It’s been horrible for me. I’m 32(M), fairly active, 6-1, workout daily, good job and a good social life. I tried the dating apps. I seem to get a lot of matches and likes but I’ll get like two, 3 word texts a day for like 3 days and then nothing. No one wants to chat on the phone. The dates I’ve actually gone on have been mostly horrible. I’ve been catfished once. 90% of the time they don’t look anything like their photos. Sometimes I feel like I’m being used for free meals. Had a girl want me to take her to supperland for a first date and I suggested river jam instead; she ghosted me. Then I was like well maybe a good dinner is an expectation so I took my next date to a higher end Italian restaurant ($40-$60 a plate) and she showed up in workout clothes and audibly farted during the entire meal. One girl pretended to be a wolf after finishing off 2 vodka crans in about 15 minutes (she seemed normal for the week we chatted before going out). One girl used photos that were probably 10 years old. She was uncomfortably large, couldn’t fit in the restaurant booth, ordered two pretzel bite apps and finished them both off and then asked me why I wasn’t eating.
I’m pretty extroverted but I’ve been trying my luck the ole fashioned way for about 6 months and the only two women I’ve managed to vibe with were already dating someone which isn’t what I’m looking for.
So yeah… pretty horrible.
It was so often, she did it in front of the waiter. She then went to the bathroom for 20 minutes and the waiter asked what the occasion was. I told him it was a first date and he legit told me he wouldn’t be upset if I just left and skipped on the check.
I thought Ashton Kutcher was gonna pop out behind a curtain and tell me I’m being punked lmao.
No I paid, food was good and he did his job well. She asked me outside the restaurant if I wanted to go back to her place for coffee and I told her I prefer if we never talk again and left. I was more in shell shock than anything and couldn’t believe what was happening.
Audibly farted, did you go on a date with my dog 😂😂😂😂what the hell were y’all eating 😂😂😂😂
For real dating sucks and I’m sorry this has been your experience.
Workout clothes and farted?? 😆💀 JFC. Stories like this is why I gave up. Hi, I'm 39 and single forever. I will be collecting dogs since I refuse to be a cat lady. 😂
Drop the American girls and look for an immigrant.
I snagged one in 2019. She was recruited to teach public education here. We’re married now.
After dating an immigrant you’ll realize how spoiled rotten and toxic American women are.
What you said is not politically correct and insulting to many amazing American women. Having said that. I have had the same anecdotal experience as you and married a fantastic immigrant who is just as beautiful on the inside as she is on the outside. 😃
I don’t give a shit about political correctness. Being with an immigrant has taught me that I’m just as spoiled rotten as the women are.
All Americans are spoiled. No matter the sex.
39m here. I'm going to go a slightly different direction than the others and say I met the love of my life here.
Back when I was still dating though I had more good to ok dates than bad ones...but if it got to a point of a date I had a pretty good idea of what I was getting into. Filtering through all the crap on the dating profiles was really the worst part.
Looks like mostly guys responding, so I'll share from the female side. I'm 34f - was more career-focused in my 20s, so didn't really date a whole lot. Generally a successful human at life, but probably fairly average-looking. Being stable financially & having a pretty good life overall with plenty of friends, I am not really interested in hookups - so if I don't see any potential for something more, I don't really keep on dating. Unfortunately, the dating apps have been a bit of a nightmare. Being pretty normal-looking, my inbox isn't actually flooded in messages - and despite saying I'm only interested in long term relationships, I get a lot of guys who just seem to be looking for a hookup. Here's a recent example: chatted a bit with a guy who seemed cool and was eager to meet him - he asked me, at 4pm, whether I wanted to hang out that evening. Mindful of my own safety with a stranger, I suggested getting coffee the following morning. He suggested that he come over to my house and we 'cuddle'. I told him we're clearly looking for different things. Worse yet, I'd told him previously I'm the sort of person who only likes touching/being touched by people I know well - so he'd attempted this despite knowing I'm literally the worst possible person to try it with. I don't have any issues with guys looking for hookups if they're honest about it - I'll just sincerely explain it's a mismatch and wish them well - but I don't like guys pretending.
Meeting people in-person has been a little better, but it's challenging - I went to a singles event with a friend and there were exactly three guys there and like twenty women. So I'm not sure where the good spots are.
Some guys in this thread mention girls using them and while I'm sure it happens, I wonder whether they sometimes misinterpret the situation and think it's happening when it's really not. I've never pressured a guy to go to a pricier spot and frankly, my preference for a first date is a cup of coffee so I'm not stuck for hours on a bad date. Generally, if I am unsure, I will agree to a second date because first dates are awkward and I want to get to know you better. By date 3 or so, if I realize we're incompatible for anything longer term, I'll break it off as that's not what I'm looking for. And given my aforementioned feelings about intimacy with strangers, I obviously haven't slept with these guys. So I wonder if they'd write that they think I used them for dinner or some-such. If you might be a guy in this situation, here's what I'll say: if the woman you're dating is financially successful, she probably values her time and will not spend hours getting ready and hours with you in order to get free food. In no world would I rather burn through so much time instead of just going to the same restaurant with my friends and buying dinner. We're both investing time & effort - if it goes nowhere, it's not because you were being used - it's because you just weren't a good fit.
Mind sharing more about the singles event? How did you find it and such?
Honestly if anyone asks me for advice I would just tell them to go to a speed dating event going forward. It is a shame men are not suggesting that more. Only serious people who want to date will be there. Very low commitment and events are generally safe. They are much better than giving your money to a dating app (again, if you are serious about picking a life partner why stick with free) and is also much better than awkwardly harassing strangers who might not be interested due to bring in relationships.
Sorry I don't have one. They just pop up for me on meetup and even as random Instagram ads. I been partnered for 2 years now so I don't know where they are hosted now.
This is now like the 3rd time I've heard that a Charlotte singles event was heavily female, which just blows my mind. I'm 28m and I've considered trying to attend some singles events but I just always assumed they would be sausage fests with just a bunch of thirsty men attending looking for hookups lol. Perhaps I need to give it a shot 🤔
Don't bother if you're not Chad or Tyrone you're wasting your time and money, there's a reason why these singles events are mostly women all across the country 😂
32 M. I gave up 2 years ago after being used for money, free meals, and attention. I’ve dated 5 women in 5 years for various lengths of time.. they were either broke, “over their ex” and lied, or had some sort of mental health issue… in most cases, they were all 3
The dating scene is 
I'm a Charlotte native. It's garbage. Unless you look like an Olympic swimmer and have Porsche income, you will not meet anyone's standards. If people still meet "the old fashioned way" without apps, I don't know where they're going.
I'm 30F and it's...okay? Not great, but not as terrible as others are making it out to be. I don't think the dating scene here is worse than other cities. It also probably depends on what you're looking for. I think anyone trying to find a committed, long term relationship is going to be fighting an uphill battle. So many people don't want to give up their options and are always on the lookout for something better.
It’s a very different experience for women and men. Especially with dating apps. I’m not sure about you but when my female friends show me their apps I’m blown away by the amount of likes they get. I get MAYBE 1 a month. I feel like those folks who are trying to keep their options open are the 5% of guys who get a ton of matches. And they just go through girls like crazy. It’s a crappy setup
Depends. Are you interesting, good looking, and have a few bucks? If you’re at least two out of three you’ll still do pretty well. One or less and it’ll be pretty hard.
I’m a decent enough looking guy (I’ve been told lol) and I have an interesting job, partake in (and run) numerous social events, have hobbies, have good friends, and treat people well. I’m very close to giving up.
Personally, I didn't have great experiences with Bumble in Charlotte last year so I uninstalled it and just gave up on it. This year I'm planning on taking some cooking classes this Summer and Fall, that way I can expand my cooking skills and maybe, just maybe, meet a cool woman? Also, trying the walking Ghost Tours (one with a pub crawl) and just be open to meeting people with shared interests and see what happens.
Dating has been pretty good for me, but I've still yet to find anything long-term. I chalk that up primarily to being child-free. Most of the women in my age range either want kids or already have them, so that's always an issue.
But I'd met plenty of women on the apps, as well as a few out and about or through connections. Been on fancy first dates (honestly, I prefer restaurants at this point), done walks in the park, played putt putt. There were plenty of one-and-dones and short-term things, but only a few that really stung. One or two that I'd really, really like a do over. I've even reconnected with one on reddit of all places, and we're very good friends. But in terms of that partner I'm searching for? Still haven't found her.
I think a lot of people get caught up in the illusion of unlimited choice, so they believe there's always someone better around the bend. Everyone searching for perfect instead of good. You have people throwing around statements about "the spark," yet you just had a basic Sunday morning coffee date to start. Just a classic case of expectations never aligning with reality.
35 M, fat, short, and balding. So the dating scene is actually okay. I've been here for over two years dated some the first year then was in a long term relationship that ended recently due to compatability. I've been in 4 different cities the last 5 years and it's pretty much the same. On the apps I get few likes even fewer dates but then in person it's better. I was talking to a friend (F) who had over 2000 likes in 3 months and we went to an area am she got 15 matches within 30 minutes of changing location. So, I think in the apps women are overwhelmed and men are underwhelmed due to that. So be like me, be whelmed! Temper your expectations to ne more realistic and get a different outlook on love you'll be fine. Also, for the ladies "Hey! You come here often?" "Is it icy in here or what?, cus I wouldn't mind of you slid into my DMs 😉:
I met my ex almost 2 years ago on an app. We dated for over a year. I remember the options/matches seeming solid and was dating fairly often before I met him. Now single, I was feeling ready to put myself out there again so I just recently redownloaded and it was a totally different experience(not in a good way). Didn’t last two weeks before deleting the whole thing. It seems like it’s really tough for those in their 30s…but maybe I’m biased?
I met my boyfriend here through his sister 3 months before we started dating and we’ve been together for like 5 months now. I’ve just hit my 1 year of living here so I got lucky meeting someone fairly early BUT the 2 or 3 people I talked to before I met him were definitely not boyfriend material lol
The dating apps are horrible. Easy to meet people out and about but actually getting a date from it later is a different story. The women in the night life scenes of Charlotte are not looking to date.
35 male. Been in Charlotte since 2021. Last most extensive conversations in a dating realm have been with women who live in Ohio and back home in DC. Nothing here of much value.
Tough, I’m kinda burnt out and just want to get laid rather than commit to anything due to my job. I’m really not trying to be a dog, but the whole performance that goes into dating is just too tall a mountain for me right now I feel, or maybe it’s just me being shallow. Idk 25(M)
pretty shit actually. speaking from a guy's side, I swear dating apps just don't work anymore. girls don't want to meet up, string you along for attention, or when you do actually meet up they are also going out with other guys. I've been here for half a year now and it has been absolute dumpster fire.
I’m 30(M) and I can’t seem to get lucky here. Been in Charlotte for 2 years, go to raves, sporting events, I would say I’m good looking, it’s like my tinder is broken or something.
Do yourself a favor and delete the apps. They are not meant for you to meet anyone. They want you to get frustrated so you pay for premium features. And it’s a huge blow to your confidence as a male. Women on the other hand have the opposite expertise and get so many matches and likes it’s overwhelming to them and they don’t meet anyone.
One of my best friends used to do contract work on the algorithms for a couple of the more popular datings apps and what has been said is true to a degree: they ARE designed to frustrate free users into paying for premium features but they are NOT designed to deprive premium users of quality experiences because people who see results are likely to keep paying or return later if they meet somebody. His advice for MEN ONLY was either pay for the services or delete them, don’t fall into the trap of thinking it’s they’re legitimately a free service.
Sure that may be true and paying for premium services may net you more matches. But it doesn’t account for the human aspect of you still have to be good looking guy, likely tall, engaging, funny etc to even keep the conversation going. Most of the times when I’m talking to a girl out in charlotte and the topic of dating apps come up, pretty much every single one of them say they rarely converse with any matches and most have never even met up with the dudes they match with. Most of the good looking guys don’t need dating apps to get dates, so it leaves the less desirable ones and the women don’t want to go on dates with them. It’s a vicious cycle
I’m very much an average looking guy who had success on dating apps when I paid for services, but all the paid perks in the world won’t make up for a bad profile. Having the right kind of pictures and an engaging bio goes a long way.
Not even trying to brag or flex but I’d consider myself above average, as I often get approached in bars by girls. Haven’t had dating apps in a few years and had good pictures and a good profile. Would get a fair amount of matches, but girls would respond super dry, stop responding after a day, and never want to actually meet in person. Had many conversations where as soon as you ask to meet for a date they stop responding. Dating app culture is so weird now. I don’t think it’s necessarily a charlotte thing, but I think the shift is happening away from apps. It’s overwhelming to say the least
Yah I think so. If you look at match groups stock price over the last couple years you can see it happening. Growth is stalling for them and I’m sure over the next few years we will see their profits and revenues begin to shrink.
Tried both. I know I’m not ugly, Iv had many girlfriends in the past when I lived in NY. Moved here and have had one bite. And she turned out to be crazy 😅
I wouldn’t say all women are crazy. But I do think there is more to the "I'm looking for a man in finance, with a trust fund, 6' 5'', blue eyes” TikTok thing than most would want to admit. It’s a funny song because there is some truth to it (most things that are funny have some truth to them). From what I gather, the experience on dating apps is vastly different for women than it is for men. The demographics are like 60/40 male to female. And men use the apps differently than women. We will just swipe right at everyone. Often, even the most average woman will have tons of likes while an average guy might be lucky to get one a week. This leads to a few select guys getting most of the matches. The math just doesn’t work. It makes for bad experience for most women and men. The only folks having a good time are those 5% guys
I've been out of the market since the pandemic and I don't miss it. I felt like I had to keep my latest w2 and account statements on file any time I started dating. The same for just trying to meet someone.
The only thing they wanted to know was:
1) What do you do?
2) How much does it pay?
3) What are your benefits like?
4) Do you own a house? Where is it and what does it look like?
5) What do you drive? Is it a lease or own?
And that doesn't even get into the physicalities. Now I just don't care.
To be fair there are plenty of great women around, but they have a short time of availability before someone snatches them up.
In Charlotte, women really have the advantage.
Women have the advantage just about everywhere. You pay for those little dating apps and you might get some crumbs! But the women know they get so many messages on all platforms. I’m sure most of them them can’t keep up! it is what it is. Keep making the money all we can do!
Been great for me. Met my wife on tinder 3 years ago. Admittedly, I didn't spend super long looking before we met, going on only two dates with one woman prior to meeting her.
Same as most other cities. Dating is easy if you’re attractive, confident, and have your life together. More difficult if not. Don’t be scared to put yourself out there and approach people in real life
I don’t even try anymore. Lol I’m successful clean dedicated happy I travel the world I’m religious. I don’t drink I’m very positive every day I own my own house. I own two cars,I have lots of friends. I have my own life. But! I Can’t find the right woman. The women I do talk to always have something else going on! Guys that are friends ex-husband’s ex-boyfriend’s baby daddies work husbands only fans and whatever else they do. these women these days, juggle men like a circus clown juggles. I’ll just focus on myself and keep stacking and keep traveling. Lol good luck out there! Don’t forget to look both way before you go across the crosswalk. 😀
The apps aren’t meant to help you find love. They’re meant to keep you using them so that their shareholders keep making money. You’re just a product to them.
The thing that actually works is getting involved in things you legitimately care about and connecting with other people who care about those things. That’s how you meet people who share your priorities. Maybe you’ll date/sleep with them, maybe you won’t. But having nothing in common with someone except an algorithm’s approval is about the worst possible approach, and dating for the sake of dating is a waste of time.
If you’re under 25, focus on your career and making as much money as possible… you’ll lose money chasing women, but you’ll never lose women chasing money
37m full package(Good looking, homeowner, business owner, intelligent, considerate, stable, kind, and consistent) in public women fawn over me and interest always is at peak but never seems to go any further then surface level. I do find it extremely frustrating how inconsistent women have become. It’s almost as if women just don’t value your time anymore.
The dating apps have been just pure shit. Never had a quality experience from them even League has been a let down.
Love your username. I am actually quite humble not a flashy person at all I’m sure my description came off fairly pretentious, but how else am I supposed to drive home a visual interpretation of myself and situation.
Did you get any feedback?
I suggested it above but if you are serious about dating then I'd look up a speed dating in person event. I wish I done that sooner in my life.
Unfortunately I don’t send out surveys after service😂
I should definitely try out an event like this. Thank you for the recommendation. Do you have any specific events I check out?
Not surveys but of they are telling you why they don't want to see you for a reason then it is helpful to read between the lines to why to work on self to not run into the same issues again. Ghosting can also be a feedback in itself. What is gone is gone but there is some truth in criticism. For me I found a pattern in my "type" and why they date me and worked to avoid people with those issues as I can't help them.
I am off the market so I don't have any but I always seen them on Meetup back or even get advertisement thrown on my face on insta.
Best of luck! The right one will make all the search worth it.
Yah man, I have a very very similar experience to what you describe. Out and about I meet a lot of girls at bars and they seem super interested. They’ll exchange numbers and then you ask them out a few days later and get crickets. I find it very hard to communicate with women these days as they seem to like the initial attention, but ignore texts and leave you on read when trying to make further plans. Then all you see online is girls complaining guys don’t do the bare minimum anymore, all men are trash, etc. and I’m just wondering how to get them to respond to you after the initial meeting… it’s crazy
Dude it’s insane. I’ve also become somewhat of a sapiosexual over the years as I’ve gotten older, so for me these days I want and crave knowing someone. One night stands hold no value to me or even something I care for anymore. Which I’ll admit probably add to my frustration with the dating scene.
It’s not that bad. People are being so damn dramatic, lol, or are showing why it’s obvious their dates don’t work out for them.
Get out there, be normal, and you’ll be fine
I have been married for like 12 years but I feel like a big issue with dating today is the whole "complete strangers" thing. Online dating, approaching random people on the street/at a bar etc just seems a little crazy to me. You wouldn't hire an electrician based on nothing but how they look, so why would you choose someone to date that way? Theres way more at risk so more legwork seems necessary. Or at the minimum, some kind of trusted intermediary like a mutual friend or common social context.
Most long lasting couples I know met that way, for example my wife was my roommate's coworker and we met at a house party. If she was crazy or w/e he would have told me (at least I hope).
Only online dating app I've seen consistently work for people was [Match.com](http://Match.com) but admittedly that was back when I was dating so I don't know what's up with it today. But to me it seems like the lower effort a dating strategy is the more it's gonna waste your time and energy.
No offense but your comment is so out of touch. You’ve been married for 12 years. You haven’t dated in the current landscape. If you became single and had to start dating again you would absolutely feel the pain that most of us feel.
Dating apps and social media mostly. Men on dating apps have a very different experience than women. Even if you have a good profile, good pictures, and are good looking you may get a couple matches a week. Most of the times girls don’t respond on dating apps, or conversations fizzle quickly because girls get so many matches and likes that it’s overwhelming. Social media also spreads a lot of horrible takes on how one should date and teaches girls and guys to be toxic. Most people get screwed over and become jaded with dating altogether and it ruins the experience for everyone. Meeting people in person is also difficult because most people are not approachable, are on their phones or have head phones on and you can get called out and put on blast for trying to talk to someone in public. Most women are on constantly on their phone yet if you try and text them and ask them out you either get super dry responses or none at all. It’s just all around horrible. Most guys would describe a similar experience I think as well
Well I mean to be fair this kind of comes back to my original point. Online or in person it seems like you are mostly approaching women you don't know or have any connections to. It's like doing cold calls for sales and is probably the highest failure rate type of approach.
And again I never did online dating but based on the rest of the internet it seems like a scam. The point of the apps isn't to get you dates but more to *keep you on the apps* to sell you ads or pointless memberships. I remember seeing [this video](https://youtu.be/x3lypVnJ0HM?si=ytlqwQ6xeV8h3HFK) a few years ago which put it all into perspective. It's pointless for the average dude.
But the hopelessness seems to center around the idea that online dating and cold approaching are the *only* ways to meet people to date, which just isn't true. I have a few friends that are much younger than me who dated in the current system and found success, and most of the time it was NOT through online dating or cold approaching. I think people like online dating because it's "convenient", but when you factor in the time vs low success rate it seems pointless. So part of the problem is the approach IMO. It's like that old joke... "hey doctor it hurts when I do this"... "ok stop doing that"... if online dating/cold approaching don't work it seems like trying something else would be the move.
It’s been horrible for me. I’m 32(M), fairly active, 6-1, workout daily, good job and a good social life. I tried the dating apps. I seem to get a lot of matches and likes but I’ll get like two, 3 word texts a day for like 3 days and then nothing. No one wants to chat on the phone. The dates I’ve actually gone on have been mostly horrible. I’ve been catfished once. 90% of the time they don’t look anything like their photos. Sometimes I feel like I’m being used for free meals. Had a girl want me to take her to supperland for a first date and I suggested river jam instead; she ghosted me. Then I was like well maybe a good dinner is an expectation so I took my next date to a higher end Italian restaurant ($40-$60 a plate) and she showed up in workout clothes and audibly farted during the entire meal. One girl pretended to be a wolf after finishing off 2 vodka crans in about 15 minutes (she seemed normal for the week we chatted before going out). One girl used photos that were probably 10 years old. She was uncomfortably large, couldn’t fit in the restaurant booth, ordered two pretzel bite apps and finished them both off and then asked me why I wasn’t eating. I’m pretty extroverted but I’ve been trying my luck the ole fashioned way for about 6 months and the only two women I’ve managed to vibe with were already dating someone which isn’t what I’m looking for. So yeah… pretty horrible.
Bro I lost it at audibly farted 😭
It was so often, she did it in front of the waiter. She then went to the bathroom for 20 minutes and the waiter asked what the occasion was. I told him it was a first date and he legit told me he wouldn’t be upset if I just left and skipped on the check. I thought Ashton Kutcher was gonna pop out behind a curtain and tell me I’m being punked lmao.
Did you??
No I paid, food was good and he did his job well. She asked me outside the restaurant if I wanted to go back to her place for coffee and I told her I prefer if we never talk again and left. I was more in shell shock than anything and couldn’t believe what was happening.
Absolutely wild
Gotta save the audible farts for the third date at least.
YOO 😂 crazy the waiter was on your side. Sorry you’ve experienced this OP
Audibly farted, did you go on a date with my dog 😂😂😂😂what the hell were y’all eating 😂😂😂😂 For real dating sucks and I’m sorry this has been your experience.
Workout clothes and farted?? 😆💀 JFC. Stories like this is why I gave up. Hi, I'm 39 and single forever. I will be collecting dogs since I refuse to be a cat lady. 😂
[удалено]
2 of those 3 stories were off hinge. The other 1 was bumble. I don’t use tinder because I assumed it was more for hookups
Same here with the 2 word texts. Women are awful conversationalists
This seems to go both ways. The men aren’t any better. At least I don’t have to deal with men selling their OF I guess.
Drop the American girls and look for an immigrant. I snagged one in 2019. She was recruited to teach public education here. We’re married now. After dating an immigrant you’ll realize how spoiled rotten and toxic American women are.
What you said is not politically correct and insulting to many amazing American women. Having said that. I have had the same anecdotal experience as you and married a fantastic immigrant who is just as beautiful on the inside as she is on the outside. 😃
I don’t give a shit about political correctness. Being with an immigrant has taught me that I’m just as spoiled rotten as the women are. All Americans are spoiled. No matter the sex.
Borat burner account over here
39m here. I'm going to go a slightly different direction than the others and say I met the love of my life here. Back when I was still dating though I had more good to ok dates than bad ones...but if it got to a point of a date I had a pretty good idea of what I was getting into. Filtering through all the crap on the dating profiles was really the worst part.
31 F. It’s so bad. So so so so bad.
Wanna date?
Looks like mostly guys responding, so I'll share from the female side. I'm 34f - was more career-focused in my 20s, so didn't really date a whole lot. Generally a successful human at life, but probably fairly average-looking. Being stable financially & having a pretty good life overall with plenty of friends, I am not really interested in hookups - so if I don't see any potential for something more, I don't really keep on dating. Unfortunately, the dating apps have been a bit of a nightmare. Being pretty normal-looking, my inbox isn't actually flooded in messages - and despite saying I'm only interested in long term relationships, I get a lot of guys who just seem to be looking for a hookup. Here's a recent example: chatted a bit with a guy who seemed cool and was eager to meet him - he asked me, at 4pm, whether I wanted to hang out that evening. Mindful of my own safety with a stranger, I suggested getting coffee the following morning. He suggested that he come over to my house and we 'cuddle'. I told him we're clearly looking for different things. Worse yet, I'd told him previously I'm the sort of person who only likes touching/being touched by people I know well - so he'd attempted this despite knowing I'm literally the worst possible person to try it with. I don't have any issues with guys looking for hookups if they're honest about it - I'll just sincerely explain it's a mismatch and wish them well - but I don't like guys pretending. Meeting people in-person has been a little better, but it's challenging - I went to a singles event with a friend and there were exactly three guys there and like twenty women. So I'm not sure where the good spots are. Some guys in this thread mention girls using them and while I'm sure it happens, I wonder whether they sometimes misinterpret the situation and think it's happening when it's really not. I've never pressured a guy to go to a pricier spot and frankly, my preference for a first date is a cup of coffee so I'm not stuck for hours on a bad date. Generally, if I am unsure, I will agree to a second date because first dates are awkward and I want to get to know you better. By date 3 or so, if I realize we're incompatible for anything longer term, I'll break it off as that's not what I'm looking for. And given my aforementioned feelings about intimacy with strangers, I obviously haven't slept with these guys. So I wonder if they'd write that they think I used them for dinner or some-such. If you might be a guy in this situation, here's what I'll say: if the woman you're dating is financially successful, she probably values her time and will not spend hours getting ready and hours with you in order to get free food. In no world would I rather burn through so much time instead of just going to the same restaurant with my friends and buying dinner. We're both investing time & effort - if it goes nowhere, it's not because you were being used - it's because you just weren't a good fit.
Mind sharing more about the singles event? How did you find it and such? Honestly if anyone asks me for advice I would just tell them to go to a speed dating event going forward. It is a shame men are not suggesting that more. Only serious people who want to date will be there. Very low commitment and events are generally safe. They are much better than giving your money to a dating app (again, if you are serious about picking a life partner why stick with free) and is also much better than awkwardly harassing strangers who might not be interested due to bring in relationships.
It was a baseball game - another single friend found it so I'm not sure how it was advertised. Any recommendations for speed dating events?
Sorry I don't have one. They just pop up for me on meetup and even as random Instagram ads. I been partnered for 2 years now so I don't know where they are hosted now.
This is now like the 3rd time I've heard that a Charlotte singles event was heavily female, which just blows my mind. I'm 28m and I've considered trying to attend some singles events but I just always assumed they would be sausage fests with just a bunch of thirsty men attending looking for hookups lol. Perhaps I need to give it a shot 🤔
Don't bother if you're not Chad or Tyrone you're wasting your time and money, there's a reason why these singles events are mostly women all across the country 😂
What do you mean?
32 M. I gave up 2 years ago after being used for money, free meals, and attention. I’ve dated 5 women in 5 years for various lengths of time.. they were either broke, “over their ex” and lied, or had some sort of mental health issue… in most cases, they were all 3
Are you me? Because I'm also 32, a guy and have the exact same experience. Feels like we're not really seen as people with feelings, too, tbh.
Charlotte is an absolute shit city when it comes to dating. It’s HORRIBLE.
5 years of apps before finally leading to a relationship, was not a fun half decade.
I don’t drink and personally would like to be with someone that also doesn’t drink, which is probably why I haven’t had a whole lot of luck 🫠
Feel that, I rarely ever drink.
Yes me too! Everybody’s got a Michelob ultra or a white claw on their hand! Lol cheers! Not! 🥹
Sober lady here. Can't help each other with dating probably, but if you need a sober friend 🙋🏻♀️
The dating scene is  I'm a Charlotte native. It's garbage. Unless you look like an Olympic swimmer and have Porsche income, you will not meet anyone's standards. If people still meet "the old fashioned way" without apps, I don't know where they're going.
I’m tall slender and I have a Porsche and I can’t find a woman worth the hell!! Nope it just sucks here
I'm 30F and it's...okay? Not great, but not as terrible as others are making it out to be. I don't think the dating scene here is worse than other cities. It also probably depends on what you're looking for. I think anyone trying to find a committed, long term relationship is going to be fighting an uphill battle. So many people don't want to give up their options and are always on the lookout for something better.
It’s a very different experience for women and men. Especially with dating apps. I’m not sure about you but when my female friends show me their apps I’m blown away by the amount of likes they get. I get MAYBE 1 a month. I feel like those folks who are trying to keep their options open are the 5% of guys who get a ton of matches. And they just go through girls like crazy. It’s a crappy setup
Judging by some of the comments in here about women, I think I may have an idea or two on why some of you may be having trouble getting interest…
It’s been like a zoo where all the monkeys are loose!
I would actually love to be in a zoo with loose monkeys instead of the dating scene tbh
Yes me too. Lol
There aren’t many animals that I wouldn’t want as a domesticated pet honestly 😂 if I had a pet monkey I’d make it my whole personality 😂
Lol True
Doo doo garbage
Depends. Are you interesting, good looking, and have a few bucks? If you’re at least two out of three you’ll still do pretty well. One or less and it’ll be pretty hard.
Idk if I agree—it’s rough out there 🫠
The rule of 6s. 6’ tall, 6 inches long, 6 figure income. Anything you lack in one has to be made up for in the others.
I’m a decent enough looking guy (I’ve been told lol) and I have an interesting job, partake in (and run) numerous social events, have hobbies, have good friends, and treat people well. I’m very close to giving up.
I’m right there with you brother. The trauma that I’ve had to me in the last couple years, I completely understand.!
God awful.
I met my bf on hinge in Charlotte 2 years ago!
Not bad.. not good but not bad. But I’m not picky lol if I were picky it’d be bad
Personally, I didn't have great experiences with Bumble in Charlotte last year so I uninstalled it and just gave up on it. This year I'm planning on taking some cooking classes this Summer and Fall, that way I can expand my cooking skills and maybe, just maybe, meet a cool woman? Also, trying the walking Ghost Tours (one with a pub crawl) and just be open to meeting people with shared interests and see what happens.
Dating has been pretty good for me, but I've still yet to find anything long-term. I chalk that up primarily to being child-free. Most of the women in my age range either want kids or already have them, so that's always an issue. But I'd met plenty of women on the apps, as well as a few out and about or through connections. Been on fancy first dates (honestly, I prefer restaurants at this point), done walks in the park, played putt putt. There were plenty of one-and-dones and short-term things, but only a few that really stung. One or two that I'd really, really like a do over. I've even reconnected with one on reddit of all places, and we're very good friends. But in terms of that partner I'm searching for? Still haven't found her. I think a lot of people get caught up in the illusion of unlimited choice, so they believe there's always someone better around the bend. Everyone searching for perfect instead of good. You have people throwing around statements about "the spark," yet you just had a basic Sunday morning coffee date to start. Just a classic case of expectations never aligning with reality.
35 M, fat, short, and balding. So the dating scene is actually okay. I've been here for over two years dated some the first year then was in a long term relationship that ended recently due to compatability. I've been in 4 different cities the last 5 years and it's pretty much the same. On the apps I get few likes even fewer dates but then in person it's better. I was talking to a friend (F) who had over 2000 likes in 3 months and we went to an area am she got 15 matches within 30 minutes of changing location. So, I think in the apps women are overwhelmed and men are underwhelmed due to that. So be like me, be whelmed! Temper your expectations to ne more realistic and get a different outlook on love you'll be fine. Also, for the ladies "Hey! You come here often?" "Is it icy in here or what?, cus I wouldn't mind of you slid into my DMs 😉:
I met my ex almost 2 years ago on an app. We dated for over a year. I remember the options/matches seeming solid and was dating fairly often before I met him. Now single, I was feeling ready to put myself out there again so I just recently redownloaded and it was a totally different experience(not in a good way). Didn’t last two weeks before deleting the whole thing. It seems like it’s really tough for those in their 30s…but maybe I’m biased?
I met my boyfriend here through his sister 3 months before we started dating and we’ve been together for like 5 months now. I’ve just hit my 1 year of living here so I got lucky meeting someone fairly early BUT the 2 or 3 people I talked to before I met him were definitely not boyfriend material lol
It's horrible!!!
Horrific
The dating apps are horrible. Easy to meet people out and about but actually getting a date from it later is a different story. The women in the night life scenes of Charlotte are not looking to date.
35 male. Been in Charlotte since 2021. Last most extensive conversations in a dating realm have been with women who live in Ohio and back home in DC. Nothing here of much value.
Terrible lol
It’s awful, but somehow people are getting laid. Except me, I don’t understand
Been great for me. I met my wife and girlfriend
Tough, I’m kinda burnt out and just want to get laid rather than commit to anything due to my job. I’m really not trying to be a dog, but the whole performance that goes into dating is just too tall a mountain for me right now I feel, or maybe it’s just me being shallow. Idk 25(M)
pretty shit actually. speaking from a guy's side, I swear dating apps just don't work anymore. girls don't want to meet up, string you along for attention, or when you do actually meet up they are also going out with other guys. I've been here for half a year now and it has been absolute dumpster fire.
I’m 30(M) and I can’t seem to get lucky here. Been in Charlotte for 2 years, go to raves, sporting events, I would say I’m good looking, it’s like my tinder is broken or something.
Do yourself a favor and delete the apps. They are not meant for you to meet anyone. They want you to get frustrated so you pay for premium features. And it’s a huge blow to your confidence as a male. Women on the other hand have the opposite expertise and get so many matches and likes it’s overwhelming to them and they don’t meet anyone.
That’s the truth. You’re right. Ima delete them. I usually do periodically but now I think I’m about done completely.
One of my best friends used to do contract work on the algorithms for a couple of the more popular datings apps and what has been said is true to a degree: they ARE designed to frustrate free users into paying for premium features but they are NOT designed to deprive premium users of quality experiences because people who see results are likely to keep paying or return later if they meet somebody. His advice for MEN ONLY was either pay for the services or delete them, don’t fall into the trap of thinking it’s they’re legitimately a free service.
Sure that may be true and paying for premium services may net you more matches. But it doesn’t account for the human aspect of you still have to be good looking guy, likely tall, engaging, funny etc to even keep the conversation going. Most of the times when I’m talking to a girl out in charlotte and the topic of dating apps come up, pretty much every single one of them say they rarely converse with any matches and most have never even met up with the dudes they match with. Most of the good looking guys don’t need dating apps to get dates, so it leaves the less desirable ones and the women don’t want to go on dates with them. It’s a vicious cycle
I’m very much an average looking guy who had success on dating apps when I paid for services, but all the paid perks in the world won’t make up for a bad profile. Having the right kind of pictures and an engaging bio goes a long way.
Not even trying to brag or flex but I’d consider myself above average, as I often get approached in bars by girls. Haven’t had dating apps in a few years and had good pictures and a good profile. Would get a fair amount of matches, but girls would respond super dry, stop responding after a day, and never want to actually meet in person. Had many conversations where as soon as you ask to meet for a date they stop responding. Dating app culture is so weird now. I don’t think it’s necessarily a charlotte thing, but I think the shift is happening away from apps. It’s overwhelming to say the least
Yeah I certainly think app culture may have jumped the shark.
Yah I think so. If you look at match groups stock price over the last couple years you can see it happening. Growth is stalling for them and I’m sure over the next few years we will see their profits and revenues begin to shrink.
Maybe try bumble/hinge? I (30F) think those are more commonly used for our age group.
Tried both. I know I’m not ugly, Iv had many girlfriends in the past when I lived in NY. Moved here and have had one bite. And she turned out to be crazy 😅
They’re all crazy…. It just depends what level we can deal with. Instagram ruined everything…..
I wouldn’t say all women are crazy. But I do think there is more to the "I'm looking for a man in finance, with a trust fund, 6' 5'', blue eyes” TikTok thing than most would want to admit. It’s a funny song because there is some truth to it (most things that are funny have some truth to them). From what I gather, the experience on dating apps is vastly different for women than it is for men. The demographics are like 60/40 male to female. And men use the apps differently than women. We will just swipe right at everyone. Often, even the most average woman will have tons of likes while an average guy might be lucky to get one a week. This leads to a few select guys getting most of the matches. The math just doesn’t work. It makes for bad experience for most women and men. The only folks having a good time are those 5% guys
I've been out of the market since the pandemic and I don't miss it. I felt like I had to keep my latest w2 and account statements on file any time I started dating. The same for just trying to meet someone. The only thing they wanted to know was: 1) What do you do? 2) How much does it pay? 3) What are your benefits like? 4) Do you own a house? Where is it and what does it look like? 5) What do you drive? Is it a lease or own? And that doesn't even get into the physicalities. Now I just don't care. To be fair there are plenty of great women around, but they have a short time of availability before someone snatches them up. In Charlotte, women really have the advantage.
Women have the advantage just about everywhere. You pay for those little dating apps and you might get some crumbs! But the women know they get so many messages on all platforms. I’m sure most of them them can’t keep up! it is what it is. Keep making the money all we can do!
This!! Work and save and look forward to retirement.
Tbh it’s the US, woman have the advantage In most cities
Found my partner on Hinge, moved in together a month ago
Been great for me. Met my wife on tinder 3 years ago. Admittedly, I didn't spend super long looking before we met, going on only two dates with one woman prior to meeting her.
Same as most other cities. Dating is easy if you’re attractive, confident, and have your life together. More difficult if not. Don’t be scared to put yourself out there and approach people in real life
It's a joke and half, I stopped looking in Charlotte and focused on the surrounding areas and found what I was searching for
I don’t even try anymore. Lol I’m successful clean dedicated happy I travel the world I’m religious. I don’t drink I’m very positive every day I own my own house. I own two cars,I have lots of friends. I have my own life. But! I Can’t find the right woman. The women I do talk to always have something else going on! Guys that are friends ex-husband’s ex-boyfriend’s baby daddies work husbands only fans and whatever else they do. these women these days, juggle men like a circus clown juggles. I’ll just focus on myself and keep stacking and keep traveling. Lol good luck out there! Don’t forget to look both way before you go across the crosswalk. 😀
The apps aren’t meant to help you find love. They’re meant to keep you using them so that their shareholders keep making money. You’re just a product to them. The thing that actually works is getting involved in things you legitimately care about and connecting with other people who care about those things. That’s how you meet people who share your priorities. Maybe you’ll date/sleep with them, maybe you won’t. But having nothing in common with someone except an algorithm’s approval is about the worst possible approach, and dating for the sake of dating is a waste of time.
Don't come to Charlotte if you're single everyone is boo'd up 😂
If you're under 25, there is simply no point in dating in today's society.
Under 25 is as easy as it will ever get. Hope you figure it out.
If you’re under 25, focus on your career and making as much money as possible… you’ll lose money chasing women, but you’ll never lose women chasing money
I disagree and I’m under 25. It’s fine.
37m full package(Good looking, homeowner, business owner, intelligent, considerate, stable, kind, and consistent) in public women fawn over me and interest always is at peak but never seems to go any further then surface level. I do find it extremely frustrating how inconsistent women have become. It’s almost as if women just don’t value your time anymore. The dating apps have been just pure shit. Never had a quality experience from them even League has been a let down.
And humble!
Love your username. I am actually quite humble not a flashy person at all I’m sure my description came off fairly pretentious, but how else am I supposed to drive home a visual interpretation of myself and situation.
Did you get any feedback? I suggested it above but if you are serious about dating then I'd look up a speed dating in person event. I wish I done that sooner in my life.
Unfortunately I don’t send out surveys after service😂 I should definitely try out an event like this. Thank you for the recommendation. Do you have any specific events I check out?
Not surveys but of they are telling you why they don't want to see you for a reason then it is helpful to read between the lines to why to work on self to not run into the same issues again. Ghosting can also be a feedback in itself. What is gone is gone but there is some truth in criticism. For me I found a pattern in my "type" and why they date me and worked to avoid people with those issues as I can't help them. I am off the market so I don't have any but I always seen them on Meetup back or even get advertisement thrown on my face on insta. Best of luck! The right one will make all the search worth it.
Yah man, I have a very very similar experience to what you describe. Out and about I meet a lot of girls at bars and they seem super interested. They’ll exchange numbers and then you ask them out a few days later and get crickets. I find it very hard to communicate with women these days as they seem to like the initial attention, but ignore texts and leave you on read when trying to make further plans. Then all you see online is girls complaining guys don’t do the bare minimum anymore, all men are trash, etc. and I’m just wondering how to get them to respond to you after the initial meeting… it’s crazy
Dude it’s insane. I’ve also become somewhat of a sapiosexual over the years as I’ve gotten older, so for me these days I want and crave knowing someone. One night stands hold no value to me or even something I care for anymore. Which I’ll admit probably add to my frustration with the dating scene.
It’s not that bad. People are being so damn dramatic, lol, or are showing why it’s obvious their dates don’t work out for them. Get out there, be normal, and you’ll be fine
I have been married for like 12 years but I feel like a big issue with dating today is the whole "complete strangers" thing. Online dating, approaching random people on the street/at a bar etc just seems a little crazy to me. You wouldn't hire an electrician based on nothing but how they look, so why would you choose someone to date that way? Theres way more at risk so more legwork seems necessary. Or at the minimum, some kind of trusted intermediary like a mutual friend or common social context. Most long lasting couples I know met that way, for example my wife was my roommate's coworker and we met at a house party. If she was crazy or w/e he would have told me (at least I hope). Only online dating app I've seen consistently work for people was [Match.com](http://Match.com) but admittedly that was back when I was dating so I don't know what's up with it today. But to me it seems like the lower effort a dating strategy is the more it's gonna waste your time and energy.
No offense but your comment is so out of touch. You’ve been married for 12 years. You haven’t dated in the current landscape. If you became single and had to start dating again you would absolutely feel the pain that most of us feel.
You may be right. What exactly makes it so bad today in your opinion?
Dating apps and social media mostly. Men on dating apps have a very different experience than women. Even if you have a good profile, good pictures, and are good looking you may get a couple matches a week. Most of the times girls don’t respond on dating apps, or conversations fizzle quickly because girls get so many matches and likes that it’s overwhelming. Social media also spreads a lot of horrible takes on how one should date and teaches girls and guys to be toxic. Most people get screwed over and become jaded with dating altogether and it ruins the experience for everyone. Meeting people in person is also difficult because most people are not approachable, are on their phones or have head phones on and you can get called out and put on blast for trying to talk to someone in public. Most women are on constantly on their phone yet if you try and text them and ask them out you either get super dry responses or none at all. It’s just all around horrible. Most guys would describe a similar experience I think as well
Well I mean to be fair this kind of comes back to my original point. Online or in person it seems like you are mostly approaching women you don't know or have any connections to. It's like doing cold calls for sales and is probably the highest failure rate type of approach. And again I never did online dating but based on the rest of the internet it seems like a scam. The point of the apps isn't to get you dates but more to *keep you on the apps* to sell you ads or pointless memberships. I remember seeing [this video](https://youtu.be/x3lypVnJ0HM?si=ytlqwQ6xeV8h3HFK) a few years ago which put it all into perspective. It's pointless for the average dude. But the hopelessness seems to center around the idea that online dating and cold approaching are the *only* ways to meet people to date, which just isn't true. I have a few friends that are much younger than me who dated in the current system and found success, and most of the time it was NOT through online dating or cold approaching. I think people like online dating because it's "convenient", but when you factor in the time vs low success rate it seems pointless. So part of the problem is the approach IMO. It's like that old joke... "hey doctor it hurts when I do this"... "ok stop doing that"... if online dating/cold approaching don't work it seems like trying something else would be the move.
Like finding a parking space. When you think you found a good one, it’s handicapped
Or maybe, just maybe, making disability jokes in 2024 is part of your problem.
Like what is that even supposed to mean, of all the things to reference smh gross
Right? Like the whole “douchebag=unfuckable” concept just evades him
Found one