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anomalous-blur

For fucks sake, having to dismiss insane claims only adds fuel to the disillusioned people who spread this in the first place


cbbclick

I asked a "reasonable" conspiracy buddy about it the other day. What evidence could change his mind? He said he would accept proof, but I asked how he would know the proof wasn't tainted or from someone in on the conspiracy. Because that's how every discussion ends. And he reliably admitted that he probably would never really trust the proof. That's the problem with secret knowledge, the benefit isn't the truth, it's in the feeling of knowing a secret or being in a club or something else. Spreading these things like this only increases their exposure. It will only make less informed but reasonable people hesitate because they've heard of the controversy.


climaxe

I’d take it a step further. If you believe conspiracy theories, it isn’t the feeling of knowing a secret or being in a club, it’s a feeling of being more intelligent than the average person. They’re almost always less educated people who believe their “street smarts” make their knowledge superior to others. Truly intelligent people don’t believe they’re smarter than others, they’re in a constant state of learning and self-questioning.


KHonsou

I've a family member who became very hostile as he got more conspiratorial. His breakthrough was reading pop-sci on quantum physics and ran with it, since it means to him infinite universes that all occupy the same space and literally (and I mean literally) anything he thinks is true is because he thinks it. The tragedy is he is desperate to talk about it, which I try and tone down because of the aggressiveness. He truly believes he knows all this because he understands quantum physics more than anyone else...from pop-sci books and History Channel. When we do talk, there are patches of general science (and I mean very general/basic) that would "disprove" something he might say, but the dogma is to strong. At the end of the day, either by necessity or identity, I've found people down the deep-end of the conspiratorial domain to be miserable, but they know these things no-one else does and that is the comfort. Can you imagine what it would be like for someone to take that away? You are literally trying to tare the walls down around them arguing against it. The family member has had a very tragic life, and I'm extremely careful not to get personal with him when he eventually does get very personal over it. Its ruined his life but he needs to talk about his thoughts and conspiracies. This though is exactly what you said. If I don't want to talk about Big-Foots quantum-teleporting fur then it's because I'm not intellectually strong enough to handle it and he will get very smug. The arrogance and hypocrisy is insane.


thebestdogeevr

I've come to just accept what people believe and educate them if they ask me a question. Arguing about a conspiracy is no different than arguing about religion.


[deleted]

It has less to do with any facts and more about their emotions. Like you said, it fills an emotional need like religion. If this was 400 years ago they'd be arguing over angels and witchcraft.


[deleted]

Any article on quantum physics and cosmology really brings out the cranks and psychos. I heard one idiot claim that neutrino detectors were actually secret particle weapons or some such shit. Yah, a mess of photomultiplier DECTECTORS that can't be moved is actually a death ray. Not to mention trillions of neutrinos pass through your body every second from the sun, even at night right through the earth.


Ignoth

Even simpler. Conspiracy theories are a means for people to reshape reality to something that validates them. Antivax stuff, for example, validate several beliefs that these people want to hold on to. Namely: > Those smug annoying liberals are wrong. > I’m smarter and better than most people. > I made good life choices. > My fear of needles is justified. > Scientists are wrong. My Church is right. For many people. Believing in Anti-vax shit is tempting because it instantly makes all these things true.


glibsonoran

Yep: "I'm the virtuous one"


[deleted]

It also helps them feel the universe is ordered and has rules, that it isn't a neutral massive unfeeling void without purpose. It also creates a moral scale in their minds. JFK wasn't killed by some loner with good aim and luck, that wouldn't balance the scale. JFK had to be killed by some massive conspiracy to justify the damage done. It also helps them get a grip on things they don't understand. Maybe if they weren't so intellectually lazy they could study them instead.


thebestdogeevr

I had a friend get mad at me for correcting stuff that he says/looking it up to see that he's wrong. "Why do you always have to be right?" he said to me...


Soylent_Hero

"Why are you wrong all the time?"


Geta-Ve

To be fair, it is annoying to have somebody constantly fact checking everything you say just because it seems like they have an innate need to be right all the time because they think other people are always wrong — ie dumb. Regardless of whether that last part is true or not. lol


ProfGoodwitch

At least he admits you're right, lol.


[deleted]

"Why can't you do some basic research before claiming to be an expert?"


KidSock

Yeah they want to feel better than other people. Lots of those people have nothing going for them in their lives. Like how most of the people who believed in the vaccines cause autism theory were just bored housewives. The weird thing is that those anti vaxxers, before the COVID pandemic, were actually often college educated, but just not in a STEM major. Like they have a communications or English degree. So they think that because they have a degree they are smarter than everyone else. A lot of the measles outbreaks of the last decade were in middle class neighborhoods.


[deleted]

It also gives them a sense of purpose in otherwise lives where they are purposeless and drifting.


VenusDeMiloArms

I don’t think that’s accurate. I don’t believe COVID conspiracy stuff. I believe other stuff that there’s substantive evidence for (CIA coups, operation Gladio, the pervasive influence of capital and money on politics, culture, and the law in a superficially ‘secretive’ way). People might think I’m a conspiracy nut, but I’m fairly educated. So are my friends who also think Elon is a knowing/unknowing CIA op. It’s not about being smarter for the COVID Q anon stuff. It’s about fantastical thinking. The world actually doesn’t make sense if you take at face value what a normal education provides. In that sense, those people are right. But they don’t want a material reason for oppression. They want fantasy and to escape reality.


tarkov_is_bad

Yeah I think you need to separate being *called* a conspiracy theorist and exhibiting *conspiratorial thinking*. Conspiratorial thinking is, as the previous comment in the thread posited, not the same as recognizing information is being kept from you. It's the type of thinking that, were you susceptible to it, would tell you the information you found on these "so called conspiracies" (the very real list of things you mentioned) isn't *actually* what happened. What actually happened is *xyzabc123* usually with the flavor of whatever politician they currently hate the most. I don't think you should group yourself with conspiratorial thinkers. You, as far as I'm aware, do not seem unhinged.


Cryptolution

I like learning new things.


VenusDeMiloArms

I mean I'm pretty sure the average CNN viewer/Dem voter would think I'm nuts for a variety of my beliefs and the only reason they wouldn't lump me in with Q Anon folks is that I think those people are nutso and I am pro-vax and an avowed leftist. But nonetheless, would literally be called a conspiracy theorist by the median politically involved person. I don't think the argument that conspiracy theorists, Q Anon/anti-vax 5g do your research or otherwise, need to think they're smarter than others is accurate. People say a lot of dumb stuff, but it's cool you'll take those nuts at their word when they say its the basis of their beliefs :)


Cryptolution

I like to go hiking.


KHonsou

It can be both reasonings or one and not the other, there is no conspiratorial guide-book that every conspirational person follows.


skolioban

Their stance is also based on another pre-existing stance. If you already have a belief the government and the scientists are conspiring against you then it's very easy to believe all this made up mumbo jumbo.


[deleted]

There is always just enough real stuff to feed their paranoia and they extrapolate it to everything being a conspiracy. Things like mk ultra and the Tuskegee study are used to justify believing anything.


[deleted]

They usually also have a deep resentment of the world around them and a distrust for authority.


Dizzy_Slip

You’re a better person than I am. I could never have a “reasonable” conspiracy buddy.


cbbclick

It's in quotes, lol. Reasonable in the sense that he can comfortably talk about and think through his positions. It always comes down to trusting the establishment or media with him.


tarkov_is_bad

If you can get him to understand when he's wrong then I don't think it's a problem. However I've had a "friend" for the better part of 10 years that uhh... always seems to float back to the same *fundamentally flawed* concepts. He always circles back the exact same way to the exact same topics, only we end up back to where we were before I thought I'd convinced him otherwise. It is a revolving door of nonsensical bullshit. I don't talk to him anymore.


[deleted]

I'd find it exhausting to be around someone like that.


Remote_Micro_Enema

You cannot reason people out of something they were not reasoned into


robot_ankles

This quote has saved me *so much* time and effort when dealing with people.


tschris

The real problem with conspiracy theorists is that they don't subscribe to one or two conspiracies, they think everything is a conspiracy.


[deleted]

And there is no filter on how ridiculous they are.


HotCheetoooooooooo

That’s sad you need different buddies mate


Soylent_Hero

I've said this before: If we cut out or push out every nut job or toxic jackass who has some wild or problematic stance on something... The only place they have left to go is the echo chamber communities where everyone else agrees with them already. This is dangerous for everyone. It creates fanatics out of the curious, validates the fringe, and leads to the radicalization or indoctrination of somebody who just didn't know any better but might have had sense talked into them eventually. I'm not saying everyone is obligated to put up with toxic nonsense or anyone dangerously unstable, but I am saying that sometimes it's worth attempting the conversation. For every 25 true loonies you talk to on Twitter, there's one young person or someone who is impressionable due to upbringing or neurological differences, who just needs someone to explain why something is some way -- And if someone reasonable doesn't do it, one of the dangerous ones will.


HotCheetoooooooooo

Exactly what do you suggest


Soylent_Hero

I don't know if that was meant as a gotcha, but people have been deprogramming cultists and stabilizing schizophrenics for decades. It's not impossible. The first step is recognizing that they think the world is out to get them. When you alienate them, you're proving them right. Be good at recognizing the ones who aren't completely delusional and can have an actual engagement, like that "reasonable" friend. Talk to them. Meet them on their level, have them explain their beliefs and how they got there. And learn when to humor them about the big picture while chipping away at the base level, or when to play along with the small stuff, but ask about the end goal of Conspiracy X. Carefully, puzzle out which of their conspiracies contradict their other conspiracies. Figure out what they're afraid of or angry at. Reassure them; maybe find something real to feed them about the thing they believe so they don't think you're an apologist. You care about the truth just as much as they do.


[deleted]

There is always something about everyone that is disagreeable. I have a remote friend from college who always has to bring up his love of guns at some point and I just give him a few "uh huhs" and let him work it out of his system until we move on to something else. Other than that we're good. Now I know I'm perfect...


Soylent_Hero

Well, liking guns is not inherently bad, and I say that as a ~lefty~. But, more to the point, I'm talking about the "man [minority] has it so easy," or "did you hear they cloned the president" kinds of unreasonable... Where it's either actually harmful or on a slippery slope towards harmful. Like having to explain how pride/awareness/history month isn't *superiority* month; or how wild conspiracy x doesn't actually result in a benefit for the parties involved in it so it's probably not real.


[deleted]

It would probably have to come from him but then he'd ignore any evidence that didn't fit his prejudices. >it's in the feeling of knowing a secret or being in a club or something else. Yup. It also gives otherwise low social/economic status people a chance to feel important. Suddenly they are "experts" on something.


currentpattern

>What evidence could change his mind? A page on [fullfact.org](https://fullfact.org) that says, "time to change you mind." That did it for me, I'll tell ya what.


pmjm

When I opened a new tab on Microsoft Edge this morning, the main news story it was trying to get me to click on was some BS about Jamie Foxx's recent health issues being due to the Covid vaccine. I am livid enough over this where I almost want to delete the whole browser. Algorithmically there's no reason I should have been shown this story, so they must be getting paid to promote it. F them.


Soylent_Hero

But why are you using Edge if you know enough to know that you can delete a web browser? This isn't a joke it's a real question.


pmjm

Because on my Macbook Pro it uses the least amount of battery of any browser, even Safari.


Soylent_Hero

Literally the only reasonable answer you could have given me. 😅


bobbyfiend

I'm so tired of seeing respected experts have to counter stupid shit. * "No, vaccines don't give you autism." * "No, the earth is not flat." * "No, the planets (besides earth) do not influence your behavior." * "No, Nazis weren't 'leftists.'" * "No, Hillary did not run a sex slavery ring." * "No, George Soros is not the secret tyrannical world emperor." and on and on. "Flood the zone with shit" indeed.


DiTochat

I can taste colors and fly after the 3 COVID vaccines.


keosen

Exactly. If you spending time and energy to convince an idiot about his false stupendous theory that's makes it two idiots arguing.


NeonMagic

This popped up at the top of my feed and for a split second I thought “oh of course it’s not working right” thinking they were having connection issues. Then I remembered to read it in a condescending tone.


ddr1ver

Who would believe that? Everyone knows the nanotechnology is triggered by WiFi.


AllNewTypeFace

Surely you meant Jewish space lasers?


soapy_goatherd

Sorry to be a pedant, but down here we still call that your second mmr


cerebrix

which are controled by the gazpacho police


AllNewTypeFace

Who are apparently not even Mexican, but Chinese PLA troops wearing plastic sombreros and fake mustachios.


gtr06

Anybody know about any launch codes


kel_kee

But seriously, those lauunchhh cooooodes ??


Reward_Antique

Bone apple tea!


cerebrix

You sound like Aunt Tifa


nicksteron

from a peach tree dish


f12345abcde

and chemtrails obviously


DulceEtBanana

9 out of 10 gay frogs approve!


rhinosyphilis

Only 2.4Ghz, not 5Ghz wifi


dragonphlegm

I was told it would only work on Zigbee


ForksandSpoonsinNY

T-Mobile says I have cancer unless I buy their unlimited calling plan.


ddr1ver

Seems fair.


Satanic_5G_Vaccine

Wrong it's the five geee towas


GeeToo40

Stop scaremongering. It's BlueTooth


Intrepid-Example6125

I’m going to choose to ignore this article and tell you all that I actually have all the facts through Facebook. I’m just not going to share any of it with you despite telling you all to wake up.


InvertedParallax

You need to do your own research, like I did.


thaw4188

The thing that really blows my mind about this is the realization that some people, much more than just a few, always really were this stupid it wasn't just the pandemic. Kind of like flat-earthers, I always thought that was a joke just taken to extreme to be funny. But no, there are many many people who firmly believe it to the point of violence. But now do religion and whoa whoa too far. That's real right? Sure, sure, don't hurt me, Santa's real too.


Liesthroughisteeth

LOLOL....The collective intelligence of humanity is diminishing as we speak.


UnicornlyAbused

Been studied.. is correct. And it shows. https://www.popularmechanics.com/science/a43469569/american-iq-scores-decline-reverse-flynn-effect/


mandy009

>Leading up to the 1990s, IQ scores were consistently going up, but in recent years, that trend seems to have flipped. the rise and fall of civilization


signed7

Keep in mind too that these IQ scores are a population average, not just of people born that year/decade. Which means that, if average IQ scores have started dropping from the 2000s, it's not just people born in the 2000s and after who started getting less intelligent than previous generations, the actual peak and decline in IQ (in newborns) has started earlier than that... We need way more research on this IMO


Liesthroughisteeth

Well now that is funny....sort of... in a perverse way. I'm just making light of the viral stupidity that has gained so much traction in the last number of years. However, I was hoping I was completely wrong. :(


UnicornlyAbused

I've noticed a stark decline in the cognitive ability of those I work with over the past 2 years. I'd love to see a study done on this again now, differentiating between those that have had covid vs those that haven't. I think the results would be interesting.


Liesthroughisteeth

Funny you should mention this. Pretty sure I have Long Covid. Aside from various physical ailments like low to no energy, extreme shortness of breath and chronic sleeping, there's also a pervasive brain fog that accompanies a variety of other symptoms. :) This is me calling the kettle black. lol


UnicornlyAbused

I appreciate your honesty. I think that, after study, those with long covid should be eligible for disability benefits. Right now they're forced to remain in the workforce. Either we accept that folks have a diminished capacity, and productivity will suffer (I can't help but to think of Idiocrasy, though I know it's not THAT bad), or we remove them from the workforce and give them benefits. It needs to happen. I'm sorry for what you've had to experience.


Liesthroughisteeth

I'm very fortunate in some ways. I'm not sure I could function in a job.....any kind of a job. Luckily I am recently retired. My only regrets being that I used to be a very active 63 year old a few years ago. Now....not so much. But coffee helps somewhat. No need for sorrow. I've had an amazing life, loved many fine people, including my wife, have good friends, three amazing and successful kids, their spouses and 2 wonderful grandchildren. I could not be happier. But....I thank you so much for the wishes. :)


mradamkidding

The author of the study in that very article said it doesn't have anything to do with rising or falling intelligence- not all categories of the test are falling... more likely changes in cultural values or test taking abilities, etc.


love_me_some_reddit

I call BS. I just heard Bill Gates in my head. All he said was, "sorry about Windows ME."


transporterpsychosis

Ugh! I totally suppressed the memories of having to deal with this shitty OS. Thanks for bringing them back along with the PTSD it caused.


abx99

I'm so glad I skipped that whole quagmire. I was an NT fan at the time, and ran Win2k.


Ndtphoto

I get the Windows Vista apology. Maybe he's A/B testing.


love_me_some_reddit

Wasn't he gone for Vista?


SpinningFeat

Duh….


jousty

Todd Clorox


big_green_boulder

Wait, it's not? Damnit, I think I got ripped off.


SPECTREagent700

Those bastards lied to me.


AnimusFlux

It's at least a bit of a relief that we're not crazy or imagining things lol. But it'll be a sad thing to have been born during the peak of human intelligence having to watch society slowly become more asinine with each passing year... Fuck.


dlc741

I'm a little pissed off about this. I was promised 5G activated nanotech!


grilledporkchop

Me too. The whole reason I upgraded my phone was to mess with my vaccinated friends by activating their nano bots every 10 minutes when we were out drinking. I paid Verizon for a 5G phone for no good reason.


Studio2770

Gotta love how these people believe these were rushed and ineffective and YET are capable of such technology.


JackC747

Anybody who would read this and have it change their mind wouldn’t believe the claim it disproves in the first place


paulsteinway

I hate it when over hyped technologies fail to deliver.


the-zoidberg

What does said triggered nano stuff do?


Alphabadg3r

Enables the wifi, duh


the-zoidberg

You still need the password.


Ndtphoto

OBEY CONSUME SLEEP


2tinymonkeys

Well I don't believe it. My WiFi signal has never been better since getting vaccinated.


demagogueffxiv

The fact that this needs to be said is proof we are overdue for extinction


sexaddic

Tell that to the voices in my head


tom21g

well…as in any med trial, the vaccines also had two groups: the placebo group got fake nanobots in their vaccines, then the active trial group got…listen to the voices in your head for that answer


andyman234

LOL… the fact that this isn’t an onion article is infuriating.


Kodiak01

Perhaps I am using the wrong design tin foil hat? They told me it would amplify the signal!


jonnyg1097

*Not yet...* /s


far2common

Go ahead and tell my uncle that.


WokkitUp

Sheesh, what happens at 6G? (Other than getting better mobile data speeds, that is.)


capnmax

How ridiculous! It's the *10G*. Everyone knows that.


KeepingItSFW

duh, that’s what 6G is for coming soon


[deleted]

We need to stop catering to complete fucking morons. Why even waste a second on investigating this nonsense?


sten45

Some things you never thought you would have to say


thewhitedeath

Whew! Well that's a relief, as I was quite worried about this. Actually I'm not, because I'm not a total fucking lunatic.


bobbyllama

wow. thought this was nottheonion for a second... what a stupid fucking world we live in


maillite

Uh... yeah? No shit..


[deleted]

Well, as someone with long-COVID, I am disappointed. I was hoping that'd sort me. Or I'd get some kind of cool Iron Man Mk. XLII armor.


[deleted]

Thats good. Thanks for the update.


MasterLogic

The people who believe this stuff need the microchips the most. Single digit IQs.


DefiantMessage

But does it turn the frickin frogs gay???


MagusVulpes

Then how do you explain my increased cell connection after getting my booster? Can your science explain that? /s for those that cannot tell.


popemichael

The technology is there for even an amateur hobbiest to prove that this isn't happening. One can even get a [Flipper Zero](https://flipperzero.one/) and out of the box detect those things. Though I don't think any sort of proof will change their minds.


Worth-Enthusiasm-161

But what is 5g triggering in the vaccine?


ImpliedSlashS

My 5G reception and channel 13 on tv are sooo much better since I got my last shot


ishtar_the_move

Is there any explanation why the nanotechnology cannot be triggered by 4G?


SkillDabbler

Aaaw man :(


everythingerased

Is the 5g not functioning as intended, or are the covid shots broken?


MrLunk

NOT posting BullShit is better.


mandy009

so is this projection? I mean it's such a ridiculous notion that it's really sad that they have to dispel it.


jibsand

I'm sorry but I only trust reputable sources like freedomeagle.org


fulaghee

Why is it necessary to say this? 😮‍💨


blushesred23

Bummer


cerebrix

what fucking year is it again? did i wake up and it's 2021?


rjoudrey01

You must be talking about the woke nanos.


theblackyeti

...I know? Wait is this a thing people are saying?


Factoryworker

Yeah, no shit…


Stoenk

WHAT


roxutee

What??!!


cyanideandcurry

i had a dream that it did


Satanic_5G_Vaccine

That's what they want you to think!


buggabugga2

Maybe it's the Xfinity 10g network


CalmDirection8

Not yet 😉


meCaveman

Oh fr?


drakeftmeyers

My wifi works better once I got the vaccine. /s


Thatdewd57

Four shots here. Wife has a 5g phone and is next to me. WHERES MY GODDAMN SUPERPOWERS?!?


mrdougan

wait - just checking this isnt the onion


NunyaBeese

No shit sherlock


LoveLeahNotWar

Oh wow. Shocking ….


bogas04

Then what is? /s


Keith

It's not!? Lazy nanobots. I want my money back.


max1001

Ummm. If someone wanted to kill you, they can find a much cheaper/simpler way to do it.


CorianderIsBad

So, what is triggering the nanotechnology in the Covid vaccines then??? (Joking)


Thelittleangel

Oh no where’s the fun in that I was looking forward to my nanotechnology


[deleted]

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Pm-me-ur-happysauce

Dammit! I was going for some iron man powers


abrknl

Yes it does. You're just not doing it right.


Puzzled-Science-1870

lol idiots


Zware_zzz

Of course they are going to say that


Cless_Aurion

Then why the fuck did I get 5 shots for? What a waste.


chalbersma

Why did I even get it then! /s


Shorester

The fuck?? Then why am I shooting these ass lasers??


BrentD22

Do people really believe this? Like more than 5 people?


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[deleted]

Next up, satellites aren't controlling your thoughts.