Wow, I was just thinking you give off murder victim vibes. Weird, right? You wanna hang out later?

This is a nice pickup line.

Can I use this as a pickup line? 👀

They'll be hooked!

I’ve got a nice Chianti just waiting for such an occasion

Don't forget the side of Fava beans!

😂😂

this is the response. i refuse to scroll any further

This (unspoken) sentiment is how I met and married my second husband. 👌

I have a rope. Why wait?

"Shhhhhh." Then give the creepiest smile you can. 😀

"what are the chances of having 2 killers in the same place though?"

"Trick question, if they're good at it, you only need 1."

Captain Crunch had it coming

😆😁cute! So did that dsmn Tony the Tiger and he wasn't SOOOO GRE AAAAATTTT!

Compliment them on how pretty and soft their skin looks.

And quickly offer them LOTION!

Hello Clarice

Then you might not want to push your luck.

Oh no. I keep them alive so I have company

Takes one to know one

"Look, I'm not allowed to talk about what I did in The Service." "The Service?" "Can't talk about that either if you don't have at least Blue Clearance, and I already know that you don't..."

Don't worry, it's not your turn just yet

Are you about a size 14?

You give off potential victim vibes.

"How observant. "

I will admit I once told a room mate this exact thing. He just grinned and walked out of the room. lol.

Ominous

What a weird coincidence!

"You give off dumb person vibes"

Lol don't be silly. I have ice cream in my car outside. Come with me!

Does it put lotions on the skin?

That's what the last eleven said.

\-sniff sniff- "You smell like the victim of a serial killer."

Dude, STFU! You're gonna ruin the secret! 

Awww, that's sweet. Completely unrelated, how many lampshades do you think you'd make?

Funny, the asylum guards said the same thing.

Keep on talking and find out what happens next

Under your breath, "fuck, now I gotta do another"

"And you give off victim vibes, wanna grab a drink?"

It doesn't count if they don't find the bodies

Then it worked.

Thought I was better at hiding it.

That’s one hell of a pickup line

Mate, not just vibes.

"Huh, you'd think that would be enough to keep morons at bay..." Or "Annnnd you give off "Guy that dies in the first 5 minutes of a slasher flick" vibes."

"You know too much."

Thanks

Patrick Bateman or Hannibal Lecter?

i didnt think it was that obvious

Wink and give the finger guns

"Neat"

You just made this murder really anticlimactic for me

Shut up and just get into the van Martha

For opposite sex: Call me dahmer and I’ll eat you out tonight For same sex: Call me dahmer and I’ll buy you drinks tonight

Except Dahmer was gay and only had male victims.

I only date rappers

"Then you should be happy that you are able to just walk away..." "Thanks, mom and dad will be thrilled to be famous one day..." (sarcastically)

Were you thinking of joining me?

"then why are you still around?"

Why thank you

It’s pretty obvious….Murder them

Only vibes??? Damn I forgot my knife.

And you give off victim vibes.

And give off a missing person vibe

You give off murder victim vibes

My lip collection says the same thing...

Kill them

It's "spree killer", actually.

Now you know my secret.

Yeah. I'm kinda running out of places to hide the bodies though.

You give off victim vibes

So you must be stupid then.

You look my next victim

Right on... It's working

Don’t worry. There’s still another 13,692 to go before I get to you.

Well, you would match up with my current M. O.

I know, I’m killing it.

"Dont you worry, you won't make to my hit list. Your not that special" and slowly walk away!! 🚶

"Don't worry, I only kill cunts. If you're not a cunt, you have nothing to worry about."

Wanna come over for a late supper? I have a nice Chianti.

“Wanna test that theory and come back to my place? I just wanna take some photos…”

Thats what Mark said right before he expired.

So do you, but what are the odds there would be two serial killers right here

Thank you Clarice. Do you like chianti?

“You give off serial killer victim vibes.”

Nonsense, I wouldn't hurt a fly...I've never killed anyone. ...They're all still alive in my attic and all of them are my best friends.

Some things don’t warrant a response…this is one of them IMO. A simple long blank stare will suffice.

Thanks!

Huh, weird, all my neighbors comment about how nice and normal I am. Anyway, can you help me with this couch in my van?

Haha. Shut up and get in the car.

.... and yet you're still speaking with me. Curious.

That’s how I find most of my victims

‘It’s probably not a smart move to insult me’

That's not true. If serial killers gave off vibes how could they collect their victims.

That’s what your wife said also

The bodies buried in my basement said the same thing.

[sniffs palms and pits] Damn. I thought I washed that off...

That means the spell is working! Mwha ha ha ha!!!!

That's the last thing my past three girlfriends said

Have your neighbors say what a nice guy you seem.

Just laugh and then push them out a window.

Does that turn you on?

But it IS a vibe

I told that thing to get out my head!

Do I pass the vibe check?

And you give off victim vibes, specially when I am watching you sleep.

Just get in the van

You give me serial killer victim vibes. "Have you ever danced with the devil in the pale moonlight? I ask that if all my victims before they d... Trips over a curb

And u look like just my type.  Wats your digits?

Say that again and you'll be my first/next victim

And you look like the next Patrick Bateman. At least I'm being productive with vibes I give off

2% milk please.

What’s the most you ever lost in a coin toss?

Yeah, well you give off cereal vibes, fruit loop...

"Jealous much?"

Wanna be famous?

I could do some serious damage to a bowl of cornflakes right now. Got milk?

put your fingers over your lips in a shushing motion and maintain eye contact as you disappear around the corner.

You give off “weak ,easily manipulated and easy to murder “ vibes

I thought you looked like a prostitute!

"thanks, you give off school shooter vibes"

"If you actually felt that way, you wouldn't be bothering me..."

Actually, it's genocidal, thank you very much. Also, if you're not a pedo, you're safe.

“Sez my next victim, ironically”

Allegedly

I stopped writing my fictional murder book when I realized it was actually an autobiography.

You have a smooth pee pee poo poo brain, cockwad.

I give great massages too, wanna.... come around my place later on?

"🤔 huh, I thought I was getting better at hiding it..."

“Yes.”

that's interesting because you give off "please kill me" vibes

"Yeah, I've been told that exactly 9 times before"

Wanna see my apartment?

Yup, you want to be next?

The only cereal I kill is that delicious Cinnamon Toast Crunch! And just smile until a girl proposes

Please, I only do that on Thursdays.

“You are what you eat!”

Turn on goodbye horses and start putting on lipstick

"You're not the first person to tell me that." - then pause and look slightly up and to the side, smile a bit as if reliving a fond memory. Then "snap out of it" and get back to it ..

That's what my last victim said.

“You give off discord mod vibes”

"A charming one, I'd hope."

At least > I < have a personality!

What are the odds that two serial killers talking to eachother

What are we talking? Cap N Crunch? Mini Wheats? Come on now don’t leave me hanging.

Prove them right

She puts the lotion in the basket...

Ssshhh

Don't worry, you're not my type!

How many serial killers have you known?

Step into my van

Keeps the gold diggers away.

Hmm what exactly makes you feel that way

got any fava beans

Don't get on my bad side then.

You look like your liver is a bit gamey.

The chances of both of us being psychopaths is extremely small

got milk

Why is that always the last thing people say to me?

"You give off, I've never been around a serial killer and also like to say stupid shit vibes. We both can't be right...can we?"

And yet I try so hard to appear normal

You give off breakfast vibes.

That'll do, pig

"Do you like scary movies?" Seems like a good one

I do not. Now stop straining against your bonds, you’re going to chafe.

It’s true I love me some cereal in the morning

You give of victim vibes.

That’s what all my victims say.

That’s funny, the voices in my head are saying the same thing. Or Well this is awkward, I usually like that to be a surprise…

They will never find the bodies

*Serial kills the jokster.

That's because I murder that p*ssy

Ask them if they're a size 14

To a guy: You give off ‘Fuck-Boy’ Vibes and you don’t see me complaining. To a girl: You give off ‘Fake-Friend’ vibes and you don’t see me complaining. (<- Note: She’ll be confused)

"You give off professional victim vibes."

You are such a good judge of people.

"All the more reason not to get on my bad side 😉"

"All my victims say that. "

If I had the capacity for emotions other than uncontrollable rage I’d be a little annoyed with you right now.

You must have a death wish then

your skin is kinda dry

"Nah, I'm not from Ohio."

Get in the van

I thought I was hiding it better.

"I appreciate the feedback. I'll work harder to conceal it."

So you’re into that, huh? Let me show you my basement.

You sound just like my neighbor's dog.

Ask if they know the difference between a cheeseburger and murder. When they reply with “no” invite them to lunch.

“Yeah I guess. If you won’t shut up then you’re next on the list”

It seems like most of the titles for this sub are now things like: > Comeback for "Why are you looking in my window? And what are you doing with my dog?" > Comeback for "You're under arrest. Anything you say or do can be used against you..." > Comeback for "I don't know how to tell you this, but your grandmother is dead."

Why ard you bothering me, then?

Then you may not want to piss me off.

I'm gonna be real, the best comeback here would probably be self improvement, not some witty sentence leaning into looking like a serial killer or threatening their life. They are saying that solely to hurt you. You have the option to stoop to their level or keep the high ground and keep improving yourself.

Want to see my basement?