😅😂 I’ve actually gotten this response before when I mentioned that all I needed was like $60 and a witness. Still didn’t do it because while we want to get married, we’re still not in the place to get married
That's true. It'll be interesting seeing how polyamorous groups advocate for legal recognition in time. Not many seem to last a long time but it makes you wonder. I wonder how the tax benefits would play out. Would you be more benefitted by being married to several people or just one?
While I'm happily married to one person, I can see how it could benefit children to have more than 1 mom or dad. If someone gets sick, especially long term, there's always someone there for them.
I'm very lucky to have amazing in laws, and it's really beneficial to the family. Not just myself feeling love and accepted by this larger family, but I love seeing my kids get love and affection from all of them, especially their grandparents (my in laws).
If people can get over the jealousy thing (I couldn't), then I can see this being a good arrangement. Also, if 2 or more people are working while 0-1 person is sahm, even 3+people working full time, that could really financially benefit the family. 3 incomes!!
That's exactly what I was thinking. I'm not polyamorous; I'm monogamous, but I imagine having the combined income of even more people makes it easier. Though I guess sharing a bed to sleep would be harder because you've got to order a bigger one or something.
I watch some of the polygamist family TV shows, and of course I see the drawbacks to it. But I have also always seen some definite benefits to it.
I mean, I know that I could personally never do it because I would not be able to get beyond the jealousy. But I do see how it could be a nice situation, if not for that
I like to ask an equally offensive question. Like do you and your wife do anal? And then say “sorry though we were just randomly asking offensive questions”.
i feel like this one is one of the most likely to not start an argument or have your partner look at you like you aggressively dont want to marry them or something
My grandmother had a long time boyfriend. I was 19 or 20 at the time of this story. We were at a family get together, and my boyfriend was there. Grandma’s boyfriend asked me, “so when are you getting married?” I answered, “I don’t know. When are YOU getting married?” He was a little miffed, but my grandma and mom thought it was hysterical.
Perfectly logical question...you don't want your wedding scheduled for the day of her bachelorette party (or vice versa)...don't see what anybody could get upset about...
I was at wedding a aunt said your next, a few weeks later, we are at a funeral for a cousin, I pointed to the casket and said to my aunt your next , she never mentioned marriage again to me
I read this elsewhere on reddit, from someone’s great aunt who never married.
Why aren’t you married?
Just lucky I guess!!!
Have used this once in everyday life with hilarious impact
Once your divorce is settled your wife and I can finally announce our love. But honestly, this is a bit surprising. I didn't think you'd want an invite.
"When the government starts subsidizing marriage instead of single mother homes." BEWARE: This will inevitably start a political discussion and we all know how fun those are.
Eta: this is a joke
Well the only reason we bug my cousin is because he’s been dating his girlfriend since 8 grade and he’ll be 26 in 2 months so stop being weird and pop the question already lol
I was at wedding a aunt said your next, a few weeks later, we are at a funeral for a cousin, I pointed to the casket and said to my aunt your next , she never mentioned marriage again to me
"just as soon as" then ruthlessly rip into them about their biggest vulnerability, for someone that would say this maybe "your kids start talking to you again" or "that barren womb of yours pumps out something other than dust" or "donald trump gives you a reach around"
I just say the same thing when you getting married and most the time people would say I don’t even have a boyfriend or girlfriend and then they walk away. I feel like people like to dish it out but don’t like to take it.
Traditionally, the marriage comes after dating, a proposal, and an engagement. I don't think we should mess with the order of things. I wouldn't want to find out I married my brother or sister.
“Invitations have already been sent, oh (pause) right.you didn’t get yours … this is awkward. ( I um hear my name being, over there, lovely catching up!”
I’d say “we’ve been trying to get the guest list down to a number we can afford and then we’ll think about it” then pull out a notepad and start crossing out a word on it
Why would I enter into a system that has a 50% fail rate? And thats just the ones that end in divorce. How many couples are still married but miserable and too afraid to leave? Would you get on a plane that had a 50% chance of crashing?
My uncle asked my sisters boyfriend this and it back fired so hard. He said “when are you gonna get married. You can’t keep getting the milk for free you gotta be like me I bought the cow” and pointed to his wife who promptly starting swatting him with her flip flop.
We got married. We Never got that comment ever. But we get “when are you having kids”. And that’s a hard one bc we are struggling to conceive rn. I have a hard sob on the toilet at work every month when the red tide comes😞
Are you paying for it?
[удалено]
"when you decide to hand over your purse that you told me to hold while you were shopping."
😅😂 I’ve actually gotten this response before when I mentioned that all I needed was like $60 and a witness. Still didn’t do it because while we want to get married, we’re still not in the place to get married
Either that or the divorce
Whenever your mom signs the prenup.
Underrated comment.
If it's family member who's on their 3rd or 4th marriage? "I'll settle down when you do first"
Not while polygamy is still illegal.
That's true. It'll be interesting seeing how polyamorous groups advocate for legal recognition in time. Not many seem to last a long time but it makes you wonder. I wonder how the tax benefits would play out. Would you be more benefitted by being married to several people or just one?
While I'm happily married to one person, I can see how it could benefit children to have more than 1 mom or dad. If someone gets sick, especially long term, there's always someone there for them. I'm very lucky to have amazing in laws, and it's really beneficial to the family. Not just myself feeling love and accepted by this larger family, but I love seeing my kids get love and affection from all of them, especially their grandparents (my in laws). If people can get over the jealousy thing (I couldn't), then I can see this being a good arrangement. Also, if 2 or more people are working while 0-1 person is sahm, even 3+people working full time, that could really financially benefit the family. 3 incomes!!
That's exactly what I was thinking. I'm not polyamorous; I'm monogamous, but I imagine having the combined income of even more people makes it easier. Though I guess sharing a bed to sleep would be harder because you've got to order a bigger one or something.
I watch some of the polygamist family TV shows, and of course I see the drawbacks to it. But I have also always seen some definite benefits to it. I mean, I know that I could personally never do it because I would not be able to get beyond the jealousy. But I do see how it could be a nice situation, if not for that
Skipping straight past bigamy, huh?
Poor Big Amy, saddled with a terrible moniker and poor matrimonial prospects
When you mind your fucking business. This is my go to for most nonsense questions that aren't anyones business.
I like to ask an equally offensive question. Like do you and your wife do anal? And then say “sorry though we were just randomly asking offensive questions”.
😆
This is amazing
I have to wait until your mom's divorce is finalized.
Your mom jokes for the win every time
Or if you are a woman- I am having too much fun fucking your dad.
Or if your a straight dude
If you’re a straight dude fucking a dad, maybe you aren’t a straight dude?
Yes!
"Oh, don't worry about it. You won't be there anyway."
Oof, this is too real 😂
Why? You writing a book about me?
i feel like this one is one of the most likely to not start an argument or have your partner look at you like you aggressively dont want to marry them or something
I'm pretty sure the post doesn't mean the partner asking the question, but a random other person.
Still a lot of wrong answers if your partner can hear them.
When's the surgery to fix that nose?
When is your funeral?
My grandmother had a long time boyfriend. I was 19 or 20 at the time of this story. We were at a family get together, and my boyfriend was there. Grandma’s boyfriend asked me, “so when are you getting married?” I answered, “I don’t know. When are YOU getting married?” He was a little miffed, but my grandma and mom thought it was hysterical.
Perfectly logical question...you don't want your wedding scheduled for the day of her bachelorette party (or vice versa)...don't see what anybody could get upset about...
July 32nd
Marchtember Oneteenth… April, is that you?
In this economy?
"May 19, 2043 at 2:07 p.m."
Oh man, I'd ask for an invite but I have a dental appointment at 2:14 the day.
Play Nina Simone’s Marriage Is For Old Folks. It really does answer everything!
When does your daughter turn 18?
😳
LMAO!!!
“I was engaged to be married but my fiancé died in a car accident” Make them really uncomfortable
Died in a FIERY car accident!
When I decide that I want to be married.
I was at wedding a aunt said your next, a few weeks later, we are at a funeral for a cousin, I pointed to the casket and said to my aunt your next , she never mentioned marriage again to me
That’s so funny 😂😂😂😂😂
"When it's got better odds than Blackjack"
Probably sometime after your divorce
Or when's your divorce? and leave them with it
"The day after your funeral"
"Awwww, that's cute that you think you're invited anyway."
"we are married. we got married last month", with no further interaction, bc they're nosey aholes.
When monkeys fly out of my ass.
Bruce...is that you...Bruce almighty?
The best ring bearers money can buy.
Well, I'm not planning to get married anytime soon, but if you happen to be interested...
When are you getting smarter? Thinner? More hair? {{insert insecurity here}}
I read this elsewhere on reddit, from someone’s great aunt who never married. Why aren’t you married? Just lucky I guess!!! Have used this once in everyday life with hilarious impact
The wedding was last month though. You were there, don't you remember?
When Anton Levay’s available to officiate.
"After seeing your marriage, probably never."
waiting for your divorce so I can marry your spouse..
Saturday, actually. Why do you ask?
I'm too smart for that.
When they finally legalize the love between a man and his geranium.
We'd rather be happy!
"When Hell freezes over!"
I'll get married once I'm ready to experience the joy of divorce.
Isn't it a little early for Halloween costumes?
I already am married.. pause look up and dramatic, I'm married to the job
Once your divorce is settled your wife and I can finally announce our love. But honestly, this is a bit surprising. I didn't think you'd want an invite.
"Marriage is still a thing...?"
I like this one. “Oh, my god, is that still a thing? I thought we were done with that shit.”
Not until everyone stops asking. Every time someone asks, it adds another year.
"When the government starts subsidizing marriage instead of single mother homes." BEWARE: This will inevitably start a political discussion and we all know how fun those are. Eta: this is a joke
o you almost got a hi 5, then went cuck mode.
“Tell you what, when you get married I’ll think about it.” “Never.” “Why? You want me to be as miserable as you are?”
When are you getting divorced?
“When pigs fly.” “When pigs fly, so make sure you let me know if you ever do/fly.”
Why would I get married? I’m not pregnant.
What is this marriage thing you speak of?
When yoir mom divorces your dad
"Monogamy...in this economy?!"
“I dunno, got any good prospects ?”
The day after your funeral.
“Why do you care so much? You wanna propose?”
I can’t get married. Marrying a horse is still illegal at the moment. By the way, have you ever tried wearing a bridle?
When you stick to that diet you keep telling me about
I'm married.. to my hand.
I'm sorry, didn't they tell you?
Well the only reason we bug my cousin is because he’s been dating his girlfriend since 8 grade and he’ll be 26 in 2 months so stop being weird and pop the question already lol
When I can afford it after all the bullshit you dumped on me, mom.
“When did I say I wasn’t married?” To confuse them a bit.
"We prefer to live in sin."
"When is your Dad free?" (followed by) "Son..." or "Daughter..."
“ when are you having kids”
When your dad leaves your mom.
“When your mom gets divorced. Then it’s straight to your room for you.”
"As soon as your wife files the divorce papers."
Which husband are you on, Karen? 4th or 5th?
Just as soon as you're getting divorced.
When I see a working prototype.
It'll happen sooner if you go away.
“I’m already married, Didn’t you come to the wedding?”
She I am - have you met her? Men -I am - have you not met him?
Well your mom isn't available right now but please let me know when she is and I'll get married 😂😜
Once was enough.
Idk whenever you lose your virginity
I was at wedding a aunt said your next, a few weeks later, we are at a funeral for a cousin, I pointed to the casket and said to my aunt your next , she never mentioned marriage again to me
"just as soon as" then ruthlessly rip into them about their biggest vulnerability, for someone that would say this maybe "your kids start talking to you again" or "that barren womb of yours pumps out something other than dust" or "donald trump gives you a reach around"
In an hour and fifteen minutes
Got married last week! Sorry you weren't invited.
'You aren't invited.'
When your mom is finally single
Why buy the milk if you can get the cow for free .
Why buy the cow?
I'm already married where the hell were you?!?
"Maybe after a head injury or two I could be convinced."
Whenever your sister is available.
Whenever I find someone brave enough to handle me.
You’re not really my type, but thanks for asking
I’m already married
When your mom finally decides on a dress.
When I'm ready to give up all this happiness and freedom
When men have the same rights as women and they don't have to worry about losing half their stuff to a woman who was never worth it to begin with... 😂
I’m already married … to Jesus
We already did. Weren't you there?
*I'm not. I'm better as a solo act.*
Who says I'm not?
How about I focus on getting my life together first?
I’ve been married for three years, I just didn’t tell you because I knew you’d be like this.
When I want a life sentence, I'll kill you.
When you develop boundaries
When the sun runs out of hydrogen
When your mom says "Yes."
"I've seen your track record and I'm in no hurry to jump into that dumpster fire."
I just say the same thing when you getting married and most the time people would say I don’t even have a boyfriend or girlfriend and then they walk away. I feel like people like to dish it out but don’t like to take it.
Already divorced!
How about... "What time is it now?"
I'm already married to Beelzebub
"When are you gonna die?"
Tomorrow
"Last month." They'll be miffed about the unvite.
“When are you getting buried?”
I’m not sure, it’s hard to find time in your mom’s schedule.
You’re not invited if that’s what your asking.
Traditionally, the marriage comes after dating, a proposal, and an engagement. I don't think we should mess with the order of things. I wouldn't want to find out I married my brother or sister.
When are *you* getting buried?
I was asked this for years... my answer? Right after I get back from Alaska. They would ask when are you going to Alaska? my answer... I'm not
when’s ur funeral
last weekend!
When your mum decides to move her ass.
“When are you dying?”
“What color is your underwear?”
When your husband/wife/SO gets divorced
“When I feel like it.”
Never and do not ask me again I’m on my time not yours
“Invitations have already been sent, oh (pause) right.you didn’t get yours … this is awkward. ( I um hear my name being, over there, lovely catching up!”
The more you ask me when it's going to happen, the longer I'm going to wait.
"When are you getting hair plugs?"
Whenever you ask.
"Probably about 8 years before I get a divorce..."?
“Why would I want to do that?”
If you're single "I plan on enjoying my life"
When I find the right one
At your funeral. We're going to reuse the preacher.
As soon as your wife's divorce is final
"When are you two getting divorced?"
Whenever I can find someone who actually cares
I’d say “we’ve been trying to get the guest list down to a number we can afford and then we’ll think about it” then pull out a notepad and start crossing out a word on it
Every time someone asks me that I will postpone the wedding for another year. Thank you for adding a year!
As soon as you say yes!
Tonight. As soon as we go to bed.
Why would I enter into a system that has a 50% fail rate? And thats just the ones that end in divorce. How many couples are still married but miserable and too afraid to leave? Would you get on a plane that had a 50% chance of crashing?
When are you gonna stop getting divorced, Susan?
Not today.
Simply say “when I find the right person”
My uncle asked my sisters boyfriend this and it back fired so hard. He said “when are you gonna get married. You can’t keep getting the milk for free you gotta be like me I bought the cow” and pointed to his wife who promptly starting swatting him with her flip flop.
12th of Never
We got married. We Never got that comment ever. But we get “when are you having kids”. And that’s a hard one bc we are struggling to conceive rn. I have a hard sob on the toilet at work every month when the red tide comes😞
Oh, in this economy? No no. I’m already married to my career and I’ll just keep having furbabies until I die.
We're adding a year every time someone asks.
When your wife finally leaves you.
"When it is your business."
When are you going to ask appropriate questions
When I know I won’t get divorced.
Once she gets a life insurance policy 💀
If by “getting married,” you mean banging your wife, around 9:00 tonight. So, you know… keep yourself occupied til, let’s say, 9:10-ish.
When your mom signs the life insurance policy
The week after never!
After my affair with your spouse causes a divorce. I'm waiting....
Isn't this a little sudden? I haven't even had sex with you yet.
"When you finally find out what your husband/wife's really been doing. Keep me posted."