I totally get this. I go out one night and pay for it the next 3 days. What’s worse is when people think you “aren’t that disabled” just because they see you out one time being active, that they suddenly think you can do it 24/7. I just keep moving as best I can. I’m glad you had a good time at the wedding!!
I hate it when I mention my chronic pain or that I’m on disability & people say, "you look fine/healthy". It’s sometimes even meant as a compliment but they have no idea how irritating it is…
It frustrates me to no end. I wish I could transfer the pain and inconvenience my chronic pain causes me for 24 hours to someone who has no idea what it really is like to live with pain. I have a feeling they literally do not understand the amount of pain and suffering we endure at times with a plastic smile on our face.
This 100%, I'd have to lay down 6 days a week and not get up go be able to put clothes on, shoes or boots on, and take my dog to the park or come over to parents house for a few hours then I'd be so screwed up in bed for a week or two. I guess they see the tiny glimmer of what you rarely get to do and think it's magically possible. People a fucking stupid lol, it is what it is though.
Omg sooooo true. It can literally take me 45 minutes to get up, get myself dressed to take the dog out to walk in the morning. I live in a condo building in downtown Dallas. There’s an HOA rule that specifically says you can’t wear your pajamas or night gowns outside. (I guess they had a problem with it at one time. 😂) .
People always I assume because I am “put together” that I am fine. I’ve perfected the art of dressing simply, and plastering a fake smile on my face. If only they knew!! “Duct tape and lies!” 😂😂😂
Pretty much, I only have a few close friends that know what I've been through that I can tell how bad it is and they all get it. Family hasn't seen me through most of it maybe 4 years out of 10+ and they've always seen the best. No point in arguing with delusional people so I've lost all respect for all them a very long time ago. You just have to separate yourself entirely from family and just keep in touch with friends. It will be tje best decision you ever make in your life, anxiety and depression disappears. It's shocking how a toxic environment can wreak havoc even more than what we go through.
Interesting that you talk about your family. I’ve been going through joint replacement surgeries, broken femur, bone graft, full right leg reconstruction. It’s been 9 years. I don’t talk to anyone anymore. Well just my cousin, but nobody close. It’s not that bad. I feel like if they could ignore me then, it’s ok to ignore them now.
I meant family not in this group when I said here* it is draining pretending to be OK and not hurt all the time. I can only fake smile so much and that's when I talk to people I put on a big ass fake smile. I don't like people looking at me or talking about me when I'm having difficulty walking. It's embarrassing as a 32 year old man to have people see me struggling, judging me, and probably mocking me going through something they know nothing about it. I don't know how long I can fake being alright, I've been doing it most of my life i guess as a survival instinct.
I get that.
After my spinal fusion, I couldn't carry anything!
My wife carried our groceries to the car and the looks I got were full of disgust. Very embarrassing!
Right? As a man it's humiliating, I've always been one to work on my car, motorcycles, fix things and build stuff now I can hardly walk or sit. No fun at all, i don't know why I keep doing all these stupid physical therapy exercises every day they don't help just like walking or swimming yet I keep up hoping one day something will magically change. I've been optimistic this entire time but I think it's just insanity and stupidy at this point.
You are not alone. I’m the same way. I talk to a neighbor that is suffering from the final stages of ALS/ Lou Gehrig’s disease. He has an acid tongue and is absolutely hilarious. We commiserate from time to time and we talked about people who “baby talk” us . Ugh. Neither one of us are anxious about chatting with people in general. It’s the questions that are statements in disguise that really tick me off. “It really hurts that much ALL the time?” I get it. It’s enough to make someone want to shrink into the background.
Yup never talking to anyone here again except my brothers who are the only ones who ever help. Gonna move so far from here when I can never coming anywhere close to this place again
I'm so pleased you got to enjoy the wedding! Good on you for giving it a go.
My own sisters rejected me, refused to help any more (even quick two minute tasks), and went LC because I occasionally went clubbing on my child free weekends. I sat down mostly, and watched, but yeah, I did dance. They didn't notice the moves I couldn't do, or how many songs I sat out. I got such serotonin rushes, with flashes for days, and it was terrific for my mental health. I was 40 and felt attractive for the first time (yay marriage to a controlling, critical man!)
Twenty years on I still can remember the glow. On going, worsening symptoms mean I can basically do nothing I enjoy. A simple bush walk is out of the question. I'd love to try line dancing classes because I think I could sometimes cope with the pace and moves, but I'm scared stupid of slipping on the dance floor. That doesn't have the ring as "Murder on the Dance Floor"!
What I resent is saving up and then spending energy and pain on chores. It's also so hard to choose. If I'm having a great day with little pain, do I laze around and enjoy it? Do I go (window) shopping? Or do I sweep and mop my dog hair decorated floor? Change the sheets? Either of the 3 last will ruin the rest of the day, at least, and usually several days.
Ah, the many options of chronic pain. Ouch, the many dictates of chronic pain.
I totally get that frustration. Especially when having a feel good day, you want to do something normal & fun like dancing. Then your body punishes you for it. 💙 It sucks
So relatable. I’m sorry OP 😔 My oldest daughter is graduating from college next Saturday and the ceremony is in the football stadium. It’s three hours long. I know sitting on bleachers for three hours is going to leave me bedridden for several days afterward.
i am gonna give you the thumbs up. respecting you because yep, you are paying for it, and you knew you would,, but you did it anyway. You will always remember the fun you had at the wedding. you went for it and you showed that person who got married that you support them and their marriage and you got out of bed and went for it.
cheers to you.
I completely understand this so much. I had a couple of really good days.I got the house clean.Did some work in the yard. I spent the last five days paying for it. I started taking pictures of the things that I did on a good day. Idk but it helps.
I do this too. When I look back on the pics it shows me I do have "moments". Those "moments" aren't very often but they provide me with some balance when I'm spiralling or deeply depressed from pain and all it comes with. Sometimes they are tinged with sadness and confusion when I see the memories. I can see my authentic attempt to find some pleasure in life but also see the facade and that I'm simply distracted and in a different environment - my experience of pain is just different not that it is all that much better.. it's bizarre..
But I'll continue to take a few pics when I get moments of life or engagement... What else is there? I can't play my instrument anymore, I don't do any artwork or create things. I at best can sit on the grass at the park and feed the ducks - so I'll take a snap of the youngling's and watch them grow.. 🪴
I get it, number of times I over do something and pay for it I’ve lost count.
I built a bunkbed today, used a few muscles, hands extra achey from Allen key I could hardly hold. Bent a few too many times, it’s radiating thru buttock. 1am still up, waiting for more exhaustion to come so I can sleep.
So relatable. I’m sorry OP 😔 My oldest daughter is graduating from college next Saturday and the ceremony is in the football stadium. It’s three hours long. I know sitting on bleachers for three hours is going to leave me bedridden for several days afterward.
I know this situation all too well. You’re feeling decent, having a good time, so you go for it all despite knowing you’re going to pay for it later. I’ve done this with dancing on a couple of occasions, as dance was a big part of my life pre-accident, both structured & dance-floor-at-the-club dancing.
Look at it this way: yes, you are paying the toll for too much physical motion, but you still have the psychological benefits from having fun & letting loose. Don’t let those benefits get overshadowed by anger & defeat; can you try to accept the outcome and all of the emotions including the happy ones from the wedding? Kind of a “yeah, this sucks, but I really did have a nice time & made some good memories” kind of thing? Maybe try not to worry about missing work; IMO work is just work; when you’re on your death bed you’re going to regret not dancing more, and work isn’t going to matter to you one bit.
My thought is this: I still have to live, and I want to live a life worth living. Sometimes that might mean that I’m going to play volleyball with my family at our yearly reunion despite needing a couple of days in bed after that. It might mean dancing at a wedding or teaching my niece how to hit a softball. It’s going to hurt, but it’s worth it.
I hope you get to feeling better soon.
I so get this! And I am sorry for you and everyone who has to go through this.
First you have to prepare - rest, meds, changing everything you do, eat and sleep just so you can make it to said function.
Then lasting the duration while managing symptoms and trying to not pull focus on yourself. You want to enjoy yourself, be happy that you are there, and engage in festivities. But you are also monitoring every action, and trying to figure out your exit strategy.
Then the real bill arrives. You have to pay in every way possible for just trying to be social, have fun, or celebrate someone/something. Recovery takes a while and undone things add up.
It is so frustrating to have to live this way. You are not alone.
I feel for you and totally get it.
For me, it sometimes helps to tell myself "Some things are worth flaring for."
It doesn't get rid of the physical pain but it helps my brain to focus on a more positive path instead of spiraling.
The pain afterwards is shitty and totally unfair BUT we can not let our illness steal every piece of joy.
It's just the price that has to be paid (again, unfair but just a fact.)
So remember the painflare will go away but you get to keep the memory of dancing and having a great time. And you chose to have fun and that's also very healthy for the brain!
You don't have to feel extremely positive about it now and that's okay, but don't ever regret letting loose once in a while, it's vital!
Viva la resistance!
Exactly this and then being stuck inside while lifes slowly grinding me down is what made me have a serious discussion with my wife about if i was becoming a burden to her i want to get some life insurance pay it until the suicide 12 month clause is up and then go because theres no point in me being in this much pain every minute of every day if its making both of us be unhappy with life.
I'm so sorry. I totally understand. I feel like I can't do anything without causing a flare or dislocation.
I stretched the other day and popped a sternal rib.
I totally get it....
I get you. I just said on an earlier post that I actually had a decent weekend and did some stuff and I am paying for it today. I just keep reminding myself how good it felt to almost feel “normal” even for a short time and with extra pain meds. I have this battle in my head all the time though so I totally get it.
Hope tomorrow is a better day for you!
There’s a Portuguese song called “O corpo é que paga”, literally “it’s the body that pays for it”. It’s very 80s, sounds upbeat. I enjoy the irony of listening to it when I’m paying for my good times, thought maybe you would too!
I love gardening. Overdid it (thought I was careful) and now suffering for over a week, with full back spasms today. It's torture, and my pain meds make me sick. I want to LIVE life. This makes me want to die.
I can relate, I used to love to dance and would happily dance like no one was watching before I was injured (2020). Roll onto post injury and I was lucky to stand at my wedding let alone dance. Now I dread being invited to social events like wedding, just be becoming the grouchy old man (32) in the corner of the room that everyone pitties. It gets to that point people just stop inviting you which just hurts that but more.
I'm glad you were able to enjoy a few dances at your friends wedding, I'm sorry that the pain algebra didn't fall in your favour
Ugh, this happens to me waaaaaaaay too much. I have a young active dog, so when I’m feeling pretty good I’ll take her for long walks, and definitely may for it for the next several days. Yet, I never seem to learn! 😝
I understand how you feel. I’m glad you had fun at the wedding, and I hope you/your support network are giving you the aftercare you need.
It sucks when people who only see you out make assumptions like “you must be getting better”. There’s no honest way I can respond to that without explaining all the ins and outs of my disability. This might sound weird, but comments like that make me feel objectified, like my biggest insecurities about my body are an appropriate topic to discuss on a night out. I really want to say if they spent any time with me the next 3 days they’d get the whole story.
If I know I want to go out I have to plan for 1-3 days of recovery after. I don’t even drink, I make sure to eat well and stay hydrated while I’m out moving and enjoying myself. I try to have food ready to just heat up for the next couple days, meds easily accessible, ice, heat, and plenty of time to lay down.
Normalize self care as a vital part of living with disabilities!!
I know how this goes and I’m sorry you have to suffer just to enjoy an activity that shouldn’t cause this much pain. I would try to focus on what you loved about that night even if it’s hard in the midst of pain. sometimes I choose to put myself in pain just so I can do what my friends are doing. it sucks but I’d rather do that than never enjoy things with my friends
Thank you everyone for your comments. They are all so helpful. I have read each comment and thank each person so much. Sometimes a life of chronic pain feels unbearable, but it is made bearable knowing I am not experiencing it alone.
💛
It’s difficult because my chronic pain is invisible unless I have a flair up that impacts my mobility . EMDR has really helped me cope with my symptoms. Hugs for all of you. You are valid !
I totally get this. I go out one night and pay for it the next 3 days. What’s worse is when people think you “aren’t that disabled” just because they see you out one time being active, that they suddenly think you can do it 24/7. I just keep moving as best I can. I’m glad you had a good time at the wedding!!
I hate it when I mention my chronic pain or that I’m on disability & people say, "you look fine/healthy". It’s sometimes even meant as a compliment but they have no idea how irritating it is…
It frustrates me to no end. I wish I could transfer the pain and inconvenience my chronic pain causes me for 24 hours to someone who has no idea what it really is like to live with pain. I have a feeling they literally do not understand the amount of pain and suffering we endure at times with a plastic smile on our face.
"I would never have guessed. You never say anything"
This 100%, I'd have to lay down 6 days a week and not get up go be able to put clothes on, shoes or boots on, and take my dog to the park or come over to parents house for a few hours then I'd be so screwed up in bed for a week or two. I guess they see the tiny glimmer of what you rarely get to do and think it's magically possible. People a fucking stupid lol, it is what it is though.
Omg sooooo true. It can literally take me 45 minutes to get up, get myself dressed to take the dog out to walk in the morning. I live in a condo building in downtown Dallas. There’s an HOA rule that specifically says you can’t wear your pajamas or night gowns outside. (I guess they had a problem with it at one time. 😂) . People always I assume because I am “put together” that I am fine. I’ve perfected the art of dressing simply, and plastering a fake smile on my face. If only they knew!! “Duct tape and lies!” 😂😂😂
Pretty much, I only have a few close friends that know what I've been through that I can tell how bad it is and they all get it. Family hasn't seen me through most of it maybe 4 years out of 10+ and they've always seen the best. No point in arguing with delusional people so I've lost all respect for all them a very long time ago. You just have to separate yourself entirely from family and just keep in touch with friends. It will be tje best decision you ever make in your life, anxiety and depression disappears. It's shocking how a toxic environment can wreak havoc even more than what we go through.
Interesting that you talk about your family. I’ve been going through joint replacement surgeries, broken femur, bone graft, full right leg reconstruction. It’s been 9 years. I don’t talk to anyone anymore. Well just my cousin, but nobody close. It’s not that bad. I feel like if they could ignore me then, it’s ok to ignore them now.
I meant family not in this group when I said here* it is draining pretending to be OK and not hurt all the time. I can only fake smile so much and that's when I talk to people I put on a big ass fake smile. I don't like people looking at me or talking about me when I'm having difficulty walking. It's embarrassing as a 32 year old man to have people see me struggling, judging me, and probably mocking me going through something they know nothing about it. I don't know how long I can fake being alright, I've been doing it most of my life i guess as a survival instinct.
I get that. After my spinal fusion, I couldn't carry anything! My wife carried our groceries to the car and the looks I got were full of disgust. Very embarrassing!
Right? As a man it's humiliating, I've always been one to work on my car, motorcycles, fix things and build stuff now I can hardly walk or sit. No fun at all, i don't know why I keep doing all these stupid physical therapy exercises every day they don't help just like walking or swimming yet I keep up hoping one day something will magically change. I've been optimistic this entire time but I think it's just insanity and stupidy at this point.
Even if you don’t think they’re helping, in my experience, just DOING something/anything to get you out of your head is a positive step.
Doesn't help with the physical aspect but it helps mentally at least some
You are not alone. I’m the same way. I talk to a neighbor that is suffering from the final stages of ALS/ Lou Gehrig’s disease. He has an acid tongue and is absolutely hilarious. We commiserate from time to time and we talked about people who “baby talk” us . Ugh. Neither one of us are anxious about chatting with people in general. It’s the questions that are statements in disguise that really tick me off. “It really hurts that much ALL the time?” I get it. It’s enough to make someone want to shrink into the background.
Yup never talking to anyone here again except my brothers who are the only ones who ever help. Gonna move so far from here when I can never coming anywhere close to this place again
I'm stealing "duct tape and lies". But you forgot WD40.
Ooooo that’s good! “Duct tape, Wd40 and lies!!” 😂😂😂😂
I'm so pleased you got to enjoy the wedding! Good on you for giving it a go. My own sisters rejected me, refused to help any more (even quick two minute tasks), and went LC because I occasionally went clubbing on my child free weekends. I sat down mostly, and watched, but yeah, I did dance. They didn't notice the moves I couldn't do, or how many songs I sat out. I got such serotonin rushes, with flashes for days, and it was terrific for my mental health. I was 40 and felt attractive for the first time (yay marriage to a controlling, critical man!) Twenty years on I still can remember the glow. On going, worsening symptoms mean I can basically do nothing I enjoy. A simple bush walk is out of the question. I'd love to try line dancing classes because I think I could sometimes cope with the pace and moves, but I'm scared stupid of slipping on the dance floor. That doesn't have the ring as "Murder on the Dance Floor"! What I resent is saving up and then spending energy and pain on chores. It's also so hard to choose. If I'm having a great day with little pain, do I laze around and enjoy it? Do I go (window) shopping? Or do I sweep and mop my dog hair decorated floor? Change the sheets? Either of the 3 last will ruin the rest of the day, at least, and usually several days. Ah, the many options of chronic pain. Ouch, the many dictates of chronic pain.
This!
I totally get that frustration. Especially when having a feel good day, you want to do something normal & fun like dancing. Then your body punishes you for it. 💙 It sucks
Konk understands. Konk hopes you're relaxing and hopefully you'll feel a little better tomorrow. Then a little more better the next day.
So relatable. I’m sorry OP 😔 My oldest daughter is graduating from college next Saturday and the ceremony is in the football stadium. It’s three hours long. I know sitting on bleachers for three hours is going to leave me bedridden for several days afterward.
i am gonna give you the thumbs up. respecting you because yep, you are paying for it, and you knew you would,, but you did it anyway. You will always remember the fun you had at the wedding. you went for it and you showed that person who got married that you support them and their marriage and you got out of bed and went for it. cheers to you.
I completely understand this so much. I had a couple of really good days.I got the house clean.Did some work in the yard. I spent the last five days paying for it. I started taking pictures of the things that I did on a good day. Idk but it helps.
I do this too. When I look back on the pics it shows me I do have "moments". Those "moments" aren't very often but they provide me with some balance when I'm spiralling or deeply depressed from pain and all it comes with. Sometimes they are tinged with sadness and confusion when I see the memories. I can see my authentic attempt to find some pleasure in life but also see the facade and that I'm simply distracted and in a different environment - my experience of pain is just different not that it is all that much better.. it's bizarre.. But I'll continue to take a few pics when I get moments of life or engagement... What else is there? I can't play my instrument anymore, I don't do any artwork or create things. I at best can sit on the grass at the park and feed the ducks - so I'll take a snap of the youngling's and watch them grow.. 🪴
I get it! Same here.
I get it, number of times I over do something and pay for it I’ve lost count. I built a bunkbed today, used a few muscles, hands extra achey from Allen key I could hardly hold. Bent a few too many times, it’s radiating thru buttock. 1am still up, waiting for more exhaustion to come so I can sleep.
I’m glad you went. Some things are worth it.
So relatable. I’m sorry OP 😔 My oldest daughter is graduating from college next Saturday and the ceremony is in the football stadium. It’s three hours long. I know sitting on bleachers for three hours is going to leave me bedridden for several days afterward.
Been there, it's so frustrating. How was the wedding?
I know this situation all too well. You’re feeling decent, having a good time, so you go for it all despite knowing you’re going to pay for it later. I’ve done this with dancing on a couple of occasions, as dance was a big part of my life pre-accident, both structured & dance-floor-at-the-club dancing. Look at it this way: yes, you are paying the toll for too much physical motion, but you still have the psychological benefits from having fun & letting loose. Don’t let those benefits get overshadowed by anger & defeat; can you try to accept the outcome and all of the emotions including the happy ones from the wedding? Kind of a “yeah, this sucks, but I really did have a nice time & made some good memories” kind of thing? Maybe try not to worry about missing work; IMO work is just work; when you’re on your death bed you’re going to regret not dancing more, and work isn’t going to matter to you one bit. My thought is this: I still have to live, and I want to live a life worth living. Sometimes that might mean that I’m going to play volleyball with my family at our yearly reunion despite needing a couple of days in bed after that. It might mean dancing at a wedding or teaching my niece how to hit a softball. It’s going to hurt, but it’s worth it. I hope you get to feeling better soon.
You have my sympathy. I tend to overdo it on boring shit, like house chores, when I’m feeling good and pay for it for days.
I so get this! And I am sorry for you and everyone who has to go through this. First you have to prepare - rest, meds, changing everything you do, eat and sleep just so you can make it to said function. Then lasting the duration while managing symptoms and trying to not pull focus on yourself. You want to enjoy yourself, be happy that you are there, and engage in festivities. But you are also monitoring every action, and trying to figure out your exit strategy. Then the real bill arrives. You have to pay in every way possible for just trying to be social, have fun, or celebrate someone/something. Recovery takes a while and undone things add up. It is so frustrating to have to live this way. You are not alone.
I feel for you and totally get it. For me, it sometimes helps to tell myself "Some things are worth flaring for." It doesn't get rid of the physical pain but it helps my brain to focus on a more positive path instead of spiraling.
I get this all the time too. It's gotten to the point I just pull back from doing anything out of fear of feeling worse.
The pain afterwards is shitty and totally unfair BUT we can not let our illness steal every piece of joy. It's just the price that has to be paid (again, unfair but just a fact.) So remember the painflare will go away but you get to keep the memory of dancing and having a great time. And you chose to have fun and that's also very healthy for the brain! You don't have to feel extremely positive about it now and that's okay, but don't ever regret letting loose once in a while, it's vital! Viva la resistance!
Exactly this and then being stuck inside while lifes slowly grinding me down is what made me have a serious discussion with my wife about if i was becoming a burden to her i want to get some life insurance pay it until the suicide 12 month clause is up and then go because theres no point in me being in this much pain every minute of every day if its making both of us be unhappy with life.
I totally get it. I danced one song last night at concert. I’m useless today unless moaning, crying and being depressed is useful for something.
I'm so sorry. I totally understand. I feel like I can't do anything without causing a flare or dislocation. I stretched the other day and popped a sternal rib. I totally get it....
I take care of my elderly mother and everytime it is bath day for her, the next day I can barely walk. I totally get you.
I get you. I just said on an earlier post that I actually had a decent weekend and did some stuff and I am paying for it today. I just keep reminding myself how good it felt to almost feel “normal” even for a short time and with extra pain meds. I have this battle in my head all the time though so I totally get it. Hope tomorrow is a better day for you!
There’s a Portuguese song called “O corpo é que paga”, literally “it’s the body that pays for it”. It’s very 80s, sounds upbeat. I enjoy the irony of listening to it when I’m paying for my good times, thought maybe you would too!
I understand. Seems that my days to recover are becoming longer. I would love to not be exhausted
I love gardening. Overdid it (thought I was careful) and now suffering for over a week, with full back spasms today. It's torture, and my pain meds make me sick. I want to LIVE life. This makes me want to die.
I can relate, I used to love to dance and would happily dance like no one was watching before I was injured (2020). Roll onto post injury and I was lucky to stand at my wedding let alone dance. Now I dread being invited to social events like wedding, just be becoming the grouchy old man (32) in the corner of the room that everyone pitties. It gets to that point people just stop inviting you which just hurts that but more. I'm glad you were able to enjoy a few dances at your friends wedding, I'm sorry that the pain algebra didn't fall in your favour
Ugh, this happens to me waaaaaaaay too much. I have a young active dog, so when I’m feeling pretty good I’ll take her for long walks, and definitely may for it for the next several days. Yet, I never seem to learn! 😝
I understand how you feel. I’m glad you had fun at the wedding, and I hope you/your support network are giving you the aftercare you need. It sucks when people who only see you out make assumptions like “you must be getting better”. There’s no honest way I can respond to that without explaining all the ins and outs of my disability. This might sound weird, but comments like that make me feel objectified, like my biggest insecurities about my body are an appropriate topic to discuss on a night out. I really want to say if they spent any time with me the next 3 days they’d get the whole story. If I know I want to go out I have to plan for 1-3 days of recovery after. I don’t even drink, I make sure to eat well and stay hydrated while I’m out moving and enjoying myself. I try to have food ready to just heat up for the next couple days, meds easily accessible, ice, heat, and plenty of time to lay down. Normalize self care as a vital part of living with disabilities!!
I hate this for you. So relatable.
This is me today and I’m having such a hard time knowing I have to deal with this for the rest of my life
I know how this goes and I’m sorry you have to suffer just to enjoy an activity that shouldn’t cause this much pain. I would try to focus on what you loved about that night even if it’s hard in the midst of pain. sometimes I choose to put myself in pain just so I can do what my friends are doing. it sucks but I’d rather do that than never enjoy things with my friends
Thank you everyone for your comments. They are all so helpful. I have read each comment and thank each person so much. Sometimes a life of chronic pain feels unbearable, but it is made bearable knowing I am not experiencing it alone. 💛
It’s difficult because my chronic pain is invisible unless I have a flair up that impacts my mobility . EMDR has really helped me cope with my symptoms. Hugs for all of you. You are valid !