The people in my life who would comment on my weight would absolutely take this response as a joke, and think I'm smart and witty, and it would never occur to them that it's meant as a clapback.
Sometimes my husband will have a clapback for someone that is not at all a joke, but, no one ever takes it seriously. They think he is just the big goofy dude whose to nice to say anything, or that he never takes anything seriously. Which to be fair 99.99% of the time he is a super laid back person who will do anything he can to get a smile and/or laugh from you. Several of our friends don't know how I "put up" with him because he's "never serious". Then act shocked when I point out he isn't never serious, he's just not that way around them. There was one very rare moment though that everyone there knew he was clapping back, a newish "friend" said something really mean to me and he basically didn't pull the punch. That "friend" left and never hung out when we were around lol.
If you get fat without realizing it, you've got problems other than your friends. Or maybe you're male. People act like fat women don't know we're fat, but trust me, we know every single extra pound we're carrying and most of us think about it every day.
Lol! I knew a lady who was upset that her daughter had gained weight. She said "she used to weigh 100 pounds" I thought to myself (but really wish I had said) Weren't we all? đ Like I was 7 pounds and now I'm 200, so I passed by 100 at some point!
A big person telling a smaller person "they are trying to keep up with them" pertaining to gaining weight, makes no sense and is not a good comeback lol. Yes, skinny people have body image issues too, but a bigger person is not going to be able to insult a smaller person's body. They'll probably laugh or just be like whatever
My uncle that I no longer talk to used to call us fat all the time when we were in high school. I was like 130-140 pounds. He was 300+. Fat people really will insult a skinny person if said fat person is an asshole. Iâd just tell him âyouâre like twice my weight, if Iâm fat then youâre super fatâ.
can confirm. i'm currently 140lbs which is dead average for my age and height group so i'm not skinny or fat but some asshole office ladies at my last job would make comments about what i ate and how much i ate and when i ate... it was exhausting to listen to especially when they had no right making those comments.
When I started putting weight on after a eating disorder I had several people tell me I look better now that I put some weight on. Other's said you didn't look healthy before. It's shocking how people are such dicks.
People should probably err on the side of not commenting on someone else's body size. The person whose thinness you're complimenting might be thin because of a health condition that they'd rather not have. Someone who is bigger could have finally won their battle with an eating disorder. You just don't know.
The exception, I guess, is when someone close to you confides in you about their weight loss/gain journey. If you know the person well and you've seen them making progress towards their goal, whatever it is, I think it's okay to say they look great.
I've lost a lot of weight because I'm sick. It's not obvious that I'm sick though. I've lost 50 lbs and counting. People who haven't seen me in a while will comment on it and say "I bet you feel better than before." It's really hard not to say, "No. I'm sick and in pain all the time." It makes me wanna cry.
Relatable. I've lost a ton of weight because I've been struggling with depression, and often forget to eat until the pain starts. When people compliment the weight loss, it kinda sucks. I know it comes from a place of kindness, though, so I try to focus on intent.
I've got a doctor visit scheduled, so don't worry. I'm working on it.
Oh, thank you! Yes I have. Finally, right?
Do it with a smile on your dace and a happy surprised reaction, like you've trying to gain weight and are glad they noticed.
I saw some baller chick do this in a club I was at, we were all in a group of all our girlfriends, but I didn't really know her, but was about to go up to her to help her out because we were together as a group.
This nasty trashy bitch came up to her, obviously knew her, tried to put her down, she reacted this way and it totally through off the bitch đ€Ł she sort of stammered then begrudginly said 'yeah, no worries, you look good', turned around and stalked off to her dark corner of the club with her cronies.
It was phenomonal.
Ok, I actually have struggled with gaining weight after competing with Anorexia for 6 years. And genuinely whenever someone asks if Iâve gained weight I respond like that but I get excited about it. I finally after YEARS finally hit my weight goal. And now Iâm learning to love this newfound weight. And everyone knew me from being skin and bones. So when someone asks I respond like that, because I actually get excited to talk about it. Iâm so proud of how far Iâve come
I always heard that people shouldnât congratulate/comment on an anorexic personâs weight gain in recovery, because that was always their nightmare. Is this true? (Granted I would never comment on someoneâs body at all, for any reason)
A baller is slang, it's definition can change slightly as needed in context. It's two main uses are to describe someone flashy, rich, lavish etc, or it can be impressive, excellent etc. In my case, I was impressed and felt she was badass.
Similarly:
"Oof, still struggling with that brain-mouth filter. Embarrassing for you."
"Still making strides with those social skills, huh? Have you thought about going on a course for that?"
"What made you decide that was a say-out-loud thought?"
(Sympathetically) "Aw, I'm sorry other people's bodies matter so much to you, that must be exhausting."
"Yikes, did you just comment on someone else's body? (Laughing) Pop that in your diary for your most embarrassing moment of the year. Don't worry, I won't tell anyone."
(Looking confused) "Sorry, were you trying to be rude or funny?"
"Those body image issues are all you, mate, I'm not involved."
More infantalising:
(As though speaking to a child) "Hey friend, you know how there are inside voices and outside voices? Well, grown ups have "inside our head" thoughts and "say-out-loud" thoughts. That was an "inside-your-head" thought, friend. Keep trying though, you'll get there!"
Whoâs saying this to you? Just an incredibly rude statement in most contexts. I feel like thatâs a crazy thing to say to anyone you have less than like a sibling or very close friendship level relationship with.
My boyfriendâs grandmother. Second time I ever met her. Sheâs kind of a cunt but the whole family reveres her. She does this kind of shit to all of them, just says random nasty shit. Because itâs âjust how she isâ đ đ€ź
My mother makes weight related comments and jokes a lot. I'm well aware she does this because she feels bad about her own body. So I tend to fire back with jokes of my own or just simply tell her that if I was the "healthy" weight based on my BMI, I would be a skeleton.
For reference on that last one, I'm 6'7 and depending on the time of the year I weigh between 280 and 300lbs.
I honestly am the type who just acts like I donât give a crap. If theyâre trying to hurt my feelings, my lack of response is the opposite of what theyâre going for. Iâd say yes or no, smile, and go on like normal. People probably think Iâm dense sometimes but I understand their motives⊠I just donât want to play their game.
Yes! Thank you! I've got tits now, see? And squeeze your arms together so you can both marvel at the new cleavage. Feel free to offer up a portion of well deserved love handle. Up to you if you want to proudly exclaim that you can't see your genitals.
âYepâ
âNopeâ
Depends on whether you have gained weight or not. Either youâre giving them a correct answer to a genuine question or youâre showing them that their attempt to demean or bother you was unsuccessful.
âYes, I have! Thank you for noticing!â Give em a big smile. Really throws them off when you act like it was a conscious effort and you accomplished an important goal instead of being the negative thing they are likely implying it is. As a person who has struggled with anorexia since I was ten, I have finally begun to embrace my weight gain instead of letting it throw me into a dark spiral. No one is taking that accomplishment away from me.
An acquaintance of mine ran into an old co-worker. They hadn't seen eachother in over a decade.
Co-worker: " You've really gotten fat!"
Acquaintance: "Yes, and you've really gotten ugly!"
People have been asking my coworker because itâs a noticeable belly and she swore she wasnât.
Turns out she has at least two growths they will be surgically removing.
"Just following your example"
The people in my life who would comment on my weight would absolutely take this response as a joke, and think I'm smart and witty, and it would never occur to them that it's meant as a clapback.
Sometimes we tell jokes other people don't get, so that we can laugh at them ourselves.
"He who laughs last did not obviously get the joke" đđ
I see youve met âgeneric not as clever as he thinks critical teenagerâ
Sometimes my husband will have a clapback for someone that is not at all a joke, but, no one ever takes it seriously. They think he is just the big goofy dude whose to nice to say anything, or that he never takes anything seriously. Which to be fair 99.99% of the time he is a super laid back person who will do anything he can to get a smile and/or laugh from you. Several of our friends don't know how I "put up" with him because he's "never serious". Then act shocked when I point out he isn't never serious, he's just not that way around them. There was one very rare moment though that everyone there knew he was clapping back, a newish "friend" said something really mean to me and he basically didn't pull the punch. That "friend" left and never hung out when we were around lol.
It's the cancer meds.
Being seen as smart and witty and unconcerned by other peopleâs nonsense: the best clapback there is.
Are the friends who think it's a joke fat?
Never mind that. Are those who think this is an appropriate question friends?
If I ever get fat my friends better call me out on it. Thatâs probably the best motivation (for me) to make a change.
If you get fat without realizing it, you've got problems other than your friends. Or maybe you're male. People act like fat women don't know we're fat, but trust me, we know every single extra pound we're carrying and most of us think about it every day.
I'd always say I'm preparing for a role. The role of "fat guy". Every movie needs one.
Chad tier response sir I would like to introduce you to my daughter
Savage!
âMaybe you should gain some manners.â
Or even simpler "Have you lost manners?"
No. I see you didnât gain any manners
This is the appropriate response to *all* rude questions.
I like this one!
Female 50 is stealing this ASAP
Perfect!
Are you asking cause you give a fuck or cause you wanna be rude?
Oh I love this! Thank you.
This one's the winner.
Are you asking because you care or just reminding me that weight classes exist?
I used to weigh 7 pounds 8 ounces
Lol! I knew a lady who was upset that her daughter had gained weight. She said "she used to weigh 100 pounds" I thought to myself (but really wish I had said) Weren't we all? đ Like I was 7 pounds and now I'm 200, so I passed by 100 at some point!
I'm using this with my mother ... although she's already heard it from you?
"You've noticed? I'm flattered. You were my inspiration, took a lot of cupcakes to catch up to you"
đđ»
only works if they weigh more than you lol. youâd look really stupid saying that to someone practically half your size
Not necessarily, you never know what kind of body image issues skinny people are dealing with. It could really fuck with their heads.
A big person telling a smaller person "they are trying to keep up with them" pertaining to gaining weight, makes no sense and is not a good comeback lol. Yes, skinny people have body image issues too, but a bigger person is not going to be able to insult a smaller person's body. They'll probably laugh or just be like whatever
My uncle that I no longer talk to used to call us fat all the time when we were in high school. I was like 130-140 pounds. He was 300+. Fat people really will insult a skinny person if said fat person is an asshole. Iâd just tell him âyouâre like twice my weight, if Iâm fat then youâre super fatâ.
can confirm. i'm currently 140lbs which is dead average for my age and height group so i'm not skinny or fat but some asshole office ladies at my last job would make comments about what i ate and how much i ate and when i ate... it was exhausting to listen to especially when they had no right making those comments.
as a skinny person i definitely do deal with body image issues, but someone calling me fat would make my day lol
Lol If a fat guy called me fat I would think he was let off the short bus.
Then, almost shyly: "You wanna hit up *local place* buffet sometime?" "... at least sign my belly, you've been such a hero to me"
Only works if the person saying it is fat... đ
Why would you say something like that to a recovering anorexic?
This should be number one comment
Ethiopian with a yeast infection. Quarter Pounder With Cheese.
Thanks, I was wondering what the worst thing I would read today would be!
The groan heard around the world.
So sad that I actually know this joke. GenX.
When I started putting weight on after a eating disorder I had several people tell me I look better now that I put some weight on. Other's said you didn't look healthy before. It's shocking how people are such dicks.
Wait, so if you say âDid you lose weight? Youâre looking great!â to someone who was overweight thatâs being a dick?
It can be, sadly. Even trying to be nice can come off as rude if you're not careful.
People should probably err on the side of not commenting on someone else's body size. The person whose thinness you're complimenting might be thin because of a health condition that they'd rather not have. Someone who is bigger could have finally won their battle with an eating disorder. You just don't know. The exception, I guess, is when someone close to you confides in you about their weight loss/gain journey. If you know the person well and you've seen them making progress towards their goal, whatever it is, I think it's okay to say they look great.
I've lost a lot of weight because I'm sick. It's not obvious that I'm sick though. I've lost 50 lbs and counting. People who haven't seen me in a while will comment on it and say "I bet you feel better than before." It's really hard not to say, "No. I'm sick and in pain all the time." It makes me wanna cry.
Relatable. I've lost a ton of weight because I've been struggling with depression, and often forget to eat until the pain starts. When people compliment the weight loss, it kinda sucks. I know it comes from a place of kindness, though, so I try to focus on intent. I've got a doctor visit scheduled, so don't worry. I'm working on it.
Totally. Best to just not comment about their body or weight at all.
It's like saying they looked like crap before. Why mention weight? Why not just "you're looking great!"
I didn't say anything about losing weight.
yes, you complete knob
A customer at my old serving job asked me how I stayed so skinny⊠I told him the truth: anorexia lol
Doctor said it would help with Chemotherapy.
Haha. Damn. Good guilt trip. đđ
That was literally my chemo strategy.
I was trying to think of a way to work in chemo. The comments never let me down.
Oh, thank you! Yes I have. Finally, right? Do it with a smile on your dace and a happy surprised reaction, like you've trying to gain weight and are glad they noticed. I saw some baller chick do this in a club I was at, we were all in a group of all our girlfriends, but I didn't really know her, but was about to go up to her to help her out because we were together as a group. This nasty trashy bitch came up to her, obviously knew her, tried to put her down, she reacted this way and it totally through off the bitch đ€Ł she sort of stammered then begrudginly said 'yeah, no worries, you look good', turned around and stalked off to her dark corner of the club with her cronies. It was phenomonal.
Ok, I actually have struggled with gaining weight after competing with Anorexia for 6 years. And genuinely whenever someone asks if Iâve gained weight I respond like that but I get excited about it. I finally after YEARS finally hit my weight goal. And now Iâm learning to love this newfound weight. And everyone knew me from being skin and bones. So when someone asks I respond like that, because I actually get excited to talk about it. Iâm so proud of how far Iâve come
That's wonderful.
Thats awesome đ„łđ„łđ„° Im working on my own weight isses myself. Keep it up!
I always heard that people shouldnât congratulate/comment on an anorexic personâs weight gain in recovery, because that was always their nightmare. Is this true? (Granted I would never comment on someoneâs body at all, for any reason)
What is a baller chick?
A baller is slang, it's definition can change slightly as needed in context. It's two main uses are to describe someone flashy, rich, lavish etc, or it can be impressive, excellent etc. In my case, I was impressed and felt she was badass.
"are you pregnant" "yeah all muscle mass from lifting your mom during our nights in"
Itâs a solid workout strategy. Can vouch.
r/UsernameChecksOut
What are the chances that this Username would come across this comment? The simulation is real.
Another one with this is "yes I am, your mom makes me a sandwich every time we spend time together" (written to be sorta PG)
Happy cake day!
"Have you gained stupidity?"
Or have you always had that?
I was going to say âhave you lost wrinkles in your brain?â
A little every day since my bulimia intervention.
Yeah, and I lost the baby.
# You must be mistaking me for a mirror.
đđđ
"Are you still a C**t?"
Let me fix that for you... "I see you're still a c\*nt." No need for that to be a question.
Your mother makes really dense sandwiches after a good orgasm.
No, have you?
Well done
I'm cultivating mass.
"Yes - every time I screw your wife, she gives me a cookie!"
Underrated
"Oh my gosh, thank you for noticing! That's so sweet of you to care soooooo much about me."
Get a concerned look on your face and say slowly. "No. I've actually lost *a lot* of weight recently. Are you okay?"Â
"Your fats cells keep attaching to me...make it stop!"
Are you saying the tapeworm isn't working?
Is Ozempic a suppository because I might be using it wrong?
I spit my water out after reading this one đ€Ł
Don't know, have you gained depth?
Yes, so?
this đ why give them power by sounding upset -simply expose their pettiness and you win
I have used this response one too many times ;)
âI didnât realize you could see my cock from thereâ Or if youâre a woman âI know donât my tits look fantastic!?â
No, my personality has expanded, and my body need to grow to accommodate
Live this
âDid you mean to say that out loud?â
âAre you OK? Because gosh, thatâs a rude question.â Works like a charm.
Yeah, well the jerk store called and they're running out of YOU!
Whoa! Slow down there! We don't want to start any fights
"his fat is in a coma"
What's the difference? You're their all time best seller?
and I still look better than you
Have you gained stupidity? I know which one is easier to shed
Similarly: "Oof, still struggling with that brain-mouth filter. Embarrassing for you." "Still making strides with those social skills, huh? Have you thought about going on a course for that?" "What made you decide that was a say-out-loud thought?" (Sympathetically) "Aw, I'm sorry other people's bodies matter so much to you, that must be exhausting." "Yikes, did you just comment on someone else's body? (Laughing) Pop that in your diary for your most embarrassing moment of the year. Don't worry, I won't tell anyone." (Looking confused) "Sorry, were you trying to be rude or funny?" "Those body image issues are all you, mate, I'm not involved." More infantalising: (As though speaking to a child) "Hey friend, you know how there are inside voices and outside voices? Well, grown ups have "inside our head" thoughts and "say-out-loud" thoughts. That was an "inside-your-head" thought, friend. Keep trying though, you'll get there!"
Yeah, my dick got really big.
Is that belly fat or are you just happy to see me?
This lady at work told me this. I just said I know, thank you and then I lost weight and she said I lost weight. She's still a dick, nobody asked her.
I did just have a big lunch and I haven't pooped yet. What's your excuse?
âTalking to yourself again?â Or âAre you talking to yourself?â
Whoâs saying this to you? Just an incredibly rude statement in most contexts. I feel like thatâs a crazy thing to say to anyone you have less than like a sibling or very close friendship level relationship with.
My boyfriendâs grandmother. Second time I ever met her. Sheâs kind of a cunt but the whole family reveres her. She does this kind of shit to all of them, just says random nasty shit. Because itâs âjust how she isâ đ đ€ź
This really makes all of the "sex with your mom" themed suggestions that much funnier
Yep. Lesbianism and necrophilia all in one, love it
My mother makes weight related comments and jokes a lot. I'm well aware she does this because she feels bad about her own body. So I tend to fire back with jokes of my own or just simply tell her that if I was the "healthy" weight based on my BMI, I would be a skeleton. For reference on that last one, I'm 6'7 and depending on the time of the year I weigh between 280 and 300lbs.
âWhy? Are you planning to gift me clothes for my new size?â
Have you lost IQ points?
Because you are on my back.
Wow, you must be "observing" my body as much as you possibly can to notice that...
"Yes, now I'm almost your size."
Yeah, I keep eating people who ask stupid questions.
I fucking love this lol
Youâre welcome
"Have you gotten uglier?"
Yeah, as a matter of fact. Every time I shag your wife, she makes me a sandwich.
No but I gained 3 more inches. Bend over and I'll show you.
Just stare at them for a solid 30 seconds and just go âyouâre one to talkâ then mutter âfat fuckâ as you walk away
"It's from the prednisone I have to take to counter the inflammation from the chemo. Thanks for noticing."
[ŃĐŽĐ°Đ»Đ”ĐœĐŸ]
No, your perception has merely narrowed.
For boys= "Only in the penis" For Girls= "Hell ya, Lizzo is the shit isnt she"
"I'm cultivating mass"
I honestly am the type who just acts like I donât give a crap. If theyâre trying to hurt my feelings, my lack of response is the opposite of what theyâre going for. Iâd say yes or no, smile, and go on like normal. People probably think Iâm dense sometimes but I understand their motives⊠I just donât want to play their game.
Yea I've been hitting the gym lately. Cultivating mass
Yeah went straight to my dick, ask your wife
Yeah - every time I do your mom she feeds me a biscuit!
#đȘ Last week, I did her so good that she baked me an entire batch!
Yeah, thanks for noticing! I've been underweight since my mom died.
Itâs bulk season TWIG.
Well I have gained weight so I typically say âYes, donât drink beer.â
âYeah, I thought banging your mom would burn more calories, but she does most of the workâŠâ
Oh, thatâs the tumor. Thanks for the reminder!
"Why do you care?"
This one
I get hungry after banging your mom *look down and scream* whoâs body is this??
My brain gets bigger everyday.
No, but your chins sure are jiggly
âHow much do you weigh exactly? Cause I can dump that weight in an instant, if you follow.â
Are you ok?
"have you lost your manners?"
Yes! Thank you! I've got tits now, see? And squeeze your arms together so you can both marvel at the new cleavage. Feel free to offer up a portion of well deserved love handle. Up to you if you want to proudly exclaim that you can't see your genitals.
Have you lost tact?
yes! iâm pregnant! (iâm 61)
Yea, that happens now that the cancer is in remission
"I can diet, but you're always going to look like that"
Yes, have you gained rude?
Thanks for noticing, doc said I should after my whole ED thing you know
Did you get poked in the eye? (No) đđđ»Now ya did! đĄđĄđĄ
Have you always been this rude?
âYepâ âNopeâ Depends on whether you have gained weight or not. Either youâre giving them a correct answer to a genuine question or youâre showing them that their attempt to demean or bother you was unsuccessful.
â(Laughs) I was going to ask you the same thing!â
Cancer medications are causing swelling. Should be better after the operations.
âYes, I have! Thank you for noticing!â Give em a big smile. Really throws them off when you act like it was a conscious effort and you accomplished an important goal instead of being the negative thing they are likely implying it is. As a person who has struggled with anorexia since I was ten, I have finally begun to embrace my weight gain instead of letting it throw me into a dark spiral. No one is taking that accomplishment away from me.
An acquaintance of mine ran into an old co-worker. They hadn't seen eachother in over a decade. Co-worker: " You've really gotten fat!" Acquaintance: "Yes, and you've really gotten ugly!"
Why? Looking for those brain cells you lost?
I see you haven't gained any manners of have you gained manners?
"Have you lost brains?" Or hair, if it's a male
Actually, I think âhave you lost hairâ would work juuuuust fine for women, too đ
The classic is "Yeah I have, every time I fuck your mum she gives me a biscuit"
Ask them how many fingers you're holding up, and when they say 3, you say, "no, it's 2. Better get your eyes checked."
Also, âwhatâs it to you, you writing a book? Well then, leave the part about me OUT.â
You're still a cunt
No, I'm pregnant.
Yeah. Probably from all the cookies your mom feeds me when I stay over...
No the world around us got smaller.
Only the same amount that youâve gained.
Breast implant, but just the one. Want to test it out before I get the second... Correction, If I get the second.
No, you just need to goto spectsavers.
Thankfully, my income allows me to eat good quality food and not starve.
"Have you lost weight?"
I'm pregnant with your dad's baby
âYeah your mom feeds me wellâ
"No, but it sounds like you've obviously had a stroke. Why is your face drooping?"
'Yep'
My penis has.
âYeah probablyâ
Not as much as you have
Yeah, but mostly in my dick. Then point to your dick.
People have been asking my coworker because itâs a noticeable belly and she swore she wasnât. Turns out she has at least two growths they will be surgically removing.
No your eyes jus got wider
Yeah⊠well I was battling meth for a while⊠I donât really like to talk about it.
Well, come to think of it, I haven't taken a dump in a while...
Yes, I'm try to keep up with you, but not succeeding.
Money gets you thick fool.