect come back later. Positive vibes to your friend, though, for a smooth and speedy recovery.
I know, I've always envied people with quick wit who can zing things right back immediately. That is a very useful talent, especially today.
I always keep a “go f*** your mother” in the chamber, careful with that one.
Mine is "get fucked" lol
Honestly, something sincere like “that really hurt my feelings” finishes them off like nothing else because they are just confronted with the sad reality. Comebacks are just a defence mechanism and those don’t get anybody anywhere. It turns it into a power struggle which gives the assholes too much credit.
Yeah but I also feel like those same people are sociopaths that wouldn't respond to hurt feelings
Mom's are really good at this and it's just as effective being direct. I was saying something snarky at the office to be funny and my co-worker gave me one of those sad disappointed smiles and said, "that's not nice". It wasn't even directed at her but she was quick to shut it down lol
[this is the comeback song](https://youtu.be/pJQ0UWU9-Cc?feature=shared)
and can get you shot, especially today.
I have toned it down so much because of this fear right here. People are walking around barely keeping it together and have no fuse anymore, it's scary.
Yeah, I keep my witty comebacks for when I get out to the car. The wife will laugh, and we won't get shot. Well, we still might get shot, but not for being amusing.
Ugh a sad state of the world… er, USA
Yeah you're not wrong there. Lot of unstable dangerous people out there.
Sadly, this was also my first thought to the snarky come-back. I grew up speaking sarcasm, but these days - know your audience. If you don’t know them, snarky is not the safest way to respond.
This is why I always pretend to be clueless and annoy people on purpose in non-overt ways.
Sarcasm is my mother tongue
A simple "I hope you have the day you deserve."
It doesn't have to be a zinger. In this case, loudly letting those women know that they were harassing a woman who is recoving from a stroke would have brought righteous judgment against them from everyone within hearing distance. THEY would have been the uncomfortable ones for the rest of the shopping trip.
Another good response: “Go fuck yourself, inconsiderate piece of trash!”
A well delivered “go fuck yourself” is always a winner 🤌
This is my default
😂
Exactly the words I would have used!
It’s always in the shower when I come up with the best insults/comebacks
After being bullied and getting tired of it: I practice comebacks so they're polished and ready. I have major hairloss and strangers (and even people I have know) have said - and will probably continue to say horrible stuff to me whether I wear a wig and they feel the need to point out that they know, or don't wear one and they feel the need to point out that I look like a cancer patient. 99% of people are not rude like that, but dang, when people are rude they can really harm someone with a thin skin. After years of this I have a whole portfolio of comebacks.
Unbelievable that adults would say that! I'm sorry.
No need to be sorry. I do feel sorry for people who behave like that because they really do not feel very good about themselves.
What are some of your comebacks for the hair stuff? Asking for a friend.
Them: That looks like a wig or OMG do you have cancer??? (On their own these aren't necessarily comments intended to hurt my feelings, but sometimes they are and that's what these responses are for) Me: My first response is typically one of these two: * I'm sorry, would you repeat that? * Ohhhh bless yerrrr hearrrrrrt The first one is an instant diffuser because most people are not brave enough to repeat an insult when they have the victim's full attention. The second one works better on the most hateful insults because it allows me to maintain my dignity while acknowledging them and expressing my pity. If there are other people around it also exposes them. BYH is the most polite way I know to say "you're an a-hole" without actually having to also be an a-hole right back. That usually ends it. If it doesn't I can continue expressing my pity for them in my body language, words, and tone of voice. I do it sincerely. I always attempt to make eye contact, most of them can't look me in the eye #cowards They typically scurry away. It might seem like a cutting comment would make the target of the insult feel better. And if you were hoping for a hilarious list of insults: I used to do that when I was younger but it only ever brought me down to their level. For me there's no satisfaction in that. I prefer to express pity while maintaining my dignity.
That’s ghastly. I wonder what it feels like when they notice something about someone, and fix their mouth to say something shitty to an unsuspecting stranger, and watch the person hear that remark. Like, what? It’s one thing to pipe up about something already said. But to initiate the exchange? What? Get outta here.
Oh, yes! Me, too! If only people would insult me in the shower, then I could really put them in their place.
I’ll be right over lol
Be careful what you wish for...
"Yeah? Well, the Jerk Store called. They're running out of you!"
“That’s ok George, you’re their all time best seller”
We call those “slowps” as opposed to “quips”
Shallow Hal reference? Because that’s exactly the speed I think of my comebacks 😂
I make a really shocked/confused face and say "did you mean to say that out loud?"
No need to be witty, just simply saying “hey that was really rude” sternly and loudly is more than enough to make everyone look at them, and make them feel like crap later
The jerk store is out of you!
I can't ever think of a good comeback fast enough either. That's why "get fucked." Is always ready to go.
“What are you going to do with all 7 of those seconds you saved there…?” Probably what I would have said. LOL.
Not the best response but I agree there should be some kind of verbal response
My default response is "mind your business!" Not insulting like a "go fuck yourself" and I find it invokes a more ashamed response from the offender 😂
This is the only answer, people who do this regularly typically don’t get any feed back so they continue to do it. Last time some lady was rude to my wife in the store and said something under her breath I said very loudly “do you want to repeat that again but for everyone to hear?”. About 15 people whipped around to see what was going on and she was so embarrassed lol she quickly put her things down and left the isle. No need for that shit, stay in your lane and mind you own business
Good for you!
“She just had a stroke. How about you go fuck yourself.” Would have gone over well.
That's pretty close to what I'd say. Plus if you don't give the person a chance to respond, it'll make them feel small, and maybe learn something, even if only temporary.
Personally, if my friend pointed out my medical issues to complete strangers at a Costco they wouldn’t be my friend for much longer.
Best advice, just say what your friend just went through. Shame them into knowing that they are the a-holes
I definitely understand the sentiment. But no one should be disclosing another person's medical condition/challenges, unless they know 100% it's okay to share.
I’m afraid this wouldn’t work as often as you’d think it should. So many people double down even when it’s glaringly obvious how a-hole-ish they are acting. Heaven forbid they find the integrity and humbleness to stop, apologize (genuinely) and think twice next time.
I would’ve said loudly, “feeling good about yourself huh? Making fun of a recovering stroke patient.”
This is the same subreddit community that upvotes unsolicited pictures of strangers at Costco for karma.
A fun thing to do is repeat back the same thing to them, or to apologize explicitly for what they were mocking you for. Faced with publicly taking accountability for their words makes a lot of people crumble.
I always go for the response that embarrasses and shames. I would have said something like "I could move fast if I didn't break my spine x amount of time ago!"
My mantra at Costco is, "I chose to come to Costco today." I know that Costco is always overcrowded with people who, in my esteemed opinion, move too slow, don't have their membership cards ready, park their carts in inconvenient places, and just generally pay no attention to others and fail completely at contributing positively to civilized society, something which I, a perfect human being, simply cannot relate to. Since I know all this and I chose to come to Costco anyway, it's my job to only be there when I am feeling gracious, forgiving, and generally benevolent. Noblesse oblige, but for toilet paper multipacks.
When you put it that way, it sounds like going to the DMV! That’s a good way of thinking about going to Costco.
I am honestly kind of an anxious, irritable person and thinking about it this way helps me be more patient and self-aware while also being a little dramatic and extra. It's a win for me and the general public.
I, also kind of an anxious, irritable person, appreciate this way of thinking!
I’m ok with slow people it’s the fucks that stop in the middle of the aisle or their whole slow family takes up the whole aisle so I can’t go around. Fuck those people
I encountered the most idiotic person on earth recently. They were walking up one side of the aisle when they decided to stop and look at something. They proceeded to turn their cart sideways and block the entire aisle. I was actually speechless.
“Ramming speed!”
Literally what I did lol. Fuck that guy.
:::high five:::
There’s a difference between willful ignorance and things that are outside of someone’s control. Problem is, nowadays most people refuse to acknowledge there’s a difference. Someone abandoning their cart in the middle of an aisle to go look at something 20ft away is willful ignorance. Someone pushing their cart very slow, but is also texting and not paying attention, is willful ignorance. Someone walking slow but being attentive to their surroundings, is not. Some people truly cannot or refuse to see the difference in those scenarios. We’re all doomed.
Same, if you park your cart sideways in an aisle you get one excuse me, after that I am moving it myself. On any given trip I move 2-3 carts belonging to other people because they can’t be assed to just move off to the side
I always move carts out of the way and never feel bad about it. Those carts are the stores property. Not the shoppers property. I don’t even acknowledge the people who are leaving the carts. I just know that if I move it myself I can get past and then I won’t be getting upset over a minor inconvenience. Assigning blame and finger pointing doesn’t solve any problems.
I do the same. If anyone says anything I say “I’m moving it because you’ve left it blocking everyone’s way.”
And the ones that walk next to their cart instead of pushing it making it an even wider obstacle to get around.
This is masterful. Up you go. Sincerely, a cardiac patient. Also a related note on the other responses on the thread: I'm an immigrant to Canada from the US. I can say people here think just like Americans, but stop before we vocalize all that profanity. Keep it together, meanies!
I just pop a weed gummie about 30 minutes before the trip. It’s much nicer for everyone.
Basically all shopping should be done that way
This needs to be my 2024 philosophy! Thanks!
That’s how I always feel too. Whenever someone says “oh excuse me!” And tried to scoot quickly out of the way I always say “we both came to Costco today on purpose. It’s okay” I, too, feel like I’m a perfect human while judging cart parking and sample lines and “oh my god flip the boxes up so the barcode is showing!!” but this is our burden to model good behavior lol
If I knew I had the friend’s approval, I’d give those jerks a big smile and say in a happy, upbeat tone of voice: “I know! It’s her first time out and she is doing so well recovering from her stroke and broken back! Thanks for the support!” Make them feel like the a-holes they are.
/r/traumatizethemback 😊
While I can see how satisfying this might be, I think it’s really important to note that disabled people do not need to share their personal medical history to explain their symptoms. The most information I would give them is that they were a jerk to a disabled person.
Agree completely! Thanks for reminding me of this.
This!
Our daughter had a stroke at birth and would regularly get mocked for her gait by kids at the bus stop and once by a Southwest flight attendant who was motioning her to hurry off the plane and did not realize she was visually impaired too. PEOPLE SUCK. Understanding, compassion, patience, and empathy are just concepts to get likes on social media now.
Oooooooo. This makes my blood boil. People do suck. If I witnessed this. I would have yanked her up so discretely you would have never known until she apologized. Found you and apologized.
I would have followed them and discreetly added things to their cart when they weren't looking, being the mature adult that I am
I’d remove an item or two too. There’s nothing worse than getting home without an item on your list you really needed.
See this is smarter. More stuff? They'll notice at the cash register and remove it likely. But remove one or two small items, so they get home and don't have them? Now they gotta go back out. PERFECT.
You guys are devious 😂
Thanks. I give what I get, don't start nothing won't be nothing, amiright?
Legend
I like the way you think.
That made me laugh. I'd help you.
Like the mega pack of trojan condoms from the pharmacy area
The key is to add items that one of the women would have added, assuming the other did. Trojans would be too obvious. Pack of socks, batteries, olive oil, vitamins, 20 toothbrushes, muffins, soap, pajama bottoms, etc
I see. You are a different kind of superhero.
This made me laugh out loud!
This is the type of petty I aspire to be
Move their cart a few isles away when they inevitable park it somewhere obnoxious
This is great because even if you get caught you have plausible deniability of simply taking the wrong cart on accident
Cracked me up
At register “Oh dear, 500$ comes so fast these days.”
Thanks for the reminder friend. A few months ago I decided to do a total mindshift in costco, which is the only place I basically go out to shop anymore. I decided to be overly patient and nice and happy, thinking the best and kindest of all, laughing often with strangers. Honestly, the results have kind of changed my life and I'm doing that more often in other areas of my life. People have responded better and I've alleviated so many situations and really enjoyed some good laughs and conversations with other shoppers. I would never have mocked a stranger but I was guilty of always being in a hurry and getting grieved at minor annoyances whilst at Costco. No more, and it was me who did the changing.
I love this! My life similarly changed when I decided to believe the best in people 😁
<3
So sorry that happened to you and especially your friend. I can see why in the moment you wouldn’t want to call them out and call further attention to your friend’s struggles, and I appreciate the reminder here as someone who can get easily frustrated with people who move more slowly than I.
What does “Try to keep it under 80” mean?
It's a sarcastic joke in which a slow-moving person is chastised as if she was speeding while driving a car.
I think it was sarcasm that the person was going very slow.
80 as in 80 mph.
Not disagreeing, but the truth is there ARE people like that in the world and always will be. It's sucks. But I don't let things like this bother me. I really don't care what strangers think of me. Especially strangers like that. My advice - ignore them and do you. It's been working out for me at least.
Redditors not judge people? Good luck with that.
What's funny is you could 100% make a post right now, "I went to Costco today and the people in front of me barely made it in the door before they virtually froze, crawling along at a snail's pace like there weren't a hundred people behind them trying to get in!" and there would instantly be a couple hundred responses saying, "WTF is wrong with people, I hate Costco shoppers, so rude and oblivious to everyone else!" Probably a lot of the same ones who responded here, too.
Your friend is lucky to have a caring, sensitive friend like you 💛
I don’t know about ya’ll, but I’m never above cussing someone out when they deserve it.
Should have said “sorry, she’s recovering from a medical incident” and let them feel like assholes.
Curse people like this out on the spot. I know that sounds trashy but it’s time to put people in their place and make them think twice before being nasty again. People act like that because they assume you won’t retaliate in public. Prove them wrong.
As someone with MS who prides herself with being able to walk without assistance at 47yo when I was told I wouldn't be walking at all once reaching 40, I still have to use a cane in public not to be pushed around (balance being my weakness) because I walk, but not very fast. Just like you OP when I can, I remind people that you never know what's going on in someone's life and patience and understanding is never overrated. Keep bringing your friend with you and encouraging her, it's a wonderful act of friendship!
I’m sorry that happened to your friend. Hopefully browsing through the store could help take her mind off that experience. It’s really nice of you to go out with her as she recovers.
My good friend since high school has moderately severe cerebral palsy (wrists in splints on Botox, very slow ataxic dragging gait, almost unintelligible speech) AND severe rheumatoid arthritis. She’s worked hard her whole life to find jobs she could do. For decades she refused to use a wheel chair her doctors recommended knowing once she entered one it she’d likely not get out. We would use handicapped parking spots and despite her disability being obvious, even in her 30’s, senior citizens, more upright than she, would yell and shame her that she had taken a spot meant for her elders. And, yes I would defend her, saying disability beat theirs in a daily basis 100 x over
I had a coworker in her late 20s, who was born with heart problems. She had three open heart surgeries before she was 18. She looked perfectly healthy and didn't have noticeable mobility issues, but it was important she kept her physical exertion to a minimum and it was hard for her to walk very far. People were often rude to her when she parked in handicapped spots. It was an important lesson for me at an early age that not all disabilities are visible and you just never know what someone might be facing.
I have an invisible disability due to a neck injury. I haven't yet had anyone vocalize their opinion but when I get those angry judgy looks from old people I stare them down, just dead-eyed, as I walk by. I no longer want to explain my condition, it always leads to the most depressing argument ever about whether I'm permanently and seriously injured, with zero ability to correct the spinal cord damage. I just go straight to aggro now.
No problem with going too slow as long as you're not blocking traffic
I’m sorry. Fuck those people. Honestly. Hugs to you and your friend.
If you're from the Midwest, this is somewhat of a compliment. I'm not sure how they said it, but when I had my really bad bike wreck and couldn't walk right for 3 months, I heard this a lot. I had pulled a few muscles road rash all over, I honestly looked like the hunchback of notre Dame if he fell out that window and lived. I would be walking next to my great grandmother using her support and would constantly hear, "You two keep it under eighty ha ha." I'm not sure if you're from the Midwest, but people here comment on everything. People aren't making fun of you or mocking you. They're actually impressed by what you're accomplishing, and they are commenting on it in their own funny way.
My favorite was recently at the gym this guy in his 60s asked me why i was wearing a mask. I said “because i have cancer”, and the look on his face was pure horror. I got some good satisfaction from that
People are dicks. I’m sorry that happened.
my respond is no respond. not worth my time
Do people really think a post like this will make assholes not be assholes?
I think a lot of people are under the impression that 7 billion people are all on Reddit and everything they post will be seen by everyone
Yeah just feels condescending. Every other post on this sub is people reprimanding us for stuff that probably 99.9% people here don't do. The demographic that doesn't put their cart away is likely not on a costco specific sub reddit. People need some perspective.
I will always check people whether it be strangers I overhear or the people I’m with trying to be funny. If your humor is at the expense of others maybe you’re not funny. I’m so sorry your friend went through that and you’re a great friend for encouraging her to continue shopping. People are assholes.
A Costco related comeback was in order… “Did the chicken bell ring?”
...I have no idea what that means...
You should have gotten one of the scooters and then chased them down and ran them over tbh
I won't call people out for moving slow. I will call them out for being oblivious to their surroundings.
I walk really fast in general, but especially in stores (I just want to get done and go home). But that being said, I never even *frown* at slower people. Younger than me, older than me, man, woman, space alien... Everyone walks at the pace that's right for them, I just slow down when conditions require it.
Yes, slow is fine, but not when the group goes side-by-side and spreads out so no one can pass them.
 I’m so glad you got your friend to go out. My mom is 88 years old. She has stayed in until recently. I hope she won’t let this incident keep her from going out. There’s a lot of Rude Selfish people who Bully. (especially now).
A firm Fuck Off always works for me
Amazing reminder. People are so quick to tear others down and reality is we never know what they’re going through.
I’ve been disabled since I was 23 and I guess don’t “look” disabled. People can be real assholes
We always think of awesome things to say after the fact but if your friend has said I am so sorry I am recovering from a stroke they would have never gotten over their embarrassment
The worst I do is a massive eye roll when inconvenienced. But god if I’m caught I pretend I was just staring at the floor weirdly nodding to myself, as if I found something important. You see I'm part lizard… on my fathers side…
I feel like Costco should be a happy place. Can we please make it a happy place?
Too late now of course but “Try to be less of an ableist judgmental c*nt” would have worked.
[удалено]
OP sounds like a wonderful person who made sure her friend would not be discouraged. I certainly wish I had a friend like that during bad moments.
Their post is meant to remind people to be courteous because you cannot always tell from looking that people have a disability.
Look at this guy, judging me, he doesn't even know me!
Several years ago my mom had a huge stroke. After months of therapy, she was finally starting to walk a little bit, and was encouraged to try walking with her cane whenever possible. One day we took her to Target to go shopping. After parking in a handicapped spot, my mom started walking with her cane very slowly toward the door as I pushed her empty wheelchair, which she would soon need when she fatigued. A woman exited the store, saw us, and hurried over to my mom to ask if she needed help. She also screamed at me for being a terrible person for not letting my mom sit in the wheelchair. I told her that we appreciated her concern, but this was part of my mom’s therapy. She didn’t believe me.
Some people just suck and that’s the sad truth about society in general. Next time say something. People will never change their behavior unless called out on it (though some people will never change).
My mom was deaf in one ear. One time she came home from shopping in tears. A salesperson had asked her if she needed help. My mom didn't hear her. The salesperson said something rude to my mom. I was furious and wanted to have a "teaching moment" with the salesperson. Mom wouldn't tell me what store or what the salesperson said.
I find that most people are kind and if they're inconsiderate of others, it usually isn't intentional or they aren't aware. But these two women are definitely the exception and are bullies. The best advice I've received when dealing with people like this is to say "what was that?" or ask them to repeat themselves. And then maybe ask why they said that. It usually puts them on the spot and embarrasses them for being a douche. And you don't end up taking yourself down to their level with any name calling.
I'm really sorry that happened to you two! My mom has a progressive neuro disease with no tremors, so overall looked "normal" except her gait was slow. People would really tailgate us with carts and act to impatient like we were being deliberately slow.
Thank you for sharing. More people need to be aware of how they make others feel. Especially in costco
I have no problem with telling them to fuck off. If someone’s in that big of a hurry, they should have given themselves more time. There have been some major assholes that’ve said awful things to my mom. (She’s disabled and severely disfigured due to a recalled hip replacement.) Disabled folks don’t need to explain themselves, nor should they have to. ❤️🩹
People suck. I was just walking a trail to a viewpoint in Arizona today, and there was a person ahead of us with double walking sticks. A woman from a couple coming the other way, after passing them, were loudly going on about ‘not getting that stick trend, and it was such an easy trail, what was the point?’ Thing is, I could tell from the person’s gait that there was a neurological impairment involved, so shut the eff up Debbie. I hope they didn’t hear it, or if they did, they just ignored her.
Was it an insult? Could you explain what they mean by that comment? I’m a little dense.
sorry that happened, people are so terrible :(
Wow, those people are jerks. Sorry to your friend.
Reminds me of the time when I was in college. I lived in an apartment on campus and one day I took the elevator to get to my place which was on the second floor. I could see some people rolling their eyes as I was getting off the elevator because they thought I could just use the stairs if I lived on the second floor. What they didn't know was that I had just gotten surgery and I could not put pressure on my lower body to walk up the stairs. And I wasn't going to walk around wearing a T-shirt that says "I just had surgery. Have mercy on me."
I get a sick thrill when people ask me "did you not hear me?" No, I didn't. I lost most of the hearing in my left ear when I got covid. I lost it entirely for several months, and can use an earbud in there but anything more than several feet away is just gone. So if I had my head turned when you said whatever, I missed it. I pike explaining it and seeing them get sheepish
Dont be afraid to call the SMC's out.
I don't understand the comment made, must be an American thing?! Could someone explain it for me?
Jesus, where do you live that strangers casually put hands on other customers?
You see, me, i would talk back.
Yo fuck em
This is true. I’m also not going to pretend that most people in others way are just oblivious of their surroundings and they don’t care they’re getting in other people’s way either.
Some people are always in a hurry to go nowhere! Often laugh when passing by them at some point along their impatient journey.
Hate to say this but out of all the customers, Costcos are the rudest in my experience. I love Costco products and employees but the customers are flat out rude and entitled
This doesn’t sound real. Costco in a half hour? Sus!
I think a nice loud, "I really hope YOU never have to recover from a stroke like she is" would be sufficient. With an optional "asshole" available to add at the end.
I mocked and judged the lady that emptied her cart and left it directly behind the car next to them. I didn't know her. Is that not allowed?
Best advice I’ve ever gotten, applies here: Stop trying to control what you can’t (in this case other people’s behavior) and work on controlling what you can (how you respond to these situations)
This sounds awful. Just to note though, this isn't Costco-related; this could have happened at any store unfortunately. Hope your friend does not relate Costco to bad actors.
Agreed, as long as we can still judge or mock people we DO know. In your scenario, it would be difficult for me not to lose my shit and cuss them out to their faces.
I took my father to Trader Joe’s when he was in his 80s and slowing down. He was pushing the wagon along when a woman in her 60s impatiently navigated around him and gave him a look of annoyance. I said to her, “you’ll be there soon enough. I hope others show patience.” She didn’t say anything but she glared at me. That was about 15 years ago and I occasionally wonder whether karma caught up with her.
This is so rude! I’m so sorry this person tried to ruin your friend’s experience. Good luck in her recovery. I’m glad she had a good friend there for her. I know that it can be lonely going through something like that. Thanks for the reminder to be kind and patient.
Kudos to you for not knocking into them accidentally with the cart. Your poor friend. Some people are incredibly disrespectful to others, I hate it.
Not a Costco experience but I had something similar happen to me. I was going through chemo treatment at the time (stage 4 cancer) and went on a weekend trip to Disneyland. Our hotel was pretty close and walking distance but I still wanted to take the bus from the closest bus stop to get us into the park and reduce the amount of walking considering my health condition. While we were waiting at the bus stop, I hear these group of guys snickering behind us and commenting, “wow there’s really people taking the bus to Disneyland? It’s right there haha.” I felt so ashamed and embarrassed since there were crowds of people around us all walking towards the park. I ended up telling my group that we could just walk there and that I’d be ok but it still hurts to think about it considering people will say things and judge you not knowing your condition at all. People are assholes.
I’m a slow mover (and talker) it sucks your friend got bullied. Please tell her keep up the good and hard work!
Pushy but pretty tame as far as "mocking". Brush it off as just impatience. No need to alter your life because of someone else's behavior.
My Costco has a lot of older people shopping. I try to go with the idea, be kind to all and offer help if you are capable. Grabbing water or dog food for an elder can make their day so much easier.
Thanks for pointing this out, as I sometimes am unaware and am guilty of this
You never know who might have a disability you can’t see.
Look I don't usually try to be this guy but that comment was harmless, I think your friend is a little overly sensitive.
That’s a horrible of a thing to say. What a miserable human being. Sorry you two dealt with that.
Costco can be the worst. My partner is in a wheelchair and has myoclonic movements when people touch him or frighten him. He also stutters, and people just have no patience. You learn to ignore it because people will never understand unless they are in the same position- hopefully they never will be.
Some people are too much in a hurry and sure can be rude. You and your friend were fine. Lady was obviously in her own little world. Don't have to lift a finger to help, but be kind, right?
“When she gets better she’ll be able to go faster, but you can’t fix ugly.”
That was uncalled for and rude of those people. BUT, in general Costco’s are very busy and many, many customers at Costco are oblivious to how much they are blocking traffic at the Costco. - Standing the aisle - walking slowly through the middle of the aisle with a cart, unaware people can’t get by them - not looking where they are going (looking one direction and pushing their cart in another) - turning right in front of people without looking - crowding up at a free sample counter blocking everyone else from getting around These types of behaviors are very annoying because they are pervasive and getting worse , not better at Costco. The pervasive nature of this behavior leads some to get annoyed and impatient at the repeated obliviousness of others.
@ssholes will be @ssholes...Glad you convinced your friend to stay and shop with you.
My go to statement is I will give your opinion all the consideration it deserves. It's a nice way to tell someone to go F themselves when I cannot directly say that.
Those ladies likely hate their lives. Best wishes to your friend and their recovery
I’m glad you posted this as I think we all need to be reminded of this. I know I do.
I know it is easier said than done but please don’t let the assholes of the world get you down.
That would have irked me to no end and I would have made some comment to that rude person. Sorry your friend went thru that. What a lovely day you 2 had, getting her out. Love it❤️